The thought of losing your 7-year-old is unfathomable. Losing a child should simply never happen, but for reasons we don’t know now, it does.  Nixon Whatcott bravely battled osteosarcoma for nearly a year and a half. A once very active little boy, he faced losing his leg, and ultimately his life.  Nixon’s mother, Janessa, is one of the strongest, bravest people I have ever had the opportunity to chat with.  She has taken incredible loss and channeled her sorrow into the Nixon Strong Foundation, to help other families battling childhood cancer.  Nixon’s story is one that will never leave your heart.  7-years-old is far too young to die, but I have a feeling that Nixon felt more love than most do in a lifetime.  Since his passing, thousands upon thousands of people have rallied around the Whatcott family and their mission.  This is a story that will make you so grateful for the little things. It puts all the craziness in our world into perspective and even though I never had the opportunity to meet Nixon, his life inspires me to be braver, to be a better mother, and to keep fighting life’s battles every single day.  Link to the Nixon Strong Facebook Page. 

The thought of losing your 7-year-old is unfathomable. Losing a child should simply never happen, but for reasons we don’t know now, it does. Nixon Whatcott bravely battled osteosarcoma for nearly a year and a half. A once very active little boy, he faced losing his leg, and ultimately his life. Nixon’s mother, Janessa, is one of the strongest, bravest people I have ever had the opportunity to chat with. She has taken incredible loss and channeled her sorrow into the <a href="https://nixonstrongfoundation.org" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Nixon Strong Foundation</a>, to help other families battling childhood cancer. Nixon’s story is one that will never leave your heart. 7-years-old is far too young to die, but I have a feeling that Nixon felt more love than most do in a lifetime. Since his passing, thousands upon thousands of people have rallied around the Whatcott family and their mission. This is a story that will make you so grateful for the little things. It puts all the craziness in our world into perspective and even though I never had the opportunity to meet Nixon, his life inspires me to be braver, to be a better mother, and to keep fighting life’s battles every single day. Link to the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/fightfornixon/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Nixon Strong Facebook Page</a>.

Nixon Strong

Being a single parent is undoubtedly challenging. One of the most humbling aspects is getting by financially on one income. We live in a two-income household world and it’s increasingly difficult to make one income work.  This is where “The Single Parent Project” comes to the rescue. If you’re too embarrassed to ask your parents for gas money, an unexpected car repair comes up, or you need food in your cupboards, apply for assistance from the “Single Parent Project.”  As a single parent, it is often the little things that throw your budget into the negative.  “The Single Parent Project” was created by two women who have been personally affected by divorce and know what it’s like to live in a one-income household. You’ll never find judgement with this organization. I was so honored to sit down with Meghann and Alyssa as they opened up more about this incredible non-profit.  If Meghann sounds familiar, you may remember her from this “Not the Way I Planned Episode. If you missed it, go back and give her inspiring story a listen.  From Teenage Pregnancy to The Brady Bunch

Being a single parent is undoubtedly challenging. One of the most humbling aspects is getting by financially on one income. We live in a two-income household world and it’s increasingly difficult to make one income work. This is where <a href="https://www.singleparentproject.org" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">“The Single Parent Project”</a> comes to the rescue. If you’re too embarrassed to ask your parents for gas money, an unexpected car repair comes up, or you need food in your cupboards, apply for assistance from the “Single Parent Project.” As a single parent, it is often the little things that throw your budget into the negative. “The Single Parent Project” was created by two women who have been personally affected by divorce and know what it’s like to live in a one-income household. You’ll never find judgement with this organization. I was so honored to sit down with Meghann and Alyssa as they opened up more about this incredible non-profit. If Meghann sounds familiar, you may remember her from this “Not the Way I Planned Episode. If you missed it, go back and give her inspiring story a listen. <blockquote><a href="https://notthewayiplanned.com/from-teenage-pregnancy-to-the-brady-bunch/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">From Teenage Pregnancy to The Brady Bunch</a></blockquote>

The Single Parent Project

I have always held my self worth in the same space as my riches. I thought my parents would love me more and I would love myself more if I was successful with money and in my career. I still struggle with these thoughts as we live in a “Keeping Up with the Jones'” world.  I’ve been handed a big slice of humble pie when it has come to finances. I have worked hard my entire life and have still found myself struggling.  I’ve learned the hard way that it’s not just about getting a good education and showing up every day.  Home repairs, car repairs, and medical bills can quickly take you from saving to putting money on credit cards and it’s hard to catch up.  It’s easy to feel like everyone else around you has made it and is financially secure, but looks can be deceiving.  This is my journey with money. In the end I’ve learned that I have so much more worth than what is in my bank account.  For more on getting by on a tight budget, click below.  Things I Am Never Too Poor For and How to Get By Paycheck to Paycheck

I have always held my self worth in the same space as my riches. I thought my parents would love me more and I would love myself more if I was successful with money and in my career. I still struggle with these thoughts as we live in a “Keeping Up with the Jones'” world. I’ve been handed a big slice of humble pie when it has come to finances. I have worked hard my entire life and have still found myself struggling. I’ve learned the hard way that it’s not just about getting a good education and showing up every day. Home repairs, car repairs, and medical bills can quickly take you from saving to putting money on credit cards and it’s hard to catch up. It’s easy to feel like everyone else around you has made it and is financially secure, but looks can be deceiving. This is my journey with money. In the end I’ve learned that I have so much more worth than what is in my bank account. For more on getting by on a tight budget, click below. <blockquote><a href="https://notthewayiplanned.com/things-i-am-never-too-poor-for-and-how-to-get-by-paycheck-to-paycheck/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Things I Am Never Too Poor For and How to Get By Paycheck to Paycheck</a></blockquote>

Fumbling Through Finances

I’ll never forget the day that I met Carmen Parker. Our sons were in the same kindergarten class and we met up at a park to let the boys play. As a few years past by we both faced divorce. She was a bright light in a dark time in my life. She taught me that “not the way I planned” can be beautiful.  Carmen has faced a lot of unplanned moments in her life. This past years journey with her first born has been brought moments of grief, love, advocacy, and acceptance. baby RileyCarmen’s daughter Riley is transgender and now identifies as male and goes by Lucas.  Our conversation opened my eyes and reaffirmed how as a parent you want nothing more than for your child to be happy. LucasRegardless of your upbringing, religious standpoint, or general beliefs, I hope you will listen to “Accepting and Loving My Transgender Child” with an open mind and an open heart.  In the end its about the love between a mother and her child, and I think that’s a message we can all learn from. 

I’ll never forget the day that I met Carmen Parker. Our sons were in the same kindergarten class and we met up at a park to let the boys play. As a few years past by we both faced divorce. She was a bright light in a dark time in my life. She taught me that “not the way I planned” can be beautiful. Carmen has faced a lot of unplanned moments in her life. This past years journey with her first born has been brought moments of grief, love, advocacy, and acceptance. baby Riley Carmen’s daughter Riley is transgender and now identifies as male and goes by Lucas. Our conversation opened my eyes and reaffirmed how as a parent you want nothing more than for your child to be happy. Lucas Regardless of your upbringing, religious standpoint, or general beliefs, I hope you will listen to “Accepting and Loving My Transgender Child” with an open mind and an open heart. In the end its about the love between a mother and her child, and I think that’s a message we can all learn from.

Accepting And Loving My Transgender Child

Molly Bice Jackson has faced the unthinkable. She’s lost one of the most precious people in her life, her beautiful daughter Lucy.  Molly’s tragic story has stuck with me for over a decade. I’ve found my heart aching for someone I’ve never met. I’ve found myself holding my own children a little more dear.  The most impressive part of Molly’s story is her ability to take her broken heart and transform the lives of others. Her message of love and loss is one you won’t soon forget.  Today she’s a life coach and motivational speaker touching every life she comes in contact with.  As we spoke she mentioned a quote that will stay in my heart forever. “The cavity carved by pain can one day become our receptacle for joy.” As Molly said, Lucy has given her life meaning, and in return I think Molly has given Lucy the voice she never got to have. LucyFor on Molly’s life coaching or to schedule her as a speaker visit  https://www.mollybicejackson.com For other stories of love and loss…  https://notthewayiplanned.com/angel-baby/ https://notthewayiplanned.com/untangling-knots/

Molly Bice Jackson has faced the unthinkable. She’s lost one of the most precious people in her life, her beautiful daughter Lucy. Molly’s tragic story has stuck with me for over a decade. I’ve found my heart aching for someone I’ve never met. I’ve found myself holding my own children a little more dear. The most impressive part of Molly’s story is her ability to take her broken heart and transform the lives of others. Her message of love and loss is one you won’t soon forget. Today she’s a life coach and motivational speaker touching every life she comes in contact with. As we spoke she mentioned a quote that will stay in my heart forever. “The cavity carved by pain can one day become our receptacle for joy.” As Molly said, Lucy has given her life meaning, and in return I think Molly has given Lucy the voice she never got to have. Lucy For on Molly’s life coaching or to schedule her as a speaker visit <a href="https://www.mollybicejackson.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.mollybicejackson.com</a> For other stories of love and loss… <a href="https://notthewayiplanned.com/angel-baby/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://notthewayiplanned.com/angel-baby/</a> <a href="https://notthewayiplanned.com/untangling-knots/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://notthewayiplanned.com/untangling-knots/</a>

Losing Lucy

I don’t think I’ve even met anyone who has more valiantly fought obsessive compulsive disorder, or “OCD” like 19-year-old, Luke Davenport.  We’re not talking about you like things a little nice and tidy “OCD.” Obsessive Compulsive Disorder made it very difficult for Luke to finish high school. He’s lost jobs, friends, and it’s a battle he has to fight against his own brain every single day.  Luke’s Mom Molly has researched like crazy, they’ve gone through 8 different therapists trying to help Luke, but OCD still has a hold on his life.  This is their story. 

I don’t think I’ve even met anyone who has more valiantly fought obsessive compulsive disorder, or “OCD” like 19-year-old, Luke Davenport. We’re not talking about you like things a little nice and tidy “OCD.” Obsessive Compulsive Disorder made it very difficult for Luke to finish high school. He’s lost jobs, friends, and it’s a battle he has to fight against his own brain every single day. Luke’s Mom Molly has researched like crazy, they’ve gone through 8 different therapists trying to help Luke, but OCD still has a hold on his life. This is their story.

Luke’s Battle with OCD

I don’t know if I’ve ever met someone that has faced more trials, miracles, love, or loss quite like Laura Dibble Watts. She’s had so many “Not the Way I Planned” moments that I feel like she could write multiple award-winning books, so I was very honored that she was willing to sit down with me and talk about everything she’s been through.  I’m not sure what outweighs what in Laura’s story, the trials, the miracles, the love, or the loss she has faced, but I do know that I admire her keep moving forward attitude tremendously.  If you met Laura and her children, you would have no idea how incredibly difficult her pregnancies were and that it’s a miracle her children are here at all. The smile on her face would also hide the insurmountable loss that she has had to come to terms with. Through it all she says she still has a tremendous amount of faith, a strong belief in God and love and that hopefully someday everything will make sense in the end.  This is her story.  For more stories of Love and Loss click below.  Losing Dad and Finding Humanity Untangling Knots Two Brothers Gone in the Night

I don’t know if I’ve ever met someone that has faced more trials, miracles, love, or loss quite like Laura Dibble Watts. She’s had so many “Not the Way I Planned” moments that I feel like she could write multiple award-winning books, so I was very honored that she was willing to sit down with me and talk about everything she’s been through. I’m not sure what outweighs what in Laura’s story, the trials, the miracles, the love, or the loss she has faced, but I do know that I admire her keep moving forward attitude tremendously. If you met Laura and her children, you would have no idea how incredibly difficult her pregnancies were and that it’s a miracle her children are here at all. The smile on her face would also hide the insurmountable loss that she has had to come to terms with. Through it all she says she still has a tremendous amount of faith, a strong belief in God and love and that hopefully someday everything will make sense in the end. This is her story. For more stories of Love and Loss click below. <a href="https://notthewayiplanned.com/losing-dad-and-finding-humanity/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Losing Dad and Finding Humanity</a> <a href="https://notthewayiplanned.com/untangling-knots/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Untangling Knots</a> <a href="https://notthewayiplanned.com/2-brothers-gone-in-the-night/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Two Brothers Gone in the Night</a>

Trials, Miracles, Love, & Loss

John Moug has faced some very unexpected moments in his life. Most recently he found himself suddenly out of work and uprooting his life to a new state.  I didn’t know a lot about John’s past when I sat down with him. I was intrigued to take someone and dive into how their life hasn’t gone the way they planned without knowing the bulk of their story beforehand.  From the divorce of his parents as a child, to finding the love of his life, and now uprooting his world to live in Boise, Idaho. John taught me a lot about resiliency and learning to roll with life’s punches. 

John Moug has faced some very unexpected moments in his life. Most recently he found himself suddenly out of work and uprooting his life to a new state. I didn’t know a lot about John’s past when I sat down with him. I was intrigued to take someone and dive into how their life hasn’t gone the way they planned without knowing the bulk of their story beforehand. From the divorce of his parents as a child, to finding the love of his life, and now uprooting his world to live in Boise, Idaho. John taught me a lot about resiliency and learning to roll with life’s punches.

Sudden Job Loss and Moving to a New State

Nancy Gifford has a story you won’t soon forget. After years of struggling as a single Mom, she lost the love of her life while battling stage 4 cancer.  Since her tragic loss and heroic battle, Nancy has gone on to run marathons and inspire almost everyone she comes in contact with.  Nancy hasn’t run away from her grief, she’s walked through all of the stages and landed in a place where she’s ready to embrace the life that’s in front of her.  I hope Nancy’s story inspires you to tackle whatever life hands your way and I’m sure you’ll find yourself cheering her on to find her happily ever after.  Other podcasts you may enjoy… Angel Baby When the Doctor Says “It’s Cancer”

Nancy Gifford has a story you won’t soon forget. After years of struggling as a single Mom, she lost the love of her life while battling stage 4 cancer. Since her tragic loss and heroic battle, Nancy has gone on to run marathons and inspire almost everyone she comes in contact with. Nancy hasn’t run away from her grief, she’s walked through all of the stages and landed in a place where she’s ready to embrace the life that’s in front of her. I hope Nancy’s story inspires you to tackle whatever life hands your way and I’m sure you’ll find yourself cheering her on to find her happily ever after. Other podcasts you may enjoy… <blockquote><a href="https://notthewayiplanned.com/angel-baby/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Angel Baby</a></blockquote> <blockquote><a href="https://notthewayiplanned.com/when-the-doctor-says-its-cancer/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">When the Doctor Says “It’s Cancer”</a></blockquote>

Losing the Love of My Life While Battling Cancer

I can’t even begin to adequately express how much I appreciate your bravery and vulnerability over the past year. My gratitude for every one of you that has shared your story of life not going the way you planned has changed my life for the better, deepened my awareness, and helped me to find more gratitude through my own struggles. I trust that you have brought that light to many other people as well.  These are my favorite messages shared during the past year. I hate picking favorites, especially when you all feel like members of my family now, but these are simply the messages that stuck with me and resonated with me the most among all of the lessons learned.  I’m excited for 2020 and the growth of this baby brand. Even if we don’t have the biggest numbers or the most followers, I know that your messages are changing people’s perspectives on hard times. As cliche as it sounds, the saying is true for me that if this bitty blog or the “Not the Way I Planned” podcast helps one person, that is good enough for me.  If you have a story of life not going quite the way you thought it would, I would love to hear from you. Hit the Contact button and let’s get in touch!

I can’t even begin to adequately express how much I appreciate your bravery and vulnerability over the past year. My gratitude for every one of you that has shared your story of life not going the way you planned has changed my life for the better, deepened my awareness, and helped me to find more gratitude through my own struggles. I trust that you have brought that light to many other people as well. These are my favorite messages shared during the past year. I hate picking favorites, especially when you all feel like members of my family now, but these are simply the messages that stuck with me and resonated with me the most among all of the lessons learned. I’m excited for 2020 and the growth of this baby brand. Even if we don’t have the biggest numbers or the most followers, I know that your messages are changing people’s perspectives on hard times. As cliche as it sounds, the saying is true for me that if this bitty blog or the “Not the Way I Planned” podcast helps one person, that is good enough for me. If you have a story of life not going quite the way you thought it would, I would love to hear from you. Hit the <a href="https://notthewayiplanned.com/contact-us/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Contact </a>button and let’s get in touch!

The Best of Not The Way I Planned 2019

Not the Way I Planned will showcase inspiring interviews, plus tips and tricks for living your best life, even if it’s not the life you planned.

Carly is my niece and I’m so proud of her and this podcast!  Every time I listen, I want more!  She’s a woman who’s taken her “mess and made it her message”.  Everyone can learn from her guests, even if you don’t have the same trial they have!

So proud!!

So relatable! Great start, can’t wait for more!!

Love it!

Not The Way I Planned

This woman is the epitome of a good co-parent. From the very beginning of my divorce journey, she was an example to me that everything can be okay if you proceed as mature adults and keep the kids your top priority.  I’ve witnessed her ex and her new husband all come together to support the kids, but her words of wisdom go even deeper than that. From holidays to bouncing kids back and forth, to having a relationship with your ex’s family, she’s got it down! If you are a co-parent or if you know someone who is co-parenting please listen to Keesha’s message. I promise it’s worth every second. 

This woman is the epitome of a good co-parent. From the very beginning of my divorce journey, she was an example to me that everything can be okay if you proceed as mature adults and keep the kids your top priority. I’ve witnessed her ex and her new husband all come together to support the kids, but her words of wisdom go even deeper than that. From holidays to bouncing kids back and forth, to having a relationship with your ex’s family, she’s got it down! If you are a co-parent or if you know someone who is co-parenting please listen to Keesha’s message. I promise it’s worth every second.

Co-Parenting

Divorce can feel very much like diving off a cliff. It’s really scary, part of it is liberating, you lose your footing, you have to navigate new waters, and you always walk away a different person than you were before. This is my divorce story.  What I wish I would have known prior to getting married. The regret of not handling conflict the way I should have. Learning a new normal and gaining the tools to be a better partner in the future.  If you have been through a divorce, you are currently going through a divorce, or you know someone who is walking this very difficult path, I hope you will gain something from my mistakes.  If you enjoy this episode of the “Not The Way I Planned” podcast, check out these other episodes.  https://notthewayiplanned.com/not-the-way-i-planned-podcast-meet-carly/ https://notthewayiplanned.com/co-parenting/ For more information on The 5 Love Languages click below. https://cratedwithlove.com/blog/five-love-languages-and-what-they-mean/

Divorce can feel very much like diving off a cliff. It’s really scary, part of it is liberating, you lose your footing, you have to navigate new waters, and you always walk away a different person than you were before. This is my divorce story. What I wish I would have known prior to getting married. The regret of not handling conflict the way I should have. Learning a new normal and gaining the tools to be a better partner in the future. If you have been through a divorce, you are currently going through a divorce, or you know someone who is walking this very difficult path, I hope you will gain something from my mistakes. If you enjoy this episode of the “Not The Way I Planned” podcast, check out these other episodes. <a href="https://notthewayiplanned.com/not-the-way-i-planned-podcast-meet-carly/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://notthewayiplanned.com/not-the-way-i-planned-podcast-meet-carly/</a> <a href="https://notthewayiplanned.com/co-parenting/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://notthewayiplanned.com/co-parenting/</a> For more information on The 5 Love Languages click below. <a href="https://cratedwithlove.com/blog/five-love-languages-and-what-they-mean/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://cratedwithlove.com/blog/five-love-languages-and-what-they-mean/</a>

Diving Into Divorce

I’ve known Ammie for over thirty years. She’s been through a lot. She’s inspired and strengthened me in some of my darkest days and yet she’s just like so many of us in being overly critical and feeling inadequate. Trust me, she is one of the best people I’ve ever met and I am honored to call her my friend. She sent me in part this message after our interview and if you read it you’ll know why I think so highly of her. (p.s. I didn’t even get her permission to share this, but her words were so powerful that I knew they had to be heard. Sorry, Ammie if you don’t forgive me!) In talking about feeling embarrassed and inadequate about telling her story she said… I feel like any other mom who just wants the very best for her kids. To me, my story really isn’t that inspiring and I’m not really that amazing.  I feel like I am just a normal person. Being a single mom doesn’t make me amazing if anything it shines a light on all my flaws.  Having a child with special needs definitely does not make me a superhero, but it sure has given me the opportunity to know one in real life.   I’m lucky enough to love two of my own superheroes and tuck them into bed every night.  I find myself getting caught up in comparing myself and my story to another and then the criticism sets in and then, of course, the guilt and the self-doubt quickly follows.  Some days I feel like a rock star mom, some days I might be a rock star employee. Most days, however, I feel like I’m just the bare-minimum-kind-of-mom who definitely could be better.  Thank goodness for resilient kids who love us anyway and in their small and perfect ways, remind us of what really matters most.   I think about all of the people who have been a part of my journey.  Whether they have played a small part or a big part, it is as if they were all precisely placed into my life right when I needed them. Some of them truly angels.   Life has been full of a lot of really good days mixed in with a big dose of some really hard ones.  If there is just one person who can relate to this and if this is something that they needed to hear, then I’m glad I got to share my story with you.  There have been a lot of bright lights come to me on dark days and if I have learned anything on this journey it’s that the sun always rises and there’s always something to be grateful for. Time has a way of making everything better. We spend so much time worrying about things we cannot control and forget to live in the moment.   Everything always falls into place anyway and the challenges we face today are the things that will buoy us up in the future. It’s amazing to look back and think, “wow, we survived!”    Life is tough and you can do hard things. Don’t doubt for two seconds that you are not enough because you are!  I still believe that the best is yet to be, and yes, I just recited all of my favorite quotes! Even though this life isn’t what I thought of when I dreamed of  my “happily ever after” I’ve learned it’s far better to just be “happy after all.”   

I’ve known Ammie for over thirty years. She’s been through a lot. She’s inspired and strengthened me in some of my darkest days and yet she’s just like so many of us in being overly critical and feeling inadequate. Trust me, she is one of the best people I’ve ever met and I am honored to call her my friend. She sent me in part this message after our interview and if you read it you’ll know why I think so highly of her. (p.s. I didn’t even get her permission to share this, but her words were so powerful that I knew they had to be heard. Sorry, Ammie if you don’t forgive me!) In talking about feeling embarrassed and inadequate about telling her story she said… I feel like any other mom who just wants the very best for her kids. To me, my story really isn’t that inspiring and I’m not really that amazing.  I feel like I am just a normal person. Being a single mom doesn’t make me amazing if anything it shines a light on all my flaws.  Having a child with special needs definitely does not make me a superhero, but it sure has given me the opportunity to know one in real life.   I’m lucky enough to love two of my own superheroes and tuck them into bed every night.  I find myself getting caught up in comparing myself and my story to another and then the criticism sets in and then, of course, the guilt and the self-doubt quickly follows.  Some days I feel like a rock star mom, some days I might be a rock star employee. Most days, however, I feel like I’m just the bare-minimum-kind-of-mom who definitely could be better.  Thank goodness for resilient kids who love us anyway and in their small and perfect ways, remind us of what really matters most.  I think about all of the people who have been a part of my journey.  Whether they have played a small part or a big part, it is as if they were all precisely placed into my life right when I needed them. Some of them truly angels.   Life has been full of a lot of really good days mixed in with a big dose of some really hard ones. If there is just one person who can relate to this and if this is something that they needed to hear, then I’m glad I got to share my story with you.  There have been a lot of bright lights come to me on dark days and if I have learned anything on this journey it’s that the sun always rises and there’s always something to be grateful for. Time has a way of making everything better. We spend so much time worrying about things we cannot control and forget to live in the moment.   Everything always falls into place anyway and the challenges we face today are the things that will buoy us up in the future. It’s amazing to look back and think, “wow, we survived!”    Life is tough and you can do hard things. Don’t doubt for two seconds that you are not enough because you are!  I still believe that the best is yet to be, and yes, I just recited all of my favorite quotes! Even though this life isn’t what I thought of when I dreamed of  my “happily ever after” I’ve learned it’s far better to just be “happy after all.”

The Double D’s: Divorce and a Diagnosis

Val Cameron is one of the bravest people I have ever met. She is never afraid to be herself or stand up for herself. On second thought, maybe she is, but she pushes past the fear and does it anyway! At 40, Val has found herself in an unexpected place. In the last couple years, she’s faced divorce and she’s regaining control of her mental health on her terms.  You can catch Val weekday mornings on B98.7 in Salt Lake City.  This is her story.  If you or someone you know is going through a divorce, check out these other podcast episodes on divorce.  Divorce and a Diagnosis Diving Into Divorce

Val Cameron is one of the bravest people I have ever met. She is never afraid to be herself or stand up for herself. On second thought, maybe she is, but she pushes past the fear and does it anyway! At 40, Val has found herself in an unexpected place. In the last couple years, she’s faced divorce and she’s regaining control of her mental health on her terms. You can catch Val weekday mornings on <a href="http://www.b987.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">B98.7 </a>in Salt Lake City. This is her story. If you or someone you know is going through a divorce, check out these other podcast episodes on divorce. <a href="https://notthewayiplanned.com/the-double-ds-divorce-and-a-diagnosis/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Divorce and a Diagnosis</a> <a href="https://notthewayiplanned.com/diving-into-divorce/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Diving Into Divorce</a>

Suicide and Suddenly Single

This beautiful young woman, Madeline Duskey, was just 24-years-old when she was hit and killed by a drunk driver.  Her Mother, Crystal Markum-Brown sat down with me to share her incredibly tragic story.  After we talked she wrote me this message.  “Maddie has always been my reason to do better and be better. I want her to be proud of her Mom. She is no longer here, but I am still her Mom and I want to continue to do better and be better for her and her kids. There are many parts of this I want to run from, but she still needs me to show up. I show up battered and beaten many days feeling like I don’t matter, but I show up and do my best and that’s what really keeps me going and has always been what keeps me going fiercely. I now represent her and her family she left behind. If I don’t show up, if I don’t carry on, I would fail to light the way for her kids to do their best.” Please share this message in hopes that we can prevent another family from enduring this horrific tragedy. 

This beautiful young woman, Madeline Duskey, was just 24-years-old when she was hit and killed by a drunk driver. Her Mother, Crystal Markum-Brown sat down with me to share her incredibly tragic story. After we talked she wrote me this message. “Maddie has always been my reason to do better and be better. I want her to be proud of her Mom. She is no longer here, but I am still her Mom and I want to continue to do better and be better for her and her kids. There are many parts of this I want to run from, but she still needs me to show up. I show up battered and beaten many days feeling like I don’t matter, but I show up and do my best and that’s what really keeps me going and has always been what keeps me going fiercely. I now represent her and her family she left behind. If I don’t show up, if I don’t carry on, I would fail to light the way for her kids to do their best.” Please share this message in hopes that we can prevent another family from enduring this horrific tragedy.

A Drunk Driver Killed My Daughter

Ashton and B.J. Hobbs made everyone feel loved and special. They were always together and lived life to the fullest. 16-years-ago the brothers went scuba diving and never came back home. This is their story as told by their sister Shannon. It’s a story of incredible loss, learning to navigate the grief process, and ultimately getting through something they will never get over.  If you are struggling through grief, Shannon gives powerful tools to help you along the path.  If you’re not familiar with the grief process and you’ve suffered a loss to any degree, it’s important to recognize the “5 Stages of Grief” and allow yourself to emotionally go through it. It’s often not a linear process. Denial &amp; IsolationAngerBargainingDepressionAcceptance Thank you Hobbs family for raising outstanding young men who made a real impact on this world. They will forever be missed by so many.  

Ashton and B.J. Hobbs made everyone feel loved and special. They were always together and lived life to the fullest. 16-years-ago the brothers went scuba diving and never came back home. This is their story as told by their sister Shannon. It’s a story of incredible loss, learning to navigate the grief process, and ultimately getting through something they will never get over. If you are struggling through grief, Shannon gives powerful tools to help you along the path. If you’re not familiar with the grief process and you’ve suffered a loss to any degree, it’s important to recognize the <a href="https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">“5 Stages of Grief”</a> and allow yourself to emotionally go through it. It’s often not a linear process. <ol><li>Denial &amp; Isolation</li><li>Anger</li><li>Bargaining</li><li>Depression</li><li>Acceptance</li></ol> Thank you Hobbs family for raising outstanding young men who made a real impact on this world. They will forever be missed by so many.

2 Brothers Gone in The Night

I remember my ex-husband telling me one day about 4 years ago that Cody was gay. I couldn’t believe it! To the outside world, this man had the perfect Mormon family. He had a successful career, four darling kids, a beautiful wife, and a nice home.  As I got to know Cody a little better I was intrigued by his story. I couldn’t imagine how hard it would be to have always known you were gay growing up in the LDS church. The Mormon religion has always taken a strong stance on “marriage is between a man and a woman.” My heart broke for Cody because I knew he just wanted to be himself. My heart broke for his now ex-wife because all she wanted was to marry the man of her dreams and to have a family.  Cody has now been married to J.P. for two years. In our interview, they both talk about knowing they were gay from the time they were very young. They talk about dating, marriage, religion, and how they finally found peace within themselves.  This is their story. 

I remember my ex-husband telling me one day about 4 years ago that Cody was gay. I couldn’t believe it! To the outside world, this man had the perfect Mormon family. He had a successful career, four darling kids, a beautiful wife, and a nice home. As I got to know Cody a little better I was intrigued by his story. I couldn’t imagine how hard it would be to have always known you were gay growing up in the LDS church. The Mormon religion has always taken a strong stance on <a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics/same-sex-marriage?lang=eng&amp;_r=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">“marriage is between a man and a woman.” </a>My heart broke for Cody because I knew he just wanted to be himself. My heart broke for his now ex-wife because all she wanted was to marry the man of her dreams and to have a family. Cody has now been married to J.P. for two years. In our interview, they both talk about knowing they were gay from the time they were very young. They talk about dating, marriage, religion, and how they finally found peace within themselves. This is their story.

From Married Mormon to Another Man

Sarah’s family life was altered forever when she lost her Dad to a terrible car accident when she was just 4-years-old. Since that tragic day, her family chooses to thrive in the midst of their loss.  As naive teenagers, Sarah and I loved planning out our future. We made up mock wedding invitations and dreamed big, but life has not turned out quite the way we planned.  At 38, Sarah has never married or had children. It’s not the path she planned, but what she’s found along the path is one of the most beautiful journeys’ I have ever witnessed. Sarah has found great purpose through humanitarian work that has put all of her challenges into perspective.  We sat down to talk about blessings found amidst our grief and how so often the greatest gifts are found along the road less traveled.  Click here to follow Sarah and listen to her podcast, “Are You Happy In Your Heart.” Click here to join the force with Choice Humanitarian. For more stories of hope after loss, click the links below.  Untangling Knots Battling Batten Disease 2 Brothers Gone in the Night A Drunk Driver Killed My Daughter

Sarah’s family life was altered forever when she lost her Dad to a terrible car accident when she was just 4-years-old. Since that tragic day, her family chooses to thrive in the midst of their loss. As naive teenagers, Sarah and I loved planning out our future. We made up mock wedding invitations and dreamed big, but life has not turned out quite the way we planned. At 38, Sarah has never married or had children. It’s not the path she planned, but what she’s found along the path is one of the most beautiful journeys’ I have ever witnessed. Sarah has found great purpose through humanitarian work that has put all of her challenges into perspective. We sat down to talk about blessings found amidst our grief and how so often the greatest gifts are found along the road less traveled. <a href="https://www.sarahjworlton.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Click here to follow Sarah</a> and listen to her podcast, “Are You Happy In Your Heart.” Click here to join the force with <a href="https://www.choicehumanitarian.org/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Choice Humanitarian</a>. For more stories of hope after loss, click the links below. <a href="https://notthewayiplanned.com/untangling-knots/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Untangling Knots</a> <a href="https://notthewayiplanned.com/battling-batten-disease/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Battling Batten Disease</a> <a href="https://notthewayiplanned.com/2-brothers-gone-in-the-night/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">2 Brothers Gone in the Night</a> <a href="https://notthewayiplanned.com/madeline-duskey-was-just-24-years-old-when-she-was-hit-and-killed-by-a-drunk-driver/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">A Drunk Driver Killed My Daughter</a>

Losing Dad and Finding Humanity

I first met Lindsay back in 2008. I had just given birth to my second child and was working as a traffic reporter for a local radio station. Lindsay was the morning show host on this station and I was envious of her career and the single woman life she was living. While she was wearing designer clothes and getting pedicures, I showed up to meetings with spit up on my shirt and bags under my eyes.  Fast forward to 2014. Lindsay had given birth to her first child, Lucy. From an outsiders point of view, I was impressed at her ability to juggle work and Motherhood. Inside, she was dying.  We ran into each other in the bathroom one day and when I asked her how things were going with being a new Mom her face told the story and then she said to me, “Did you ever have scary thoughts after you had your kids?” I paused and said “Well kind of. My daughter Jocelyn was super colicky and I felt like I didn’t bond with her for about the first year and a half.”  Lindsay responded with something that stopped me in my tracks. She said, “No, like have you ever thought about throwing your baby into the fire or leaving her in the snow?” I was stunned.  Was Lindsay a “bad Mom?” No. Lindsay was suffering from a postpartum mood disorder. Specifically postpartum anxiety. Lindsay would NEVER do these things, but having a newborn was so stressful that the unthinkable would pop into her mind and then she would have major anxiety over the fact that that thought had come into her brain.  Truth is that postpartum blues affect up to 80% of new mothers according to mentalhealthamerica.net, but hardly anyone talks about it.  Lindsay is doing a little better second time around. She just gave birth to her second child, a son named Oliver, three months ago. She says knowledge and medication has made all the difference.  To hear more of Lindsay’s story visit episode 3 of the “Not the Way I Planned” podcast or at kslmoms.com 

I first met Lindsay back in 2008. I had just given birth to my second child and was working as a traffic reporter for a local radio station. Lindsay was the morning show host on this station and I was envious of her career and the single woman life she was living. While she was wearing designer clothes and getting pedicures, I showed up to meetings with spit up on my shirt and bags under my eyes. Fast forward to 2014. Lindsay had given birth to her first child, Lucy. From an outsiders point of view, I was impressed at her ability to juggle work and Motherhood. Inside, she was dying. We ran into each other in the bathroom one day and when I asked her how things were going with being a new Mom her face told the story and then she said to me, “Did you ever have scary thoughts after you had your kids?” I paused and said “Well kind of. My daughter Jocelyn was super colicky and I felt like I didn’t bond with her for about the first year and a half.” Lindsay responded with something that stopped me in my tracks. She said, “No, like have you ever thought about throwing your baby into the fire or leaving her in the snow?” I was stunned. Was Lindsay a “bad Mom?” No. Lindsay was suffering from a postpartum mood disorder. Specifically postpartum anxiety. Lindsay would NEVER do these things, but having a newborn was so stressful that the unthinkable would pop into her mind and then she would have major anxiety over the fact that that thought had come into her brain. Truth is that postpartum blues affect up to 80% of new mothers according to <a href="http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/conditions/postpartum-disorders" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">mentalhealthamerica.net,</a> but hardly anyone talks about it. Lindsay is doing a little better second time around. She just gave birth to her second child, a son named Oliver, three months ago. She says knowledge and medication has made all the difference. To hear more of Lindsay’s story visit episode 3 of the “Not the Way I Planned” podcast or at <a href="https://www.ksl.com/?sid=37952928&amp;nid=256" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">kslmoms.com </a>

Motherhood and Postpartum Mood Disorders

I told myself with this episode of the “Not The Way I Planned” podcast that if my story helps one person it is worth sharing. My journey with body image and self-esteem has been a rough one. I’ve battled anorexia, bulimia, and scoliosis. It’s taken a very long time to learn to love who I am, but I’m proof that it’s possible. 

I told myself with this episode of the “Not The Way I Planned” podcast that if my story helps one person it is worth sharing. My journey with body image and self-esteem has been a rough one. I’ve battled anorexia, bulimia, and scoliosis. It’s taken a very long time to learn to love who I am, but I’m proof that it’s possible.

Surviving Anorexia and Scoliosis

No one ever plans to get pregnant as a teenager, but it happened to my cousin Meghann Brimhall.  A mom at 17, divorced by 25, with two kids to raise. Meghann finally found true love after finding herself.  Meghann says she never expected to have a “Brady Bunch” herd of kids, but today she loves her perfectly “imperfect” family.  This is her story. 

No one ever plans to get pregnant as a teenager, but it happened to my cousin Meghann Brimhall. A mom at 17, divorced by 25, with two kids to raise. Meghann finally found true love after finding herself. Meghann says she never expected to have a “Brady Bunch” herd of kids, but today she loves her perfectly “imperfect” family. This is her story.

From Teenage Pregnancy to The Brady Bunch

How precious are these two?! Simon and Louie were born in Hong Kong and mainland China respectively. The orphanage was their home until Katie and Taylor Davis came into their lives.  Katie and Taylor always wanted a big family, but adopting two little boys from China is not how they originally pictured completing their tribe.  The decision has undoubtedly come with trials, but the blessings have been tenfold.  This is their story. A story of love, embracing differences, and learning to trust in God when life doesn’t go quite like we think it should.  For more stories on the trials and blessings of adoption and infertility click the links below.  Finding Happiness After Infertility and Betrayal Instant Family National Down Syndrome Adoption Network

How precious are these two?! Simon and Louie were born in Hong Kong and mainland China respectively. The orphanage was their home until Katie and Taylor Davis came into their lives. Katie and Taylor always wanted a big family, but adopting two little boys from China is not how they originally pictured completing their tribe. The decision has undoubtedly come with trials, but the blessings have been tenfold. This is their story. A story of love, embracing differences, and learning to trust in God when life doesn’t go quite like we think it should. For more stories on the trials and blessings of adoption and infertility click the links below. <a href="https://notthewayiplanned.com/finding-happiness-after-infertility-and-betrayal/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Finding Happiness After Infertility and Betrayal</a> <a href="https://notthewayiplanned.com/instant-family/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Instant Family</a> <a href="https://www.ndsan.org/adoption-process/international-adoption/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">National Down Syndrome Adoption Network</a>

Two Little Boys From China Make Our Family Complete

When I worked with Nicole I thought she had the perfect family and the perfect life. It wasn’t until I ran into her in the bathroom one day that she stunned me with the news that her son was in a full-time treatment facility in a different state.   After a long battle with infertility, her family began with adopting a six-year-old little boy who had already lived through the unimaginable. That was just the beginning in a series of heartbreaking twists and turns that will leave you with a whole lot of hope and a refreshing perspective on what family is really all about.  Nicole and JD Hanks’ story is about finding beauty in the unexpected, riding the waves, and becoming grateful for what life has blessed you with, not with what it has challenged you with.  Their journey continues as they are trying to grow their family through surrogacy. To support the growth of their incredible family click HERE.  If you or someone you know has struggled through infertility or adoption, this is the episode for you. Plus, here’s a little message from Jaden on adoption and finding his forever family. 

When I worked with Nicole I thought she had the perfect family and the perfect life. It wasn’t until I ran into her in the bathroom one day that she stunned me with the news that her son was in a full-time treatment facility in a different state. After a long battle with infertility, her family began with adopting a six-year-old little boy who had already lived through the unimaginable. That was just the beginning in a series of heartbreaking twists and turns that will leave you with a whole lot of hope and a refreshing perspective on what family is really all about. Nicole and JD Hanks’ story is about finding beauty in the unexpected, riding the waves, and becoming grateful for what life has blessed you with, not with what it has challenged you with. Their journey continues as they are trying to grow their family through surrogacy. To support the growth of their incredible family click <a href="https://www.gofundme.com/hanks-surrogacy-journey" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>. If you or someone you know has struggled through infertility or adoption, this is the episode for you. Plus, here’s a little message from Jaden on adoption and finding his forever family.

Instant Family

Pornography. It’s a topic we don’t want to talk about. Something we think will never happen to our children or in our relationships. So how can we stop pornography addiction before it starts? Dr. Tim Hollingshead has created a program called “Free in 13” that has proven results in pulling people out of the trap of pornography.  We can’t be naive to the fact that this destructive content is more easily accessible than it has ever been before and it’s time to have a conversation about it. 

Pornography. It’s a topic we don’t want to talk about. Something we think will never happen to our children or in our relationships. So how can we stop pornography addiction before it starts? Dr. Tim Hollingshead has created a program called <a href="https://www.freein13.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">“Free in 13” </a>that has proven results in pulling people out of the trap of pornography. We can’t be naive to the fact that this destructive content is more easily accessible than it has ever been before and it’s time to have a conversation about it.

Escaping the Trap of Pornography

Sasha’s story is one that I wish no mother ever had to tell. I first met Sasha through a fundraiser for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. She told me about her daughter Kandice. Even though I never got the chance to meet that little girl, she has affected the way I live my life forever. I guarantee she will change yours too. 

Sasha’s story is one that I wish no mother ever had to tell. I first met Sasha through a fundraiser for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. She told me about her daughter Kandice. Even though I never got the chance to meet that little girl, she has affected the way I live my life forever. I guarantee she will change yours too.

Angel Baby

I’ve been divorced for 2 1/2 years. We don’t talk about divorce often around the house. It’s uncomfortable to conjure up those painful memories and the issues that are still difficult to navigate.  After bribing my kids with $10 each (yes, I am that parent) I got them to open up about their feelings on divorce. Overall, I was really surprised by how well they have adjusted, but I was also surprised at some of the issues that really bother them.  If you have kids who are facing divorce or you know parents who have faced this challenge, I hope you will share this podcast with them. In the end, we’ve all learned that divorce is not the end of the world.  For additional episodes to help you get through a divorce, click the links below.  Suicide and Suddenly Single Diving into Divorce

I’ve been divorced for 2 1/2 years. We don’t talk about divorce often around the house. It’s uncomfortable to conjure up those painful memories and the issues that are still difficult to navigate. After bribing my kids with $10 each (yes, I am that parent) I got them to open up about their feelings on divorce. Overall, I was really surprised by how well they have adjusted, but I was also surprised at some of the issues that really bother them. If you have kids who are facing divorce or you know parents who have faced this challenge, I hope you will share this podcast with them. In the end, we’ve all learned that <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Not-End-World-Coping/dp/1582462410" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">divorce is not the end of the world</a>. For additional episodes to help you get through a divorce, click the links below. <a href="https://notthewayiplanned.com/suicide-and-suddenly-single/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Suicide and Suddenly Single</a> <a href="https://notthewayiplanned.com/diving-into-divorce/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Diving into Divorce</a>

My Kids Take on Divorce

Alcohol addiction is something we always think will happen to someone else. We often picture alcoholics as disheveled members of our society drinking out of a bag. Functional alcoholism walks among us more often than we would ever suspect. Kate found herself drinking at home alone on a regular basis and decided to change her life. Today she helps other women secretly battling alcoholism.  She founded “The Sober School” which helps women take control of their lives through a 6-week course that creates community and connection while getting sober.  Kate sat down with me this week to share her powerful story about addiction, shame, and turning your mess into your mission. 

Alcohol addiction is something we always think will happen to someone else. We often picture alcoholics as disheveled members of our society drinking out of a bag. Functional alcoholism walks among us more often than we would ever suspect. Kate found herself drinking at home alone on a regular basis and decided to change her life. Today she helps other women secretly battling alcoholism. She founded <a href="https://thesoberschool.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">“The Sober School”</a> which helps women take control of their lives through a 6-week course that creates community and connection while getting sober. Kate sat down with me this week to share her powerful story about addiction, shame, and turning your mess into your mission.

Alcohol Addiction

Batten Disease shows no mercy. It is one of the cruelest, gut-wrenching diseases I have ever seen. The fact that it happens to children makes Batten Disease one of the most bitter cups one can be handed in life.  This is the story of the Rodgers family and how Batten Disease stole their beautiful daughter Hannah. It’s also a story of navigating through grief, sitting with others through their sorrow, creating change, and never giving up.  For more information on dealing with grief, click the links below.  https://notthewayiplanned.com/angel-baby/https://notthewayiplanned.com/madeline-duskey-was-just-24-years-old-when-she-was-hit-and-killed-by-a-drunk-driver/https://notthewayiplanned.com/untangling-knots/https://notthewayiplanned.com/2-brothers-gone-in-the-night/

Batten Disease shows no mercy. It is one of the cruelest, gut-wrenching diseases I have ever seen. The fact that it happens to children makes Batten Disease one of the most bitter cups one can be handed in life. This is the story of the Rodgers family and how Batten Disease stole their beautiful daughter Hannah. It’s also a story of navigating through grief, sitting with others through their sorrow, creating change, and never giving up. For more information on dealing with grief, click the links below. <ul><li><a href="https://notthewayiplanned.com/angel-baby/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://notthewayiplanned.com/angel-baby/</a></li><li><a href="https://notthewayiplanned.com/madeline-duskey-was-just-24-years-old-when-she-was-hit-and-killed-by-a-drunk-driver/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://notthewayiplanned.com/madeline-duskey-was-just-24-years-old-when-she-was-hit-and-killed-by-a-drunk-driver/</a></li><li><a href="https://notthewayiplanned.com/untangling-knots/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://notthewayiplanned.com/untangling-knots/</a></li><li><a href="https://notthewayiplanned.com/2-brothers-gone-in-the-night/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://notthewayiplanned.com/2-brothers-gone-in-the-night/</a></li></ul>

Battling Batten Disease

When I first met Jenny Steinmetz, she was the type of person that I saw as “perfect.” Perfect marriage, perfect home, perfect kids, going to church kind of girl. As I got to know Jenny a little better I discovered that she had painful struggles that couldn’t be seen on the outside. Jenny has suffered four miscarriages while trying to have a family. Even after she and her husband had those children they so desperately wanted, there were other challenges she didn’t expect. In the end, she’s learned to find happiness even when there isn’t a happy ending. 

When I first met Jenny Steinmetz, she was the type of person that I saw as “perfect.” Perfect marriage, perfect home, perfect kids, going to church kind of girl. As I got to know Jenny a little better I discovered that she had painful struggles that couldn’t be seen on the outside. Jenny has suffered four miscarriages while trying to have a family. Even after she and her husband had those children they so desperately wanted, there were other challenges she didn’t expect. In the end, she’s learned to find happiness even when there isn’t a happy ending.

Finding Happy Even Without a Happy Ending

Nathan Ogden

Nathan Ogden has been paralyzed twice! Today he lives as a quadriplegic, but he hasn’t let his inability to move his body stop him from driving his truck, skydiving, or biking 1200 miles to raise money to buy wheelchairs for people in third-world countries through his non-profit “Chair the Hope.”  This is his story. A story about not allowing life’s challenges to leave you mentally frozen and learning to live your best life and find gratitude no matter what comes your way.  To learn more about Nathan’s non-profit and how you can become involved, click the link below.   https://chairthehope.org/ 

Nathan Ogden has been paralyzed twice! Today he lives as a quadriplegic, but he hasn’t let his inability to move his body stop him from driving his truck, skydiving, or biking 1200 miles to raise money to buy wheelchairs for people in third-world countries through his non-profit “Chair the Hope.” This is his story. A story about not allowing life’s challenges to leave you mentally frozen and learning to live your best life and find gratitude no matter what comes your way. To learn more about Nathan’s non-profit and how you can become involved, click the link below. <a href="https://chairthehope.org/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://chairthehope.org/</a> <a href="" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>

Becoming Unfrozen – The Nathan Ogden Story

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