In this episode we dive into the habits of physical health that have been slowly but surely building in our lives over the past couple years. We share our journey about pain felt when one spouse is pursuing fitness and the other doesn't want to join. We also talk about ways to create life-long habits of health.Please rate, review &amp; share the podcast!For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.

In this episode we dive into the habits of physical health that have been slowly but surely building in our lives over the past couple years. We share our journey about pain felt when one spouse is pursuing fitness and the other doesn't want to join. We also talk about ways to create life-long habits of health. Please rate, review &amp; share the podcast! For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ZintSquad.com</a> where you can book <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/coaching" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">one-on-one or couples coachings</a> for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/basic-01" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Habit Mastery Course</a> and check out Aaron's new book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BKGM6BTK/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_1BM1GZBNNGXB8JXESNVM?linkCode=ml1&amp;tag=jennazint04-20" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn</a>. Aaron also run's <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/services-7" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">online small groups </a>for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.

Habits of Health: Fitness in Marriage

Jenna and I had a few therapy sessions which help shed some light on the triggers that came up in our last hard conversation. We begin to unpack those in this episode. It's not all resolved but we're still moving forward. Little bits of better over a long period of time. Please rate, review &amp; share the podcast!For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.

Jenna and I had a few therapy sessions which help shed some light on the triggers that came up in our last hard conversation. We begin to unpack those in this episode. It's not all resolved but we're still moving forward. Little bits of better over a long period of time. Please rate, review &amp; share the podcast! For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ZintSquad.com</a> where you can book <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/coaching" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">one-on-one or couples coachings</a> for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/basic-01" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Habit Mastery Course</a> and check out Aaron's new book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BKGM6BTK/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_1BM1GZBNNGXB8JXESNVM?linkCode=ml1&amp;tag=jennazint04-20" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn</a>. Aaron also run's <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/services-7" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">online small groups </a>for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.

Feeling Lonely in Household Chores Pt 2: Post Therapy Discoveries

In this episode Jenna and Aaron share their recent conflict that is still not fully resolved, though they are staying connected in the midst of it. This conflict has surfaced many times throughout their marriage: Jenna feels lonely with the household chores, as well as family responsibilities and family connection; Aaron feels sad and fearful that he will never be able to do enough to help Jenna feel different.This episode is a recap of how the recent series of conversations went. The connection was maintained throughout those conversations, even in the midst of the pain, because they chose to listen and not defend, pulling on their "They can be sad and it doesn't mean I'm bad," and "I can be sad and it doesn't mean they're bad," ideas. Please rate, review &amp; share the podcast!For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.

In this episode Jenna and Aaron share their recent conflict that is still not fully resolved, though they are staying connected in the midst of it. This conflict has surfaced many times throughout their marriage: Jenna feels lonely with the household chores, as well as family responsibilities and family connection; Aaron feels sad and fearful that he will never be able to do enough to help Jenna feel different. This episode is a recap of how the recent series of conversations went. The connection was maintained throughout those conversations, even in the midst of the pain, because they chose to listen and not defend, pulling on their "They can be sad and it doesn't mean I'm bad," and "I can be sad and it doesn't mean they're bad," ideas. Please rate, review &amp; share the podcast! For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ZintSquad.com</a> where you can book <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/coaching" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">one-on-one or couples coachings</a> for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/basic-01" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Habit Mastery Course</a> and check out Aaron's new book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BKGM6BTK/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_1BM1GZBNNGXB8JXESNVM?linkCode=ml1&amp;tag=jennazint04-20" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn</a>. Aaron also run's <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/services-7" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">online small groups </a>for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.

Feeling Lonely in Household Chores: Aaron & Jenna's Hard Conversation Pt 1

Have you ever felt like you've "failed" at vacationing? Like the very thing you've been looking forward to for so long winds up disappointing or becoming even more disconnecting than normal life? Jenna and I (Aaron), have been here countless times in our decade and a half of marriage and in this episode we talk about what we've learned over that time that has helped shape our vacations into times of rest, rejuvination and reconnection. Please rate, review &amp; share the podcast!For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.

Have you ever felt like you've "failed" at vacationing? Like the very thing you've been looking forward to for so long winds up disappointing or becoming even more disconnecting than normal life? Jenna and I (Aaron), have been here countless times in our decade and a half of marriage and in this episode we talk about what we've learned over that time that has helped shape our vacations into times of rest, rejuvination and reconnection. Please rate, review &amp; share the podcast! For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ZintSquad.com</a> where you can book <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/coaching" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">one-on-one or couples coachings</a> for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/basic-01" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Habit Mastery Course</a> and check out Aaron's new book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BKGM6BTK/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_1BM1GZBNNGXB8JXESNVM?linkCode=ml1&amp;tag=jennazint04-20" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn</a>. Aaron also run's <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/services-7" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">online small groups </a>for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.

How to Vacation Well in Marriage

In this episode, Jenna and I (Aaron) invited our besties Eli Leedy and Michelle Thompson. This is our first interview with a non-couple. Eli is single (as of the release date......ladies) and Michelle is married. We've got at least 10 years of history with each of them individually and we've each experienced our share of highs and lows. In this episode we answer these questions:What's a painful situation we've had to navigate?What is something we've had to grow in as friends?What role does this friendship play in your life? What needs does our friendship not fill for you?The wisdom and wit of these two is fantastic and we had so much fun in this conversation. Enjoy!Please rate, review &amp; share the podcast!For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.

In this episode, Jenna and I (Aaron) invited our besties Eli Leedy and Michelle Thompson. This is our first interview with a non-couple. Eli is single (as of the release date......ladies) and Michelle is married. We've got at least 10 years of history with each of them individually and we've each experienced our share of highs and lows.  In this episode we answer these questions:<ul><li>What's a painful situation we've had to navigate?</li><li>What is something we've had to grow in as friends?</li><li>What role does this friendship play in your life? What needs does our friendship not fill for you?</li></ul>The wisdom and wit of these two is fantastic and we had so much fun in this conversation. Enjoy! Please rate, review &amp; share the podcast! For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ZintSquad.com</a> where you can book <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/coaching" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">one-on-one or couples coachings</a> for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/basic-01" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Habit Mastery Course</a> and check out Aaron's new book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BKGM6BTK/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_1BM1GZBNNGXB8JXESNVM?linkCode=ml1&amp;tag=jennazint04-20" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn</a>. Aaron also run's <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/services-7" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">online small groups </a>for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.

Navigating Friendships in Adulthood Pt 2 w/ Eli & Michelle (our besties)

I don't believe we have any children listening to our podcast, so I think it's safe to say, you are an adult and you fall into one of these categories:You have great friends and would love to sustain themYou don't currently have many friends and want moreYou have friends but would love more depth/time/funIn this episode Jenna and I (Aaron) talk about our journey of navigating friendships in adulthood. This is a time in our lives when it requires a lot of intentionality to start, build and maintain good, deep friendships. We don't naturally see them everyday at school, we have jobs and a family and we are super busy. So what do we do to build them and what do we do to strengthen them? That's what we'll be hitting on in this episode.Please rate, review &amp; share the podcast!For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.

I don't believe we have any children listening to our podcast, so I think it's safe to say, you are an adult and you fall into one of these categories:<ul><li>You have great friends and would love to sustain them</li><li>You don't currently have many friends and want more</li><li>You have friends but would love more depth/time/fun</li></ul>In this episode Jenna and I (Aaron) talk about our journey of navigating friendships in adulthood. This is a time in our lives when it requires a lot of intentionality to start, build and maintain good, deep friendships. We don't naturally see them everyday at school, we have jobs and a family and we are super busy. So what do we do to build them and what do we do to strengthen them? That's what we'll be hitting on in this episode. Please rate, review &amp; share the podcast! For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ZintSquad.com</a> where you can book <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/coaching" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">one-on-one or couples coachings</a> for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/basic-01" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Habit Mastery Course</a> and check out Aaron's new book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BKGM6BTK/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_1BM1GZBNNGXB8JXESNVM?linkCode=ml1&amp;tag=jennazint04-20" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn</a>. Aaron also run's <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/services-7" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">online small groups </a>for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.

Navigating Friendships in Adulthood Pt 1

In this episode, Jenna shares what it's like having ADHD (attention deficit hyperactive disorder) and how the differences in her how brain works affects her ability to perceive time, the way she stores and retrieves information and how it affects her ability to focus. Aaron talks about what it's like being married to someone with ADHD and how to navigate it with grace.Please rate, review &amp; share the podcast!For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.

In this episode, Jenna shares what it's like having ADHD (attention deficit hyperactive disorder) and how the differences in her how brain works affects her ability to perceive time, the way she stores and retrieves information and how it affects her ability to focus. Aaron talks about what it's like being married to someone with ADHD and how to navigate it with grace. Please rate, review &amp; share the podcast! For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ZintSquad.com</a> where you can book <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/coaching" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">one-on-one or couples coachings</a> for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/basic-01" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Habit Mastery Course</a> and check out Aaron's new book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BKGM6BTK/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_1BM1GZBNNGXB8JXESNVM?linkCode=ml1&amp;tag=jennazint04-20" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn</a>. Aaron also run's <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/services-7" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">online small groups </a>for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.

ADHD in Marriage: navigating differences in time management, memory recall and focus

As we began to practice vulnerably sharing our hearts with each other, we found that we often ran into trouble when the listener would get defensive. So we started asking ourselves, what is it about the way I'm sharing my feelings that puts them on the defense?We found defensiveness shows up strongest for these reasons:Sometimes our "feelings" (read: emotions), are really disguised opinions, judgments or blame. For example, "I feel disrespected" is first of all, not an emotion at all, but a passive way of saying, "You disrespected me." Disrespecting someone is not as much as action as it is an intention of the heart. Of course someone would get defensive hearing that.Even when we managed to perfectly Connection Code our way through the vulnerable share and use one of the 8 core emotions, we as the listener had to train ourselves with the new belief that, "I can connect with their 'sad' and it doesn't mean I'm bad." Basically that my spouse can be hurt by me or be in emotional pain because of me and it doesn't actually mean that I've done something wrong. Necessarily paired with this is the belief that we began training ourselves to take on as the speaker, which is, "I can be sad and it doesn't mean they are bad." My pain does not equal the guilt of another.Finally, the heart of this episode. Because I'm feeling pain (read: sad, hurt, anger, fear, lonely, guilt or shame) that was triggered by my spouse, I'm going to share it with them, as I've learned holding it in breeds disconnection. However, I am not going to share this with them with the expectation/requirement that they apologize for causing me pain, nor am I going to expect/require they change their behavior.This is where it's easy to lose people. "What do you mean they don't need to apologize?" I'm not actually suggesting there isn't something to apologize for. What I'm suggesting is that our attempts at vulnerability turn into subtle attempts at control when we follow our emotions with the expectation or requirement that the listener admit their guilt by saying, "I was wrong, forgive me." Furthermore, to require that someone change their behavior in order for me to be okay (read: not sad anymore, not alone anymore, not fearful anymore), is classically called co-dependence. The good news is that hearing our spouse show up in true vulnerability inspires us to action. True vulnerability is the expression of our emotions that invites another to simply be with us in it. It's the act of getting known, not making demands. That place is one where we invite others to show up as the best version of themselves. It's from that place that the heart of our spouse gets to become their most authentic, creative, curious, compassionate and intentional selves. Quite the opposite when they are on the defensive. Please rate, review &amp; share the podcast!For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.

As we began to practice vulnerably sharing our hearts with each other, we found that we often ran into trouble when the listener would get defensive. So we started asking ourselves, what is it about the way I'm sharing my feelings that puts them on the defense? We found defensiveness shows up strongest for these reasons: <ol><li>Sometimes our "feelings" (read: emotions), are really disguised opinions, judgments or blame. For example, "I feel disrespected" is first of all, not an emotion at all, but a passive way of saying, "You disrespected me." Disrespecting someone is not as much as action as it is an intention of the heart. Of course someone would get defensive hearing that.</li><li>Even when we managed to perfectly Connection Code our way through the vulnerable share and use one of the 8 core emotions, we as the listener had to train ourselves with the new belief that, "I can connect with their 'sad' and it doesn't mean I'm bad." Basically that my spouse can be hurt by me or be in emotional pain because of me and it doesn't actually mean that I've done something wrong. Necessarily paired with this is the belief that we began training ourselves to take on as the speaker, which is, "I can be sad and it doesn't mean they are bad." My pain does not equal the guilt of another.</li><li>Finally, the heart of this episode. Because I'm feeling pain (read: sad, hurt, anger, fear, lonely, guilt or shame) that was triggered by my spouse, I'm going to share it with them, as I've learned holding it in breeds disconnection. However, I am not going to share this with them with the expectation/requirement that they apologize for causing me pain, nor am I going to expect/require they change their behavior.</li></ol>This is where it's easy to lose people. "What do you mean they don't need to apologize?" I'm not actually suggesting there isn't something to apologize for. What I'm suggesting is that our attempts at vulnerability turn into subtle attempts at control when we follow our emotions with the expectation or requirement that the listener admit their guilt by saying, "I was wrong, forgive me." Furthermore, to require that someone change their behavior in order for me to be okay (read: not sad anymore, not alone anymore, not fearful anymore), is classically called co-dependence. The good news is that hearing our spouse show up in true vulnerability inspires us to action. True vulnerability is the expression of our emotions that invites another to simply be with us in it. It's the act of getting known, not making demands. That place is one where we invite others to show up as the best version of themselves. It's from that place that the heart of our spouse gets to become their most authentic, creative, curious, compassionate and intentional selves. Quite the opposite when they are on the defensive. Please rate, review &amp; share the podcast! For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ZintSquad.com</a> where you can book <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/coaching" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">one-on-one or couples coachings</a> for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/basic-01" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Habit Mastery Course</a> and check out Aaron's new book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BKGM6BTK/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_1BM1GZBNNGXB8JXESNVM?linkCode=ml1&amp;tag=jennazint04-20" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn</a>. Aaron also run's <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/services-7" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">online small groups </a>for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.

No Apology Needed: why vulnerably sharing doesn't require require an apology or change

Tyler Cook

Stacey Cook took Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course last semester and joins us with her husband to talk about the life change both she and he have experienced as a result of implementing (keyword) the tools learned from the course. In this episode you'll hear them talk about:the transformation of debunking the all-or-nothing mentalitythe power of processing emotion with regularityhow someone who is already disciplined and structure can find new life and connection using relational habitsThe Cooks also share with us how they started implementing the "That's What She Said" tool from episode 18 and what it did for their relationship. Please rate, review &amp; share the podcast!For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.

Stacey Cook took Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course last semester and joins us with her husband to talk about the life change both she and he have experienced as a result of implementing (keyword) the tools learned from the course. In this episode you'll hear them talk about:<ul><li>the transformation of debunking the all-or-nothing mentality</li><li>the power of processing emotion with regularity</li><li>how someone who is already disciplined and structure can find new life and connection using relational habits</li></ul>The Cooks also share with us how they started implementing the "That's What She Said" tool from episode 18 and what it did for their relationship. Please rate, review &amp; share the podcast! For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ZintSquad.com</a> where you can book <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/coaching" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">one-on-one or couples coachings</a> for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/basic-01" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Habit Mastery Course</a> and check out Aaron's new book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BKGM6BTK/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_1BM1GZBNNGXB8JXESNVM?linkCode=ml1&amp;tag=jennazint04-20" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn</a>. Aaron also run's <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/services-7" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">online small groups </a>for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.

Stories of Life Change from the Habit Lab with Stacey & Tyler Cook

In this episode, Jenna and Aaron talk about the nuances of defensiveness when two people are communicating pain. The biggest struggle in learning to express emotion on a regular basis has been the defensiveness that inevitably arises as the result of our partner sharing pain that we caused. Aaron shares that playing the role of the victim typically results in defensiveness that is blaming. "If I feel sad, then that means you are bad/guilty/wrong/etc." Jenna shares that playing the role of the rescuer typically results in defensiveness that is internally focused shame. "If you feel sad, then that means I am bad/guilty/wrong/etc."They share the pathway to changing this unhelpful dynamic in bringing awareness to our styles of relating and then practicing through repetition, "I can connect to their sad and it doesn't mean I'm bad," or "I can be sad and it doesn't mean they are bad." Please rate, review &amp; share the podcast!For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.

In this episode, Jenna and Aaron talk about the nuances of defensiveness when two people are communicating pain. The biggest struggle in learning to express emotion on a regular basis has been the defensiveness that inevitably arises as the result of our partner sharing pain that we caused. Aaron shares that playing the role of the victim typically results in defensiveness that is blaming. "If I feel sad, then that means you are bad/guilty/wrong/etc." Jenna shares that playing the role of the rescuer typically results in defensiveness that is internally focused shame. "If you feel sad, then that means I am bad/guilty/wrong/etc." They share the pathway to changing this unhelpful dynamic in bringing awareness to our styles of relating and then practicing through repetition, "I can connect to their sad and it doesn't mean I'm bad," or "I can be sad and it doesn't mean they are bad." Please rate, review &amp; share the podcast! For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ZintSquad.com</a> where you can book <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/coaching" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">one-on-one or couples coachings</a> for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/basic-01" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Habit Mastery Course</a> and check out Aaron's new book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BKGM6BTK/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_1BM1GZBNNGXB8JXESNVM?linkCode=ml1&amp;tag=jennazint04-20" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn</a>. Aaron also run's <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/services-7" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">online small groups </a>for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.

Blame or Shame: The Nuances of Defensiveness

Aaron and Jenna have been married for over a decade and love talking to people about their relationships, the messiness, the struggle and the victories in all of it. If you're married or planning on it, you can expect 1) Tools for the growth of your marriage and you personally 2) Hope for a healthy marriage no matter what you've experienced up to this point 3) Laughter and comfort when you say, "That's totally us!" and "We've been there!"

In this episode we talk about the difficulty and necessity of keeping your heart soft in the middle of a hard conversation. This is one of the most difficult things to do when you are triggered, but it's the only path to connection in conflict. Jenna describes our recent car-buying experience and all of the strong emotion that arose with it and how she navigated the difficulty of it while keeping her heart soft. Aaron had his own work to do in the midst of it to keep his own heart soft.Your situation may not have been the same but you'll probably be able to relate.  Please rate, review &amp; share the podcast!For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn.

In this episode we talk about the difficulty and necessity of keeping your heart soft in the middle of a hard conversation. This is one of the most difficult things to do when you are triggered, but it's the only path to connection in conflict. Jenna describes our recent car-buying experience and all of the strong emotion that arose with it and how she navigated the difficulty of it while keeping her heart soft. Aaron had his own work to do in the midst of it to keep his own heart soft. Your situation may not have been the same but you'll probably be able to relate.   Please rate, review &amp; share the podcast! For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ZintSquad.com</a> where you can book <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/coaching" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">one-on-one or couples coachings</a> for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/basic-01" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Habit Mastery Course</a> and check out Aaron's new book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BKGM6BTK/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_1BM1GZBNNGXB8JXESNVM?linkCode=ml1&amp;tag=jennazint04-20" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn</a>.

Keeping Your Heart Soft in a Hard Conversation w/ Aaron & Jenna

In this episode, we review a tool Jenna created (and Aaron named) called That's What She Said. It's a tool for when you're dysregulated because of something your spouse said. Wives, feel free to change it to That's What He Said. Aaron shares how he used this tool a couple times recently around their sex life. You can do this by yourself (self-regulating) or with another person (co-regulating). Here is the gist of the tool. Write down what he/she actually said (the literal words). Write down what you heard them say. This is commonly referred to as the story we are telling ourselves.Write down a different story that casts the other person in a positive light, giving them the benefit of the doubt and thinking the best of what they actually meant. If the literal words are unkind such as "You are the worst," then the story you are going to tell yourself in this step is how those words really aren't about you but are about pain they are experiencing.The point of this exercise is to recognize when we are dysregulated not because of what they said but because of our imaginary ability to read someone's mind and determine their motives and hidden messages. We all think we're really good at this and some Christians may even label this as "discernment." However, the fruit of this "knowing" of ours is so full of disconnection, that we have an opportunity to question our stories and to write better ones. Please rate, review &amp; share the podcast!For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn.

In this episode, we review a tool Jenna created (and Aaron named) called That's What She Said. It's a tool for when you're dysregulated because of something your spouse said. Wives, feel free to change it to That's What He Said. Aaron shares how he used this tool a couple times recently around their sex life. You can do this by yourself (self-regulating) or with another person (co-regulating). Here is the gist of the tool.  <ol><li>Write down what he/she actually said (the literal words).</li><li> Write down what you heard them say. This is commonly referred to as the story we are telling ourselves.</li><li>Write down a different story that casts the other person in a positive light, giving them the benefit of the doubt and thinking the best of what they actually meant. If the literal words are unkind such as "You are the worst," then the story you are going to tell yourself in this step is how those words really aren't about you but are about pain they are experiencing.</li></ol>The point of this exercise is to recognize when we are dysregulated not because of what they said but because of our imaginary ability to read someone's mind and determine their motives and hidden messages. We all think we're really good at this and some Christians may even label this as "discernment." However, the fruit of this "knowing" of ours is so full of disconnection, that we have an opportunity to question our stories and to write better ones. Please rate, review &amp; share the podcast! For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ZintSquad.com</a> where you can book <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/coaching" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">one-on-one or couples coachings</a> for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/basic-01" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Habit Mastery Course</a> and check out Aaron's new book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BKGM6BTK/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_1BM1GZBNNGXB8JXESNVM?linkCode=ml1&amp;tag=jennazint04-20" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn</a>.

That's What She Said: a tool for regulating by telling yourself a better story w/ Jenna & Aaron

We had our friends Morgan &amp; Chris Nicholson on to talk about how they went from a volatile first few years of marriage to a thriving couple today. They share their experience of years of disconnection and hurt and the transformation that came from bringing others into their process and taking ownership for making change within themselves individually. Please rate, review &amp; share the podcast!For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn.

We had our friends Morgan &amp; Chris Nicholson on to talk about how they went from a volatile first few years of marriage to a thriving couple today. They share their experience of years of disconnection and hurt and the transformation that came from bringing others into their process and taking ownership for making change within themselves individually. Please rate, review &amp; share the podcast! For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ZintSquad.com</a> where you can book <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/coaching" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">one-on-one or couples coachings</a> for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/basic-01" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Habit Mastery Course</a> and check out Aaron's new book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BKGM6BTK/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_1BM1GZBNNGXB8JXESNVM?linkCode=ml1&amp;tag=jennazint04-20" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn</a>.

From Volatile to Vulnerable w/ Chris and Morgan Nicholson

Rebekah LaRobardiere

This week we interview our friends Sam &amp; Rebecca LaRobardiere. Sam owns a local award-winning coffee shop and roastery called Theory. Rebecca is a certified Sex Coach. Both of these pursuits happened during marriage with young kids. We watched as they both pursued the dreams that were on their heart while maintaining connection with each other and as a family. As they share in this episode, it was done perfectly and they learned a lot along the way.Please rate, review &amp; share the podcast!For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn.

This week we interview our friends Sam &amp; Rebecca LaRobardiere. Sam owns a local award-winning coffee shop and roastery called Theory. Rebecca is a certified Sex Coach. Both of these pursuits happened during marriage with young kids. We watched as they both pursued the dreams that were on their heart while maintaining connection with each other and as a family. As they share in this episode, it was done perfectly and they learned a lot along the way. Please rate, review &amp; share the podcast! For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ZintSquad.com</a> where you can book <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/coaching" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">one-on-one or couples coachings</a> for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/basic-01" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Habit Mastery Course</a> and check out Aaron's new book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BKGM6BTK/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_1BM1GZBNNGXB8JXESNVM?linkCode=ml1&amp;tag=jennazint04-20" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn</a>.

Pursuing Dreams in Marriage w/ Sam & Rebekah LaRobardiere

Danny and Sheri Silk are the creators of the organization Loving on Purpose which is a resource for people who want relationships that are full of hope, solid communication skills and ultimately a loving connection. They have classes, courses, teachings, books and resources for better marriages, parenting and relationships in general. Danny has written multiple life-changing books including Unpunishable, Culture of Honor, Loving Our Kids on Purpose, Powerful &amp; Free, and Keep Your Love On as well as having co-authored numerous others. He and his daughter Brittany host the KYLO Show podcast, KYLO standing for Keep Your Love On.  Danny and Sheri were pastors at Bethel church for many years and were our first introduction to what it meant to live an emotionally intelligent and relationally connected life. They were and continue to be transformational in both of our lives. Danny even wrote an endorsement for my book Numb to Known which was incredibly generous of him. Please check out their website when you get a chance LovingOnPurpose.com. While you’re at it, check out our website ZintSquad.com, where you can find information about Jenna’s life-changing Habit Mastery Course. Every one of us has innumerable habits in our life that we’ve intentionally or unintentionally created and they are either serving us well, just getting us by or taking from us. In Jenna’s course, she uses the science of behavior change and the psychology of the mind and heart to help people build habits that not only help you build the life you didn’t know was possible but one that is sustainable. In this course, you’ll get practical tools to overcoming life-long roadblocks that have felt impossible to move past. You’ll create your own habits throughout the course guidance from Jenna herself who is the best person I know at encouraging, ideating, iterating and sustaining sustainable change.   They are currently in the middle of one of the 12 week courses that she offers, so if you want to get on the waitlist, go to ZintSquad.com and click on Habit Mastery Course at the top.  While you’re there, you can book a one-on-one coaching ses

Danny and Sheri Silk are the creators of the organization <a href="https://lovingonpurpose.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Loving on Purpose</a> which is a resource for people who want relationships that are full of hope, solid communication skills and ultimately a loving connection. They have classes, courses, teachings, books and resources for better marriages, parenting and relationships in general. Danny has written multiple life-changing books including <a href="https://smile.amazon.com/Unpunishable-Punishment-Repentance-Restoration-Reconciliation/dp/1947165763/ref=sr_1_4?crid=LTBX65M6P088&amp;keywords=danny+silk+books&amp;qid=1675004515&amp;sprefix=danny+silk+book%2Caps%2C230&amp;sr=8-4" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Unpunishable</a>, <a href="https://smile.amazon.com/Culture-Honor-Sustaining-Supernatural-Environment/dp/0768431468/ref=sr_1_2?crid=LTBX65M6P088&amp;keywords=danny+silk+books&amp;qid=1675004515&amp;sprefix=danny+silk+book%2Caps%2C230&amp;sr=8-2" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Culture of Honor</a>, <a href="https://smile.amazon.com/Loving-Kids-Purpose-Heart-Heart/dp/0768427398/ref=sr_1_3?crid=LTBX65M6P088&amp;keywords=danny+silk+books&amp;qid=1675004515&amp;sprefix=danny+silk+book%2Caps%2C230&amp;sr=8-3" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Loving Our Kids on Purpose</a>, <a href="https://smile.amazon.com/Powerful-Free-Danny-Silk/dp/1942306083/ref=sr_1_13?crid=LTBX65M6P088&amp;keywords=danny+silk+books&amp;qid=1675004515&amp;sprefix=danny+silk+book%2Caps%2C230&amp;sr=8-13" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Powerful &amp; Free</a>, and <a href="https://smile.amazon.com/Keep-Your-Love-Connection-Communication/dp/1942306067/ref=sr_1_1?crid=LTBX65M6P088&amp;keywords=danny+silk+books&amp;qid=1675004515&amp;sprefix=danny+silk+book%2Caps%2C230&amp;sr=8-1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Keep Your Love On</a> as well as having co-authored numerous others. He and his daughter Brittany host the <a href="https://www.thekyloshow.com/optin1614712554803" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">KYLO Show podcast,</a> KYLO standing for Keep Your Love On.  Danny and Sheri were pastors at Bethel church for many years and were our first introduction to what it meant to live an emotionally intelligent and relationally connected life. They were and continue to be transformational in both of our lives. Danny even wrote an endorsement for my book <a href="https://smile.amazon.com/Numb-Known-Surprising-Path-Away/dp/B0BKGM6BTK/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2FK561M9HCXH5&amp;keywords=numb+to+known&amp;qid=1675004681&amp;sprefix=numb+to+known%2Caps%2C162&amp;sr=8-1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Numb to Known</a> which was incredibly generous of him. Please check out their website when you get a chance <a href="https://lovingonpurpose.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">LovingOnPurpose.com</a>. While you’re at it, check out our website <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ZintSquad.com</a>, where you can find information about Jenna’s life-changing <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/basic-01" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Habit Mastery Course</a>. Every one of us has innumerable habits in our life that we’ve intentionally or unintentionally created and they are either serving us well, just getting us by or taking from us. In Jenna’s course, she uses the science of behavior change and the psychology of the mind and heart to help people build habits that not only help you build the life you didn’t know was possible but one that is sustainable. In this course, you’ll get practical tools to overcoming life-long roadblocks that have felt impossible to move past. You’ll create your own habits throughout the course guidance from Jenna herself who is the best person I know at encouraging, ideating, iterating and sustaining sustainable change.   They are currently in the middle of one of the 12 week courses that she offers, so if you want to get on the waitlist, go to <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ZintSquad.com</a> and click on <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/basic-01" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Habit Mastery Course</a> at the top.  While you’re there, you can book a <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website/coaching" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">one-on-one coaching ses</a>

Loving on Purpose: Connection, Communication & Boundaries w/ Danny & Sheri Silk

Phyllis Hill

For 20% of a Connection Codes Masterclass, go to ConnectionCodes.co and use the code "ZINT20"We highly recommend these life changing courses from the Hills.We are excited to have Dr. Glenn &amp; Phyllis Hill back on the podcast to talk about Sex! The Hills are the creators of the Connection Codes which has changed thousands of lives in helping couples and individuals alike understand how they are wired (coded) to connect with others through the processing and sharing of emotion. Jenna and I have been specifically impacted by their teaching and guidance as it has come to influence just about everything in our lives.In this episode, we talk about Valentine's Day coming up in a few weeks and how much pressure and expectation can be put on this day especially for couples around the area of sex and romance. Our sexual connection as married couples can be rife with hurt, sadness, fear or shame. If that feels true for you, notice how each of those are core emotions. If they are felt, they need to be processed with your partner in order to create connection and mend disconnection. In this episode, we dive into what that looks like and the benefits of processing sexual emotion in your relationship. To hear more about the Zints have to offer, check out our website, ZintSquad.com. We having individual and couples coaching sessions available and you can also check out my book, Numb to Known: the surprising path away from porn

For 20% of a Connection Codes Masterclass, go to <a href="https://www.connectioncodes.co/courses" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ConnectionCodes.co</a> and use the code "ZINT20" We highly recommend these life changing courses from the Hills. We are excited to have Dr. Glenn &amp; Phyllis Hill back on the podcast to talk about Sex! The Hills are the creators of the <a href="https://www.connectioncodes.co/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Connection Codes</a> which has changed thousands of lives in helping couples and individuals alike understand how they are wired (coded) to connect with others through the processing and sharing of emotion. Jenna and I have been specifically impacted by their teaching and guidance as it has come to influence just about everything in our lives. In this episode, we talk about Valentine's Day coming up in a few weeks and how much pressure and expectation can be put on this day especially for couples around the area of sex and romance. Our sexual connection as married couples can be rife with hurt, sadness, fear or shame. If that feels true for you, notice how each of those are core emotions. If they are felt, they need to be processed with your partner in order to create connection and mend disconnection. In this episode, we dive into what that looks like and the benefits of processing sexual emotion in your relationship. To hear more about the Zints have to offer, check out our website, <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ZintSquad.com</a>. We having individual and couples coaching sessions available and you can also check out my book, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BKGM6BTK/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_1BM1GZBNNGXB8JXESNVM?linkCode=ml1&amp;tag=jennazint04-20" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Numb to Known: the surprising path away from porn</a>

Connection Codes: Processing Sexual Emotion with Dr. Glenn & Phyllis Hill

In this episode, Jenna and Aaron take some time to define vulnerability and talk about what it looks like to practice vulnerability in  relationships. Vulnerability is the act of revealing your internal world to another person, giving them access to affect you. This act is inherently risky but it is the only way to invite safety into the relationship. They also dive into the common obstacles to practicing vulnerability.For one-on-one or couples coaching, go to ZintSquad.com. Check out Aaron's book Numb to Known on Amazon.

In this episode, Jenna and Aaron take some time to define vulnerability and talk about what it looks like to practice vulnerability in  relationships. Vulnerability is the act of revealing your internal world to another person, giving them access to affect you. This act is inherently risky but it is the only way to invite safety into the relationship. They also dive into the common obstacles to practicing vulnerability. For one-on-one or couples coaching, go to <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ZintSquad.com</a>. Check out Aaron's book <a href="https://smile.amazon.com/Numb-Known-Surprising-Path-Away/dp/B0BKGM6BTK/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3LM6EORT8N5XB&amp;keywords=numb+to+known&amp;qid=1673796549&amp;sprefix=numb+to+know%2Caps%2C292&amp;sr=8-1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Numb to Known</a> on Amazon.

The Obstacles & Practice of Vulnerability w/ Aaron & Jenna

Jenna and Aaron review the growth and change in 2022 and discuss the keys to moving into the new year that is sustainable. Rather than attempting to change the parts of ourselves we don't like, we can attempt to love ourselves in those areas and experience the change we wanted all along.Check out Jenna's Habit Mastery Course coming up in January 2023! Sign up before registration closes.Check out Aaron's book, Numb to Known: the surprising path away from porn, on Amazon now!

Jenna and Aaron review the growth and change in 2022 and discuss the keys to moving into the new year that is sustainable. Rather than attempting to change the parts of ourselves we don't like, we can attempt to love ourselves in those areas and experience the change we wanted all along. Check out <a href="https://form.jotform.com/222326728134150" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Jenna's Habit Mastery Course </a>coming up in January 2023! Sign up before registration closes. Check out Aaron's book, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BKGM6BTK/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_1BM1GZBNNGXB8JXESNVM?linkCode=ml1&amp;tag=jennazint04-20" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Numb to Known: the surprising path away from porn</a>, on Amazon now!

Intentional Movement into Change, Growth & the Unknown w/ Aaron & Jenna

Becky Johnson

Derek and Becky Johnson, pastors at Jesus Culture Sacramento, join us in this episode. They talk about Derek being a stay at home dad while Becky worked, what it was like when they began to work together (Becky as the Executive Pastor and Derek as the Worship Pastor), and then when Derek began to undo passivity in his life in a way that was disruptive to their normal but ultimately great for their marriage.

Derek and Becky Johnson, pastors at Jesus Culture Sacramento, join us in this episode. They talk about Derek being a stay at home dad while Becky worked, what it was like when they began to work together (Becky as the Executive Pastor and Derek as the Worship Pastor), and then when Derek began to undo passivity in his life in a way that was disruptive to their normal but ultimately great for their marriage.

Undoing Passivity in Marriage w/ Derek & Becky Johnson

In this episode, Aaron shares a recent experience of some painful emotions piling up and that even though other people, like Jenna, were part of the triggers, none of them were to blame. Furthermore, the fact that Aaron had some irrational beliefs were  no reason to shut down what he was feeling. Some key points from this processing were:We can be in pain and no one is to blameYour emotions don't have to be rational to be valid. They just need to be feltThe best way to address painful emotions is to process them with othersLastly, Aaron &amp; Jenna discuss the upcoming Christmas holiday and how to prepare yourself emotionally and mentally to be full of intentionality when you are with family, having more downtime and just outside of your normal routine. Get the free Holiday Habits Webinar by clicking HERE or go to ZintSquad.com. Jenna's next Habit Lab Mastery Course is starting the week of January 10th, 2023. This is a 3 month course in which you will learn the science and art of creating lasting change through habits. Click HERE to get more information or apply.Check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known on Amazon.

In this episode, Aaron shares a recent experience of some painful emotions piling up and that even though other people, like Jenna, were part of the triggers, none of them were to blame. Furthermore, the fact that Aaron had some irrational beliefs were  no reason to shut down what he was feeling. Some key points from this processing were:<ul><li>We can be in pain and no one is to blame</li><li>Your emotions don't have to be rational to be valid. They just need to be felt</li><li>The best way to address painful emotions is to process them with others</li></ul>Lastly, Aaron &amp; Jenna discuss the upcoming Christmas holiday and how to prepare yourself emotionally and mentally to be full of intentionality when you are with family, having more downtime and just outside of your normal routine. Get the free Holiday Habits Webinar by clicking <a href="https://form.jotform.com/222327165407149" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a> or go to <a href="https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ZintSquad.com</a>. Jenna's next <a href="https://form.jotform.com/222326728134150" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Habit Lab Mastery Course</a> is starting the week of January 10th, 2023. This is a 3 month course in which you will learn the science and art of creating lasting change through habits. Click <a href="https://form.jotform.com/222326728134150" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a> to get more information or apply. Check out Aaron's new book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Numb-Known-Surprising-Path-Away/dp/B0BKGM6BTK/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2DWNT7M9IIHWQ&amp;keywords=numb+to+known+aaron+zint&amp;qid=1670771438&amp;sprefix=numb+to+known+aaron+zi%2Caps%2C407&amp;sr=8-1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Numb to Known</a> on Amazon.

I can be in pain & no one is to blame w/ Jenna & Aaron

Aaron and Jenna have been married for over a decade and love talking to people about their relationships, the messiness, the struggle and the victories in all of it. If you're married or planning on it, you can expect 1) Tools for the growth of your marriage and you personally 2) Hope for a healthy marriage no matter what you've experienced up to this point 3) Laughter and comfort when you say, "That's totally us!" and "We've been there!"

Marriage Lab

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Best Episodes on Physical Health & Your Body

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