Leslie Price returns from a months-long investigation to serve as host of America’s only daily news podcast one last time. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Leslie Price returns from a months-long investigation to serve as host of America’s only daily news podcast one last time. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

The Final Episode Of The Topical

Papa John

Hear why PETA is coming to the defense of these over-bread monstrosities that exist for the sole purpose of having fresh tomato paste extracted from their many teat-like protuberances. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hear why PETA is coming to the defense of these over-bread monstrosities that exist for the sole purpose of having fresh tomato paste extracted from their many teat-like protuberances. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

Papa John’s Comes Under Fire For Cruel Treatment Of The Bulbous, Deformed Creatures That Lactate Pizza Sauce

It looks dirty, and it’s doing a weird thing with its wings. Hear why it would be best if you just didn’t go near it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It looks dirty, and it’s doing a weird thing with its wings. Hear why it would be best if you just didn’t go near it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

Scientists Warn Americans To Stay Away From That Bird

Hear why these arborists believe that if the fruit’s on the ground, it’s ready to pound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hear why these arborists believe that if the fruit’s on the ground, it’s ready to pound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

Nation’s Arborists Once Again Urge Congress To Lower The Age Of Consent For Trees

Plus, from royalty to recluse, we’ll sit down with a former prom king who now lives anonymously among the commoners. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Plus, from royalty to recluse, we’ll sit down with a former prom king who now lives anonymously among the commoners. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

Paleontologists Determine Dinosaurs Were Killed By Someone They Trusted

It’s an awe-inspiring scientific advancement, but is it ethical? Hear why critics say these geneticists shouldn’t be playing God on God by making God. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It’s an awe-inspiring scientific advancement, but is it ethical? Hear why critics say these geneticists shouldn’t be playing God on God by making God. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

Team Of Vatican Geneticists Successfully Clone God

Hear why, when they snap their fingers, you will make the sound a donkey makes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hear why, when they snap their fingers, you will make the sound a donkey makes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

Nation’s Hypnotists Announce You Are Now Under Their Command

Hear why authorities now believe the suspect stalked the 4-year-old buck for several hours before shooting him in the chest. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hear why authorities now believe the suspect stalked the 4-year-old buck for several hours before shooting him in the chest. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

Deer Shot By Obsessed Fan

Hear why scrambling DHS officials are calling the missing folder “no big deal,” but they would really like to find it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hear why scrambling DHS officials are calling the missing folder “no big deal,” but they would really like to find it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

Dept. Of Homeland Security: ‘Has Anybody Seen A Blue Folder?’

And they weren’t even playing with it right. Hear why these dead children apparently thought it would be a good idea to ruin the fun for everyone else. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And they weren’t even playing with it right. Hear why these dead children apparently thought it would be a good idea to ruin the fun for everyone else. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

Fun Toy Banned Because Of 3 Stupid Dead Kids

The Topical is the daily podcast from The Onion and Onion Public Radio, and the only podcast brave enough to ask: What if the news had sound effects? Join host Leslie Price each day as he barely scratches the surface of all the day’s top news stories. Journalism isn’t dead. It's using its dying breath to beg you to listen to The Topical. New episodes published every weekday by 5 a.m. Eastern time.

Only 100% reliable source of news these days.

Good show.

Great cast. Funny as hell.

The Topical

Under mounting pressure from anti-gun activists, Walmart has announced that all locations will be restricting firearm purchases to customers who promise to use them at one of the retailer’s competitors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Under mounting pressure from anti-gun activists, Walmart has announced that all locations will be restricting firearm purchases to customers who promise to use them at one of the retailer’s competitors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

Walmart Prevents Gun Violence At Walmart

After discovering he may have contracted Covid-19 from his yoga swami Derek, Leslie Price reflects on his time on Earth as he prepares for the worst. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

After discovering he may have contracted Covid-19 from his yoga swami Derek, Leslie Price reflects on his time on Earth as he prepares for the worst. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

CORONAVIRUS LOCKDOWN DAY FIVE: The Last Will And Testament Of Topical Host Leslie Price

OPR is sheltering in place and podcasting from home. But that won’t stop host Leslie Price from bringing you all the day’s top stories, including why the Son of God’s triumphant second coming may be suspended indefinitely. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

OPR is sheltering in place and podcasting from home. But that won’t stop host Leslie Price from bringing you all the day’s top stories, including why the Son of God’s triumphant second coming may be suspended indefinitely. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

CORONAVIRUS LOCKDOWN DAY ONE: Jesus Christ Cancels Return To Earth Amid Pandemic

A really big one, too. Hear how close NASA officials say the Earth was to total annihilation, and why they are the ones to thank for saving us all. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A really big one, too. Hear how close NASA officials say the Earth was to total annihilation, and why they are the ones to thank for saving us all. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

NASA Announces They Definitely Just Destroyed An Asteroid

It’s a simple procedure you can do at home, and it only takes a few minutes each month. Hear how performing this routine check-up yourself could change your life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It’s a simple procedure you can do at home, and it only takes a few minutes each month. Hear how performing this routine check-up yourself could change your life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

Doctors Encourage More Women To Regularly Perform Breast Self-Exams To See If They Need Implants

His name: Galon the Grotesque. Does this 40-foot goblin from the sewer have what it takes to energize the party’s base and win back the White House? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

His name: Galon the Grotesque. Does this 40-foot goblin from the sewer have what it takes to energize the party’s base and win back the White House? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

A New Democratic Frontrunner Emerges In Iowa

What we now know about the crime scene in Portland, ME that has all the different kinds of cops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What we now know about the crime scene in Portland, ME that has all the different kinds of cops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

An Alarming Crime Scene In New England

It’s the latest attempt to cut down on online abuse among middle and high schoolers. But will it work?  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It’s the latest attempt to cut down on online abuse among middle and high schoolers. But will it work?  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

Anti-Cyberbullying Campaign Encourages Kids To Get Out There And Do It In Person

This puppy’s got all the fixins, too. We’re talking mustard, relish, even hot peppers. But will this all-beef dog be the most advanced encased meat on the battlefield or just another classic example of government waste? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This puppy’s got all the fixins, too. We’re talking mustard, relish, even hot peppers. But will this all-beef dog be the most advanced encased meat on the battlefield or just another classic example of government waste? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

Pentagon Awards Oscar Mayer $102 Million Contract For New Military-Grade Hot Dog

New data show that the virus Covid-19 has become so advanced that it could now mutate into anything or anyone, even someone you trust. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

New data show that the virus Covid-19 has become so advanced that it could now mutate into anything or anyone, even someone you trust. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

CDC Warns Public Of Mutating Coronavirus

Bernie Sanders

A new poll shows the majority of Americans believe the senator’s age could impede him from carrying out the duties of MI6’s most daring spy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A new poll shows the majority of Americans believe the senator’s age could impede him from carrying out the duties of MI6’s most daring spy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

Is Bernie Sanders Too Old To Be The Next James Bond?

His name is Alton, and he’s a 1,200-pound bull moose who’s been described as “charismatic” and “charming” by the NPS. But are their attempts to woo him costing taxpayers millions? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

His name is Alton, and he’s a 1,200-pound bull moose who’s been described as “charismatic” and “charming” by the NPS. But are their attempts to woo him costing taxpayers millions? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

National Park Service Under Fire For Wasting $40 Million To Pamper A Single, Charming Moose

The Creator of Heaven and Earth spoke directly to his followers yesterday by forcing Pope Francis to crab walk on the ceiling of St. Peter’s Basilica. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Creator of Heaven and Earth spoke directly to his followers yesterday by forcing Pope Francis to crab walk on the ceiling of St. Peter’s Basilica. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

God Possesses Pope Francis’s Body, Spins Head Around In Miraculous Sunday Mass

Many within the company are claiming that Tampax CEO Edward Brooks does not know what a period is. Does he know what a period is? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Many within the company are claiming that Tampax CEO Edward Brooks does not know what a period is. Does he know what a period is? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

 Tampax CEO Refuses To Resign Amidst Allegations That He Doesn’t Know What A Period Is

A major announcement in Vatican City as Pope Francis insists that Catholic priests around the world are not about to be out-molested by some goddamned Boy Scouts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A major announcement in Vatican City as Pope Francis insists that Catholic priests around the world are not about to be out-molested by some goddamned Boy Scouts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

Pope Francis: ‘Nobody Out-Molests The Catholic Church’

On this Super Tuesday, Democrats in a number of key states are headed to the polls, but Republicans are outraged. Hear why many on the right are calling the 2020 election nothing more than a partisan witch hunt aimed at unseating the president. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

On this Super Tuesday, Democrats in a number of key states are headed to the polls, but Republicans are outraged. Hear why many on the right are calling the 2020 election nothing more than a partisan witch hunt aimed at unseating the president. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

White House Condemns 2020 Election As Partisan Witch Hunt

The same Russian internet trolls known for interfering with the 2016 election are taking a step back from the mud-slinging, and are committing themselves to only spreading nice lies this time around. But will it work? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The same Russian internet trolls known for interfering with the 2016 election are taking a step back from the mud-slinging, and are committing themselves to only spreading nice lies this time around. But will it work? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

Russia Pledges To Run Completely Positive Disinformation Campaign In 2020

Mike Pence

The vice president is under major scrutiny after a White House whistleblower leaked thousands of Mike Pence’s prayers asking God for political favors.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The vice president is under major scrutiny after a White House whistleblower leaked thousands of Mike Pence’s prayers asking God for political favors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

Who Is The Mike Pence Whistleblower?

Hear why CBS studio executives are calling the decision to order up a full series of long-form ads from the Bloomberg campaign a “no-brainer.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hear why CBS studio executives are calling the decision to order up a full series of long-form ads from the Bloomberg campaign a “no-brainer.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

CBS Inks Deal For 30-Episode Bloomberg Ad 

Last night’s Academy Awards were marred by what might be the Oscars’ worst gaffe in years. Hear how a leaky pipe in the Dolby Theater almost shut down the ceremony for good, and about the superintendent who stepped in to make it all much worse. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Last night’s Academy Awards were marred by what might be the Oscars’ worst gaffe in years. Hear how a leaky pipe in the Dolby Theater almost shut down the ceremony for good, and about the superintendent who stepped in to make it all much worse. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">podcastchoices.com/adchoices</a>

Oscars Ceremony Ruined

The best podcast episodes about true crime. For any thrill seeking podcast listeners who just can't get enough of the captivating stories of murderers and criminals. This topic has all the best episodes from many different true crime podcasts.  Add episodes you're interested into your queue below!

Best True Crime Podcasts

The best podcast episodes on non-current politics. Covering topics such as universal basic income, democracy, poverty & justice and more. For anyone interested in learning more about politics that affect that world, not just now, but in the longer term. Add episodes you're interested into your queue below!