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Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

The weekly Ross o'Carroll-Kelly column in audio, read by Paul Howard. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Father and son. From the same city. And we might as well be a donkey talking to a parrot

Father and son. From the same city. And we might as well be a donkey talking to a parrot

So it’s, like, ten o’clock on a Friday night and Ronan’s at the front door. He goes, “How are you fixed for the Oddle Ar... Read more

28 Jul 2023

5mins

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‘We caught the so-called SUV avenger tonight, in the actual act!’

‘We caught the so-called SUV avenger tonight, in the actual act!’

Sorcha smiles warmly at me – an event so rare that it’s actually worth mentioning. “I’m so proud of our daughter,” she g... Read more

14 Jul 2023

6mins

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People like us don’t get embarrassed. That’s how we’ve ended up where we are in life

People like us don’t get embarrassed. That’s how we’ve ended up where we are in life

The old man rings me at, like, two o’clock in the afternoon and goes, “Ross! You’re not busy, are you?” Hosted on Acast.... Read more

7 Jul 2023

6mins

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‘What if the SUV Avenger turned out to be your daughter, Sorcha?’

‘What if the SUV Avenger turned out to be your daughter, Sorcha?’

“Oh my God,” Sorcha goes, “they’ve struck again!”I’m there, “What are you talking about? As in, like, what the fock?” Ho... Read more

30 Jun 2023

6mins

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The SUV Avenger has slashed the tyres on Sorcha’s cor

The SUV Avenger has slashed the tyres on Sorcha’s cor

So – yeah, no – we’re at the recycling centre with a boot full of empty cans and bottles from a recent borbecue to celeb... Read more

24 Jun 2023

6mins

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‘Bloomsday is God’s way of telling middle class people they have too much time on their hands’

‘Bloomsday is God’s way of telling middle class people they have too much time on their hands’

I’m standing outside the famous Galloper on the Stillorgan dualler when Ronan rocks up. He’s as surprised to see me as I... Read more

16 Jun 2023

6mins

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There’s nothing like the school sports day to get the old competitive juices flowing

There’s nothing like the school sports day to get the old competitive juices flowing

I have to confess to getting a bit carried away, and I stort shouting things like, ‘Eat it up, you pack of losers!’ at t... Read more

9 Jun 2023

6mins

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‘I want to have – oh my God – everything done?’ Honor goes. ‘My chin, my nose, my forehead, my lips’

‘I want to have – oh my God – everything done?’ Honor goes. ‘My chin, my nose, my forehead, my lips’

Honor has been walking around under a bit of a cloud ever since a dude by the name of Jonah – Wesley College, before you... Read more

2 Jun 2023

6mins

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‘What does Patrick Kielty have that I don’t?’ asks the old dear

‘What does Patrick Kielty have that I don’t?’ asks the old dear

There’s no mystery as to why they chose Kielty for the Late Late. He’s not 76 years old. His bodily organs didn’t come f... Read more

26 May 2023

6mins

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The old man is a focking embarrassment at rugby matches

The old man is a focking embarrassment at rugby matches

The old man is on the phone, shouting at me in his usual all-caps voice. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more... Read more

20 May 2023

6mins

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