OwlTail

Cover image of Poly Pages

Poly Pages

The Academic Non-Monogamous podcast, reading the texts that have shaped our community and culture. BOOKS! In Season one, Sebastian and Claire are closely reading The Ethical Slut by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton [3rd edition] chapter by chapter, discussing the ideas in an unabridged way, adding extra info where needed, and suggesting extra readings. Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/polypages/support

Weekly hand curated podcast episodes for learning

Popular episodes

All episodes

The best episodes ranked using user listens.

Podcast cover

4 - Slut Styles

Back at it, Sebastian and Claire are still together in Boston because Claire has missed her flight! They talk about all the ways 'sluthood' has been expressed through the ages, and in different subcultures, and in the end, we feel less alone in our difference. We talk about being queer, coming out, and skillfully avoid explaining what pegging is whilst at the same time basically explaining to you what pegging is.    Show Notes  Wild Wild Country is a Netflix documentary series about the ‘guru’ behind the Rajneeshpuram community located in Wasco County, Oregon, and was release on Netflix in March 2018. The Indiewire overview can be read here. Peter Tupper, A Lover's Pinch: A Cultural History of Sadomasochism. Rowman & Littlefield, August 10, 2018. The author was interviewed by Sluts and Scholars in episode 80 available here. Peter also runs his own website called a History of BDSM. Sebastian references Terry Gould, The Lifestyle: a look at the erotic rites of swingers. (Vintage Canada, November 23, 1999.) However, has referred to the wrong war (Vietnam not WWII).  Allure offers a wonderful article on pegging your man, which you can find here. And for those that want to learn how, check out the Pegging 101 live webinar (22 Aug 2019) by Luna Matatas (get tickets here) or ask at your local adult toy store.  Claire was interviewed further on the theme of polyam cross-cultural dating by the Normalizing Non-Monogamy podcast (episode 66) which you can listen to here. Black and Poly can be visited here and is explored more in the next episode. You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages,. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - polypages@gmail.com - for any questions or comments. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/polypages/support

50mins

16 Aug 2019

Rank #1

Podcast cover

7 - Infinite Possibilities

Claire and Sebastian connect long distance to discuss the many different ways we relate to one another.  From monkish celibacy to orgies to multiple life partners, there are so many way to practice intentional relationships it's almost overwhelming. But Claire and Sebastian still find something missing and talk about political anarchy, metamours and the relationship escalator. This episode was our first recorded long-distance with Claire in Cambridge, UK and Sebastian still stateside.  Show Notes: The relationship between Kiney’s infamous ‘X’ category to modern day asexuality is explore by Justin J. Lehmiller (2017) by the The Psychology of Human Sexuality. John Wiley & Sons. Asexual flag as per the Asexual Visibility and Education Network found here. Also see the Trevor Project here. We will not give airtime to discussing this particular sub-section of celibate persons given the recent terror attacks on women. We recommend episode 120 of the podcast Reply All, which cover the history of the ‘InvCEL’ or ‘InCEL’ community. Relationship Anarchy was introduced by Andie Nordgren as a political manifesto. See here. It was also used in 2010 Open Con and in 2013 by Dr Meg-John Barker in her lecture ‘Rewriting the Rules: Non/monogamies’. Solo-poly is outlined well in an article by Polyamory Today on Medium, written by Shannon Ashley and available here. Poly Wanna Podcast discuss the Relationship Escalator in episode 14. For more on the difference between Prescriptive and Descriptive Hierarchy see this fun post by Chelsey Dagger on Polyfor.us Metamour is introduced by Polyamory School on Medium and can be found here. You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages,. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - polypages@gmail.com - for any questions or comments. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/polypages/support

58mins

6 Sep 2019

Rank #2

Similar Podcasts

Podcast cover

8 - Abundance

Claire and Sebastian dive into Part Two of the Ethical Slut, and in Chapter 8 we tackle Abundance. There is more than you need! Unpacking the imagined fear of starvation, we find that sex, love, friendship and support are probably never going run out if we all just chill a little bit. When talking about finite resources such as time, money, space and stuff, we offer some helpful anecdotes about how to navigate and overcome those limitations. And what about sex? The biological limitations of our bodies require us to rework our definition of sex and intimacy. We finish up with our snapshot of the Oneida Community - an original hub of abundant love, support and nurturing.  Show notes The quote from Lynne Twist is taken from her book – The Soul of Money: Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Life, which is reviewed on goodreads.com here. Recommended reading for attachment theory: Understanding Attachment and Attachment Disorders: Theory, Evidence and Practice in Child and Adolescent Mental Health (by Vivien Prior and Danya Glaser, 2006) on Amazon here. NRE is explained wonderfully in the Probably Poly Podcast episode 29.  Tips for safely sharing sex toys can be found here, courtesy of Refinery29.com On the folly of orgasm-centred loving, check out Humans In Love Podcast, episode 3. A beginning to understanding sex after PTSD check out Wear Your Voice. You can check out Oneida House here. You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages,. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - polypages@gmail.com - for any questions or comments. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/polypages/support

53mins

11 Oct 2019

Rank #3

Podcast cover

9 - Slut Skills

In Episode 9, Slut Skills, we look at Hardy and Dossie’s suggested tools for successful relationships. Claire uncovers the philosophical assumptions implied in this chapter, and we suggest some additions to our metaphorical toolbelt – saying sorry, defining words, forgiveness of others, assuming the best. Finishing up, Sebastian sets us all some affirmation-themed homework, and we talk about shame and curiosity. You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages,. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - polypages@gmail.com - for any questions or comments. -- Show Notes Communication as a skill can be developed in many ways. An introduction to active listening and conscious talking is given here. The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate (1992) by Gary Chapman is available on Amazon here.  Zarnitsyn, A. (2015). The Cognitive Value of Fiction in Thought Experiments in Personal Identity. The Journal of Aesthetic Education, 49(2), 62-81. is available here.  Abuse is serious, real and there is support available. For an introduction to gaslighting please see this article by the National Domestic Violence Hotline. If you are affected by these, or fear someone you know is affected, please contact RAINN in the USA, and the National Domestic Violence Hotline in the UK.  For those interested in the theories of causation and emotions, we invite you to read the introduction to theories of emotions available here.  For an introduction into the role of shame in society, we invite you to read Nir, Bina (2018). The individual and society: the social role of shame in the Journal of Philosophical Criticism 1 (2):36-70. Available here. Coria-Avila, Genaro A et al. “The role of orgasm in the development and shaping of partner preferences.” Socioaffective neuroscience & psychology vol. 6 is available here.  --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/polypages/support

1hr

18 Oct 2019

Rank #4

Most Popular Podcasts

Podcast cover

6 - Building a Culture of Consent

**Trigger warning: In this episode we discuss consent in depth as well as violations of consent and different types of trauma. If this is something you aren’t comfortable hearing or thinking about, please don’t listen to this episode. Know that you are not alone, it will get better, and we love you. **  How can we build an intentional culture of consent? In Episode 6, Claire and Sebastian examine some of the barriers to and benefits of building just such a culture. This chapter examines consent not only from the perspective of polyamorous relationships, but also for any relationships and more broadly how to build a community culture of consent. Next, we discuss common reactions to breaches consent and why these are both unproductive and often damaging. Finally, the chapter explores the specific implications of a culture of consent on polyamory and we talk about how to encourage a consenting and open culture. The chapter ends with a vignette on love “Clean love is love without expectation.”  Show notes:  Claire’s suggested guides and readings to help with trauma:  Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation: Skills Training for Patients and Therapists, by Suzette Boon, Onno van der Hart, Kathy Steele  Trust After Trauma - A Guide to Relationships for Survivors and Those Who Love Them, by Aphrodite T. Matsakis  Evicting The Perpetrator: A Male Survivor’s Guide for Recovery from Childhood Sexual Abuse, by Ken Singer  Overcoming Trauma and PTSD - A Workbook Integrating Skills from ACT, DBT, and CBT, by Sheela Raja  You can find iSurvivor by Wondery here.  Learn more about restorative justice in high schools in this article and this report by the WestEd Justice and Prevention Resource Center.  This recent article about Aziz Ansari talks about what happened and where it is at now. Aziz also talks about the situation in his recent Netflix special 'Right Now.' You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages,. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - polypages@gmail.com - for any questions or comments. This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/polypages/support

54mins

30 Aug 2019

Rank #5

Podcast cover

10 - Boundaries

As we dive into the murky waters of Chapter 10, Boundaries, Claire and Sebastian find themselves disappointed. A clear understanding of boundaries is fundamental to your health, happiness and your polyamory, and a hot topic in the community. So listen as our hosts attempt to paint a clear picture of what the authors are trying to say.  You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages,. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - polypages@gmail.com - for any questions or comments. _______ Show notes We strongly encourage you to listen to episode 178 of the Multiamory podcast, found here, in which they cover the basics of boundaries. Also see the short video by Relationship Anarchy here, on the difference between rules and boundaries.  Whilst we speak quickly on BDSM, it is important to note that the word 'boundary' and 'limit' have a specific meaning within kink scene play and negotiation and we do not cover this here. For more on this we suggest Perverted Podcast, found here. This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/polypages/support

52mins

25 Oct 2019

Rank #6

Podcast cover

BONUS - Poly-Hegemonic Masculinities

In this freestanding bonus episode, Claire and Sebastian are joined by special guest co-host Michael Greer to discuss how masculinity is defined and challenged in non-monogamous spaces. In her 2006 article, Sheff explores the ways that polyamorous men, through their emotional expressions and management, are complicit with, subordinate to, and resistant of hegemonic codes of masculinity. But what elements of the hegemonic masculinity complex are carried into poly spaces?  Is emotional labour more egalitarian in non-mono spaces? How does the alpha male work when sexual monogamy is abandoned? Are men more 'woke' if they are poly? And what does all of this mean for the women who love them? Poly-Hegemonic Masculinities by Elisabeth Sheff was first published December 1, 2006. This can be found on Sage Pub here. For more from this author – which is a lot – please see her personal website here. NB: Sheff does not use the terms ‘toxic masculinity’ or ‘prototypical male’ in this article. Your hosts do use these in this episode to refer to different facets of Hegemonic Masculinity. We apologize for the confusion.  You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages,. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - polypages@gmail.com - for any questions or comments. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/polypages/support

1hr 3mins

22 Sep 2019

Rank #7

Podcast cover

5 - Battling Sex Negativity

In Episode 5, Claire and Sebastian enumerate the multiple barriers to safe, positive sexual and romantic relationships. From the lack of legal support for consensual, multiple partner living to the shame we carry inside ourselves. From lack of access to comprehensive family planning, to cultural norms that slut shame and victim blame. It's a cruel world out there. This chapter concludes by discussing Easton and Hardy's through experiment - if sex workers were judged like any other workers - and explain the differences between decriminalization and legalization.  This chapter is prefaced by the end of Episode 4 - a spotlight on Black and Poly (can be visited here). Show Notes Crystal (@crystalbfarmer) was interviewed on the NNM podcast (episode 38) which you can listen to here. Polyam sub-reddit can be accessed here. This edition of the Ethical Slut is informed by Dylan Miles Esq,  mediation and family lawyer who can be found here (although he is not at the time of release, taking on new clients). For DIY legal documents, the publishing company NOLO press. If you are a lawyer or legal academic able and willing to give advise, be featured on a guest episode, or wishing to expand or correct anything we have said on this episode please contact us on polypages@gmail.com. If you are a sex worker, former or current, and are able and willing to give advise, be featured on a guest episode, or wishing to expand or correct anything we have said on this episode please contact us on polypages@gmail.com. We expand on types of CNM in Episode 7 – Slut Styles. Disclaimer – the thought experiment at the end of the episode is led from the chapter and regarding sex work. We acknowledge our language is not politically correct in parts of this and promise this does not come from a place of judgement, hate or disrespect (obviously). You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages,. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - polypages@gmail.com - for any questions or comments. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/polypages/support

50mins

23 Aug 2019

Rank #8

Podcast cover

BONUS - Non-monogamy agreements and safer sex behaviors

In this bonus episode, we are joined by special guest co-host Jenelle Marie Pierce of The STI Project: Breaking the Stigma®, to discuss whether non-monogamy agreements can improve ones perceived sense of sexual self-control, and therefore make us more likely to engage in condom negotiation and use. And boy, do we get in it!  Reading a fantastic article by David L Rodrigues, Diniz Lopes and Terri D. Conley, first published February 13, 2019. This can be found on Taylor & Francis Online here.  You can find more about Jenelle on here instagram @thestiproject, at the Herpes Activist Network (HANDS) and at her current bylines on O.School, SELF, HepatitisC.net, Kinkly, PornHub’s Sexual Wellness Center, and Allure. We also encourage you to check out PositiveSingles.com.  You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - polypages@gmail.com - for any questions or comments. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/polypages/support

1hr 8mins

5 Jan 2020

Rank #9

Podcast cover

BONUS - Polyamory as Identity, Sexual Orientation, or Intimate Practice

In this freestanding bonus episode, Claire and Sebastian are joined by special guest co-host Michael Hagg to discuss whether Polyamory is an identity, intimate practice or sexual orientation. In their 2014  article, Kleese surveys academic and activist discussions on sexual orientation and traces contradictory voices in current debates on polyamory.  While some consider polyamory to be nothing more than a convenient label for their current relationship constellations or a handy tool for communicating their willingness to enter more than one relationship at a time, others claim it as one of their core identities. But is there something political in using sexual orientation language? Could polyamory join the LGBTQIA+ movement? And how much do labels actually help us in the first place? Polyamory: Intimate practice, identity or sexual orientation? by Christian Klesse was first published February 5, 2014. This can be found on Sage Pub here. We also mention another Kleese article in this episode, regarding 'slippery slope' arguments made about polyamory, which can be found here.  To hear more from Michael Haff, we urge you to check out Probably Poly! For more on the Young Poly Carolinas you can see their facebook here, or listen to their Probably Poly guest episode here.  You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - polypages@gmail.com - for any questions or comments. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/polypages/support

59mins

6 Dec 2019

Rank #10