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Undone Redone

Welcome to Undone Redone, the podcast that talks the messiness of life…addiction and infidelity…grace and reconciliation…marriage and family…authenticity and faith. Tray and Mel are a couple that know a thing or two about messy and who are thrilled that their divorce did not work out! Let's talk about scandalous grace! All show notes and more of their story at http://www.undoneredone.com.

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UR 32: Our Divorce Didn't Work Out

Traylor and Melody share their messy, yet redemptive story of marriage, divorce, and reconciliation in this episode of the Undone Redone podcast. Divorced for six years because of Traylor's addiction to pornography and sex, Traylor and Melody openly and honestly share their painful journey that led to their miraculous re-marriage in 2008. Consider sharing this incredible story of hope with anyone that you know who is struggling in their marriage.

1hr 22mins

24 Sep 2013

Rank #1

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UR 118: Healing From Sex Addiction — Seth Alan Taylor

On this week's show, Tray and Mel are joined by author, speaker, and life-coach Seth Alan Taylor who openly shares his journey of recovery from pornography addiction and offers hope and help for fellow sojourners. Seth's first book, Feels Like Redemption, leans into the issue of porn addiction, but is a book for everyone who seeks to experience freedom in their lives. Trained by Dr. Dan Allender at the Seattle School of Theology and Psychology, Seth brings deep insight and wisdom to this important question of “How Do People Change?” A few quotes from this episode: “We carry our trauma in our bodies, but we survive in our brains.” “I started training myself how to feel.” “Instead of trying to master our trauma, we must move into it.” “There is no resurrection without a crucifixion.” “We must stop seeking lives that have no scars.” Get Seth's book, Feels Like Redemption, on Amazon at http://amzn.to/2v7uFmF. Connect with Seth on Facebook, Twitter and at sethalantaylor.com.

58mins

31 Jul 2017

Rank #2

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UR 204: When To Walk Away — Gary Thomas

Have you ever found yourself in a toxic relationship with others? As Christians, we often feel the guilt and responsibility of meeting the needs of unhealthy people in our lives. Whether a family member, spouse, coworker, or friend, toxic people frequently seek to frustrate our empathy in Christ Jesus. While you're seeking God's kingdom first, it seems like they're seeking to distract your focus and delay your work. Instead of attempting the impossible task of mollifying toxic people, it's time we dedicate our energy to the only worthwhile effort: completing the work God has given us by investing in reliable people. It's only when we learn to say no to bad patterns that we can say yes to the good work God has planned for us.  On this week's episode of The Undone Redone Podcast, bestselling author of Sacred Marriage, Gary Thomas shares biblical examples of how Christ dealt with toxic people in his new book When to Walk Away, Finding Freedom From Toxic People. Here are just a few topics Thomas shares with Tray and Melody: How to learn the difference between difficult people and toxic people How to find refuge in God when you feel under attack How we can discern when to walk away from a toxic situation How we can keep a tender heart even in unhealthy relationships We encourage our listeners to learn more about Gary Thomas at his website http://www.garythomas.com/ and can pre-order his new book now on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/When-Walk-Away-Finding-Freedom-ebook/dp/B07PR87KLL.  Quotes: "Jesus warns his followers away from spending too much time on a toxic person. He says 'don't throw your pearls to pigs or what is holy to dogs' and He isn't being disrespectful there, but He is recognizing we must know when to walk away." "We can't let others steal our joy or our mission. It's time to strengthen our defense, learn to set healthy boundaries, and focus on our God-given purpose." "Just like if you were to remove my spine from my body, even if I had 205 bones left, taking the fall out of scripture puts evil in a position to corrupt good, God-centered people and relationships."

1hr

1 Oct 2019

Rank #3

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UR 208: Disappointed, Difficult, or Destructive Marriage? — Leslie Vernick

On this week's episode of The Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with author and counselor Leslie Vernick. Leslie is the author of seven books, including the best selling, The Emotionally Destructive Relationship and her most recent book, The Emotionally Destructive Marriage. She speaks with Tray and Melody about the difference between a disappointing relationship and a destructive relationship, and what we as spouses can do when we find ourselves in either type. Our listeners can learn more about Leslie and her work by going to her website: https://leslievernick.com/ Quotes: "When you give another person the power to define you, then you also give them the power to control you." "In some marriages, trying harder does not engender a reciprocal response. It has the opposite effect. It feeds the fantasy that the sole purpose of your life is to serve your husband, make him happy, and meet his every need." "Biblically loving your husband doesn’t require you to prop him up in order to enable him to continue to hurt you."

53mins

29 Oct 2019

Rank #4

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UR 14: 5 Things Every Woman Should Know When They Discover Spouse’s Sexual Sin

Undone Redone is a weekly podcast by Traylor and Melody Lovvorn that courageously steps into the brokenness and messiness of life and gazes through the lens of God’s wonderfully scandalous grace. Due to the epidemic of sexual sin within our culture, more and more individuals are facing the painful experience of discovering their spouse’s secrets of sexual sin. While the church knows how to minister when there is illness and death, individuals can often find themselves very alone when facing the reality of sexual sin within marriage. In this episode, Tray and Melody pull from their own experience and offer 5 things every woman should know when dealing with her husband’s sexual sin.

36mins

14 May 2013

Rank #5

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UR 39: Rebuilding Trust — Adam Calvert

Trust is a fundamental principle of life and the foundation of every relationship. When trust is broken in a marriage, the effects can be devastating and it can be very difficult for the relationship to recover. In this episode of the Undone Redone podcast, therapist Adam Calvert provides an in-depth look at the importance of trust in marriage and lays out a process for rebuilding trust when it has been broken. Even if your marriage has not experienced deep betrayal, this foundational teaching on trust can still help and strengthen the relationship with your spouse. 

1hr 1min

4 Nov 2013

Rank #6

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UR 129: Healing After An Affair — Tim Tedder

On episode 129, Tray and Melody are joined by therapist Tim Tedder to discuss infidelity, betrayal, and affairs. Tim walks us through how he came into counseling, personal experiences that continue to impact him today, and how he brings hope and healing to wounded people around him. This is a truly impactful and resource-filled episode that you don’t want to miss. Prior to earning his Master’s Degree in Counseling from Indiana Wesleyan University. Tim spent nearly 20 years as a leader and teacher, focusing on spiritual and personal growth issues for individuals and families. In his speaking and counseling, he aims to creatively communicate a message of hope and healing to wounded people with a special focus on helping couples in crisis. This passion of helping to provide healing and hope to wounded people was made clear in his early 20s. Tim is a father and grandfather. He worked as a family therapist in Indiana before moving with his wife, Sharon, to Orlando in 2008 to join the staff of Charis Counseling Center. In 2009, he began developing Affairhealing.com, which has become a popular affair recovery resource for people around the world. In the summer of 2013, Time and Sharon started their own private practice: Currents Counseling Services, LLC. Tim is the Author of Affair Healing which is available for purchase at http://www.affairhealingbook.com/. The book provides chapters with guided activities, 18 worksheets, and a free download of Affair Healing: A Recovery Guide for Couples. Learn more about The Recovery Room podcast here. affairhealing.com/podcast.html For a FREE 5-day course and 50% off of Tim’s books for you our Undone Redone listeners, go to www.affairhealing.com/redone. Find out more about coaching available through Undone Redone at www.undoneredone.com/coaching. To learn more about the resources Melody has created to help women through betrayal visit www.Lifebeyondbetrayal.com or text lifebeyondbetrayal to 44222 to receive her 3 FREE videos. Don’t forget to see The Heart Of Man in theaters, October 17th, for its encore presentation! Find tickets and learn more at http://www.heartofmanmovie.com.  If you would like to become a monthly ministry partner to help support the show, please visit www.undoneredone.com/ministry-partners to make your tax-deductible gift securely online. Your gift helps us reach more people with Undone Redone's message of hope and reconciliation.

1hr 2mins

16 Oct 2017

Rank #7

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UR 175: Every Good Marriage Begins With A Funeral — Gary Thomas

On this week’s episode of The Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with Author Gary Thomas. Gary has published over 19 books including Sacred Marriage, 9 Must-Have Conversations for a Doubt-Free Wedding Day, and Authentic Faith.

59mins

22 Jan 2019

Rank #8

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UR 68: Life Beyond Betrayal — Melody Lovvorn

In this episode, Melody steps out of the co-host seat and into the guest seat as Tray interviews her about her new online audio course called Life Beyond Betrayal. Sharing from her personal experience, Melody gives valuable perspective to the woman who is facing this reality and provides a clear path to move forward. For more information on this invaluable resource, go to www.lifebeyondbetrayal.com. Got questions? Email us at feedback@undoneredone.com or leave us a voicemail at www.undoneredone.com. Thanks for listening!

37mins

10 Aug 2015

Rank #9

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UR 211: Post Traumatic Growth — Dr. Shannan Crawford

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with Dr. Shannan Crawford to discuss post traumatic growth. Dr. Crawford is a licensed clinical psychologist, conference speaker, adjunct professor, and innovator-expert in Restoring Self-Cohesion. She explains the difficulty of overcoming severe trauma in our lives and the steps we can take to begin that recovery process. She shares her own stories of trauma with Tray and Melody and how God and His word can work to identify and eliminate internal blocks or triggers that hinder us from optimally thriving and fulfilling our life purpose. Our listeners can learn more about Dr. Crawford's practice and speak engagements at www.drshannancrawford.com. Quotes: "Just as the body goes to the rescue of an injured limb, the soul aims to rescue the wounded part of the self." "The dreams you accomplish are less about what you do and more about the substance and character of who you are."

1hr 1min

26 Nov 2019

Rank #10

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UR 110: The Shark of Shame — Jay Stringer

Therapist Jay Stringer joins us for episode 110 of the show to discuss story and the importance of understanding our trauma and wounds in order to experience true healing. Jay shares the difference between the quick-fix band-aid that we often turn to and the healing process that takes time and intentionality. This interview also offers a powerful discussion about the paramount reality of shame in our lives and how it impacts our core-beliefs and even how we see and hear God. Jay leans on his clinical experience to explain the counterintuitive solution to shame - turning toward it and facing it head-on. Connect with Jay on Facebook or on his site at www.jay-stringer.com.

53mins

4 Jun 2017

Rank #11

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UR 36: Surviving Infidelity — Brian and Jenni Clayville

Brian and Jenni Clayville's marriage survived a two-year affair. They share their painful yet redemptive story of hope and healing on this week's Undone Redone podcast as part of our Perfectly Imperfect Marriage series. If you or someone you know have experienced the pain of infidelity, tune in and learn from the Clayville's experience. 

54mins

15 Oct 2013

Rank #12

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UR 93: All Things New: Healing and Restoration After an STD — Carrie Wilson

Episode #93 discusses an important topic that is often overlooked in our society…especially in the Church. Our guest, Carrie Wilson, courageously shares her story that includes a struggle with sexual sin as a female that ultimately led to an STD. 

Our enemy loves to keep us alone and isolated in shame, believing the lie that nobody is like us. Sharing our stories of brokenness helps to create the “Me Too” community that leads to healing and lasting change. Carrie boldly shares her story in order to offer hope and help to other females who are currently believing that they are alone and that no one can relate. Sexual brokenness is plaguing our culture and it is not just a man’s issue. Listen to our interview with Carrie and consider sharing it with your family and friends. Someone you know needs to hear this message of hope!

If you are enjoying the Undone Redone podcast, please consider giving us a rating and review! Remember…Life is Messy. Bring Your Boots!

31mins

10 Nov 2016

Rank #13

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UR 106: The Heart of Man — William Paul Young

William Paul Young, author of the bestselling book, The Shack, joins Tray and Melody on episode 106 to share his story of abuse, addiction, and finding God in the middle of his pain. 

 Much has been written and debated among Christians about Young’s depiction of God in The Shack, but this interview allows the listener to ‘walk a mile in his shoes’, so to speak. Paul doesn’t mince words about his own sexual abuse as a child as well as his painful journey to discover himself and the true heart of God. Connect with William Paul Young at www.theshackbook.com or on Twitter at @wmpaulyoung.

1hr 13mins

29 Mar 2017

Rank #14

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UR 153: Pain as the Pathway to Healing — Jay Stringer

Tray is joined again by Therapist Jay Stringer to discuss how we can go into our pain and that can be a roadmap to our healing. Jay talks about his work with men and women in diving deep into the root of where issues might come from. Jay discusses how diving into this pain often puts you on the path towards direct healing.His first book Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing, will be released in the fall of 2018.  You can read the first chapter and pre-order your copy of the book here. http://www.jay-stringer.com/book/ Jay has spent the last decade working on the frontlines of the demand for pornography and sexual exploitation. He holds an MDiv and master in counseling psychology from the Seattle School of Theology and Psychology and received post-graduate training under Dr. Patrick Carnes and Dr. Dan Allender. As a writer, speaker, and therapist, Jay’s work guides men and women through the shameful portions of their story and into a journey of meaning and healing. Connect with Jay on Facebook or on his site at www.jay-stringer.com.

33mins

24 Apr 2018

Rank #15

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UR 165: Healing From Betrayal Trauma — Catherine Etherington

Melody is joined by Catherine Etherington all the way from Northern England to discuss betrayal trauma, her unique insight into addiction of all types, recovery and the beauty of grace.  Catherine and Melody talk their own journey through betrayal and finding healing through various resources and community. Catherine and Melody discuss how finding community, support and finding someone to process the pain with are the best first steps for women to take after facing betrayal. Self care is an extremely important part of the healing process due to the amount of emotional energy women are putting out. Catherine walks us through the process she walks women through to find true healing and comfort after betrayal. Catherine is a 10 year recovering addict who found Christ through her recovery. Catherine met her husband a few years into her recovery journey and coming out of a relationship with a man who was struggling with sex addiction. After several years Catherine discovered pornography on her husband’s phone. After doing loads of research, and finding support and resources for him Catherine hit a brick wall in finding support for herself. This caused Catherine to become a life and recovery coach. Full Circle Coaching was created to offer support and guidance for women as they consider what the future holds for themselves as well as their relationship. It is aimed at providing support for them to rebuild their personal wholeness and strength. Catherine has trained as a Certified Professional Life Coach and has added specialist training for partners of men with sexual issues with both the American Association of Sex Addiction Specialists (AASAT) and The Association of Partners of Se Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS), making me the only coach with this training in the UK. Catherine is able to provide a unique insight into addiction and has worked with many other addicts to achieve sobriety through the 12 step model and other modalities. Catherine is a published blogger, aiming to raise awareness of the issue of sex addiction and the impact on the partner, writing for the Huffington Post as well as other publications. She is a 35 year old mother to two daughters both entering their teens. This issue will affect all women in some way and Catherine’s goal is to work hard to equip her daughters for healthy relationships when the time comes.

52mins

14 Aug 2018

Rank #16

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UR 69: Sex and True Intimacy — Melea Stephens

We’re talking sex and our deep desires on this episode of the Undone Redone podcast! With the recent hack of cheating website AshleyMadison.com that boasts over 39 million now not-so-anonymous subscribers, it is pretty apparent we need fresh perspective on how to cultivate true intimacy in our relationships. Sex therapist Melea Stephens once again joins Tray and Mel on the show and provides insight and wisdom on how to cultivate a marriage relationship that is mutually satisfying. Got questions? Email us at feedback@undoneredone.com or leave us a voicemail at www.undoneredone.com. Thanks for listening!

47mins

20 Aug 2015

Rank #17

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UR 194: Rethinking Sexuality — Juli Slattery

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with Author Juli Slattery to discuss sexuality. Juli explains how sexuality is often misinterpreted in the church and that only 10% of Christians enter a marriage without some form of sexual experience from a previous relationship. Juli then discusses what to do for Christians that reach marriage with or without baggage and say "Ok... Now what?" We encourage our listeners to check out her new book "Rethinking Sexuality" and visiting her website https://www.authenticintimacy.com/ for more resources on properly defining God's view of healthy sexuality in marriage.

55mins

22 Jul 2019

Rank #18

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UR 164: Keep Walking: Healing After Betrayal— Lynn Cherry

Melody is joined by Lynn Cherry to take betrayal, healing and the beautiful grace found in the gospel. Melody and Lynn share their personal journeys walking through betrayal trauma and how they got through the most difficult times in their lives. Lynn walks us through her own undone redone story including getting married, starting a family and discovering betrayal from her husband through pornography addiction. Lynn and Melody discuss her book. And how it is used as a healing tool for women facing betrayal. Lynn was born and raised in North Dakota. She discovered a love of writing in the sixth grade and was a bit of a science nerd. She went to college, got a degree in biology, and met her husband, David. They got married in 1991 and moved to Texas. She worked in molecular genetics for six years and when she became a mom, she was able to stay home with their two boys. During the most difficulty season in life Lynn rediscovered her love of writing. After discovering her husband’s virtual infidelity of pornography addiction Lynn pretended and coped for many years, but because of the grace and joy found in the Gospel Jesus met her in the pain. He gave her the courage and strength to face it. Writing helped her reconcile her reality. After going through group therapy, Lynn learned that the way she expressed her recovery journey resonated with other women. She released my book,  Keep Walking, 40 Days to Hope and Freedom after Betrayal in 2016. Thanks to Jesus and therapy, Lynn and her husband made it through the addiction and trauma together. They both knew they wanted to share their story and wanted people to know there is hope.

41mins

7 Aug 2018

Rank #19

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UR 95: Grieving Death — James Bishop

Episode 95 features a topic that has never been dealt with directly on the Undone Redone podcast — death. Just five years ago, business consultant James Bishop was on top of world, preparing to start traveling with his wife Jane to watch their twin boys play baseball at Jacksonville State University.  In their sons’ Freshman season, after a win over Auburn where their son Michael had gone 3 for 3, Jane died suddenly after suffering a massive brain hemorrhage on the drive home. In this heartfelt interview, James courageously shares his journey through the depression and anger he experienced after Jane’s death and provides profound insight into how God used her death to teach him how to live. Please consider sharing this episode with your family and friends who need to hear this important perspective on death. If this story has touched you and you would like to reach out to James, connect with him on LinkedIn or email him at jbishop@acceleratedrev.com.

1hr 16mins

10 Dec 2016

Rank #20