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The F Plus

Terrible things, read with enthusiasm.

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163: This Beat Is Dope

with: Boots RaingearPortaxxKumquatxopFrank WestLemon reading: i-doser.com Content provided by Slayer of Yaks. Edited by Lemon. Drugs are expensive. Plus they're dangerous and illegal besides, so it should come as no surprise that there are swaths of people who are looking for alternative ways to get their collective swerve on. And with the sometimes predatory nature of internet marketing, it should also come as no surprise that there is a substantial number of people who try to convince themselves that listening to bleeps and boops in their headphones will totally give them the best trip of their lives. This week, we're looking at i-doser.com, a place on the internet where people can attempt just that. There's a company all too happy to take teenagers' money in exchange for those bleeps and bloops, and a forum full of teenagers who want to write about how high they are. The results are so much fun that the episode ended up over an hour after considerable editing. This week, The F Plus finally finds some jenkem. Music used: My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult - Daisy Chain 4 Satan FKA Twigs - Two Weeks

1hr 32mins

24 Jan 2015

Rank #1

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166: Saturday Is Alright For Chickenfighting

with: Boots RaingearBunnybreadJimmyfranksAdam BozarthLemon reading: landcforum.comultimateshoulderrides.com Content provided by Dole. Edited by Boots Raingear. Everyone wants to have a lover they can trust. Someone with whom they'll feel admired, safe, and unique, and someone who will pick them up when they are down. However, some specific people on the internet mean that literally. We're exploring the "lift and carry" fetish, a predilection of (almost entirely) men who are looking for (almost entirely) petite women to carry them on their shoulders. What's the meaning of this? I dunno for certain, but I'll assume it's British. This week, The F Plus avoids mentioning that Creed song. Music used: Jackie Wilson - Higher and Higher Dr. Hook - Carry me Carrie

1hr 21mins

17 Feb 2015

Rank #2

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295: A Role In The Sack

with: Achilles' HeeliesFrank WestAdam BozarthThe InternLemon reading: BlueMoonRoleplaying.com Content provided by Shell Game,Girlkisser. Edited by Lemon. Sex! Sure, it's a thing that people pretend to enjoy, but when it comes down to it, it turns out very few people seem to like the actual physical act. As in all things, it's up to The Internet to this into a fulfilling experience, and the community over at Blue Moon Roleplaying Forums is really trying their best in this regard. This week, The F Plus can't get a job in Venus City. Music used: Nouvelle Vague - Master & Servant Lobsterdust - Do Ya Think Deceptiback? Chapters provided by ikaribattousai

1hr 18mins

23 Jan 2019

Rank #3

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261: Ask Reddit And You Shall Receive Reddit

with: Boots RaingearFrank WestAdam BozarthAchilles' HeeliesSquiddyLemon reading: reddit.com Content provided by Captain Laser Pants. Edited by Boots Raingear. With a subscribed userbase of 18 million, r/AskReddit works with a simple premise: One person asks a question, other people answer it. And that open-ended concept means means Reddit can do what it's best at: Dim your view of human worth. It is a series of threads posted in by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. This week, The F Plus ignores the court order and visits Fun Grandma again. Music used: The Smiths - Ask The Chameleons - In Answer

1hr 8mins

16 Sep 2017

Rank #4

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262: WikiPlow

with: Boots RaingearJimmyfranksJack ChickAchilles' HeeliesLemon reading: wikiporno.org Content provided by Sham bam bamina!. Edited by Jimmyfranks. The website Wikiporno is fun to say. In addition to that, it's a Media Wiki site where, as best as we can figure, three guys lovingly catalog all of the pornography they have seen, and they've seen a lot of a pornography! This week, we start principal photography for Butt F Plus. Music used: Billy Squier - The Stroke Clarence Carter - Strokin'

1hr 24mins

26 Sep 2017

Rank #5

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315: A Representative Sample Of Fetlife

with: Boots RaingearAdam BozarthPortaxxCheapskateLemon reading: fetlife.com Content provided by Montrith. Edited by Boots Raingear. Over six years ago, Montrith gave us a Fetlife document. So thanks, Montrith. This week, The F Plus is really into Snugglefuxxx. Music used: Rheostatics - Here Come The Wolves Britney Spears - I'm A Slave 4 U

1hr 12mins

11 Dec 2019

Rank #6

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156: Auto Moronic Asphyxiation

with: Boots RaingearKumquatxopJimmyfranksJohn ToastFrank WestLemon reading: answers.yahoo.comsexwithcars.comexhaustsmokelovers.createmybb3.com Content provided by BomberJacket. Edited by Jimmyfranks. Internet eroticism is a varied, confusing, and repulsive subject. To that end, this is an episode about people who have sex with cars. Confused? Well, if you listen to this entire episode, you'll still be confused. And more than a little grossed out. But hopefully entertained. This week, The F Plus is using Jason's email address. Music used: Hank Williams Jr- Canyonero Billy Ocean- Get Out of my Dreams (Get into my Car) Chapters provided by ikaribattousai

1hr 3mins

27 Nov 2014

Rank #7

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267: We Resentfully Attend

with: Boots RaingearFrank WestNutshell GulagZarlaLemon reading: offbeatbride.com Content provided by Cheapskate. Edited by Lemon. As the previous episode on this subject (#129) can attest to, the people who blog about their weddings on Offbeat Bride are really into nerdy things. And it's okay if you don't believe me on this, because they'll be more than happy to provide evidence. Much more evidence than you could ever possibly need! Do you like it when people reference other things? These people do! This week, The F Plus has a hard time picking a funniest moment, since we are comedy writers. Music used: Plastic Bertrand - Ca Plane Pour Moi X - The World's A Mess It's In My Kiss

1hr 16mins

19 Nov 2017

Rank #8

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42: Suffer The Little Children

with: Boots RaingearJohn ToastKumquatxopPortaxxVictor LaszloLemonTiff Dynamite reading: livejournal.com Content provided by Portaxx. Edited by Lemon. Most will agree that the decision to have a child is not one to be taken lightly, and in a modern world with new and complicated parenting concerns, some will remain resolute to never have children at all. But then there's a subsection of those people who will elect to be really annoying about it. We're tackling the livejournal community of cf_hardcore, a group of charisma-challenged individuals who feel they are constantly being persecuted by breeders. This week on The F Plus, we're finding new compound words to use with "crotch". Music used: Camper Van Beethoven - We Eat Your Children The Alkaholics - Funny Style Mojo Nixon - Transylvanian Xmas Ratatat - Party With Children FEAR - We Destroy The Family


4 Apr 2011

Rank #9

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158: I Call It The Vaporhighzer

with: KumquatxopFrank WestJohn ToastIsfahanLemon reading: highdeas.com Content provided by Montrith. Edited by Isfahan. Conventional thinking leads to conventional problems. And when a conventional problem needs an unconventional solution, you'll need to step outside of your own mind to really understand the universal problems. And maybe that all looked like gibberish to you, but I'll bet it makes a lot more sense you get super duper high first. At least, that's the typical first (and second and only) step taken by the people of HighDeas.com; a place where the marijuana-inclined can gather and discuss what geniuses they all are except there's no way to prove it. This week, The F Plus makes a burrito turducken. Music used: Afroman - Because I Got High Ras Matthew - Ganja in My Brain

1hr 21mins

14 Dec 2014

Rank #10

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296: SWORDS!!!

with: Boots RaingearIsfahanNutshell GulagAchilles' HeeliesLemonTommy reading: budk.com Content provided by Cat Examiner. Edited by Boots Raingear. The world can be a scary place, and that's why the folks at BUDK Worldwide are there, day after day, to use that fear as a tool to sell cheap worthless crap to rubes with self esteem problems. We're here for the swords, but there's a lot of categories on offer here and it's easy to get distracted. This week, The F Plus opens the box and BAM THE FREAKING BANKAI SWORD OF ICHIGOS Music used: The Jesus Lizard - The Art of Self-Defense Twisted Sister - Under The Blade Chapters provided by ikaribattousai

1hr 19mins

3 Feb 2019

Rank #11

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155: The Search For Terrestrial Intelligence

with: Boots RaingearJack ChickFrank WestAdam BozarthLou FernandezLemon reading: alien-ufos.comspaceofjoyce.tripod.com Content provided by Caroline. Edited by Boots Raingear. There's a whole lot of planets out there, but this one's mainly nimrods. We're looking at the curiously named alien-ufos.com, a very popular forum for true believers to discuss the various things aliens did to their butts. This week, The F Plus wants to get abucted (we will not state our reasons). Music used: Kool Keith - Aliens Hüsker Dü - Books About UFOs

1hr 25mins

16 Nov 2014

Rank #12

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40: I'm So Lonesome I Could Post On This Forum

with: Boots RaingearIsfahanJack ChickKumquatxopJohn ToastFrank WestLemon reading: alonelylife.com Despite various expensive websites strongly promoting their "social" aspects, the fact remains that internet forums are a fairly antisocial experience. You sign in with an alternate identity, type some words into a box, and hope that other people might do the same in response. We visited alonelylife.com, where forum users kvetch about their problems meeting people, chime enthusiastically about how much better their e-friends are, and trade terrible poetry, despite having never learned how a haiku actually works. This week on The F Plus, seven will be the loneliest number you could ever do. Music used: White Hassle - I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry Ben Harper - Another Lonely Day Missy Elliot - 4 My People Muckafurgason - Slut In High School Dewey Cox - (I Hate You) Big Daddy Rod Stewart - Tonights The Night [Gonna Be Alright] Johnny Cash & Nick Cave - I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry The Ravonettes - I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry

1hr 3mins

13 Mar 2011

Rank #13

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33: A Frottage In The Woods

with: AcierocolotlPortaxxBoots RaingearLemonIsfahanJohn ToastProtonJon reading: heroichomosex.org Jesus! Are you back finally!? Yes we are and thank you very much for asking. The F Plus finally shambles out of its involuntary vacation to bring you unpleasantness you'll probably wish you never learned about. What is it this time? Frottage. Man-on-man, dong on dong frottage, the way that it was intended, at least from one very crazy person's perspective. This week, The F Plus brings you content you should plug your nose for. Music used: Biz Markie - Just A Friend Scandal - The Warrior


28 Jan 2011

Rank #14

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48: Weighted Companion Dudes

with: Jack ChickBoots RaingearNutshell GulagJimmyfranksBunnybreadJohn ToastLou FernandezLemon reading: okcupid.com Nearly 50 episodes in, and it's time for The F Plus' first crossover. Lou Fernandez (of the Lou Reads podcast) is no stranger to terrible writing on the internet, but how will he respond when he's stuck in a room full of F Plus readers? Moreover, how will the F Plus readers respond to reading the okCupid profiles of the internet's most irritating nerds? The results shouldn't surprise you! This week, The F Plus looks at people who cannot possibly have sexually transmitted diseases. Music used: Al Green - I'm So Tired Of Being Alone Harry Nilsson - One REM - Romance


21 May 2011

Rank #15

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269: So, I Guess I'll Just Keep Holding Out For A Hero

with: JimmyfranksFrank WestJohn ToastPortaxxLemon reading: worldsuperheroregistry.comtherlsh.comhowtokillasuperhero.net Content provided by Kanyesutra. Edited by Jimmyfranks. “Real Life Superheroes” is a somewhat confusing term, because it describes actual living human beings who wear costumes and write bios in the third person espousing their worldview and then... I mean, well what is “heroism” really? Is signing up for an account on the superhero forums and then getting into a flamewar with a troll account called The White Power a form of heroism? No? Okay then, how about just whatever this is. Music used: Bonnie Tyler - Holding out for a Hero Spin Doctors - Jimmy Olsen's Blues

1hr 16mins

5 Dec 2017

Rank #16

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170: Tickle Me Weirdo

with: Jack ChickVictor LaszloBoots RaingearFrank WestAdam BozarthLemon reading: tickle-brits.co.ukticklingforum.com Content provided by Caroline. Edited by Adam Bozarth. Why do we like to laugh? A lot of reasons, really, but let's just go with "because it feels good". But if something just "feels good", does that mean that people on the internet will turn it into a fetish? Well, yes of course. It exists, so people on the internet turn it into a fetish. For this episode, we're examining the world of tickling enthusiasts; it's an overwhelmingly British community of people for whom "coochie coo" plays a disturbingly important role in their lives. This week, The F Plus lives in a Marxist Utopia. Music used: Jack Shaindlin - I'm Tickled Pink Squeeze - Slap and Tickle

1hr 33mins

20 Mar 2015

Rank #17

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258: Do Not Pass Go

with: Boots RaingearSTOGJimmyfranksJohn ToastAchilles' HeeliesLemon reading: thegamecrafter.com Content provided by Spooks. Edited by Jimmyfranks. The creators and visionaries over at The Game Crafter have some innovative new board and card games to sell you, and they're not hampered by such trivialities as marketability, distribution, is this game any good, and am I a cretin with an axe to grind about feminism and letting that motivate every aspect about myself. Yeah, it's those kind of games. This week, Joey likes. Music used: Motörhead - The Game Barry White - Don't Play Games

1hr 14mins

28 Jul 2017

Rank #18

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153: What A Rip Off

with: Boots RaingearPortaxxJohn ToastSTOGAdam BozarthLemon reading: ripoffreport.com Content provided by LADY FRENZY. Edited by Lemon. With so many websites run by people with dubious ethics (take this one for example), we've been introduced to RipoffReport.com; an Alexa ranked website where the people who've been wronged can let the world know. With nearly 2 million reports filed, these people have a story to tell, but the story starts and ends with duh. This week, The F Plus wants to talk about your MILFaholism. Music used: Slobberbone - Piece of Crap (Neil Young cover) Rocket From The Crypt - Panic Scam

1hr 4mins

2 Nov 2014

Rank #19

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268: How To Win At ASCII Art

with: Frank WestIsfahanJack ChickSTOGLemon reading: gamefaqs.com Content provided by Girlkisser,Shell Game,Yavuz Sultan Salim. Edited by Isfahan. Since 1995, GameFAQs has served as a hub for video game walkthroughs and strategies. While this is of little concern to our podcast, the fact that this website also contains a forum where video game enthusiasts can share their thoughts concerns us. Having now read the thoughts they feel are worth sharing, we're simply concerned. This week, The F Plus comes down with a bad case of Frenchman's Leg. Music used: Boccherini - String Quintet in E Major (3rd Movement) Bach - Orchestral Suite No. 3 in D Major (Air)

1hr 18mins

26 Nov 2017

Rank #20