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Cover image of The Goalmouth: Bite-size soccer news

The Goalmouth: Bite-size soccer news

The Goalmouth is a five-minute update of the latest soccer news delivered every weekday morning by 7 a.m. eastern time. A coproduction of Howler Magazine, Dirty Tackle, and the Total Soccer Show.

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The best episodes ranked using user listens.

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Martinique>USA, Wayne Rooney's pajama secrets, and a scare for Ajax

The U.S. starts the Gold Cup with a draw, Rooney and Lukaku trade places, Chelsea land Rudiger, and positive news after a scary moment for an Ajax player. For more on today's stories, click here: fifa.wtf/2eECYv1 And subscribe to The Goalmouth newsletter here: fifa.wtf/2cS0Z5V

4mins

10 Jul 2017

Rank #1

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Messi’s new contract will make him even richer—but not as rich as Steph Curry

American sons of international superstars, Messi’s new contract will make him even richer but not as rich as Steph Curry, a brief transfer news round-up, and two shocking losses For more on today's stories, subscribe to The Goalmouth newsletter: fifa.wtf/2cS0Z5V

5mins

5 Jul 2017

Rank #2

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USMNT Scrapes Past Martinique, RIP Chuck Blazer

The US Men’s National Team continues to make everyone nervous, Chuck Blazer passes away, Tiemoue Bakayoko is joining Chelsea for the 13th time this transfer window, Riyad Mahrez might finally be on the move, and David Villa is the best player in Major League soccer. For more on today's stories, subscribe to The Goalmouth newsletter: fifa.wtf/2cS0Z5V.

5mins

13 Jul 2017

Rank #3

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The Garcia Report (dun dun dun!) and prosecutions in the Hillsborough case

The Garcia Report, prosecutions (finally) in the Hillsborough Disaster, Toronto FC is the champion of Canada, streaming soccer news for the Premier League and Champions League, and Confederations Cup and UEFA under-21 updates For more on today's stories, subscribe to The Goalmouth newsletter: fifa.wtf/2cS0Z5V

5mins

28 Jun 2017

Rank #4

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Germany just keep winning, John Terry has a new team, and Blatter will be back

Germany win the Confederations Cup! Dom Dwyer flips for the red, white, and blue! John Terry has a new club! Leo Messi gets married! And Sepp Blatter just can’t stay away! For more on today's stories, click here: fifa.wtf/2eECYv1 And subscribe to The Goalmouth newsletter here: fifa.wtf/2cS0Z5V

4mins

3 Jul 2017

Rank #5

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Real Madrid's transfer freeze and Bayern Munich's bad omen

Real Madrid’s transfer freeze! Ronaldo’s bundles of joy! Germany’s Confederations Cup triumph! Bayern Munich’s bad omen! And Paolo Maldini has retired… again! For more on today's stories, subscribe to The Goalmouth newsletter: fifa.wtf/2cS0Z5V

5mins

30 Jun 2017

Rank #6

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Manchester United and Everton Agree on a Deal for Romelu Lukaku, Except Maybe They Didn't?

Manchester United might be parting ways with Wayne Rooney, may still be interested in Alvaro Morata, and may possibly have signed Romelu Lukaku, a cataclysmic combo could soon be reigning supreme in Turkey, Americans on the move, and the Kenny Saief Hype Train will be idling at the station for the entirety of The Gold Cup. For more on today's stories, subscribe to The Goalmouth newsletter: fifa.wtf/2cS0Z5V

6mins

6 Jul 2017

Rank #7

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Gold Cup knockouts, Women's Euros, plus Zlatan and Ronaldo staying put?

Reinforcements fly in the for the Gold Cup quarterfinals! The Women’s Euros begin! Milan are buying all the players! Zlatan turns down the Galaxy! And Jose Mourinho’s mission impossible! For more on today's stories, click here: fifa.wtf/2eECYv1 And subscribe to The Goalmouth newsletter here: fifa.wtf/2cS0Z5V

4mins

17 Jul 2017

Rank #8

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When a nil-nil draw that feels like a 3–0 victory (because it was)

Florent Malouda and French Guiana find yet another way to make a mockery of CONCACAF, US Open Cupdate, Karim Benzema wins a victory in his blackmail case, even I can juggle more times than Real Madrid’s new signing, more transfer news, Leicester City’s owners in trouble with the Thai government, and a club announces for the first time that it will be paying its male and female players equally. For more on today's stories, subscribe to The Goalmouth newsletter: fifa.wtf/2cS0Z5V.

4mins

12 Jul 2017

Rank #9

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Lukaku's Medical, Mkhitaryan's Diet & a Braille Kit

Lukaku transfer update! The world’s most dedicated fan! Henrikh Mkhitaryan tries the Wayne Rooney summer diet plan! The North American 2026 World Cup bid is on! And the world’s first braille kit! For more on today's stories, subscribe to The Goalmouth newsletter: fifa.wtf/2cS0Z5V

5mins

7 Jul 2017

Rank #10

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Alexandre Lacazette socred in a friendly and is therefore brilliant

Ryan Bailey delivers today's bite-sized morsels of soccer news, which includes Neymar's new tattoo, Gold Cup action and fancy seats in Bolton. For more on today's stories, subscribe to The Goalmouth newsletter: fifa.wtf/2cS0Z5V

5mins

14 Jul 2017

Rank #11

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Transfer gossip alert!

Daryl Grove went all in on the transfer gossip for today's Goalmouth. He regrets nothing.

3mins

11 Jul 2017

Rank #12

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Shock Results in the US Open Cup, Ball Don't Lie for Chile Against Portugal

The US Open cup keeps hope alive, Chile do the same in the Confederations Cup, LAFC’s theoretical roster continues to theoretically expand, the transfer market keeps on thriving, surprisingly favorable contracts in Russia, and witch doctors in the Portuguese Liga. For more on today's stories, subscribe to The Goalmouth newsletter: fifa.wtf/2cS0Z5V

7mins

29 Jun 2017

Rank #13

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Liverpool conduct the worst piece of transfer business in history

Christian Pulisic is up for an award! Oscar got a huge ban! The Confederations Cup remains vaguely interesting! Liverpool performed the worst piece of transfer business in history! And Sergio Ramos is really really bad at tax evasion. For more on today's stories, subscribe to The Goalmouth newsletter: fifa.wtf/2cS0Z5V

5mins

23 Jun 2017

Rank #14

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VAR Drama in the Confederations Cup, Zlatan's Clothing (At the Very Least) is Heading to LA

Video Assistant Referees are the new Heath Ledger, Cristiano Ronaldo does Cristiano Ronaldo things, Zlatan lets his clothes do the talking, a couple of Americans might be getting new European clubs, and we take a moment to remember Tony DiCicco. For more on today's stories, subscribe to The Goalmouth newsletter: fifa.wtf/2cS0Z5V

6mins

22 Jun 2017

Rank #15

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Real Madrid stars charged with tax fraud, blackmail, and perjury

Even more legal trouble for Real Madrid stars, Manchester United cleared of wrongdoing in the Pogba scandal, two Red Bull teams will be allowed to play in the Champions League, Boca Juniors wins the league, and Oscar causes a bench-clearing brawl For more on today's stories, subscribe to The Goalmouth newsletter: fifa.wtf/2cS0Z5V

6mins

21 Jun 2017

Rank #16

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Ronaldo and Modric in court, the manager who was fired in verse

Christos FC shocks DC United in the U.S. Open Cup, Canada’s own Freddy Adu (seriously, this will never get old), two Real Madrid players in court, the manager who was fired with a poem, and Howler gives you the soccer ball phone Howler made a funny parody video. Watch it here: https://fifa.wtf/2s7nqar For more on today's stories, subscribe to The Goalmouth newsletter: fifa.wtf/2cS0Z5V

6mins

14 Jun 2017

Rank #17

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Secret MLS/USSF deal, Beckham buys Miami land

Secret MLS/USSF deal, Beckham buys Miami land, North Korean forced labor on Russian World Cup stadium, England fans banned for making Nazi gestures, Arda Turan assaults journalist and retires from international soccer, and Sergio Ramos is a pitch invader vigilante Secret MLS/USSF deal, Beckham buys Miami land, North Korean forced labor on Russian World Cup stadium, England fans banned for making Nazi gestures, Arda Turan assaults journalist and retires from international soccer, and Sergio Ramos is a pitch invader vigilante

8mins

7 Jun 2017

Rank #18

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Pulisic's new Bosz, Qatar 2022 World Cup questions, remembering Cheick Tiote

It's Daryl Grove with today's soccer news: Pulisic has a new boss, 2022 World Cup in doubt, Arsenal get a new left back, Liverpool get reported, and remembering Cheick Tiote. Make your inbox more soccer-savvy by subscribing to the glorious Goalmouth newsletter: fifa.wtf/2cS0Z5V

5mins

6 Jun 2017

Rank #19

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Real Madrid make history, Pulisic saves the day, and Hazard gets hurt

Real Madrid make Champions League history, Christian Pulisic saves the day, Mallory Pugh breaks her duck, Eden Hazard breaks his ankle, and Arsenal lose a club legend. For more on today's stories, click here: fifa.wtf/2eECYv1 And subscribe to The Goalmouth newsletter here: fifa.wtf/2cS0Z5V

4mins

5 Jun 2017

Rank #20