Show note links:   Download The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app   Go grab your £20 or $25 discount on your Sensate device: https://www.getsensate.com/fran   Freebies:   Grab your FREE ‘Stressed To Success’ meditation: https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success   Download your guide for How to journal, for the non ‘dear-diary’ type! https://franexcell.com/journaling-101   Grab your free Procrastination Buster workbook https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster   Find out YOUR Enneagram type:https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram    Ways to work with me:   Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app   Enneagram Essentials 90 minute 1:1 &amp; Guide book https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp   For corporate coaching, training and workshops email hello@franexcell.com   Products:   Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude    Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook    Contact:   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!   Email me at hello@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways!   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/   The Power Of One Conversation   The power that just one conversation with the right person can have can be so underestimated and undervalued and under utilised.   So I wanted to talk about it today, consider us in a little (one sided) conversation right now.    There are far too many people bottling things up for fear of judgement from others, their own self judgement of what reaching out to someone ‘means’ (for example, you’re weak or can’t cope yourself)   And that behaviour usually makes perfect sense when you take a little look back over various dynamics when you were growing up.   It can be parents, siblings, teachers, peers.    We learn reasons that it’s not ‘safe’ to talk about our issues. It’s incredibly common.   It might be that you were always the one looking after people so you de-prioritised your own issues. It might be that you were taught you had to be the strong one for whatever reason. SO many things where it would make perfect sense why you’d learn to not share.   If you take a look back please, as always, remember to do it with compassion for yourself and not from a place of judgement, blame or shame.  Curiosity is your friend here over judgement.   Now, for context, sharing my problems was something that always came very easily to me.     I’m an Enneagram 6 and I would always talk through any problems I had with other people because it helped me work it through in my mind and it always helped to say it out loud and hear other people’s perspectives.   This is why you always need to look at the nuance of any situation or behaviour because the same behaviour could be a result of totally different circumstances. We’re all individuals and we have to figure out OUR reasons for our programming. You don’t even have to KNOW the reasons to be able to identify the behaviour and change it. I just have found that to be the quickest route to self compassion and shifts in perspective for me, and my clients too.    It can also shift based on your experiences later in life too.   I was in a situation for a long time where I felt like I couldn’t share my problems or what was going on for me.    I couldn’t share what was going on for me for shame, embarrassment, fear of judgement, various stories around how I ‘should’ be able to handle it myself, all the things!   So I didn’t share, I kept it in.    Guess what.   It was the worst thing I could have done and I honestly feel like I lost myself in that way for a number of years.   I’d keep everything to myself and that stress and anxiety would build and build until the inevitable moments where you feel broken and like all hope is lost.   Not fun.   I’m sure lots of you can relate to this.   It’s easily done.   So for me it was a behaviour I unlearned due to circumstance and had to RE-learn.   I had to change my stories around it and I had to put myself out there to change the pattern and make sharing ‘safe’ again.   If it’s a brand new behaviour for you too it will absolutely feel tricky at first to put yourself out there and say, ‘Hey, can I talk to you, I have some stuff going on.’   The people on the other side create stories too.   So this really does work both ways.   You might think that your strong friend not reaching out means they’re totally fine when they might not be.   You might think the person NOT reaching out to you might be being selfish when actually they have their own stuff going on.   So don’t allow the story to take over, ask yourself what else could be going on.    We tend to protect ourselves and assume the worst, but more often than not there’s an explanation and being vulnerable yourself to say, ‘Hey,are you ok?’ instead of going straight to anger, hurt or cutting someone off.   There are also moments where we might isolate ourselves. Sometimes it can feel like you’re incredibly lonely, but you also don’t want to talk to or see anyone.   If I ever feel like this, like I did recently because there’s still quite the roller coaster going on in my world where it feels like limbo at every turn sometimes, I make a conscious effort to reach out to people who feel safe to me because I know how quickly something can turn around with one conversation.   So that’s what I did.    I reached out and said, ‘Hey, I’m struggling a bit at the moment, do you have any time to talk or meet up?’   The trick is to know who your ‘safe’ people are.    It’s easy to find excuses as to why you can’t. When you’re in self preservation mode you’ll always find a really good, rational reason.   That’s the trick sometimes…overriding what our unconscious patterns are telling us are good for us vs consciously knowing what’s best for us.   In the words of Brene Brown, there’s immense power in vulnerability.   You’re 100% allowed human moments!   But as with anything, you have to start small and allow the pattern of safety build up in your brain and nervous system.   That might be reaching out to one friend. It might be a counsellor or therapist, it might be a free service offered by charities like the Samaritans.    Allow yourself to build up the experiences where being honest and vulnerable with someone helps.   The worst thing we can do is allow it to sit there and grow when it doesn’t have to.   One conversation has the power to completely shift your mood, your emotions, your perspective.    One conversation can find you a solution when you couldn’t find one.   One conversation can make you feel validated.   One conversation can help you breathe a sigh of relief or have a much needed release.   One conversation can change everything in an instant.   One conversation can bring you an opportunity.   You just have to be brave and vulnerable and take that first step.   One conversation can create new possibilities that weren’t there before.   One conversation could get you everything you’ve ever wanted.   One conversation can ease your pain.   One conversation can show you all the stories you created to fill in the blanks in your head aren’t true.   One conversation can bring you closer to someone.   I’m sure listening to this you’re thinking of a tonne of conversations you’d like to have and for whatever reason may have stopped yourself.   Communication is everything. It really is the key to having what you want.  Yes it won’t always go your way. Yes there might be a little heartbreak or disappointment to contend with from time to time.   But you will learn hugely valuable lessons along the way.   And be honest with yourself, what’s the alternative?  What is not reaching out or being brave going to get you?   Probably not much better than more of the same right?   Honesty and communication is a winning combination and it really can just take one conversation to shift everything.   Fx

Show note links: <ul> <li> Download The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month <a href="https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app</a> </li> <li> Go grab your £20 or $25 discount on your Sensate device: <a href="https://www.getsensate.com/fran" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.getsensate.com/fran</a> </li> </ul> Freebies: <ul> <li> Grab your FREE ‘Stressed To Success’ meditation: <a href="https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success</a> </li> <li> Download your guide for How to journal, for the non ‘dear-diary’ type! <a href="https://franexcell.com/journaling-101" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/journaling-101</a> </li> <li> Grab your free Procrastination Buster workbook <a href="https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster</a> </li> <li> Find out YOUR Enneagram type:<a href="https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram</a> </li> </ul> Ways to work with me: <ul> <li> Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month <a href="https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app</a> </li> <li> Enneagram Essentials 90 minute 1:1 &amp; Guide book <a href="https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp</a> </li> <li> For corporate coaching, training and workshops email hello@franexcell.com </li> </ul> Products: <ul> <li> Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:<a href="https://bit.ly/365daygratitude" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/365daygratitude</a> </li> <li> Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:<a href="https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook</a> </li> </ul> Contact: <ul> <li> Make sure you’re following me on Instagram <a href="https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/</a> and tag me into your key takeaways! </li> <li> Email me at hello<a>@franexcell.com</a> with any questions or take aways! </li> <li> For more, head over to: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.franexcell.com/</a> </li> </ul> The Power Of One Conversation The power that just one conversation with the right person can have can be so underestimated and undervalued and under utilised. So I wanted to talk about it today, consider us in a little (one sided) conversation right now.  There are far too many people bottling things up for fear of judgement from others, their own self judgement of what reaching out to someone ‘means’ (for example, you’re weak or can’t cope yourself) And that behaviour usually makes perfect sense when you take a little look back over various dynamics when you were growing up. It can be parents, siblings, teachers, peers.  We learn reasons that it’s not ‘safe’ to talk about our issues. It’s incredibly common. It might be that you were always the one looking after people so you de-prioritised your own issues. It might be that you were taught you had to be the strong one for whatever reason. SO many things where it would make perfect sense why you’d learn to not share. If you take a look back please, as always, remember to do it with compassion for yourself and not from a place of judgement, blame or shame.  Curiosity is your friend here over judgement. Now, for context, sharing my problems was something that always came very easily to me.   I’m an Enneagram 6 and I would always talk through any problems I had with other people because it helped me work it through in my mind and it always helped to say it out loud and hear other people’s perspectives. This is why you always need to look at the nuance of any situation or behaviour because the same behaviour could be a result of totally different circumstances. We’re all individuals and we have to figure out OUR reasons for our programming. You don’t even have to KNOW the reasons to be able to identify the behaviour and change it. I just have found that to be the quickest route to self compassion and shifts in perspective for me, and my clients too.  It can also shift based on your experiences later in life too. I was in a situation for a long time where I felt like I couldn’t share my problems or what was going on for me.  I couldn’t share what was going on for me for shame, embarrassment, fear of judgement, various stories around how I ‘should’ be able to handle it myself, all the things! So I didn’t share, I kept it in.  Guess what. It was the worst thing I could have done and I honestly feel like I lost myself in that way for a number of years. I’d keep everything to myself and that stress and anxiety would build and build until the inevitable moments where you feel broken and like all hope is lost. Not fun. I’m sure lots of you can relate to this. It’s easily done. So for me it was a behaviour I unlearned due to circumstance and had to RE-learn. I had to change my stories around it and I had to put myself out there to change the pattern and make sharing ‘safe’ again. If it’s a brand new behaviour for you too it will absolutely feel tricky at first to put yourself out there and say, ‘Hey, can I talk to you, I have some stuff going on.’ The people on the other side create stories too. So this really does work both ways. You might think that your strong friend not reaching out means they’re totally fine when they might not be. You might think the person NOT reaching out to you might be being selfish when actually they have their own stuff going on. So don’t allow the story to take over, ask yourself what else could be going on.  We tend to protect ourselves and assume the worst, but more often than not there’s an explanation and being vulnerable yourself to say, ‘Hey,are you ok?’ instead of going straight to anger, hurt or cutting someone off. There are also moments where we might isolate ourselves. Sometimes it can feel like you’re incredibly lonely, but you also don’t want to talk to or see anyone. If I ever feel like this, like I did recently because there’s still quite the roller coaster going on in my world where it feels like limbo at every turn sometimes, I make a conscious effort to reach out to people who feel safe to me because I know how quickly something can turn around with one conversation. So that’s what I did.  I reached out and said, ‘Hey, I’m struggling a bit at the moment, do you have any time to talk or meet up?’ The trick is to know who your ‘safe’ people are.  It’s easy to find excuses as to why you can’t. When you’re in self preservation mode you’ll always find a really good, rational reason. That’s the trick sometimes…overriding what our unconscious patterns are telling us are good for us vs consciously knowing what’s best for us. In the words of Brene Brown, there’s immense power in vulnerability. You’re 100% allowed human moments! But as with anything, you have to start small and allow the pattern of safety build up in your brain and nervous system. That might be reaching out to one friend. It might be a counsellor or therapist, it might be a free service offered by charities like the Samaritans.  Allow yourself to build up the experiences where being honest and vulnerable with someone helps. The worst thing we can do is allow it to sit there and grow when it doesn’t have to. One conversation has the power to completely shift your mood, your emotions, your perspective.  One conversation can find you a solution when you couldn’t find one. One conversation can make you feel validated. One conversation can help you breathe a sigh of relief or have a much needed release. One conversation can change everything in an instant. One conversation can bring you an opportunity. You just have to be brave and vulnerable and take that first step. One conversation can create new possibilities that weren’t there before. One conversation could get you everything you’ve ever wanted. One conversation can ease your pain. One conversation can show you all the stories you created to fill in the blanks in your head aren’t true. One conversation can bring you closer to someone. I’m sure listening to this you’re thinking of a tonne of conversations you’d like to have and for whatever reason may have stopped yourself. Communication is everything. It really is the key to having what you want.  Yes it won’t always go your way. Yes there might be a little heartbreak or disappointment to contend with from time to time. But you will learn hugely valuable lessons along the way. And be honest with yourself, what’s the alternative?  What is not reaching out or being brave going to get you? Probably not much better than more of the same right? Honesty and communication is a winning combination and it really can just take one conversation to shift everything. Fx

The Power Of One Conversation

Show note links:   Download The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app   Go grab your £20 or $25 discount on your Sensate device: https://www.getsensate.com/fran   Freebies:   Grab your FREE ‘Stressed To Success’ meditation: https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success   Download your guide for How to journal, for the non ‘dear-diary’ type! https://franexcell.com/journaling-101   Grab your free Procrastination Buster workbook https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster   Find out YOUR Enneagram type:https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram    Ways to work with me:   Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app   Enneagram Essentials 90 minute 1:1 &amp; Guide book https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp   For corporate coaching, training and workshops email hello@franexcell.com   Products:   Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude    Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook    Contact:   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!   Email me at hello@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways!   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/   Are You Able To Spot The Metaphors Under Your Nose?   There are powerful metaphors everywhere.    Metaphors have the power to completely shift and change how we see a situation.   Let’s start by defining what a metaphor actually is.    The dictionary defines a metaphor as a way of describing someone or something by showing their similarity with something else.It’s making a point or explaining something by comparing two things that on the surface might not look the same.They can help us connect dots that we aren’t seeing by mapping one experience onto another.   So some common examples might be ‘Time flies when you’re having fun’ or ‘He’s as slow as a snail.’   Metaphors in stories are particularly powerful in helping us understand complex ideas or see how our experience could map across and help us see things in a different way from a more helpful perspective and break down old ways of thinking.   Metaphor is used in so many different healing modalities and therapies, particularly ones that work with language patterns such as hypnotherapy and NLP.   The bottom line is they can be incredibly powerful.  And they are everywhere, if we look for them.    So what’s making me want to talk about metaphors today?   I had my own little live action symbolic metaphor moment that made me stop in my tracks, and lol a little bit.   And I wanted to share it with you because I think it can be applied to so many things and in all honesty, this little moment sparked joy for me.   I’m going to tell you about it and also see how many metaphors I can get into my story about my metaphor ha!   If you’ve been with me a while you know i’ve been going through some big, complicated life changes for the last year.    It’s been a rollercoaster.    I’ve been feeling recently like i’ve been a little bit stuck in groundhog day and the light at the end of the tunnel of my situation has been feeling further and further away with setback after setback.    I’m not complaining…it’s been awful but there’s a lot I'm grateful for and I feel like I'm so close to being able to share all my stories and lessons with you and I for one cannot wait for that day.   Anyhoo.    It’s safe to say I've been in the weeds and often feeling like I'm wading through treacle.   Every day I'd wake up and I'd open my curtains. Nothing new. Nothing really to notice.   I have a few plants on my windowsill.   I’m a serial plant killer so I only allow myself to have practically indestructible plants like succulents and I still manage to over or under water.   I’ve also had a white orchid for a number of years and in all honesty, it had seen better days.   The leaves were yellowing and dry and the once proud stem looked like hay with a dead and dried flower at the end.   I had been told more than once that it was dead and I needed to throw it out.   It didn’t look good.   The other day I opened my curtains as usual, nothing different.   And I notice there’s an entirely new stem, as long as the original one, with 7 buds on!   Every single day I had looked directly at it, this thing that looked pretty much dead and hadn’t even spotted the life and the growth that was right in front of my face and it was about to erupt into beautiful flowers.   How could I have not spotted an entire foot's worth of stem when I'm looking at it every single day?   And I realised, how often am I (or we) doing that?   Seeing something every day, thinking it’s dead or on its last legs but actually in the background it’s growing something new and beautiful?   I know I know, I’m feeling existential but it’s true.   How often do we just run on auto pilot and not notice something incredible right in front of our faces?   How often is something amazing happening and growing in the background when all we’re seeing is the doom and gloom or the pain of what isn’t going right for us.   So what can we take from this glorious little piece of symbolism that brightened my day and created an instant shift in what was going on for me.    Can you be patient?   Can you trust that there are positive and beautiful things happening alongside the pain b?   What growth are you not seeing?   What could be blooming where you’re not paying attention?   The funny thing was, and take from this what you will, literally the day after the discovery of me not spotting an entire foot of new growth and 7 budding flowers on my seemingly dead orchid that I look at every day, there was a huge breakthrough in my own life of something that had been growing very quietly and invisibly in the background of something where on the surface all looked lost.    Keep the faith.   Just keep swimming.   Look for those metaphors.   You got this!   Fx     There are powerful metaphors everywhere.    Metaphors have the power to completely shift and change how we see a situation.   Let’s start by defining what a metaphor actually is.    The dictionary defines a metaphor as a way of describing someone or something by showing their similarity with something else.It’s making a point or explaining something by comparing two things that on the surface might not look the same.They can help us connect dots that we aren’t seeing by mapping one experience onto another.   So some common examples might be ‘Time flies when you’re having fun’ or ‘He’s as slow as a snail.’   Metaphors in stories are particularly powerful in helping us understand complex ideas or see how our experience could map across and help us see things in a different way from a more helpful perspective and break down old ways of thinking.   Metaphor is used in so many different healing modalities and therapies, particularly ones that work with language patterns such as hypnotherapy and NLP.   The bottom line is they can be incredibly powerful.  And they are everywhere, if we look for them.    So what’s making me want to talk about metaphors today?   I had my own little live action symbolic metaphor moment that made me stop in my tracks, and lol a little bit.   And I wanted to share it with you because I think it can be applied to so many things and in all honesty, this little moment sparked joy for me.   I’m going to tell you about it and also see how many metaphors I can get into my story about my metaphor ha!   If you’ve been with me a while you know i’ve been going through some big, complicated life changes for the last year.    It’s been a rollercoaster.    I’ve been feeling recently like i’ve been a little bit stuck in groundhog day and the light at the end of the tunnel of my situation has been feeling further and further away with setback after setback.    I’m not complaining…it’s been awful but there’s a lot I'm grateful for and I feel like I'm so close to being able to share all my stories and lessons with you and I for one cannot wait for that day.   Anyhoo.    It’s safe to say I've been in the weeds and often feeling like I'm wading through treacle.   Every day I'd wake up and I'd open my curtains. Nothing new. Nothing really to notice.   I have a few plants on my windowsill.   I’m a serial plant killer so I only allow myself to have practically indestructible plants like succulents and I still manage to over or under water.   I’ve also had a white orchid for a number of years and in all honesty, it had seen better days.   The leaves were yellowing and dry and the once proud stem looked like hay with a dead and dried flower at the end.   I had been told more than once that it was dead and I needed to throw it out.   It didn’t look good.   The other day I opened my curtains as usual, nothing different.   And I notice there’s an entirely new stem, as long as the original one, with 7 buds on!   Every single day I had looked directly at it, this thing that looked pretty much dead and hadn’t even spotted the life and the growth that was right in front of my face and it was about to erupt into beautiful flowers.   How could I have not spotted an entire foot's worth of stem when I'm looking at it every single day?   And I realised, how often am I (or we) doing that?   Seeing something every day, thinking it’s dead or on its last legs but actually in the background it’s growing something new and beautiful?   I know I know, I’m feeling existential but it’s true.   How often do we just run on auto pilot and not notice something incredible right in front of our faces?   How often is something amazing happening and growing in the background when all we’re seeing is the doom and gloom or the pain of what isn’t going right for us.   So what can we take from this glorious little piece of symbolism that brightened my day and created an instant shift in what was going on for me.    Can you be patient?   Can you trust that there are positive and beautiful things happening alongside the pain b?   What growth are you not seeing?   What could be blooming where you’re not paying attention?   The funny thing was, and take from this what you will, literally the day after the discovery of me not spotting an entire foot of new growth and 7 budding flowers on my seemingly dead orchid that I look at every day, there was a huge breakthrough in my own life of something that had been growing very quietly and invisibly in the background of something where on the surface all looked lost.    Keep the faith.   Just keep swimming.   Look for those metaphors.   You got this!   Fx

Show note links: <ul> <li> Download The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month <a href="https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app</a> </li> <li> Go grab your £20 or $25 discount on your Sensate device: <a href="https://www.getsensate.com/fran" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.getsensate.com/fran</a> </li> </ul> Freebies: <ul> <li> Grab your FREE ‘Stressed To Success’ meditation: <a href="https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success</a> </li> <li> Download your guide for How to journal, for the non ‘dear-diary’ type! <a href="https://franexcell.com/journaling-101" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/journaling-101</a> </li> <li> Grab your free Procrastination Buster workbook <a href="https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster</a> </li> <li> Find out YOUR Enneagram type:<a href="https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram</a> </li> </ul> Ways to work with me: <ul> <li> Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month <a href="https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app</a> </li> <li> Enneagram Essentials 90 minute 1:1 &amp; Guide book <a href="https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp</a> </li> <li> For corporate coaching, training and workshops email hello@franexcell.com </li> </ul> Products: <ul> <li> Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:<a href="https://bit.ly/365daygratitude" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/365daygratitude</a> </li> <li> Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:<a href="https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook</a> </li> </ul> Contact: <ul> <li> Make sure you’re following me on Instagram <a href="https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/</a> and tag me into your key takeaways! </li> <li> Email me at hello<a>@franexcell.com</a> with any questions or take aways! </li> <li> For more, head over to: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.franexcell.com/</a> </li> </ul> Are You Able To Spot The Metaphors Under Your Nose? There are powerful metaphors everywhere.  Metaphors have the power to completely shift and change how we see a situation. Let’s start by defining what a metaphor actually is.  The dictionary defines a metaphor as a way of describing someone or something by showing their similarity with something <a href="http://else.It" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">else.It</a>’s making a point or explaining something by comparing two things that on the surface might not look the same.They can help us connect dots that we aren’t seeing by mapping one experience onto another. So some common examples might be ‘Time flies when you’re having fun’ or ‘He’s as slow as a snail.’ Metaphors in stories are particularly powerful in helping us understand complex ideas or see how our experience could map across and help us see things in a different way from a more helpful perspective and break down old ways of thinking. Metaphor is used in so many different healing modalities and therapies, particularly ones that work with language patterns such as hypnotherapy and NLP. The bottom line is they can be incredibly powerful.  And they are everywhere, if we look for them.  So what’s making me want to talk about metaphors today? I had my own little live action symbolic metaphor moment that made me stop in my tracks, and lol a little bit. And I wanted to share it with you because I think it can be applied to so many things and in all honesty, this little moment sparked joy for me. I’m going to tell you about it and also see how many metaphors I can get into my story about my metaphor ha! If you’ve been with me a while you know i’ve been going through some big, complicated life changes for the last year.  It’s been a rollercoaster.  I’ve been feeling recently like i’ve been a little bit stuck in groundhog day and the light at the end of the tunnel of my situation has been feeling further and further away with setback after setback.  I’m not complaining…it’s been awful but there’s a lot I'm grateful for and I feel like I'm so close to being able to share all my stories and lessons with you and I for one cannot wait for that day. Anyhoo.  It’s safe to say I've been in the weeds and often feeling like I'm wading through treacle. Every day I'd wake up and I'd open my curtains. Nothing new. Nothing really to notice. I have a few plants on my windowsill. I’m a serial plant killer so I only allow myself to have practically indestructible plants like succulents and I still manage to over or under water. I’ve also had a white orchid for a number of years and in all honesty, it had seen better days. The leaves were yellowing and dry and the once proud stem looked like hay with a dead and dried flower at the end. I had been told more than once that it was dead and I needed to throw it out. It didn’t look good. The other day I opened my curtains as usual, nothing different. And I notice there’s an entirely new stem, as long as the original one, with 7 buds on! Every single day I had looked directly at it, this thing that looked pretty much dead and hadn’t even spotted the life and the growth that was right in front of my face and it was about to erupt into beautiful flowers. How could I have not spotted an entire foot's worth of stem when I'm looking at it every single day? And I realised, how often am I (or we) doing that? Seeing something every day, thinking it’s dead or on its last legs but actually in the background it’s growing something new and beautiful? I know I know, I’m feeling existential but it’s true. How often do we just run on auto pilot and not notice something incredible right in front of our faces? How often is something amazing happening and growing in the background when all we’re seeing is the doom and gloom or the pain of what isn’t going right for us. So what can we take from this glorious little piece of symbolism that brightened my day and created an instant shift in what was going on for me.  Can you be patient? Can you trust that there are positive and beautiful things happening alongside the pain b? What growth are you not seeing? What could be blooming where you’re not paying attention? The funny thing was, and take from this what you will, literally the day after the discovery of me not spotting an entire foot of new growth and 7 budding flowers on my seemingly dead orchid that I look at every day, there was a huge breakthrough in my own life of something that had been growing very quietly and invisibly in the background of something where on the surface all looked lost.  Keep the faith. Just keep swimming. Look for those metaphors. You got this! Fx There are powerful metaphors everywhere.  Metaphors have the power to completely shift and change how we see a situation. Let’s start by defining what a metaphor actually is.  The dictionary defines a metaphor as a way of describing someone or something by showing their similarity with something <a href="http://else.It" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">else.It</a>’s making a point or explaining something by comparing two things that on the surface might not look the same.They can help us connect dots that we aren’t seeing by mapping one experience onto another. So some common examples might be ‘Time flies when you’re having fun’ or ‘He’s as slow as a snail.’ Metaphors in stories are particularly powerful in helping us understand complex ideas or see how our experience could map across and help us see things in a different way from a more helpful perspective and break down old ways of thinking. Metaphor is used in so many different healing modalities and therapies, particularly ones that work with language patterns such as hypnotherapy and NLP. The bottom line is they can be incredibly powerful.  And they are everywhere, if we look for them.  So what’s making me want to talk about metaphors today? I had my own little live action symbolic metaphor moment that made me stop in my tracks, and lol a little bit. And I wanted to share it with you because I think it can be applied to so many things and in all honesty, this little moment sparked joy for me. I’m going to tell you about it and also see how many metaphors I can get into my story about my metaphor ha! If you’ve been with me a while you know i’ve been going through some big, complicated life changes for the last year.  It’s been a rollercoaster.  I’ve been feeling recently like i’ve been a little bit stuck in groundhog day and the light at the end of the tunnel of my situation has been feeling further and further away with setback after setback.  I’m not complaining…it’s been awful but there’s a lot I'm grateful for and I feel like I'm so close to being able to share all my stories and lessons with you and I for one cannot wait for that day. Anyhoo.  It’s safe to say I've been in the weeds and often feeling like I'm wading through treacle. Every day I'd wake up and I'd open my curtains. Nothing new. Nothing really to notice. I have a few plants on my windowsill. I’m a serial plant killer so I only allow myself to have practically indestructible plants like succulents and I still manage to over or under water. I’ve also had a white orchid for a number of years and in all honesty, it had seen better days. The leaves were yellowing and dry and the once proud stem looked like hay with a dead and dried flower at the end. I had been told more than once that it was dead and I needed to throw it out. It didn’t look good. The other day I opened my curtains as usual, nothing different. And I notice there’s an entirely new stem, as long as the original one, with 7 buds on! Every single day I had looked directly at it, this thing that looked pretty much dead and hadn’t even spotted the life and the growth that was right in front of my face and it was about to erupt into beautiful flowers. How could I have not spotted an entire foot's worth of stem when I'm looking at it every single day? And I realised, how often am I (or we) doing that? Seeing something every day, thinking it’s dead or on its last legs but actually in the background it’s growing something new and beautiful? I know I know, I’m feeling existential but it’s true. How often do we just run on auto pilot and not notice something incredible right in front of our faces? How often is something amazing happening and growing in the background when all we’re seeing is the doom and gloom or the pain of what isn’t going right for us. So what can we take from this glorious little piece of symbolism that brightened my day and created an instant shift in what was going on for me.  Can you be patient? Can you trust that there are positive and beautiful things happening alongside the pain b? What growth are you not seeing? What could be blooming where you’re not paying attention? The funny thing was, and take from this what you will, literally the day after the discovery of me not spotting an entire foot of new growth and 7 budding flowers on my seemingly dead orchid that I look at every day, there was a huge breakthrough in my own life of something that had been growing very quietly and invisibly in the background of something where on the surface all looked lost.  Keep the faith. Just keep swimming. Look for those metaphors. You got this! Fx

Are You Able To Spot The Metaphors Under Your Nose?

Show note links:   Download The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app   Go grab your £20 or $25 discount on your Sensate device: https://www.getsensate.com/fran   Freebies:   Grab your FREE ‘Stressed To Success’ meditation: https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success   Download your guide for How to journal, for the non ‘dear-diary’ type! https://franexcell.com/journaling-101   Grab your free Procrastination Buster workbook https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster   Find out YOUR Enneagram type:https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram    Ways to work with me:   Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app   Enneagram Essentials 90 minute 1:1 &amp; Guide book https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp   For corporate coaching, training and workshops email hello@franexcell.com   Products:   Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude    Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook    Contact:   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!   Email me at hello@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways!   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/   How To Handle Disappointment   Disappointment is something we have all and will all experience at various points in our lives.    Of course there’s a spectrum of disappointment that can go from not being able to find your favourite snack in the shop to hearing bad news of varying degrees, disappointment from other people, situations and even disappointment in yourself.    It can be that relationship you were hopeful about not working out.    It can be getting a no for something you really wanted.   I don’t need to explain disappointment to you at all. We’ve all been in the trenches.   But I’m still kind of going to anyway!   The dictionary defines disappointment as sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfilment of one's hopes or expectations.   I think we can all feel that one!   One of the things I have noticed throughout my years of learning about why we do the things that we do, why we react the way we react and feel the way we feel, how our brain and nervous system contributes to that and how we can learn to work WITH that information, is how much my ability to handle disappointment has changed.    I’m always talking about how feeling our feelings is so important and how what we’re aiming for when we ‘do the work’ on ourselves isn’t to ‘get rid’ of ‘negative’ emotions. Or to avoid them.    But almost learn to befriend them and see them in a different light.   To see negative emotions as part of the human existence that contributes to the sweet sweet polarity of experiencing all the positive emotions too.   To understand them more so we don’t fear them or judge ourselves for having feelings and emotions that make perfect sense!   Disappointment is one of those inevitable emotions.   Can you imagine a world when you were never disappointed…ever?   You might think it would be nice, maybe it would be, but personally it would take some magic out of life for me.   Let me explain why I think that way.   Sometimes you can think something is right for you, you want it, you don’t get it, it stings.   We’ve all been there.   However, these moments tend to be the ones that lead you to something even better.  Or in a totally new direction that’s better for you. Or where you learn an incredibly valuable lesson.   It’s always been the case for me.    The last year for me has been full to the brim of disappointments for me.    AND it’s also been full of incredible experiences, deaths and rebirths of my ego aplenty, lots of twists, turns and redirects and as much as it might suck sometimes i’m totally trusting the direction and 100% know that there’s so much beauty, positivity, happiness, joy and all the other good stuff just on the other side.    When it comes to handling disappointment there’s two things to consider.    The short term. What do we actually do in the moment of disappointment?   And there’s the long term. This is what we can do to totally change and shift the way we see and respond to disappointment.    You’ll be unsurprised that it requires both cognitive and somatic angles.    So the thinking stuff and the working with the body stuff!   You’ll also be unsurprised that it involves self awareness and self reflection.    I won’t spend too much on the long term things that will help all your future disappointments because I bang this drum all the time.    You need to be focusing on the things that work with your nervous system to create more ‘flexibility’   If you’d like a deep dive into this please do listen to my interview with Stefan Chmelik, founder of the Sensate.    The more you work to create balance within your nervous system the less reactive you are and the quicker your recovery is…aka…more resilience!    Focusing on breathing techniques like Heartmath, using devices like the Sensate (there’s a discount code in the show notes)meditation, mindfulness, EFT, diet, exercise, sleep. All the key essentials.    So let’s talk short term, you’re in the thick of the disappointment.    First is to of course allow it to be there without judgement. It makes sense that the disappointment would be there. You get to feel it, often disappointment can come with grief too and it’s important that you allow yourself to feel what’s there. (Skip to the episode on feeling your feelings if you need help with understanding some of the tools that can help)   Whether that’s on your own if you feel you have the capacity, with a friend or loved one or a licensed professional. Surround yourself with good people.    You’ll find when you can do that, you’ll be able to take a step back and see the situation more clearly.    You can analyse how you were feeling about that thing happening or not happening in the first place. Did you have real clarity in your mind   Be kind and have self compassion.    It’s always worth checking your expectations vs reality. Was it a realistic outcome?  Were you rigid in your thinking?  By that I mean, this or NOTHING else thinking.    The next stage is, what do you want to do about it?  What do you want your next step to be?  Make sure you don’t stay ruminating on it for any longer than is necessary and you take action to move forwards. Whatever you decide for that to look like.   Can you go as far as allowing yourself to be excited about the redirect?  If you have beliefs in any sort of ‘higher power’ getting involved, can you trust it?   What could you learn from it?   Is it the kind of disappointment where it would be incredibly helpful to talk to a professional about it?    Can you get yourself back in the game and be open to disappointment knowing that you’re going to be absolutely fine and any future redirects could lead to something positive?   That’s often the hardest thing with disappointment, how we’ll try and protect ourselves from it happening again.    Can you be brave and stay open?     Sometimes hard things happen, and that’s ok. I always love the phrase ‘it’ll be ok in the end, if it’s not ok, it’s not the end’ Kind of says it all really.    Fx

Show note links: <ul> <li> Download The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month <a href="https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app</a> </li> <li> Go grab your £20 or $25 discount on your Sensate device: <a href="https://www.getsensate.com/fran" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.getsensate.com/fran</a> </li> </ul> Freebies: <ul> <li> Grab your FREE ‘Stressed To Success’ meditation: <a href="https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success</a> </li> <li> Download your guide for How to journal, for the non ‘dear-diary’ type! <a href="https://franexcell.com/journaling-101" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/journaling-101</a> </li> <li> Grab your free Procrastination Buster workbook <a href="https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster</a> </li> <li> Find out YOUR Enneagram type:<a href="https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram</a> </li> </ul> Ways to work with me: <ul> <li> Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month <a href="https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app</a> </li> <li> Enneagram Essentials 90 minute 1:1 &amp; Guide book <a href="https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp</a> </li> <li> For corporate coaching, training and workshops email hello@franexcell.com </li> </ul> Products: <ul> <li> Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:<a href="https://bit.ly/365daygratitude" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/365daygratitude</a> </li> <li> Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:<a href="https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook</a> </li> </ul> Contact: <ul> <li> Make sure you’re following me on Instagram <a href="https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/</a> and tag me into your key takeaways! </li> <li> Email me at hello<a>@franexcell.com</a> with any questions or take aways! </li> <li> For more, head over to: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.franexcell.com/</a> </li> </ul> How To Handle Disappointment Disappointment is something we have all and will all experience at various points in our lives.  Of course there’s a spectrum of disappointment that can go from not being able to find your favourite snack in the shop to hearing bad news of varying degrees, disappointment from other people, situations and even disappointment in yourself.  It can be that relationship you were hopeful about not working out.  It can be getting a no for something you really wanted. I don’t need to explain disappointment to you at all. We’ve all been in the trenches. But I’m still kind of going to anyway! The dictionary defines disappointment as sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfilment of one's hopes or expectations. I think we can all feel that one! One of the things I have noticed throughout my years of learning about why we do the things that we do, why we react the way we react and feel the way we feel, how our brain and nervous system contributes to that and how we can learn to work WITH that information, is how much my ability to handle disappointment has changed.  I’m always talking about how feeling our feelings is so important and how what we’re aiming for when we ‘do the work’ on ourselves isn’t to ‘get rid’ of ‘negative’ emotions. Or to avoid them.  But almost learn to befriend them and see them in a different light. To see negative emotions as part of the human existence that contributes to the sweet sweet polarity of experiencing all the positive emotions too. To understand them more so we don’t fear them or judge ourselves for having feelings and emotions that make perfect sense! Disappointment is one of those inevitable emotions. Can you imagine a world when you were never disappointed…ever? You might think it would be nice, maybe it would be, but personally it would take some magic out of life for me. Let me explain why I think that way. Sometimes you can think something is right for you, you want it, you don’t get it, it stings. We’ve all been there. However, these moments tend to be the ones that lead you to something even better.  Or in a totally new direction that’s better for you. Or where you learn an incredibly valuable lesson. It’s always been the case for me.  The last year for me has been full to the brim of disappointments for me.  AND it’s also been full of incredible experiences, deaths and rebirths of my ego aplenty, lots of twists, turns and redirects and as much as it might suck sometimes i’m totally trusting the direction and 100% know that there’s so much beauty, positivity, happiness, joy and all the other good stuff just on the other side.  When it comes to handling disappointment there’s two things to consider.  The short term. What do we actually do in the moment of disappointment? And there’s the long term. This is what we can do to totally change and shift the way we see and respond to disappointment.  You’ll be unsurprised that it requires both cognitive and somatic angles.  So the thinking stuff and the working with the body stuff! You’ll also be unsurprised that it involves self awareness and self reflection.  I won’t spend too much on the long term things that will help all your future disappointments because I bang this drum all the time.  You need to be focusing on the things that work with your nervous system to create more ‘flexibility’ If you’d like a deep dive into this please do listen to my interview with Stefan Chmelik, founder of the Sensate.  The more you work to create balance within your nervous system the less reactive you are and the quicker your recovery is…aka…more resilience!  Focusing on breathing techniques like Heartmath, using devices like the Sensate (there’s a discount code in the show notes)meditation, mindfulness, EFT, diet, exercise, sleep. All the key essentials.  So let’s talk short term, you’re in the thick of the disappointment.  First is to of course allow it to be there without judgement. It makes sense that the disappointment would be there. You get to feel it, often disappointment can come with grief too and it’s important that you allow yourself to feel what’s there. (Skip to the episode on feeling your feelings if you need help with understanding some of the tools that can help) Whether that’s on your own if you feel you have the capacity, with a friend or loved one or a licensed professional. Surround yourself with good people.  You’ll find when you can do that, you’ll be able to take a step back and see the situation more clearly.  You can analyse how you were feeling about that thing happening or not happening in the first place. Did you have real clarity in your mind Be kind and have self compassion.  It’s always worth checking your expectations vs reality. Was it a realistic outcome?  Were you rigid in your thinking?  By that I mean, this or NOTHING else thinking.  The next stage is, what do you want to do about it?  What do you want your next step to be?  Make sure you don’t stay ruminating on it for any longer than is necessary and you take action to move forwards. Whatever you decide for that to look like. Can you go as far as allowing yourself to be excited about the redirect?  If you have beliefs in any sort of ‘higher power’ getting involved, can you trust it? What could you learn from it? Is it the kind of disappointment where it would be incredibly helpful to talk to a professional about it?  Can you get yourself back in the game and be open to disappointment knowing that you’re going to be absolutely fine and any future redirects could lead to something positive? That’s often the hardest thing with disappointment, how we’ll try and protect ourselves from it happening again.  Can you be brave and stay open?   Sometimes hard things happen, and that’s ok. I always love the phrase ‘it’ll be ok in the end, if it’s not ok, it’s not the end’ Kind of says it all really.  Fx

How To Handle Disappointment

Show note links:   Download The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app   Freebies:   Grab your FREE ‘Stressed To Success’ meditation: https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success   Download your guide for How to journal, for the non ‘dear-diary’ type! https://franexcell.com/journaling-101   Grab your free Procrastination Buster workbook https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster   Find out YOUR Enneagram type:https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram    Ways to work with me:   Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app   Enneagram Essentials 90 minute 1:1 &amp; Guide book https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp   For corporate coaching, training and workshops email hello@franexcell.com   Products:   Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude    Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook    Contact:   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!   Email me at hello@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways!   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/   Navigating A Career Change When You’re ‘Older’   It can feel tricky when you’ve worked hard to forge a career, you’ve invested time and energy into it, you’ve climbed the ranks.   Then you realise you just really don’t want to do it any more.   Urgh.   Now what.   I do believe this very thing is what creates a lot of the solo business owners we have now.   This comes again from a listener question about navigating this specifically in your late thirties.    And here’s the kicker. If you’re in your late thirties it’s highly likely that what was instilled in you at school was that you decide what you’re going to do for your whole life aged 16-18.   You get the grades, perhaps the degree, you get the job and then you stay there and work your way up.   This is a broken model because the amount we change as humans throughout our lifetime is huge.   You cannot and should not be expected to stick in the same career for your whole life.    It doesn’t take into account any of the nuance of human existence.   Your priorities will change, your values will likely change, What’s most important to you will change, what you actually want to get out of and feel in a career, will change (whether that’s a job or a business, the same applies) YOU will change!   The issue is our beliefs and fears around that change. As usual so much of it comes down to our habitual thinking patterns and belief systems.   For example, if you believe it would be intolerable to have a lower salary or job title…you’ll find it harder.   If you feel that starting at the bottom comes with shame and a feeling of failure, you’ll struggle to do it.   But if you can shift the way you’re looking at it all, guess what happens?  It changes what you see.   It’s also not inevitable that changing careers will always mean a step down or change in income. Transferable skills have a lot going for them!   The other issue is that the majority of women will only apply for a job if they tick 100% of the boxes of a job description, whereas Men will give it a go if they only tick a few.    It’s like any change really. What are you making it mean about you?   What can you not tolerate about it?   You may have another 35 years of working ahead of you. You have to be happy doing it, or it has to GIVE you something in return.   You can retrain if you want to.   You can go to or back to university if you want to. A gorgeous friend of mine, Chloe Burroughs, starter her new career and it’s teaching non-traditional students. She literally created a career change to help other, older students change theirs.    If that’s not proof it’s possible I don’t know what is.   Of course there are often other factors at play. If you’re in your late thirties, as my lovely question asker is, there are usually a lot more responsibilities.   There are potentially mortgages and bills.   BUT…i’m a big fan of asking ‘how can i?’.  Thinking ok, this isn’t ideal but my happiness and wellbeing are important so what would need to happen and what could happen that means i’d have more flexibility in my finances to change careers.    Of course, this is only if you need that. It’s absolutely possible to do it without having to take a big dip.   Asking yourself and being really clear on what is an essential need vs a want.   Asking yourself and challenging yourself around what would really make you happy.   Asking yourself what assumptions you might be making is also helpful.    It’s a common belief that you need to start at the bottom. You might remember what it was like when you were first starting out. But it is NOT the same situation. Whether you’re learning and starting a new business or a new career you have SO many transferable skills under your belt, it’s totally different.    People in their thirties are actually what Gallup calls the job hopping generation.    Think about who you could talk to in your network who might be a way in.    Think about your passions.   Think about what you really want your ideal day to look like.   How do you want to feel in your career?   Speak to a careers advisor to see if there are careers based on your skills, experience and passions that you might not even know exist!   There are so many avenues to go down and it’s FAR more prevalent than you think.    The biggest thing I see getting in the way is the beliefs around it ‘meaning’ you’re a failure. Or the feeling that you will be judged as not as successful.    Fear of change and risk.    You need to recognise that it could be a complete identity shift in a lot of ways so you’re ego is going to flare up big time.   If you’re thinking you’re too old to change I urge you to seek the many, MANY stories of people who’ve totally started over and thrived in their thirties, forties, fifties and way beyond.    Life it too short to believe you have to stay in an unhappy situation. That leads to so many more problems in the long run. Not to mention the toll it takes on you mentally or physically.   Age ain’t nothin but a number baby! Don’t believe the hype from society. Keep making decisions for you simply as a human being who deserves to be happy and fulfilled.   It’s never too late to make a different choice.   Fx

Show note links: <ul> <li> Download The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month <a href="https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app</a> </li> </ul> Freebies: <ul> <li> Grab your FREE ‘Stressed To Success’ meditation: <a href="https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success</a> </li> <li> Download your guide for How to journal, for the non ‘dear-diary’ type! <a href="https://franexcell.com/journaling-101" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/journaling-101</a> </li> <li> Grab your free Procrastination Buster workbook <a href="https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster</a> </li> <li> Find out YOUR Enneagram type:<a href="https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram</a> </li> </ul> Ways to work with me: <ul> <li> Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month <a href="https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app</a> </li> <li> Enneagram Essentials 90 minute 1:1 &amp; Guide book <a href="https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp</a> </li> <li> For corporate coaching, training and workshops email hello@franexcell.com </li> </ul> Products: <ul> <li> Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:<a href="https://bit.ly/365daygratitude" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/365daygratitude</a> </li> <li> Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:<a href="https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook</a> </li> </ul> Contact: <ul> <li> Make sure you’re following me on Instagram <a href="https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/</a> and tag me into your key takeaways! </li> <li> Email me at hello<a>@franexcell.com</a> with any questions or take aways! </li> <li> For more, head over to: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.franexcell.com/</a> </li> </ul> Navigating A Career Change When You’re ‘Older’ It can feel tricky when you’ve worked hard to forge a career, you’ve invested time and energy into it, you’ve climbed the ranks. Then you realise you just really don’t want to do it any more. Urgh. Now what. I do believe this very thing is what creates a lot of the solo business owners we have now. This comes again from a listener question about navigating this specifically in your late thirties.  And here’s the kicker. If you’re in your late thirties it’s highly likely that what was instilled in you at school was that you decide what you’re going to do for your whole life aged 16-18. You get the grades, perhaps the degree, you get the job and then you stay there and work your way up. This is a broken model because the amount we change as humans throughout our lifetime is huge. You cannot and should not be expected to stick in the same career for your whole life.  It doesn’t take into account any of the nuance of human existence. Your priorities will change, your values will likely change, What’s most important to you will change, what you actually want to get out of and feel in a career, will change (whether that’s a job or a business, the same applies) YOU will change! The issue is our beliefs and fears around that change. As usual so much of it comes down to our habitual thinking patterns and belief systems. For example, if you believe it would be intolerable to have a lower salary or job title…you’ll find it harder. If you feel that starting at the bottom comes with shame and a feeling of failure, you’ll struggle to do it. But if you can shift the way you’re looking at it all, guess what happens?  It changes what you see. It’s also not inevitable that changing careers will always mean a step down or change in income. Transferable skills have a lot going for them! The other issue is that the majority of women will only apply for a job if they tick 100% of the boxes of a job description, whereas Men will give it a go if they only tick a few.  It’s like any change really. What are you making it mean about you? What can you not tolerate about it? You may have another 35 years of working ahead of you. You have to be happy doing it, or it has to GIVE you something in return. You can retrain if you want to. You can go to or back to university if you want to. A gorgeous friend of mine, Chloe Burroughs, starter her new career and it’s teaching non-traditional students. She literally created a career change to help other, older students change theirs.  If that’s not proof it’s possible I don’t know what is. Of course there are often other factors at play. If you’re in your late thirties, as my lovely question asker is, there are usually a lot more responsibilities. There are potentially mortgages and bills. BUT…i’m a big fan of asking ‘how can i?’.  Thinking ok, this isn’t ideal but my happiness and wellbeing are important so what would need to happen and what could happen that means i’d have more flexibility in my finances to change careers.  Of course, this is only if you need that. It’s absolutely possible to do it without having to take a big dip. Asking yourself and being really clear on what is an essential need vs a want. Asking yourself and challenging yourself around what would really make you happy. Asking yourself what assumptions you might be making is also helpful.  It’s a common belief that you need to start at the bottom. You might remember what it was like when you were first starting out. But it is NOT the same situation. Whether you’re learning and starting a new business or a new career you have SO many transferable skills under your belt, it’s totally different.  People in their thirties are actually what Gallup calls the job hopping generation.  Think about who you could talk to in your network who might be a way in.  Think about your passions. Think about what you really want your ideal day to look like. How do you want to feel in your career? Speak to a careers advisor to see if there are careers based on your skills, experience and passions that you might not even know exist! There are so many avenues to go down and it’s FAR more prevalent than you think.  The biggest thing I see getting in the way is the beliefs around it ‘meaning’ you’re a failure. Or the feeling that you will be judged as not as successful.  Fear of change and risk.  You need to recognise that it could be a complete identity shift in a lot of ways so you’re ego is going to flare up big time. If you’re thinking you’re too old to change I urge you to seek the many, MANY stories of people who’ve totally started over and thrived in their thirties, forties, fifties and way beyond.  Life it too short to believe you have to stay in an unhappy situation. That leads to so many more problems in the long run. Not to mention the toll it takes on you mentally or physically. Age ain’t nothin but a number baby! Don’t believe the hype from society. Keep making decisions for you simply as a human being who deserves to be happy and fulfilled. It’s never too late to make a different choice. Fx

How To Navigate A Career Change When You're 'Older' 

Show note links:   Download The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app   Freebies:   Grab your FREE ‘Stressed To Success’ meditation: https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success   Download your guide for How to journal, for the non ‘dear-diary’ type! https://franexcell.com/journaling-101   Grab your free Procrastination Buster workbook https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster   Find out YOUR Enneagram type:https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram    Ways to work with me:   Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app   Enneagram Essentials 90 minute 1:1 &amp; Guide book https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp   For corporate coaching, training and workshops email hello@franexcell.com   Products:   Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude    Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook    Contact:   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!   Email me at hello@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways!   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/   How Do You ‘Lean Into’ Your Emotions?   You’ve probably heard me talk about how leaning INTO rather than avoiding your emotions is incredibly beneficial and important.   But how do you actually do that?   What does it look like in practice?   This episode comes from a question from a lovely listener on exactly this so I thought I'd dig a little bit deeper with you today.   It’s important to understand that, as with most things, leaning into your emotions is a skill you can learn.    So the first thing to understand is our emotions aren’t really the issue at all.   The issue is our own judgement of our emotions.   Labelling some emotions as ‘good’ and some as ‘bad’ is one of the ways we do this.   The beliefs we have around what it means if we feel things like sadness, anxiety, depression and what we make it mean about us.   Because the reality is, the more you avoid and suppress them, the louder they get.   Perhaps you’ve experienced that before?   Much of this is a learned response from childhood. It might have been that people in a position of authority didn’t know how to handle your big emotions and you were made to suppress them, or even told off for having them, making them be seen as undesirable, inconvenient and leading to not being accepted.    Leaning into your emotions is the very thing that enables them to move through your body and be processed as they should be within a few minutes, rather than still ruminating on them hours, days, weeks or even years later.    So it’s a good skill to learn right?!   So what does it actually mean when we say to lean into your emotions?   Leaning into your emotions means not suppressing or avoiding.     It means really allowing yourself to feel what’s there, without judgement.    It means being able to take a step back, observe and allow.   It means bringing in self-compassion in moments of big emotion.   It means acknowledging that all emotions are part of the human experience.    It means being able to not be consumed by them and decode them as you feel them and allow them to be there.   This is when they move through the body.   An emotion itself only lasts approximately 90 seconds but it’s all the other ‘stuff’ we put on top of that physiological feeling.   If you can stop judging your emotions and making them good, bad, right or wrong and feeling like we should only feel certain emotions and not others…that’s when the magic happens and your emotions no longer control you.   BUT, we have to learn to feel safe expressing our emotions healthily. You might want to do this with a professional so you have a safe space and assistance.    You might feel comfortable doing this on your own or with a trusted friend. It really is up to you.  Healing happens in relationship so I would always recommend working with someone else in the beginning.   You’ll find it soon becomes second nature and you’re able to feel far more neutral about what you might previously have perceived as ‘negative’.   It’s not about being consumed by your emotions, it’s letting them be there with curiosity.    Again, what does that mean?!     It means being able to observe what’s going on for you.     What’s going on in your thoughts and what’s going on in your body.    Can you name the emotion?     If so, how do you know that’s what it is?  What are the characteristics?   Where do you feel it in your body?    How are you expressing it outwardly to others?   What do you notice about your behaviour and any urges that come up when you either have, or try to avoid and suppress emotions?   For many people it might look like numbing with social media scrolling, food, drink or shopping for example.   Noticing this is a big key to helping you stop avoiding them in the future.    If you can become consciously aware of your own patterns you are able to override them far more easily, meaning you can interrupt and CHANGE the pattern, recode and rewire your brain and nervous system.   Learning emotional regulation tools to help the process of an emotion moving through your body is incredibly helpful.    For me whenever I experience big emotions my personal favourite is a somatic tool, EFT, otherwise known as tapping.    Think of it like acupuncture without the needles where you’re tapping on some key meridian points on your face and body.    It allows the emotion to come up and be processed. It might take a few rounds but you should notice feeling calmer and more regulated.   Reframing negative emotions to be helpful is…well….helpful!    Acknowledging that they have a purpose and a reason for being there and that they make perfect sense can be a game changer.    For example, anxiety is a threat response. In some situations it’s a helpful alert system. Unfortunately for many of us it’s just got wildly out of control.   Sadness can be a cue to people around you for support.    All the usual suspects I talk about a lot are also incredibly helpful in getting you to lean into your emotions and creating that acceptance and allowing for curiosity over judgement.    Journaling, HeartMath or other kinds of breathwork, movement, mindfulness.   Many of these are in The Positive Pants Toolkit too.     So much of life is almost like learning to dance with your emotions.    Not seeing them as an enemy or yourself as a failure for having them.   It’s all part of the beautiful human existence and polarity.    It’s about gratitude.   It sounds so counterintuitive that allowing yourself to ACTUALLY feel your emotions is the very thing that causes more balance, peace, calm.   Talking from my own experience of learning this little dance it’s incredibly freeing.    Like I've said 1000 times before.    It doesn’t mean I don’t have emotions, it means I don’t judge them or myself and they move on so much more quickly and I can find my peace again.   Calm in the chaos.    You just might not have learned it yet, but once you see the shifts and changes happening it’ll become second nature to sit with those emotions and let them move through you.    I hope this helps!   Fx

Show note links: <ul> <li> Download The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month <a href="https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app</a> </li> </ul> Freebies: <ul> <li> Grab your FREE ‘Stressed To Success’ meditation: <a href="https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success</a> </li> <li> Download your guide for How to journal, for the non ‘dear-diary’ type! <a href="https://franexcell.com/journaling-101" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/journaling-101</a> </li> <li> Grab your free Procrastination Buster workbook <a href="https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster</a> </li> <li> Find out YOUR Enneagram type:<a href="https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram</a> </li> </ul> Ways to work with me: <ul> <li> Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month <a href="https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app</a> </li> <li> Enneagram Essentials 90 minute 1:1 &amp; Guide book <a href="https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp</a> </li> <li> For corporate coaching, training and workshops email hello@franexcell.com </li> </ul> Products: <ul> <li> Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:<a href="https://bit.ly/365daygratitude" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/365daygratitude</a> </li> <li> Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:<a href="https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook</a> </li> </ul> Contact: <ul> <li> Make sure you’re following me on Instagram <a href="https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/</a> and tag me into your key takeaways! </li> <li> Email me at hello<a>@franexcell.com</a> with any questions or take aways! </li> <li> For more, head over to: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.franexcell.com/</a> </li> </ul> How Do You ‘Lean Into’ Your Emotions? You’ve probably heard me talk about how leaning INTO rather than avoiding your emotions is incredibly beneficial and important. But how do you actually do that? What does it look like in practice? This episode comes from a question from a lovely listener on exactly this so I thought I'd dig a little bit deeper with you today. It’s important to understand that, as with most things, leaning into your emotions is a skill you can learn.  So the first thing to understand is our emotions aren’t really the issue at all. The issue is our own judgement of our emotions. Labelling some emotions as ‘good’ and some as ‘bad’ is one of the ways we do this. The beliefs we have around what it means if we feel things like sadness, anxiety, depression and what we make it mean about us. Because the reality is, the more you avoid and suppress them, the louder they get. Perhaps you’ve experienced that before? Much of this is a learned response from childhood. It might have been that people in a position of authority didn’t know how to handle your big emotions and you were made to suppress them, or even told off for having them, making them be seen as undesirable, inconvenient and leading to not being accepted.  Leaning into your emotions is the very thing that enables them to move through your body and be processed as they should be within a few minutes, rather than still ruminating on them hours, days, weeks or even years later.  So it’s a good skill to learn right?! So what does it actually mean when we say to lean into your emotions? Leaning into your emotions means not suppressing or avoiding.   It means really allowing yourself to feel what’s there, without judgement.  It means being able to take a step back, observe and allow. It means bringing in self-compassion in moments of big emotion. It means acknowledging that all emotions are part of the human experience.  It means being able to not be consumed by them and decode them as you feel them and allow them to be there. This is when they move through the body. An emotion itself only lasts approximately 90 seconds but it’s all the other ‘stuff’ we put on top of that physiological feeling. If you can stop judging your emotions and making them good, bad, right or wrong and feeling like we should only feel certain emotions and not others…that’s when the magic happens and your emotions no longer control you. BUT, we have to learn to feel safe expressing our emotions healthily. You might want to do this with a professional so you have a safe space and assistance.  You might feel comfortable doing this on your own or with a trusted friend. It really is up to you.  Healing happens in relationship so I would always recommend working with someone else in the beginning. You’ll find it soon becomes second nature and you’re able to feel far more neutral about what you might previously have perceived as ‘negative’. It’s not about being consumed by your emotions, it’s letting them be there with curiosity.  Again, what does that mean?!   It means being able to observe what’s going on for you.   What’s going on in your thoughts and what’s going on in your body.  Can you name the emotion?   If so, how do you know that’s what it is?  What are the characteristics? Where do you feel it in your body?  How are you expressing it outwardly to others? What do you notice about your behaviour and any urges that come up when you either have, or try to avoid and suppress emotions? For many people it might look like numbing with social media scrolling, food, drink or shopping for example. Noticing this is a big key to helping you stop avoiding them in the future.  If you can become consciously aware of your own patterns you are able to override them far more easily, meaning you can interrupt and CHANGE the pattern, recode and rewire your brain and nervous system. Learning emotional regulation tools to help the process of an emotion moving through your body is incredibly helpful.  For me whenever I experience big emotions my personal favourite is a somatic tool, EFT, otherwise known as tapping.  Think of it like acupuncture without the needles where you’re tapping on some key meridian points on your face and body.  It allows the emotion to come up and be processed. It might take a few rounds but you should notice feeling calmer and more regulated. Reframing negative emotions to be helpful is…well….helpful!  Acknowledging that they have a purpose and a reason for being there and that they make perfect sense can be a game changer.  For example, anxiety is a threat response. In some situations it’s a helpful alert system. Unfortunately for many of us it’s just got wildly out of control. Sadness can be a cue to people around you for support.  All the usual suspects I talk about a lot are also incredibly helpful in getting you to lean into your emotions and creating that acceptance and allowing for curiosity over judgement.  Journaling, HeartMath or other kinds of breathwork, movement, mindfulness. Many of these are in The Positive Pants Toolkit too.   So much of life is almost like learning to dance with your emotions.  Not seeing them as an enemy or yourself as a failure for having them. It’s all part of the beautiful human existence and polarity.  It’s about gratitude. It sounds so counterintuitive that allowing yourself to ACTUALLY feel your emotions is the very thing that causes more balance, peace, calm. Talking from my own experience of learning this little dance it’s incredibly freeing.  Like I've said 1000 times before.  It doesn’t mean I don’t have emotions, it means I don’t judge them or myself and they move on so much more quickly and I can find my peace again. Calm in the chaos.  You just might not have learned it yet, but once you see the shifts and changes happening it’ll become second nature to sit with those emotions and let them move through you.  I hope this helps! Fx

How To Lean Into Your Emotions

Show note links:   Download The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app   Freebies:   Grab your FREE ‘Stressed To Success’ meditation: https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success   Download your guide for How to journal, for the non ‘dear-diary’ type! https://franexcell.com/journaling-101   Grab your free Procrastination Buster workbook https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster   Find out YOUR Enneagram type:https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram    Ways to work with me:   Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app   Enneagram Essentials 90 minute 1:1 &amp; Guide book https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp   For corporate coaching, training and workshops email hello@franexcell.com   Products:   Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude    Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook    Contact:   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!   Email me at hello@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways!   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/   Things I’m Learning From A Social Media Hiatus   It may or may not have escaped your attention but if you’re on my email list you already know…I missed my first podcast episode since 2018.  I totally lost my voice for a whole week…and it’s kind of an essential tool when it comes to recording audio.   But I’m back.  Not 100% firing on all cylinders so please forgive me if there’s a cough that I don’t edit out.     But, it’s ended up being a happy turn of events because had I recorded this episode when I was meant to I wouldn’t have had the glorious opportunity to bring the new kid on the block into the mix…Meta’s new social platform, Threads!   The new kid on the block that it feels like EVERYONE is talking about!   And if you haven’t heard, it’s basically Meta’s new version of twitte so i’ll touch on that a little in a moment..    So… for the context of this episode, It may or may not have also escaped your attention but i’ve been on a bit of a social media hiatus for quite some time!   I’ve not really been online at all for a number of months.  Either posting or scrolling.     There were various reasons why that started and in all honesty it wasn’t 100% intentional at first. I was just doing what I do and listening to what my mind and body needed in the midst of the chaos I have been managing personally.    In all honesty it’s been one of the best things I’ve done for myself and I want to talk about why i’ve done it and why I think it’s been so good.   If you’ve been listening for a while you’ll know that the last year has been quite the personal rollercoaster.  Which annoyingly I still can’t really talk about yet but ohhh it’ll be worth it when I can. There have been SO many lessons learned and SO much growth.   However, it has meant that I have felt like I can’t really show up and be authentic on social media most of the time. If I can’t be totally authentic I honestly don’t see the point.    If i’m not having fun with it and being genuine I’d just rather not in all honesty. In spite of any ramifications in terms of audience and revenue and all that stuff.   I’m all for being a human being first!   I’m still showing up on my emails every single Wednesday and here every Monday…obviously you know that because you’re listening.   Because those two places feel good and authentic to me right now.    I’ve always done my best to make sure that anything I put out is authentic to me at that time and I don’t want to feel like i’m hiding things because at the end of the day this whole podcast is about being able to share lessons and knowledge around how to live better, think better and behave better as a human right?    There’s also some very ‘practical’ reasons, which will eventually all become clear, as to why I haven’t wanted to be online.    You have to think about what social media is training into your brain.    It’s training you to have a shorter and shorter attention span.   It’s getting you addicted to the little dopamine hits that come with likes and follows and a feeling of inclusion and belonging.   It’s also getting you addicted when that DOESN’T happen too.   It’s training you into distraction and procrastination.   It’s training you to not be present.   It’s training you to use significant amounts of your precious time doing essentially nothing and then feel like you don’t have any left.   It’s training you to not be out in nature, with people, reading books, to be removed from what’s going on where and when you actually are!   It’s training you to value the thoughts of people you’ve never met before over your own.   And I feel like I have all of this back, which is glorious.    I feel more balanced, calm, in control.   Now all this sounds super ominous and it is, IF you’re not consciously aware of how you choose to use and engage with it because lets be honest, for all it’s faults it can be fun.    Social media can connect you to people you wouldn’t have been able to be connected with previously.    As a child of the 80s and 90s I remember what it was like not having that.  A time before mobile phones and the era of snail mail.    I remember what it meant if friends moved away or if you moved schools etc.     Don’t get me wrong, I’m so grateful I experienced it and grew up in that environment. I’m simply saying I CAN see the benefits in SPITE of the negatives.    With social media and the interwebs it means you can stay connected to people far away.  You can connect to people with similar interests from across the globe. You can have long distance relationships etc etc.   So there ARE positives.    You have to be intentional when using and prioritising your energy and emotional resources.   It’s so important. You can very easily LOSE yourself to the dopamine hits on social media.    I’ve seen a lot of celebrities and influencers come out and talk about the negative effect that feeling like they have to be online ALL the time is having on them.    How other people’s opinions are affecting them negatively…because let’s be honest, social media really can be the cesspit of human behaviour at times.    So knowing how and when to protect yourself is essential.    You’re a human being, not a robot, and it’s SO important to be able to listen to your mind and body and do what’s right for you. Often that means a break.     I’ve seen lots of celebrities and influencers taking breaks and coming back when they feel better in themselves and i’m glad they’re modelling that. So i’d love for you to see that as evidence that the world doesn’t implode if you do what’s right for you.   Yes of course it likely means a drop in stats, maybe even income.  But if you have your ducks in a row then weigh up what’s more worth itand/or important in the long term for you.    There’s no judgement to be made either way if you’re not judging yourself for it.    We only fear the judgements we’re already making ourselves, so get that in check and you’ll be able to make much clearer decisions.   This is, guess what…where self awareness comes into play! Shock horror.    If you know what your values and priorities REALLY are it makes it so much easier. This includes all the unconscious ‘stuff’ at play behind your decisions.    What feels authentic and GOOD to you?   How do you measure success?   How do you measure worth?   Where do you see your mental and physical health in your priorities?   If you need a break, take a break.     Figure out how you can make it happen.   Monitor the changes in you.   Go back if and when you feel like it.    Then we briefly need to have a little chat about Threads really don’t we.    The success of Threads so far shows that people are craving change.   It’s slightly unnerving how many people are talking about how it’s more fun over there and they feel like they can be themselves rather than a curated version of that.   It’s good that that feeling of safety is over there for now but I think that also tells you a heck of a lot about how much is being forced and fake over on other platforms, which is definitely food for thought!   So with Threads, don’t feel like you have to jump on the bandwagon or you’ll feel left behind.    Be aware of the addictive dopamine that will be coming out to play.    Notice how you feel when using or perusing.   Does it feel fun and expansive?   Does it feel authentic to you?   If you’re having fun, have fun.    If you’re not, leave.   So much of our happiness in this life comes from our own conscious awareness of ourselves. Our behaviour, thoughts and feelings.     The same is absolutely true of social media.    Don’t beat yourself up for giving yourself what you need and being honest about what you don’t.    For me it’s been one of the best things i’ve given myself permission to do.   It’s made a world of difference and increased certain thingsin my life like presence, authenticity, calm, time, peace and so much more at a time when all of those things were needed.  It feels like the definition of staying in your own lane.   It might give you something different.   It’s all about intention.   I’ve absolutely zero interest in any falseness or fakery of any kind. It’s not something I like or am comfortable with in my world.   I’ve joined Threads to see if it will be a place with more authenticity and maybe i’ll find it fun and dip my toe back in the water. Who knows. That’s the beauty. You get to choose.    I’m loving knowing that i’m the one in control of my boundaries, time and energy and I get to choose to go back if and when feels right for me.   And in the meantime i’m going to enjoy the connection I feel here and over on my email list.    Fx

Show note links: <ul> <li> Download The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month <a href="https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app</a> </li> </ul> Freebies: <ul> <li> Grab your FREE ‘Stressed To Success’ meditation: <a href="https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success</a> </li> <li> Download your guide for How to journal, for the non ‘dear-diary’ type! <a href="https://franexcell.com/journaling-101" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/journaling-101</a> </li> <li> Grab your free Procrastination Buster workbook <a href="https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster</a> </li> <li> Find out YOUR Enneagram type:<a href="https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram</a> </li> </ul> Ways to work with me: <ul> <li> Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month <a href="https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app</a> </li> <li> Enneagram Essentials 90 minute 1:1 &amp; Guide book <a href="https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp</a> </li> <li> For corporate coaching, training and workshops email hello@franexcell.com </li> </ul> Products: <ul> <li> Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:<a href="https://bit.ly/365daygratitude" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/365daygratitude</a> </li> <li> Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:<a href="https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook</a> </li> </ul> Contact: <ul> <li> Make sure you’re following me on Instagram <a href="https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/</a> and tag me into your key takeaways! </li> <li> Email me at hello<a>@franexcell.com</a> with any questions or take aways! </li> <li> For more, head over to: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.franexcell.com/</a> </li> </ul> Things I’m Learning From A Social Media Hiatus It may or may not have escaped your attention but if you’re on my email list you already know…I missed my first podcast episode since 2018.  I totally lost my voice for a whole week…and it’s kind of an essential tool when it comes to recording audio. But I’m back.  Not 100% firing on all cylinders so please forgive me if there’s a cough that I don’t edit out.   But, it’s ended up being a happy turn of events because had I recorded this episode when I was meant to I wouldn’t have had the glorious opportunity to bring the new kid on the block into the mix…Meta’s new social platform, Threads! The new kid on the block that it feels like EVERYONE is talking about! And if you haven’t heard, it’s basically Meta’s new version of twitte so i’ll touch on that a little in a moment..  So… for the context of this episode, It may or may not have also escaped your attention but i’ve been on a bit of a social media hiatus for quite some time! I’ve not really been online at all for a number of months.  Either posting or scrolling.   There were various reasons why that started and in all honesty it wasn’t 100% intentional at first. I was just doing what I do and listening to what my mind and body needed in the midst of the chaos I have been managing personally.  In all honesty it’s been one of the best things I’ve done for myself and I want to talk about why i’ve done it and why I think it’s been so good. If you’ve been listening for a while you’ll know that the last year has been quite the personal rollercoaster.  Which annoyingly I still can’t really talk about yet but ohhh it’ll be worth it when I can. There have been SO many lessons learned and SO much growth. However, it has meant that I have felt like I can’t really show up and be authentic on social media most of the time. If I can’t be totally authentic I honestly don’t see the point.  If i’m not having fun with it and being genuine I’d just rather not in all honesty. In spite of any ramifications in terms of audience and revenue and all that stuff. I’m all for being a human being first! I’m still showing up on my emails every single Wednesday and here every Monday…obviously you know that because you’re listening. Because those two places feel good and authentic to me right now.  I’ve always done my best to make sure that anything I put out is authentic to me at that time and I don’t want to feel like i’m hiding things because at the end of the day this whole podcast is about being able to share lessons and knowledge around how to live better, think better and behave better as a human right?  There’s also some very ‘practical’ reasons, which will eventually all become clear, as to why I haven’t wanted to be online.  You have to think about what social media is training into your brain.  It’s training you to have a shorter and shorter attention span. It’s getting you addicted to the little dopamine hits that come with likes and follows and a feeling of inclusion and belonging. It’s also getting you addicted when that DOESN’T happen too. It’s training you into distraction and procrastination. It’s training you to not be present. It’s training you to use significant amounts of your precious time doing essentially nothing and then feel like you don’t have any left. It’s training you to not be out in nature, with people, reading books, to be removed from what’s going on where and when you actually are! It’s training you to value the thoughts of people you’ve never met before over your own. And I feel like I have all of this back, which is glorious.  I feel more balanced, calm, in control. Now all this sounds super ominous and it is, IF you’re not consciously aware of how you choose to use and engage with it because lets be honest, for all it’s faults it can be fun.  Social media can connect you to people you wouldn’t have been able to be connected with previously.  As a child of the 80s and 90s I remember what it was like not having that.  A time before mobile phones and the era of snail mail.  I remember what it meant if friends moved away or if you moved schools etc.   Don’t get me wrong, I’m so grateful I experienced it and grew up in that environment. I’m simply saying I CAN see the benefits in SPITE of the negatives.  With social media and the interwebs it means you can stay connected to people far away.  You can connect to people with similar interests from across the globe. You can have long distance relationships etc etc. So there ARE positives.  You have to be intentional when using and prioritising your energy and emotional resources. It’s so important. You can very easily LOSE yourself to the dopamine hits on social media.  I’ve seen a lot of celebrities and influencers come out and talk about the negative effect that feeling like they have to be online ALL the time is having on them.  How other people’s opinions are affecting them negatively…because let’s be honest, social media really can be the cesspit of human behaviour at times.  So knowing how and when to protect yourself is essential.  You’re a human being, not a robot, and it’s SO important to be able to listen to your mind and body and do what’s right for you. Often that means a break.   I’ve seen lots of celebrities and influencers taking breaks and coming back when they feel better in themselves and i’m glad they’re modelling that. So i’d love for you to see that as evidence that the world doesn’t implode if you do what’s right for you. Yes of course it likely means a drop in stats, maybe even income.  But if you have your ducks in a row then weigh up what’s more worth itand/or important in the long term for you.  There’s no judgement to be made either way if you’re not judging yourself for it.  We only fear the judgements we’re already making ourselves, so get that in check and you’ll be able to make much clearer decisions. This is, guess what…where self awareness comes into play! Shock horror.  If you know what your values and priorities REALLY are it makes it so much easier. This includes all the unconscious ‘stuff’ at play behind your decisions.  What feels authentic and GOOD to you? How do you measure success? How do you measure worth? Where do you see your mental and physical health in your priorities? If you need a break, take a break.   Figure out how you can make it happen. Monitor the changes in you. Go back if and when you feel like it.  Then we briefly need to have a little chat about Threads really don’t we.  The success of Threads so far shows that people are craving change. It’s slightly unnerving how many people are talking about how it’s more fun over there and they feel like they can be themselves rather than a curated version of that. It’s good that that feeling of safety is over there for now but I think that also tells you a heck of a lot about how much is being forced and fake over on other platforms, which is definitely food for thought! So with Threads, don’t feel like you have to jump on the bandwagon or you’ll feel left behind.  Be aware of the addictive dopamine that will be coming out to play.  Notice how you feel when using or perusing. Does it feel fun and expansive? Does it feel authentic to you? If you’re having fun, have fun.  If you’re not, leave. So much of our happiness in this life comes from our own conscious awareness of ourselves. Our behaviour, thoughts and feelings.   The same is absolutely true of social media.  Don’t beat yourself up for giving yourself what you need and being honest about what you don’t.  For me it’s been one of the best things i’ve given myself permission to do. It’s made a world of difference and increased certain thingsin my life like presence, authenticity, calm, time, peace and so much more at a time when all of those things were needed.  It feels like the definition of staying in your own lane. It might give you something different. It’s all about intention. I’ve absolutely zero interest in any falseness or fakery of any kind. It’s not something I like or am comfortable with in my world. I’ve joined Threads to see if it will be a place with more authenticity and maybe i’ll find it fun and dip my toe back in the water. Who knows. That’s the beauty. You get to choose.  I’m loving knowing that i’m the one in control of my boundaries, time and energy and I get to choose to go back if and when feels right for me. And in the meantime i’m going to enjoy the connection I feel here and over on my email list.  Fx

What I'm Learning From A Social Media Hiatus

Show note links:   Download The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app   Freebies:   Grab your FREE ‘Stressed To Success’ meditation: https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success   Download your guide for How to journal, for the non ‘dear-diary’ type! https://franexcell.com/journaling-101   Grab your free Procrastination Buster workbook https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster   Find out YOUR Enneagram type:https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram    Ways to work with me:   Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app   Enneagram Essentials 90 minute 1:1 &amp; Guide book https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp   For corporate coaching, training and workshops email hello@franexcell.com   Products:   Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude    Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook    Contact:   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!   Email me at hello@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways!   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/   Other People’s Behaviour Isn’t A Reflection On You   One of the things I get asked so often is about dealing with other people.     How can we change their behaviour or how their behaviour is making a person feel.   What we really need to control is our reaction to it.    And seek to understand it. Not condone it…understand it. Often that in itself takes out the sting.   While it’s true that other people’s behaviour is far more about them than it is you, there is one caveat I'd like to make.    It may be reflecting something back TO you, which is where the self awareness I’m always talking about comes into play.   And what other people’s behaviour may be reflecting back to you is something that needs healing within yourself.    It may be reflecting back your own feelings of worth and what you deserve.   Which isn’t fun!   BUT…when we catch it, that’s when we can do something with it.    The question then becomes, ‘what lesson do I need to learn from this interaction or what is being reflected here that is actually my own belief about myself.’   Big questions to ask but super important.    When you learn to ask these kinds of questions without judgement, blame or shame then that’s where the magic can start to happen.   There can be so many feelings associated when you ‘allow’ someone to treat you badly.    You might feel angry, hurt, betrayed, foolish, blame yourself…so…many…feelings.   But it happens to all of us at some point.   Whether it’s a client, a friend, a partner, whatever the context, we’ve all let people in who have turned out to be not exactly who they claimed to be at the start.   Or who have treated us in ways that resulted in us feeling less than or awful about ourselves.   And it can be incredibly painful.    Especially when we didn’t see it coming.    And in these situations it’s FAR too easy to blame yourself for that person's behaviour towards you.   ‘Why didn’t I see it?’   ‘What does it say about me that I didn’t see it?’   ‘Maybe I deserved it.’   ‘Was it all a complete lie?’   But that’s a double whammy right?!   You’ve been treated badly by someone else, and now you’re treating yourself badly!   No wonder you feel like you can’t catch a break.   It’s important to be open to learning new ways of doing things yourself.  Unlearning YOUR old patterns and reactions.    This is something I'm doing myself in real time at the moment and it’s definitely challenging at times but also feels really good.    I’m pretty well wired to sit in discomfort these days and knowing that the good stuff is around the corner.    I know it’s good for me and I know it’s wiring new neural pathways that are probably far healthier.   Even though it might register as unsafe because it’s new and unfamiliar.   But I'm open to it and here for it!   When you allow new interactions to teach you something new you don’t ever go back to how you were. It’s new information that’s being encoded into your brain and nervous system.   I used to get so hurt and upset by other people’s behaviour towards me and really went heavy on the self blame and lack of self worth.   That’s very different now.    I know different now.   Even when someone REALLY lets you down it’s easier to handle.     Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, of course it does.    It doesn’t mean there’s no anger and frustration, of course there is.    But I also know it’s not about me.   And even when it might be annoying to do so…compassion for the other person can still be found if you want to find it.   Hurt people, hurt people.   Wounded people tend to be the ones to create wounds in others.   You cannot control the other person’s behaviour.   You cannot control the way someone decides to judge you or see you.   You cannot control the narrative they choose to create.   None of this is within your control.   It’s not a reflection on you if someone behaves badly towards you, it’s on them.   It’s not your ‘fault’ and you’re not to ‘blame’.    Ask yourself the necessary self awareness questions about what it may be highlighting for you to work on in terms of your own healing and how you see yourself.   Hold your head high in the situation.   The more you know yourself deeply, the easier this is.   When you know in your core you’re a good person. You know your worth. You know your values.  You’ll find the less other people’s behaviour will affect you.   That’s what you have control over and that’s where you can create some real change.    If you’ve been in a situation where there has been any sort of abuse this may take a little longer and I highly recommend getting some professional support too but it’s so possible.   Hindsight is a marvellous thing, once you’re out of the situation. When you’re in it it can feel all consuming and confusing and overwhelming and it can be hard to see the woods for the trees.    But it’s absolutely possible to heal, take the lessons, be able to take any responsibility that’s yours to take (very important you understand responsibility is NOT blame!) understand yourself more deeply and not get yourself into a similar situation again.   It was never your fault, or a reflection on you.     Some people are deeply wounded themselves and those wounds can hurt others. It doesn’t matter the situation. This could be clients, colleagues, loved ones, partners, friends.    Some of the worst situations I've been in where people have treated me badly, although painful, have created who I am today.   I won’t tolerate behaviour today that I would have even a few months ago. I’m quicker to learn.   It doesn’t mean no one will ever hurt you again.  That’s just part of a richly human life!   It doesn’t mean no one will ever lie to you about who they are and you won’t see it coming again.    It doesn’t mean you’re going to find it easy to trust people or let them in straight away.    It doesn’t mean any of that and that’s not what we’re aiming for.   What we’re aiming for is for you to KNOW it’s not about you.    To not take on other people’s bad behaviour or toxic ‘stuff’ as YOUR ‘stuff’.#   To know yourself on such a deep level that you have unshakable confidence on WHO you are…while also knowing you’re always improving, growing and learning and never a finished product.  Your feelings might get hurt…but your self-worth stays totally intact.   To know that it’s not a BAD thing to want to see the best in people.   To be able to do the necessary self awareness and healing work when it comes up.   You might just come out the other side as the best version of yourself!   Fx

Show note links: <ul> <li> Download The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month <a href="https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app</a> </li> </ul> Freebies: <ul> <li> Grab your FREE ‘Stressed To Success’ meditation: <a href="https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success</a> </li> <li> Download your guide for How to journal, for the non ‘dear-diary’ type! <a href="https://franexcell.com/journaling-101" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/journaling-101</a> </li> <li> Grab your free Procrastination Buster workbook <a href="https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster</a> </li> <li> Find out YOUR Enneagram type:<a href="https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram</a> </li> </ul> Ways to work with me: <ul> <li> Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month <a href="https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app</a> </li> <li> Enneagram Essentials 90 minute 1:1 &amp; Guide book <a href="https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp</a> </li> <li> For corporate coaching, training and workshops email hello@franexcell.com </li> </ul> Products: <ul> <li> Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:<a href="https://bit.ly/365daygratitude" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/365daygratitude</a> </li> <li> Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:<a href="https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook</a> </li> </ul> Contact: <ul> <li> Make sure you’re following me on Instagram <a href="https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/</a> and tag me into your key takeaways! </li> <li> Email me at hello<a>@franexcell.com</a> with any questions or take aways! </li> <li> For more, head over to: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.franexcell.com/</a> </li> </ul> Other People’s Behaviour Isn’t A Reflection On You One of the things I get asked so often is about dealing with other people.   How can we change their behaviour or how their behaviour is making a person feel. What we really need to control is our reaction to it.  And seek to understand it. Not condone it…understand it. Often that in itself takes out the sting. While it’s true that other people’s behaviour is far more about them than it is you, there is one caveat I'd like to make.  It may be reflecting something back TO you, which is where the self awareness I’m always talking about comes into play. And what other people’s behaviour may be reflecting back to you is something that needs healing within yourself.  It may be reflecting back your own feelings of worth and what you deserve. Which isn’t fun! BUT…when we catch it, that’s when we can do something with it.  The question then becomes, ‘what lesson do I need to learn from this interaction or what is being reflected here that is actually my own belief about myself.’ Big questions to ask but super important.  When you learn to ask these kinds of questions without judgement, blame or shame then that’s where the magic can start to happen. There can be so many feelings associated when you ‘allow’ someone to treat you badly.  You might feel angry, hurt, betrayed, foolish, blame yourself…so…many…feelings. But it happens to all of us at some point. Whether it’s a client, a friend, a partner, whatever the context, we’ve all let people in who have turned out to be not exactly who they claimed to be at the start. Or who have treated us in ways that resulted in us feeling less than or awful about ourselves. And it can be incredibly painful.  Especially when we didn’t see it coming.  And in these situations it’s FAR too easy to blame yourself for that person's behaviour towards you. ‘Why didn’t I see it?’ ‘What does it say about me that I didn’t see it?’ ‘Maybe I deserved it.’ ‘Was it all a complete lie?’ But that’s a double whammy right?! You’ve been treated badly by someone else, and now you’re treating yourself badly! No wonder you feel like you can’t catch a break. It’s important to be open to learning new ways of doing things yourself.  Unlearning YOUR old patterns and reactions.  This is something I'm doing myself in real time at the moment and it’s definitely challenging at times but also feels really good.  I’m pretty well wired to sit in discomfort these days and knowing that the good stuff is around the corner.  I know it’s good for me and I know it’s wiring new neural pathways that are probably far healthier. Even though it might register as unsafe because it’s new and unfamiliar. But I'm open to it and here for it! When you allow new interactions to teach you something new you don’t ever go back to how you were. It’s new information that’s being encoded into your brain and nervous system. I used to get so hurt and upset by other people’s behaviour towards me and really went heavy on the self blame and lack of self worth. That’s very different now.  I know different now. Even when someone REALLY lets you down it’s easier to handle.   Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, of course it does.  It doesn’t mean there’s no anger and frustration, of course there is.  But I also know it’s not about me. And even when it might be annoying to do so…compassion for the other person can still be found if you want to find it. Hurt people, hurt people. Wounded people tend to be the ones to create wounds in others. You cannot control the other person’s behaviour. You cannot control the way someone decides to judge you or see you. You cannot control the narrative they choose to create. None of this is within your control. It’s not a reflection on you if someone behaves badly towards you, it’s on them. It’s not your ‘fault’ and you’re not to ‘blame’.  Ask yourself the necessary self awareness questions about what it may be highlighting for you to work on in terms of your own healing and how you see yourself. Hold your head high in the situation. The more you know yourself deeply, the easier this is. When you know in your core you’re a good person. You know your worth. You know your values.  You’ll find the less other people’s behaviour will affect you. That’s what you have control over and that’s where you can create some real change.  If you’ve been in a situation where there has been any sort of abuse this may take a little longer and I highly recommend getting some professional support too but it’s so possible. Hindsight is a marvellous thing, once you’re out of the situation. When you’re in it it can feel all consuming and confusing and overwhelming and it can be hard to see the woods for the trees.  But it’s absolutely possible to heal, take the lessons, be able to take any responsibility that’s yours to take (very important you understand responsibility is NOT blame!) understand yourself more deeply and not get yourself into a similar situation again. It was never your fault, or a reflection on you.   Some people are deeply wounded themselves and those wounds can hurt others. It doesn’t matter the situation. This could be clients, colleagues, loved ones, partners, friends.  Some of the worst situations I've been in where people have treated me badly, although painful, have created who I am today. I won’t tolerate behaviour today that I would have even a few months ago. I’m quicker to learn. It doesn’t mean no one will ever hurt you again.  That’s just part of a richly human life! It doesn’t mean no one will ever lie to you about who they are and you won’t see it coming again.  It doesn’t mean you’re going to find it easy to trust people or let them in straight away.  It doesn’t mean any of that and that’s not what we’re aiming for. What we’re aiming for is for you to KNOW it’s not about you.  To not take on other people’s bad behaviour or toxic ‘stuff’ as YOUR ‘stuff’.# To know yourself on such a deep level that you have unshakable confidence on WHO you are…while also knowing you’re always improving, growing and learning and never a finished product.  Your feelings might get hurt…but your self-worth stays totally intact. To know that it’s not a BAD thing to want to see the best in people. To be able to do the necessary self awareness and healing work when it comes up. You might just come out the other side as the best version of yourself! Fx

Other People's Behaviour Isn't A Reflection On You

Show note links:   Download The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app   Freebies:   Grab your FREE ‘Stressed To Success’ meditation: https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success   Download your guide for How to journal, for the non ‘dear-diary’ type! https://franexcell.com/journaling-101   Grab your free Procrastination Buster workbook https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster   Find out YOUR Enneagram type:https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram    Ways to work with me:   Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app   Enneagram Essentials 90 minute 1:1 &amp; Guide book https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp   For corporate coaching, training and workshops email hello@franexcell.com   Products:   Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude    Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook    Contact:   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!   Email me at hello@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways!   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/   You Get To Be Picky!   You get to be picky about who and what you allow in your life.   True story.   One I had to learn for myself in many, many ways!    With friends, in relationships, situations I would constantly find myself repeating.   Urgh…we’ve all been there!   And the beauty is you’ll always be learning.    I’m constantly surprising myself on the daily with some of this stuff ha!   All those little ‘ooooh I wouldn’t have said or done THAT before’ moments that make the hard work worth it.   Of course sometimes there’s going to be less of a choice in what you can be picky about, that’s always going to be the case, but often there’s MORE of one that we’re not allowing ourselves to see.   So many of us were taught as kids to ‘do as we’re told’ and if we didn’t there would be negative consequences.   We might have been taught we have to be polite or else there’s negative consequences.    We might have been taught we have to spend time with people we don’t want to.    Play nice with people who don’t play nice with us.    Like people because we’ve been told we should or have to. Maybe because they’re in our family or family friends circle.   You might have literally just been taught it’s not good, or desirable to be ‘picky’ about anything!  Think of phrases like ‘you get what you’re given’.   It’s important to caveat this, like I do everytime I talk about the things that we learn as kids, this along with many other things has always been considered totally ‘normal’ for want of a better word.   It can be very innocent and no harm intended and remember people are only ever doing their best based on the resources and awareness they have themselves. So we steer clear of blaming and shaming anyone else in our quest for what I call ‘the great unlearn’!    We have to unlearn a huge amount of what we were taught as kids because it’s not relevant, or helpful now as adults. And often completely untrue as adults.    And we do that piece by piece, not in one go.     This is where the self awareness work becomes so important, so we make sure we’re looking at it from the perspective of ‘ohhhh this is why I think or do that, that makes total sense’.    It becomes ‘yeay me and my brain and nervous system for protecting me!’   Instead of judging ourselves or anyone else.   And this little piece is one of those such things.   You get to be picky about who and what you allow into your space, into your energy to take your time.   You get to do that.    If you have a boss you don’t like or get on with, can you change teams or move companies?     You get to be picky about who is in your friendship circle.    You get to be picky about your relationships.  On this one it’s worth noting there is far more to breaking ingrained patterns than simply cognitively knowing or telling yourself you get to choose. It definitely requires work.  But that’s all part of the choice you’re making to not repeat the same patterns and to change the game in your own life.   You get to be picky about your environment.    You get to be picky about who you allow to take up space in your life.    You get to be picky about the clients you take on.   You get to be picky about whose company you keep.   It’s being able to say, ok, I don’t like this, what CAN I do about it?    I’m not saying the options are always ideal, or easy, and of course privilege is always going to help in all areas, but they are options and you’re capable of incredible things.   The problems come when we don’t think we have options.  Because you’re not going to make peace with that. You’ll feel that sense of injustice. But once you see that you can make a decision, and it’s more within your control…it changes the game in terms of how you feel day to day.   I always think it’s a good idea to do little ‘audits’ of these things.    Who or what has a positive influence in your life.   Who or what has a negative influence in your life.   Who or what doesn’t bring nor take away.   Then get picky about how much time you spend in each!    On the tasks, in the places, with the people.   When you do the work around this and you grow in your own worth, values and boundaries, just watch how quickly the right people come into your life.   Watch how your relationships transform.   Watch how every area of your life improves.    You can’t do any of it without awareness of your own patterns.    If you don’t do it you’re just going to repeat the same patterns of familiarity, which for most of us, don’t tend to be good for us.    Seek support.    Seek the stories of other people going through similar things.   Seek the stories of triumph over adversity.   Seek the experiences that prove your current beliefs wrong and allow you to relax into yourself and rewire old traumas and patterns with the new information.   That’s the good stuff.   Fx

Show note links: <ul> <li> Download The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month <a href="https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app</a> </li> </ul> Freebies: <ul> <li> Grab your FREE ‘Stressed To Success’ meditation: <a href="https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success</a> </li> <li> Download your guide for How to journal, for the non ‘dear-diary’ type! <a href="https://franexcell.com/journaling-101" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/journaling-101</a> </li> <li> Grab your free Procrastination Buster workbook <a href="https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster</a> </li> <li> Find out YOUR Enneagram type:<a href="https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram</a> </li> </ul> Ways to work with me: <ul> <li> Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month <a href="https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app</a> </li> <li> Enneagram Essentials 90 minute 1:1 &amp; Guide book <a href="https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp</a> </li> <li> For corporate coaching, training and workshops email hello@franexcell.com </li> </ul> Products: <ul> <li> Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:<a href="https://bit.ly/365daygratitude" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/365daygratitude</a> </li> <li> Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:<a href="https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook</a> </li> </ul> Contact: <ul> <li> Make sure you’re following me on Instagram <a href="https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/</a> and tag me into your key takeaways! </li> <li> Email me at hello<a>@franexcell.com</a> with any questions or take aways! </li> <li> For more, head over to: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.franexcell.com/</a> </li> </ul> You Get To Be Picky! You get to be picky about who and what you allow in your life. True story. One I had to learn for myself in many, many ways!  With friends, in relationships, situations I would constantly find myself repeating. Urgh…we’ve all been there! And the beauty is you’ll always be learning.  I’m constantly surprising myself on the daily with some of this stuff ha! All those little ‘ooooh I wouldn’t have said or done THAT before’ moments that make the hard work worth it. Of course sometimes there’s going to be less of a choice in what you can be picky about, that’s always going to be the case, but often there’s MORE of one that we’re not allowing ourselves to see. So many of us were taught as kids to ‘do as we’re told’ and if we didn’t there would be negative consequences. We might have been taught we have to be polite or else there’s negative consequences.  We might have been taught we have to spend time with people we don’t want to.  Play nice with people who don’t play nice with us.  Like people because we’ve been told we should or have to. Maybe because they’re in our family or family friends circle. You might have literally just been taught it’s not good, or desirable to be ‘picky’ about anything!  Think of phrases like ‘you get what you’re given’. It’s important to caveat this, like I do everytime I talk about the things that we learn as kids, this along with many other things has always been considered totally ‘normal’ for want of a better word. It can be very innocent and no harm intended and remember people are only ever doing their best based on the resources and awareness they have themselves. So we steer clear of blaming and shaming anyone else in our quest for what I call ‘the great unlearn’!  We have to unlearn a huge amount of what we were taught as kids because it’s not relevant, or helpful now as adults. And often completely untrue as adults.  And we do that piece by piece, not in one go.   This is where the self awareness work becomes so important, so we make sure we’re looking at it from the perspective of ‘ohhhh this is why I think or do that, that makes total sense’.  It becomes ‘yeay me and my brain and nervous system for protecting me!’ Instead of judging ourselves or anyone else. And this little piece is one of those such things. You get to be picky about who and what you allow into your space, into your energy to take your time. You get to do that.  If you have a boss you don’t like or get on with, can you change teams or move companies?   You get to be picky about who is in your friendship circle.  You get to be picky about your relationships.  On this one it’s worth noting there is far more to breaking ingrained patterns than simply cognitively knowing or telling yourself you get to choose. It definitely requires work.  But that’s all part of the choice you’re making to not repeat the same patterns and to change the game in your own life. You get to be picky about your environment.  You get to be picky about who you allow to take up space in your life.  You get to be picky about the clients you take on. You get to be picky about whose company you keep. It’s being able to say, ok, I don’t like this, what CAN I do about it?  I’m not saying the options are always ideal, or easy, and of course privilege is always going to help in all areas, but they are options and you’re capable of incredible things. The problems come when we don’t think we have options.  Because you’re not going to make peace with that. You’ll feel that sense of injustice. But once you see that you can make a decision, and it’s more within your control…it changes the game in terms of how you feel day to day. I always think it’s a good idea to do little ‘audits’ of these things.  Who or what has a positive influence in your life. Who or what has a negative influence in your life. Who or what doesn’t bring nor take away. Then get picky about how much time you spend in each!  On the tasks, in the places, with the people. When you do the work around this and you grow in your own worth, values and boundaries, just watch how quickly the right people come into your life. Watch how your relationships transform. Watch how every area of your life improves.  You can’t do any of it without awareness of your own patterns.  If you don’t do it you’re just going to repeat the same patterns of familiarity, which for most of us, don’t tend to be good for us.  Seek support.  Seek the stories of other people going through similar things. Seek the stories of triumph over adversity. Seek the experiences that prove your current beliefs wrong and allow you to relax into yourself and rewire old traumas and patterns with the new information. That’s the good stuff. Fx

You Get To Be Picky!

Show note links:   Download The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app   Freebies:   Grab your FREE ‘Stressed To Success’ meditation: https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success   Download your guide for How to journal, for the non ‘dear-diary’ type! https://franexcell.com/journaling-101   Grab your free Procrastination Buster workbook https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster   Find out YOUR Enneagram type:https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram    Ways to work with me:   Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app   Enneagram Essentials 90 minute 1:1 &amp; Guide book https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp   For corporate coaching, training and workshops email hello@franexcell.com   Products:   Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude    Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook    Contact:   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!   Email me at hello@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways!   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/   Little things for big changes   Happy Monday to you, or happy any day that you’re listening!   I wanted to talk about something that I have found to be absolutely transformative in my life and creating changes.   It’s things that are very very easily overlooked but can really make a huge difference in how you feel in, and about yourself!   The reason i’m wanting to talk about it today is because i’ve had a really big focus on it this year and the difference has been huge.   These things become even more important if you’re going through a turbulent time, which also makes them easy to ignore or forget about so it does require a little bit of effort on your part.   But i’m going to help you make it as easy as possible.   Now, what are these THINGS I keep talking about?   That will be TOTALLY individual to you.   But it’s the things that make you feel GOOD.   Not just good in general but good about your SELF.   The things that make you feel good in your own skin.   The things that lead to more confidence.   The things that lead to you having a different posture.   The things that make you trust yourself more.   You see the knock on effects?  They’re huge.  And all the while you’re rewiring these feelings of self trust, self compassion, self confidence to be your new normal, and trust me when I say feeling this way spills out onto everything that you do.   2023 is the year of me.  But that’s just because it’s fun to say and reminds me of the focus. It’s about habits.   It’s how you talk to yourself and how you treat yourself and what you know you want and need to feel your best.   For me it’s things like making sure I get to the gym and spa.  Firstly because as soon as I drive into the entrance and see the trees I physically feel my nervous system shift.   When I was really going through it before and during my break up it really was my sanctuary.  It was my escape.  It was where I could focus on me and have the space that I needed to look after myself.   I make sure I get there 3-4 days per week.   Perhaps you have somewhere like that?  Somewhere where you just feel safe and calm and in control.  Knowing what you need to do to take care of yourself?  It might be a friends house, with family, it might be a place in the woods that you walk to, somewhere with a view that calms you right down?   It can be as simple as a favourite cafe. You FEEL the physical shift when you’re there. Notice that and notice how you feel about yourself in those moments.    Another one for me is getting out on the river on my paddle board. I find being in and around water incredibly regulating and I also feel good that i’m being active.    Funnily enough, because it’s the polar opposite energy, is making sure i’m in London 2-3 days per week.  For me it reminds me who I am.  It reminds me of the opportunity and vibrancy that is available to me.  It means i’m spending time with people, new friends and old. It makes me feel like me.    But I definitely start to tip over the edge after a few days without my green spaces.    I’ve talked about this before but little things like making sure I look after my skin and moisturise every day makes me feel amazing. Using the posh stuff…just because it’s Wednesday!   In the year of me that’s where my money goes too. So every time I buy something I ask myself, is this going to make me feel good?    Put simply it’s looking after yourself and allowing yourself to know you’re worth the effort!   For me at the moment it’s all about me time, exercise, relaxation and regulation, skincare,    But it’s not about how you look…it’s about how you FEEL…which incidentally changes the way you look anyway ha!  I’ve had a fair few people tell me now that i’ve got more of a ‘glow’ about me…and i’m not mad about it!   I can’t tell you what a huge effect that has on everything else. Including how you show up with other people.   Another thing i’ve been doing, which I kind of touched on in a recent episode, is allowing myself to be more in the moment. Take things day by day. This has allowed me to open myself up to some things that I would never have been able to do before. And i’m not gonna lie…i’m having a lot of fun with it!   Less in my head, more in my body.    So have a think about what some of the little things might be for you.   It really doesn’t matter how small. Practice saying ‘will this make me feel good’ before doing or buying things.    See how much it changes how you feel about yourself and your outlook.   Fx

Show note links: <ul> <li> Download The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month <a href="https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app</a> </li> </ul> Freebies: <ul> <li> Grab your FREE ‘Stressed To Success’ meditation: <a href="https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success</a> </li> <li> Download your guide for How to journal, for the non ‘dear-diary’ type! <a href="https://franexcell.com/journaling-101" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/journaling-101</a> </li> <li> Grab your free Procrastination Buster workbook <a href="https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster</a> </li> <li> Find out YOUR Enneagram type:<a href="https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram</a> </li> </ul> Ways to work with me: <ul> <li> Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month <a href="https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app</a> </li> <li> Enneagram Essentials 90 minute 1:1 &amp; Guide book <a href="https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp</a> </li> <li> For corporate coaching, training and workshops email hello@franexcell.com </li> </ul> Products: <ul> <li> Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:<a href="https://bit.ly/365daygratitude" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/365daygratitude</a> </li> <li> Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:<a href="https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook</a> </li> </ul> Contact: <ul> <li> Make sure you’re following me on Instagram <a href="https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/</a> and tag me into your key takeaways! </li> <li> Email me at hello<a>@franexcell.com</a> with any questions or take aways! </li> <li> For more, head over to: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.franexcell.com/</a> </li> </ul> Little things for big changes Happy Monday to you, or happy any day that you’re listening! I wanted to talk about something that I have found to be absolutely transformative in my life and creating changes. It’s things that are very very easily overlooked but can really make a huge difference in how you feel in, and about yourself! The reason i’m wanting to talk about it today is because i’ve had a really big focus on it this year and the difference has been huge. These things become even more important if you’re going through a turbulent time, which also makes them easy to ignore or forget about so it does require a little bit of effort on your part. But i’m going to help you make it as easy as possible. Now, what are these THINGS I keep talking about? That will be TOTALLY individual to you. But it’s the things that make you feel GOOD. Not just good in general but good about your SELF. The things that make you feel good in your own skin. The things that lead to more confidence. The things that lead to you having a different posture. The things that make you trust yourself more. You see the knock on effects?  They’re huge.  And all the while you’re rewiring these feelings of self trust, self compassion, self confidence to be your new normal, and trust me when I say feeling this way spills out onto everything that you do. 2023 is the year of me.  But that’s just because it’s fun to say and reminds me of the focus. It’s about habits. It’s how you talk to yourself and how you treat yourself and what you know you want and need to feel your best. For me it’s things like making sure I get to the gym and spa.  Firstly because as soon as I drive into the entrance and see the trees I physically feel my nervous system shift. When I was really going through it before and during my break up it really was my sanctuary.  It was my escape.  It was where I could focus on me and have the space that I needed to look after myself. I make sure I get there 3-4 days per week. Perhaps you have somewhere like that?  Somewhere where you just feel safe and calm and in control.  Knowing what you need to do to take care of yourself?  It might be a friends house, with family, it might be a place in the woods that you walk to, somewhere with a view that calms you right down? It can be as simple as a favourite cafe. You FEEL the physical shift when you’re there. Notice that and notice how you feel about yourself in those moments.  Another one for me is getting out on the river on my paddle board. I find being in and around water incredibly regulating and I also feel good that i’m being active.  Funnily enough, because it’s the polar opposite energy, is making sure i’m in London 2-3 days per week.  For me it reminds me who I am.  It reminds me of the opportunity and vibrancy that is available to me.  It means i’m spending time with people, new friends and old. It makes me feel like me.  But I definitely start to tip over the edge after a few days without my green spaces.  I’ve talked about this before but little things like making sure I look after my skin and moisturise every day makes me feel amazing. Using the posh stuff…just because it’s Wednesday! In the year of me that’s where my money goes too. So every time I buy something I ask myself, is this going to make me feel good?  Put simply it’s looking after yourself and allowing yourself to know you’re worth the effort! For me at the moment it’s all about me time, exercise, relaxation and regulation, skincare,  But it’s not about how you look…it’s about how you FEEL…which incidentally changes the way you look anyway ha!  I’ve had a fair few people tell me now that i’ve got more of a ‘glow’ about me…and i’m not mad about it! I can’t tell you what a huge effect that has on everything else. Including how you show up with other people. Another thing i’ve been doing, which I kind of touched on in a recent episode, is allowing myself to be more in the moment. Take things day by day. This has allowed me to open myself up to some things that I would never have been able to do before. And i’m not gonna lie…i’m having a lot of fun with it! Less in my head, more in my body.  So have a think about what some of the little things might be for you. It really doesn’t matter how small. Practice saying ‘will this make me feel good’ before doing or buying things.  See how much it changes how you feel about yourself and your outlook. Fx

What Are Your Little Big Things?

Show note links:   Download The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app   Freebies:   Grab your FREE ‘Stressed To Success’ meditation: https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success   Download your guide for How to journal, for the non ‘dear-diary’ type! https://franexcell.com/journaling-101   Grab your free Procrastination Buster workbook https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster   Find out YOUR Enneagram type:https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram    Ways to work with me:   Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app   Enneagram Essentials 90 minute 1:1 &amp; Guide book https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp   For corporate coaching, training and workshops email hello@franexcell.com   Products:   Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:https://bit.ly/365daygratitude    Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook    Contact:   Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!   Email me at hello@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways!   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/   How To Not Freak Out That We’re Half Way Through The Year   How can you stop freaking out that we’re half way through the year?   Good question my friend.   And one I've been hearing a LOT lately.   The amount of people who have said ‘OMG I can’t believe it’s June already’ this week is immense.   I get it.    But also…breathe.   It’s all too easy to look at these arbitrary made up time frames and ‘should’ on yourself.   Grab your journal and spend some time reflecting on the last 6 months, I bet you’ve achieved way more than you think you have.   Don’t just look at a list of things you told yourself you needed to do by this point in the year. Really allow yourself to take a look back at where you were in December or January.    How did you feel?     If you haven’t achieved that list yet, why not?  What’s happened?   There’s zero judgement here so I invite you to offer that compassion to yourself and ask these questions in a way that is genuinely curious rather than accusatory.   There’s a BIG difference.   What happened in your life, or your loved ones, or the world that meant things that were a priority in January stopped being so.   What has been on your plate?   When you set those goals, where were they set from?   A place of them genuinely being YOUR goals and achievable in the time frame?  Or was someone else in your head at that point or were you operating from a place of not feeling good enough?   It’s SO easy when it comes to goal setting to do these things. I like to think of goals as just that, things I'd LIKE to do…but allow for flexibility!   Things change. Circumstances change.   Spend some time planning the NEXT 6 months, IF you want to, challenge yourself sure, but also ask yourself, what would you be happy with achieving in the next 6 months?  That’s probably less than you’ve set yourself.   I always love the quote ‘shoot for the moon, if you miss you’ll land among the stars’.     Time is a funny thing.  It can feel like it’s moving extremely fast, or extremely slow. The same 6 months might feel like a whirlwind to one person and a slow wade through treacle to another.   Ask yourself what you’re proud of in the last 6 months. But don’t just focus on the tangible, financial, obvious goals.    What have you got through that was really tough?   Where did you push yourself out of your comfort zone?   Where did something happen where you allowed yourself to learn a valuable lesson?   What are you making where you’re at right now mean?   There are always going to be times of the year where it’s natural for you to feel like you’re behind where you’re meant to be, but please try to remember it’s basically a societal construct, or your own!   It doesn’t really mean anything unless you make it!   I look over the last 6 months and geeeeeeeeeeez, I’m a totally different person.    I actually didn’t set myself any tangible goals other than to take a day at a time this year because of the upheaval and change that was coming…because I set it in motion in fairness. And taking things a day at a time is something I'm getting better at all the time.   There’s new people in my life teaching me that too.    I’ve always had a tendency, as an enneagram 6, to try and prepare for every outcome. To plan, plan, plan.   And sometimes, you simply can’t.   As a qualified Mindfulness practitioner I have learned to be intentional about presence and I’m great at creating ‘moments’ of bringing myself back to the present as and when I want or need to.   But, LIVING in the present is a very different beast.   It requires conscious thought and effort.   I’m letting this year simply be a year of lessons and growth.  I don’t need anything more tangible right now, and in fairness some people wait a lifetime for that in and of itself.  We’re just trained to not value it as highly as material goals.   This year there’s been a huge amount of upheaval in pretty much every area of my life, which you know if you’ve been with me a while.     Which has been discombobulating to say the least. And required a HUGE identity shift. But it’s been very necessary and 100% the right thing.   But I’m certainly not feeling behind, even though on paper some people might squint their eyes and look at it that way.   In many, many ways I’m ahead.   We have such a tendency to look at certain elements, often professionally, and decide we’re behind.  Or that we’re running out of time.    But we tend to ignore all the ways we’ve grown.   All the ways we’ve created big shifts.   So don’t try and ‘catch up’ with yourself, or other people. It really is pointless.   If you could just take a deep breath and look at where you’re at right here, right now without all the other ‘stuff’ you put on it.    What would you see?   What would you do?   Where might you take action?   What might you say yes to instead of no?   Get specific about where you’re feeling behind.  Is it REALLY true?   What could make you feel or KNOW that you’re moving forwards?   What are you grateful for?   So if you’re one of the many people feeling like you’re behind where you ‘should’ be in June of 2023…I invite you to take a minute and try to see a different perspective.    The bottom line is, the quickest way to change how you’re feeling is to change how you’re thinking.   Fx

Show note links: <ul> <li> Download The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month <a href="https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app</a> </li> </ul> Freebies: <ul> <li> Grab your FREE ‘Stressed To Success’ meditation: <a href="https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/stressed-to-success</a> </li> <li> Download your guide for How to journal, for the non ‘dear-diary’ type! <a href="https://franexcell.com/journaling-101" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/journaling-101</a> </li> <li> Grab your free Procrastination Buster workbook <a href="https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/procrastination-buster</a> </li> <li> Find out YOUR Enneagram type:<a href="https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/introduction-to-the-enneagram</a> </li> </ul> Ways to work with me: <ul> <li> Join The Positive Pants Toolkit App for just £9.99 per month <a href="https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.com/positive-pants-toolkit-app</a> </li> <li> Enneagram Essentials 90 minute 1:1 &amp; Guide book <a href="https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://app.moonclerk.com/pay/2b6wubgnysrp</a> </li> <li> For corporate coaching, training and workshops email hello@franexcell.com </li> </ul> Products: <ul> <li> Grab Your 365 day Gratitude Journal on Amazon:<a href="https://bit.ly/365daygratitude" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/365daygratitude</a> </li> <li> Grab Your Positive Pants Firmly On Notebook:<a href="https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/positivepantsonbook</a> </li> </ul> Contact: <ul> <li> Make sure you’re following me on Instagram <a href="https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/</a> and tag me into your key takeaways! </li> <li> Email me at hello<a>@franexcell.com</a> with any questions or take aways! </li> <li> For more, head over to: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.franexcell.com/</a> </li> </ul> How To Not Freak Out That We’re Half Way Through The Year How can you stop freaking out that we’re half way through the year? Good question my friend. And one I've been hearing a LOT lately. The amount of people who have said ‘OMG I can’t believe it’s June already’ this week is immense. I get it.  But also…breathe. It’s all too easy to look at these arbitrary made up time frames and ‘should’ on yourself. Grab your journal and spend some time reflecting on the last 6 months, I bet you’ve achieved way more than you think you have. Don’t just look at a list of things you told yourself you needed to do by this point in the year. Really allow yourself to take a look back at where you were in December or January.  How did you feel?   If you haven’t achieved that list yet, why not?  What’s happened? There’s zero judgement here so I invite you to offer that compassion to yourself and ask these questions in a way that is genuinely curious rather than accusatory. There’s a BIG difference. What happened in your life, or your loved ones, or the world that meant things that were a priority in January stopped being so. What has been on your plate? When you set those goals, where were they set from? A place of them genuinely being YOUR goals and achievable in the time frame?  Or was someone else in your head at that point or were you operating from a place of not feeling good enough? It’s SO easy when it comes to goal setting to do these things. I like to think of goals as just that, things I'd LIKE to do…but allow for flexibility! Things change. Circumstances change. Spend some time planning the NEXT 6 months, IF you want to, challenge yourself sure, but also ask yourself, what would you be happy with achieving in the next 6 months?  That’s probably less than you’ve set yourself. I always love the quote ‘shoot for the moon, if you miss you’ll land among the stars’.   Time is a funny thing.  It can feel like it’s moving extremely fast, or extremely slow. The same 6 months might feel like a whirlwind to one person and a slow wade through treacle to another. Ask yourself what you’re proud of in the last 6 months. But don’t just focus on the tangible, financial, obvious goals.  What have you got through that was really tough? Where did you push yourself out of your comfort zone? Where did something happen where you allowed yourself to learn a valuable lesson? What are you making where you’re at right now mean? There are always going to be times of the year where it’s natural for you to feel like you’re behind where you’re meant to be, but please try to remember it’s basically a societal construct, or your own! It doesn’t really mean anything unless you make it! I look over the last 6 months and geeeeeeeeeeez, I’m a totally different person.  I actually didn’t set myself any tangible goals other than to take a day at a time this year because of the upheaval and change that was coming…because I set it in motion in fairness. And taking things a day at a time is something I'm getting better at all the time. There’s new people in my life teaching me that too.  I’ve always had a tendency, as an enneagram 6, to try and prepare for every outcome. To plan, plan, plan. And sometimes, you simply can’t. As a qualified Mindfulness practitioner I have learned to be intentional about presence and I’m great at creating ‘moments’ of bringing myself back to the present as and when I want or need to. But, LIVING in the present is a very different beast. It requires conscious thought and effort. I’m letting this year simply be a year of lessons and growth.  I don’t need anything more tangible right now, and in fairness some people wait a lifetime for that in and of itself.  We’re just trained to not value it as highly as material goals. This year there’s been a huge amount of upheaval in pretty much every area of my life, which you know if you’ve been with me a while.   Which has been discombobulating to say the least. And required a HUGE identity shift. But it’s been very necessary and 100% the right thing. But I’m certainly not feeling behind, even though on paper some people might squint their eyes and look at it that way. In many, many ways I’m ahead. We have such a tendency to look at certain elements, often professionally, and decide we’re behind.  Or that we’re running out of time.  But we tend to ignore all the ways we’ve grown. All the ways we’ve created big shifts. So don’t try and ‘catch up’ with yourself, or other people. It really is pointless. If you could just take a deep breath and look at where you’re at right here, right now without all the other ‘stuff’ you put on it.  What would you see? What would you do? Where might you take action? What might you say yes to instead of no? Get specific about where you’re feeling behind.  Is it REALLY true? What could make you feel or KNOW that you’re moving forwards? What are you grateful for? So if you’re one of the many people feeling like you’re behind where you ‘should’ be in June of 2023…I invite you to take a minute and try to see a different perspective.  The bottom line is, the quickest way to change how you’re feeling is to change how you’re thinking. Fx

How To Not Freak Out About Being Half Way Through The Year

Fran Excell is a success mindset mentor who helps business owners overcome stress and self sabotage, so they can get off the emotional rollercoaster, get back their time &amp; feel more in control!Fran draws on her training in Applied Neuroscience Coaching, NLP, EFT, Positive Psychology, Emotional Intelligence and other trauma informed mind body modalities, along with her own research and life experience to give you the tools to break through what’s holding you back and get out your own way by showing you how to let go of negative thinking, unconscious habits and limiting beliefs so you finally have the confidence and tools to fulfil your full potential and achieve anything YOU want to.If you struggle with negativity, self-doubt, procrastination, lack of organisation, confidence or need some help just getting yourself to do those things you reeeeeally want to but just can’t seem to then this is the place for you!"I’ve been where you are and through YEARS of tried and tested methods, years of studying and thousands of hours reading and working with clients I know how to turn things around and I know what works!I'm going to help you find your positive pants so you can achieve anything you want! ;-)I’ll come to you with a new episode every Monday and give you practical tips to improve your mindset for the positive and give you a deep understanding of why you do the things that you do.  I’ll keep it short enough to be snackable so you can implement into your life and business straight away...hey I get it you’re busy, I've got you covered!"Head over to , https://www.franexcell.com/ follow @imfranexcell on Instagram or email hello@franexcell.com for more information.MEDICAL DISCLAIMERAny information or guidance we provide is not a substitute for the consultation, diagnosis, and/or medical treatment of your doctor or healthcare provider.  You must not rely on any information or guidance we provide you with as an alternative to medical advice from your doctor or healthcare provide and we expressly disclaim all responsibility, and shall have no liability, for any damages, loss, injury, or liability whatsoever suffered by you or any third party as a result of your reliance on any information or guidance we provide you with. If you have any specific questions or concerns about any medical matter, you should consult your doctor or healthcare provider as soon as possible.  If you think you may be suffering from any medical condition, you should seek immediate medical attention from your healthcare provider. Do not delay seeking medical advice, disregard medical advice or discontinue medical treatment because of information or guidance we provide you with.  Nothing in this disclaimer will limit or exclude any liability that may not be limited or excluded by applicable law. Content DisclaimerThe information contained above is provided for information purposes only. The contents of this podcast/audio are not intended to amount to advice and you should not rely on any of the contents of this podcast/audio. Professional advice should be obtained before taking or refraining from taking any action as a result of the contents of this podcast/audio Fran Excell disclaims all liability and responsibility arising from any reliance placed on any of the contents of this podcast/audio.

Hi Fran!

Just discovered your podcast today. I’m needing some guidance back to being productive and not letting my anxiety from overwhelm stunt my professional growth. I have a fear of success syndrome 😬 I appreciate your topics! And thank you for not making your podcast too long. The quick/easy/topic focused episodes are really nice and a breath of fresh air.

Have a great day!
-Ashley

Thank you!

So extremely grateful to have found Fran’s podcast! Every episode is short, sweet &amp; directly to the point. I love listening to what she has to say- she always give a great perspective and advice on  different topics!

So grateful for Fran!

Fran Excell is a success mindset mentor who helps business owners overcome stress and self sabotage, so they can get off the emotional rollercoaster, get back their time &amp; feel more in control! Fran draws on her training in Applied Neuroscience Coaching, NLP, EFT, Positive Psychology, Emotional Intelligence and other trauma informed mind body modalities, along with her own research and life experience to give you the tools to break through what’s holding you back and get out your own way by showing you how to let go of negative thinking, unconscious habits and limiting beliefs so you finally have the confidence and tools to fulfil your full potential and achieve anything YOU want to. If you struggle with negativity, self-doubt, procrastination, lack of organisation, confidence or need some help just getting yourself to do those things you reeeeeally want to but just can’t seem to then this is the place for you! "I’ve been where you are and through YEARS of tried and tested methods, years of studying and thousands of hours reading and working with clients I know how to turn things around and I know what works! I'm going to help you find your positive pants so you can achieve anything you want! ;-) I’ll come to you with a new episode every Monday and give you practical tips to improve your mindset for the positive and give you a deep understanding of why you do the things that you do. I’ll keep it short enough to be snackable so you can implement into your life and business straight away...hey I get it you’re busy, I've got you covered!" Head over to , <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.franexcell.com/</a> follow @imfranexcell on Instagram or email hello@franexcell.com for more information. MEDICAL DISCLAIMER Any information or guidance we provide is not a substitute for the consultation, diagnosis, and/or medical treatment of your doctor or healthcare provider. You must not rely on any information or guidance we provide you with as an alternative to medical advice from your doctor or healthcare provide and we expressly disclaim all responsibility, and shall have no liability, for any damages, loss, injury, or liability whatsoever suffered by you or any third party as a result of your reliance on any information or guidance we provide you with. If you have any specific questions or concerns about any medical matter, you should consult your doctor or healthcare provider as soon as possible. If you think you may be suffering from any medical condition, you should seek immediate medical attention from your healthcare provider. Do not delay seeking medical advice, disregard medical advice or discontinue medical treatment because of information or guidance we provide you with. Nothing in this disclaimer will limit or exclude any liability that may not be limited or excluded by applicable law. Content Disclaimer The information contained above is provided for information purposes only. The contents of this podcast/audio are not intended to amount to advice and you should not rely on any of the contents of this podcast/audio. Professional advice should be obtained before taking or refraining from taking any action as a result of the contents of this podcast/audio Fran Excell disclaims all liability and responsibility arising from any reliance placed on any of the contents of this podcast/audio.

The Positive Pants Podcast

 Access SubliminialPower HERE (Affiliate link because it’s awesome!)   Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways!   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/   For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants   Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you:   Book In a FREE discovery call https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min   To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/   Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/     Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @imfranexcell and tag me into your key takeaways!    What habits do you want or need to change?   I mean REALLY time to nip it in the bud.   In this sea of ‘New year, New you’ posts I thought it would be useful to highlight why 92% of ‘resolutions’ fail.  And fail pretty quickly. (Check out why I don’t think you should make them HERE)   It’s because people don’t focus on their unconscious IDENTITY and their unconscious beliefs.     Who they are on an unconscious level.  It’s the unconscious habits and beliefs that need the work because they’re what runs 95-99% of the show, not the external stuff.   There’s no judgement here on what constitutes good and bad habits either, it’s not about making you ‘wrong’ in any way (I mean some habits are very obviously not as ‘good’ as others and there is definitely an element of honesty required when you KNOW something isn’t good for you)    Rather, it’s what is a good and bad habit TO you and FOR you, what gets in the way of you having what you want for your life?   So it’s not about focusing on the negative, It’s about focusing on the positive changes to get you what you DO want and to who you want to be, and making it about what you actually WANT for you and for your life.  And forming a habit around those.   Most of the time the focus IS on what you DON’T want and also, kind of focusing on beating yourself up for all your perceived faults! How about mixing it up and you work out what you want and then work out what behavioural habits you need to have to get there instead...so the focus is on getting what you want.     It’s not just about the external, physical habits. It’s those thinking habits, those thoughts that lead to certain self sabotaging behaviours.  Not just eat less, move more. So identify those and put your focus there. What recurring thoughts do you have that make you sabotage your efforts?   I know i’ve talked before about the power of habits and having a good routine (Read more  HERE), especially in the morning, but this is a slightly different take on it.     I’m talking about the slightly more ‘incognito’ rather than the glaringly ‘obvious’ habits.   The habits that every single decision you make and action you take creates, even the teeny tiny ones.   Think about your mental mental habits and tendencies.    The little things that seem harmless but create a neural pathway and ingrained habitual behaviour in other areas that you haven’t noticed.   So going into 2020 it’s time to make sure we stop repeating the same old behaviour and patterns and expecting different outcomes.    “The way we do anything is the way we do everything.” - Martha Beck   If we have a habit in one area of our lives you are highly likely to find it in several others.   So, as an example, if you have a tendency to ‘cut corners’ in your personal life, you know, do something that’s not quite to the best of your ability but ‘it’ll do’, it’s very likely you’ll do the same in your business, and we know what that can and usually will lead to!   It’s not a great energy to be coming from and people will see through the lack of effort.   So if you just started noticing when you COULD cut corners but pattern interrupt and do something different that supports the behaviour you DO want, that’s the start of you creating a new neural pathway to doing things well and to the best of your ability.  It’s about catching yourself in the habit and making a different choice.   Your internal thoughts and habits are what ‘manifests’ as ‘things’ in your external world.  It’s what creates the results you get, or don’t get.   Sounds woo but I promise it’s not.     Manifesting is absolutely real, you’ve just got to understand a little bit about psychology and the human mind to see, it’s unfortunate that so many of the people that teach it frame it in such a fluffy way that makes rational minded people go ‘yuck’ and totally ignore it.  Your unconscious beliefs and habits lead to the results you get. Full stop.   Another example, If you have a habit of procrastinating on things you don’t really want to do rather than just pushing through and getting it done...it’s highly likely you’ll do the same in your business.  Procrastination is many things but one of the biggest is a habit! You are not a procrastinator, you have a habit of procrastinating. (Read more about how to overcome procrastination HERE)   It’s really easy to slip back into old habits even with the best of intentions, it’s like there’s this invisible pull back towards it.     Which is where the awareness and self discipline comes in giving you back the power of conscious choice. And my favourite tool from Mel Robbins, the 5 second rule.  Catch yourself in those thoughts of going towards the behaviour you don’t want. Count backwards 5-4-3-2-1 and physically move and take the action towards what you do want. (Read more about how to cultivate self discipline  HERE)   Remember, changing habits takes awareness, effort, discipline and a little time and then THAT behaviour becomes your habit...THAT is your unconscious go to programming so think about how you can make it easy on yourself.  It also takes a little kindness towards yourself. You will slip up, it’s not about being perfect, it’s about getting back on it when you do slip up.   So, rather than just setting your goals in your business set some about WHO you want to BE.  How do you want to show up? (Read more about how to set goals that work FOR you HERE)   By who do you need to be, I mean what characteristics would you need to possess?  Confidence? Generosity? Determination?    What characteristics do you admire in the people you follow?  Write all this down and refer to it daily! Set a reminder in your phone!   Who can you model that's done what you want to do and what can you learn from them?    What can you read about them?  Their daily routines and habits, their non negotiables that you can adopt into your own life?   What habits does a person who has what you want to have, have?  (that's a mouthful!)   What habits do you need to let go of?   Remember, change only happens when the pain of things staying as they are is greater than the pain (as in effort, discipline etc) of change. (Read more about why it always feels so hard making a change  HERE)   There are things we simply need to let go of to get where we're going.   Some of the things i’ve let go of are a lack of confidence, self deprecation (that was a BIG one), negativity, giving up when it was hard or I didn’t know the answer, caring too much about what other people think, laziness, not taking action through fear, Fear over investing in myself due to lack of self worth and guilt (if you haven’t done any money mindset work PLEASE do yourself a favour and book in a call with me HERE, it’s absolutely critical to work through!) making  excuses, not taking responsibility for my part in my results, blaming.  There are lots more but you see my point.   I did all of this and then some.     There’s STILL work to do, this stuff is continuous.    I’m human.     All of these were habitual thought programmes and 100% up to me to change in order to get where I wanted to go. This is what I mean when I say it can be confronting.  You really have to own your ‘sh*%., no one else can do that for you’    You simply can't expect different results from the same behaviours, so what needs to change?   What do you need to let go of?   So for inspiration and transparency here are a couple of the things I’M letting go of this year:    Junk food and eating things I KNOW I'm intolerant to!! - WHY?  Because I know it drastically affects my mood, my productivity and my health overall and it stops now!      So whenever I have a goal I ask myself...What are the 5 steps someone would need to take to help make this a habit in the easiest possible way?  1) Stop going to the supermarket.  It's a little more effort but worth the pay off to go to farm shops.  There are plenty around here so there's no excuse really.  2) Ask their chef husband to help create some basic dishes that I love that I can always have on hand and teach me some basics of cooking healthy tasty food that doesn’t come out of a packet.   3) Get rid of any junk from the cupboards.  4) Enroll the hubs in the cause and do it together.  5) Plan more so I don't get caught in the trap of HAVING to get unhealthy food. Thanks self sabotaging unconscious mind!!   This one is a GREAT example of the only thing standing in my way is me.  My own excuses, habits and responsibility. I have literally EVERYTHING I need to be able to make this happen so I have to be honest with myself and call it out!   Where and in what areas are you doing the same thing?  Where you already have ALL the resources that you need but you’re just not using them?!   Booze is also involved in this and something I worked on last year.  I don't drink very often at all these days (ex party girl right here!) but when i've felt I 'had' to i've paid for it!     My productivity is affected for DAYS after, along with my sleep...it's not worth it!     So I have a few ‘rules of thumb’ now because my aim wasn’t to become teetotal, although I didn’t drink a drop from January until the end of May last year.     I only drink with the people I actually WANT to drink with, I only drink the drinks I actually enjoy for the flavour (Red wine with good food and cider….the west country girl in me!     Occasionally a little summer Pimm’s...because, yum!) If I know I've got a lot on, I won’t drink at all.  If I WANT to have a drink I won’t put anything in for the next day. Those are just my rules for me, my boundaries for myself! You need to make up yours in any of these areas, I'm just sharing what I do.    Next one is my need for ‘control’ over situations - Why? This is still a habit from the fall out of losing everything and being SO out of control 5 years ago.  It's something I work on but it's HUGELY important to me to completely let go.      I believe everything happens for a reason and a positive will always come from a negative but my need for control spills into how I interact with the hubs and also creates a need of feeling I have to do certain things on my own... Fran solo if you will!     A belief of 'If I don't control things they will go wrong' is a strong one for me based on so many instances of NOT having control.  It’s a deeply ingrained habit and why i’ve not done an episode on it before, once I master it i’ll let you know! I know all the practical ways to do it...but I'm not just yet.  So in the spirit of practicing what I preach it’s an episode for another day...soon ;-)     This year I'm letting it go, life's way more fun that way!     What will be will be and 2 heads are usually better than one!     And trying to 'control' an outcome is a surefire way to make it move further away because you're approaching it from an 'I'm doing this because I don't want THAT to happen' so the focus is all on the thing you don't want to happen....hello self fulfilling prophecy!     This is why I'm always saying try not to have an attachment to the outcome, treat it as an experiment, and test to tweak as you go.  The more you do this the more the need for control lessens.   One has a ‘heavy’ emphasis and is stressful and unpleasant.     The other is much ‘lighter’ and there's no self beating involved!! And dare I say it...it’s way more fun!    I'm letting go of anywhere I'm not showing up as the best me. - Why? Because it’s important to me to be the best version of me, in ALL areas of my life, not just some, and with all people.  Even the ones that rub me up the wrong way! I want to be compassionate and empathetic in all situations and hope that how I show up can help someone else show up how they want to too. We’re all reacting to each others unconscious programming ALL the time and it’s very easy to ‘react’ in the moment and when we do, it’s not always how we would have liked to.    There's a certain way I want to be but sometimes habits get in the way...so what does that mean...you create new ones!    Every single micro decision you make creates your habits, it doesn't matter what they are you CAN change them.     So I'm letting go of everywhere I'm not showing up as who I want to be.     So I will be catching myself in moments where I want to judge, cut a corner, or leave something for 'later' or getting sucked into distraction.     I also love a bit of gossip...I like to be in the know BUT I increasingly find even being involved in those kinds of conversations negative and a bit draining....so i'm going to let go of my FOMO and need to know and simply staying in my own lane, and politely making my excuses to leave.     This one's going to be tough because I LOVE people telling me their secrets ha!  I’ve always been the person that people tell everything to and they know their secrets safe since I was young. BUT, fun as it can be, it’s almost always negative about someone else and I don’t want to be around it anymore.     So there's a few...there will be plenty more!   So when you’re thinking about setting your goals, working out what you want and how you’re going to get there, don’t just focus on the external habits.  Focus on the internal ones, the characteristics, qualities, the little mental habits that put together lead to a lot of big results.    It’s SO important you work out what they are and how you want to show up, remind yourself constantly, make it as easy as possible.   Don't underestimate how much these seemingly little personal habits can affect your business and how you show up in the world!   Catch yourself when you're slipping back into the same habits you said you don't want any more!    Call yourself out on any negativity, excuses, anywhere you aren't taking responsibility, anywhere you know you have the tools and aren't using them.   We all do it, it's human nature.     Like I’m always reminding you, 95-99% of everything we do is run by our unconscious mind and therefore our habits, so we've gotta call ourselves out on it.  It's so freaking empowering when you do!   Goal setting is great but if your habits aren't matching up to what you want it's going to stop you and sabotage you.     So set your goals, but WHO do you need to BE to achieve them?     What habits do you need to start or let go of to get there? THAT's the stuff to focus on.   So what are you letting go of??

<ul> <li>Access SubliminialPower <a href="http://tracking.kaleidoscopeglobal.com/SH6L" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a> (Affiliate link because it’s awesome!)</li> </ul> <ul> <li>Email me at <a href="mailto:fran@franexcell.com">fran@franexcell.com</a> with any questions or take aways!</li> </ul> <ul> <li>For more, head over to: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.franexcell.com/</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you:</li> </ul> <ul> <li><a href="https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Book In a FREE discovery call https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: <a href="https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @imfranexcell and tag me into your key takeaways!</li> </ul> What habits do you want or need to change? I mean REALLY time to nip it in the bud. In this sea of ‘New year, New you’ posts I thought it would be useful to highlight why 92% of ‘resolutions’ fail.  And fail pretty quickly. (Check out why I don’t think you should make them <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/dontmakeresolutions/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>) It’s because people don’t focus on their unconscious IDENTITY and their unconscious beliefs.   Who they are on an unconscious level.  It’s the unconscious habits and beliefs that need the work because they’re what runs 95-99% of the show, not the external stuff. There’s no judgement here on what constitutes good and bad habits either, it’s not about making you ‘wrong’ in any way (I mean some habits are very obviously not as ‘good’ as others and there is definitely an element of honesty required when you KNOW something isn’t good for you)  Rather, it’s what is a good and bad habit TO you and FOR you, what gets in the way of you having what you want for your life? So it’s not about focusing on the negative, It’s about focusing on the positive changes to get you what you DO want and to who you want to be, and making it about what you actually WANT for you and for your life.  And forming a habit around those. Most of the time the focus IS on what you DON’T want and also, kind of focusing on beating yourself up for all your perceived faults! How about mixing it up and you work out what you want and then work out what behavioural habits you need to have to get there instead...so the focus is on getting what you want.   It’s not just about the external, physical habits. It’s those thinking habits, those thoughts that lead to certain self sabotaging behaviours.  Not just eat less, move more. So identify those and put your focus there. What recurring thoughts do you have that make you sabotage your efforts? I know i’ve talked before about the power of habits and having a good routine (Read more <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/the-power-of-positive-habits-and-routine/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> HERE</a>), especially in the morning, but this is a slightly different take on it.   I’m talking about the slightly more ‘incognito’ rather than the glaringly ‘obvious’ habits. The habits that every single decision you make and action you take creates, even the teeny tiny ones. Think about your mental mental habits and tendencies.  The little things that seem harmless but create a neural pathway and ingrained habitual behaviour in other areas that you haven’t noticed. So going into 2020 it’s time to make sure we stop repeating the same old behaviour and patterns and expecting different outcomes.  “The way we do anything is the way we do everything.” - Martha Beck If we have a habit in one area of our lives you are highly likely to find it in several others. So, as an example, if you have a tendency to ‘cut corners’ in your personal life, you know, do something that’s not quite to the best of your ability but ‘it’ll do’, it’s very likely you’ll do the same in your business, and we know what that can and usually will lead to! It’s not a great energy to be coming from and people will see through the lack of effort. So if you just started noticing when you COULD cut corners but pattern interrupt and do something different that supports the behaviour you DO want, that’s the start of you creating a new neural pathway to doing things well and to the best of your ability.  It’s about catching yourself in the habit and making a different choice. Your internal thoughts and habits are what ‘manifests’ as ‘things’ in your external world.  It’s what creates the results you get, or don’t get. Sounds woo but I promise it’s not.   Manifesting is absolutely real, you’ve just got to understand a little bit about psychology and the human mind to see, it’s unfortunate that so many of the people that teach it frame it in such a fluffy way that makes rational minded people go ‘yuck’ and totally ignore it.  Your unconscious beliefs and habits lead to the results you get. Full stop. Another example, If you have a habit of procrastinating on things you don’t really want to do rather than just pushing through and getting it done...it’s highly likely you’ll do the same in your business.  Procrastination is many things but one of the biggest is a habit! You are not a procrastinator, you have a habit of procrastinating. (Read more about how to overcome procrastination <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/stopprocrastinating/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>) It’s really easy to slip back into old habits even with the best of intentions, it’s like there’s this invisible pull back towards it.   Which is where the awareness and self discipline comes in giving you back the power of conscious choice. And my favourite tool from Mel Robbins, the 5 second rule.  Catch yourself in those thoughts of going towards the behaviour you don’t want. Count backwards 5-4-3-2-1 and physically move and take the action towards what you do want. (Read more about how to cultivate self discipline <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/why-self-discipline-is-the-key-to-success/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> HERE</a>) Remember, changing habits takes awareness, effort, discipline and a little time and then THAT behaviour becomes your habit...THAT is your unconscious go to programming so think about how you can make it easy on yourself.  It also takes a little kindness towards yourself. You will slip up, it’s not about being perfect, it’s about getting back on it when you do slip up. So, rather than just setting your goals in your business set some about WHO you want to BE.  How do you want to show up? (Read more about how to set goals that work FOR you <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/goals/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>) By who do you need to be, I mean what characteristics would you need to possess?  Confidence? Generosity? Determination?  What characteristics do you admire in the people you follow?  Write all this down and refer to it daily! Set a reminder in your phone! Who can you model that's done what you want to do and what can you learn from them?  What can you read about them?  Their daily routines and habits, their non negotiables that you can adopt into your own life? What habits does a person who has what you want to have, have?  (that's a mouthful!) What habits do you need to let go of? Remember, change only happens when the pain of things staying as they are is greater than the pain (as in effort, discipline etc) of change. (Read more about why it always feels so hard making a change <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/why-does-it-always-feel-hard-making-a-change/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> HERE</a>) There are things we simply need to let go of to get where we're going. Some of the things i’ve let go of are a lack of confidence, self deprecation (that was a BIG one), negativity, giving up when it was hard or I didn’t know the answer, caring too much about what other people think, laziness, not taking action through fear, Fear over investing in myself due to lack of self worth and guilt (if you haven’t done any money mindset work PLEASE do yourself a favour and book in a call with me <a href="https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>, it’s absolutely critical to work through!) making <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/are-you-committed-to-your-results-or-your-excuses/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> excuses</a>, not taking <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/taking-responsibility/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">responsibility</a> for my part in my results, <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/stop-the-blame-game/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">blaming</a>.  There are lots more but you see my point. I did all of this and then some.   There’s STILL work to do, this stuff is continuous.  I’m human.   All of these were habitual thought programmes and 100% up to me to change in order to get where I wanted to go. This is what I mean when I say it can be confronting.  You really have to own your ‘sh*%., no one else can do that for you’  You simply can't expect different results from the same behaviours, so what needs to change? What do you need to let go of? So for inspiration and transparency here are a couple of the things I’M letting go of this year: <ul> <li>Junk food and eating things I KNOW I'm intolerant to!! - WHY?  Because I know it drastically affects my mood, my productivity and my health overall and it stops now!  </li> </ul> So whenever I have a goal I ask myself...What are the 5 steps someone would need to take to help make this a habit in the easiest possible way?  1) Stop going to the supermarket.  It's a little more effort but worth the pay off to go to farm shops.  There are plenty around here so there's no excuse really.  2) Ask their chef husband to help create some basic dishes that I love that I can always have on hand and teach me some basics of cooking healthy tasty food that doesn’t come out of a packet.   3) Get rid of any junk from the cupboards.  4) Enroll the hubs in the cause and do it together.  5) Plan more so I don't get caught in the trap of HAVING to get unhealthy food. Thanks self sabotaging unconscious mind!! This one is a GREAT example of the only thing standing in my way is me.  My own excuses, habits and responsibility. I have literally EVERYTHING I need to be able to make this happen so I have to be honest with myself and call it out! Where and in what areas are you doing the same thing?  Where you already have ALL the resources that you need but you’re just not using them?! Booze is also involved in this and something I worked on last year.  I don't drink very often at all these days (ex party girl right here!) but when i've felt I 'had' to i've paid for it!   My productivity is affected for DAYS after, along with my sleep...it's not worth it!   So I have a few ‘rules of thumb’ now because my aim wasn’t to become teetotal, although I didn’t drink a drop from January until the end of May last year.   I only drink with the people I actually WANT to drink with, I only drink the drinks I actually enjoy for the flavour (Red wine with good food and cider….the west country girl in me!   Occasionally a little summer Pimm’s...because, yum!) If I know I've got a lot on, I won’t drink at all.  If I WANT to have a drink I won’t put anything in for the next day. Those are just my rules for me, my boundaries for myself! You need to make up yours in any of these areas, I'm just sharing what I do. <ul> <li>Next one is my need for ‘control’ over situations - Why? This is still a habit from the fall out of losing everything and being SO out of control 5 years ago.  It's something I work on but it's HUGELY important to me to completely let go.  </li> </ul> I believe everything happens for a reason and a positive will always come from a negative but my need for control spills into how I interact with the hubs and also creates a need of feeling I have to do certain things on my own... Fran solo if you will!   A belief of 'If I don't control things they will go wrong' is a strong one for me based on so many instances of NOT having control.  It’s a deeply ingrained habit and why i’ve not done an episode on it before, once I master it i’ll let you know! I know all the practical ways to do it...but I'm not just yet.  So in the spirit of practicing what I preach it’s an episode for another day...soon ;-)   This year I'm letting it go, life's way more fun that way!   What will be will be and 2 heads are usually better than one!   And trying to 'control' an outcome is a surefire way to make it move further away because you're approaching it from an 'I'm doing this because I don't want THAT to happen' so the focus is all on the thing you don't want to happen....hello self fulfilling prophecy!   This is why I'm always saying try not to have an attachment to the outcome, treat it as an experiment, and test to tweak as you go.  The more you do this the more the need for control lessens. One has a ‘heavy’ emphasis and is stressful and unpleasant.   The other is much ‘lighter’ and there's no self beating involved!! And dare I say it...it’s way more fun! <ul> <li>I'm letting go of anywhere I'm not showing up as the best me. - Why? Because it’s important to me to be the best version of me, in ALL areas of my life, not just some, and with all people.  Even the ones that rub me up the wrong way! I want to be compassionate and empathetic in all situations and hope that how I show up can help someone else show up how they want to too. We’re all reacting to each others unconscious programming ALL the time and it’s very easy to ‘react’ in the moment and when we do, it’s not always how we would have liked to.</li> </ul> There's a certain way I want to be but sometimes habits get in the way...so what does that mean...you create new ones!  Every single micro decision you make creates your habits, it doesn't matter what they are you CAN change them.   So I'm letting go of everywhere I'm not showing up as who I want to be.   So I will be catching myself in moments where I want to judge, cut a corner, or leave something for 'later' or getting sucked into distraction.   I also love a bit of gossip...I like to be in the know BUT I increasingly find even being involved in those kinds of conversations negative and a bit draining....so i'm going to let go of my FOMO and need to know and simply staying in my own lane, and politely making my excuses to leave.   This one's going to be tough because I LOVE people telling me their secrets ha!  I’ve always been the person that people tell everything to and they know their secrets safe since I was young. BUT, fun as it can be, it’s almost always negative about someone else and I don’t want to be around it anymore.   So there's a few...there will be plenty more! So when you’re thinking about setting your goals, working out what you want and how you’re going to get there, don’t just focus on the external habits.  Focus on the internal ones, the characteristics, qualities, the little mental habits that put together lead to a lot of big results.  It’s SO important you work out what they are and how you want to show up, remind yourself constantly, make it as easy as possible. Don't underestimate how much these seemingly little personal habits can affect your business and how you show up in the world! Catch yourself when you're slipping back into the same habits you said you don't want any more!  Call yourself out on any negativity, excuses, anywhere you aren't taking responsibility, anywhere you know you have the tools and aren't using them. We all do it, it's human nature.   Like I’m always reminding you, 95-99% of everything we do is run by our unconscious mind and therefore our habits, so we've gotta call ourselves out on it.  It's so freaking empowering when you do! Goal setting is great but if your habits aren't matching up to what you want it's going to stop you and sabotage you.   So set your goals, but WHO do you need to BE to achieve them?   What habits do you need to start or let go of to get there? THAT's the stuff to focus on. So what are you letting go of??

103 - What Habits Do You Actually Need To Change?

Do you struggle with your confidence? Do you feel like it holds you back from doing things that you want to achieve? Going places you want to go? Guess what…it doesn’t have to stay that way! You can actually LEARN self-confidence. How do I know? I did it myself. What Would Having Confidence Allow You To Do? The first time I remember really struggling with my confidence was age 11 and it was a slippery slope from there. I let it dominate my life, I wouldn’t go anywhere by myself, never felt good enough. When I hit 21, fresh out of university and looking for a new job I was going to interview after interview and not getting anywhere (!) The feedback was always my lack of confidence, that I didn’t stand out, I knew something had to change. It’s Only Now, Over A Decade Later, That I Actually Realise What I Did After That Realisation. From that moment of realisation I went on a mission to change things and I actually TRAINED myself to be more confident. I thought It was a classic case of fake it till you make it.  I was confident yes…but only in ONE area of my life, my job. So I set about trying to work out what I did, how I did it and how I could learn to do it in other areas of my life. Here’s A List Of All The Things I Found Along The Way, Through Years Of Trial And Error, That May Help If You’re Struggling. Push yourself outside your comfort zone. The more you push yourself through all those uncomfortable little moments the more you grow in confidence. Not taking action creates fear and doubt whereas taking action increases your courage and confidence. Stay away from negativity. Analyse who you spend your time with. Do you have friends that always bring you or put you down? Limit your time with them! Be prepared. Often when we don’t feel confident feeling unprepared or like we don’t know enough lies at the route of it, how can you make sure you DO know enough and you ARE prepared? Make a list of all the things you are proud of accomplishing. Go all the way back to school. When you’re feeling like you ‘can’t’ do something look at this list. Random acts of kindness. Do something nice for someone else. The sense of appreciation and gratitude you will feel from them will give you a skip in your step in no time and boost your self-worth. What habits do you have that you don’t like? Change them, you’re not stuck with them! Focus on solutions, not problems. What you focus on grows so focus less on the problem (I’m not good enough, I can’t because…etc) and more about what you can do about it. Find a hobby. Something you love doing and are good at. The more areas you can have where you can create a sense of accomplishment the more confident you will feel. Learn to accept compliments. Don’t put yourself down when someone compliments you. Force yourself to just say ‘thank you’ because guess what…giving someone a compliment feels good if you don’t accept it you’re taking that feeling away from someone else too! Set small goals for you to achieve. The more small things you can achieve the more you grow in confidence. Set some goals and make them specific and give them a deadline. Identify and become aware of your negative self-talk and thoughts. The more you’re aware of them the more you can reframe the thought and switch them off. Affirmations. You may feel ridiculous at first saying affirmations but trust me they work! Write down 3 that work for you and say them every day. Fake it till you make it. It’s an oldie but a goodie, not perfect in isolation but a good way to get started. Visualise yourself where you want to be. Write it down if you can, getting really clear on who and where you want to be and feel the feelings of being there can be so powerful. Question your inner critic. Look for evidence, is there more evidence to support that you aren’t good enough or you are? Celebrate the small stuff. Don’t play down things you’re proud of. Celebrate! Social media declutter. Turn your social media into a force for good! Delete, unfollow, follow accounts and pages that make you feel good…whatever you need to do to make it more positive..do it! Write a list of what you do like about yourself. If you struggle, ask your close friends what they like about you. It can feel awkward to do but so worth it!! Every Time you’re feeling down on yourself, read it! Stop caring what other people think. Ask yourself if that person’s opinion REALLY matters! Think about any areas of your life where you ARE confident. Get curious about why you’re confident in that area. Look at criticism and failure as an opportunity to learn rather than something negative. You WILL grow from it. Ask yourself. If your best friend were you what would you say to them? Stop being who you think people expect you to be and be who you are! Don’t try to fit anyone else’s mold, be unashamedly you, there’s only one of you…own it! Realise that YOU are in control of how you feel. You’re perfect just as you are and don’t need anyone else to validate you.

Do you struggle with your confidence? Do you feel like it holds you back from doing things that you want to achieve? Going places you want to go? Guess what…it doesn’t have to stay that way! You can actually LEARN self-confidence. How do I know? I did it myself. What Would Having Confidence Allow You To Do? The first time I remember really struggling with my confidence was age 11 and it was a slippery slope from there. I let it dominate my life, I wouldn’t go anywhere by myself, never felt good enough. When I hit 21, fresh out of university and looking for a new job I was going to interview after interview and not getting anywhere (!) The feedback was always my lack of confidence, that I didn’t stand out, I knew something had to change. It’s Only Now, Over A Decade Later, That I Actually Realise What I Did After That Realisation. From that moment of realisation I went on a mission to change things and I actually TRAINED myself to be more confident. I thought It was a classic case of fake it till you make it.  I was confident yes…but only in ONE area of my life, my job. So I set about trying to work out what I did, how I did it and how I could learn to do it in other areas of my life. Here’s A List Of All The Things I Found Along The Way, Through Years Of Trial And Error, That May Help If You’re Struggling. Push yourself outside your comfort zone. The more you push yourself through all those uncomfortable little moments the more you grow in confidence. Not taking action creates fear and doubt whereas taking action increases your courage and confidence. Stay away from negativity. Analyse who you spend your time with. Do you have friends that always bring you or put you down? Limit your time with them! Be prepared. Often when we don’t feel confident feeling unprepared or like we don’t know enough lies at the route of it, how can you make sure you DO know enough and you ARE prepared? Make a list of all the things you are proud of accomplishing. Go all the way back to school. When you’re feeling like you ‘can’t’ do something look at this list. Random acts of kindness. Do something nice for someone else. The sense of appreciation and gratitude you will feel from them will give you a skip in your step in no time and boost your self-worth. What habits do you have that you don’t like? Change them, you’re not stuck with them! Focus on solutions, not problems. What you focus on grows so focus less on the problem (I’m not good enough, I can’t because…etc) and more about what you can do about it. Find a hobby. Something you love doing and are good at. The more areas you can have where you can create a sense of accomplishment the more confident you will feel. Learn to accept compliments. Don’t put yourself down when someone compliments you. Force yourself to just say ‘thank you’ because guess what…giving someone a compliment feels good if you don’t accept it you’re taking that feeling away from someone else too! Set small goals for you to achieve. The more small things you can achieve the more you grow in confidence. Set some goals and make them specific and give them a deadline. Identify and become aware of your negative self-talk and thoughts. The more you’re aware of them the more you can reframe the thought and switch them off. Affirmations. You may feel ridiculous at first saying affirmations but trust me they work! Write down 3 that work for you and say them every day. Fake it till you make it. It’s an oldie but a goodie, not perfect in isolation but a good way to get started. Visualise yourself where you want to be. Write it down if you can, getting really clear on who and where you want to be and feel the feelings of being there can be so powerful. Question your inner critic. Look for evidence, is there more evidence to support that you aren’t good enough or you are? Celebrate the small stuff. Don’t play down things you’re proud of. Celebrate! Social media declutter. Turn your social media into a force for good! Delete, unfollow, follow accounts and pages that make you feel good…whatever you need to do to make it more positive..do it! Write a list of what you do like about yourself. If you struggle, ask your close friends what they like about you. It can feel awkward to do but so worth it!! Every Time you’re feeling down on yourself, read it! Stop caring what other people think. Ask yourself if that person’s opinion REALLY matters! Think about any areas of your life where you ARE confident. Get curious about why you’re confident in that area. Look at criticism and failure as an opportunity to learn rather than something negative. You WILL grow from it. Ask yourself. If your best friend were you what would you say to them? Stop being who you think people expect you to be and be who you are! Don’t try to fit anyone else’s mold, be unashamedly you, there’s only one of you…own it! Realise that YOU are in control of how you feel. You’re perfect just as you are and don’t need anyone else to validate you.

003 - How To Be More Confident

 For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/   For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants   Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you:   https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min   To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/   Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/     Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @imfranexcell and tag me into your key takeaways!  Do you have a good routine set up for your day?     Do you feel productive and in control?     Or, like you’re winging it, getting nothing done and unable to change old habits?   Have you recently gone full time in your business and you’re wondering where your mojo and ability to actually get stuff done has disappeared to?!   You’re not alone.   Something I work on a HUGE amount with my clients is setting up a routine, particularly if it’s working around a job or if you’ve just left one.   Not just a routine but one that will get rid of old unhelpful habits and set up new, helpful ones that help get you where you want to go.   Intuitively you know what the bad habits you want to get rid of are, and you know the good habits you WANT to start…but you’re still doing the bad habits...and not doing the good!   The annoying thing is, we instinctively know that routine is good for us because we teach it to our kids.    And usually, it’s what we had when we were kids.  We know what’s best for us really!     But it’s like this little rebel gremlin takes hold and does the opposite...because it can!   When we’ve been in some sort of routine for our whole lives it’s really easy to think you can relax it when you’re your own boss.  And to an extent you can.   However, if you want to stay off the overwhelm and procrastination train then it’s a good idea to create a new one that will allow you to create success and live the life that you deserve.    It’s also easy to think that a routine is constricting in some way, but it’s actually very VERY freeing.  As with most things it depends how you choose to look at it.   So what do I mean when I’m talking about routine?   A routine is something that’s in place to allow you to create habits that serve you.  That make your life better. And in turn, stop the habits that can create a negative effect on your mindset, your business or your life.   It’s something that allows us to use the way the brain works to our advantage.  To create auto pilot habits that allow us to live in the best possible way. To create high performance and limit some of the inevitable mindset gremlins as best we can.   So why else do we want a routine in our life?   Routine helps you be far more intentional with your day.  So instead of getting up and feeling like you’re just floundering and fighting fires every day, you know what you’re doing.    You create so much extra head space just by knowing ‘what comes next’ because it takes the thinking out of it.   Routine creates patience and  discipline which in my opinion and experience are two of the key ingredients for success and happiness. It helps you let go of the attachment to the outcome and understand how much control you have over your own situation.   It helps to get rid of overwhelm.  It literally reduces the amount you need to think and the decisions you have to make.  So having a routine will actually create more time for you.  It will also increase your organisation and focus because it makes you hone in on the real priorities, so you have more clarity and can get more done in less time.   Routine reduces stress because there are habits built into your routine to specifically do that for you.  Plus it will mean that self care and down time are always a part of your life. Everything just starts to slot around it like magic!   Routine also massively increases productivity.  With just a few simple habits and daily routines you can dramatically turn around the amount you can get done in the time you have. (Read more in How To Find More Time In Your Day Here)   Routine makes it easier for you to do the things you want to, but feel like effort.  It can eliminate decision fatigue every day by planning out things like meals and outfits in advance.     Being in a routine takes a lot of the ‘thought’ out of things.  You’re learning to use the fact that 95-99% of everything you do is driven by your unconscious to your advantage.     Think about how long you spend every day working out what you’re going to wear.  What you’re going to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner, should you do this or that next...imagine how much time and head space not having to do that would free up for you.     Having a routine helps you rewire your brain for the habits that you want.  For the person you want to be. For the energy you want to have. It literally gives you the very best chance for success.   So worth having a little think about hmmm?!   Some ideas to ponder on and a few of my little routines:   Journal morning and/or evening.   I use my  journaling for the non dear diary type method to make sure my brain is always wired how I like it, for positivity, kindness, gratitude, etc.  How I want to live my life. In 5 minutes per day.   I’ve tried lots of different ways and I go through phases of journaling in the morning but I'm much more of an evening journaler, going over my day and finishing on a high. I do however ask myself every morning what i’m looking forward to and what i’m grateful for so it’s the same thing...just inside my head and not on paper!    Get out for a walk first thing or at lunchtime My favourite way to start the day is to take Mr Milo our rescue pup out for an hour and a half.  We go to the woods or down by the canal and I listen to audio books or podcasts OR listen to what’s going on around me and turn it into a mindful walk.    It’s amazing what you hear and see when you’re focusing on it. Lunchtime is another good time, particularly if you’re feeling like you’re lost your mojo a little bit.  It’s like a little mindset reset. Decide what works for you and do that.   Stretch or workout Now, I KNOW this is amazing and I was in a routine for 2 years with working out and I fell off the wagon so i’m going to be completely honest and say i’m getting back on it at the moment.    This is working out aside from my daily walking. I always do between 10-20,000 steps but I WANT to get back into more resistance training. I do however make sure I do some stretches in the bathroom every morning while I’m brushing my teeth.    Drink more water Oh my goodness when you start making sure you get enough water you will see how much not having enough has been affecting you.    I carry a big water bottle with me everywhere I go so it’s always there to remind me to drink. You’ll lose weight, feel clear headed, less groggy, less moody, your skin will look better.  It’s magic stuff that so many of us take for granted.   Batching your food for the week I don’t do this one because I'm lucky enough to have an incredible chef for a husband so I don’t need to think about it BUT, if I didn’t then the power of batching a few things and putting them in the freezer creates so much head space it’s unreal.    It makes you eat healthier too. I’ve done it in the past and it definitely makes a difference. One shop, half a day for batch cooking...done dealio! I do the same thing with batching content. The more similar tasks you can bundle together the less brain power it uses.   Meditation I don’t really need to say any more about this, we all know the incredible benefits meditation has.  So how can you get it into your routine. What’s a good time of the day for you? Morning? Evening? Lunchtime?    When do you KNOW you can fit in 5-10 minutes?  My favourite apps are Calm, Headspace and Omvana by Mindvalley.   How do you start your morning? I get up at 6am and my phone is NOT my alarm.  I have a watch that vibrates to wake me up. I make sure I don’t look at my phone until I’m ready for the day or out of the house.    I will watch something on Netflix if my Kindle has run out of juice while I get ready (ideally something positive or a documentary) but i’ll make sure notifications are on do not disturb from 9pm to 9am and I won’t check unless I really have to.   Like I mentioned, My first thoughts are ‘what are you grateful for today?’    I’ll have hot water and lemon or a cup of Earl Grey and have my breakfast.  I like to have a good 2 hours before I start work so I always start ready and raring to go, instead of flustered or overwhelmed.   How are you starting yours?  Coffee? The news? Instagram scroll into the comparison loop of doom? Checking emails?   How do you finish your day? I make sure I’m off any computers before 9pm.  I’m asleep by 10pm so usually I head to bed to write in my journal or read something so I give myself time to switch off.    No caffeine past 1pm.   TRY not to eat 3 hours before bedtime...unfortunately when someone else is lovingly cooking your meals this doesn’t always happen but that’s the ideal!   I also don’t drink much alcohol these days because it really affects my sleep and I can’t stand the ‘Hangxiety.’ If there’s a special occasion or something I really want to drink at i’ll plan my next day accordingly in advance to not have to be a super productive one ha!   What does your  ideal day look like? You can’t expect to live it if you don’t know what it is.  So map it out from morning to going to bed. This will also help you with time blocking and batching similar tasks together and creating a structure for your day.   So, hopefully this has helped you see the power of creating a routine for yourself and all the ways it helps rather than hinders.  It’s not a way to imprison yourself or restrict yourself in a negative way, it’s all positive. Positive habits for your well being, head space, productivity, success and performance.    It's about making it as easy for yourself as you can to create the habits in the first place.   It’s a win win situation where you get to have your brain start to work FOR you rather than against you. Magic!   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx

<ul> <li>For more, head over to: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.franexcell.com/</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you:</li> </ul> <ul> <li><a href="https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: <a href="https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @imfranexcell and tag me into your key takeaways!</li> </ul> Do you have a good routine set up for your day?   Do you feel productive and in control?   Or, like you’re winging it, getting nothing done and unable to change old habits? Have you recently gone full time in your business and you’re wondering where your mojo and ability to actually get stuff done has disappeared to?! You’re not alone. Something I work on a HUGE amount with my clients is setting up a routine, particularly if it’s working around a job or if you’ve just left one. Not just a routine but one that will get rid of old unhelpful habits and set up new, helpful ones that help get you where you want to go. Intuitively you know what the bad habits you want to get rid of are, and you know the good habits you WANT to start…but you’re still doing the bad habits...and not doing the good! The annoying thing is, we instinctively know that routine is good for us because we teach it to our kids.  And usually, it’s what we had when we were kids.  We know what’s best for us really!   But it’s like this little rebel gremlin takes hold and does the opposite...because it can! When we’ve been in some sort of routine for our whole lives it’s really easy to think you can relax it when you’re your own boss.  And to an extent you can. However, if you want to stay off the <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/overwhelmtoaction/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">overwhelm</a> and <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/stopprocrastinating/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">procrastination</a> train then it’s a good idea to create a new one that will allow you to create success and live the life that you deserve.  It’s also easy to think that a routine is constricting in some way, but it’s actually very VERY freeing.  As with most things it depends how you choose to look at it.   So what do I mean when I’m talking about routine? A routine is something that’s in place to allow you to create habits that serve you.  That make your life better. And in turn, stop the habits that can create a negative effect on your mindset, your business or your life. It’s something that allows us to use the way the brain works to our advantage.  To create auto pilot habits that allow us to live in the best possible way. To create high performance and limit some of the inevitable mindset gremlins as best we can.   So why else do we want a routine in our life? Routine helps you be far more intentional with your day.  So instead of getting up and feeling like you’re just floundering and fighting fires every day, you know what you’re doing.  You create so much extra head space just by knowing ‘what comes next’ because it takes the thinking out of it. Routine creates patience and <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/why-self-discipline-is-the-key-to-success/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> discipline</a> which in my opinion and experience are two of the key ingredients for success and happiness. It helps you let go of the attachment to the outcome and understand how much control you have over your own situation. It helps to get rid of overwhelm.  It literally reduces the amount you need to think and the decisions you have to make.  So having a routine will actually create more time for you.  It will also increase your organisation and <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/how-to-focus/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">focus</a> because it makes you hone in on the real priorities, so you have more clarity and can get more done in less time. Routine reduces <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/the-thing-about-stress/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">stress</a> because there are habits built into your routine to specifically do that for you.  Plus it will mean that <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/theres-no-love-like-self-love/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">self care</a> and down time are always a part of your life. Everything just starts to slot around it like magic! Routine also massively increases productivity.  With just a few simple habits and daily routines you can dramatically turn around the amount you can get done in the time you have. (Read more in <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/13-ways-find-time/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">How To Find More Time In Your Day Here</a>) Routine makes it easier for you to do the things you want to, but feel like effort.  It can eliminate decision fatigue every day by planning out things like meals and outfits in advance.   Being in a routine takes a lot of the ‘thought’ out of things.  You’re learning to use the fact that 95-99% of everything you do is driven by your unconscious to your advantage.   Think about how long you spend every day working out what you’re going to wear.  What you’re going to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner, should you do this or that next...imagine how much time and head space not having to do that would free up for you.   Having a routine helps you rewire your brain for the habits that you want.  For the person you want to be. For the energy you want to have. It literally gives you the very best chance for success. So worth having a little think about hmmm?!   Some ideas to ponder on and a few of my little routines:   Journal morning and/or evening.   I use my <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/use-journal-feel-better-journalling-non-dear-diary-type/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> journaling for the non dear diary type</a> method to make sure my brain is always wired how I like it, for positivity, <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/kindness-2/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">kindness</a>, <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/gratitude/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">gratitude</a>, etc.  How I want to live my life. In 5 minutes per day. I’ve tried lots of different ways and I go through phases of journaling in the morning but I'm much more of an evening journaler, going over my day and finishing on a high. I do however ask myself every morning what i’m looking forward to and what i’m grateful for so it’s the same thing...just inside my head and not on paper!    Get out for a walk first thing or at lunchtime My favourite way to start the day is to take Mr Milo our rescue pup out for an hour and a half.  We go to the woods or down by the canal and I listen to audio books or podcasts OR listen to what’s going on around me and turn it into a mindful walk.  It’s amazing what you hear and see when you’re focusing on it. Lunchtime is another good time, particularly if you’re feeling like you’re <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/change-your-state-quickly/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">lost your mojo</a> a little bit.  It’s like a little mindset reset. Decide what works for you and do that. Stretch or workout Now, I KNOW this is amazing and I was in a routine for 2 years with working out and I fell off the wagon so i’m going to be completely honest and say i’m getting back on it at the moment.  This is working out aside from my daily walking. I always do between 10-20,000 steps but I WANT to get back into more resistance training. I do however make sure I do some stretches in the bathroom every morning while I’m brushing my teeth.  Drink more water Oh my goodness when you start making sure you get enough water you will see how much not having enough has been affecting you.  I carry a big water bottle with me everywhere I go so it’s always there to remind me to drink. You’ll lose weight, feel clear headed, less groggy, less moody, your skin will look better.  It’s magic stuff that so many of us take for granted. Batching your food for the week I don’t do this one because I'm lucky enough to have an incredible chef for a husband so I don’t need to think about it BUT, if I didn’t then the power of batching a few things and putting them in the freezer creates so much head space it’s unreal.  It makes you eat healthier too. I’ve done it in the past and it definitely makes a difference. One shop, half a day for batch cooking...done dealio! I do the same thing with batching content. The more similar tasks you can bundle together the less brain power it uses. Meditation I don’t really need to say any more about this, we all know the incredible benefits meditation has.  So how can you get it into your routine. What’s a good time of the day for you? Morning? Evening? Lunchtime?  When do you KNOW you can fit in 5-10 minutes?  My favourite apps are Calm, Headspace and Omvana by Mindvalley. How do you start your morning? I get up at 6am and my phone is NOT my alarm.  I have a watch that vibrates to wake me up. I make sure I don’t look at my phone until I’m ready for the day or out of the house.  I will watch something on Netflix if my Kindle has run out of juice while I get ready (ideally something positive or a documentary) but i’ll make sure notifications are on do not disturb from 9pm to 9am and I won’t check unless I really have to. Like I mentioned, My first thoughts are ‘what are you grateful for today?’  I’ll have hot water and lemon or a cup of Earl Grey and have my breakfast.  I like to have a good 2 hours before I start work so I always start ready and raring to go, instead of flustered or overwhelmed. How are you starting yours?  Coffee? The news? Instagram scroll into the comparison loop of doom? Checking emails? How do you finish your day? I make sure I’m off any computers before 9pm.  I’m asleep by 10pm so usually I head to bed to write in my journal or read something so I give myself time to switch off.  No caffeine past 1pm. TRY not to eat 3 hours before bedtime...unfortunately when someone else is lovingly cooking your meals this doesn’t always happen but that’s the ideal! I also don’t drink much alcohol these days because it really affects my sleep and I can’t stand the ‘Hangxiety.’ If there’s a special occasion or something I really want to drink at i’ll plan my next day accordingly in advance to not have to be a super productive one ha! What does your <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/product/printable-ideal-day-journal-entry/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> ideal day</a> look like? You can’t expect to live it if you don’t know what it is.  So map it out from morning to going to bed. This will also help you with time blocking and batching similar tasks together and creating a structure for your day. So, hopefully this has helped you see the power of creating a routine for yourself and all the ways it helps rather than hinders.  It’s not a way to imprison yourself or restrict yourself in a negative way, it’s all positive. Positive habits for your well being, head space, productivity, success and performance.  It's about making it as easy for yourself as you can to create the habits in the first place. It’s a win win situation where you get to have your brain start to work FOR you rather than against you. Magic! If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a <a href="https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">free discovery call</a> so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!  Fx

089 - The Power Of Positive Habits And Routine

Why Your Fear Of Judgement Is Holding You Back Show note links: To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/   Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Book in a discovery call with me: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min Check out my printable journal store and to do list here: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables   For more information on this topic head over to: https://www.franexcell.com/judgement/ Fear of judgement is the NUMBER ONE fear stopping entrepreneurs pushing forward and getting visible in their business.   When I created an online poll asking ‘what is the number one thing holding you back in your business’ by FAR the number one thing that got in people’s way is fearing being judged, or not being liked. That worry that you might get negative comments online (or offline!) because you’re not pretty enough, too fat, too boring, not good enough – all the things you can be too much or not enough of.   Remember Fear At Its Most Basic Is False Evidence Appearing Real. That’s it.   What we fear hasn’t even happened yet, it’s not in the now.   When we imagine the predicted outcome of being judged, or not liked we can get totally consumed by it as if it already IS real.  We’re already being judged and that makes us procrastinate and not take action and in turn get frustrated with ourselves and self sabotage in the process. We feel the same physiological feelings as if this judgement or negative comment had already happened so that makes it feel even MORE real…unless we challenge it.   It Got Me Too! Fear of judgement or not being liked plagued me for YEARS…decades even! It stopped me doing SO many things in my first product based business, and honestly was probably part of the reason I quit before I could fail, which DOESN’T need to happen to you. Fear of judgement made me procrastinate over anything that was ‘putting myself out there’ and it actively stopped me taking action…and drove me a bit mad in the process. Better to just not be visible than get judged right? Err…no!   It’s Easy To Believe It’s All YOU The thing is it’s very easy to accept this fear of judgement and lack of self esteem as being ingrained in who we are, and just something that will always be a problem. But it’s not. Not by a long way. I learned to let it go and so can you, you just need to make a few tweaks in your thinking and shift how you see the world and how you see yourself.   We’ve All Been There We’ve all felt ‘judged’ or ‘not liked’ at some point in our lives and it’s a horrible feeling that hugely affects our self esteem.   But the trouble is our brain remembers that horrible feeling and actively stops us putting ourselves out there ‘on purpose’.   The memory centre of the brain is right next to the fear centre of the brain so as it has ‘remembered’ that horrible feeling so clearly before it will do all it can to ‘protect’ you from having it again, and that’s when you start to hold yourself back.   You get that intense feeling of resistance to putting yourself out there.   What If You DO Get Judged Negatively? If you DO get judged negatively one thing I want you to remember is that it’s never actually about you. It’s actually not anything to do with you at all!   People who judge you are the ones with the issue NOT you.   When you can understand that, it’s much easier to let go.   Look at online trolls. Someone has to be seriously unhappy with their lot and their life to be able to write some of those judgmental things.   They do it to make themselves feel better in some way.   It’s that idea of bringing someone else down so you can stand taller.   Does an online trolls opinion actually REALLY matter?  Hell no!   Empathy Over Anger If you can try to look at those people with empathy over anger or hurt then it’s not going to sting you anywhere NEAR as much.   A happy, well rounded individual just does NOT behave like that, right?! So feel sorry for them and their miserable life. A little reframe for you on negative comments is to start looking forward to them.   People often say you’ve ‘made it’ when you get your first troll because you’re standing for what you believe in, you’re polarising.   It means people are listening and are bothered enough to comment in the first place. You certainly aren’t being ignored anymore! Usually it means they look at you as an ‘influence’ and you’re doing something right! Learn to laugh at them and really imagine the person on the other side of the negative comment, that ‘keyboard warrior’ with nothing better to do than try and tear other people down.  Imagine them as the grouch from sesame street if that helps!   Who Is The Judge Really? The other thing with judgement is you’re only really afraid of being judged on the things you find yourself judging other people on. It’s like a negative cycle of judgement that SOMEONE has to quit in order to stop it.   If you judge someone on something, how they behave, how they look, what they’re wearing (or not wearing ha!) you then fully expect to be judged on the same thing. When you can start to catch yourself in a moment of judgement and stop it, you’ll start to do it less, then you WILL fear it less! It’s a reflection of OUR OWN insecurities so stop judging yourself and get out of the habit of judging other people that’s really going to help. It’s often said that the things we don’t like in other people is because we see part of it in ourselves.  It’s either a way we WISH we were (so, jealousy that we’re not) or something that is a part of us that we don’t actually like.   Here’s A Few Things You Can Do To Help Stop caring, ask yourself if it really matters? You don’t NEED other people’s opinions to validate you owning your awesomeness as long as YOU believe in what you’re putting out in the world, the fear tends to come when we don’t (so that’s where you need a little work on confidence and self belief).   Create a tribe that DO have your back and surround yourself with people who DO believe in you and help drive you forward, that will help you grow in confidence as you’ll have more people telling you you’re awesome at what you do…which is something we don’t get in our own businesses but we did from our jobs. Get intentional about not being liked by the RIGHT people.   You’ve heard the phrase ‘your vibe attracts your tribe’ you actively WANT to attract the right people and turn off the wrong ones, if you’re intentional about it it won’t hurt so much. Are they actually even judging you…or are they actually jealous because they want what you have and don’t have the guts to do what you’re doing? Ask yourself, what’s the best/worst case scenario if you do/don’t push through this fear of judgement? Ponder on this…What do you bring into your life by not fearing being judged or not being liked anymore?   Remember These Nuggets Remember that the fear centre in our brains feels like it’s working FOR us but actually it’s working against us.   It’s not being helpful but it really is your CHOICE if you listen to it or not. Move TOWARDS your fear.  It really is the best way to get through it.  Acknowledge it and let it fuel you in the knowledge that there is usually something great on the other side of it.   Don’t let it hold you back.   Whenever I feel fear or resistance I push through it because I know the unicorns and rainbows are on the other side. 😉 Understand That It’s Part Of The Process Something to be aware of with ALL of this is it can and it will make you procrastinate over the things you know you need to get done to get yourself out there and get visible but just can’t seem to make yourself. The BIGGEST thing I want you to take away from this is this…If people don’t know who you are and where you are and that YOU can solve their problems…then you can’t solve their problems! Remember you’re the only one that can put your message into the world that somebody else needs to hear right at that time, said by YOU! It may not feel like it right now but you can 100% retrain your brain to think differently about this. I did it, so can you! Let’s get you out into that big wide world, doing the thing that only YOU can do! If you want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability then come join me in my private community below  or book in a free discovery call to see if we’re a good fit to work together!! Fx

Why Your Fear Of Judgement Is Holding You Back Show note links: To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/</a> Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: <a href="https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/</a> Book in a discovery call with me: <a href="https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min</a> Check out my printable journal store and to do list here: <a href="https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables</a> For more information on this topic head over to: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/judgement/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.franexcell.com/judgement/</a> Fear of judgement is the NUMBER ONE fear stopping entrepreneurs pushing forward and getting visible in their business.   When I created an online poll asking ‘what is the number one thing holding you back in your business’ by FAR the number one thing that got in people’s way is fearing being judged, or not being liked. That worry that you might get negative comments online (or offline!) because you’re not pretty enough, too fat, too boring, not good enough – all the things you can be too much or not enough of. Remember Fear At Its Most Basic Is False Evidence Appearing Real. That’s it.   What we fear hasn’t even happened yet, it’s not in the now.   When we imagine the predicted outcome of being judged, or not liked we can get totally consumed by it as if it already IS real.  We’re already being judged and that makes us procrastinate and not take action and in turn get frustrated with ourselves and self sabotage in the process. We feel the same physiological feelings as if this judgement or negative comment had already happened so that makes it feel even MORE real…unless we challenge it. It Got Me Too! Fear of judgement or not being liked plagued me for YEARS…decades even! It stopped me doing SO many things in my first product based business, and honestly was probably part of the reason I quit before I could fail, which DOESN’T need to happen to you. Fear of judgement made me procrastinate over anything that was ‘putting myself out there’ and it actively stopped me taking action…and drove me a bit mad in the process. Better to just not be visible than get judged right? Err…no! It’s Easy To Believe It’s All YOU The thing is it’s very easy to accept this fear of judgement and lack of self esteem as being ingrained in who we are, and just something that will always be a problem. But it’s not. Not by a long way. I learned to let it go and so can you, you just need to make a few tweaks in your thinking and shift how you see the world and how you see yourself. We’ve All Been There We’ve all felt ‘judged’ or ‘not liked’ at some point in our lives and it’s a horrible feeling that hugely affects our self esteem.   But the trouble is our brain remembers that horrible feeling and actively stops us putting ourselves out there ‘on purpose’.   The memory centre of the brain is right next to the fear centre of the brain so as it has ‘remembered’ that horrible feeling so clearly before it will do all it can to ‘protect’ you from having it again, and that’s when you start to hold yourself back.   You get that intense feeling of resistance to putting yourself out there. What If You DO Get Judged Negatively? If you DO get judged negatively one thing I want you to remember is that it’s never actually about you. It’s actually not anything to do with you at all!   People who judge you are the ones with the issue NOT you.   When you can understand that, it’s much easier to let go.   Look at online trolls. Someone has to be seriously unhappy with their lot and their life to be able to write some of those judgmental things.   They do it to make themselves feel better in some way.   It’s that idea of bringing someone else down so you can stand taller.   Does an online trolls opinion actually REALLY matter?  Hell no! Empathy Over Anger If you can try to look at those people with empathy over anger or hurt then it’s not going to sting you anywhere NEAR as much.   A happy, well rounded individual just does NOT behave like that, right?! So feel sorry for them and their miserable life. A little reframe for you on negative comments is to start looking forward to them.   People often say you’ve ‘made it’ when you get your first troll because you’re standing for what you believe in, you’re polarising.   It means people are listening and are bothered enough to comment in the first place. You certainly aren’t being ignored anymore! Usually it means they look at you as an ‘influence’ and you’re doing something right! Learn to laugh at them and really imagine the person on the other side of the negative comment, that ‘keyboard warrior’ with nothing better to do than try and tear other people down.  Imagine them as the grouch from sesame street if that helps! Who Is The Judge Really? The other thing with judgement is you’re only really afraid of being judged on the things you find yourself judging other people on. It’s like a negative cycle of judgement that SOMEONE has to quit in order to stop it.   If you judge someone on something, how they behave, how they look, what they’re wearing (or not wearing ha!) you then fully expect to be judged on the same thing. When you can start to catch yourself in a moment of judgement and stop it, you’ll start to do it less, then you WILL fear it less! It’s a reflection of OUR OWN insecurities so stop judging yourself and get out of the habit of judging other people that’s really going to help. It’s often said that the things we don’t like in other people is because we see part of it in ourselves.  It’s either a way we WISH we were (so, jealousy that we’re not) or something that is a part of us that we don’t actually like. Here’s A Few Things You Can Do To Help Stop caring, ask yourself if it really matters? You don’t NEED other people’s opinions to validate you owning your awesomeness as long as YOU believe in what you’re putting out in the world, the fear tends to come when we don’t (so that’s where you need a little work on <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/increaseyourconfidence/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">confidence</a> and <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/selfbeliefjournalprompts/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">self belief</a>).   Create a tribe that DO have your back and surround yourself with people who DO believe in you and help drive you forward, that will help you grow in confidence as you’ll have more people telling you you’re awesome at what you do…which is something we don’t get in our own businesses but we did from our jobs. Get intentional about not being liked by the RIGHT people.   You’ve heard the phrase ‘your vibe attracts your tribe’ you actively WANT to attract the right people and turn off the wrong ones, if you’re intentional about it it won’t hurt so much. Are they actually even judging you…or are they actually jealous because they want what you have and don’t have the guts to do what you’re doing? Ask yourself, what’s the best/worst case scenario if you do/don’t push through this fear of judgement? Ponder on this…What do you bring into your life by not fearing being judged or not being liked anymore? Remember These Nuggets Remember that the fear centre in our brains feels like it’s working FOR us but actually it’s working against us.   It’s not being helpful but it really is your CHOICE if you listen to it or not. Move TOWARDS your <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/fear/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">fear</a>.  It really is the best way to get through it.  Acknowledge it and let it fuel you in the knowledge that there is usually something great on the other side of it.   Don’t let it hold you back.   Whenever I feel fear or resistance I push through it because I know the unicorns and rainbows are on the other side. 😉 Understand That It’s Part Of The Process Something to be aware of with ALL of this is it can and it will make you procrastinate over the things you know you need to get done to get yourself out there and get visible but just can’t seem to make yourself. The BIGGEST thing I want you to take away from this is this…If people don’t know who you are and where you are and that YOU can solve their problems…then you can’t solve their problems! Remember you’re the only one that can put your message into the world that somebody else needs to hear right at that time, said by YOU! It may not feel like it right now but you can 100% retrain your brain to think differently about this. I did it, so can you! Let’s get you out into that big wide world, doing the thing that only YOU can do! If you want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability then come join me in my private community below  or book in a free discovery call to see if we’re a good fit to work together!! Fx

028 - How Your Fear Of Judgement Is Holding You Back

This week's podcast episode is all about how to beat procrastination. Ahhh procrastination….the thing that gets in the way of all those things we want to do or need to do but just can’t seem to do ourselves. Procrastination often rears its ugly head because of, among other things, overwhelm, fear of failure, lack of motivation, not knowing where to start or perfectionism. It can literally stop us in our tracks and cause us to waste precious time in getting where we want to be. In this week's podcast episode I talk you through practical ways to beat the procrastination monster and get stuff done. Find out more here.

This week's podcast episode is all about how to beat procrastination. Ahhh procrastination….the thing that gets in the way of all those things we want to do or need to do but just can’t seem to do ourselves. Procrastination often rears its ugly head because of, among other things, overwhelm, fear of failure, lack of motivation, not knowing where to start or perfectionism. It can literally stop us in our tracks and cause us to waste precious time in getting where we want to be. In this week's podcast episode I talk you through practical ways to beat the procrastination monster and get stuff done. Find out more <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/16-ways-to-stop-procrastinating-and-get-stuff-done/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>.

002 - How to stop procrastinating

Why you need to pay attention to your thoughts Show note links: For more on this head to: https://www.franexcell.com/thoughts For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind:  https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants/ Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/ Check out my printable journal store here: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables Why you need to pay attention to your thoughts   I’m going to kick this off with a chinese proverb. ‘Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words. Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions. Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits. Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character. Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny.’   OK so this is a BIG subject and one that when you can REALLY grasp it, can completely change your life.     You’ve all heard people saying that ‘thoughts become things’ I’m sure but never really looked into the practicalities of what that means, or considered it a bit woo so totally discounted it!   The way we think DIRECTLY affects our lives and this is something I was talking about a LOT at Positive Pants Planning Live last week.   There is SO much to explore so i’ll try to keep it as simple as possible for now.   It’s basically how we end up with self fulfilling prophecies, prove ourselves right and then repeat patterns that we don’t want in our lives.     It creates coding in your subconscious that then affects what you do and how you behave.   Thoughts directly influence the way you feel about something.   Feelings, or the way you specifically feel, about something influences the actions you then do or don’t take.   Those actions directly create the results that you see in your life.  You either do, or don’t have the outcome you wanted, or you have exactly the outcome you predicted, positive or negative.   Those results then reinforce your original thoughts, which in turn become your beliefs and form both thinking and behaviour habits.   Still with me?   Essentially, if we look at this we can see that everything begins and ends with thoughts and beliefs yes?   So if we want to influence the way we feel about things or the actions that we take, what do we need to focus on changing?!   Your THOUGHTS and in turn your BELIEFS.   At the end of the day if you don’t believe something is possible for you then it really won’t be.  You will absolutely self-sabotage to prove yourself right!   This goes some way to explain the Law of Attraction in slightly more practical terms.   When you BELIEVE something can be yours it influences your thoughts, then your feelings, then your ACTIONS (which is the KEY piece of the puzzle that people often miss out when talking about LOA!) and in turn your results.   What this also does is tell your Reticular Activating System (RAS) what to filter out for you.     Now what the heck is the RAS?   The RAS is a group of nerves at your brain stem and one of it’s (many) functions is essentially to act as your brain’s spam filter.   We’re bombarded on a second by second basis with millions of pieces of information to process that simply wouldn’t be possible.  It would be completely overwhelming sensory overload so the RAS gets to work to filter out what you need.   Those little moments where you see the right ad, hear the right conversation, meet the right person, you’re in a noisy crowded room and you still manage to hear your name, all those things.  You have essentially been telling it what to filter out for you.   The trouble is it’s based on any parameters that YOU give it and when you’re not aware of that that’s when things can get tricky.     It’s based around YOUR value system, your beliefs and your thoughts.  It’s kind of that friend that’s desperately trying to please you but getting it really wrong sometimes.   It filters out all the evidence you need to reinforce what you’re asking it to.  It WANTS you to be right. So if you believe something about yourself it will make sure it shows you alllll the reasons you’re right and NONE of the evidence that you’re not.  It will show you black and white but none of the grey (unless you ask it to!). So you can see how this can go awry right?   BUT, the fun bit is that it’s all in your hands!   YOU get to tell it what you want.   This is where all the times i’ve told you that affirmations, meditation, visualisation aren’t woo woo becomes even more clear and you start to get on board my woo ‘what if’ train.   When you start to use these tools which i’ve covered before and use them regularly and start to shift your thinking you literally become a different person, and THAT person is the one who gets what they want out of life.  Who gets out of the frustration loop and stops patterns repeating themselves.   And hopefully it puts a little fire in your belly to work out what those thoughts and beliefs are that are keeping you stuck, so you can get to work changing them.   Hopefully it’s shown you the importance of setting proper goals, really being clear and KNOWING what you want and going through all the different processes of actually TELLING your brain what you want!   There are so many ways that our brain can work against us in this game but this is very much a way that we can start to get it to work WITH us and FOR us.   Think about what labels you’ve given yourself throughout your life.  Think about the ‘I always’ and ‘I never’ statements that you use about yourself.   Think about the beliefs you have around your business, catch yourself in those negative thought processes that you want to get rid of  so you can challenge them.   Start to look for any evidence you can to prove yourself wrong.   So, to give you even more evidence spend a little time thinking about something you want to consider a ‘sign’.     Something that will empirically prove to you that this is something you can do.     So pick anything, keep it simple.  Let’s go with a fox for example. Wake up and think about how you want to see a fox today. You will start to notice all the times and occasions that you start to spot foxes.  You will start to notice it will be in adverts, images, shop display windows, logos, car stickers you’ll start to see it everywhere.   Once you’ve done that and you’re ‘in’ then do the important work.  Start telling your brain who you want to be, what you want to see, what you want to achieve and then let the magic happen.   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!   Fx

Why you need to pay attention to your thoughts Show note links: For more on this head to: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/thoughts" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.franexcell.com/thoughts</a> For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind:  <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants/</a> Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: <a href="https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min</a> To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/</a> Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: <a href="https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/</a> Check out my printable journal store here: <a href="https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables</a> Why you need to pay attention to your thoughts I’m going to kick this off with a chinese proverb. ‘Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words. Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions. Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits. Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character. Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny.’ OK so this is a BIG subject and one that when you can REALLY grasp it, can completely change your life.   You’ve all heard people saying that ‘thoughts become things’ I’m sure but never really looked into the practicalities of what that means, or considered it a bit woo so totally discounted it! The way we think DIRECTLY affects our lives and this is something I was talking about a LOT at Positive Pants Planning Live last week. There is SO much to explore so i’ll try to keep it as simple as possible for now. It’s basically how we end up with self fulfilling prophecies, prove ourselves right and then repeat patterns that we don’t want in our lives.   It creates coding in your subconscious that then affects what you do and how you behave. Thoughts directly influence the way you feel about something. Feelings, or the way you specifically feel, about something influences the actions you then do or don’t take. Those actions directly create the results that you see in your life.  You either do, or don’t have the outcome you wanted, or you have exactly the outcome you predicted, positive or negative. Those results then reinforce your original thoughts, which in turn become your beliefs and form both thinking and behaviour habits. Still with me? Essentially, if we look at this we can see that everything begins and ends with thoughts and beliefs yes? So if we want to influence the way we feel about things or the actions that we take, what do we need to focus on changing?! Your THOUGHTS and in turn your BELIEFS. At the end of the day if you don’t believe something is possible for you then it really won’t be.  You will absolutely self-sabotage to prove yourself right! This goes some way to explain the Law of Attraction in slightly more practical terms. When you BELIEVE something can be yours it influences your thoughts, then your feelings, then your ACTIONS (which is the KEY piece of the puzzle that people often miss out when talking about LOA!) and in turn your results. What this also does is tell your Reticular Activating System (RAS) what to filter out for you.   Now what the heck is the RAS? The RAS is a group of nerves at your brain stem and one of it’s (many) functions is essentially to act as your brain’s spam filter. We’re bombarded on a second by second basis with millions of pieces of information to process that simply wouldn’t be possible.  It would be completely overwhelming sensory overload so the RAS gets to work to filter out what you need. Those little moments where you see the right ad, hear the right conversation, meet the right person, you’re in a noisy crowded room and you still manage to hear your name, all those things.  You have essentially been telling it what to filter out for you. The trouble is it’s based on any parameters that YOU give it and when you’re not aware of that that’s when things can get tricky.   It’s based around YOUR value system, your beliefs and your thoughts.  It’s kind of that friend that’s desperately trying to please you but getting it really wrong sometimes. It filters out all the evidence you need to reinforce what you’re asking it to.  It WANTS you to be right. So if you believe something about yourself it will make sure it shows you alllll the reasons you’re right and NONE of the evidence that you’re not.  It will show you black and white but none of the grey (unless you ask it to!). So you can see how this can go awry right? BUT, the fun bit is that it’s all in your hands! YOU get to tell it what you want. This is where all the times i’ve told you that affirmations, meditation, visualisation aren’t woo woo becomes even more clear and you start to get on board my woo ‘what if’ train. When you start to use these tools which i’ve covered before and use them regularly and start to shift your thinking you literally become a different person, and THAT person is the one who gets what they want out of life.  Who gets out of the frustration loop and stops patterns repeating themselves. And hopefully it puts a little fire in your belly to work out what those thoughts and beliefs are that are keeping you stuck, so you can get to work changing them. Hopefully it’s shown you the importance of setting proper goals, really being clear and KNOWING what you want and going through all the different processes of actually TELLING your brain what you want! There are so many ways that our brain can work against us in this game but this is very much a way that we can start to get it to work WITH us and FOR us. Think about what labels you’ve given yourself throughout your life.  Think about the ‘I always’ and ‘I never’ statements that you use about yourself. Think about the beliefs you have around your business, catch yourself in those negative thought processes that you want to get rid of  so you can challenge them. Start to look for any evidence you can to prove yourself wrong. So, to give you even more evidence spend a little time thinking about something you want to consider a ‘sign’.   Something that will empirically prove to you that this is something you can do.   So pick anything, keep it simple.  Let’s go with a fox for example. Wake up and think about how you want to see a fox today. You will start to notice all the times and occasions that you start to spot foxes.  You will start to notice it will be in adverts, images, shop display windows, logos, car stickers you’ll start to see it everywhere. Once you’ve done that and you’re ‘in’ then do the important work.  Start telling your brain who you want to be, what you want to see, what you want to achieve and then let the magic happen. If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!! Fx

052 - Why You Need To Pay Attention To Your Thoughts, Really!

When You're Exhausted &amp; Feeling Burnt Out! Show note links: To book your ticket to Positive Pants Planning Live head to:  https://app.eventsframe.com/e/rSubIsJhK/positive-pants-planning-live/ For more on this head to: https://www.franexcell.com/exhausted/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind:  https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants/ Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/ Check out my printable journal store here: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables When you’re exhausted and feeling burnt out   If you’re feeling exhausted and on your way to burnout, teary eyed and wondering why things aren’t easier...I feel you!   When you’re waking up in the morning wanting to cry into your cheerios feeling not so cheery and wondering how you’ll make it to next year in tact then I want you to remember that you HAVE got this.  I know I know, such a cliche but seriously you have. If you want it and you decide you’re going to have it then you WILL have it.   But that doesn’t mean you have to beat yourself up in the process.     The depths of silly season are dark   While we are right in the deepest darkest depths of silly season where we’re eating and drinking ourselves into oblivion, trying to finish things off so we can actually have a break, not getting enough sleep and getting a little too boozy suzie a little too often we HAVE to look after ourselves.   It’s important now more than ever.  You can EASILY head straight for that entrepreneurial burnout, especially if you have a job to juggle too!   You feel pulled in a million directions, like you’re never where you’re supposed to be or doing what you’re supposed to do and it’s HARD.   We have to sort this now so you don’t decide to burn your entire business to the ground because it’s just too damn hard.   The first thing is to acknowledge where you’re at.  Right now. You’re not going mad, you’re exhausted!   You need some rest and to switch your brain off for just a moment.  This is normal, especially this time of year, but it’s not ok to stay there.     Once you’re aware of why you may be feeling demotivated, more irritable than normal, why you’re not sleeping well, you’re exhausted all the time, reaching for the junk food or want to cry at the drop of a hat.     Once you realise what’s going on you can take steps to change it.  This is the first of those steps.   Money and Time   I know you’re not going to like the next one but this is the time, where you have no time, that you need to find time.     It’s so important to carve out time just for you, even if it’s 30 mins, even 10 mins to meditate, just find it.     The funny thing with time is it’s like money.  We always say we don’t have it but can ALWAYS find it when it’s a priority.     Make it a priority.     I always make sure I schedule it in, I know it lacks spontaneity BUT it means it actually happens.  My other half is on board with this too. If he knowsIi’ve been feeling stressed out or working too hard he runs me a bubble bath, puts in all the essential oils and salts under the sun and gives me that time.  (I know, the dream right! #smug)   Story time!   Think about what stories you’re telling about your time at the moment and use one of my favourite questions.  What’s one more thing you COULD do to make this easier?   We have a tendency when we’re labelling ourselves as ‘busy’ to create even MORE work just to justify the label.     We are our own worst enemies here.  We actually create MORE things to do when the reality is things CAN be simplified.     Go back to my  scary brain dump to do list and get really honest about what actually HAS to be done.     Make sure you’re saying no to other people too, this is a big one.  When you know you can’t take any more on you have to know when to say no.   Thinking about over thinking?   We get stressed when we’re overthinking.  We’re FAR busier in our heads than we actually are in reality.     These moments are when it’s really important to make sure you connect with other people, reach out, you can change your thought process in an instant if you talk to the right person.     I help clients do this all the time, it’s all too easy when you’re stuck in your own little negative loop to not see the woods for the trees.  Talk to someone!   Resist the urge to sink into the shadows hoping that the fog will lift.   The usual suspects   Sleep well, eat well, don’t drink too much, exercise, get your vitamin D,spend 15 minutes purely on your gratitude practice, all the things you instinctively know but don’t follow.   Remember that you’re essentially out of ‘fuel’ and you need to fill up the tank!   Check in with yourself to make sure there’s anything else going on and if you’re unsure go speak to your doctor.     We need to get you back to thinking clearly.     Limit decisions you need to make, even things that seem super simple like choosing what to wear or eat every day.  IF you plan it in advance all in one go it frees up some much needed headspace and wards off decision fatigue.   Remember that when you’re constantly in a heightened state of stress Cortisol and adrenaline are running through your body, you lose the inability to think clearly, we need to calm that down.   Breathe!   Please, please remember why you started this thing! You have a message that someone else needs to hear.     You have a life that you were meant to live.   No one ever said it was going to be easy, but it does get easier...and it’s so worth it!   Fx   Fx

When You're Exhausted &amp; Feeling Burnt Out! Show note links: To book your ticket to Positive Pants Planning Live head to: <a href="https://app.eventsframe.com/e/rSubIsJhK/positive-pants-planning-live/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://app.eventsframe.com/e/rSubIsJhK/positive-pants-planning-live/</a> For more on this head to: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/dontmakeresolutions/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.franexcell.com/exhausted/</a> For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind:  <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants/</a> Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: <a href="https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min</a> To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/</a> Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: <a href="https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/</a> Check out my printable journal store here: <a href="https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables</a> When you’re exhausted and feeling burnt out If you’re feeling exhausted and on your way to burnout, teary eyed and wondering why things aren’t easier...I feel you! When you’re waking up in the morning wanting to cry into your cheerios feeling not so cheery and wondering how you’ll make it to next year in tact then I want you to remember that you HAVE got this.  I know I know, such a cliche but seriously you have. If you want it and you decide you’re going to have it then you WILL have it. But that doesn’t mean you have to beat yourself up in the process.   The depths of silly season are dark While we are right in the deepest darkest depths of silly season where we’re eating and drinking ourselves into oblivion, trying to finish things off so we can actually have a break, not getting enough sleep and getting a little too boozy suzie a little too often we HAVE to look after ourselves. It’s important now more than ever.  You can EASILY head straight for that entrepreneurial burnout, especially if you have a job to juggle too! You feel pulled in a million directions, like you’re never where you’re supposed to be or doing what you’re supposed to do and it’s HARD. We have to sort this now so you don’t decide to burn your entire business to the ground because it’s just too damn hard. The first thing is to acknowledge where you’re at.  Right now. You’re not going mad, you’re exhausted! You need some rest and to switch your brain off for just a moment.  This is normal, especially this time of year, but it’s not ok to stay there.   Once you’re aware of why you may be feeling demotivated, more irritable than normal, why you’re not sleeping well, you’re exhausted all the time, reaching for the junk food or want to cry at the drop of a hat.   Once you realise what’s going on you can take steps to change it.  This is the first of those steps. Money and Time I know you’re not going to like the next one but this is the time, where you have no time, that you need to find time.   It’s so important to carve out time just for you, even if it’s 30 mins, even 10 mins to meditate, just find it.   The funny thing with time is it’s like money.  We always say we don’t have it but can ALWAYS find it when it’s a priority.   Make it a priority.   I always make sure I schedule it in, I know it lacks spontaneity BUT it means it actually happens.  My other half is on board with this too. If he knowsIi’ve been feeling stressed out or working too hard he runs me a bubble bath, puts in all the essential oils and salts under the sun and gives me that time.  (I know, the dream right! #smug) Story time! Think about what stories you’re telling about your time at the moment and use one of my favourite questions.  What’s one more thing you COULD do to make this easier? We have a tendency when we’re labelling ourselves as ‘busy’ to create even MORE work just to justify the label.   We are our own worst enemies here.  We actually create MORE things to do when the reality is things CAN be simplified.   Go back to my <a href="https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/589924671/scary-brain-dump-to-do-list?ref=shop_home_active_5" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> scary brain dump to do list</a> and get really honest about what actually HAS to be done.   Make sure you’re saying no to other people too, this is a big one.  When you know you can’t take any more on you have to know when to say no. Thinking about over thinking? We get stressed when we’re overthinking.  We’re FAR busier in our heads than we actually are in reality.   These moments are when it’s really important to make sure you connect with other people, reach out, you can change your thought process in an instant if you talk to the right person.   I help clients do this all the time, it’s all too easy when you’re stuck in your own little negative loop to not see the woods for the trees.  Talk to someone! Resist the urge to sink into the shadows hoping that the fog will lift. The usual suspects Sleep well, eat well, don’t drink too much, exercise, get your vitamin D,spend 15 minutes purely on your gratitude practice, all the things you instinctively know but don’t follow. Remember that you’re essentially out of ‘fuel’ and you need to fill up the tank! Check in with yourself to make sure there’s anything else going on and if you’re unsure go speak to your doctor.   We need to get you back to thinking clearly.   Limit decisions you need to make, even things that seem super simple like choosing what to wear or eat every day.  IF you plan it in advance all in one go it frees up some much needed headspace and wards off decision fatigue. Remember that when you’re constantly in a heightened state of stress Cortisol and adrenaline are running through your body, you lose the inability to think clearly, we need to calm that down. Breathe! Please, please remember why you started this thing! You have a message that someone else needs to hear.   You have a life that you were meant to live. No one ever said it was going to be easy, but it does get easier...and it’s so worth it! Fx Fx

050 - When You're Exhausted & Feeling Burnt Out!

The Little Things Are The Big Things   Show note links:    For more on this head to: www.franexcell.com/little-things   For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants   Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you:   https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min   To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/   Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/     Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach    The Little Things Are The Big Things   Do you forget about stopping to notice the awesome little things in your life?   The things that really make life enjoyable?   Let’s be honest the little things ARE the big things.   They’re what makes the difference between enjoying life and not enjoying it and there’s so much we can miss if we don’t look for it.   It’s REALLY easy when you’re trying to make big changes, run a business and go for your big dreams, to get so caught up in the minutia.   The little annoyances that seem to spiral, one after the other.   Your focus and attention goes on the all the things that you don’t have yet and you forget to stop and smell the roses and appreciate what you have NOW so you’re always living in the past or the future but never actually living in the present, which is where everything happens!   First of all where attention goes, energy flows and results show.     You get what you focus on so when you’re focusing on all the things you want but don’t have yet, you’re just going to get more of that AND you’re going to miss all the little joys in life.   What are you working towards if you don’t get to enjoy those parts of life?   Being grateful for the little things is something I practice every single day and let’s be honest makes life a whole lot better.   Gratitude literally changes the physiology of your brain and creates new neural pathways to make it a HABIT to be grateful every single day, despite what might be going on for you that day.   Think about this for a second.     When you focus on gratitude you find more things to be grateful for, whatever the circumstances.     You literally train your brain to find the little joyful things on a daily basis.     So whether you have an abundance of clients or things aren’t quite going according to plan yet, either way you’re grateful which is one of the highest positive emotions you can feel.   So you can see, practicing gratitude really is a win win situation.   When you don’t stop to notice the little things, celebrate the big and little wins you can get yourself into a negative loop of believing things aren’t going your way.     That you aren’t moving as fast as you want to.   You compare yourself to other people.   Perfectionism and imposter syndrome and the other pesky little gremlins can sneak in.   Anxiety can sneak in.   You can feel discouraged when all your hard work isn’t quite being reflected in your results yet.   I believe practicing gratitude and mindfulness is an antidote to all of that.   It increases your resilience.   It allows you to see the positive in any situation.   It helps you grow in confidence and make bolder decisions because you’ll start to treat things as an experiment rather than fearing failure because you’ll know there’s no such thing.   You’ll embrace the lessons and even look forward to them.   You’ll be doing all the things to bring MORE of the things you’re grateful for into your life.  You’ll be raising that vibration baby!   You’ll acknowledge your successes.   You’ll feel more joy.   I know it can seem like a bit of a fluffy subject at times but there’s a reason you hear so many hugely successful people talking about how gratitude and appreciating the little things is a part of their daily practice.   I’ve studied MANY of these hugely successful people and genuinely, I think it’s ALWAYS the case that high performers embrace gratitude as a huge part of their lives and tend to credit it as one of the biggest contributors to all the success they’ve enjoyed.     So it might be time to take note!   One of my favourite ways to implement this into my life is what I call a little ‘forward gratitude’.     When the brain doesn’t distinguish between what’s real and imagined and you do this with feeling it can be SUPER powerful, AND you’ll be training your reticular activating system to filter out the opportunities to get you where you want to be.     Write down all the things you want to achieve and all the things you’re grateful for in your business from where you WANT it to be.     The ideal clients you’re working with, the exact amount of money you want to make per month, the things you want to achieve but write them in the present tense.     As if it’s already done, already your life.     Don’t stop there though, have a little fun with it and write down how having each goal makes you FEEL.  Really feel the emotion behind it and visualise as if it’s already yours.   You might feel bonkers when you first start doing this but my goodness it works.  I had one client use this method and her business exploded through the roof.   An extra little tip is to do this as the last thing you do before going to sleep.  That way it’ll be bouncing around your subconscious as you sleep to make it even more powerful.  Whoop!   Think about the other ways gratitude can help you in your business.   Firstly for yourself but also for the people you work with.     Do you think genuine gratitude for and towards your clients could be a good thing?     Do you think people you work with, staff, VAs etc could potentially enjoy working with you more?   There are so many ways that noticing and appreciating the little things can help you grow and thrive and get to exactly where you want to be...worth a go right?   Here’s a few more things I do every day   A few things I do every day is celebrate the little things, I write down 3 good things that happened that day.     I make sure I do something nice for someone else and I make it my mission to make as many people smile as I can.     I also write down at least 3 things I'm grateful for and my forward gratitude.   I also LOVE me some mindfulness!   I’m lucky enough to live in a beautiful part of the world so mindful walking with the pooch is a big part of my routine.   It’s amazing what you notice when you shift your focus.     This ones a double whammy too because it can shift your thoughts AWAY from the minutia and anxious thoughts and on to something that’s going to make you feel good.   So, how can you start to implement a bit more gratitude into your business and your life.     How can you make sure you don’t forget to notice the little big things?   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!! All the details are in the link below and I hope to see you on the inside.   Fx

The Little Things Are The Big Things Show note links: <ul> <li>For more on this head to: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/little-things" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.franexcell.com/little-things</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you:</li> </ul> <ul> <li><a href="https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: <a href="https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach</li> </ul> The Little Things Are The Big Things Do you forget about stopping to notice the awesome little things in your life? The things that really make life enjoyable? Let’s be honest the little things ARE the big things. They’re what makes the difference between enjoying life and not enjoying it and there’s so much we can miss if we don’t look for it. It’s REALLY easy when you’re trying to make big changes, run a business and go for your big dreams, to get so caught up in the minutia. The little annoyances that seem to spiral, one after the other. Your focus and attention goes on the all the things that you don’t have yet and you forget to stop and smell the roses and appreciate what you have NOW so you’re always living in the past or the future but never actually living in the present, which is where everything happens! First of all where attention goes, energy flows and results show.   You get what you focus on so when you’re focusing on all the things you want but don’t have yet, you’re just going to get more of that AND you’re going to miss all the little joys in life. What are you working towards if you don’t get to enjoy those parts of life? Being grateful for the little things is something I practice every single day and let’s be honest makes life a whole lot better. Gratitude literally changes the physiology of your brain and creates new neural pathways to make it a HABIT to be grateful every single day, despite what might be going on for you that day. Think about this for a second.   When you focus on gratitude you find more things to be grateful for, whatever the circumstances.   You literally train your brain to find the little joyful things on a daily basis.   So whether you have an abundance of clients or things aren’t quite going according to plan yet, either way you’re grateful which is one of the highest positive emotions you can feel. So you can see, practicing gratitude really is a win win situation. When you don’t stop to notice the little things, celebrate the big and little wins you can get yourself into a negative loop of believing things aren’t going your way.   That you aren’t moving as fast as you want to. You compare yourself to other people. Perfectionism and imposter syndrome and the other pesky little gremlins can sneak in. Anxiety can sneak in. You can feel discouraged when all your hard work isn’t quite being reflected in your results yet. I believe practicing gratitude and mindfulness is an antidote to all of that. It increases your resilience. It allows you to see the positive in any situation. It helps you grow in confidence and make bolder decisions because you’ll start to treat things as an experiment rather than fearing failure because you’ll know there’s no such thing. You’ll embrace the lessons and even look forward to them. You’ll be doing all the things to bring MORE of the things you’re grateful for into your life.  You’ll be raising that vibration baby! You’ll acknowledge your successes. You’ll feel more joy. I know it can seem like a bit of a fluffy subject at times but there’s a reason you hear so many hugely successful people talking about how gratitude and appreciating the little things is a part of their daily practice. I’ve studied MANY of these hugely successful people and genuinely, I think it’s ALWAYS the case that high performers embrace gratitude as a huge part of their lives and tend to credit it as one of the biggest contributors to all the success they’ve enjoyed.   So it might be time to take note! One of my favourite ways to implement this into my life is what I call a little ‘forward gratitude’.   When the brain doesn’t distinguish between what’s real and imagined and you do this with feeling it can be SUPER powerful, AND you’ll be training your reticular activating system to filter out the opportunities to get you where you want to be.   Write down all the things you want to achieve and all the things you’re grateful for in your business from where you WANT it to be.   The ideal clients you’re working with, the exact amount of money you want to make per month, the things you want to achieve but write them in the present tense.   As if it’s already done, already your life.   Don’t stop there though, have a little fun with it and write down how having each goal makes you FEEL.  Really feel the emotion behind it and visualise as if it’s already yours. You might feel bonkers when you first start doing this but my goodness it works.  I had one client use this method and her business exploded through the roof. An extra little tip is to do this as the last thing you do before going to sleep.  That way it’ll be bouncing around your subconscious as you sleep to make it even more powerful.  Whoop! Think about the other ways gratitude can help you in your business. Firstly for yourself but also for the people you work with.   Do you think genuine gratitude for and towards your clients could be a good thing?   Do you think people you work with, staff, VAs etc could potentially enjoy working with you more? There are so many ways that noticing and appreciating the little things can help you grow and thrive and get to exactly where you want to be...worth a go right? Here’s a few more things I do every day A few things I do every day is celebrate the little things, I write down 3 good things that happened that day.   I make sure I do something nice for someone else and I make it my mission to make as many people smile as I can.   I also write down at least 3 things I'm grateful for and my forward gratitude. I also LOVE me some mindfulness! I’m lucky enough to live in a beautiful part of the world so mindful walking with the pooch is a big part of my routine. It’s amazing what you notice when you shift your focus.   This ones a double whammy too because it can shift your thoughts AWAY from the minutia and anxious thoughts and on to something that’s going to make you feel good. So, how can you start to implement a bit more gratitude into your business and your life.   How can you make sure you don’t forget to notice the little big things? If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!! All the details are in the link below and I hope to see you on the inside. Fx

070 - Why The Little Things ARE The Big Things

How to do a digital declutter...and why you should do it for a positive mindset! Show note links: To book your ticket to Positive Pants Planning Live head to:  https://app.eventsframe.com/e/rSubIsJhK/positive-pants-planning-live/ For more on this head to: https://www.franexcell.com/dontmakeresolutions/ How to set goals that actually work for you: For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind:  https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants/ Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/ Check out my printable journal store here: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables Why You Shouldn’t Make New Years Resolutions As we approach the end of the year I thought I’d get in early with this message, before it’s too late!     I feel like now is a good time to share my NUMBER ONE tip on how to stick to your resolutions with you. Are you ready? Wait for it… DON’T MAKE THEM! Yep….don’t make them! Why I Don’t Make Resolutions I don’t make resolutions anymore, I realised it made January all the more depressing when within a week….ok ok, within a day or two….my plan to ‘cut out carbs’ inevitably fails. Plus, living like that is not really living! You’re constantly in a state of deprivation, always focusing on what you ‘can’t’ have….it then inevitably becomes ALL you want and that is HARD…it’s also VERY unhealthy. A Negative Way To Start Your Year The way I see resolutions is that they tend to end up being ‘fault picking’ exercises and an excuse to just highlight everything you think is wrong with yourself. They are usually inherently negative.  Not a great way to start your year off. Why We Can’t Stick To Resolutions Did you know that only 8% of us are actually successful at sticking to them?? 8%!! Why? A big reason is you’re leaving too much to chance. Resolutions are far too ‘fluffy’, they tend to not be either specific enough or measurable. Psychological research also shows that something called ‘ironic mental control’ exists and essentially means that the harder you focus on NOT doing something or being a certain way, it actually makes you do it more.  They call it the white bear problem. When someone says ‘don’t think about a white bear’ what instantly comes to mind? And the more you try NOT to think about it, the stronger the image becomes.   Normally we even set resolutions already believing we’re going to fail! We’re also not that into them! Know WHY You Want To Achieve Them If you don’t have a solid motivation, and a solid reason ‘why’ you want it then you’re more likely to give up or procrastinate.   If you connect to WHY you really want something you’re FAR more likely to achieve it. Ask yourself how things would look for you this time next year if you DID achieve it and if you want it bad enough it will be SO much easier to motivate yourself. Can you see why it’s so difficult?! It Doesn’t Happen Overnight People expect to break habits OVERNIGHT which is near impossible, and when you ‘fail’ it can really damage your self worth. EVERY year since I can remember I essentially tried to starve myself in January and resolved to lose a stone in weight in a ridiculous amount of time.  I’ve been through YEARS, at least half my life of yoyo dieting and i set myself up for failure time and time again by thinking that just by deciding it’s what I wanted then it would happen straight away. Shift Your Focus 2017 was the year that changed the cycle.  I changed my thought process and shifted my focus, I didn’t focus on the negative thing I wanted to change, having too many spare tyres, and made a conscious decision to be more healthy. I’d been struggling with arthritis and Patellofemoral pain syndrome in my knees so I was always uncomfortable and in pain and something needed to change.  I said at the beginning of the year I wanted to find an exercise I could do to improve the pain…and a nice little 20lb weight loss was an added bonus that came with it. So I ended up achieving what I wanted by attaching it to something that was actually positive, bigger and more important than wanting to be thinner. I started by making the decision to go to 2 Bikram yoga classes per week, I don’t know if you’ve ever been to a Bikram yoga class but let me tell you on days you have one of those (1.5 hours in 40 degree heat!) you will NOT want to drink in the day or even the day before, you will drink WAY more water than you would normally and you will NOT eat heavy meals!  So you don’t feel like you’re going to pass out or be sick you will make MUCH healthier choices naturally with zero effort. Make Goals Instead Or Resolutions! Pick positive goals, specific, measurable, achievable, realistic (but don’t be afraid to dream big!) goals ideally that directly conflict with what you do want to give up and also allow you to create the new positive habits you want to create with far less effort. Make sure you add in WHEN you want to have achieved it by. So pick goals that REALLY motivate you! Get Accountable! If you’re intent on making this year the year that you finally achieve what you really want to then get an accountability buddy or hire a coach (personal trainer for health or personal development coach for everything else!) that can get you there.   Resolutions tend to be BIG changes we want to make that can be overwhelming, but if you have someone to help you break it down into smaller steps and keep you accountable then you’re on your way to success! Use a journal or a habit tracker to keep you motivated and on the right track.  There are lots of printable versions on Etsy or Pinterest that you can put up on your wall so you see it every day. Celebrate Celebrate every teeny tiny little win along the way, promise yourself a treat once you achieve it for motivation.  I like to get people to do this when they’re setting goals, often they would hit them and then it would be straight onto the next one with no reflection or time to appreciate what you’ve achieved and the milestone that you’ve hit. It Takes Time Know that it will take time and you have to push through the hard bit to create the new neural pathways that allow you to form the new habits you need and THEN get you to the god stuff where it all becomes so much easier, it just becomes something you do.   Give yourself that time and understand it’s not supposed to be an overnight shift, it WILL be hard, it WILL be effort but if it’s worth it to you then STICK WITH IT and appreciate you are retraining your brain and KNOW that eventually it will become second nature. If you want a head start with this then book your ticket for Positive Pants Planing Live now.  The next 3 full price tickets purchased will get a bonus 45 minute 1:1 call with me. If you've been stuck, frustrated, overwhelmed or procrastinating on your business goals in 2018 and you KNOW you're what's standing in your way then this is the event for you. Have a think, Where would you be in your business without that annoying inner critic telling you you can't do things? What could it do to your income if you took action after action without self-doubt and impostor feelings holding your back? What could being free from overwhelm and procrastination actually bring into your life? More freedom? More income? More calm? We're going to tame those pesky (inevitable) mindset gremlins that have been holding you back, get you looking at things differently and setting you up for success in 2019. You'll learn my tried and tested methods to bust all these pesky gremlins and you’ll end the day with Positive Pants firmly on, feeling fan-flipping-tastic! Here’s to a great 2019! Fx

How to do a digital declutter...and why you should do it for a positive mindset! Show note links: To book your ticket to Positive Pants Planning Live head to: <a href="https://app.eventsframe.com/e/rSubIsJhK/positive-pants-planning-live/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://app.eventsframe.com/e/rSubIsJhK/positive-pants-planning-live/</a> For more on this head to: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/dontmakeresolutions/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.franexcell.com/dontmakeresolutions/</a> How to set goals that actually work for you: For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind:  <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants/</a> Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: <a href="https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min</a> To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/</a> Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: <a href="https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/</a> Check out my printable journal store here: <a href="https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables</a> Why You Shouldn’t Make New Years Resolutions As we approach the end of the year I thought I’d get in early with this message, before it’s too late!   I feel like now is a good time to share my NUMBER ONE tip on how to stick to your resolutions with you. Are you ready? Wait for it… DON’T MAKE THEM! Yep….don’t make them! Why I Don’t Make Resolutions I don’t make resolutions anymore, I realised it made January all the more depressing when within a week….ok ok, within a day or two….my plan to ‘cut out carbs’ inevitably fails. Plus, living like that is not really living! You’re constantly in a state of deprivation, always focusing on what you ‘can’t’ have….it then inevitably becomes ALL you want and that is HARD…it’s also VERY unhealthy. A Negative Way To Start Your Year The way I see resolutions is that they tend to end up being ‘fault picking’ exercises and an excuse to just highlight everything you think is wrong with yourself. They are usually inherently negative.  Not a great way to start your year off. Why We Can’t Stick To Resolutions Did you know that only 8% of us are actually successful at sticking to them?? 8%!! Why? A big reason is you’re leaving too much to chance. Resolutions are far too ‘fluffy’, they tend to not be either specific enough or measurable. Psychological research also shows that something called ‘ironic mental control’ exists and essentially means that the harder you focus on NOT doing something or being a certain way, it actually makes you do it more.  They call it the white bear problem. When someone says ‘don’t think about a white bear’ what instantly comes to mind? And the more you try NOT to think about it, the stronger the image becomes.   Normally we even set resolutions already believing we’re going to fail! We’re also not that into them! Know WHY You Want To Achieve Them If you don’t have a solid motivation, and a solid reason ‘why’ you want it then you’re more likely to give up or procrastinate.   If you connect to WHY you really want something you’re FAR more likely to achieve it. Ask yourself how things would look for you this time next year if you DID achieve it and if you want it bad enough it will be SO much easier to motivate yourself. Can you see why it’s so difficult?! It Doesn’t Happen Overnight People expect to break habits OVERNIGHT which is near impossible, and when you ‘fail’ it can really damage your self worth. EVERY year since I can remember I essentially tried to starve myself in January and resolved to lose a stone in weight in a ridiculous amount of time.  I’ve been through YEARS, at least half my life of yoyo dieting and i set myself up for failure time and time again by thinking that just by deciding it’s what I wanted then it would happen straight away. Shift Your Focus 2017 was the year that changed the cycle.  I changed my thought process and shifted my focus, I didn’t focus on the negative thing I wanted to change, having too many spare tyres, and made a conscious decision to be more healthy. I’d been struggling with arthritis and Patellofemoral pain syndrome in my knees so I was always uncomfortable and in pain and something needed to change.  I said at the beginning of the year I wanted to find an exercise I could do to improve the pain…and a nice little 20lb weight loss was an added bonus that came with it. So I ended up achieving what I wanted by attaching it to something that was actually positive, bigger and more important than wanting to be thinner. I started by making the decision to go to 2 Bikram yoga classes per week, I don’t know if you’ve ever been to a Bikram yoga class but let me tell you on days you have one of those (1.5 hours in 40 degree heat!) you will NOT want to drink in the day or even the day before, you will drink WAY more water than you would normally and you will NOT eat heavy meals!  So you don’t feel like you’re going to pass out or be sick you will make MUCH healthier choices naturally with zero effort. Make Goals Instead Or Resolutions! Pick positive goals, specific, measurable, achievable, realistic (but don’t be afraid to dream big!) goals ideally that directly conflict with what you do want to give up and also allow you to create the new positive habits you want to create with far less effort. Make sure you add in WHEN you want to have achieved it by. So pick goals that REALLY motivate you! Get Accountable! If you’re intent on making this year the year that you finally achieve what you really want to then get an accountability buddy or hire a coach (personal trainer for health or personal development coach for everything else!) that can get you there.   Resolutions tend to be BIG changes we want to make that can be overwhelming, but if you have someone to help you break it down into smaller steps and keep you accountable then you’re on your way to success! Use a journal or a habit tracker to keep you motivated and on the right track.  There are lots of printable versions on Etsy or Pinterest that you can put up on your wall so you see it every day. Celebrate Celebrate every teeny tiny little win along the way, promise yourself a treat once you achieve it for motivation.  I like to get people to do this when they’re setting goals, often they would hit them and then it would be straight onto the next one with no reflection or time to appreciate what you’ve achieved and the milestone that you’ve hit. It Takes Time Know that it will take time and you have to push through the hard bit to create the new neural pathways that allow you to form the new habits you need and THEN get you to the god stuff where it all becomes so much easier, it just becomes something you do.   Give yourself that time and understand it’s not supposed to be an overnight shift, it WILL be hard, it WILL be effort but if it’s worth it to you then STICK WITH IT and appreciate you are retraining your brain and KNOW that eventually it will become second nature. If you want a head start with this then book your ticket for Positive Pants Planing Live now.  The next 3 full price tickets purchased will get a bonus 45 minute 1:1 call with me. If you've been stuck, frustrated, overwhelmed or procrastinating on your business goals in 2018 and you KNOW you're what's standing in your way then this is the event for you. Have a think, Where would you be in your business without that annoying inner critic telling you you can't do things? What could it do to your income if you took action after action without self-doubt and impostor feelings holding your back? What could being free from overwhelm and procrastination actually bring into your life? More freedom? More income? More calm? We're going to tame those pesky (inevitable) mindset gremlins that have been holding you back, get you looking at things differently and setting you up for success in 2019. You'll learn my tried and tested methods to bust all these pesky gremlins and you’ll end the day with Positive Pants firmly on, feeling fan-flipping-tastic! Here’s to a great 2019! Fx

048 - Why You Shouldn't Make New Years Resolutions

How Gratitude Can Change Your Life. Gratitude is one of my favourite subjects and something i really do credit with turning my mindset and my life around 4 years ago. It has however, become a bit of a buzz word recently and something that is being now deemed to be a bit ‘fluffy’.   So I want to talk to you about all the reasons you need to stand up, pay attention and flex that gratitude muscle if you want to change your life because gratitude is anything but fluffy. Once you know and can understand that it’s not a fluffy subject and is backed by countless studies, research and neuroscience the more likely you are to make it a regular practice.   Are You A Negative Nelly? If you’re prone to focusing a little too much on the negatives (ok, ok…let’s be honest a lot too much on the negatives! then you need to have a gratitude practice in your life if you want that to change. It is a direct challenge to your negative thought patterns and the quickest way to flip it all around in my opinion.   When you’re grateful about what you’ve got you’re not focusing on all the things you don’t have.   You’re not stuck in fear or anxiety. You’re SO much happier. You sleep better.  You’re healthier. You even take more action thanks to the lovely Dopamine hits that your brain rewards you with.   It makes stressful situations less so and increases your resilience. It allows you to recover MUCH more quickly from things that go wrong. It even makes you a nicer person!!  People that practice regular gratitude are found to have more empathy, are kinder and more supportive of others.   You’re Training Your Brain In a famous study by Robert Emmons it was found that gratitude allows you to ‘train’ your prefrontal cortex (memory and emotion) to keep hold of the positive memories and let go or reject the more negative ones.I mean…worth putting some effort into this right? It’s what’s known in Positive Psychology as an ‘intervention’.  When you’re struggling with negative emotions simply take the time to think about what and who you’re grateful for and you can get yourself right back on track.  It’s often described as the antidote to fear and anxiety which is something that can rear its ugly head a lot when you’re trying to make a big change or achieve anything big like pushing your business forward or pushing yourself outside your comfort zone. It’s like a little magic potion and I want people to understand how powerful it is so they can stop rolling their eyes and thinking it’s fluffy and actually start doing the work rather than staying stuck where they’re at.   Flex Those Muscles Plus…its effects are long lasting. The more you flex your gratitude muscle the more natural it comes to you.   The more you work it the stronger it gets. You train your brain to think in that way through a process called neuroplasticity where you’re literally creating new neural connections.  Over time it becomes how you look at everything in your life.   Anyone Can Do It Some of the happiest people in the world are from some of the poorest places, they have absolutely nothing but they are SO grateful for what they do have, they’re just happy to be alive.  So it really is something that anyone can find, whatever the situation. The brain rewards gratitude. It activates the brain’s reward centre leading you to seek more of the same.  It’s releases both Dopamine and Serotonin which are all about making you feel good. The more you’re rewarded for it, the more you’ll do it, then the more reward you’ll get again! Whoohoo! If you’re predisposed to be a bit of a negative Nelly which can really get in your way when you want to achieve big things (in the form of self doubt, seeing all the reasons things ‘can’t’ or ‘won’t’ work, you know…all the usual mindset gremlins!) and change your life for the better then this is the simplest and easiest way to achieve that. Gratitude has positive physical, health, social, emotional and physiological benefits and it’s so bloomin easy to do!! Here’s a few ways to get a little gratitude into your life.   Write Down 3 Things You’re Grateful For Every Day.   Simple as that.  Studies show that in as little as two weeks you will feel a major difference in your own well being and in time all the other amazing benefits I’ve mentioned will find their way into your life.  Front and centre. If you want a double whammy boost do it as the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night.   Helloooo restful sleep!  It also means that you’ll never get out of the wrong side of the bed in the morning! The more you start to find these things to be grateful for the more your brain will actively look for them…and the more you’ll see.  That’s a great little thought loop to be in! The more you do it the more your brain will get rewired to have Gratitude as your path of least resistance, your go to emotion even when things get tough.   Keep A List And Keep Adding, And Adding, And Adding… Keep a rolling list somewhere you can get to it when you’re out and about.  If you’re a paper person keep a little notebook and pen in your bag, if you’re more digital make a note in your phone. Easy peasy!   Write Gratitude Letters. Gratitude letters are amazing! So many times we keep all our grateful thoughts to ourselves.  If you spend time writing to someone who you’re truly grateful for it will make you feel amazing, you will feel all the Dopamine rushing in and will really allow yourself to feel grateful.   You don’t even have to send it…but if you do…hold tight for all the warm and fuzzies coming your way and that you’re giving to the person you send it to. You can even simply send a text to the people you appreciate and tell them why.  They’ll feel amazing too. Bonus!   Get A Gratitude Buddy. If you want a little accountability while you’re creating your regular practice then rope in a buddy.   Every morning and/or evening send them your 3 things you’re grateful for, and they send you theirs. It’s such a lovely way to do it because you have the accountability, you also get to get involved in their gratitude too and the likelihood is that you’ll remind each other of even MORE things you’re grateful for.   Visualise Close your eyes (after you’ve read this!) Think of someone or something you’re grateful for.   Really bring it to mind and feel the gratitude towards them, say thank you to that person or thing and open your eyes.  That simple. 30 seconds of your time and a lovely little boost of Dopamine and Serotonin in your day, lovely stuff!   Go Public. In my group everyone’s favourite day is thankful Thursday.  It’s become peoples regular gratitude practice and everyone always feels amazing after posting their three things on a Thursday morning.   It really is that simple. Not only do they love posting theirs but they love reading everyone else’s, it can be a powerful thing to declare what you’re grateful for publicly. Thursdays are my favourite too 🙂   Do You Want This? To summarise, if you want things in your business and your life to be more positive, feel easier, you want to feel less resistance, be able to bounce back quicker, be a better person, be happier, sleep better, be healthier, less anxious…this list could go on for a while! If you want that for yourself, and for everyone around you then give it a go.  IT’s so so simple there is ALWAYS something to be grateful for so if you struggle to begin with, start small.  You’ll soon see it spiral. If you know you’re ready for things to change and you want my eyes on your problem I invite you to book in a free 30 minute call  (link below) with me to see where you’re at, where you want to go and how we get you there! You don’t need to be where you’re at anymore and it doesn’t need to be your story. Fx For more information on this topic head over to: https://www.franexcell.com/gratitude/ Book in a FREE 30 minute discovery call with me: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/ Check out my printable journal store and to do list here: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables Gratitude List printable:  https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/589814177/printable-gratitude-list?ref=shop_home_active_8

How Gratitude Can Change Your Life. Gratitude is one of my favourite subjects and something i really do credit with turning my mindset and my life around 4 years ago. It has however, become a bit of a buzz word recently and something that is being now deemed to be a bit ‘fluffy’.   So I want to talk to you about all the reasons you need to stand up, pay attention and flex that gratitude muscle if you want to change your life because gratitude is anything but fluffy. Once you know and can understand that it’s not a fluffy subject and is backed by countless studies, research and neuroscience the more likely you are to make it a regular practice.   Are You A Negative Nelly? If you’re prone to focusing a little too much on the negatives (ok, ok…let’s be honest a lot too much on the negatives! then you need to have a gratitude practice in your life if you want that to change. It is a direct challenge to your negative thought patterns and the quickest way to flip it all around in my opinion.   When you’re grateful about what you’ve got you’re not focusing on all the things you don’t have.   You’re not stuck in fear or anxiety. You’re SO much happier. You sleep better.  You’re healthier. You even take more action thanks to the lovely Dopamine hits that your brain rewards you with.   It makes stressful situations less so and increases your resilience. It allows you to recover MUCH more quickly from things that go wrong. It even makes you a nicer person!!  People that practice regular gratitude are found to have more empathy, are kinder and more supportive of others.   You’re Training Your Brain In a famous study by Robert Emmons it was found that gratitude allows you to ‘train’ your prefrontal cortex (memory and emotion) to keep hold of the positive memories and let go or reject the more negative ones.I mean…worth putting some effort into this right? It’s what’s known in Positive Psychology as an ‘intervention’.  When you’re struggling with negative emotions simply take the time to think about what and who you’re grateful for and you can get yourself right back on track.  It’s often described as the antidote to fear and anxiety which is something that can rear its ugly head a lot when you’re trying to make a big change or achieve anything big like pushing your business forward or pushing yourself outside your comfort zone. It’s like a little magic potion and I want people to understand how powerful it is so they can stop rolling their eyes and thinking it’s fluffy and actually start doing the work rather than staying stuck where they’re at.   Flex Those Muscles Plus…its effects are long lasting. The more you flex your gratitude muscle the more natural it comes to you.   The more you work it the stronger it gets. You train your brain to think in that way through a process called neuroplasticity where you’re literally creating new neural connections.  Over time it becomes how you look at everything in your life.   Anyone Can Do It Some of the happiest people in the world are from some of the poorest places, they have absolutely nothing but they are SO grateful for what they do have, they’re just happy to be alive.  So it really is something that anyone can find, whatever the situation. The brain rewards gratitude. It activates the brain’s reward centre leading you to seek more of the same.  It’s releases both Dopamine and Serotonin which are all about making you feel good. The more you’re rewarded for it, the more you’ll do it, then the more reward you’ll get again! Whoohoo! If you’re predisposed to be a bit of a negative Nelly which can really get in your way when you want to achieve big things (in the form of self doubt, seeing all the reasons things ‘can’t’ or ‘won’t’ work, you know…all the usual mindset gremlins!) and change your life for the better then this is the simplest and easiest way to achieve that. Gratitude has positive physical, health, social, emotional and physiological benefits and it’s so bloomin easy to do!! Here’s a few ways to get a little gratitude into your life.   Write Down 3 Things You’re Grateful For Every Day.   Simple as that.  Studies show that in as little as two weeks you will feel a major difference in your own well being and in time all the other amazing benefits I’ve mentioned will find their way into your life.  Front and centre. If you want a double whammy boost do it as the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night.   Helloooo restful sleep!  It also means that you’ll never get out of the wrong side of the bed in the morning! The more you start to find these things to be grateful for the more your brain will actively look for them…and the more you’ll see.  That’s a great little thought loop to be in! The more you do it the more your brain will get rewired to have Gratitude as your path of least resistance, your go to emotion even when things get tough.   Keep A List And Keep Adding, And Adding, And Adding… Keep a rolling list somewhere you can get to it when you’re out and about.  If you’re a paper person keep a little notebook and pen in your bag, if you’re more digital make a note in your phone. Easy peasy!   Write Gratitude Letters. Gratitude letters are amazing! So many times we keep all our grateful thoughts to ourselves.  If you spend time writing to someone who you’re truly grateful for it will make you feel amazing, you will feel all the Dopamine rushing in and will really allow yourself to feel grateful.   You don’t even have to send it…but if you do…hold tight for all the warm and fuzzies coming your way and that you’re giving to the person you send it to. You can even simply send a text to the people you appreciate and tell them why.  They’ll feel amazing too. Bonus!   Get A Gratitude Buddy. If you want a little accountability while you’re creating your regular practice then rope in a buddy.   Every morning and/or evening send them your 3 things you’re grateful for, and they send you theirs. It’s such a lovely way to do it because you have the accountability, you also get to get involved in their gratitude too and the likelihood is that you’ll remind each other of even MORE things you’re grateful for.   Visualise Close your eyes (after you’ve read this!) Think of someone or something you’re grateful for.   Really bring it to mind and feel the gratitude towards them, say thank you to that person or thing and open your eyes.  That simple. 30 seconds of your time and a lovely little boost of Dopamine and Serotonin in your day, lovely stuff!   Go Public. In my group everyone’s favourite day is thankful Thursday.  It’s become peoples regular gratitude practice and everyone always feels amazing after posting their three things on a Thursday morning.   It really is that simple. Not only do they love posting theirs but they love reading everyone else’s, it can be a powerful thing to declare what you’re grateful for publicly. Thursdays are my favourite too 🙂   Do You Want This? To summarise, if you want things in your business and your life to be more positive, feel easier, you want to feel less resistance, be able to bounce back quicker, be a better person, be happier, sleep better, be healthier, less anxious…this list could go on for a while! If you want that for yourself, and for everyone around you then give it a go.  IT’s so so simple there is ALWAYS something to be grateful for so if you struggle to begin with, start small.  You’ll soon see it spiral. If you know you’re ready for things to change and you want my eyes on your problem I invite you to book in a free 30 minute call  (link below) with me to see where you’re at, where you want to go and how we get you there! You don’t need to be where you’re at anymore and it doesn’t need to be your story. Fx For more information on this topic head over to: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/gratitude/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.franexcell.com/gratitude/</a> Book in a FREE 30 minute discovery call with me: <a href="https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min</a> To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/</a> Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: <a href="https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/</a> Check out my printable journal store and to do list here: <a href="https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables</a> Gratitude List printable: <a href="https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/589814177/printable-gratitude-list?ref=shop_home_active_8" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/589814177/printable-gratitude-list?ref=shop_home_active_8</a>

026 - How Gratitude Can Change Your Life

Patience Is A Virtue, So Why Is It So Bloomin Hard!   Show note links:    For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/   For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants   Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you:   https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min   To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/   Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/     Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways!  Patience Is A Virtue, So Why Is It So Bloomin Hard!   Patience is a virtue right? It is. But it can also be so damn hard to practice! Patience is something we tend to need in droves when we’re making any big changes or starting or running a business...but it can be one of the hardest things that we do. Go figure!   Now please! We want it to happen NOW, NOW, NOW! Many people also lose patience on the journey and give up, often just before a break through. There’s a great Thomas Edison quote to emphasise this, “Many of life's failures are people who did not realise how close they were to success when they gave up.” Coming from the person who also said “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work” I really think it’s an opinion worth listening to. Being patient means that we have to accept that we’re living in a moment of uncertainty and when our brains loooove certainty it can make it feel very difficult.   Impatience is a big issue! In the last few years I've really seen impatience being a big issue for business owners, and anyone trying to make a big change too of course. Think weight loss, new morning routines, diet, exercise, all the things where we know what to do to make the change but we don’t stick to it because it feels too hard. So take fad diets for example because I always love a weight loss analogy! So, you lose the weight really quickly through sacrificing certain foods or restricting calories, does it ever actually stay off? Whereas, if you lose it slow and steady over time and create a lifestyle change that actually works for you, you incorporate exercise that you actually enjoy and it allows your unconscious habits to catch up with you, does it stay off then? Which process feels better?   There's a little more to it But, here’s the thing, it’s not JUST because you’re frustrated at the time it takes for your business to grow. You’re frustrated at what you’re making it MEAN that it’s taking so long for your business to grow. So...what are you making it MEAN to you that you’re not growing as fast as other people say you should? That you’re not good enough? That you’re not cut out for this? That other people are better than you and judging you for not being further ahead? Listen to those pesky little thoughts and catch them so you can challenge them, because they’re not true! Nothing has any meaning except for the meaning you give it.   It's not your fault! We’re constantly bombarded with the ‘how I made 6 figures in 6 months and I can teach you my exact steps’ (If you’re not sure how I feel about then head HERE) so we’re seeing how ‘doable’ it is. Other people have done it right? Apart from all the steps that may have been missed out, the different backgrounds, circumstances etc etc. DOH! So, because of these messages, we’re expecting that in 6 short months we’re going to be making 6 figures in our brand new business, and if we don’t we’ve failed. So, hang on, you’re expecting to be able to understand business, marketing, your message, your niche, your ideal client, what products you want to sell, test everything, create your brand, your content, know how you want to work, actually work with people so you have testimonials, build a reputation, tame all the mindset gremlins you’ve had since you were a child, not to mention all the other things you need to learn or create, and make 6 figures...all in 6 months?? With no help??   Impatience can be the killer of dreams! Impatience clouds your judgement, increases your frustration (which is the biggest driver of quitting!) and makes the mindset gremlins go crazy! ‘Why haven’t YOU done it yet, other people have’. ‘Why aren’t you where they are? They must be better.’ It can really cause you to self sabotage and not make the best decisions for you. It can cause you to be impulsive...and I don’t mean in the romantic oooooh i’m being ‘spontaneous’ kind of way! Great things take time. Give yourself that. I’ve seen a lot of people rush a launch or a new business or new product not feeling prepared and sabotaging their efforts.   It's a habit Remember, as with so much else, patience is a habit. One you can learn and increase over time. Practice makes perfect. So how do you become more patient? You practice it! It allows us to be far more mindful, always good when making decisions, and another great way to practice it! Patience also allows us to let go of the attachment to the outcome. It allows us to trust more that things ARE going to happen in the right way at the right time. It helps us be FAR more resilient too. We learn to get comfortable being uncomfortable!   Patience leads to the good stuff! Practising patience also means you’ll take on the right opportunities, the right clients for you. It also means those ‘too good to be true’ opportunities will be far more considered and analysed for what they really are...good marketing. It allows you to take the time to be more analytical, question things more, look at them from all angles and tweak things as you go along. Rather than rushing in with both feet saying ‘I WANT A MEMBERSHIP’ and setting it up, getting people in there and then realising you’ve created the opposite of the freedom you were aiming for. It doesn’t mean you can’t have a membership, it just means you take the time to make sure it’s what you really want and set up in a way that fits what you want for your life. Being patient doesn’t mean you’re not taking action, quite the opposite. When you can take action, let go of the attachment to the result and know that your efforts will pay off then THAT is a powerful position to be in. It’s also a lot more fun!   Stop with all the pushing So often we PUSH PUSH PUSH trying to get to the end result. Pushing is the definition of something being moved further AWAY. So what if you just stopped pushing and actually enjoyed the journey? The push and hustle doesn’t feel good. We’re not celebrating our successes. We’re not taking the time to analyse and tweak. It’s stressful, it’s frustrating, it knocks our confidence!   How you can practice There are two things I find really helpful in practising patience. One is understanding how we learn new things. Understanding why it’s so hard to make a change. (Go  HERE for more on that!) And also learning and practising reframing. Being able to be mindful and ask yourself what you can do about the situation, what’s a potential GOOD thing about the situation and how else COULD you look at it? These things take time. It takes our unconscious minds time to form new habits and catch up with what our conscious wants to do. It takes time to learn all the things you need to learn. It takes time to know how you REALLY want to run your business, who you want to work with and what works for you. Stop giving yourself a hard time for not getting where you want to be in record time. It’ll just stop you enjoying the journey. Allow yourself the permission for it to take time and know that you’re exactly where you need to be right now. If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!! Fx

Patience Is A Virtue, So Why Is It So Bloomin Hard! Show note links: <ul> <li>For more, head over to: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.franexcell.com/</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you:</li> </ul> <ul> <li><a href="https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: <a href="https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways!</li> </ul> Patience Is A Virtue, So Why Is It So Bloomin Hard! Patience is a virtue right? It is. But it can also be so damn hard to practice! Patience is something we tend to need in droves when we’re making any big changes or starting or running a business...but it can be one of the hardest things that we do. Go figure!   Now please! We want it to happen NOW, NOW, NOW! Many people also lose patience on the journey and give up, often just before a break through. There’s a great Thomas Edison quote to emphasise this, “Many of life's failures are people who did not realise how close they were to success when they gave up.” Coming from the person who also said “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work” I really think it’s an opinion worth listening to. Being patient means that we have to accept that we’re living in a moment of uncertainty and when our brains loooove certainty it can make it feel very difficult.   Impatience is a big issue! In the last few years I've really seen impatience being a big issue for business owners, and anyone trying to make a big change too of course. Think weight loss, new morning routines, diet, exercise, all the things where we know what to do to make the change but we don’t stick to it because it feels too hard. So take fad diets for example because I always love a weight loss analogy! So, you lose the weight really quickly through sacrificing certain foods or restricting calories, does it ever actually stay off? Whereas, if you lose it slow and steady over time and create a lifestyle change that actually works for you, you incorporate exercise that you actually enjoy and it allows your unconscious habits to catch up with you, does it stay off then? Which process feels better?   There's a little more to it But, here’s the thing, it’s not JUST because you’re frustrated at the time it takes for your business to grow. You’re frustrated at what you’re making it MEAN that it’s taking so long for your business to grow. So...what are you making it MEAN to you that you’re not growing as fast as other people say you should? That you’re not good enough? That you’re not cut out for this? That other people are better than you and judging you for not being further ahead? Listen to those pesky little thoughts and catch them so you can challenge them, because they’re not true! Nothing has any meaning except for the meaning you give it.   It's not your fault! We’re constantly bombarded with the ‘how I made 6 figures in 6 months and I can teach you my exact steps’ (If you’re not sure how I feel about then head <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/6figures/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>) so we’re seeing how ‘doable’ it is. Other people have done it right? Apart from all the steps that may have been missed out, the different backgrounds, circumstances etc etc. DOH! So, because of these messages, we’re expecting that in 6 short months we’re going to be making 6 figures in our brand new business, and if we don’t we’ve failed. So, hang on, you’re expecting to be able to understand business, marketing, your message, your niche, your ideal client, what products you want to sell, test everything, create your brand, your content, know how you want to work, actually work with people so you have testimonials, build a reputation, tame all the mindset gremlins you’ve had since you were a child, not to mention all the other things you need to learn or create, and make 6 figures...all in 6 months?? With no help??   Impatience can be the killer of dreams! Impatience clouds your judgement, increases your frustration (which is the biggest driver of quitting!) and makes the mindset gremlins go crazy! ‘Why haven’t YOU done it yet, other people have’. ‘Why aren’t you where they are? They must be better.’ It can really cause you to self sabotage and not make the best decisions for you. It can cause you to be impulsive...and I don’t mean in the romantic oooooh i’m being ‘spontaneous’ kind of way! Great things take time. Give yourself that. I’ve seen a lot of people rush a launch or a new business or new product not feeling prepared and sabotaging their efforts.   It's a habit Remember, as with so much else, patience is a habit. One you can learn and increase over time. Practice makes perfect. So how do you become more patient? You practice it! It allows us to be far more mindful, always good when making decisions, and another great way to practice it! Patience also allows us to let go of the attachment to the outcome. It allows us to trust more that things ARE going to happen in the right way at the right time. It helps us be FAR more resilient too. We learn to get comfortable being uncomfortable!   Patience leads to the good stuff! Practising patience also means you’ll take on the right opportunities, the right clients for you. It also means those ‘too good to be true’ opportunities will be far more considered and analysed for what they really are...good marketing. It allows you to take the time to be more analytical, question things more, look at them from all angles and tweak things as you go along. Rather than rushing in with both feet saying ‘I WANT A MEMBERSHIP’ and setting it up, getting people in there and then realising you’ve created the opposite of the freedom you were aiming for. It doesn’t mean you can’t have a membership, it just means you take the time to make sure it’s what you really want and set up in a way that fits what you want for your life. Being patient doesn’t mean you’re not taking action, quite the opposite. When you can take action, let go of the attachment to the result and know that your efforts will pay off then THAT is a powerful position to be in. It’s also a lot more fun!   Stop with all the pushing So often we PUSH PUSH PUSH trying to get to the end result. Pushing is the definition of something being moved further AWAY. So what if you just stopped pushing and actually enjoyed the journey? The push and hustle doesn’t feel good. We’re not celebrating our successes. We’re not taking the time to analyse and tweak. It’s stressful, it’s frustrating, it knocks our confidence!   How you can practice There are two things I find really helpful in practising patience. One is understanding how we learn new things. Understanding why it’s so hard to make a change. (Go <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/why-does-it-always-feel-hard-making-a-change/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> HERE</a> for more on that!) And also learning and practising <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/reframing/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">reframing</a>. Being able to be mindful and ask yourself what you can do about the situation, what’s a potential GOOD thing about the situation and how else COULD you look at it? These things take time. It takes our unconscious minds time to form new habits and catch up with what our conscious wants to do. It takes time to learn all the things you need to learn. It takes time to know how you REALLY want to run your business, who you want to work with and what works for you. Stop giving yourself a hard time for not getting where you want to be in record time. It’ll just stop you enjoying the journey. Allow yourself the permission for it to take time and know that you’re exactly where you need to be right now. If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!! Fx

075 - Patience Is A Virtue, So Why Is It So Bloomin Hard!?

Have you ever had that feeling of being ‘found out’? Like despite your accomplishments at any point someone’s going to call you out and reveal you as a big old fake who has no idea what they’re doing! The ‘who am I do to this?!’gremlin niggling away so that feeling of not being good enough gets louder and louder…so, why even bother trying to show up? Ever felt like that? Yeah, me too….along with most of the population! That’s the joy of Imposter Syndrome. So…What Is Imposter Syndrome? The term ‘Imposter syndrome’ came from research by two clinical psychologists (Pauline R. Clance and Suzanne A. Imes) back in the 70s.  It was a study primarily of high achieving women as they thought they were the only sufferers, but more recently studies have shown that it affects men and women pretty equally, women were just better at talking about it back then.   Harvard Business Review states “Imposter syndrome can be defined as a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success. ‘Imposters’ suffer from chronic self-doubt and a sense of intellectual fraudulence that override any feelings of success or external proof of their competence.” So what’s actually going on? The bottom line is this fear is activating the fear centre in your brain which causes the fight or flight mode to kick in.  You’re pumping the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline all over your body so it doesn’t feel good at all and is bad for your health in the long run. What Does Imposter Syndrome Cause? Fear.  Fear of being caught out, fear of failure, low self-worth.   This can lead to perfectionism, overworking to make sure you don’t get ‘found out’…which of course can lead to burnout, a perpetual state of anxiety, stress, feelings of shame and even depression. In short it WILL hold you back if you don’t work through it.   Think about it, if you feel like a fraud you’re not going to put yourself out there, you’re not going to put yourself forward for that speaking gig, that article, that huge opportunity that could propel your business forward.   It’s going to keep you stuck and make everything you do feel that much harder! …so it’s pretty important we nip it in the bud right?! What Can You Do To Combat Imposter Syndrome? TALK ABOUT IT!   The main reason it often goes unnoticed is that people struggling with Imposter syndrome feel like they’re keeping a dirty little secret.  When you realise everyone has these thoughts at some point you can feel a weight lift from your shoulders, you’re not alone anymore AND you can also help other people breathe that same sign of relief in the process too when they realise THEY aren’t alone. A couple of great ways to make sure you’re talking to someone who will really ‘get it’,and have the tools to get through it, is to get a coach or mentor who will provide a completely non-judgemental space for you to share, will understand what’s going on and will be able to help you through it so much more quickly.   You can also consider group coaching programmes where you will also build a network of like minded people so it’s a double whammy really! FIND THE EVIDENCE!!! A huge part of Imposter Syndrome is actively avoiding the evidence that you’re not a fraud.  Write a list of all the reasons you know what you’re talking about. All the training, life experience, qualifications, books read, time spent taking online training. Visualise a time you’re achieved something when you’ve felt really capable and proud of yourself.  Reminding the brain of these moments can help calm the fear centre in your brain. Stop looking at successes you HAVE had as luck and appreciate your hard work and effort. On the flip side, are you actually being a bit of an imposter, if you are what do you need to do to NOT be? AFFIRMATIONS.   Literally rewire neural pathways in your brain to not go to the negative on auto pilot through a process called neuroplasticity. For example, ‘I’m amazing at what I do and am highly qualified.’ PROOF OF LOVE. Keep a folder of all the lovely things people say and who you’ve made a difference to.  If you’re ever feeling like a fraud go read it! TAKE A DAMN COMPLIMENT. Seriously, even if it’s uncomfortable just say thank you.  Don’t let your b  JOURNAL.  Use prompts like the one I mentioned above about listing your achievements.  Journaling will help you keep track of what you’ve achieved too so you will be able to look back over your entries and see just how far you’ve come.  Check out my printable journals here for some ideas. UNDERSTAND THAT IT’S PART OF THE PROCESS.   Every time that uber successful person you admire uplevels, launches a new programme, anything new..they feels like an imposter to begin with…then they do the thing and guess what, they stop feeling like an imposter! So there you have it.  Some great ways to keep that Imposter syndrome gremlin in check! When you actually understand and ‘name it’ it really helps it feels MUCH easier to deal with. Remember you’re the only one that can put your message into the world that somebody else needs to hear right at that time, said by you! You can CHOOSE to push through the feeling or let it stop you, it really is up to you.  But once you do it you only grow in confidence, know that! Only talk about what you KNOW you know, you’ve just gotta be a couple of steps in front of someone to be able to help them, you don’t have to know EVERYTHING, the reality is there will always be someone who knows more than you…but there will also ALWAYS be people who know less…talk to them! Fx For more information on this topic head over to https://www.franexcell.com/impostersyndrome/ To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/ Check out my printable journals: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables

Have you ever had that feeling of being ‘found out’? Like despite your accomplishments at any point someone’s going to call you out and reveal you as a big old fake who has no idea what they’re doing! The ‘who am I do to this?!’gremlin niggling away so that feeling of not being good enough gets louder and louder…so, why even bother trying to show up? Ever felt like that? Yeah, me too….along with most of the population! That’s the joy of Imposter Syndrome. So…What Is Imposter Syndrome? The term ‘Imposter syndrome’ came from research by two clinical psychologists (Pauline R. Clance and Suzanne A. Imes) back in the 70s.  It was a study primarily of high achieving women as they thought they were the only sufferers, but more recently studies have shown that it affects men and women pretty equally, women were just better at talking about it back then.   Harvard Business Review states “Imposter syndrome can be defined as a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success. ‘Imposters’ suffer from chronic self-doubt and a sense of intellectual fraudulence that override any feelings of success or external proof of their competence.” So what’s actually going on? The bottom line is this fear is activating the fear centre in your brain which causes the fight or flight mode to kick in.  You’re pumping the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline all over your body so it doesn’t feel good at all and is bad for your health in the long run. What Does Imposter Syndrome Cause? <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/fear/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Fear</a>.  Fear of being caught out, fear of failure, low self-worth.   This can lead to perfectionism, overworking to make sure you don’t get ‘found out’…which of course can lead to burnout, a perpetual state of anxiety, stress, feelings of shame and even depression. In short it WILL hold you back if you don’t work through it.   Think about it, if you feel like a fraud you’re not going to put yourself out there, you’re not going to put yourself forward for that speaking gig, that article, that huge opportunity that could propel your business forward.   It’s going to keep you stuck and make everything you do feel that much harder! …so it’s pretty important we nip it in the bud right?! What Can You Do To Combat Imposter Syndrome? TALK ABOUT IT!   The main reason it often goes unnoticed is that people struggling with Imposter syndrome feel like they’re keeping a dirty little secret.  When you realise everyone has these thoughts at some point you can feel a weight lift from your shoulders, you’re not alone anymore AND you can also help other people breathe that same sign of relief in the process too when they realise THEY aren’t alone. A couple of great ways to make sure you’re talking to someone who will really ‘get it’,and have the tools to get through it, is to get a <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/whatisacoach/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">coach or mentor</a> who will provide a completely non-judgemental space for you to share, will understand what’s going on and will be able to help you through it so much more quickly.   You can also consider group coaching programmes where you will also build a network of like minded people so it’s a double whammy really! FIND THE EVIDENCE!!! A huge part of Imposter Syndrome is actively avoiding the evidence that you’re not a fraud.  Write a list of all the reasons you know what you’re talking about. All the training, life experience, qualifications, books read, time spent taking online training. Visualise a time you’re achieved something when you’ve felt really capable and proud of yourself.  Reminding the brain of these moments can help calm the fear centre in your brain. Stop looking at successes you HAVE had as luck and appreciate your hard work and effort. On the flip side, are you actually being a bit of an imposter, if you are what do you need to do to NOT be? AFFIRMATIONS.   Literally rewire neural pathways in your brain to not go to the negative on auto pilot through a process called neuroplasticity. For example, ‘I’m amazing at what I do and am highly qualified.’ PROOF OF LOVE. Keep a folder of all the lovely things people say and who you’ve made a difference to.  If you’re ever feeling like a fraud go read it! TAKE A DAMN COMPLIMENT. Seriously, even if it’s uncomfortable just say thank you.  Don’t let your b <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/use-journal-feel-better-journalling-non-dear-diary-type/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> JOURNAL</a>.  Use <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/selfbeliefjournalprompts/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">prompts</a> like the one I mentioned above about listing your achievements.  Journaling will help you keep track of what you’ve achieved too so you will be able to look back over your entries and see just how far you’ve come.  Check out my printable journals <a href="https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here for some ideas.</a> UNDERSTAND THAT IT’S PART OF THE PROCESS.   Every time that uber successful person you admire uplevels, launches a new programme, anything new..they feels like an imposter to begin with…then they do the thing and guess what, they stop feeling like an imposter! So there you have it.  Some great ways to keep that Imposter syndrome gremlin in check! When you actually understand and ‘name it’ it really helps it feels MUCH easier to deal with. Remember you’re the only one that can put your message into the world that somebody else needs to hear right at that time, said by you! You can CHOOSE to push through the feeling or let it stop you, it really is up to you.  But once you do it you only grow in confidence, know that! Only talk about what you KNOW you know, you’ve just gotta be a couple of steps in front of someone to be able to help them, you don’t have to know EVERYTHING, the reality is there will always be someone who knows more than you…but there will also ALWAYS be people who know less…talk to them! Fx For more information on this topic head over to <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/impostersyndrome/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.franexcell.com/impostersyndrome/</a> To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/</a> Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: <a href="https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/</a> Check out my printable journals: <a href="https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables</a>

017 - How To Stop Feeling Like An Imposter

What stress does to you   Show note links: For more on this head to: https://www.franexcell.com/the-thing-about-stress For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/ Check out my printable journal store here: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables What stress does to you   Stress is something that can catch us all at one point or another no matter the job/business/industry.   Having attended a huge conference for entrepreneurs in the UK back in November and through working with female business owners something has become very clear to me.   Too many people running their own businesses are STRESSED!     I mean we all know it can be stressful juggling and running a business but it almost feels like it’s just accepted as the norm, as part and parcel of chasing your dreams, or even worn as a badge of honour.   They’re MORE stressed than when they were in their jobs. It’s almost as if it’s accepted to be par for the course of owning your own business that you head towards burnout on a daily basis.   But what if we just let go. What if it didn’t HAVE to be that way...that would be nicer right? Maybe even more fun?   In previous blog posts i’ve talked about a lot of things that contribute to (Overwhelm, Procrastination, Perfectionism, Lack of certainty to name a few) and can help ease stress (Mindfulness, Visualisation,  Journaling, Gratitude, Reframing, Kindness) but I want to just highlight a couple of things that I feel are really important to understand.   Stress can be literally dangerous to your health.   In certain situations stress CAN be good for you don’t get me wrong, in terms of an extra boost of motivation, or saving your life from a rogue lion but when there is no real imminent danger or threat and you’re living your life in a perpetual state of stress and anxiety it’s very much in the NOT good for you camp.     It’s a natural reaction and very normal but what we want is to be able to limit it and not let it get out of control. As I often say, you can’t control your first reaction but you CAN control your second.   Unfortunately your body doesn’t really tell the difference very well between emotional ‘threats’ and actual real life danger physical threats so you get stress hormones, Cortisol and Adrenaline, running through your body either way. Which, over time, can have huge detrimental effects on your overall health.   Over time stress has a big effect on your body.     It can affect pretty much every area.  All your energy is constantly going to the key areas to help with ‘fight or flight’ which means energy and attention is taken away from other key systems and processes you need in your body.   For example, when you’re stressed a lot you tend to get ill, have a bad stomach, headaches, sleep issues, pains in your body, extreme tiredness, you also have an increased risk of heart attack among many other things.  So, many physical symptoms from quite an emotional response.   Other effects of stress on the body is heart disease, high blood pressure, physical aches and pains, loss of sex drive, stomach issues, insomnia among a tonne of other things that it can CAUSE you to do.  Think overeating, not eating enough, too much alcohol, smoking, snapping at people, withdrawing from people...essentially numbing out!   The danger is also stress turning into full on burnout which can wreak havoc for entrepreneurs (and anyone really!) and can leave you floored for weeks, sometimes much longer.   It’s also not just you it affects, it affects your loved ones too.  It might make you irritable, forgetful, hindering your ability to concentrate.   There are also a LOT of simple things you can implement in your life that will calm this response down and be able to act as an intervention when you’re really feeling it!   Meditation and Mindfulness   Who is this helping   4-7-8-3 and other mindful breathing techniques. Breathe in for a count of 4, hold for a count of 7, breathe out for a count of 8 and repeat 3 times.  This always grounds me and brings me back to the calm place I want to be.   Get out of overwhelm with the  scary brain dump to do list and outsource anything not in your zone of genius.   Self care!   Exercise and eat right!  I know it sounds really boring and like a broken record but it makes SUCH a difference.  Find an exercise that’s right for you, even if it’s walking and eating the right foods will make a world of difference.   Set yourself a resource anchor for a different state. So when you feel stress, access a time you felt totally calm, or happy, or in control, whatever you may want to feel instead that would be helpful for you and really take yourself back to that moment.  You can’t feel two opposing states at the same time and this may be enough just to ground you in the moment and get you back on track.   The key is really to create that awareness.  Your body is sending you all these signals for a reason.  It’s time to slow down. Take time to look after yourself but making sure that is a consistent part of your routine because if you’re perpetually in a state of stress or anxiety what’s the point really?  You only get one life and that’s not what it’s all about.   Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish, it’s selfless.  It’s not just for you that you’re doing it. Take a moment to picture yourself going about your day WITHOUT the stress, are you still getting things done?  In fact, are you getting MORE done?   Work out what triggers the stress response in you and then get brainstorming about how you can make sure it doesn’t happen in the first place.  What can you outsource? What specific tasks tend to be the ones that stress you out? What in your life is causing you stress?   It’s really easy to look at some of these things and say you can’t do anything about them but honestly, the majority of the time there really is something you can do about it, something you can do differently, you just need to look for it and question it.     And as for the rest of the time, if you have no control over it and REALLY can’t do anything about it what is the point of getting stressed about it?  Will it change anything? Will it hurt anybody apart from yourself? Will it hurt the people that love you? Will it actually help anything?   The scary thing is when people ignore stress and it gets out of control.  That’s where the damage gets done. So start to be aware, use the tools and techniques i’ve talked you through in other posts and make sure you use them and if you feel you need it of course please go see your doctor.   You weren’t meant to live your life in a constant state of stress, so let’s change it!   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!! All the details are in the link below and I hope to see you on the inside.   Fx

What stress does to you Show note links: For more on this head to: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/the-thing-about-stress" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.franexcell.com/the-thing-about-stress</a> For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants</a> Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you: <a href="https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min</a> To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/</a> Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: <a href="https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/</a> Check out my printable journal store here: <a href="https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables</a> What stress does to you Stress is something that can catch us all at one point or another no matter the job/business/industry. Having attended a huge conference for entrepreneurs in the UK back in November and through working with female business owners something has become very clear to me. Too many people running their own businesses are STRESSED!   I mean we all know it can be stressful juggling and running a business but it almost feels like it’s just accepted as the norm, as part and parcel of chasing your dreams, or even worn as a badge of honour. They’re MORE stressed than when they were in their jobs. It’s almost as if it’s accepted to be par for the course of owning your own business that you head towards burnout on a daily basis. But what if we just let go. What if it didn’t HAVE to be that way...that would be nicer right? Maybe even more fun? In previous blog posts i’ve talked about a lot of things that contribute to (<a href="https://www.franexcell.com/recogniseoverwhelm/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Overwhelm</a>, <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/stopprocrastinating/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Procrastination</a>, <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/perfectionism/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Perfectionism</a>, <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/certainty/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Lack of certainty</a> to name a few) and can help ease stress (<a href="https://www.franexcell.com/mindfulnessbenefits/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Mindfulness</a>, <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/visualisation/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Visualisation</a>, <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/use-journal-feel-better-journalling-non-dear-diary-type/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Journaling</a>, <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/gratitude/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Gratitude</a>, <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/reframing/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Reframing</a>, <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/kindness/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Kindness</a>) but I want to just highlight a couple of things that I feel are really important to understand. Stress can be literally dangerous to your health. In certain situations stress CAN be good for you don’t get me wrong, in terms of an extra boost of motivation, or saving your life from a rogue lion but when there is no real imminent danger or threat and you’re living your life in a perpetual state of stress and anxiety it’s very much in the NOT good for you camp.   It’s a natural reaction and very normal but what we want is to be able to limit it and not let it get out of control. As I often say, you can’t control your first reaction but you CAN control your second. Unfortunately your body doesn’t really tell the difference very well between emotional ‘threats’ and actual real life danger physical threats so you get stress hormones, Cortisol and Adrenaline, running through your body either way. Which, over time, can have huge detrimental effects on your overall health. Over time stress has a big effect on your body.   It can affect pretty much every area.  All your energy is constantly going to the key areas to help with ‘fight or flight’ which means energy and attention is taken away from other key systems and processes you need in your body. For example, when you’re stressed a lot you tend to get ill, have a bad stomach, headaches, sleep issues, pains in your body, extreme tiredness, you also have an increased risk of heart attack among many other things.  So, many physical symptoms from quite an emotional response. Other effects of stress on the body is heart disease, high blood pressure, physical aches and pains, loss of sex drive, stomach issues, insomnia among a tonne of other things that it can CAUSE you to do.  Think overeating, not eating enough, too much alcohol, smoking, snapping at people, withdrawing from people...essentially numbing out! The danger is also stress turning into full on burnout which can wreak havoc for entrepreneurs (and anyone really!) and can leave you floored for weeks, sometimes much longer. It’s also not just you it affects, it affects your loved ones too.  It might make you irritable, forgetful, hindering your ability to concentrate. There are also a LOT of simple things you can implement in your life that will calm this response down and be able to act as an intervention when you’re really feeling it! Meditation and <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/mindfulnessbenefits/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Mindfulness</a> Who is this helping 4-7-8-3 and other mindful breathing techniques. Breathe in for a count of 4, hold for a count of 7, breathe out for a count of 8 and repeat 3 times.  This always grounds me and brings me back to the calm place I want to be. Get out of overwhelm with the <a href="https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/589924671/scary-brain-dump-to-do-list?ref=shop_home_active_5" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> scary brain dump to do list</a> and outsource anything not in your zone of genius. Self care! Exercise and eat right!  I know it sounds really boring and like a broken record but it makes SUCH a difference.  Find an exercise that’s right for you, even if it’s walking and eating the right foods will make a world of difference. Set yourself a resource anchor for a different state. So when you feel stress, access a time you felt totally calm, or happy, or in control, whatever you may want to feel instead that would be helpful for you and really take yourself back to that moment.  You can’t feel two opposing states at the same time and this may be enough just to ground you in the moment and get you back on track. The key is really to create that awareness.  Your body is sending you all these signals for a reason.  It’s time to slow down. Take time to look after yourself but making sure that is a consistent part of your routine because if you’re perpetually in a state of stress or anxiety what’s the point really?  You only get one life and that’s not what it’s all about. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish, it’s selfless.  It’s not just for you that you’re doing it. Take a moment to picture yourself going about your day WITHOUT the stress, are you still getting things done?  In fact, are you getting MORE done? Work out what triggers the stress response in you and then get brainstorming about how you can make sure it doesn’t happen in the first place.  What can you outsource? What specific tasks tend to be the ones that stress you out? What in your life is causing you stress? It’s really easy to look at some of these things and say you can’t do anything about them but honestly, the majority of the time there really is something you can do about it, something you can do differently, you just need to look for it and question it.   And as for the rest of the time, if you have no control over it and REALLY can’t do anything about it what is the point of getting stressed about it?  Will it change anything? Will it hurt anybody apart from yourself? Will it hurt the people that love you? Will it actually help anything? The scary thing is when people ignore stress and it gets out of control.  That’s where the damage gets done. So start to be aware, use the tools and techniques i’ve talked you through in other posts and make sure you use them and if you feel you need it of course please go see your doctor. You weren’t meant to live your life in a constant state of stress, so let’s change it! If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!! All the details are in the link below and I hope to see you on the inside. Fx

056 - What Stress Can Do To You

Why Managing Your Energy Is So Important!   Your energy levels literally affect everything you do.   We can very easily get caught up in feeling like if we’re in a bad mood or feeling negative that there’s something fundamentally ‘wrong’ with us at an identity level.   Which just escalates the negative feeling right?     Then you start to beat yourself up for not being positive or not showing up in the way that you want to.   But with a little self awareness we can overcome that pesky ego, realise it may not actually be about us and be able to handle it SOooooo much better.   The reason I want to talk about this today is because I have just got back from a super intense event in Amsterdam and it was SO interesting to observe my moods, my behaviour, where my thoughts wanted to go as the week progressed based completely around my energy levels.   What gives me energy and what takes it away and what the results are of me having a lack of energy.   This often happens to me at these kinds of events...new levels of self awareness aplenty!   This is important!   It highlighted something for me that I want to share with you because it’s so fundamentally important to understand that you are not your thoughts, you are not your moods BUT your energy can really affect both.   We make assumptions about what the problem is...and we usually decide it’s us!   I covered a lot of this in the episode ‘What’s the problem Really?’ about where we can very easily make assumptions about what’s ‘wrong’ with us and labelling it that it actually stops us identifying the very thing that could make you feel better much more quickly and easily because we stop looking for the root of the issue.   You can identify it and literally snap yourself out of the feeling because you have no emotional attachment to it anymore!    Where’s the non negotiables?   I normally have some pretty strict non negotiables with myself and my routine that are obviously very difficult...if not impossible, to follow while you’re away and technically on someone else’s schedule.   Things like sleep.  I’m an 8 hours per night kind of a gal. I’m really strict with it because I know how much it affects me.   A lack of sleep in general can cause you to lose concentration and productivity.    It decreases your social and emotional intelligence, so your ability to read situations, other people and your own emotions.    It can cause procrastination and a lack of motivation.    You lack focus.    Essentially your brain can’t function to the best of its ability.    You’re off your game!   I like to get up a couple of hours earlier than I ‘need’ to to go through my routine…cup of earl grey or hot water and lemon, read some of my book, journal etc.   One of my biggest peeves in life is feeling ‘rushed’ and I know that about myself so I put contingencies in place which means I very rarely do feel it...until it’s more out of my control.   So...when I'm at 5 day events that are 8am until 11pm with few breaks, and when you DO have a break you have to rush to the toilet or rush to find food nearby meaning it doesn’t feel like much of a ‘break’,  it becomes a choice between slightly more sleep or feeling rushed in the morning.     So I would always choose sleep because I know that will have a much bigger effect on me and my experience at the event.    Another is eating rubbish and not drinking enough water.   I ACTIVELY go against what I know to be true and not drink lots of water because there are limited breaks.     That’s bonkers but it happens because I don’t want to leave the room and miss something and I don’t want to sit there cross legged unable to concentrate and I make a choice for what’s going to be better for me in that moment, it may not be the choice you would make.   I also eat a LOT, I have loads of snacks because when I really feel my energy drop or start to feel sleepy the best thing for ME to do is snack.     BUT...then I feel bad about eating alllll the snacks...but at least i’m awake right?   And if i’m being honest all this stuff can affect me quite a lot and until I catch myself in it I can get a bit frustrated with myself because guess what...i’m a human too! Ha!     You don’t have to be perfect all the time and sometimes it’s actually really hard and often impractical to 100% practice what you preach. BUT it’s about doing what you CAN and being AWARE and practicing alittle compassion and forgiveness for yourself ha!   So, how can this help you?   I’m going to tell you the behaviours and thoughts that I noticed in myself and you might be able to identify a couple of yours, meaning that next time you’re feeling not quite yourself you can use that self awareness to ‘troubleshoot’ if you will and get back on track.     It will help you identify what you need more or less of.   It will help you understand it’s not YOU, on an unconscious identity level, so to speak and therefore reducing the emotions surrounding it, meaning you can simply choose another thought and let it go.   It wasn’t a surprise   So, with all this it’s no surprise to me that I started to feel frustrated with myself and like I wasn’t showing up as my best possible Frannie when I was tired, was eating rubbish, eating WAY more than I normally would and my brain was just utterly overloaded and I was 100% out of my routine. I couldn’t even get a cup of tea ha!   Why is tea with milk only a thing in England?!   This training was incredible, don’t get me wrong, I feel SO grateful and fortunate to be able to do these things and have access to literally the best of the best in terms of training and education and I don’t take that for granted.   BUT, I can find them tough.  Energising at the same time because the speakers are world class at managing the energy in the room, but tough.   The person teaching was literally my mentor's mentor when it comes to marketing.     He has trained some of the BEST in the industry.  Russell Brunson, Ryan Deiss, Brian Tracy, Vishen Lakhiani, Brendon Burchard, Jay Abraham and tonnes more so I was making sure I was taking copious amounts of notes and making sure I absorbed as much as I could.   Then came the overload!   Psychologist George Miller’s research suggests the short term memory can only hold so much information at once.  7 chunks of information plus or minus 2 depending on the person. So that’s 5-9 pieces. Not a lot right?   Processing information takes up a HUGE amount of energy.  The brain uses up 20% (!) of the body’s total energy in a resting state...when you consider how small the brain is in comparison you can see just how high a percentage that really is.    The areas that use the MOST energy are responsible for auditory processing and memory….and what do you need most when you’re learning??!   So you can see where this is going right?   Overloaded brain. Not enough sleep. Eating rubbish food and lots of it. Running off adrenaline and rushing everywhere. Out of my routine.   When all this is going on all the things you’ve worked hard to stop doing seem to bubble right up to the surface.   So there’s the REAL thing that was going on, the cause of my frustration if you will...now let’s have a talk about some of the ‘symptoms’ so you can see if any resonate for you and if they do, where in your life right now are you out of balance?     What else could be a good possible cause for negative feelings?   Can you see an easy course correct that would get you feeling better?   How are you taking care of yourself and protecting your energy?   I found myself feeling/being:   More negativity. More skepticism.   Less patience with myself and other people. Less concentration.  More judgemental. People started to annoy mea bit, my fuse got shorter. I wanted to hermit a bit.  The introvert in me was having a field day! Lack of focus. Generally a little bit moany.   Now, for me, I find it very easy to catch myself in these moments and to know what’s REALLY going on and flip my thoughts and reframe in an instant, so it’s annoying that you feel it but much easier to get out of.   I’m already in the habit of being the ‘observer’ of my thoughts, being curious and asking myself the right questions.  You will get there too if you’re not just yet.   So the main thing is knowing how to get out of those thought processes as and when you want to but also thinking outside the box for ways to improve the situation.    What COULD you do that would potentially create some damage limitation for the lack of energy?   The more you can recognise your own patterns, habits and behaviours the easier and quicker it is for you to get out of.   So when you’re feeling a bit ‘meh’ or not feeling yourself have a look at a few of these things, where is your energy?     What normally goves you energy that you’re not doing? What tweak could you make that you know is going to make you feel better?   Exercise? Blasting out a power ballad?  Drinking more water? I’ve got a tonne of other ideas in the episode  ‘How to change your state quickly’ so go check that out!   With the awful news last week of the beautiful Caroline Flack I also think it’s hugely important to mention if you are feeling low for a sustained period of time then please do seek the relevant help.    There is ALWAYS someone ready and waiting to talk to you whether it’s a friend or family member, a health professional or a company like the Samaritans there IS always someone there for you.  https://www.samaritans.org/ Call 116 123 24 hours a day in the UK whether you’re worried about yourself or a loved one.    And in a world where you can be anything, please, please #bekind, to yourself and others. Think before you speak, think before you judge and remember you never know what might be going on for someone else.   Lets all lead with a little more love.   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx

Why Managing Your Energy Is So Important! Your energy levels literally affect everything you do. We can very easily get caught up in feeling like if we’re in a bad mood or feeling negative that there’s something fundamentally ‘wrong’ with us at an identity level. Which just escalates the negative feeling right?   Then you start to beat yourself up for not being positive or not showing up in the way that you want to. But with a little self awareness we can overcome that pesky ego, realise it may not actually be about us and be able to handle it SOooooo much better. The reason I want to talk about this today is because I have just got back from a super intense event in Amsterdam and it was SO interesting to observe my moods, my behaviour, where my thoughts wanted to go as the week progressed based completely around my energy levels. What gives me energy and what takes it away and what the results are of me having a lack of energy. This often happens to me at these kinds of events...new levels of self awareness aplenty! This is important! It highlighted something for me that I want to share with you because it’s so fundamentally important to understand that you are not your thoughts, you are not your moods BUT your energy can really affect both. We make assumptions about what the problem is...and we usually decide it’s us! I covered a lot of this in the episode <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/whats-the-problem-really/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">‘What’s the problem Really?’</a> about where we can very easily make assumptions about what’s ‘wrong’ with us and labelling it that it actually stops us identifying the very thing that could make you feel better much more quickly and easily because we stop looking for the root of the issue. You can identify it and literally snap yourself out of the feeling because you have no emotional attachment to it anymore!  Where’s the non negotiables? I normally have some pretty strict non negotiables with myself and my routine that are obviously very difficult...if not impossible, to follow while you’re away and technically on someone else’s schedule. Things like sleep.  I’m an 8 hours per night kind of a gal. I’m really strict with it because I know how much it affects me. A lack of sleep in general can cause you to lose concentration and productivity.  It decreases your social and emotional intelligence, so your ability to read situations, other people and your own emotions.  It can cause procrastination and a lack of motivation.  You lack focus.  Essentially your brain can’t function to the best of its ability.  You’re off your game! I like to get up a couple of hours earlier than I ‘need’ to to go through my routine…cup of earl grey or hot water and lemon, read some of my book, journal etc. One of my biggest peeves in life is feeling ‘rushed’ and I know that about myself so I put contingencies in place which means I very rarely do feel it...until it’s more out of my control. So...when I'm at 5 day events that are 8am until 11pm with few breaks, and when you DO have a break you have to rush to the toilet or rush to find food nearby meaning it doesn’t feel like much of a ‘break’,  it becomes a choice between slightly more sleep or feeling rushed in the morning.   So I would always choose sleep because I know that will have a much bigger effect on me and my experience at the event.  Another is eating rubbish and not drinking enough water. I ACTIVELY go against what I know to be true and not drink lots of water because there are limited breaks.   That’s bonkers but it happens because I don’t want to leave the room and miss something and I don’t want to sit there cross legged unable to concentrate and I make a choice for what’s going to be better for me in that moment, it may not be the choice you would make. I also eat a LOT, I have loads of snacks because when I really feel my energy drop or start to feel sleepy the best thing for ME to do is snack.   BUT...then I feel bad about eating alllll the snacks...but at least i’m awake right? And if i’m being honest all this stuff can affect me quite a lot and until I catch myself in it I can get a bit frustrated with myself because guess what...i’m a human too! Ha!   You don’t have to be perfect all the time and sometimes it’s actually really hard and often impractical to 100% practice what you preach. BUT it’s about doing what you CAN and being AWARE and practicing alittle compassion and forgiveness for yourself ha! So, how can this help you? I’m going to tell you the behaviours and thoughts that I noticed in myself and you might be able to identify a couple of yours, meaning that next time you’re feeling not quite yourself you can use that self awareness to ‘troubleshoot’ if you will and get back on track.   It will help you identify what you need more or less of. It will help you understand it’s not YOU, on an unconscious identity level, so to speak and therefore reducing the emotions surrounding it, meaning you can simply choose another thought and let it go. It wasn’t a surprise So, with all this it’s no surprise to me that I started to feel frustrated with myself and like I wasn’t showing up as my best possible Frannie when I was tired, was eating rubbish, eating WAY more than I normally would and my brain was just utterly overloaded and I was 100% out of my routine. I couldn’t even get a cup of tea ha! Why is tea with milk only a thing in England?! This training was incredible, don’t get me wrong, I feel SO grateful and fortunate to be able to do these things and have access to literally the best of the best in terms of training and education and I don’t take that for granted. BUT, I can find them tough.  Energising at the same time because the speakers are world class at managing the energy in the room, but tough. The person teaching was literally my mentor's mentor when it comes to marketing.   He has trained some of the BEST in the industry.  Russell Brunson, Ryan Deiss, Brian Tracy, Vishen Lakhiani, Brendon Burchard, Jay Abraham and tonnes more so I was making sure I was taking copious amounts of notes and making sure I absorbed as much as I could. Then came the overload! Psychologist George Miller’s research suggests the short term memory can only hold so much information at once.  7 chunks of information plus or minus 2 depending on the person. So that’s 5-9 pieces. Not a lot right? Processing information takes up a HUGE amount of energy.  The brain uses up 20% (!) of the body’s total energy in a resting state...when you consider how small the brain is in comparison you can see just how high a percentage that really is.  The areas that use the MOST energy are responsible for auditory processing and memory….and what do you need most when you’re learning??! So you can see where this is going right? Overloaded brain. Not enough sleep. Eating rubbish food and lots of it. Running off adrenaline and rushing everywhere. Out of my routine. When all this is going on all the things you’ve worked hard to stop doing seem to bubble right up to the surface. So there’s the REAL thing that was going on, the cause of my frustration if you will...now let’s have a talk about some of the ‘symptoms’ so you can see if any resonate for you and if they do, where in your life right now are you out of balance?   What else could be a good possible cause for negative feelings? Can you see an easy course correct that would get you feeling better? How are you taking care of yourself and protecting your energy? I found myself feeling/being: More negativity. More skepticism.   Less patience with myself and other people. Less concentration.  More judgemental. People started to annoy mea bit, my fuse got shorter. I wanted to hermit a bit.  The introvert in me was having a field day! Lack of focus. Generally a little bit moany. Now, for me, I find it very easy to catch myself in these moments and to know what’s REALLY going on and flip my thoughts and reframe in an instant, so it’s annoying that you feel it but much easier to get out of. I’m already in the habit of being the ‘observer’ of my thoughts, being curious and asking myself the right questions.  You will get there too if you’re not just yet. So the main thing is knowing how to get out of those thought processes as and when you want to but also thinking outside the box for ways to improve the situation.  What COULD you do that would potentially create some damage limitation for the lack of energy? The more you can recognise your own patterns, habits and behaviours the easier and quicker it is for you to get out of. So when you’re feeling a bit ‘meh’ or not feeling yourself have a look at a few of these things, where is your energy?   What normally goves you energy that you’re not doing? What tweak could you make that you know is going to make you feel better? Exercise? Blasting out a power ballad?  Drinking more water? I’ve got a tonne of other ideas in the episode <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/change-your-state-quickly/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> ‘How to change your state quickly</a>’ so go check that out! With the awful news last week of the beautiful Caroline Flack I also think it’s hugely important to mention if you are feeling low for a sustained period of time then please do seek the relevant help.  There is ALWAYS someone ready and waiting to talk to you whether it’s a friend or family member, a health professional or a company like the Samaritans there IS always someone there for you.  <a href="https://www.samaritans.org/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.samaritans.org/</a> Call 116 123 24 hours a day in the UK whether you’re worried about yourself or a loved one.  And in a world where you can be anything, please, please #bekind, to yourself and others. Think before you speak, think before you judge and remember you never know what might be going on for someone else. Lets all lead with a little more love. If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a <a href="https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">free discovery call</a> so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!  Fx

110 - Why Managing Your Energy Is So Important!

What Stories Are You Telling Yourself? Show note links: To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/   Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/   Book in a discovery call with me: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min Check out my printable journal store here: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables   For more information on this topic head over to: https://www.franexcell.com/stories/ What ‘stories’ are you telling yourself? As humans we are natural storytellers. We go through life telling them, believing them and picking them up from other people and our experiences as we go along. But the ‘stories’ i’m talking about here aren’t necessarily the ones you might tell out loud.   Stories Are Beliefs These stories are the things you fundamentally believe to be true…to the point you’d never challenge whether they’re even true. They are fundamental beliefs that you have. The thing is, the majority of the time the stories that we are telling ourselves are the very things that are holding us back and simply creating awareness of what they are can be enough to start moving forwards in life.   Stories Are Everywhere These honestly affect every single area of your life.   What do you believe to be true about relationships, friendships, your own abilities, how easy it is to make money?   These stories are woven through every single aspect of our lives.  They can be beneficial, but they can often be SO so damaging too.   Evidence When you have one, your brain will always actively give you the evidence that it’s true.  As much as your brain can have some funny ways it’s trying to look after you it doesn’t half get it wrong sometimes.   Fundamentally it wants to ‘please’ you and affirm that you’re right. So that’s what you get…until you look for the evidence to the contrary!   Here’s A Few Of Mine Here’s a few stories that I had for decades that directly held me back from going after what I wanted. ‘I’m not pretty enough or thin enough to get a great relationship, job, run my own business, write a book, or do anything of any sort of significance really’. ‘I’m not clever enough and I’m no good with numbers so I couldn’t start a business.’ (Three stories rolled into one right there…from the girl who was in advertising sales and negotiated and handled multi million pound contracts for 14 years and now has her own business!) ‘I’m no good at learning!’ (It’s one of my FAVOURITE things and I collect qualifications like they’re stamps!) ‘I can’t be a coach because you can only coach people in person and within a 5 mile radius of where you live (errrrr…!This genuinely stopped me becoming a coach for 4 YEARS!!! Helloooooo Internet!) ‘I’m not good enough to write a book.’ (OK I may have procrastinated over it for about 15 years but it’s coming I promise!)   It’s All Down To Your Stories Where you’re at now is as a direct result of the stories you tell yourself.  They’re ingrained deep into your subconscious mind. The thing is…it’s usually all utter rubbish.   So what we need to do is we need to bring it from your unconscious and into your conscious mind.   Becoming aware of, identifying and challenging these stories is how and why I get to do all the things I do today.   Watch Out For Those Sneaky Positive Negatives! The other thing to watch out for with these stories is the positive payback the negative stories can have.   They allow other people to empathise with us, give us attention, sympathy, validation. It feels GOOD to feel understood right? The trick is to be REALLY honest with yourself about which ones are serving you and which ones aren’t.   If there is a positive payback you need to decide which you want in your life because it’s holding you back but you do have a choice over which one you want more.   Start To Become Aware Start to be aware of all of your ‘I can’t because…’ stories.  Are they really true? Go back to where you think this story came from, challenge it!  You’ll find the majority of them are completely untrue.   Get Your Pen Out! The thing about stories though…as much as you can tell them and believe them…you also get to rewrite them! They’re yours and nobody else’s! You have the control and the power to change YOUR story, and you can start doing it today!   Exercise: In your journal I want you to write down all the things you want to achieve.  As many as you can think of. Now next to all of those I want you to write down all the reasons you’ve been telling yourself that you can’t do or have those things in your life. Take your time over this it’s like peeling an onion, there’s always another layer. All the ‘I can’t because..’ and ‘not yet because…’ stories and beliefs. What are the things you’d love to do but have told yourself you ‘never could because…’, all the ‘i’m not…’ stories. What stories are you telling yourself about your business?   Is it that you could never speak in public because you’re too shy, or do a facebook live, or write a book, or go to a networking event, or is it that you’re too ‘unlucky’ in life, or ‘people would never pay X for what I have to offer’, I’m far too busy, I don’t have time!!     Hint If You’re Struggling If you’re struggling you’ll often find them hidden in the stories you tell other people, and the ‘excuses’ you give other people about why you’re not doing or can’t have something that you want, the ways you justify not having them yet.   Like I said, these are the ways that you’re actually seeking validation from other people, if they agree with you it’s like a relief to your subconscious that it’s ‘OK’ to behave how you are. Really go to town on this exercise because it’s SO important to identify these if you’re going to move past them and change your story.   Time For Your New Story Now I want you to write out your NEW story, based in evidence that IS believable for you. So ‘I’m not good enough to have a successful business’ can change to ‘There are plenty of other people running successful businesses who are less qualified than me so there’s no reason I can’t be just as successful if not more so.’   Turn it into a ‘well why the hell NOT me?!’ Find facts that support your new story and debunk your old one!   Be Kind Be kind to yourself in this exercise and through this process. These stories and beliefs won’t shift overnight. You’ve been ‘knowing’ them to be true your whole life! BUT shifting them WILL change your life so stick with it and be patient and then watch every area of your life grow exponentially. When you do this work you will see change so quickly. You’ll see new opportunities, have new ideas, feel SO much less limited so it’s worth a little effort and discomfort right? Fx

What Stories Are You Telling Yourself? Show note links: To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/</a> Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: <a href="https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/</a> Book in a discovery call with me: <a href="https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min</a> Check out my printable journal store here: <a href="https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables</a> For more information on this topic head over to: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/stories/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.franexcell.com/stories/</a> What ‘stories’ are you telling yourself? As humans we are natural storytellers. We go through life telling them, believing them and picking them up from other people and our experiences as we go along. But the ‘stories’ i’m talking about here aren’t necessarily the ones you might tell out loud.   Stories Are Beliefs These stories are the things you fundamentally believe to be true…to the point you’d never challenge whether they’re even true. They are fundamental beliefs that you have. The thing is, the majority of the time the stories that we are telling ourselves are the very things that are holding us back and simply creating awareness of what they are can be enough to start moving forwards in life.   Stories Are Everywhere These honestly affect every single area of your life.   What do you believe to be true about relationships, friendships, your own abilities, how easy it is to make money?   These stories are woven through every single aspect of our lives.  They can be beneficial, but they can often be SO so damaging too.   Evidence When you have one, your brain will always actively give you the evidence that it’s true.  As much as your brain can have some funny ways it’s trying to look after you it doesn’t half get it wrong sometimes.   Fundamentally it wants to ‘please’ you and affirm that you’re right. So that’s what you get…until you look for the evidence to the contrary!   Here’s A Few Of Mine Here’s a few stories that I had for decades that directly held me back from going after what I wanted. ‘I’m not pretty enough or thin enough to get a great relationship, job, run my own business, write a book, or do anything of any sort of significance really’. ‘I’m not clever enough and I’m no good with numbers so I couldn’t start a business.’ (Three stories rolled into one right there…from the girl who was in advertising sales and negotiated and handled multi million pound contracts for 14 years and now has her own business!) ‘I’m no good at learning!’ (It’s one of my FAVOURITE things and I collect qualifications like they’re stamps!) ‘I can’t be a coach because you can only coach people in person and within a 5 mile radius of where you live (errrrr…!This genuinely stopped me becoming a coach for 4 YEARS!!! Helloooooo Internet!) ‘I’m not good enough to write a book.’ (OK I may have procrastinated over it for about 15 years but it’s coming I promise!)   It’s All Down To Your Stories Where you’re at now is as a direct result of the stories you tell yourself.  They’re ingrained deep into your subconscious mind. The thing is…it’s usually all utter rubbish.   So what we need to do is we need to bring it from your unconscious and into your conscious mind.   Becoming aware of, identifying and challenging these stories is how and why I get to do all the things I do today.   Watch Out For Those Sneaky Positive Negatives! The other thing to watch out for with these stories is the positive payback the negative stories can have.   They allow other people to empathise with us, give us attention, sympathy, validation. It feels GOOD to feel understood right? The trick is to be REALLY honest with yourself about which ones are serving you and which ones aren’t.   If there is a positive payback you need to decide which you want in your life because it’s holding you back but you do have a choice over which one you want more.   Start To Become Aware Start to be aware of all of your ‘I can’t because…’ stories.  Are they really true? Go back to where you think this story came from, challenge it!  You’ll find the majority of them are completely untrue.   Get Your Pen Out! The thing about stories though…as much as you can tell them and believe them…you also get to rewrite them! They’re yours and nobody else’s! You have the control and the power to change YOUR story, and you can start doing it today!   Exercise: In your journal I want you to write down all the things you want to achieve.  As many as you can think of. Now next to all of those I want you to write down all the reasons you’ve been telling yourself that you can’t do or have those things in your life. Take your time over this it’s like peeling an onion, there’s always another layer. All the ‘I can’t because..’ and ‘not yet because…’ stories and beliefs. What are the things you’d love to do but have told yourself you ‘never could because…’, all the ‘i’m not…’ stories. What stories are you telling yourself about your business?   Is it that you could never speak in public because you’re too shy, or do a facebook live, or write a book, or go to a networking event, or is it that you’re too ‘unlucky’ in life, or ‘people would never pay X for what I have to offer’, I’m far too busy, I don’t have time!!     Hint If You’re Struggling If you’re struggling you’ll often find them hidden in the stories you tell other people, and the ‘excuses’ you give other people about why you’re not doing or can’t have something that you want, the ways you justify not having them yet.   Like I said, these are the ways that you’re actually seeking validation from other people, if they agree with you it’s like a relief to your subconscious that it’s ‘OK’ to behave how you are. Really go to town on this exercise because it’s SO important to identify these if you’re going to move past them and change your story.   Time For Your New Story Now I want you to write out your NEW story, based in evidence that IS believable for you. So ‘I’m not good enough to have a successful business’ can change to ‘There are plenty of other people running successful businesses who are less qualified than me so there’s no reason I can’t be just as successful if not more so.’   Turn it into a ‘well why the hell NOT me?!’ Find facts that support your new story and debunk your old one!   Be Kind Be kind to yourself in this exercise and through this process. These stories and beliefs won’t shift overnight. You’ve been ‘knowing’ them to be true your whole life! BUT shifting them WILL change your life so stick with it and be patient and then watch every area of your life grow exponentially. When you do this work you will see change so quickly. You’ll see new opportunities, have new ideas, feel SO much less limited so it’s worth a little effort and discomfort right? Fx

034 - What Stories Are You Telling Yourself?

We all have those moments when you just feel a bit rubbish, a bit ‘meh’. Sometimes it feels like we just can’t ‘snap out of it’ and the day ends up being a write off, if you’re anything like me you’ll end up going home and comfort eating, cause, well, you deserve it right? Today has been TOUGH! Here are some of the best ways you can flip around your mindset, raise your ‘vibrations’ and change your state and get your day back on track! Life’s too short for ‘Meh’! 1) HAPPY SONGS I have a playlist on my phone called ‘Happy songs’ and it’s full of guilty pleasures that make me smile, I mean who doesn’t love a bit of Hanson right? 2) HAPPY FEET DANCE, find a class…or somewhere private…and bust out all your best moves, even the ones not suitable for the dance floor, let’s raise your vibration and give you a boost of energy…trust me, you feel ridiculous but it WORKS! 3) DO SOMETHING JUST FOR FUN Whatever that means for you, go on a bike ride, walk, read a book, watch an episode of your favourite Netflix show guilt-free, get a massage or take a class and get your creative juices flowing! Use social media for good and follow inspirational accounts to lift you up Social media is guilty of a lot of things….including inducing serious bouts of FOMO…BUT it can be used as a force for good! There are LOTS of accounts on Facebook and Instagram that dish out daily doses of inspiration and funnies that can help turn your day around just at the right moment! 4) SURROUND YOURSELF WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE This is such a biggie because if you’re in a funk there are certain people who can make it worse and drag you further in. Identify those people and STEER CLEAR! BUT there are also just certain people that pull you straight back out again. Who are they? Message them, call them, go see them. You can even join some of the amazing communities on Facebook that are in line with your interests and get some love in there! I’ve just started my own facebook group for exactly that reason, for those moments when you need a little pick me up or some inspiration. Feel free to come join (link at the bottom) and I’ll get you out of your funk myself!! 🙂 5) MOVE – GET SOME ENDORPHINS AND HAPPY CHEMICALS FLOWING! Go to the gym, do a class, just physically move. If you can’t go anywhere look at your posture, can you change it? Energised movement changes your state of mind according to Tony Robbins, so just MOVE! 6) MEDITATE I know I know, you’re still convinced meditation is ‘woo-woo-mumbo-jumbo’ but I promise you, every single high performer meditates…but more on that another time. 😉 For now download a simple app like ‘Calm’ which has lots of free meditations and find a quiet spot for a few minutes, give it a go and see how you feel! 7) FIND A DOG Go find yourself a woofy four-legged friend and give it a stroke, it’s proven to reduce stress and increase happiness. 8) PRACTICE GRATITUDE Gratitude is honestly a goldmine of improving your mood and helping you feel happier. What are 3 things you’re grateful for? 9) MINDFULNESS Again, a lot of people think of Mindfulness as a bit ‘woo woo’ but it’s proven to get you ‘out of your head’ and back in the moment and help stop pesky worries in their tracks. It’s got numerous health benefits, proven to reduce stress, increase focus and a greater appreciation for the little things! 10) DO SOMETHING NICE FOR SOMEONE ELSE Can you remember the last time you did something nice for someone? Felt good right? Go do something now! Awareness is the key, the minute you feel like you’re in a funk give any of the above a go and get yourself out of it and feeling a bit more you again!! Here’s to going from ‘Meh’ to ‘Whoohoo’ asap! To find out more about getting yourself out of a bad mood fast click  here.

We all have those moments when you just feel a bit rubbish, a bit ‘meh’. Sometimes it feels like we just can’t ‘snap out of it’ and the day ends up being a write off, if you’re anything like me you’ll end up going home and comfort eating, cause, well, you deserve it right? Today has been TOUGH! Here are some of the best ways you can flip around your mindset, raise your ‘vibrations’ and change your state and get your day back on track! Life’s too short for ‘Meh’! 1) HAPPY SONGS I have a playlist on my phone called ‘Happy songs’ and it’s full of guilty pleasures that make me smile, I mean who doesn’t love a bit of Hanson right? 2) HAPPY FEET DANCE, find a class…or somewhere private…and bust out all your best moves, even the ones not suitable for the dance floor, let’s raise your vibration and give you a boost of energy…trust me, you feel ridiculous but it WORKS! 3) DO SOMETHING JUST FOR FUN Whatever that means for you, go on a bike ride, walk, read a book, watch an episode of your favourite Netflix show guilt-free, get a massage or take a class and get your creative juices flowing! Use social media for good and follow inspirational accounts to lift you up Social media is guilty of a lot of things….including inducing serious bouts of FOMO…BUT it can be used as a force for good! There are LOTS of accounts on Facebook and Instagram that dish out daily doses of inspiration and funnies that can help turn your day around just at the right moment! 4) SURROUND YOURSELF WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE This is such a biggie because if you’re in a funk there are certain people who can make it worse and drag you further in. Identify those people and STEER CLEAR! BUT there are also just certain people that pull you straight back out again. Who are they? Message them, call them, go see them. You can even join some of the amazing communities on Facebook that are in line with your interests and get some love in there! I’ve just started my own facebook group for exactly that reason, for those moments when you need a little pick me up or some inspiration. Feel free to come join (link at the bottom) and I’ll get you out of your funk myself!! 🙂 5) MOVE – GET SOME ENDORPHINS AND HAPPY CHEMICALS FLOWING! Go to the gym, do a class, just physically move. If you can’t go anywhere look at your posture, can you change it? Energised movement changes your state of mind according to Tony Robbins, so just MOVE! 6) MEDITATE I know I know, you’re still convinced meditation is ‘woo-woo-mumbo-jumbo’ but I promise you, every single high performer meditates…but more on that another time. 😉 For now download a simple app like ‘Calm’ which has lots of free meditations and find a quiet spot for a few minutes, give it a go and see how you feel! 7) FIND A DOG Go find yourself a woofy four-legged friend and give it a stroke, it’s proven to reduce stress and increase happiness. 8) PRACTICE GRATITUDE Gratitude is honestly a goldmine of improving your mood and helping you feel happier. What are 3 things you’re grateful for? 9) MINDFULNESS Again, a lot of people think of Mindfulness as a bit ‘woo woo’ but it’s proven to get you ‘out of your head’ and back in the moment and help stop pesky worries in their tracks. It’s got numerous health benefits, proven to reduce stress, increase focus and a greater appreciation for the little things! 10) DO SOMETHING NICE FOR SOMEONE ELSE Can you remember the last time you did something nice for someone? Felt good right? Go do something now! Awareness is the key, the minute you feel like you’re in a funk give any of the above a go and get yourself out of it and feeling a bit more you again!! Here’s to going from ‘Meh’ to ‘Whoohoo’ asap! To find out more about getting yourself out of a bad mood fast click <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/10-ways-change-mindset-youre-feeling-meh/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> here</a>.

006 - How to Get Out of a Bad Mood Fast

 Make sure you’re following me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/ and tag me into your key takeaways!   Email me at fran@franexcell.com with any questions or take aways!   For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/   For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants   Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you:   https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min   Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/    Access SubliminialPower HERE (Affiliate link because it’s awesome!) Today i'm bringing you back to an oldie but a goodie and something that right now, in the midst of a global pandemic, is more important than ever. I'm seeing SO much overthinking going on and it's completely understandable but it's causing so much more anxiety, stress and fear than is necessary.    You have so much more control over your own situation than you give yourself credit for and getting yourself into a loop of overthinking is not going to help.  We need to try and shift it from overthinking into simplified critical thinking, going outside of the box.     If you're in one of these loops right now, I 100% feel you.  This used to rule my life.  When we lost everything 6 years ago I remember it very vividly.  It almost makes you feel like you're being productive in some way to overthink.  You think you're protecting yourself and trying to prepare for every potential outcome.  But the reality is, a little bit of surrender is needed.   We all want to know what's coming round the corner but we can't right now.  No one has the answer except you.   You can only do what you can do, it's time we drop the rest. and shift how we're thinking.  Shift the focus to the areas that are going to be so much more helpful for you in the longrun!   So I hope this helps. How To Stop Overthinkings: https://www.franexcell.com/stop_over_thinking/

<ul> <li>Make sure you’re following me on Instagram <a href="https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/imfranexcell/</a> and tag me into your key takeaways!</li> </ul> <ul> <li>Email me at <a href="mailto:fran@franexcell.com">fran@franexcell.com</a> with any questions or take aways!</li> </ul> <ul> <li>For more, head over to: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.franexcell.com/</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you:</li> </ul> <ul> <li><a href="https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: <a href="https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/</a></li> </ul> Access SubliminialPower <a href="http://tracking.kaleidoscopeglobal.com/SH6L" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a> (Affiliate link because it’s awesome!) Today i'm bringing you back to an oldie but a goodie and something that right now, in the midst of a global pandemic, is more important than ever. I'm seeing SO much overthinking going on and it's completely understandable but it's causing so much more anxiety, stress and fear than is necessary.  You have so much more control over your own situation than you give yourself credit for and getting yourself into a loop of overthinking is not going to help.  We need to try and shift it from overthinking into simplified critical thinking, going outside of the box.   If you're in one of these loops right now, I 100% feel you.  This used to rule my life.  When we lost everything 6 years ago I remember it very vividly.  It almost makes you feel like you're being productive in some way to overthink.  You think you're protecting yourself and trying to prepare for every potential outcome.  But the reality is, a little bit of surrender is needed. We all want to know what's coming round the corner but we can't right now.  No one has the answer except you.   You can only do what you can do, it's time we drop the rest. and shift how we're thinking.  Shift the focus to the areas that are going to be so much more helpful for you in the longrun! So I hope this helps. How To Stop Overthinkings: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/stop_over_thinking/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.franexcell.com/stop_over_thinking/</a>

Replay Series: How To Stop Overthinking During A Global Crisis

Are you using the resources you already have? Show note links:    For more, head over to: www.franexcell.com/   For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants   Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you:   https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min   To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/   Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/     Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways!  Are you using the resources that you currently already have, to get to where you want to be?   Or are you stuck in a loop of reading all the books, taking all the courses, going to all the events, taking all the advice and yet nothing is really changing?   Most of us have been there at some point.    So what’s going on here?!     If you’ve been following me for a while you’ll know I love a weight loss analogy because I’ve struggled BIG time in that area AND it’s something EVERYONE seems to be able to relate to.   So, you want to lose weight, you’re buying all the shakes, the programmes, the apps, reading the books, looking for the next big thing, researching the latest fad diet saying THIS is going to be the one that works for me, yet…things stay exactly the same.     Or, you do it for a few days here and there and then when you don’t see results straight away you go searching for another answer because that one didn’t ‘work’ for you.   You’re looking for that one thing that’s going to FINALLY work for you.   Newsflash...You’re looking for answers that you already have!   And you know it!   What’s the answer in this weight loss analogy?     Eat less, move more.  Simple. Timeless. Fact.   Make it into a lifestyle change not a short term thing.     We ALL know this, yet...the majority of us aren’t doing it and continue to struggle!   Why?   That’s a good question.   Firstly, can you be 100% honest with yourself and say that you’re actually using the resources you already have?     By resources I mean information, people, experts, courses, books etc.  Means to solve the problem that you have that are currently in your possession in some way.   So often I see people asking for MORE answers to questions they already have the answer to.   Someone will ask me a question and i’ll ask if they did the thing we spoke about before to solve it...the answer is usually no!   So what’s going on?!   There’s a couple of things to think about here.  Also, worth noting, it doesn't mean there is anything ‘wrong’ with you at all if you do this, it’s not about beating yourself up for it, it’s about working out WHY so you can actually move forward!  We’ve all done it at some point, no one is immune to it...yes, including me!   So, are you actually being a bit lazy or impatient?  Perhaps it’s just not a priority for you, you say you want it but in reality, you don’t really, or you don’t want it ENOUGH!     You’re not really invested in making it happen.  Or you subconsciously want where you’re at now MORE than you actually want what’s on the other side of taking action.   I see this VERY often.  Usually people who have been building a business because it’s something they knew they technically COULD do, but it wasn’t necessarily a passion for them or what they WANTED to do.  Not something they have a bigger reason for doing that will motivate them to move in the right direction.   Or...is there actually something even bigger at play that’s stopping you taking action?   Is there a mindset gremlin keeping you in the ‘learning zone’ and not letting you get into the ‘action zone’ because there’s an underlying fear of something?  Failure? Success? Not being good enough? Judgement? That fear that if this actually works you;ll have to follow through?!   It’s likely you’re in one camp or the other!     You can have all the strategy you like. You can know exactly what to do, then those mindset gremlins start to creep in, but they can be quiet and bloomin subtle at times so they can be difficult to spot keeping you in the time sucking ‘loop of inaction’...but you THINK you’re taking action because you’re looking for answers and you’re ‘busy’.     You’re spending time researching, consuming content, making a plan.     Looks like you’re taking action right?  Are you actually following through and implementing though?     That’s what you’ve got to look out for.   So let’s try and work out a little of what’s going on here.    When you think about taking the action and then don’t, or go searching for another answer, what thoughts come up?   What is the ‘thing’ that actually stops you?   Are you telling yourself you don’t know enough?     That you aren’t GOOD enough?    That you just need to learn this one more thing and THEN you’ll take action...when in fact the answer to getting what you want has been staring you in the face all along!   I want you to really have a think about what resources you already have at your disposal and write them down and give yourself a score out of 10 for how much you;re actually using them.   An online course that teaches exactly the thing you’re specifically struggling with, but you haven’t prioritised the time to go through it.  So you’re telling yourself it hasn’t worked, then you spend time looking for other answers elsewhere…oh the irony!   Is it a coach or mentor that you have that you’re not actually being 100% honest with and making excuses about a lack of time or money or whatever else you’re saying you NEED before you take action.    Is it a paid membership or group programme but you’ve never actually logged into the platform...all the information you’re looking for is right there for you!   Is it a friend you’ve been complaining to who’s giving you the answer to solve your problem but you’re just not listening?   Really think about these questions because they’re important to help you identify those pesky thoughts and beliefs that are blocking you taking action right now.   When your unconscious mind is running the show self awareness is one of the MOST important tools in your toolkit.     If you don’t know what’s going on in there then it’s SO easy to get stuck, go into the spiral of ‘what’s wrong with me’ and then plummet into the deep dark pit of self loathing.   We’ve all been there, I  was the WORST for it...for most of my life, trust me...I feel your pain!   I’m also helping to give you the solution, it’s your choice if you take it or not.   Self awareness and self responsibility are a magic combination when it comes to your success and getting what you want from life.  They can be hard to look at sure, but isn’t it worth the pay off?     So what resources do you currently have that you’re just not using that could drive you forwards.  Look at it in the cold light of day and start to challenge yourself over why you’re not using it.     What could happen for you if you did?   What will happen if you don’t!   Catch yourself in those moments where you’re searching for an answer you know deep down you already have and get curious.   Write out those resources and put in a goal to spend some time actually going through it and really using it...what’s the worst that can happen?     If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!    Fx

Are you using the resources you already have? Show note links: <ul> <li>For more, head over to: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.franexcell.com/</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you:</li> </ul> <ul> <li><a href="https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: <a href="https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach and tag me into your key takeaways!</li> </ul> Are you using the resources that you currently already have, to get to where you want to be? Or are you stuck in a loop of reading all the books, taking all the courses, going to all the events, taking all the advice and yet nothing is really changing? Most of us have been there at some point.  So what’s going on here?!   If you’ve been following me for a while you’ll know I love a weight loss analogy because I’ve struggled BIG time in that area AND it’s something EVERYONE seems to be able to relate to. So, you want to lose weight, you’re buying all the shakes, the programmes, the apps, reading the books, looking for the next big thing, researching the latest fad diet saying THIS is going to be the one that works for me, yet…things stay exactly the same.   Or, you do it for a few days here and there and then when you don’t see results straight away you go searching for another answer because that one didn’t ‘work’ for you. You’re looking for that one thing that’s going to FINALLY work for you. Newsflash...You’re looking for answers that you already have! And you know it! What’s the answer in this weight loss analogy?   Eat less, move more.  Simple. Timeless. Fact. Make it into a lifestyle change not a short term thing.   We ALL know this, yet...the majority of us aren’t doing it and continue to struggle! Why? That’s a good question. Firstly, can you be 100% honest with yourself and say that you’re actually using the resources you already have?   By resources I mean information, people, experts, courses, books etc.  Means to solve the problem that you have that are currently in your possession in some way. So often I see people asking for MORE answers to questions they already have the answer to. Someone will ask me a question and i’ll ask if they did the thing we spoke about before to solve it...the answer is usually no! So what’s going on?! There’s a couple of things to think about here.  Also, worth noting, it doesn't mean there is anything ‘wrong’ with you at all if you do this, it’s not about beating yourself up for it, it’s about working out WHY so you can actually move forward!  We’ve all done it at some point, no one is immune to it...yes, including me! So, are you actually being a bit lazy or impatient?  Perhaps it’s just not a priority for you, you say you want it but in reality, you don’t really, or you don’t want it ENOUGH!   You’re not really invested in making it happen.  Or you subconsciously want where you’re at now MORE than you actually want what’s on the other side of taking action. I see this VERY often.  Usually people who have been building a business because it’s something they knew they technically COULD do, but it wasn’t necessarily a passion for them or what they WANTED to do.  Not something they have a bigger reason for doing that will motivate them to move in the right direction. Or...is there actually something even bigger at play that’s stopping you taking action? Is there a mindset gremlin keeping you in the ‘learning zone’ and not letting you get into the ‘action zone’ because there’s an underlying fear of something?  Failure? Success? Not being good enough? Judgement? That fear that if this actually works you;ll have to follow through?! It’s likely you’re in one camp or the other!   You can have all the strategy you like. You can know exactly what to do, then those mindset gremlins start to creep in, but they can be quiet and bloomin subtle at times so they can be difficult to spot keeping you in the time sucking ‘loop of inaction’...but you THINK you’re taking action because you’re looking for answers and you’re ‘busy’.   You’re spending time researching, consuming content, making a plan.   Looks like you’re taking action right?  Are you actually following through and implementing though?   That’s what you’ve got to look out for. So let’s try and work out a little of what’s going on here.  When you think about taking the action and then don’t, or go searching for another answer, what thoughts come up? What is the ‘thing’ that actually stops you? Are you telling yourself you don’t know enough?   That you aren’t GOOD enough?  That you just need to learn this one more thing and THEN you’ll take action...when in fact the answer to getting what you want has been staring you in the face all along! I want you to really have a think about what resources you already have at your disposal and write them down and give yourself a score out of 10 for how much you;re actually using them. An online course that teaches exactly the thing you’re specifically struggling with, but you haven’t prioritised the time to go through it.  So you’re telling yourself it hasn’t worked, then you spend time looking for other answers elsewhere…oh the irony! Is it a coach or mentor that you have that you’re not actually being 100% honest with and making excuses about a lack of time or money or whatever else you’re saying you NEED before you take action.  Is it a paid membership or group programme but you’ve never actually logged into the platform...all the information you’re looking for is right there for you! Is it a friend you’ve been complaining to who’s giving you the answer to solve your problem but you’re just not listening? Really think about these questions because they’re important to help you identify those pesky thoughts and beliefs that are blocking you taking action right now. When your unconscious mind is running the show self awareness is one of the MOST important tools in your toolkit.   If you don’t know what’s going on in there then it’s SO easy to get stuck, go into the spiral of ‘what’s wrong with me’ and then plummet into the deep dark pit of self loathing. We’ve all been there, I  was the WORST for it...for most of my life, trust me...I feel your pain! I’m also helping to give you the solution, it’s your choice if you take it or not. Self awareness and self responsibility are a magic combination when it comes to your success and getting what you want from life.  They can be hard to look at sure, but isn’t it worth the pay off?   So what resources do you currently have that you’re just not using that could drive you forwards.  Look at it in the cold light of day and start to challenge yourself over why you’re not using it.   What could happen for you if you did? What will happen if you don’t! Catch yourself in those moments where you’re searching for an answer you know deep down you already have and get curious. Write out those resources and put in a goal to spend some time actually going through it and really using it...what’s the worst that can happen?   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a <a href="https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">free discovery call</a> so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!  Fx

084 - Are You Using The Resources You Already Have?

Stop Listening To Everyone   Show note links:    For more on this head to: https://www.franexcell.com/stop-listening-to-everyone   For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants   Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you:   https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min   To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/   Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/     Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach    Stop Listening To Everyone   Stop listening to everyone, because you’re hearing no one.   The online business space is LOUD and the noise can be deafening at times, especially if you’re listening to multiple people, multiple voices and multiple, often conflicting advice and points of view.   Listening to and following everyone causes you to have too many things and too many voices swimming about in your noggin which leads to all the gremlins rearing their ugly heads.     Cue overwhelm, self doubt, procrastination and all their friends.     Which is not the best mindset to be when you’re running a business and trying to get stuff done.   Everywhere you look there will be someone telling you that their specialism, platform or strategy is THE one thing you need to get you where you want to be, that without it you ‘don't have a business.’   It’s exhausting.   I remember when I first started my business I was absorbing all the things.  I was trying to be on all the platforms, listen to all the free advice, investing in all the programmes and...doing not a whole lot of anything to be honest.   I was confused and felt pulled in all directions with no one clear focus.     Thankfully I recognised it fairly quickly.     I recognised that to get to where I wanted to go I needed to cut out the noise and find ‘my’ people.     There are a lot of ‘guru’s’ in this industry who don’t always have the best of intentions and will use all those sleazy tactics that you’re avoiding doing because it gives you the ick.     It’s time for an audit!     I regularly check in with who is taking up space in my feed, groups, my inbox and serving me ads to make sure the noise levels are right for me, and it’s from the right people.   It’s not going to happen overnight but when you really start to analyse if who you’re following are a good, positive influence on you and your mindset...or a negative one then things will become much clearer, more focussed and more strategic, and you’re more likely to actually take action with a few less gremlins in the way.   Pick your own platforms.   Where are YOUR ideal clients?     I know everyone and his wife are saying Linkedin is the new buzz platform for 2019 for example...but if that’s not where YOUR ideal client is and you’re not looking for corporate gigs, then is it the right platform for you?  Probably not!   So there’s some noise you can cut out.     It doesn’t mean you’re saying you’re NEVER going to use it, it’s just not right for you right now.     Also where do YOU like being?     What is YOUR favourite platform to be on?  If you like using it guess what? You’re more likely to use it!     If you’re trying to do things and be in places because other people say you ‘should’ but really you don’t want to...guess what’s going to happen?   Pushing water uphill time and your friend procrastination is going to get in your way big time!     Choose people based on your values.     What do you value in a person or in a business?     For me it’s honesty, authenticity and integrity, what you see is what you get, which for me creates trust.     That’s not going to be the same for everyone, but that’s what I look for in a person to follow.     The second I get a feeling in my gut that someone doesn’t fit that bracket they’re on my unfollow list.   I was at a big business seminar for 2 days last week and it was honestly, so refreshing.     The majority of speakers sold high ticket items from the stage but they were so HONEST about it!   They didn’t try to dupe, guilt or bully anyone into buying, they didn’t try to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes, they made fun of a lot of the sleazy tactics and they didn't give you the ‘what but not the how’ and just said ‘hey, if you’ve got this problem I can solve it, here’s how, up to you, come have a chat if you’ve got any questions’.     But there was a friend I bumped into there who really didn’t like how ‘salesy’ it was, which is exactly what I mean by going for what you value, for me their honesty made it feel a lot less salesy.   I was just grateful for the honesty.     I took value from every single person speaking whether I bought from them or not.   My favourite part of it was that every speaker interacted with all the delegates, genuinely!  Not because they HAD to (which personally I always think is fairly obvious)   They wanted to meet and speak to people and acted ‘on a level’ with everyone.   What and who you saw on stage was what and who you got in person, reminding us that our heroes are human too, right!     They’re not magical unicorns, if it’s achievable for them it’s achievable for you too!   They have gone through what we’ve gone through at one point and they empathise with and respect the journey.   I was sold to, for two whole days and left feeling great about it! I’ve been to MANY events where that hasn’t been the case.   So, look through your fb groups, your insta feed, your fb friends, your inbox and get unfollowing until you have a space that’s filled with people who inspire and motivate you and makes you feel GOOD, not overwhelmed!   Next Up...Friends and family   Then there is the noise of friends and family members.   Some mean well, some not so much but really they’re usually just projecting their own fears and beliefs onto you.   Or it could be that they’re actually jealous or you could be highlighting a trait in yourself that they wish they had.     A lot of people would love to be able to back themselves to start their own business but they just don’t.   This is something I see come up time and time again from clients and friends running their businesses and it’s even something that made me quit on my first business when a comment of, ‘Fran, you really should just get a proper job’ was uttered...and I listened!   Often their comments are unhelpful.  (Here’s a few ways to handle it!)   Negative self chatter   Then there’s your own negative self talk.     This is often the loudest of all.     BUT, this is something you have control over, even if it doesn’t feel that way most of the time but you can absolutely change the way you talk to yourself.     You can increase your emotional intelligence and understand where certain thoughts may be coming from, you can create new neural pathways and literally change the way you think.     I give you a TONNE of ways you can start doing that today in previous posts  The first key to changing it is awareness.  It’s not a conversation you’re having with yourself, it’s a habit you’ve created and habits can be changed.     But when you’re running a business you don’t have time for negative self talk and it WILL make you sabotage your own success so it’s important you get it in check.   Time to choose who you’re listening to...because when you’re listening to everyone, you really are hearing no one!   If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!   Fx

Stop Listening To Everyone Show note links: <ul> <li>For more on this head to: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/stop-listening-to-everyone" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.franexcell.com/stop-listening-to-everyone</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>Book in a discovery call to see how I can help you:</li> </ul> <ul> <li><a href="https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: <a href="https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>Make sure you’re following me on Instagram @franexcellcoach</li> </ul> Stop Listening To Everyone Stop listening to everyone, because you’re hearing no one. The online business space is LOUD and the noise can be deafening at times, especially if you’re listening to multiple people, multiple voices and multiple, often conflicting advice and points of view. Listening to and following everyone causes you to have too many things and too many voices swimming about in your noggin which leads to all the gremlins rearing their ugly heads.   Cue <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/overwhelmtoaction/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">overwhelm</a>, self doubt, <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/stopprocrastinating/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">procrastination</a> and all their friends.   Which is not the best mindset to be when you’re running a business and trying to get stuff done. Everywhere you look there will be someone telling you that their specialism, platform or strategy is THE one thing you need to get you where you want to be, that without it you ‘don't have a business.’ It’s exhausting. I remember when I first started my business I was absorbing all the things.  I was trying to be on all the platforms, listen to all the free advice, investing in all the programmes and...doing not a whole lot of anything to be honest. I was confused and felt pulled in all directions with no one clear <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/how-to-focus/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">focus</a>.   Thankfully I recognised it fairly quickly.   I recognised that to get to where I wanted to go I needed to cut out the noise and find ‘my’ people.   There are a lot of ‘guru’s’ in this industry who don’t always have the best of intentions and will use all those sleazy tactics that you’re avoiding doing because it gives you the ick.   It’s time for an audit!   I regularly check in with who is taking up space in my feed, groups, my inbox and serving me ads to make sure the noise levels are right for me, and it’s from the right people. It’s not going to happen overnight but when you really start to analyse if who you’re following are a good, positive influence on you and your mindset...or a negative one then things will become much clearer, more focussed and more strategic, and you’re more likely to actually take action with a few less gremlins in the way. Pick your own platforms. Where are YOUR ideal clients?   I know everyone and his wife are saying Linkedin is the new buzz platform for 2019 for example...but if that’s not where YOUR ideal client is and you’re not looking for corporate gigs, then is it the right platform for you?  Probably not! So there’s some noise you can cut out.   It doesn’t mean you’re saying you’re NEVER going to use it, it’s just not right for you right now.   Also where do YOU like being?   What is YOUR favourite platform to be on?  If you like using it guess what? You’re more likely to use it!   If you’re trying to do things and be in places because other people say you ‘should’ but really you don’t want to...guess what’s going to happen? Pushing water uphill time and your friend procrastination is going to get in your way big time!   Choose people based on your values.   What do you value in a person or in a business?   For me it’s honesty, authenticity and integrity, what you see is what you get, which for me creates trust.   That’s not going to be the same for everyone, but that’s what I look for in a person to follow.   The second I get a feeling in my gut that someone doesn’t fit that bracket they’re on my unfollow list. I was at a big business seminar for 2 days last week and it was honestly, so refreshing.   The majority of speakers sold high ticket items from the stage but they were so HONEST about it! They didn’t try to dupe, guilt or bully anyone into buying, they didn’t try to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes, they made fun of a lot of the sleazy tactics and they didn't give you the ‘what but not the how’ and just said ‘hey, if you’ve got this problem I can solve it, here’s how, up to you, come have a chat if you’ve got any questions’.   But there was a friend I bumped into there who really didn’t like how ‘salesy’ it was, which is exactly what I mean by going for what you value, for me their honesty made it feel a lot less salesy. I was just grateful for the honesty.   I took value from every single person speaking whether I bought from them or not. My favourite part of it was that every speaker interacted with all the delegates, genuinely!  Not because they HAD to (which personally I always think is fairly obvious) They wanted to meet and speak to people and acted ‘on a level’ with everyone. What and who you saw on stage was what and who you got in person, reminding us that our heroes are human too, right!   They’re not magical unicorns, if it’s achievable for them it’s achievable for you too! They have gone through what we’ve gone through at one point and they empathise with and respect the journey. I was sold to, for two whole days and left feeling great about it! I’ve been to MANY events where that hasn’t been the case. So, look through your fb groups, your insta feed, your fb friends, your inbox and get unfollowing until you have a space that’s filled with people who inspire and motivate you and makes you feel GOOD, not <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/recogniseoverwhelm/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">overwhelmed</a>! Next Up...Friends and family Then there is the noise of friends and family members. Some mean well, some not so much but really they’re usually just projecting their own fears and beliefs onto you. Or it could be that they’re actually jealous or you could be highlighting a trait in yourself that they wish they had.   A lot of people would love to be able to back themselves to start their own business but they just don’t. This is something I see come up time and time again from clients and friends running their businesses and it’s even something that made me quit on my first business when a comment of, ‘Fran, you really should just get a proper job’ was uttered...and I listened! Often their comments are unhelpful.  (<a href="https://www.franexcell.com/unsupportivefriends/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here’s</a> a few ways to handle it!) Negative self chatter Then there’s your own negative self talk.   This is often the loudest of all.   BUT, this is something you have control over, even if it doesn’t feel that way most of the time but you can absolutely change the way you talk to yourself.   You can increase your emotional intelligence and understand where certain thoughts may be coming from, you can create new neural pathways and literally change the way you think.   I give you a TONNE of ways you can start doing that today in previous <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/blog" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">posts</a>  The first key to changing it is awareness.  It’s not a conversation you’re having with yourself, it’s a habit you’ve created and habits can be changed.   But when you’re running a business you don’t have time for negative self talk and it WILL make you sabotage your own success so it’s important you get it in check. Time to choose who you’re listening to...because when you’re listening to everyone, you really are hearing no one! If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a <a href="https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">free discovery call</a> so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!! Fx

064 - Stop Listening To Everyone!

Where are you not taking action? Show note links: For more on this head to: https://www.franexcell.com/action/ For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind:  https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants/ Book in a discovery call: https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/ Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/ Check out my printable journal store here: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables Where are you not taking action? Are you taking action towards the things you want?   So often I see people up to the eyeballs in strategy, but not doing anything with it.   You know what to do….you’re just not doing it!   You can tie yourself up in knots trying to be in all the places or doing all the busy tasks that make you THINK you’re taking action but there’s usually a pesky little gremlin or two hiding behind the reason you’re not actually taking action on those things that you know would make a difference to where you are right now.   You need to work out what those gremlins are or you’re going to continue to stay stuck and not moving forward.   So where in your business (or your life!) are you not taking the action you know you want and/or need to right now?   What are you holding yourself back from?   Do you spend more time thinking about, talking about and planning something rather than actually doing the thing?   When we do this (and we’ve all done it at some point i’m sure!) we have a tendency to hide behind all these ‘practical’ reasons that we can’t do something that do a very good job at making it believable to us that it’s true, that we really can’t do it.   But they really aren’t legitimate reasons the majority of the time.  They’re just your own excuses.   So what is your main excuse?  Is it time? Money? Not feeling ready? Too busy?  Family? Waiting ‘until’?   We ALL do this at some point, it’s SO easy to get caught up in it and I have to call myself out on my own excuses ALL the time.     Recently I was telling myself I couldn’t run a live event because of time, having connections at the right venues to get a good deal (venues in London are PRICEY!), having the time to negotiate a good deal….ALL sorts of excuses!!     It could have kept me stuck but I know myself well enough to call myself out on my own BS and know that it’s just one of those pesky inevitable mindset gremlins because it’s new, outside my comfort zone and I was feeling overwhelmed looking at the big picture.     Yep I do it too!  But not for long. I asked myself, what are my resources and is any of this stuff I’m telling myself REALLY true?   Guess what the answer was….a big fat no and reminded myself that one of my favourite people in the world owns her own events company in London ha!   Now my first event, which has been a dream of mine for a long time, is in the process of getting sorted right now (Positive Pants Planning Live in London on the 5th January in case you’re wondering!)   But the difference here is I called and continue to call myself out on my own rubbish AND I pulled on my resources and asked for help.   You get to choose for it to be easier, or harder.   I choose easier...sometimes it takes me a moment but I get there in the end.     We all too often get caught up in the excuses or not wanting to bother people and ALL THE THOUGHTS and all the ‘what ifs’ that we end up just doing nothing and staying where we’re at.   Remember you really don’t have to do everything on your own.  There are SO many things that can stop us from taking action and we get to make that choice.   Underneath it all, fear is the main thing I see getting in people’s way, really at the crux of everything we’re afraid of something.   Whether that’s success, failure, judgement, what having it brings into or takes out of our lives.  SO many things.   And the good news...this is VERY sortable.   The irony is the best way to get over your fear, is to do the thing you’re fearing!   If you can identify what the fear actually is behind it and what assumptions you’re making about what will happen when you do it you can start to challenge it.  Which is THE most powerful thing you can do.   So what is it stopping you right now?  What negative thing do you think doing the thing you’re putting off could bring into your life?   The bigger question is, do you even REALLY want it?  Are you building something someone told you you ‘should’ want or do you feel like you ‘should’ want it but deep down you really don’t?   All really key questions to ask yourself.   Identify WHERE in your business you’re not taking the action and take it from there.     The tasks that fill you with dread, or the task that always seem to end up at the bottom of the to do list even though you KNOW they would make a difference to your business.  The tasks you’re making excuses for not doing but continue to niggle at the back of your brain. What are they?   What small thing could you do on these tasks today, right now, that would push you closer to your goal?   Every one of these put together will help you grow in confidence, calm down the fear centre of your brain and allow you to take more and more action and finally hit your goal!   When you picture your ideal business a year, or 5 years from now, what ‘thing’ is already done?  Is it a book you want to write? Your own podcast? Being featured in national press? Speaking gigs?   I want you to really have a think about where you’re making excuses to not do things and challenge yourself on if they’re really true.   The fear and frustration with yourself for not taking action won’t go away until...guess what...you take action.   Think about the end game.     What’s the best and worst that can happen if you do it, what’s the best and worst that will happen if you don’t do it?!  Two of my favourite questions to get me into action, I hope you use them.   Connect to that vision of yourself in the future when it’s done, how do you feel?  How much more head space do you have? What are you doing? Are you happier there?   If you are then let’s get going and do the thing! Deep breath and GO!   I’m always here to help.  If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!! All the details are in the link below and I hope to see you on the inside.   Fx

Where are you not taking action? Show note links: For more on this head to: <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/6figures/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.franexcell.com/action/</a> For more information or to apply for The Proactive Pants Mastermind:  <a href="https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.franexcell.com/proactivepants/</a> Book in a discovery call: <a href="https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://calendly.com/franexcell/30min</a> To join my Free Facebook Community for daily mindset tips and tricks: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/groups/franexcellcommunity/</a> Download your Free Procrastination Buster here: <a href="https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://franexcell.lpages.co/procrastinationbuster/</a> Check out my printable journal store here: <a href="https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/franexcellprintables</a> Where are you not taking action? Are you taking action towards the things you want? So often I see people up to the eyeballs in strategy, but not doing anything with it. You know what to do….you’re just not doing it! You can tie yourself up in knots trying to be in all the places or doing all the busy tasks that make you THINK you’re taking action but there’s usually a pesky little gremlin or two hiding behind the reason you’re not actually taking action on those things that you know would make a difference to where you are right now. You need to work out what those gremlins are or you’re going to continue to stay stuck and not moving forward. So where in your business (or your life!) are you not taking the action you know you want and/or need to right now? What are you holding yourself back from? Do you spend more time thinking about, talking about and planning something rather than actually doing the thing? When we do this (and we’ve all done it at some point i’m sure!) we have a tendency to hide behind all these ‘practical’ reasons that we can’t do something that do a very good job at making it believable to us that it’s true, that we really can’t do it. But they really aren’t legitimate reasons the majority of the time.  They’re just your own excuses. So what is your main excuse?  Is it time? Money? Not feeling ready? Too busy?  Family? Waiting ‘until’? We ALL do this at some point, it’s SO easy to get caught up in it and I have to call myself out on my own excuses ALL the time.   Recently I was telling myself I couldn’t run a live event because of time, having connections at the right venues to get a good deal (venues in London are PRICEY!), having the time to negotiate a good deal….ALL sorts of excuses!!   It could have kept me stuck but I know myself well enough to call myself out on my own BS and know that it’s just one of those pesky inevitable mindset gremlins because it’s new, outside my comfort zone and I was feeling overwhelmed looking at the big picture.   Yep I do it too!  But not for long. I asked myself, what are my resources and is any of this stuff I’m telling myself REALLY true? Guess what the answer was….a big fat no and reminded myself that one of my favourite people in the world owns her own events company in London ha! Now my first event, which has been a dream of mine for a long time, is in the process of getting sorted right now (Positive Pants Planning Live in London on the 5th January in case you’re wondering!) But the difference here is I called and continue to call myself out on my own rubbish AND I pulled on my resources and asked for help. You get to choose for it to be easier, or harder. I choose easier...sometimes it takes me a moment but I get there in the end.   We all too often get caught up in the excuses or not wanting to bother people and ALL THE THOUGHTS and all the ‘what ifs’ that we end up just doing nothing and staying where we’re at. Remember you really don’t have to do everything on your own.  There are SO many things that can stop us from taking action and we get to make that choice. Underneath it all, fear is the main thing I see getting in people’s way, really at the crux of everything we’re afraid of something. Whether that’s success, failure, judgement, what having it brings into or takes out of our lives.  SO many things. And the good news...this is VERY sortable. The irony is the best way to get over your fear, is to do the thing you’re fearing! If you can identify what the fear actually is behind it and what assumptions you’re making about what will happen when you do it you can start to challenge it.  Which is THE most powerful thing you can do. So what is it stopping you right now?  What negative thing do you think doing the thing you’re putting off could bring into your life? The bigger question is, do you even REALLY want it?  Are you building something someone told you you ‘should’ want or do you feel like you ‘should’ want it but deep down you really don’t? All really key questions to ask yourself. Identify WHERE in your business you’re not taking the action and take it from there.   The tasks that fill you with dread, or the task that always seem to end up at the bottom of the to do list even though you KNOW they would make a difference to your business.  The tasks you’re making excuses for not doing but continue to niggle at the back of your brain. What are they? What small thing could you do on these tasks today, right now, that would push you closer to your goal? Every one of these put together will help you grow in confidence, calm down the fear centre of your brain and allow you to take more and more action and finally hit your goal! When you picture your ideal business a year, or 5 years from now, what ‘thing’ is already done?  Is it a book you want to write? Your own podcast? Being featured in national press? Speaking gigs? I want you to really have a think about where you’re making excuses to not do things and challenge yourself on if they’re really true. The fear and frustration with yourself for not taking action won’t go away until...guess what...you take action. Think about the end game.   What’s the best and worst that can happen if you do it, what’s the best and worst that will happen if you don’t do it?!  Two of my favourite questions to get me into action, I hope you use them. Connect to that vision of yourself in the future when it’s done, how do you feel?  How much more head space do you have? What are you doing? Are you happier there? If you are then let’s get going and do the thing! Deep breath and GO! I’m always here to help.  If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!! All the details are in the link below and I hope to see you on the inside. Fx

045 - Where Are You Not Taking Action?

The best podcast episodes about true crime. For any thrill seeking podcast listeners who just can't get enough of the captivating stories of murderers and criminals. This topic has all the best episodes from many different true crime podcasts.  Add episodes you're interested into your queue below!

Best True Crime Podcasts

The best podcast episodes of anyone with an interesting story. With famous guests like Obama, LeBron James, Drake, Oprah Winfrey, Richard Branson, Michelle Obama, Serena Williams, to anyone who has a unique and interesting story to tell. Add episodes you're interested into your queue below!