I think this might be the best episode of this podcast so far. I didn’t realize that until I listened to it this morning for the first time straight through. There are within it are so many insights and clues about being human, about learning and growing, and about why so many people are unhappy. And like all of Season 9, it’s all thanks to my three favorite creatures of all time, my kids. Today they cover topics such as… What it means to be an adult Being free to try things and to make mistakes Everyone wants to be trustworthy but mostly we can’t trust The pitfall of “all or nothing” thinking The value of role models And what is it that people need in order to grow up to be happy, resourceful, and able to face the challenges of life? Language alert – some of us couldn’t talk about this topic without liberal use of the F word. Consider yourself warned…. this is the real deal. Whatever, whatever, Amen.  Share on Facebook

I think this might be the best episode of this podcast so far. I didn’t realize that until I listened to it this morning for the first time straight through. There are within it are so many insights and clues about being human, about learning and growing, and about why so many people are unhappy. And like all of Season 9, it’s all thanks to my three favorite creatures of all time, my kids. Today they cover topics such as… What it means to be an adult Being free to try things and to make mistakes Everyone wants to be trustworthy but mostly we can’t trust The pitfall of “all or nothing” thinking The value of role models And what is it that people need in order to grow up to be happy, resourceful, and able to face the challenges of life? Language alert – some of us couldn’t talk about this topic without liberal use of the F word. Consider yourself warned…. this is the real deal. Whatever, whatever, Amen. <a href="http://whateveramen.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/feet.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a> <a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/teens/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/teens/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Share on Facebook</a>

Teens

1993 (no necks were broken in the taking of this picture)Moving right along with all the bad subjects, today’s episode is about mistakes! Parents’ mistakes in particular, but really just the overall joy of being wrong and living in a horrifying world.Have fun with it! Amy Childs | Happiness ConsultantShare on Facebook

1993 (no necks were broken in the taking of this picture)Moving right along with all the bad subjects, today’s episode is about mistakes! Parents’ mistakes in particular, but really just the overall joy of being wrong and living in a horrifying world.Have fun with it! Amy Childs | Happiness Consultant<a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/mistakes-parents-make/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/mistakes-parents-make/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Share on Facebook</a>

Mistakes Parents Make

BlakeMy guest today is Blake Boles, director of Unschool Adventures and Zero-Tuition College, staff at Not Back to School Camp, author of College Without High School and working on the not-yet-published (you can help with this part!) book Better Than College.I can tell you this: anyone interested in how small people can turn into happy productive large people, without going to school, will love hearing about what Blake is up to.  (I’m sayin’!)And anyone who wants to help Blake with the things that he is up to can send a bit of money here – and guarantee an early copy of his new book to boot!I have to ask: what’s not to love about any of this? That’s right, nothing.Chris drove us all the way from Austin to Silver City.    We like him. And while we’re on the topic of generous, cheerful and adorable 20-something men, our musical treat of the day comes to us from Chris’s band – The World Is Not Flat.  Chris (and his friend Spencer) helped Nikiah and I cover about 1000 miles of our last adventure, and along the way made a hand-decorated cover for his new CD.  Ah, the joys of craigslist rideshare! Again… what’s not to love? Keep up the good work y’all. Amy Share on Facebook

BlakeMy guest today is <a href="http://www.blakeboles.com/bio/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Blake Boles</a>, director of <a href="http://www.unschooladventures.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Unschool Adventures</a> and <a href="http://www.ztcollege.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Zero-Tuition College</a>, staff at <a href="http://nbtsc.org/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Not Back to School Camp</a>, author of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/College-Without-High-School-Teenagers/dp/0865716552" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">College Without High School</a> and working on the not-yet-published (you can <a href="http://www.indiegogo.com/btc" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">help </a>with this part!) book <a href="http://www.indiegogo.com/btc" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Better Than College</a>.I can tell you this: anyone interested in how small people can turn into happy productive large people, without going to school, will love hearing about what Blake is up to.  (I’m sayin’!)And anyone who wants to help Blake with the things that he is up to can<a href="http://www.indiegogo.com/btc" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> send a bit of money here</a> – and guarantee an early copy of his new book to boot!I have to ask: what’s not to love about any of this? That’s right, nothing.<a href="http://whateveramen.com/p42-adventures-and-opportunities-for-unschooling-teens/the-world-is-not-flat/" rel="attachment wp-att-1665 nofollow" target="_blank"></a>Chris drove us all the way from Austin to Silver City. We like him. And while we’re on the topic of generous, cheerful and adorable 20-something men, our musical treat of the day comes to us from Chris’s band – <a href="http://theworldisnotflat.bandcamp.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The World Is Not Flat</a>.  Chris (and his friend Spencer) helped Nikiah and I cover about 1000 miles of our last adventure, and along the way made a hand-decorated cover for his new CD.  Ah, the joys of <a href="http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/rid/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">craigslist rideshare</a>! Again… what’s not to love? Keep up the good work y’all. Amy <a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/p42-adventures-and-opportunities-for-unschooling-teens/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/p42-adventures-and-opportunities-for-unschooling-teens/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Share on Facebook</a>

P42: Adventures and Opportunities for Unschooling Teens

On Kara Tennis’s website, part of her bio reads: “I also have four fascinating grown children who all trust me (thanks to years of humbling myself gallingly in order to learn from them and heal my patterns of unconscious parenting). ” I can attest that all of this is true (that her four children are fascinating, that they trust her, and that Kara has had to humble herself gallingly in order for this to be the case). There is hardly a parent I’ve ever known who wouldn’t be wise to learn from her example.  (I mean, if you want to learn from your kids and heal yourself, that is.  And I know all too well that many don’t.) Thanks Kara, for being honest and real, as always.  And thanks Devon Sproule for sharing your music with us again, this time with the tune Healthy Parents, Happy Couple. Among the most agonizing kinds of growth that I’ve had to do, in facing up to who I am and what’s inside of me, is in relation to my kids. There’s such a strong desire to do well by them, such a strong desire for them to love and respect me. But the deep, real, person-to-person kind of love and respect happened only from intense honesty, willingness to look over and over at my words and actions, and willingness to see myself through their eyes and their experience. Almost nothing in my life has been more humbling and difficult and slow and rewarding. – Kara Tennis Share on Facebook

On Kara Tennis’s website, part of her bio reads: “I also have four fascinating grown children who all trust me (thanks to years of humbling myself gallingly in order to learn from them and heal my patterns of unconscious parenting). ” I can attest that all of this is true (that her four children are fascinating, that they trust her, and that Kara has had to humble herself gallingly in order for this to be the case). There is hardly a parent I’ve ever known who wouldn’t be wise to learn from her example.  (I mean, if you want to learn from your kids and heal yourself, that is.  And I know all too well that many don’t.) Thanks Kara, for being honest and real, as always.  And thanks <a href="http://www.devonsproule.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Devon Sproule</a> for sharing your music with us again, this time with the tune Healthy Parents, Happy Couple. Among the most agonizing kinds of growth that I’ve had to do, in facing up to who I am and what’s inside of me, is in relation to my kids. There’s such a strong desire to do well by them, such a strong desire for them to love and respect me. But the deep, real, person-to-person kind of love and respect happened only from intense honesty, willingness to look over and over at my words and actions, and willingness to see myself through their eyes and their experience. Almost nothing in my life has been more humbling and difficult and slow and rewarding. – Kara Tennis <a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/p41-owning-up-to-your-kids-about-who-you-are/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/p41-owning-up-to-your-kids-about-who-you-are/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Share on Facebook</a>

P41: Owning up to Your Kids About Who You Are

In the last of my four recorded conversations with Jonathan this week, today we made an attempt to examine the effects that parenting has had on my emotional growth.  We then stammered our way through topics like why people become parents, whether parenting is similar to or the opposite of being in a coma, and whether it possible to make the transition to independence gracefully. We aren’t confident that we answered these questions with any success whatsoever.  But if you listen all the way to the end you’ll get to hear a really goofy song by Fred Van Vactor – a reward for your patience. (Or, you can just skip to the end.) Better luck next time, Amy Share on Facebook

In the last of my four recorded conversations with Jonathan this week, today we made an attempt to examine the effects that parenting has had on my emotional growth.  We then stammered our way through topics like why people become parents, whether parenting is similar to or the opposite of being in a coma, and whether it possible to make the transition to independence gracefully. We aren’t confident that we answered these questions with any success whatsoever.  But if you listen all the way to the end you’ll get to hear a really goofy song by <a href="http://fredvanvactor.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Fred Van Vactor</a> – a reward for your patience. (Or, you can just skip to the end.) Better luck next time, Amy <a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/p40-why-do-people-have-kids-and-other-unanswerable-questions/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/p40-why-do-people-have-kids-and-other-unanswerable-questions/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Share on Facebook</a>

P40: Why Do People Have Kids? (and other unanswerable questions)

So there’s this “funny sign” out there that says Teenagers- tired of being harassed by your stupid parents? Act now! Move out, get a job, pay your bills! While you still know everything!  And I really hate it. So I called Kara up to rant about it, and (if you have the stomach for it) you can listen to bits of my tirade here. But first you’ll hear a little bit about my own regrets, mistakes, grief and sorrow… so in case you didn’t know it already- it’s not like I think I’m so perfect or anything. ‘Cause I sure ain’t. And then at the end Anders Hyatt reminds us to “be honest, if you can….” Which seems like a really good place to start. xoAmy Share on Facebook

So there’s this “funny sign” out there that says Teenagers- tired of being harassed by your stupid parents? Act now! Move out, get a job, pay your bills! While you still know everything! And I really hate it. So I called Kara up to rant about it, and (if you have the stomach for it) you can listen to bits of my tirade here. But first you’ll hear a little bit about my own regrets, mistakes, grief and sorrow… so in case you didn’t know it already- it’s not like I think I’m so perfect or anything. ‘Cause I sure ain’t. And then at the end <a href="http://www.myspace.com/andershyattmusic" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Anders Hyatt</a> reminds us to “be honest, if you can….” Which seems like a really good place to start. xoAmy <a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/c39-passive-aggressive-parenting/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/c39-passive-aggressive-parenting/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Share on Facebook</a>

P39: Passive Aggressive Parenting

In what may be my last podcast for a while, we have not only the wonderful Kara Tennis joining me today but another special guest too – but you’ll have to listen (very carefully) if you want to hear anything she has to say. After an important discussion about wrinkles, the conversation turned to more frivolous things like the one thing that all people can (and I wish they would, repeatedly) say to their parents: “It’s not my job to make you feel better.” And other things. And then I play a song by Tom Chapin that always, always, always makes me cry. Goodnightiloveyouseeyouinthemorning, Amy  Share on Facebook

In what may be my last podcast for a while, we have not only the wonderful Kara Tennis joining me today but another special guest too – but you’ll have to listen (very carefully) if you want to hear anything she has to say. After an important discussion about wrinkles, the conversation turned to more frivolous things like the one thing that all people can (and I wish they would, repeatedly) say to their parents: “It’s not my job to make you feel better.” And other things. And then I play a song by <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Family-Tree-Tom-Chapin/dp/B00005OKSR" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Tom Chapin</a> that always, always, always makes me cry. Goodnightiloveyouseeyouinthemorning, Amy <a href="http://whateveramen.com/p38-kara-helps-me-talk-about-my-year-off-and-other-things/kara-amy-skyline-2/" rel="attachment wp-att-1246 nofollow" target="_blank"></a> <a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/p38-kara-helps-me-talk-about-my-year-off-and-other-things/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/p38-kara-helps-me-talk-about-my-year-off-and-other-things/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Share on Facebook</a>

P38: Kara Helps Me Talk About My Year Off (and other things)

Daniel is about to go off traveling again, and so am I – so it was a lucky thing that we found a time to record this final episode of Season Six – in spite of noisy NYC construction and a sketchy skype connection. In today’s conversation Daniel talks about what motivates people to grow, the evolution of humanity, what parents can do when they see their mistakes, and why he might sound upset when he’s in a car careering toward a cliff. Although Daniel and I don’t always see or articulate things in the same way, I am so grateful for the courageous work he has done and continues to do – not only for himself, but for the planet, for the world’s children and for the child inside each one of us. I also want to take a moment to thank all of you who’ve listened to all 16 episodes of this Season Six.  I commend you for taking the time to hear, think, talk and breathe about so many painful and challenging ideas.  I’m pretty sure it hasn’t always been easy for any of us. I don’t usually know what the point of this podcast is, but I sometimes have a bit of hope that it might somehow help the world come closer to being a safe, nurturing and supportive place in which human beings can thrive.  I don’t know how these things work, but I s’pose a girl can always dream.   Thanks for being a part of that journey. Amy Share on Facebook

Daniel is about to go off traveling again, and so am I – so it was a lucky thing that we found a time to record this final episode of Season Six – in spite of noisy NYC construction and a sketchy skype connection. In today’s conversation Daniel talks about what motivates people to grow, the evolution of humanity, what parents can do when they see their mistakes, and why he might sound upset when he’s in a car careering toward a cliff. Although Daniel and I don’t always see or articulate things in the same way, I am so grateful for the courageous work he has done and continues to do – not only for himself, but for the planet, for the world’s children and for the child inside each one of us. I also want to take a moment to thank all of you who’ve listened to all 16 episodes of this Season Six.  I commend you for taking the time to hear, think, talk and breathe about so many painful and challenging ideas.  I’m pretty sure it hasn’t always been easy for any of us. I don’t usually know what the point of this podcast is, but I sometimes have a bit of hope that it might somehow help the world come closer to being a safe, nurturing and supportive place in which human beings can thrive.  I don’t know how these things work, but I s’pose a girl can always dream.   Thanks for being a part of that journey. Amy <a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/p37-careening-toward-the-cliff/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/p37-careening-toward-the-cliff/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Share on Facebook</a>

P37: Careening Toward the Cliff

In this fourth and final intermission episode, I try to answer the seemingly simple question: “Amy, do you agree with Daniel – that unhealed people should not have kids – or not?” Perhaps the most concise answer would be “I wouldn’t use the word ‘should’.” Regardless of whether I agree or disagree with Daniel’s opinions or approach (or use of the words “should” and “shouldn’t”), I still feel that the heart of his message is very important and far too rare. And I continue to be grateful for his perspective, passion and courage. Plume Giant – a “retro folk trio with no frontman, just guitar, violin, viola, and three voices” gives us our musical treat today, which is lucky for us. xoAmy Share on Facebook

In this fourth and final intermission episode, I try to answer the seemingly simple question: “Amy, do you agree with Daniel – that unhealed people should not have kids – or not?” Perhaps the most concise answer would be “I wouldn’t use the word ‘should’.” Regardless of whether I agree or disagree with Daniel’s opinions or approach (or use of the words “should” and “shouldn’t”), I still feel that the heart of his message is very important and far too rare. And I continue to be grateful for his perspective, passion and courage. <a href="http://www.plumegiant.com/home/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Plume Giant</a> – a “retro folk trio with no frontman, just guitar, violin, viola, and three voices” gives us our musical treat today, which is lucky for us. xoAmy <a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/p36-parenting-intermission-and-should/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/p36-parenting-intermission-and-should/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Share on Facebook</a>

P36: Parenting Intermission and ‘Should’

Alice Miller

This show marks the ¾ point in Season Six starring Daniel Mackler, and again it’s hard to summarize our conversation in 50 words or less.  Some hints include: spanking, hands-off forms of torture, freeing slaves and children, bad feelings, levels of consciousness, arithmetic, calculus, and growing past our teachers. There was one thing that Daniel said today that I found not only humorous but also I think it’s a clue about the “gap” I’ve been exploring lately, and possibly a clue about many other things as well.  When I said to Daniel something like “Your website isn’t really addressed for parents,” he replied “Well it could be argued that my website isn’t really addressed for anyone…” to which I replied “lol” and also “oh!” If you want to read Daniel’s critique of Alice Miller, just click on this friendly little link here and voila! (Ain’t that internet an amazement??) So now it’s time for us to all be patient while Amy and Daniel figure out when they can find some time to skype and record the last four episodes of Season Six. If you live in the northern hemisphere, I imagine you’ll be able to find some beautiful springy something or other to help you while the time away…. well, that’s what I’ll be doing anyway. xoAmy Share on Facebook

This show marks the ¾ point in Season Six starring <a href="http://www.iraresoul.com/about.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Daniel Mackler</a>, and again it’s hard to summarize our conversation in 50 words or less.  Some hints include: spanking, hands-off forms of torture, freeing slaves and children, bad feelings, levels of consciousness, arithmetic, calculus, and growing past our teachers. There was one thing that Daniel said today that I found not only humorous but also I think it’s a clue about the “gap” I’ve been exploring lately, and possibly a clue about many other things as well.  When I said to Daniel something like “Your website isn’t really addressed for parents,” he replied “Well it could be argued that my website isn’t really addressed for anyone…” to which I replied “lol” and also “oh!” If you want to read Daniel’s critique of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alice_Miller_%28psychologist%29" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Alice Miller</a>, just <a href="http://www.iraresoul.com/alicemiller.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">click on this friendly little link here</a> and voila! (Ain’t that internet an amazement??) So now it’s time for us to all be patient while Amy and Daniel figure out when they can find some time to skype and record the last four episodes of Season Six. If you live in the northern hemisphere, I imagine you’ll be able to find some beautiful springy something or other to help you while the time away…. well, that’s what I’ll be doing anyway. xoAmy <a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/parenting35-alice-miller-n-stuff/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/parenting35-alice-miller-n-stuff/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Share on Facebook</a>

Parenting35: Alice Miller ‘n’ Stuff

Whatever Whatever Amen Parenting Podcast Page

I can&#39;t say enough good things about this podcast. The theme if trusting humans in general - including myself and my children - has been particularly valuable to me. Keep at it, Amy, if only because it makes me so happy (and that IS your job :) ).

Love it

but i still find this podcast super valuable in relating to young people and to my own young self.

i am not a parent

Whatever Amen : Parenting With Trust

What I did for today’s show was I pulled together a few clips that were cut out of other recordings, ones that all generally fit under the theme of ‘Parenting.’ Included are more thoughts about dissociation, abuse, and whether or not Daniel thinks that parents can heal. I feel really proud of anyone who is willing to listen to Daniel talk about these things, and am proud that I have a podcast that attracts listeners who are up to such a deep and personal challenge.  Thanks for all your thoughtful comments; I hope you’ll keep sharing your thoughts and experiences with me and with each other along the way. I’m not sure if all this “makes the world a better place” or if it just “makes the world a better place for me.”  But either way, I’m happier because of you – so thanks for that. xoAmy Share on Facebook

What I did for today’s show was I pulled together a few clips that were cut out of other recordings, ones that all generally fit under the theme of ‘Parenting.’ Included are more thoughts about dissociation, abuse, and whether or not Daniel thinks that parents can heal. I feel really proud of anyone who is willing to listen to Daniel talk about these things, and am proud that I have a podcast that attracts listeners who are up to such a deep and personal challenge.  Thanks for all your thoughtful comments; I hope you’ll keep sharing your thoughts and experiences with me and with each other along the way. I’m not sure if all this “makes the world a better place” or if it just “makes the world a better place for me.”  But either way, I’m happier because of you – so thanks for that. xoAmy <a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/parenting34-daniel-on-dissociation-sexual-abuse-and-healing/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/parenting34-daniel-on-dissociation-sexual-abuse-and-healing/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Share on Facebook</a>

Parenting34: Daniel on Dissociation, Sexual Abuse and Healing

Today’s guest is Barb Lundgren, founder and director of the international Rethinking Everything Conference ,  publisher of Rethinking Everything Magazine, and extremely happy mother of three self-directed learners who are now in their 20s.  She says lots of insightful things in this interview, such as “Being a conscious intelligent resourceful loving unconditionally supportive parent is a very challenging job in Western civilization,” and “the goal is to get to yes.”  But don’t take my word for it – listen for yourself.  You’ll see. The song that popped into my mind to play at the end of the episode is by Bar Scott (written long before she became a mother), and not until after I’d gotten it firmly stuck in my head did I remember that her son Forrest died before he turned four.  Since then it’s been a weepy evening, but worth it. Amy A Mother’s Legacy Listen, my sonYour life is all that I can giveIf I could, I’d teach you all that I have learnedGo and errAnd know my love Know my love is in your heart Share on Facebook

Today’s guest is Barb Lundgren, founder and director of the international <a href="http://www.rethinkingeverything.net/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Rethinking Everything Conference</a> ,  publisher of <a href="http://www.rethinkingeverythingmagazine.net/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Rethinking Everything Magazine</a>, and extremely happy mother of three self-directed learners who are now in their 20s.  She says lots of insightful things in this interview, such as “Being a conscious intelligent resourceful loving unconditionally supportive parent is a very challenging job in Western civilization,” and “the goal is to get to yes.”  But don’t take my word for it – listen for yourself.  You’ll see. The song that popped into my mind to play at the end of the episode is by <a href="http://barscott.com/index.shtml" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Bar Scott</a> (written long before she became a mother), and not until after I’d gotten it firmly stuck in my head did I remember that her son Forrest died before he turned four.  Since then it’s been a weepy evening, but worth it. Amy A Mother’s Legacy Listen, my son Your life is all that I can give If I could, I’d teach you all that I have learned Go and err And know my love Know my love is in your heart <a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/parenting24-rethinking-everything-and-saying-yes/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/parenting24-rethinking-everything-and-saying-yes/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Share on Facebook</a>

Parenting24: Rethinking Everything and Saying Yes

ESS stands for “Essential Self School” which is something I invented for myself almost a decade ago when I wanted to structure my life in a radically different way in order to learn about the workings of my inner self.  My children were 8, 10 and 13 at the time – old enough to find food when they were hungry, to use a telephone, to buckle their own seat belts, and to mostly be the bosses of their own lives.  So if I had to take a month (or 12) from worrying about their basic safety in order to “find myself,” it wasn’t too much of a risk, and I was pretty good to go. Parents of small children who hear about ESS have often wondered – Hey! How do I get ME a piece of that?! In today’s episode, I answer that question, but here’s a hint: step one is “wait several more years.” Thanks Ryan Tennis, my WWA music guy, for sharing his tune Seventeen Years with us today.  And by the way, if you’re a musician and you have something you’d like to hear on the show, contact Ryan and he’ll see about hooking you up. xo~Amy Share on Facebook

ESS stands for “Essential Self School” which is something I invented for myself almost a decade ago when I wanted to structure my life in a radically different way in order to learn about the workings of my inner self.  My children were 8, 10 and 13 at the time – old enough to find food when they were hungry, to use a telephone, to buckle their own seat belts, and to mostly be the bosses of their own lives.  So if I had to take a month (or 12) from worrying about their basic safety in order to “find myself,” it wasn’t too much of a risk, and I was pretty good to go. Parents of small children who hear about ESS have often wondered – Hey! How do I get ME a piece of that?! In today’s episode, I answer that question, but here’s a hint: step one is “wait several more years.” Thanks <a href="http://www.myspace.com/ryantennismusic" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Ryan Tennis</a>, my WWA music guy, for sharing his tune Seventeen Years with us today.  And by the way, if you’re a musician and you have something you’d like to hear on the show, contact Ryan and he’ll see about hooking you up. xo~Amy <a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/parenting21-ess-while-parenting-young-children-or-not/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/parenting21-ess-while-parenting-young-children-or-not/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Share on Facebook</a>

Parenting21: ESS While Parenting Young Children (or… not?)

The dilemma: I have a child with someone and we want to raise her/him together in partnership… but, we aren’t in love with each other.  Is this possible?  If so, how?  The answer: Listen to this podcast and find out. (So simple…  or maybe … Not.) ~Amy Share on Facebook

The dilemma: I have a child with someone and we want to raise her/him together in partnership… but, we aren’t in love with each other.  Is this possible?  If so, how? The answer: Listen to this podcast and find out. (So simple…  or maybe … Not.) ~Amy <a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/parenting23-when-parenting-partners-arent-in-love/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/parenting23-when-parenting-partners-arent-in-love/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Share on Facebook</a>

Parenting23: When Parenting Partners Aren’t In Love

Michelle and Robert (Reb) Loucas, founders of the Philadelphia Free School, are incredibly passionate and knowledgeable about creating an environment where children’s natural curiosity can flourish with freedom and support.  They, together with a few talented and committed others, are opening a school in South Philly based on the Sudbury Valley model of education in September 2011, and in today’s episode we get to hear more about it. Michelle and Reb come with an impressive list of accomplishments and experiences, including things such as: teaching English, Spanish and Constitutional Law in a variety of high school settings; teaching English as a second language overseas; working for both Temple and Penn in the Education Departments; working for the city of Philadelphia and in a non-profit teaching and advocating for children; working for Sudbury Schools in California and Maryland; and being the parents of two adorable little ones. From the Sudbury Valley website: “Trust and respect are the keys to the school’s success. Students enjoy total intellectual freedom, and unfettered interaction with other students and adults. Through being responsible for themselves and for the school’s operation, they gain the internal resources needed to lead effective lives.” So that’s pretty cool. And now it’s time for a holiday commercial: If you’re looking for a great gift idea for the music and freedom lovers in your life, what about a copy of Free To Be You And Me?  Let’s show the world that the idealism of the 70’s is still goin’ strong! Amy Share on Facebook

Michelle and Robert (Reb) Loucas, founders of the <a href="http://phillyfreeschool.org/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Philadelphia Free School</a>, are incredibly passionate and knowledgeable about creating an environment where children’s natural curiosity can flourish with freedom and support. They, together with a few talented and committed others, are opening a school in South Philly based on <a href="http://www.sudval.org/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">the Sudbury Valley model</a> of education in September 2011, and in today’s episode we get to hear more about it. Michelle and Reb come with an impressive list of accomplishments and experiences, including things such as: teaching English, Spanish and Constitutional Law in a variety of high school settings; teaching English as a second language overseas; working for both Temple and Penn in the Education Departments; working for the city of Philadelphia and in a non-profit teaching and advocating for children; working for Sudbury Schools in California and Maryland; and being the parents of two adorable little ones. From the Sudbury Valley website: “Trust and respect are the keys to the school’s success. Students enjoy total intellectual freedom, and unfettered interaction with other students and adults. Through being responsible for themselves and for the school’s operation, they gain the internal resources needed to lead effective lives.” So that’s pretty cool. And now it’s time for a holiday commercial: If you’re looking for a great gift idea for the music and freedom lovers in your life, what about a copy of<a href="http://www.freetobefoundation.org/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Free To Be You And Me</a>?  Let’s show the world that the idealism of the 70’s is still goin’ strong! Amy <a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/parenting29-the-philadelphia-free-school/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/parenting29-the-philadelphia-free-school/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Share on Facebook</a>

Parenting29: The Philadelphia Free School

download the MP3 Meryl and I have known each other since 5th grade and have had many (MANY) good times together since then.  Not to mention Meryl’s grandmother and my great-grandmother were cousins.  Pretty sweet. But so anyway! Today Meryl asked me about really trusting children, watching TV, how to help kids with their feelings and what to do about siblings who bug each other. Devon Sproule (who I called a “Philly favorite” because everyone in Philly loves her – but she lives in Virginia) graces us with the closing number today, Stop By Anytime. So, that’s a big “ta da” for Season 5, wonder what we’ll come up with next?….. ‘Till then – xoAmy Meryl's Grandmother and Amy's Great-Grandmother Amy and Meryl and other 7th grade girls at the mountains Share on Facebook

<a href="http://traffic.libsyn.com/whateveramen/Amychilds4-P32MerylAsksMeSomeQuestions110.mp3" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">download the MP3</a> Meryl and I have known each other since 5th grade and have had many (MANY) good times together since then. Not to mention Meryl’s grandmother and my great-grandmother were cousins.  Pretty sweet. But so anyway! Today Meryl asked me about really trusting children, watching TV, how to help kids with their feelings and what to do about siblings who bug each other. <a href="http://www.devonsproule.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Devon Sproule</a> (who I called a “Philly favorite” because everyone in Philly loves her – but she lives in Virginia) graces us with the closing number today, Stop By Anytime. So, that’s a big “ta da” for Season 5, wonder what we’ll come up with next?….. ‘Till then – xoAmy <a href="http://whateveramen.com/parenting32-meryl-asks-me-some-questions/carina-glenn-hyatt-marjorie-wells-copy/" rel="attachment wp-att-966 nofollow" target="_blank"></a>Meryl's Grandmother and Amy's Great-Grandmother <a href="http://whateveramen.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/4169_1176417610170_1219988152_484195_2140347_n.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>Amy and Meryl and other 7th grade girls at the mountains <a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/parenting32-meryl-asks-me-some-questions/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/parenting32-meryl-asks-me-some-questions/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Share on Facebook</a>

Parenting32: Meryl Asks Me Some Questions

download the mp3 It was when I got a text from Nicole Martin that asked “Were you always the way you are?” that the idea for Season 5 was born.  Although I did my best to answer her questions (like “What were you like when you were tiny?”) I’m not sure if I really got to her main question, of how I got to be “this way.”  Oh well, we had fun anyway (y’know, that laughing/crying sort of fun….) Nicole's food makes every day a special day On Nikiah’s 17th birthday Kayla’s camera took some crazy pictures. This is kind of what my kitchen is like when Nicole is around, a colorful surprising chaotic beauty. let the good times roll Share on Facebook

<a href="http://traffic.libsyn.com/whateveramen/Amychilds4-P30NicoleAsksMeSomeQuestions722.mp3" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">download the mp3</a> It was when I got a text from Nicole Martin that asked “Were you always the way you are?” that the idea for Season 5 was born.  Although I did my best to answer her questions (like “What were you like when you were tiny?”) I’m not sure if I really got to her main question, of how I got to be “this way.”  Oh well, we had fun anyway (y’know, that laughing/crying sort of fun….) <a href="http://whateveramen.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/n.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>Nicole's food makes every day a special day On Nikiah’s 17th birthday Kayla’s camera took some crazy pictures. This is kind of what my kitchen is like when Nicole is around, a colorful surprising chaotic beauty. <a href="http://whateveramen.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/ni.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>let the good times roll <a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/parenting30-nicole-asks-me-some-questions/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/parenting30-nicole-asks-me-some-questions/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Share on Facebook</a>

Parenting30: Nicole Asks Me Some Questions

Kayla has been studying different parenting styles, and wanted to know what I thought about the difference between being “firm” (which some say is a good thing) and being “controlling” (which some say is a bad thing).   Or something like that (I kept getting all the categories mixed up, but hopefully the editing will gloss over that part…) Later I broke the season 5 rules, and asked Kayla if she’d be willing to say some words about my strengths and weaknesses as a mom, and she was, and she did. And in case you were wondering, Alexandra Day’s new album Untangle is ready for you to buy it! I think this was taken about 10 years ago Breathing in and out, xoAmy Share on Facebook

Kayla has been studying <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parenting_styles#Baumrind.27s_four_general_parenting_styles" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">different parenting styles</a>, and wanted to know what I thought about the difference between being “firm” (which some say is a good thing) and being “controlling” (which some say is a bad thing).   Or something like that (I kept getting all the categories mixed up, but hopefully the editing will gloss over that part…) Later I broke the season 5 rules, and asked Kayla if she’d be willing to say some words about my strengths and weaknesses as a mom, and she was, and she did. And in case you were wondering, <a href="http://alexandraday.bandcamp.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Alexandra Day’s new album</a> Untangle is ready for you to buy it! <a href="http://whateveramen.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/kayla-and-amy-2001ish.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>I think this was taken about 10 years ago Breathing in and out, xoAmy <a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/parenting31-kayla-asks-me-some-questions/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/parenting31-kayla-asks-me-some-questions/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Share on Facebook</a>

Parenting31: Kayla Asks Me Some Questions

Robin Grille

Do you remember when my facebook status quoted Kayla saying “Nikiah and I are making our own bible, but we decided not to rush it.” (Well okay maybe nobody remembers that, but it was funny.) Anyway, the reason (it turned out) that they didn’t want to rush it was that they realized it was going to take some time to gather and compile all the important works and quotes into the bible of their dreams.  So far, they have identified the following as key elements of their bible: – Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, – Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe, – things by Pema Chodron, and – Parenting for a Peaceful World by Robin Grille. All that is to say that for me today, it was kinda like I was interviewing Moses. Here are all the links we mentioned in the show: Robin Grille’s website Robin Grille’s blog If you want to find out more about being an activist for young people’s rights, look here, here and here. And Robin wants everyone to know about Paul Hawken and his book Blessed Unrest – so check it out! (‘Cause Moses said so.  And also because it is pretty cool…) Alexandra (oops I called her Alex on the show) Day sent me the tune that you’ll hear today.  Thank you Alexandra! And thank you again to Robin Grille for taking the time to write a great book AND talk to me on my show.  A super lucky combination for us all. xoAmy PS – For those who prefer it, here is the link for Parenting For a Peaceful World on Kindle. Share on Facebook

Do you remember when my facebook status quoted Kayla saying “Nikiah and I are making our own bible, but we decided not to rush it.” (Well okay maybe nobody remembers that, but it was funny.) Anyway, the reason (it turned out) that they didn’t want to rush it was that they realized it was going to take some time to gather and compile all the important works and quotes into the bible of their dreams.  So far, they have identified the following as key elements of their bible: – Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, – Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe, – things by Pema Chodron, and – <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Peaceful-World-Robin-Grille/dp/1921004142/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Parenting for a Peaceful World</a> by Robin Grille. All that is to say that for me today, it was kinda like I was interviewing Moses. Here are all the links we mentioned in the show: <a href="http://our-emotional-health.com/index.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Robin Grille’s website</a> <a href="http://hearttoheartparenting.org/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Robin Grille’s blog</a> If you want to find out more about being an activist for young people’s rights, look <a href="http://stophitting.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>, <a href="http://www.nospank.net/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> and <a href="http://www.amnesty.org/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>. And Robin wants everyone to know about <a href="http://www.blessedunrest.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Paul Hawken and his book Blessed Unrest</a> – so check it out! (‘Cause Moses said so.  And also because it is pretty cool…) <a href="http://www.myspace.com/alexandraday" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Alexandra (oops I called her Alex on the show) Day</a> sent me the tune that you’ll hear today.  Thank you Alexandra! And thank you again to Robin Grille for taking the time to write a great book AND talk to me on my show.  A super lucky combination for us all. xoAmy PS – For those who prefer it, here is the link for <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Peaceful-World-ebook/dp/B003HC89FG/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&amp;s=digital-text&amp;qid=1290123337&amp;sr=8-3-catcorr" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Parenting For a Peaceful World on Kindle</a>. <a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/parenting28-robin-grille-and-parenting-for-a-peaceful-world/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/parenting28-robin-grille-and-parenting-for-a-peaceful-world/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Share on Facebook</a>

Parenting28: Robin Grille and Parenting for a Peaceful World

Daniel Mackler

Today’s guest, Daniel Mackler, is a trained psychotherapist, a filmmaker and a musician, but the reason he came into my awareness is because he has a website that tells people exactly what he thinks – and I happen to think he’s on to something. So I posted his essay “Eleven Situations in Which it Is Not Appropriate for You to Have Kids” on facebook and asked him if he would talk with me on my show.  He cheerfully agreed. Even though we talked for well over an hour, by the end I felt that we’d hardly begun.  If you want to hear more of our conversation than this half-hour episode allows, click here to download the MP3 or listen here   to hear a longer version.  But like I said – if you ask me, even an hour is just the tip of the iceberg. After admitting that I do think that bringing three precious people into this insane world (and to be raised by insane parents) was a kind of criminal act on my part, playing Bar Scott‘s “Confession” seemed an appropriate way to wrap up the show.  And then I lay down on my bed to breathe for a good long time. Forgive me children, for I knew not what I did… or something like that. Peace and love, Amy Share on Facebook

Today’s guest, <a href="http://www.iraresoul.com/home_page.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Daniel Mackler</a>, is a trained psychotherapist, a filmmaker and a musician, but the reason he came into my awareness is because he has a website that tells people exactly what he thinks – and I happen to think he’s on to something. So I posted his essay <a href="http://www.iraresoul.com/nokids.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">“Eleven Situations in Which it Is Not Appropriate for You to Have Kids”</a> on facebook and asked him if he would talk with me on my show.  He cheerfully agreed. Even though we talked for well over an hour, by the end I felt that we’d hardly begun.  If you want to hear more of our conversation than this half-hour episode allows, <a href="http://traffic.libsyn.com/whateveramen/Amychilds5-DanielMacklerAndAmyChilds432.mp3" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">click here</a> to download the MP3 or listen here   to hear a longer version.  But like I said – if you ask me, even an hour is just the tip of the iceberg. After admitting that I do think that bringing three precious people into this insane world (and to be raised by insane parents) was a kind of criminal act on my part, playing <a href="http://www.barscott.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Bar Scott</a>‘s “Confession” seemed an appropriate way to wrap up the show.  And then I lay down on my bed to breathe for a good long time. Forgive me children, for I knew not what I did… or something like that. Peace and love, Amy <a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/parenting25-interview-with-daniel-mackler/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/parenting25-interview-with-daniel-mackler/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Share on Facebook</a>

Parenting25: Interview with Daniel Mackler

It seems that an important part of a human being’s development, as one goes from being a dependent person to an independent person, must always involve some kind of “divorce” from his or her parents. A lot of parents (myself included) have struggled to find their role in this healthy yet painful transition. How do we support someone whose job it is to reject us? I do think this sticky business is in fact part of a parent’s job, and how well we do the job undoubtedly influences whether we’ll be lucky enough to get to hang out now and then with our kids once they don’t need us anymore. Thanks Jim Boggia for reminding us of the possibility that “There’s Nothing Wrong With Me.” (And also for the part that goes “Whoop de do!” I like that.) Amy Share on Facebook

It seems that an important part of a human being’s development, as one goes from being a dependent person to an independent person, must always involve some kind of “divorce” from his or her parents. A lot of parents (myself included) have struggled to find their role in this healthy yet painful transition. How do we support someone whose job it is to reject us? I do think this sticky business is in fact part of a parent’s job, and how well we do the job undoubtedly influences whether we’ll be lucky enough to get to hang out now and then with our kids once they don’t need us anymore. Thanks <a href="http://jimboggia.com/wordpress/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Jim Boggia</a> for reminding us of the possibility that “There’s Nothing Wrong With Me.” (And also for the part that goes “Whoop de do!” I like that.) Amy <a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/parenting27-when-kids-divorce-their-parents/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/parenting27-when-kids-divorce-their-parents/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Share on Facebook</a>

Parenting27: When Kids Divorce Their Parents

Mister Rogers

Everything you ever need to know you can learn from Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. So go give some money to PBS and hopefully that will make up for any copyright laws I may have inadvertently broken. But I just love Mister Rogers, and I want you to love him too.  So if you aren’t already a rabid fan, listen up and change your mind. xo Amy Share on Facebook

Everything you ever need to know you can learn from <a href="http://pbskids.org/rogers/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood</a>. So go <a href="http://www.pbs.org/aboutpbs/aboutpbs_support.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">give some money to PBS</a> and hopefully that will make up for any copyright laws I may have inadvertently broken. But I just love Mister Rogers, and I want you to love him too.  So if you aren’t already a rabid fan, listen up and change your mind. xo Amy <a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/parenting22-in-praise-of-mister-rogers/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/parenting22-in-praise-of-mister-rogers/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Share on Facebook</a>

Parenting22: In Praise of Mister Rogers

download the mp3 Okay, are we all doing a good job with our deep breathing?  Good, good.  Daniel Mackler has a message that (I think) is very important. It’s also a very painful one to hear. If you’re a parent (or a parent wannabe) and you’re willing to listen to what he has to say, you’re more humble and courageous than most, and I thank you. All of Season Six (16 episodes) is dedicated to Daniel’s views about truth, the true self, trauma, healing and growing up. If you want to learn how this could become a truly healed and happy world, I hope you’ll listen carefully, breathe deeply, and find out what your own inner self has to say about it all. In Season Six I’m playing  Daniel’s music.  In today’s song he sings: I see parents having kids and then they break their little hearts, They crush their perfect lives before they get a chance to start. But still I know there’s hope because I see it in my sight, That’s why I’ve come to spread the message  that it’s time to set things right. When I heard Daniel’s vision for the world, it was the first time – ever – that I had a glimmer that maybe… maybe… there was something good about having hope.   I must admit I’m still awfully wary of the concept – but I’m open to changing my mind.  And if I do, you guys will be among the very first to know.  I’ll keep you posted. xoAmy   Share on Facebook

<a href="http://traffic.libsyn.com/whateveramen/Amychilds4-P33DanielOnChildAbuseAndSpoiling694.mp3" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">download the mp3</a> Okay, are we all doing a good job with our deep breathing?  Good, good. <a href="http://www.iraresoul.com/home_page.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Daniel Mackler</a> has a message that (I think) is very important. It’s also a very painful one to hear. If you’re a parent (or a parent wannabe) and you’re willing to listen to what he has to say, you’re more humble and courageous than most, and I thank you. All of Season Six (16 episodes) is dedicated to Daniel’s views about truth, the true self, trauma, healing and growing up. If you want to learn how this could become a truly healed and happy world, I hope you’ll listen carefully, breathe deeply, and find out what your own inner self has to say about it all. In Season Six I’m playing  Daniel’s music.  In today’s song he sings: I see parents having kids and then they break their little hearts, They crush their perfect lives before they get a chance to start. But still I know there’s hope because I see it in my sight, That’s why I’ve come to spread the message that it’s time to set things right. When I heard Daniel’s vision for the world, it was the first time – ever – that I had a glimmer that maybe… maybe… there was something good about having hope.   I must admit I’m still awfully wary of the concept – but I’m open to changing my mind.  And if I do, you guys will be among the very first to know.  I’ll keep you posted. xoAmy <a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/parenting33-daniel-on-child-abuse-and-spoiling/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://whateveramen.com/parenting33-daniel-on-child-abuse-and-spoiling/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Share on Facebook</a>

Parenting33: Daniel on Child Abuse and Spoiling

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