As an empath, we have a heightened sense of other people’s character and their emotions.  As we all have empath power, even if you don’t define yourself as an empath, we have to respect that we all have a gut instinct.  Unfortunately, as we grow up, we often are trained to disregard our instincts.  Instead of accounting for the intangible feelings we have around certain people, we revert to the more objective facets of our interactions with them in order of judging a situation.  Perhaps we are afraid of hurting their feelings or offending them, but instead of staying away or denying these people from being within our proximity, we often accept them.  Whether it’s a business, romantic, or friend relationship, often the result can be disastrous when we ignore our feelings.  Check out today’s episode to learn how to follow your gut and acknowledge the gifts you’ve been given.

As an empath, we have a heightened sense of other people’s character and their emotions. As we all have empath power, even if you don’t define yourself as an empath, we have to respect that we all have a gut instinct. Unfortunately, as we grow up, we often are trained to disregard our instincts. Instead of accounting for the intangible feelings we have around certain people, we revert to the more objective facets of our interactions with them in order of judging a situation. Perhaps we are afraid of hurting their feelings or offending them, but instead of staying away or denying these people from being within our proximity, we often accept them. Whether it’s a business, romantic, or friend relationship, often the result can be disastrous when we ignore our feelings. Check out today’s episode to learn how to follow your gut and acknowledge the gifts you’ve been given.

Follow The Signs (Trust Your Gut)

Once upon a time there was an Indian trader who went to Africa to acquire some local products and animals. In the jungle, he saw many colorful talking parrots. He decided to capture a talking parrot and take him back as a pet. At home in India, he kept his parrot in a cage, he fed him honey and seeds and treated him very well. When it was time for the man to return to Africa, two years later, he asked his parrot if there was any message he could deliver to his friends in the jungle. The parrot told him to convey to his friends that he was very happy in his cage and to pass on his love. When the man arrived in Africa, he delivered the message to the other parrots in the jungle. Just as he finished his story, a parrot with tears welling in his eyes fell over dead. The man was very alarmed but he thought the parrot must have been very close to the parrot in the cage and this was probably the reason for his sadness and death. When the man returned home to India, he told his pet parrot what happened. As he finished his story, the pet parrot’s eyes welled up with tears and he kneeled over dead in his cage. The man was astounded but he figured that his pet died from the grief of hearing the death of his close friend in the jungle. He opened up the cage and tossed the dead bird onto the trash heap. Immediately, the pet parrot flew up to a branch on the tree outside. The trader said to him “So you are not dead after all, why did you do that? You tricked me.” The parrot responded “The bird back in Africa sent me a very important message.” “What was the message?” the man asked. He told me, “If you want to escape from your cage, you must die while you are still alive.”

Once upon a time there was an Indian trader who went to Africa to acquire some local products and animals. In the jungle, he saw many colorful talking parrots. He decided to capture a talking parrot and take him back as a pet. At home in India, he kept his parrot in a cage, he fed him honey and seeds and treated him very well. When it was time for the man to return to Africa, two years later, he asked his parrot if there was any message he could deliver to his friends in the jungle. The parrot told him to convey to his friends that he was very happy in his cage and to pass on his love. When the man arrived in Africa, he delivered the message to the other parrots in the jungle. Just as he finished his story, a parrot with tears welling in his eyes fell over dead. The man was very alarmed but he thought the parrot must have been very close to the parrot in the cage and this was probably the reason for his sadness and death. When the man returned home to India, he told his pet parrot what happened. As he finished his story, the pet parrot’s eyes welled up with tears and he kneeled over dead in his cage. The man was astounded but he figured that his pet died from the grief of hearing the death of his close friend in the jungle. He opened up the cage and tossed the dead bird onto the trash heap. Immediately, the pet parrot flew up to a branch on the tree outside. The trader said to him “So you are not dead after all, why did you do that? You tricked me.” The parrot responded “The bird back in Africa sent me a very important message.” “What was the message?” the man asked. He told me, “If you want to escape from your cage, you must die while you are still alive.”

To Escape Your Cage You Must First Die While You’re Alive

In life it’s easy to be risk averse, especially if you’re an empath.  We fear rejection, failure, and loss so much that we often live in a state of analysis-paralysis, and never actually take a step forward to achieving our dreams or bigger goals in life.  If you’re happy and you know it, then going with the status quo is totally okay – you don’t always have to be reaching for that brass ring.  However, if there are any areas of life in which you feel stagnated, or you’re not as happy as you think you could be, then it’s time to start taking some risks! Follow my blog with Bloglovin

In life it’s easy to be risk averse, especially if you’re an empath.  We fear rejection, failure, and loss so much that we often live in a state of analysis-paralysis, and never actually take a step forward to achieving our dreams or bigger goals in life.  If you’re happy and you know it, then going with the status quo is totally okay – you don’t always have to be reaching for that brass ring.  However, if there are any areas of life in which you feel stagnated, or you’re not as happy as you think you could be, then it’s time to start taking some risks! <a href="https://www.bloglovin.com/blog/20923765/?claim=d4y83zvtwdr" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>

Why You Should Take More Risks

In life we often don’t take time to smell the roses until something negative happens that forces us to actually stop and smell those roses. After the passing of my aunt today I decided it was time to become more introspective and see what lessons I learned from her life and her passing.

In life we often don’t take time to smell the roses until something negative happens that forces us to actually stop and smell those roses. After the passing of my aunt today I decided it was time to become more introspective and see what lessons I learned from her life and her passing.

Crossing Over:  Improving Life Through Death

The law of attraction states that thoughts become things. What you think about, you bring about in your life.  Once you recognize this, you can take control of your life and attract almost anything you desire.  Sounds too easy, doesn’t it?  Today we talk about what the Law of Attraction is, and how it was made popular by the wildly best selling book and DVD, “The Secret”, by Rhonda Byrne.  I’ll share two incredible stories of my own which are so amazing, the odds of these stories happening defy coincidence and very likely are less likely to happen than winning the Powerball lottery!  Prepare to have your mind blown.   Music by @Ikson

The law of attraction states that thoughts become things. What you think about, you bring about in your life.  Once you recognize this, you can take control of your life and attract almost anything you desire.  Sounds too easy, doesn’t it?  Today we talk about what the Law of Attraction is, and how it was made popular by the wildly best selling book and DVD, “The Secret”, by Rhonda Byrne.  I’ll share two incredible stories of my own which are so amazing, the odds of these stories happening defy coincidence and very likely are less likely to happen than winning the Powerball lottery!  Prepare to have your mind blown. Music by @Ikson

Law of Attraction Stories That Will Blow Your Mind

You can improve your life, achieve all of your goals and your dreams if you stop pushing so hard!  Sounds counter-intuitive, doesn’t it?  To achieve your goals, try less?  No of course not!!  Put in the effort at 100%, but work on the 1%.  By accomplishing a one percent change in your life every day, you’ll experience 100% in only three months (give or take a few days).  The one percent solution is broken down into two parts:  1. Taking baby steps to achieve a goal, 1% at a time, and 2. Changing your life 1% a day to live your best life.  Listen to today’s podcast for examples and how to keep changing your life for the better. When we try to achieve a goal, we often go as hard and fast as we can at the beginning, then lose hope when the results don’t show up overnight. Instead, focus on accomplishing one percent of your goal each day.  That way you gradually build upon the previous day’s accomplishment and develop a routine and since you’re actually accomplishing something every day, you will be even more motivated to keep going. The same goes for improving your life one percent at a time.  Make a list of all of the things which are annoyances in your life, or you feel aren’t a positive influence on your day in day out.  Then, every day, make it a goal to eliminate just one single annoyance.  You’ll find every day, you’ll be increasingly happy. Enjoy and don’t forget to Subscribe and sign up for our newsletter.   Music credited to @Ikson

You can improve your life, achieve all of your goals and your dreams if you stop pushing so hard!  Sounds counter-intuitive, doesn’t it?  To achieve your goals, try less?  No of course not!!  Put in the effort at 100%, but work on the 1%.  By accomplishing a one percent change in your life every day, you’ll experience 100% in only three months (give or take a few days).  The one percent solution is broken down into two parts:  1. Taking baby steps to achieve a goal, 1% at a time, and 2. Changing your life 1% a day to live your best life.  Listen to today’s podcast for examples and how to keep changing your life for the better. When we try to achieve a goal, we often go as hard and fast as we can at the beginning, then lose hope when the results don’t show up overnight. Instead, focus on accomplishing one percent of your goal each day.  That way you gradually build upon the previous day’s accomplishment and develop a routine and since you’re actually accomplishing something every day, you will be even more motivated to keep going. The same goes for improving your life one percent at a time.  Make a list of all of the things which are annoyances in your life, or you feel aren’t a positive influence on your day in day out.  Then, every day, make it a goal to eliminate just one single annoyance.  You’ll find every day, you’ll be increasingly happy. Enjoy and don’t forget to Subscribe and sign up for our newsletter. Music credited to @Ikson

The 1% Solution

Do you find it hard to be assertive in life?  Perhaps when you need to speak up the most, you sit in silence, pissed off, only later to wonder why you didn’t stand up for yourself when you had the chance. Especially for empaths, we are averse to conflict and avoid it at any cost, and therefore stay silent when we shouldn’t.  It might seem better to avoid standing up for yourself, but I’ve found that it is actually healthier to speak up.  While I also used to afraid of conflict since the negative energy would affect me, over the years I’ve gradually found my voice and started speaking my mind much more.  Not only did it NOT result in conflict, but instead, I found people who would otherwise be my adversaries, start to respect me, and apologize. To become successful in life you are going to have to learn to build your confidence and one of the best building blocks means speaking up for yourself.  Today’s podcast is about finding your voice and speaking your mind.  Instead of being insulted, and then going home to ruminate over why you didn’t defend yourself, start becoming more reactive and fearless.  It takes practice.  Lots of practice!  With a few small adjustments, and a baby steps however, you too can find your voice and become the person on the outside that you already are, on the inside. To become successful in life you are going to have to learn to build your confidence and one of the best building blocks means speaking up for yourself.

Do you find it hard to be assertive in life?  Perhaps when you need to speak up the most, you sit in silence, pissed off, only later to wonder why you didn’t stand up for yourself when you had the chance. Especially for empaths, we are averse to conflict and avoid it at any cost, and therefore stay silent when we shouldn’t.  It might seem better to avoid standing up for yourself, but I’ve found that it is actually healthier to speak up.  While I also used to afraid of conflict since the negative energy would affect me, over the years I’ve gradually found my voice and started speaking my mind much more.  Not only did it NOT result in conflict, but instead, I found people who would otherwise be my adversaries, start to respect me, and apologize. To become successful in life you are going to have to learn to build your confidence and one of the best building blocks means speaking up for yourself.  Today’s podcast is about finding your voice and speaking your mind.  Instead of being insulted, and then going home to ruminate over why you didn’t defend yourself, start becoming more reactive and fearless.  It takes practice.  Lots of practice!  With a few small adjustments, and a baby steps however, you too can find your voice and become the person on the outside that you already are, on the inside. To become successful in life you are going to have to learn to build your confidence and one of the best building blocks means speaking up for yourself.

How To Be Assertive And Find Your Voice

Have you ever witnessed the career or life of a friend, colleague, or stranger and wondered if you should be “trying harder”, or “doing more” in life?  Recently, I was thinking about some of my friends.  The ones from undergrad, spent years in their government jobs and have climbed to the highest levels, from being trade commissioners, to ambassadors.  The friends from MBA have stayed in banking and have become VPs, hedge fund managers, and climbed pretty high on the investment banking industry.  Finally, my friends from law school have stayed at their jobs and become partners at fairly significant law firms. Although I feel like I’ve accomplished a lot, it made me wonder, whether I should have just stayed in one industry, and one job.  The more I thought about it though, the more I know it correctly.  Too often things like titles, look pretty on paper, but we overlook the years of stress, hard work, and unhappiness that goes into these job titles, which at the end of the day, don’t mean a hell of a lot because they can be taken away from you. Titles are nice, but what about your life?  How many adventures have you been on?  Are you waiting to retire to finally pursue your dream business or dream trip?  Well here’s some news for you: you may never retire. Pensions aren’t what they were. Also, as you get older, you may not be able to do all of those exciting things that you can do when you’re younger. Instead of waiting until the end of your life to start living, in today’s podcast, we’ll talk about living life in reverse – retire along the way, and fulfill your bucket list items today.  You never know, tomorrow may never come.   Music by @Ikson

Have you ever witnessed the career or life of a friend, colleague, or stranger and wondered if you should be “trying harder”, or “doing more” in life?  Recently, I was thinking about some of my friends.  The ones from undergrad, spent years in their government jobs and have climbed to the highest levels, from being trade commissioners, to ambassadors.  The friends from MBA have stayed in banking and have become VPs, hedge fund managers, and climbed pretty high on the investment banking industry.  Finally, my friends from law school have stayed at their jobs and become partners at fairly significant law firms. Although I feel like I’ve accomplished a lot, it made me wonder, whether I should have just stayed in one industry, and one job.  The more I thought about it though, the more I know it correctly.  Too often things like titles, look pretty on paper, but we overlook the years of stress, hard work, and unhappiness that goes into these job titles, which at the end of the day, don’t mean a hell of a lot because they can be taken away from you. Titles are nice, but what about your life?  How many adventures have you been on?  Are you waiting to retire to finally pursue your dream business or dream trip?  Well here’s some news for you: you may never retire. Pensions aren’t what they were. Also, as you get older, you may not be able to do all of those exciting things that you can do when you’re younger. Instead of waiting until the end of your life to start living, in today’s podcast, we’ll talk about living life in reverse – retire along the way, and fulfill your bucket list items today.  You never know, tomorrow may never come. Music by @Ikson

Living Life In Reverse

As empaths, we are naturally averse to conflict.  Because of our sensitivities, we find ourselves staying silent when we should speak up, even if it means getting screwed over.  We are so afraid of getting into an argument and having our energies drained, that we let ourselves get ripped off on lots of things like fraudulent billing by big companies, to letting regular customers at our own businesses take advantage of us.  But because we can’t stand conflict, we often let ourselves get steamrolled, and then spend our time being frustrated with ourselves for not having had the courage to stand up when we had the chance.  The time to make that change is now. Start fighting for yourself and being your biggest advocate.  In reality if you don’t advocate for yourself then no one else will.  Stop putting everyone else’s feelings ahead of your own and start taking some risks with pushing back on situations that are unfair to you.  What I’ve found is that when you start standing up for yourself, the Universe will stand right behind you in moving things around in a way that will work in your favor.  Do you think it’s a waste of time to spend half a day fighting that unfair $50 parking ticket?  It may seem like it’s not worth the hassle, but what you’ll find is that the more stand up for yourself, the less you’ll have to in the future as unfair situations will stop being attracted to you.  Listen to the end of the podcast to see a realtime example of how the law of attraction works for you in these situations!

As empaths, we are naturally averse to conflict.  Because of our sensitivities, we find ourselves staying silent when we should speak up, even if it means getting screwed over.  We are so afraid of getting into an argument and having our energies drained, that we let ourselves get ripped off on lots of things like fraudulent billing by big companies, to letting regular customers at our own businesses take advantage of us.  But because we can’t stand conflict, we often let ourselves get steamrolled, and then spend our time being frustrated with ourselves for not having had the courage to stand up when we had the chance.  The time to make that change is now. Start fighting for yourself and being your biggest advocate.  In reality if you don’t advocate for yourself then no one else will.  Stop putting everyone else’s feelings ahead of your own and start taking some risks with pushing back on situations that are unfair to you.  What I’ve found is that when you start standing up for yourself, the Universe will stand right behind you in moving things around in a way that will work in your favor.  Do you think it’s a waste of time to spend half a day fighting that unfair $50 parking ticket?  It may seem like it’s not worth the hassle, but what you’ll find is that the more stand up for yourself, the less you’ll have to in the future as unfair situations will stop being attracted to you.  Listen to the end of the podcast to see a realtime example of how the law of attraction works for you in these situations!

How To Be Your Own Advocate

On this podcast, we talk a lot about stress and how it is quietly and slowly, killing you. There’s a great book I was reading called “The Stress Solution”, by Rangan Chatterjee.  In today’s podcast, I’ll discuss the book, and how our bodies are experiencing daily micro-stress-doses which are affecting our mental and physical health.  It’s not secret that stress is going to send you to an early grave, however it’s important to learn why we react the way we do to certain things in life so we can stop ourselves before reacting.  Experience stress was actually a natural response to save yourself from a predator many years ago when we were cavemen/women.  Our adrenaline would pump, our blood would flow faster, so we could take fight or flight – run from a predator, or be prepared to fight it.  Unfortunately, with all of the daily routines we have that stress us out, we are experiencing stress multiple times every day instead of just once a month.  The cumulative effect of constantly reacting as though a predator is chasing you is the equivalent to the predator actually killing you. Music by @Ikson

On this podcast, we talk a lot about stress and how it is quietly and slowly, killing you. There’s a great book I was reading called “The Stress Solution”, by Rangan Chatterjee.  In today’s podcast, I’ll discuss the book, and how our bodies are experiencing daily micro-stress-doses which are affecting our mental and physical health.  It’s not secret that stress is going to send you to an early grave, however it’s important to learn why we react the way we do to certain things in life so we can stop ourselves before reacting.  Experience stress was actually a natural response to save yourself from a predator many years ago when we were cavemen/women.  Our adrenaline would pump, our blood would flow faster, so we could take fight or flight – run from a predator, or be prepared to fight it.  Unfortunately, with all of the daily routines we have that stress us out, we are experiencing stress multiple times every day instead of just once a month.  The cumulative effect of constantly reacting as though a predator is chasing you is the equivalent to the predator actually killing you. Music by @Ikson

Micro Stress Doses Are Killing You

A truly excellent podcast! I gleaned a lot of insight from this. Will listen to it more than once. Thanks so much!

Excellent podcast

This is the best advice I have ever received.  I usually struggle in my daily life dealing with difficult people and trying not to let them wear me down.  These podcasts from AB3 are awesome!  Always great tips on things to implement in your daily life to find true happiness.

Amazing insight!

The Everglow | My Life As An Empath

Are you affected by other people’s emotions?  Do you find yourself feeling tired and drained after speaking to certain people?  You might be an empath.  If you’re a highly sensitive person, then you are very attuned to the energy from other people.  You have to be careful with this gift as the wrong people may know this about you and take advantage by trying to give you their negative energy so you can suffer for them.  We will discuss how to identify yourself as an empath, and steps you can take to protect yourself from negative people who target you for your gifts.

Are you affected by other people’s emotions?  Do you find yourself feeling tired and drained after speaking to certain people?  You might be an empath.  If you’re a highly sensitive person, then you are very attuned to the energy from other people.  You have to be careful with this gift as the wrong people may know this about you and take advantage by trying to give you their negative energy so you can suffer for them.  We will discuss how to identify yourself as an empath, and steps you can take to protect yourself from negative people who target you for your gifts.

Signs That You May Be An Empath

Did you ever ask yourself why you’ve ever suffered despite having done everything right?  After having an ultra-stressful week thanks to certain bottom-feeding scumbags that I had mistakenly allowed into my business circle, I had an epiphany that I would like to share with you.  Fortunately it only took me three decades to get to this conclusion, but it’s an important one.  If you’ve been experiencing any suffering whatsoever, I urge you to read on so that you can start feeling good again, take control of your feelings, and live an amazing life free from pain. I’ll start with my own story.  Generally, I’ve always done things right in life.  I was born with intelligence and logic.  In addition to that, I spent years in school, always at the top of my class, never getting into trouble.  I always follow the law, have never been charged with a crime, and have never even received a speeding ticket in my entire life.  Financially, I am very conservative with my money and save well.  On the health side, I exercise regularly, and eat an ultra-clean diet, low in meats yet high in proteins and necessary nutrients – I have a clean bill of health.  I’m close with my parents and have a group of amazing friends.   Despite all of this, I have found that there has been suffering in my life.  When I say “suffering”, I’m referring to any pain, anguish or stress – basically any negative feelings – that I have felt.  I realized there was a clear disconnect as this equation didn’t make sense.  It didn’t make sense that I experienced suffering when I was doing everything “right”.  I had to get to the bottom of this conundrum. Don’t get me wrong.  My life is amazing and always has been.  I’m certainly not here to paint a bleak picture – I’ve travelled the world, was raised very well, and have lived a privileged life.  More importantly, I’ve never been one to live a “glass half-empty” kind of life, ever.  When things have gone wrong, I’ve always blamed myself because at the end of the day, even if someone else screws me over, my thought process is that it was my fault for letting them do so in the first place.  But wanting more answers, I decided to figure out what exactly was the problem, so that I could find a solution and live an even better life.  Enough was enough.    PROBLEM I found the problem right away:  I was suffering because of other people and for other people.   Blame-game time.   Rarely, almost never in fact, was I feeling pain because of my own unilateral actions.  As a child, my suffering was caused by bullies at school who belittled me because of my skin color.  At home, I suffered without even realizing it, as I had a family member that experienced depression for years.  Even though the bullying ended around the age of eight, there was still pain thanks to the household situation.  In latter years, a crazy girlfriend with her own issues would cause suffering.  Now, as an attorney, I unfortunately found suffering all around me on a daily basis with overbearing clients trying to impose their poor life decisions on me not by simply hiring me to do legal work, but  by wanting me to emotionally share in their grief.  The final straw most recently was another attorney (not sure how he even has a license given his stupidity) who has spent his life making mistakes and yet blaming everyone else for his own incompetency and failures, desperately trying to draw innocent bystanders into his internal chaos.  I call him “Mr. It’s Not My Fault”. For someone like me who is hyper-sensitive to people’s energies, these things are so emotionally draining and painful, that I found myself experiencing some form of suffering on a regular basis.  Because it happened so gradually, I never took an opportunity to realize what was going on.  As we adapt, feeling these negative emotions just became part of the job, or part of life, and I accepted it.  Until now. What’s the point in “doing everything right” in life, if we have to suffer?  There is no point!  But yet, we often have to feel pain due to other people not doing everything right.  If someone else makes a bad decision they try their hardest to pull people into their suffering.  The really intelligent sufferers are very skilled at knowing who they can latch onto so they can actually dump their pain energy onto that person, so that you suffer while they carry on their merry way.  The problem with these kinds of people is that they are unknowingly master manipulators, always trying to bring other people down to bolster themselves up.  The other problem with these people is that they are always getting into problems!  Rarely are their issues isolated.  More often than not, if you look at their history, they have left a trail of bodies behind them and continue to do so:  poor family relationships, no close friends, ex-friends that hate their guts, ex-coworkers that want nothing to do with them, legal troubles…you name it.  And yet, in their eyes, everything happened to them, and none of it was their fault.   CASE STUDY Let’s use a psychotic legal client I had the displeasure of knowing in my legal practice.  She has made a history of burning bridges with almost everyone she has ever met.  In her bizarre mind, everything is everyone else’s fault – her husband left her because he was a jerk.  Her own daughter didn’t want to live with her and went to live with her dad (the ex-husband).  Then to top it all off, this client had voluntarily chosen not to work (not because of any disability or inability, just by choice), in nine years.  Finally, she had refused to pay her surprisingly small mortgage payment to the bank in something like four years – it was a miracle the bank let her stay in the house that long.   Despite all of this however, in her mind everything was always everyone else’s fault.  Her husband divorcing her was because he was the bad guy, not because she had pushed him away with her intolerable behavior.  Her own daughter leaving her was not because she was overbearing or hell to live with, but because the husband brainwashed her (daughter) into leaving.  She had no friends because her friends are the crazy ones, not her.  And in typical blame-game fashion, her house was in foreclosure because of me, and not because she was too lazy to get a job and pay her mortgage.   Yes, you read that right.  She hadn’t made a mortgage payment in four years, the bank wanted their house back, and somehow, that was my fault, even though I had just met her. Then as icing on the cake, even though I was the one that cleared my precious weekend schedule to prepare and file her case to save her home at her request, and even though I ultimately saved the home and she stiffed me on payment, she accused me of putting her into this mess.  Think I’m leaving anything out?  Nope.  She was just crazy, literally.  She didn’t need a lawyer, she needed a psychologist and likely a psychiatrist. What was really happening?  This had nothing to do with me or her case.  She was trying to make me suffer for her.  Mentally, she is someone in constant pain mode or suffering mode.  She tries to find people who she can vent on, who will endure her suffering for her, so that she doesn’t have to.  Because of my sympathetic personality, she knew right away she could target me to try to shoulder the blame of her poor life decisions and her obvious mental problems.  And for one night, I suffered for her…and then I said NO MORE.   SOLUTION:  HOW TO STOP SUFFERING FOR OTHER PEOPLE STAY AWAY from these people.  Now.   Run.  Don’t look back.  Don’t reply to that text message.  Block their phone number.  Send their emails to the spam folders.  It is your God-given right to choose you let into your life.  Practice emphatically saying NO. By saying “NO” to people’s behaviors, they will learn that you won’t tolerate their emotional abuse or be a receptacle  to do an emotional drive-by on you and make you suffer on their behalf.  There is nothing forcing you to have to listen to or take on other people’s problems.  Nothing.  It is an illusion that you have to change if you think you have an obligation “to be nice” by entertaining the things people try to impute on you.  The only one who will lose is you.  Every time. Now I know what some of you are thinking.  I’m being overly militant, too extreme in cutting off everything that is going through something.  What about a friend or family member going through a hard time who needs help?  You’re probably thinking that you need to be there for them and support them or counsel them through a tough time.  And of course, you do.  Let’s be clear here and make the distinction as I’m not suggesting you turn your back on a child or friend in need.  Allow me to explain. There is a marked difference between someone who is trying to make you suffer with them versus someone who needs a shoulder to lean on.  How does one discern the difference?  I’m about to get somewhat metaphysical on you in this explanation.  SIGNS THEY’RE TRYING TO MAKE YOU SUFFER FOR THEM When someone is trying to make you suffer it will be obvious now that you’re starting to awaken yourself to this phenomenon.  For one, you’ll feel it in your body when you’re around someone trying to make you suffer because you’ll start feeling stress, anxiety, and pain while they’re venting on you.  Your body will tense up, and you’ll feel as though you are the one physically and emotionally experiencing the negativity of the problem that they’re describing to you!!!!   Secondly, the conversations with these people will rarely be rational or based on any logic.  As you monitor your dialogue with these people, you’ll find they are not listening to anything you’re saying, but moreso just engaged in a monologue with you at the other end.  Another facet of these emotional drive-bys, are that the speaker never takes any responsibility – everything is everyone else’s fault.  Your friend John calls you to yell about getting arrested for a DUI but he complains about how it’s the bartenders fault for serving him too much alcohol.  Or it’s the cops fault for pulling him over.    Thirdly, the people that are trying to make you suffer will often argue with you, unnecessarily.  Even though they called you for help or you are their “friend”, they are trying to desperately start a fight with anyone they can, even if it’s you.  If you can get a word in edge-wise, they’ll start sparring and arguing with you even when you’re offering helpful suggestions.  Everything you say will be wrong.  Suddenly you’re the enemy.  Now you’re fighting with them in a two hour conversation with your ears steaming and you have a headache.  Meanwhile, they’re loving it.  They got to you and you are officially suffering for them.  They want other people to suffer for them and with them.   While listening to these people, you’ll feel as though their problem is actually your problem even though your life is going great!  This is because they are purposely transferring their negative energy to you and you are accepting it into your life.  This is where the needless suffering begins.  I promise you, suffering for someone does not improve their situation – it only hurts you.  On the other hand, you’ll know if you’re dealing with someone who genuinely needs advice or a shoulder to lean on during a difficult time because when you’re talking with them, you won’t feel any of those negative emotions described above, such as stress or anxiety.  While your friend is telling you about his girlfriend breaking up with him, there will be rationality to the discussion and a back and forth dialogue.  Your body will feel relatively calm, and although you may feel sympathy or empathy, you won’t feel negative emotions.     Listen to your body while you’re interacting with these people – do you tense up or feel like hanging up because you can’t handle their drama?  I’ve had so many clients over the years in my legal practice that I can’t count how many times I wanted to throw my phone into the ocean to escape the drama these people were spewing to me, even though I was the one helping them!  But yet there I stayed with the phone glued to my ear feeling obliged to listen and absorb, my hands sometimes shaking, and my body feeling the effects of their private hell because  I let myself be the easy target.  The only one that lost was me.   WHAT ABOUT FAMILY &amp; FRIENDS So what do you do if the offender is someone very close to you to whom  you have a moral duty or obligation? Certainly you can’t just turn your back on them.  I’m here to tell you that while you may not want to turn your back on them, you can still say NO, to the way they behave so that you put them in a position so that you can in fact help them. By saying “NO” to certain behavior something interesting happens with these people, at least with how they treat you.  They become more obedient and respectful of you.  Instead of them conditioning you to absorb their hell, you actually condition them as to what your barriers are, and what you will tolerate.  Remember, this is your life, so you set the boundaries.  People will ultimately treat you as bad as you let them.   When someone is acting crazy around you, walk-away.  Don’t be afraid to tell them they’re acting irrationally.  Now it’s your turn to make it a monologue instead of a dialogue.  I’ve often found treating people as they treat you often confuses them and takes them off course.  Let them know in no uncertain terms that you’d love to help them out, but that you’re not interested in talking with them until they calm down.  Remember though, these people often want to fight anyone so do not let them use your statements as an invitation to debate.   As an example, after telling your friend to calm down, he replies: “How can you say that!!!!!!  Don’t ever say that to me, I’m totally calm I just am getting screwed over by everyone and the world is against me!!!!!!!!  How dare you say I’m acting irrationally, I’m going through a tough time and my life is hell and you’d never understand!!!!!!!!  You’re such an asshole!!” Your reply should never be to justify your remarks or to debate whether he’s really acting irrationally.  In doing this he or she is desperately trying to draw you in.  Don’t fall for it.  Walk away.  Turn around and walk away.  You can simply tell them you’re not able to speak to them right now and that maybe you can talk later.  If you engage with them, it will never end, I assure you.  But by taking control of the situation and saying “no” in whatever manner you can, you will gain respect.  When they do communicate with you later, you will hopefully find that they will be more respectful and calm so that you have actually put them in a position where they can now receive your help instead of giving you’re their problems and suffering. And that is how you help someone to whom you have some sort of moral obligation. CLOSING This is going to take practice for all of us, but I am confident that this will absolutely improve the quality of your life over the short and long-run.  If you look back on your life and find that the pain and suffering you’ve endured has been at the hands of others, or because of other people’s problems and not yours, then you need to take action, now.  Every time you feel stress, you’re affecting your health and your long-term survival. A big problem that I had and that perhaps many of you people-pleasers have is that we are afraid to say no.  We don’t walk away when we want to walk away.  We don’t hang up the phone when we probably should, staying on the line as though we’re magically tethered by some imaginary cord.  We are so worried about what the other person may think even though they are damaging us, that we wait for their storm to end so that they don’t feel insulted.  Basically this comes down to self-worth because you are putting the needs of someone else above yours with absolutely no benefit to you.  I want you to read this carefully: NO ONE HAS A GUN TO YOUR HEAD. No one is forcing you to absorb their suffering.  No one should be able to force you to be in a situation you don’t want to be in.  Are you worried a sufferer is going to sue you because you didn’t feel like putting up with their nonsense?  You shouldn’t be.   If you say no and turn your back on someone or hang up a telephone to preserve your sanity, are you worried that person will never speak to you again?  If that is how they would behave then you don’t want someone like that in your life in the first place.  Clear out the clutter and filter these people from your life. At the end of the day, it is you and you alone that has to take responsibility for your own life.  Other people shouldn’t be controlling whether they can come in and out of your life – it is you that should be deciding who you let in and who goes out.   It’s not your home that is your castle.  It is your mind that is your castle.  Your mind should be a peaceful sanctuary and in that regard your peace of mind is your actual castle.  Allowing others to be emotional terrorists in your life is absolutely no different than letting someone break into your house and ransack it, while you just sit on the sofa patiently waiting for them to leave so you can pick up the pieces afterwards.  Stop paying for other people’s mistakes and problems by suffering.  Once you let an emotional terrorist in, they’ll keep coming back to you as long as you put up with it, and their behavior usually gets worse and worse. There is no time like the present to make these changes to your life.  For me, I am now diligently practicing what I am preaching to you.  I completely ignore certain people that try so desperately to tangle with me and make me feel their pain.  Because I’ve blocked them from my life via phone, e-mail and even social media, they can no longer access me if they tried.  Since I’ve done so, I’ve felt more peace than I have in years.  Much of that peace also comes from my increasing confidence in saying “no” to people without concern for what they may think.  While it certainly infuriates that select few, I’m proud to say that I couldn’t care less.  For others, like the lady facing the foreclosure, because I’ve made quite clear that she cannot communicate with me unless she is willing to speak in a civil manner and take responsibility for her own actions, she has now miraculously become extremely humble and respectful when she does contact me.   Believe me, certain people want so desperately for you to lower yourself to the dirt in which lay they as they want you to get dirty with them.  It is my responsibility to make sure I stay high level in all aspects of my life.  For your own prosperity, it is also your responsibility.  Next time you feel anything negative or feel any sort of suffering, ask yourself who caused it?  If it was by your own doing, that’s one thing.  But if on the other hand you find your conflicts are born because of other people, now is the time to cut them out of your life.   This is your life so don’t let other people live your life on their terms.  After all, what’s the point of doing things right in life, if you’re going to end up suffering from other people’s wrongs?

E.T. The Emotional Terrorist | How To Deal With Difficult People |

One of the best parts of traveling is the people you meet along the way. In just a few days, you can form friendships and bonds with other travelers that are deeper and stronger than with friends you have back home whom you’ve known for years. During my trip through Central Asia, I met Mark, who I decided to nickname “Dally”, since he was from Dallas, Texas. When I travel, I often call people by the city or place they’re from since it’s easier to remember. Dally and I became good friends as we explored Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan, and Uzbekistan. As a fellow traveler who has visited 100 countries, today I have invited him on the show to discuss our love of travel, and some of the misadventures and exciting things that have happened along the way. From muggings in Rio de Janeiro Brazil, to almost drowning in a Turkish bathhouse, we cover it all.   Join us, won’t you? Don’t forget to subscribe on iTunes for regular updates.  You can check out some of my travel videos on my YouTube channel by clicking HERE! Music by @ikson

One of the best parts of traveling is the people you meet along the way. In just a few days, you can form friendships and bonds with other travelers that are deeper and stronger than with friends you have back home whom you’ve known for years. During my trip through Central Asia, I met Mark, who I decided to nickname “Dally”, since he was from Dallas, Texas. When I travel, I often call people by the city or place they’re from since it’s easier to remember. Dally and I became good friends as we explored Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan, and Uzbekistan. As a fellow traveler who has visited 100 countries, today I have invited him on the show to discuss our love of travel, and some of the misadventures and exciting things that have happened along the way. From muggings in Rio de Janeiro Brazil, to almost drowning in a Turkish bathhouse, we cover it all.   Join us, won’t you? Don’t forget to subscribe on iTunes for regular updates.  You can check out some of my travel videos on my YouTube channel by clicking <a href="http://youtube.com/travelteez" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE!</a> Music by @ikson

Travel (mis)Adventures With Dally From Dallas

Have you ever wanted to run away from life?  In 2015 I was feeling so overwhelmed that I fled the country and ran away from being a lawyer! I told no one where I was going and fled to Thailand to be alone and save myself from having a breakdown. It was one of the best things I had ever done.  I went to Bali, Indonesia, then Chiang Mai, Thailand, and finally Calcutta, India for a month and told no one.  In this podcast I’ll share what I did, I’ll talk about the awesome travellers I met, and the life changing lessons I learned along the way.  Most people say you should always confront your problems and have the courage to keep getting up when you get knocked down.  They’re wrong.  I learned that one of the best things you can do for your mental health is to run away from your problems and find happiness elsewhere.  I did and it worked out great!   As promised, here is the video of the morning after I arrived in Bali.  I felt the weight of the world had lifted off of my shoulders in this moment.    Also, here are random photos from my trip through Chiang Mai (and a few from Bali).  Sometimes it’s fun listening to the narrative of someone’s journey and then seeing the actual photos.     View from Green Tiger Vegetarian House in Chiang Mai  Another view of my room while in Chiang Mai  A cat cafe in Chiang Mai.  Long philosophical talks with my friend Shivaun.  Motorbiking through the Samoeng Loop.  Riding the Samoeng Loop in Chiang Mai  Hanging with new friends and the owner at the Green Tiger Vegetarian House  One of the many night markets in Chiang Mai  Awesome food at the night market!  This baby elephant was so cute.  It was fun feeding them!  Fun with new friends on the way to the elephant sanctuary.  Giving elephants a mud bath.  Fun in the stream with the elephant!  Delicious breakfasts every morning.  Fish eating my dead skin  Foot massage. She wasn’t impressed.  Even the cats had fun.  Life advice that the Universe puts in front of you at the right time  The moat around the city walls.  Kuta Beach in Bali  First stop was Bali! Rice terrace while drinking coffee.  Volcano in Bali  First stop: BALI    Stick around to listen to the end of the video. I recorded the podcast almost five years after this video and hadn’t watched it until just now. Even back then in a euphoric state, I had reached the same conclusion: that it’s okay to run away from your problems.

Have you ever wanted to run away from life?  In 2015 I was feeling so overwhelmed that I fled the country and ran away from being a lawyer! I told no one where I was going and fled to Thailand to be alone and save myself from having a breakdown. It was one of the best things I had ever done.  I went to Bali, Indonesia, then Chiang Mai, Thailand, and finally Calcutta, India for a month and told no one.  In this podcast I’ll share what I did, I’ll talk about the awesome travellers I met, and the life changing lessons I learned along the way.  Most people say you should always confront your problems and have the courage to keep getting up when you get knocked down.  They’re wrong.  I learned that one of the best things you can do for your mental health is to run away from your problems and find happiness elsewhere.  I did and it worked out great! As promised, here is the video of the morning after I arrived in Bali.  I felt the weight of the world had lifted off of my shoulders in this moment. Also, here are random photos from my trip through Chiang Mai (and a few from Bali).  Sometimes it’s fun listening to the narrative of someone’s journey and then seeing the actual photos. <ul> <li> <a href="https://neilbhartia.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/DSC02249-scaled.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>View from Green Tiger Vegetarian House in Chiang Mai </li> <li> <a href="https://neilbhartia.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/DSC02247-scaled.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>Another view of my room while in Chiang Mai </li> <li> <a href="https://neilbhartia.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/DSC02314-scaled.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>A cat cafe in Chiang Mai. </li> <li> <a href="https://neilbhartia.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/DSC02351-scaled.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>Long philosophical talks with my friend Shivaun. </li> <li> <a href="https://neilbhartia.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/DSC02367-scaled.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>Motorbiking through the Samoeng Loop. </li> <li> <a href="https://neilbhartia.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/IMG-20151204-WA0002.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>Riding the Samoeng Loop in Chiang Mai </li> <li> <a href="https://neilbhartia.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/IMG-20151207-WA0016.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>Hanging with new friends and the owner at the Green Tiger Vegetarian House </li> <li> <a href="https://neilbhartia.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/DSC02403-scaled.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>One of the many night markets in Chiang Mai </li> <li> <a href="https://neilbhartia.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/DSC02423-scaled.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>Awesome food at the night market! </li> <li> <a href="https://neilbhartia.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/DSC02456-scaled.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>This baby elephant was so cute. </li> <li> <a href="https://neilbhartia.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/DSC02486-scaled.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>It was fun feeding them! </li> <li> <a href="https://neilbhartia.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/DSC02544-scaled.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>Fun with new friends on the way to the elephant sanctuary. </li> <li> <a href="https://neilbhartia.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/12374983_597445477078140_7584495878081409141_o.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>Giving elephants a mud bath. </li> <li> <a href="https://neilbhartia.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/12322501_597452323744122_3210596567361010634_o.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>Fun in the stream with the elephant! </li> <li> <a href="https://neilbhartia.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/20151201_093456-scaled.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>Delicious breakfasts every morning. </li> <li> <a href="https://neilbhartia.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/DSC02583-scaled.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>Fish eating my dead skin </li> <li> <a href="https://neilbhartia.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/20151205_143438-scaled.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>Foot massage. She wasn’t impressed. </li> <li> <a href="https://neilbhartia.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/DSC02564-scaled.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>Even the cats had fun. </li> <li> <a href="https://neilbhartia.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/20151208_141449-scaled.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>Life advice that the Universe puts in front of you at the right time </li> <li> <a href="https://neilbhartia.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/DSC02571-scaled.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>The moat around the city walls. </li> <li> <a href="https://neilbhartia.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/20151122_071608-scaled.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>Kuta Beach in Bali </li> <li> <a href="https://neilbhartia.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/DSC01945-scaled.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>First stop was Bali! Rice terrace while drinking coffee. </li> <li> <a href="https://neilbhartia.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/DSC01976-scaled.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>Volcano in Bali </li> <li> <a href="https://neilbhartia.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/DSC01988-scaled.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>First stop: BALI </li> </ul> Stick around to listen to the end of the video. I recorded the podcast almost five years after this video and hadn’t watched it until just now. Even back then in a euphoric state, I had reached the same conclusion: that it’s okay to run away from your problems.

That Time I Ran From The Law And Fled to Chiang Mai Thailand

As an empath or sensitive person, do you find yourself always taking on other people’s problems?  I don’t mind just listening to their problems; I mean you actually mentally and emotionally bear the burden of other people’s problems as if they were your own!  You find yourself stressed, anxious, and tired. Depending on the time of job you have, your personality and shouldering other people’s problems all of the time can crush you. Today I discuss how to separate how you can be involved in helping solve a problem without bearing the weight of that person’s problem.  Ultimately, it will help you live more peaceful when you realize that it is not your job to be responsible for other people’s problems.

As an empath or sensitive person, do you find yourself always taking on other people’s problems?  I don’t mind just listening to their problems; I mean you actually mentally and emotionally bear the burden of other people’s problems as if they were your own!  You find yourself stressed, anxious, and tired. Depending on the time of job you have, your personality and shouldering other people’s problems all of the time can crush you. Today I discuss how to separate how you can be involved in helping solve a problem without bearing the weight of that person’s problem.  Ultimately, it will help you live more peaceful when you realize that it is not your job to be responsible for other people’s problems.

How NOT To Absorb Other People’s Problems

My New Year’s Resolutions for 2020 are simple: I plan to be selfish, unavailable, and unreliable. For an empath, f you implement these changes into your daily routine, you will gradually start feeling a levity unlike any other. Part of being an empath means you always put everyone else first. We are innately people-pleasers.  I’m tired of that stuff.  Yeah some people say how it makes me beautiful.  Screw that noise!  Living in a big city like LA, if you’re a people pleaser you’re seen as a sucker and people will steamroll right over you, taking advantage of you.  My turn!  Next time I see one slice of pizza left, I’m going to take it, and stuff it down my mouth.  Each man or woman for him/herself!

My New Year’s Resolutions for 2020 are simple: I plan to be selfish, unavailable, and unreliable. For an empath, f you implement these changes into your daily routine, you will gradually start feeling a levity unlike any other. Part of being an empath means you always put everyone else first. We are innately people-pleasers.  I’m tired of that stuff.  Yeah some people say how it makes me beautiful.  Screw that noise!  Living in a big city like LA, if you’re a people pleaser you’re seen as a sucker and people will steamroll right over you, taking advantage of you.  My turn!  Next time I see one slice of pizza left, I’m going to take it, and stuff it down my mouth.  Each man or woman for him/herself!

Selfish, Unavailable, and Unreliable: Empath Resolutions

The Word NO Is A Complete Sentence

How To Get Over A Breakup

So it happened again didn’t it?  Despite all of the lessons you’ve learned, hundreds of hours of YouTube videos, Podcasts, and self-help books, you still let someone through your front door that sucked the life out of you and now that that person has found your magical teat to suckle off of, you can’t get rid of them. You’re left drained, your eyes feel heavy, and you need to do a reset to get your energy back. If you don’t properly recharge or cleanse, you’ll end up becoming what you hate by being a jerk to your loved ones in an attempt to steal their energy to replenish your own.  It becomes this vicious cycle – someone has taken your energy and now you’re subconsciously trying to take someone else’s.  No wonder people like lawyers end up getting divorced so much – they probably do emotional drive by’s on their spouses on a daily basis.  if you wonder why you need so much alone time, then this is why – because you are trying to protect yourself from further emotional turbulence and you need this time to heal. In any event I want to use this episode to talk about ways in which to recharge your batteries and reset your mood and essentially cleanse the toxic energies that you have absorbed.  What will be different though, is that as the modern-day hippy that I am, I don’t really believe in all of these gem-Stones that you have to rub all over your balls.  I also don’t believe in planets aligning in order to dictate your life such as I don’t think you have to wait for Mercury to be in line with your anus before you can help yourself.  I also don’t think you need to risk burning your house down by burning incense and sage thereby setting off the fire alarms sprinklers and making things smell funky for your neighbors – something especially true if you live in an apartment complex.  The reason I do not believe in all those things is because those are all externalities and I truly do not believe that you need external material objects in order to heal yourself. Because once you start relying on these external things then what happens when you don’t have access to them? For example I live in Los Angeles and I’m pretty sure if I go to Trader Joe’s or Ralph’s or Walmart I can’t just find Sage so I can burn it.  Does this mean I have to run around town looking for sage or perhaps some sort of particular Quartz stone before I can begin the healing?  And what if there is a worldwide shortage of Sage – does this mean I can’t heal myself?   Nope, of course not.  The power to heal and cleanse oneself is within our self. So here are some ways that I have found effective to help myself recharge my batteries.  Hopefully you find some use in them.   1.  Make sure to give yourself some alone time everyday especially on a day when someone has taken your energy from you. If you live with a roommate or you live with your parents or are married or whatever, then you may not have your own little cave to spend some time outside of the house where you can be alone. Especially in a big city like Los Angeles, it can sometimes be difficult because no matter where you go there are people around. But despite the crowds and big cities there are usually some places you can go to find some space.  A good place to do this might be a city park where you can sit on a bench and have at least a little bit of room with no one that knows you around.   Another place to get some alone time could be a public library.  While people may be there, at least they’re quietly doing their own thing which creates a very pleasant and healing environment.  I always love the smell of libraries. While it is important for you to be alone, I think it’s even more important that you’re at least away from people that you know including friends and family.  At least when you’re alone in a park or library then you’re not around people that can try to use you as a conduit for them to use you to dump their dark energy.  The more you can put yourself in an anonymous place, the better.  When I’ve had a tough day with emotional terrorists giving me their junk it never ceases to amaze me how I can literally feel my body relaxing and detoxifying when I finally get to be alone in my man cave with no one to talk to me.  It’s amazing how tense the body can get without realizing because it happens so gradually. For me, after feeling the anxiety and stress in my chest, when I go to my man-cave or dungeon and lie down, I can feel the negativity evaporating.  The pressure and weight I feel on my chest literally starts evaporating….I can breath easier, my mind stops racing with negative thoughts or dwelling on nonsense.  Find your special place in your house, or even buried away in the corner of some coffee shop.  And oh yeah – turn off the ringer to your cell phone so no incoming calls or text messages disturb you. 2.  Listen to music Start playing your favorite songs.  I love pop duet ballads and top 40 pop.  I’ve especially found Coldplay songs quite relaxing and recently Alan Walker’s songs lift me up.  From Coldplay, I love Everglow, Hypnotized, and Fly On as all of those songs bring me back down and bring me memories and energies which help push out the negative stuff.  Alan Walker’s songs like Alone, On My WAy, and Darkside always lift me up because they make me feel like I’m on one of my travel adventures in some remote part of the world where I’m anonymous and untouchable.  Another one that is not pop-music but very soothing is by Deva Premal called Aat Guray Namay. Check out the website for some of these songs as perhaps they’ll strike a chord with you as well.  Regardless, music is subject so play music that you know will sooth your soul and bring back good memories, no matter how old.  Doing this will help distract your mind from whatever toxic shit you’ve been ruminating about and put some good vibrations into your mind and body. 3.  Read a novel. READ?!  No one reads anymore, right?  Of course they do and if you don’t, then try it.  I stopped reading fiction novels for years, but after a trip to Bali last year, I stumbled upon a novel called “The Hard Way”, by Lee Child.  It’s about a character named Jack Reacher, which you may have heard about since they made a couple of movies based off of the character with Tom Cruise playing Jack Reacher.  Anyway, amazing books and a year later I think I’ve read almost 15 of them.  They suck you in.  The point of reading these fiction books is they stimulate your imagination which is important because that means they distract you and make you use other parts of your brain instead of dwelling on whatever it is that is making you feel low-energy.   It takes some getting used to if you haven’t read in awhile since a lot of us have turned to peering at our cell phones for an instant fix of reading and maybe have ADD when it comes to having to read an entire story.  Try it though.  And seriously if it’s that much of a struggle, get one of these audio books and listen to the story at night before going to bed.   Hell for that matter, turn on a podcast which is a mystery or a story – there are plenty of them.  I’m not going to go so far as to start binge watching Netflix series because frankly I don’t think they’re as good for mental stimulation as reading a book or listening to a story since you’re not triggering your imagination as much since the visuals are already provided for you.  Listening to a story on a podcast or audio book is a great way to have your brain think about other things and cleanse the crap your mind has accumulated.  You start thinking about other things and if you’re listening to a mystery, it starts making your brain begin to try and figure out the mystery.  Try it! Although not necessarily a mystery, a podcast I highly recommend is called Serial which is a real story about a high school kid that got thrown in jail for the murder of his ex-girlfriend.  It became the most-listened to podcast in history and the story within garnered national headlines and prompted  the legal system to reconsider the case and potentially get the accused out of jail.  To date, it was the most addictive thing I have ever listened to.  Give it a shot.   4.  Go for a walk You may have heard this as one of the most common things to do to cleanse you of bad energy, but take a walk.  Many pundits talk about taking a walk in nature, like taking a hike.  Here in Los Angeles there are surprisingly tonnes of hiking trails in the hills and mountains.  I say surprisingly because this is such a dense city, you wouldn’t think that there was anywhere where you would find nature in what’s otherwise a concrete jungle, but you would be very wrong.  Regardless of where you live, there are usually options and if you have to drive a bit to get there, so be it.  Walking in a forest is more special because you absorb better air and good energy from the plants and trees around you.  It may sound hokey but it’s real.  I always remember secluding myself in a beautiful villa in an unpopulated part of Ubud, Bali a little over a year ago.  My place was at the back of a rice field, at the edge of a small cliff facing a jungle.  There was literally nothing around.  I swear I had my psychic superpowers return to me in just a couple of days of being there.  My memory sharpened and I was able to perceive things that I had stopped perceiving.  For example, one day I had a feeling my Mom had fallen down and no one was there at the house.  My Mom had NEVER fallen down before and had no health issues.  Sure enough the next day I called her and she told me she had fallen.   I’m not telling everyone to fly to Bali.  But if you can’t find a forest, then go to a local park.  If you’re not able to even go to a local park, I’ve even found just taking a walk outside of your house or office can make a huge difference.  I’m always amazed at the things I notice when I take a walk that I don’t notice when I’m in my car driving by the same places.  Just get outside.  Even take a walk around the block for 10 minutes.  A friend of mine was always stressed at work.  She would work long hours in a pressured environment for weeks and months on end.  I found out that she didn’t even get up from her desk for lunch – she would literally eat lunch at her desk, meaning she would be sitting down for hours and hours in the same place.  I urged her to get up and go somewhere for lunch.  Take a 15 minute break and go to across the street to Dunkin Donuts for a French honey cruller.  Just break up your day and get outside!  She started doing it and immediately within the first few days her stress levels went from 100 down to about 60.  Cleansing is about distracting the mind and finding energy from the outside. 5.  Steal it from someone else. Yup, you heard that right.  If you need a cleanse, that means someone in your day stole it from you at some point.  I guess this isn’t really cleansing so much as it is taking back what’s rightfully yours, but I thought I would throw it in this podcast since as empaths we tend to run away, hide, and curl up into the fetal position if someone attacks us.   Why not steal the energy back?  One caveat though:  AVOID doing an emotional drive-by on a loved one or innocent bystander because then you become just as bad as the emotional terrorist or ET as I like to call them.  Instead, why not be a dick right back to the person that stole your energy?  Avoid getting into a back-and-forth fight – it’s more about standing up to that person and letting them know that you won’t tolerate their behavior.  It does wonders.  I’m still working on how to do this and it won’t work every time, but I’ll give you a recent example. I had a client come in for a consultation for a bankruptcy.  Right away I could tell his energy was one that was very stressed.  Unlike most people, surprisingly, those needing to file bankruptcy feel like crap, but generally are pleasant.  This guy however was really taking it badly even though in reality the portrait of his situation was not that bad compared to most.  I requested some very simple document from him that I would need in order to do his case.  Not long after, he began calling multiple times a day and emailing, as though the voicemails he was leaving weren’t enough.  He wasn’t even calling with any questions, but instead just to give me useless updates on his own status of collecting documents.  For those of you out there that have never used a lawyer – you don’t need to call us to tell us what you had for breakfast.  This kind of behavior is why many lawyers charge hourly fees – not so much because of the money but to mitigate clients from abusing our time. I’ll fast forward a bit, but when it came time for him to come in again, actually sign the retainer and pay me to actually start his case and represent him, he began throwing a fit when I asked him for documents that he did not bring (even though I had told him various times that I needed them).  He did an emotional drive-by on me, complaining about how ridiculous this process is and wondering why I hadn’t finished his case yet.  Hey dumb-ass, you haven’t even paid me, nor have you given me your documents, so how the F am I supposed to do your case?  By psychically knowing your personal information? Anyway, I could feel the tension.  He slammed the folder I gave him closed and began walking out of my office saying he would have to come back to get all of these ridiculous documents.  The old me would have ate his energy and been agitated.  And trust me, with his energy and behavior, I did eat some.  But I did something different.  First, I made it clear that I can’t keep meeting him for free – sign the retainer, pay me, and you can bring back the deficient documents later.  He didn’t have any issue with that, but I still felt unsettled and I started to stew internally about what a dick this guy was and my mind started going down a bad path. So here’s what I did:  a couple of hours later I called him.  I said John, I didn’t like my meeting with you earlier today.  I’m the guy helping you, and you’re attacking me as though I’m the one that put you in this situation.  I can put up with a difficult situation as I realize that’s part of the job, but in reality if you’re going to be borderline accusatory with me, and spew such negative energy, then I’m not the lawyer for you.  You made it seem like I gave you bad instructions when in fact I didn’t.  I used to put up with bad behavior from clients but I don’t anymore because I’ve grown up a lot over the years and I’m an empath so I have no interest in absorbing negative energy because it’s just going to make me resent you and not want to help you, which is the opposite of the type of relationship I need to have with my clients.  So if it’s going to be like pulling teeth and arm-wrestling you for very simple documents and information requests, then you should come back to my office and pick up your check and find someone else. BAM.  THERE.  I gave him his energy back.  And guess what happened?  He spent the next five minutes apologizing, wondering how he became this way and became the client from hell, attacking the very guy he needed help from.  He promised he would behave better and said he would show it through his actions.  It got better:  the next day he went to my office and even though my paralegal hadn’t even interacted with him, he personally approached her when I wasn’t even there and apologized to her for being such an asshole.   That day when I made the call to him to tell him all of this, I immediately felt 100% better.  I was starting to stew a little bit since I had absorbed his negative energy, and was starting to feel negative.  Instead of letting it perpetuate and going to bed with it, I called him and gave it right back to him.  And you know what?  IT FELT GREAT and I didn’t think about him for the rest of the day.  I wonder how many fewer gray hairs I would have had I started practicing this earlier on in life.  Better late than never.  I suggest when someone does this to you, try it.  Be completely honest and just tell them to F off in the nicest of ways, setting limits.     Be really careful here.  I think a lot of people in high pressure jobs like medicine and law end up getting divorces and have terrible familial relationships because they unleash the bad energy they’ve absorbed upon their loved ones when they get home – whether that’s upon their husbands, wives, or even children.  This can be the start of how abusive relationships form.  People need an outlet so try to give that negative energy somewhere and to someone else, whoever is around that they know won’t push back.  We often do it to our loved-ones because they don’t push back.  Monitor yourself to make sure you’re not doing drive-bys on your loved ones and messing up the relationships that matter meanwhile preserving the toxic ones at work or wherever, where the negative energy is emanating.   6.  Meditate  You’ll hear this over and over and over.  I am still struggling to meditate although I’ve been trying for the last couple of years.  I think just the act of trying is a good enough start.  There are plenty of apps you can download on your phone such as Simple Habit and Headspace which will give you a guided meditation and perhaps make the process easier since it puts you on a schedule.  While I haven’t used Headspace much, I do use Simple Habit and what I like about that one is that you can choose the guided meditation based on the kind of issue you’re experiencing, such as stress, anxiety, depression, or if you just had a hard day at the office. I think the problem I have had with meditating is that when things are going well, I stop doing it.  I can find the time to check Facebook twenty times a day, or browse the internet for nonsense for 20 minutes, but I find an excuse not to invest 5 minutes of time in a guided meditation.  There’s a quote I once read that stuck with me:  if you’re so busy that you don’t have even 20 minutes to meditate, then meditate for an hour. Try it! CONCLUSION There are lots of other things you can do to cleanse and replenish your energy.  If you have your own technique that you’d like to share, send me a message and I’ll be happy to include it in a future episode.  I suggest finding something that works for you as everything doesn’t work for everybody.  What is even more important though is that you do this regularly, even daily so that you keep your cup full.  Often we get so caught up in life that we don’t realize that have anything left unless it’s too late.  We end up lashing out at everyone around us, and getting sick very easily because we’re under so much stress. If you start cleansing and make it part of a daily routine, it will help you to keep shining.  While I don’t believe that you need to stick Mars in your anus to feel good or burn your house down with sage, at the end of the day, do what works.  Everything is worth a shot, but just like you should protect your time, so should you also protect your energy.  At the end of every day, think about how you feel, and take action to regenerate so that your cup is brimming at the start of every day and hopefully even by the end of each day.

How To Cleanse Bad Energy Before It’s Too Late

After watching the NBA Finals in which the Golden State Warriors squared off against the Toronto Raptors in a best of seven series, I was prompted to do this impromptu episode when the Warrior’s star player, Kevin Durant, severely injured his leg. Kevin Durant was a unique player – not because of his almost 7 foot height, andand not not only because he was an amazing basketball player, but because of the fact that he was actually very sensitive to what other people would say about him even though he was a major celebrity.  Kevin injured himself about a month before the Finals and could not play.  Perhaps succumbing to the pressure to play again in order to save his team from elimination, he ended up playing.  From everything we knew it seemed like a bad idea in that he wasn’t ready to play. He ended up playing.  I cringed every time he had the ball.  Sure enough, not long into the game, he ended up tearing his Achilles heel, perhaps because he was injured and playing when he should not have been.   In this episode, I explore how giving in to what other people want can ultimately lead to your demise. Good luck and best wishes to the kind soul known as Kevin Durant.

After watching the NBA Finals in which the Golden State Warriors squared off against the Toronto Raptors in a best of seven series, I was prompted to do this impromptu episode when the Warrior’s star player, Kevin Durant, severely injured his leg. Kevin Durant was a unique player – not because of his almost 7 foot height, andand not not only because he was an amazing basketball player, but because of the fact that he was actually very sensitive to what other people would say about him even though he was a major celebrity.  Kevin injured himself about a month before the Finals and could not play.  Perhaps succumbing to the pressure to play again in order to save his team from elimination, he ended up playing.  From everything we knew it seemed like a bad idea in that he wasn’t ready to play. He ended up playing.  I cringed every time he had the ball.  Sure enough, not long into the game, he ended up tearing his Achilles heel, perhaps because he was injured and playing when he should not have been.   In this episode, I explore how giving in to what other people want can ultimately lead to your demise. Good luck and best wishes to the kind soul known as Kevin Durant.

Put Yourself First Or Get Hurt Like Kevin Durant

The best podcast episodes of anyone with an interesting story. With famous guests like Obama, LeBron James, Drake, Oprah Winfrey, Richard Branson, Michelle Obama, Serena Williams, to anyone who has a unique and interesting story to tell. Add episodes you're interested into your queue below!

Best Episodes: Personal Stories & Great Interviews

The best episodes for anyone looking to learn more about topics such as happiness, fulfillment, depression and psychology/mental health in general. With interviews with industry experts, personal stories of individuals, this topic has lessons applicable to everyone. Add episodes you're interested into your queue below!