Karen Salmansohn

The practices of Self Help, Mindset, and Mindfulness aren’t just for people experiencing life-altering situations, although they can be. In this episode of The I Simply Am podcast I sit down with my friend Karen Salmansohn to learn some quick tips to battle anxiety. WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE Simply and effective ways of battling anxiety Why Masters In Life may have the cure you’re looking for Great simple tools and tips you can use to beat anxiety in your day LINKS MENTIONED Masters In Life [CLICK HERE] The Anxiety Cure (SPECIAL PRICE ENDING MAY1) [CLICK HERE] www.NotSalmon.com Join me on Instagram at www.instagram.com/iamjoshbecker Join me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/iamjoshbecker 

The practices of Self Help, Mindset, and Mindfulness aren’t just for people experiencing life-altering situations, although they can be. In this episode of The I Simply Am podcast I sit down with my friend Karen Salmansohn to learn some quick tips to battle anxiety. WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE<ul> <li>Simply and effective ways of battling anxiety</li> <li>Why <a href="http://www.mastersinlife.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Masters In Life</a> may have the cure you’re looking for</li> <li>Great simple tools and tips you can use to beat anxiety in your day</li> </ul>LINKS MENTIONED<ul> <li><a href="http://www.mastersinlife.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Masters In Life [CLICK HERE]</a></li> <li><a href="https://mastersinlife.com/courses/anxiety-cure?affcode=82836_7cjlsyud" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Anxiety Cure (SPECIAL PRICE ENDING MAY1) [CLICK HERE]</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.notsalmon.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.NotSalmon.com</a></li> <li>Join me on Instagram at <a href="http://www.instagram.com/iamjoshbecker" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.instagram.com/iamjoshbecker</a></li> <li>Join me on Facebook at <a href="http://www.facebook.com/iamjoshbecker" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.facebook.com/iamjoshbecker</a></li> </ul>

Ep. 107: Karen Salmansohn on Simple Tips for Anxiety

The practices of Self Help, Mindset, and Mindfulness aren’t just for people experiencing life-altering situations, although they can be. In this episode of The I Simply Am podcast I share with you the 4 key components to creating a conscious relationship. WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE Exactly what is a conscious relationship The 4 key components to creating a conscious relationship How to take action RIGHT NOW in this FREE COURSE (only available until midnight on April 5, 2018! LINKS MENTIONED [FREE UNTIL 4.5.2018] The Art of Relationships Course! Join me on Instagram at www.instagram.com/iamjoshbecker Join me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/iamjoshbecker 

The practices of Self Help, Mindset, and Mindfulness aren’t just for people experiencing life-altering situations, although they can be. In this episode of The I Simply Am podcast I share with you the 4 key components to creating a conscious relationship. WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE<ul> <li>Exactly what is a conscious relationship</li> <li>The 4 key components to creating a conscious relationship</li> <li>How to take action RIGHT NOW in this <a href="http://www.iamjoshbecker.com/consciousrelationships" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">FREE COURSE</a> (only available until midnight on April 5, 2018!</li> </ul>LINKS MENTIONED<ul> <li>[FREE UNTIL 4.5.2018] <a href="http://www.iamjoshbecker.com/consciousrelationships" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Art of Relationships Course</a>!</li> <li>Join me on Instagram at <a href="http://www.instagram.com/iamjoshbecker" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.instagram.com/iamjoshbecker</a></li> <li>Join me on Facebook at <a href="http://www.facebook.com/iamjoshbecker" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.facebook.com/iamjoshbecker</a></li> </ul>

Ep. 106: The Art of Conscious Relationships

The practices of Self Help, Mindset, and Mindfulness aren’t just for people experiencing life-altering situations, although they can be. In this episode of The I Simply Am podcast I share with you the one thing that prevents you from showing up in relationships and in business and what you can do about it. WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE How self-awareness can be at the heart of you leveling up! What’s been holding you back from showing up as your best and biggest self Some practical tools you can use today to start showing up in love and in business LINKS MENTIONED Join me on Instagram at www.instagram.com/iamjoshbecker Join me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/iamjoshbecker 

The practices of Self Help, Mindset, and Mindfulness aren’t just for people experiencing life-altering situations, although they can be. In this episode of The I Simply Am podcast I share with you the one thing that prevents you from showing up in relationships and in business and what you can do about it. WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE<ul> <li>How self-awareness can be at the heart of you leveling up!</li> <li>What’s been holding you back from showing up as your best and biggest self</li> <li>Some practical tools you can use today to start showing up in love and in business</li> </ul>LINKS MENTIONED<ul> <li>Join me on Instagram at <a href="http://www.instagram.com/iamjoshbecker" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.instagram.com/iamjoshbecker</a></li> <li>Join me on Facebook at <a href="http://www.facebook.com/iamjoshbecker" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.facebook.com/iamjoshbecker</a></li> </ul>

Ep. 105: The One Thing That Prevents Us From Showing Up (…in love and in business)

Amy Ahlers

The practices of Self Help, Mindset, and Mindfulness aren’t just for people experiencing life-altering situations, although they can be. In this episode of The I Simply Am podcast I show I sit down with my friend Amy Ahlers who shares how through cultivating her own Inner Wisdom she was able to attract in the man of her dreams! WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE How to cultivate your inner wisdom How Amy co-created amazing love with her husband of 17 years Practical tools you can use today to start cultivating your Inner Wisdom LINKS MENTIONED Amy’s FREE Inner Wisdom Experiment (Starts January 28, 2018!) Amy’s podcast – “The Amy Ahlers Show“ Join us on Facebook! 

The practices of Self Help, Mindset, and Mindfulness aren’t just for people experiencing life-altering situations, although they can be. In this episode of The I Simply Am podcast I show I sit down with my friend Amy Ahlers who shares how through cultivating her own Inner Wisdom she was able to attract in the man of her dreams! WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE<ul> <li>How to cultivate your inner wisdom</li> <li>How Amy co-created amazing love with her husband of 17 years</li> <li>Practical tools you can use today to start cultivating your Inner Wisdom</li> </ul>LINKS MENTIONED<ul> <li>Amy’s FREE <a href="http://www.iamjoshbecker.com/amy" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Inner Wisdom Experiment</a> (Starts January 28, 2018!)</li> <li>Amy’s podcast – “<a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-amy-ahlers-show/id1072236907?mt=2&amp;ign-mpt=uo%3D4" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Amy Ahlers Show</a>“</li> <li>Join us on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/iamjoshbecker" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Facebook!</a></li> </ul>

Ep. 104: Cultivating Inner Wisdom With Amy Ahlers

The practices of Self Help, Mindset, and Mindfulness aren’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although they can be. In this episode of The I Simply Am podcast I show you how to become a self aware ninja in any relationship! WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE A discussion on External vs Internal Awareness Mindful vs Carried Feelings The final step in becoming a self aware ninja! LINKS MENTIONED Right now I’m offering the Love Reset course, absolutely FREE! Enter your name and email here to get started! Join us on Facebook! 

The practices of Self Help, Mindset, and Mindfulness aren’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although they can be. In this episode of The I Simply Am podcast I show you how to become a self aware ninja in any relationship! WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE<ul> <li>A discussion on External vs Internal Awareness</li> <li>Mindful vs Carried Feelings</li> <li>The final step in becoming a self aware ninja!</li> </ul>LINKS MENTIONED<ul> <li>Right now I’m offering the Love Reset course, absolutely FREE! Enter your name and email <a href="http://www.iamjoshbecker.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> to get started!</li> <li>Join us on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/iamjoshbecker" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Facebook!</a></li> </ul>

Ep. 103: How To Become A Self Aware Ninja (…in any relationship)

The practices of Self Help, Mindset, and Mindfulness aren’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although they can be. In this episode of The I Simply Am podcast I show you how to hone your secret weapon for creating amazing relationships! WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE How to register for the Love Reset Program absolutely FREE! Why Relationship skills are so important What your secret weapon is and how to hone it for 2018! LINKS MENTIONED Tired of wishing for change in your relationships or in your business? Ready to put an end to “wanting” and start shifting into real action?  click here to set up a FREE introductory coaching session with me! Join us on Facebook! 

The practices of Self Help, Mindset, and Mindfulness aren’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although they can be. In this episode of The I Simply Am podcast I show you how to hone your secret weapon for creating amazing relationships! WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE<ul> <li>How to register for the Love Reset Program absolutely FREE!</li> <li>Why Relationship skills are so important</li> <li>What your secret weapon is and how to hone it for 2018!</li> </ul>LINKS MENTIONED<ul> <li>Tired of wishing for change in your relationships or in your business? Ready to put an end to “wanting” and start shifting into real action?  <a href="http://www.iamjoshbecker.com/intro" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">click here to set up a FREE introductory coaching session with me!</a></li> <li>Join us on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/iamjoshbecker" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Facebook!</a></li> </ul>

Ep. 102: 2018 Your Year For Amazing Relationships (honing your secret weapon)

The practices of Self Help, Mindset, and Mindfulness aren’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although they can be. In this mini-episode of The I Simply Am podcast I show you how loving yourself sometimes looks like holding on and embracing not just the good or the bad but everything in the messy middle. WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE How to join an amazing community of people in action! How to shift your mindset on starting your week. Taking action to start your week off with inspiration and intention LINKS MENTIONED Tired of wishing for change in your relationships or in your business? Ready to put an end to “wanting” and start shifting into real action?  click here to set up a FREE introductory coaching session with me! Join us on Facebook! 

The practices of Self Help, Mindset, and Mindfulness aren’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although they can be. In this mini-episode of The I Simply Am podcast I show you how loving yourself sometimes looks like holding on and embracing not just the good or the bad but everything in the messy middle. WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE<ul> <li>How to join an <a href="http://www.theexperientials.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">amazing community</a> of people in action!</li> <li>How to shift your mindset on starting your week.</li> <li>Taking action to start your week off with inspiration and intention</li> </ul>LINKS MENTIONED<ul> <li>Tired of wishing for change in your relationships or in your business? Ready to put an end to “wanting” and start shifting into real action?  <a href="http://www.iamjoshbecker.com/intro" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">click here to set up a FREE introductory coaching session with me!</a></li> <li>Join us on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/iamjoshbecker" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Facebook!</a></li> </ul>

Ep. 101: Loving Ourselves In The Messy Middle

The practices of Self Help, Mindset, and Mindfulness aren’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although they can be. In this mini-episode of The I Simply Am podcast I show you the first step (5 of 5) to finding your voice. WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE How to join an amazing community of people in action! How to shift your mindset on starting your week. Taking action to start your week off with inspiration and intention LINKS MENTIONED Tired of wishing for change in your relationships or in your business? Ready to put an end to “wanting” and start shifting into real action?  click here to set up a FREE introductory coaching session with me! Join us on Facebook! 

The practices of Self Help, Mindset, and Mindfulness aren’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although they can be. In this mini-episode of The I Simply Am podcast I show you the first step (5 of 5) to finding your voice. WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE<ul> <li>How to join an <a href="http://www.theexperientials.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">amazing community</a> of people in action!</li> <li>How to shift your mindset on starting your week.</li> <li>Taking action to start your week off with inspiration and intention</li> </ul>LINKS MENTIONED<ul> <li>Tired of wishing for change in your relationships or in your business? Ready to put an end to “wanting” and start shifting into real action?  <a href="http://www.iamjoshbecker.com/intro" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">click here to set up a FREE introductory coaching session with me!</a></li> <li>Join us on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/iamjoshbecker" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Facebook!</a></li> </ul>

Ep. 100: How To Find Your Voice – Part 5 of 5

The practices of Self Help, Mindset, and Mindfulness aren’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although they can be. In this mini-episode of The I Simply Am podcast I show you the first step (4 of 5) to finding your voice. WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE How to join an amazing community of people in action! How to shift your mindset on starting your week. Taking action to start your week off with inspiration and intention LINKS MENTIONED Tired of wishing for change in your relationships or in your business? Ready to put an end to “wanting” and start shifting into real action?  click here to set up a FREE introductory coaching session with me! Join us on Facebook! 

The practices of Self Help, Mindset, and Mindfulness aren’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although they can be. In this mini-episode of The I Simply Am podcast I show you the first step (4 of 5) to finding your voice. WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE<ul> <li>How to join an <a href="http://www.theexperientials.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">amazing community</a> of people in action!</li> <li>How to shift your mindset on starting your week.</li> <li>Taking action to start your week off with inspiration and intention</li> </ul>LINKS MENTIONED<ul> <li>Tired of wishing for change in your relationships or in your business? Ready to put an end to “wanting” and start shifting into real action?  <a href="http://www.iamjoshbecker.com/intro" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">click here to set up a FREE introductory coaching session with me!</a></li> <li>Join us on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/iamjoshbecker" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Facebook!</a></li> </ul>

Ep. 99: How To Find Your Voice – Part 4 of 5

The practices of Self Help, Mindset, and Mindfulness aren’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although they can be. In this mini-episode of The I Simply Am podcast I show you the first step (3 of 5) to finding your voice. WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE How to join an amazing community of people in action! How to shift your mindset on starting your week. Taking action to start your week off with inspiration and intention LINKS MENTIONED Tired of wishing for change in your relationships or in your business? Ready to put an end to “wanting” and start shifting into real action?  click here to set up a FREE introductory coaching session with me! Join us on Facebook! 

The practices of Self Help, Mindset, and Mindfulness aren’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although they can be. In this mini-episode of The I Simply Am podcast I show you the first step (3 of 5) to finding your voice. WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE<ul> <li>How to join an <a href="http://www.theexperientials.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">amazing community</a> of people in action!</li> <li>How to shift your mindset on starting your week.</li> <li>Taking action to start your week off with inspiration and intention</li> </ul>LINKS MENTIONED<ul> <li>Tired of wishing for change in your relationships or in your business? Ready to put an end to “wanting” and start shifting into real action?  <a href="http://www.iamjoshbecker.com/intro" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">click here to set up a FREE introductory coaching session with me!</a></li> <li>Join us on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/iamjoshbecker" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Facebook!</a></li> </ul>

Ep. 98: How To Find Your Voice – Part 3 of 5

Great show by Josh Becker about self love and awareness

Self love

I enjoy listening to your podcast. It&#39;s helpful and practical. Thank you.

Love it!

The I Simply Am Podcast: Mindfulness | Self Love | Self Awareness

Self help and Mindfulness isn’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although it can be. In this episode of The I Simply Am podcast I share 5 ways that you can start loving yourself more today. Self Love is a practice and a set of tools. Here are tools you can start using today! I also announce the dates for an event I’m speaking at in San Francisco and how you can get a free ticket! Listen to find out how to get a free ticket or click here to buy now!WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE Dates for my San Fran speaking event 5 ways you can start loving yourself today Why we sometimes turn to perfectionism and playing “fixer”  .tweet .action-buffer-container i, .tweet.opened-tweet .action-buffer-container i, .tweet.opened-tweet.hover .action-buffer-container i  { background-position: -3px -3px !important; } .tweet .action-buffer-container i { background-position: -3px -21px !important; }					Want to live the BEST version of YOU!? Take the FREE 5 Day Self Love Challenge and start living the life you want today!

Self help and Mindfulness isn’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although it can be. In this episode of The I Simply Am podcast I share 5 ways that you can start loving yourself more today. Self Love is a practice and a set of tools. Here are tools you can start using today! I also announce the dates for an event I’m speaking at in San Francisco and how you can get a free ticket! Listen to find out how to get a free ticket or <a href="http://www.isimply.am/lybl" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">click here</a> to buy now!WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE<ul> <li>Dates for my San Fran speaking event</li> <li>5 ways you can start loving yourself today</li> <li>Why we sometimes turn to perfectionism and playing “fixer”</li> </ul> .tweet .action-buffer-container i, .tweet.opened-tweet .action-buffer-container i, .tweet.opened-tweet.hover .action-buffer-container i { background-position: -3px -3px !important; } .tweet .action-buffer-container i { background-position: -3px -21px !important; }		 			Want to live the BEST version of YOU!? Take the FREE 5 Day Self Love Challenge and start living the life you want today!

Ep. 65: 5 Ways to Start Loving Yourself Today

In this episode I talk about the misperceptions of self-love and I also describe some of the main differences between self-love and selfishness. This is something a lot of us struggle with and you’ll find out exactly why they are on the opposite ends of the spectrum. As importantly you’re going to learn 3 tips to loving yourself more during the Valentine’s weekend. We’ll discuss taking care of the most important person in your life – YOU! I’m also revealing a little “preview” into a new project I am releasing soon called The 14 Day Self-Love Project! WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE  How to know the difference between self-love and selfishness 3 tips to loving yourself this holiday weekend Preview of The 14 Day Self Love Project

In this episode I talk about the misperceptions of self-love and I also describe some of the main differences between self-love and selfishness. This is something a lot of us struggle with and you’ll find out exactly why they are on the opposite ends of the spectrum. As importantly you’re going to learn 3 tips to loving yourself more during the Valentine’s weekend. We’ll discuss taking care of the most important person in your life – YOU! I’m also revealing a little “preview” into a new project I am releasing soon called The 14 Day Self-Love Project! WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE <ul> <li>How to know the difference between self-love and selfishness</li> <li>3 tips to loving yourself this holiday weekend</li> <li>Preview of The 14 Day Self Love Project</li></ul>

Ep. 42: 3 Ways To Practice Self Love This Weekend

The easy answer to the question, “Why haven’t you written or podcast for the last 2 months?” would be it was summer break. Of course that sounds great but that wasn’t exactly why. In this come back podcast I share the honest and personal truth about where I’ve been and what all those big changes really meant. You’ll hear about all this and more in this weeks episode.  What changes have occurred in my life Why I stopped writing and podcasting How big change affects our lives How you can be sure to stay on track even when big change happens to you What change really says and doesn’t say about you  Next week we’ll be back on track with our weekly episodes. Big Hugs!

The easy answer to the question, “Why haven’t you written or podcast for the last 2 months?” would be it was summer break. Of course that sounds great but that wasn’t exactly why. In this come back podcast I share the honest and personal truth about where I’ve been and what all those big changes really meant. You’ll hear about all this and more in this weeks episode. <ul> <li>What changes have occurred in my life</li> <li>Why I stopped writing and podcasting</li> <li>How big change affects our lives</li> <li>How you can be sure to stay on track even when big change happens to you</li> <li>What change really says and doesn’t say about you</li> </ul> Next week we’ll be back on track with our weekly episodes. Big Hugs!

Ep. 35: What Does Change Say About You?

Self help and Mindfulness isn’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although it can be. In this episode of The I Simply Am podcast I answer a question about finding happiness without having to rely on others. WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE  How to tell if you’re co-dependent  How to find happiness whether or not you’re in a relationship Specific steps you can take this week to find more fulfillment and love    .tweet .action-buffer-container i, .tweet.opened-tweet .action-buffer-container i, .tweet.opened-tweet.hover .action-buffer-container i  { background-position: -3px -3px !important; } .tweet .action-buffer-container i { background-position: -3px -21px !important; }					Want to live the BEST version of YOU!? Take the FREE 5 Day Self Love Challenge and start living the life you want today!

Self help and Mindfulness isn’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although it can be. In this episode of The I Simply Am podcast I answer a question about finding happiness without having to rely on others. WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE <ul> <li>How to tell if you’re co-dependent </li> <li>How to find happiness whether or not you’re in a relationship</li> <li>Specific steps you can take this week to find more fulfillment and love</li> </ul> .tweet .action-buffer-container i, .tweet.opened-tweet .action-buffer-container i, .tweet.opened-tweet.hover .action-buffer-container i { background-position: -3px -3px !important; } .tweet .action-buffer-container i { background-position: -3px -21px !important; }		 			Want to live the BEST version of YOU!? Take the FREE 5 Day Self Love Challenge and start living the life you want today!

Ep. 61: How To Find Happiness Without Relying On Others

What is Self Awareness? My definition of self awareness is as follows: Observing and Understanding ones own response to internal/external physical and emotional stimuli. Now this isn’t a definition I’ve been sitting with for years. In fact, I haven’t really come up with a finite definition of Self Awareness until creating this podcast. Keep that in mind as this will likely shift for me overtime. Listen to the full podcast here! I’ve always said that the first step to change is self awareness. The reason many of us are stuck in the life we live isn’t because we don’t have the time, the money, know the right people, or aren’t good enough. The reason we are stuck or THINK that we are stuck is because we lack self awareness. This isn’t a knock on anyone. We’re taught from a young age to not trust what our body tells us. Caregivers tell us we’re not smart, not to cry, not to be scared, do what we’re told, and the list goes on and on. And every time we hear that shaming language a little bit of our self awareness gets lost. Soon we learn to rely on everything external to us to determine if everything inside is well. The weather, how much money I make, my position in my company, my celebrity status, my Facebook likes and Twitter follows, whether or not our partner is happy, the economic status of our country, Fridays, Vacations, and on and on… Some of us become so disconnected from who we are that when asked how we feel we’re completely numb. I’ve worked with many people who literally don’t know how they feel. Most everyone else has a sense of what they’re feeling but can’t quite describe it. How many times have you responded to the question, “How are you feeling” with “fine”, “good” or “ok”? Sure, if you’re talking to a stranger you may not want to get into all the complications of your life. But we respond this way to close family, friends, and even our partners as well. Fine, Good, and OK are not feelings. They are judgements. On the surface you might ask me, “Josh, why are you acting so critical? You know what I mean when I say these things and after all it’s just semantics. I would argue that this isn’t the case at all. How we feel often times dictates how we respond to life. We have a thought about something, we apply a meaning to that thought (often based on what’s happened in our past) and then we produce a feeling. From there we normally act upon it. If we’re feeling happy we often times laugh or smile and we’re more apt to be friendly. If we feel angry or frustrated we often act in accordance with those feelings too. So you might wonder or others that are close to you might wonder why you respond to life the way you do. Consider the following scenarios where you might question why you respond the way you do: 1. Stuck at a job you don’t like. 2. Stuck in a relationship you don’t want to be in. 3. Seem to never have enough time in the day. 4. Constantly putting yourself last and others first. 5. Others might call you a perfectionist. 6. You can’t commit. 7. You can’t say No and when you say Yes, you rarely follow through. 8. Someone cuts you off while driving and you flip them off. 9. You become physically or emotionally abusive to others when “THEY” make you mad. 10. You’re constantly looking to “feel good” whether it’s in the form of drinking, drugs, sex, social media, buying things you can’t afford, eating unhealthy in the name of “it tastes good” and on and on… Look, I find myself in many of these situations from time to time. Self Awareness isn’t a finite and concrete state of being. Once you learn to become self aware it takes daily practice and even then it can be difficult to have anything different than a conditioned response. We all have areas in our life that need improvement and I believe that each of these areas point back to a lack of self awareness. Once we have the tools to become self aware we will have more opportunities for the change we seek. I’m going to provide you with 5 Steps to becoming more Self Aware: 1. Pause – in any given situation pause long enough stay centered and grounded in your body. (Breathe) 2. Think – What thoughts are you having in that moment about the situation. 3. Meaning – What do your thoughts mean? That you are not enough? or that you are enough/matter/lovable, etc. 4. Feelings – What feelings are you having as a result of the meaning you applied to your thoughts? 5. Response – Respond based on your feelings ONLY WHEN they align to a meaning that you are good, lovable, etc. Some guidelines to consider when putting these steps into place are: Lots of Practice Forgive Yourself not “if” but “when” you make a mistake in this process Be Intentional and live on purpose! This is about YOU becoming more self aware of YOURSELF not you trying to read, change, or fix other people in an attempt for them to become self aware. Remember, as Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” Weekly ISA Challenge: Self Awareness 1. Practice the 5 steps to self awareness. 2. Journal what you observed about each of the steps in this process. 3. Start noticing patterns. 4. Don’t judge yourself, just notice and become an observer.

What is Self Awareness? My definition of self awareness is as follows: Observing and Understanding ones own response to internal/external physical and emotional stimuli. Now this isn’t a definition I’ve been sitting with for years. In fact, I haven’t really come up with a finite definition of Self Awareness until creating this podcast. Keep that in mind as this will likely shift for me overtime. Listen to the full podcast here! I’ve always said that the first step to change is self awareness. The reason many of us are stuck in the life we live isn’t because we don’t have the time, the money, know the right people, or aren’t good enough. The reason we are stuck or THINK that we are stuck is because we lack self awareness. This isn’t a knock on anyone. We’re taught from a young age to not trust what our body tells us. Caregivers tell us we’re not smart, not to cry, not to be scared, do what we’re told, and the list goes on and on. And every time we hear that shaming language a little bit of our self awareness gets lost. Soon we learn to rely on everything external to us to determine if everything inside is well. The weather, how much money I make, my position in my company, my celebrity status, my Facebook likes and Twitter follows, whether or not our partner is happy, the economic status of our country, Fridays, Vacations, and on and on… Some of us become so disconnected from who we are that when asked how we feel we’re completely numb. I’ve worked with many people who literally don’t know how they feel. Most everyone else has a sense of what they’re feeling but can’t quite describe it. How many times have you responded to the question, “How are you feeling” with “fine”, “good” or “ok”? Sure, if you’re talking to a stranger you may not want to get into all the complications of your life. But we respond this way to close family, friends, and even our partners as well. Fine, Good, and OK are not feelings. They are judgements. On the surface you might ask me, “Josh, why are you acting so critical? You know what I mean when I say these things and after all it’s just semantics. I would argue that this isn’t the case at all. How we feel often times dictates how we respond to life. We have a thought about something, we apply a meaning to that thought (often based on what’s happened in our past) and then we produce a feeling. From there we normally act upon it. If we’re feeling happy we often times laugh or smile and we’re more apt to be friendly. If we feel angry or frustrated we often act in accordance with those feelings too. So you might wonder or others that are close to you might wonder why you respond to life the way you do. Consider the following scenarios where you might question why you respond the way you do: 1. Stuck at a job you don’t like. 2. Stuck in a relationship you don’t want to be in. 3. Seem to never have enough time in the day. 4. Constantly putting yourself last and others first. 5. Others might call you a perfectionist. 6. You can’t commit. 7. You can’t say No and when you say Yes, you rarely follow through. 8. Someone cuts you off while driving and you flip them off. 9. You become physically or emotionally abusive to others when “THEY” make you mad. 10. You’re constantly looking to “feel good” whether it’s in the form of drinking, drugs, sex, social media, buying things you can’t afford, eating unhealthy in the name of “it tastes good” and on and on… Look, I find myself in many of these situations from time to time. Self Awareness isn’t a finite and concrete state of being. Once you learn to become self aware it takes daily practice and even then it can be difficult to have anything different than a conditioned response. We all have areas in our life that need improvement and I believe that each of these areas point back to a lack of self awareness. Once we have the tools to become self aware we will have more opportunities for the change we seek. I’m going to provide you with 5 Steps to becoming more Self Aware: 1. Pause – in any given situation pause long enough stay centered and grounded in your body. (Breathe) 2. Think – What thoughts are you having in that moment about the situation. 3. Meaning – What do your thoughts mean? That you are not enough? or that you are enough/matter/lovable, etc. 4. Feelings – What feelings are you having as a result of the meaning you applied to your thoughts? 5. Response – Respond based on your feelings ONLY WHEN they align to a meaning that you are good, lovable, etc. Some guidelines to consider when putting these steps into place are: Lots of Practice Forgive Yourself not “if” but “when” you make a mistake in this process Be Intentional and live on purpose! This is about YOU becoming more self aware of YOURSELF not you trying to read, change, or fix other people in an attempt for them to become self aware. Remember, as Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” Weekly ISA Challenge: Self Awareness 1. Practice the 5 steps to self awareness. 2. Journal what you observed about each of the steps in this process. 3. Start noticing patterns. 4. Don’t judge yourself, just notice and become an observer.

Ep. 13: 5 Steps to Becoming More Self Aware

When it comes to attention people typically fall into two camps: The Deserving and Unhealthy: These are people that think they are deserving of attention (hint: if you’re alive you are deserving of attention) but they were never really taught the healthy way of getting it. BTW, I totally fall into this camp and have struggled in this department most of my life. These people don’t think they should be left out of a conversation or ignored. On the contrary, they often times wind up using passive aggressive measures to seek the attention they lack. This is where we get into the obsessive selfie composers. No, this doesn’t mean if you take selfie’s you have attention seeking issues. This varies from person to person but I will say this. It’s the exception-not the rule- that if someone compulsively posts selfies of themselves that they have zero issues around seeking and receiving healthy attention. Of course this is just one example. I’ve even caught myself consuming a conversation without realizing it only to find out later I was lacking attention and when I finally received some I wanted to fill up as if I had an empty tank! The Undeserving and Unhealthy: These are people that don’t think they deserve any dosage of attention. They typically focus on everyone else and to the determinant of themselves. Unfortunately, these people that don’t think they need or deserve any attention normally feel left out, unwanted, unlovable and alone. They are literally abandoning themselves by not allowing any attention (certainly not healthy attention) to come into their lives. It’s a vicious cycle and ultimately they can wind up losing out on the very relationships they seek the most. And of course, there are people that have little issue as it relates to giving and receiving attention but they are few and far between. If that’s you then I still think you’re going to benefit from listening to this weeks podcast. Why? Because, I think you’re going to hear a different take than what you’re used to hearing. I also think it would be good to understand what most of your friends are facing as it relates to getting a healthy dose of attention. If you haven’t read my FREE ebook, “The 5 Day Self Love Challenge” then I highly recommend you do. Just below this post you’ll see a place to enter your name and email. I’ll send you a free copy of the ebook that includes some great exercises for you to try at home. Why do I mention my ebook and Self Love? Because giving and receiving attention is one major way that we also give an receive love. If we’re not ensuring we are receiving healthy levels of attention then we are sabotaging a fundamental need we all have – to be loved. So what’s the key to this whole attention thing? Well, you’ll need to listen to the podcast to get all the details but let me give you this one clue…getting healthy attention has more to do with giving it to ourselves than it does receiving it from others. The good news is that there are tangible things you can do to change this aspect of your life. In doing so you will definitely be on the path to take your life and your relationships to the next level. Two other quick reasons to listen to this weeks podcast (you can also listen + subscribe on iTunes). 1. Be the first to hear about something very special coming in January 2015 and how it could change your life. 2. I leave a fun tip at the end of the show for how to deal with those times you just feel bugged and want to snap out of it! With Gratitude + Appreciation – Oh, and BIG HUGS!

When it comes to attention people typically fall into two camps: The Deserving and Unhealthy: These are people that think they are deserving of attention (hint: if you’re alive you are deserving of attention) but they were never really taught the healthy way of getting it. BTW, I totally fall into this camp and have struggled in this department most of my life. These people don’t think they should be left out of a conversation or ignored. On the contrary, they often times wind up using passive aggressive measures to seek the attention they lack. This is where we get into the obsessive selfie composers. No, this doesn’t mean if you take selfie’s you have attention seeking issues. This varies from person to person but I will say this. It’s the exception-not the rule- that if someone compulsively posts selfies of themselves that they have zero issues around seeking and receiving healthy attention. Of course this is just one example. I’ve even caught myself consuming a conversation without realizing it only to find out later I was lacking attention and when I finally received some I wanted to fill up as if I had an empty tank! The Undeserving and Unhealthy: These are people that don’t think they deserve any dosage of attention. They typically focus on everyone else and to the determinant of themselves. Unfortunately, these people that don’t think they need or deserve any attention normally feel left out, unwanted, unlovable and alone. They are literally abandoning themselves by not allowing any attention (certainly not healthy attention) to come into their lives. It’s a vicious cycle and ultimately they can wind up losing out on the very relationships they seek the most. And of course, there are people that have little issue as it relates to giving and receiving attention but they are few and far between. If that’s you then I still think you’re going to benefit from <a href="http://traffic.libsyn.com/joshbecker/ISA_38.mp3" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">listening to this weeks podcast</a>. Why? Because, I think you’re going to hear a different take than what you’re used to hearing. I also think it would be good to understand what most of your friends are facing as it relates to getting a healthy dose of attention. If you haven’t read my FREE ebook, <a href="http://www.isimply.am/challenge" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">“The 5 Day Self Love Challenge”</a> then I highly recommend you do. Just below this post you’ll see a place to enter your name and email. I’ll send you a free copy of the ebook that includes some great exercises for you to try at home. Why do I mention my ebook and Self Love? Because giving and receiving attention is one major way that we also give an receive love. If we’re not ensuring we are receiving healthy levels of attention then we are sabotaging a fundamental need we all have – to be loved. So what’s the key to this whole attention thing? Well, you’ll need to listen to the podcast to get all the details but let me give you this one clue…getting healthy attention has more to do with giving it to ourselves than it does receiving it from others. The good news is that there are tangible things you can do to change this aspect of your life. In doing so you will definitely be on the path to take your life and your relationships to the next level. Two other quick reasons to listen to this weeks podcast (you can also <a href="http://www.isimply.am/itunes" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">listen + subscribe on iTunes</a>). 1. Be the first to hear about something very special coming in January 2015 and how it could change your life. 2. I leave a fun tip at the end of the show for how to deal with those times you just feel bugged and want to snap out of it! With Gratitude + Appreciation – Oh, and BIG HUGS!

Ep. 38: How To Get The Attention You Deserve Mindfully (selfie not required)

The practices of Self Help, Mindset, and Mindfulness aren’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although they can be. In this mini-episode of The I Simply Am podcast I show you how you can love yourself with just 120 seconds of your time. WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE How to join an amazing community of people in action! How to shift your mindset on starting your week. Taking action to start your week off with inspiration and intention LINKS MENTIONED Tired of wishing for change in your relationships or in your business? Ready to put an end to “wanting” and start shifting into real action?  click here to set up a FREE introductory coaching session with me! Join us on Facebook! 

The practices of Self Help, Mindset, and Mindfulness aren’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although they can be. In this mini-episode of The I Simply Am podcast I show you how you can love yourself with just 120 seconds of your time. WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE<ul> <li>How to join an <a href="http://www.theexperientials.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">amazing community</a> of people in action!</li> <li>How to shift your mindset on starting your week.</li> <li>Taking action to start your week off with inspiration and intention</li> </ul>LINKS MENTIONED<ul> <li>Tired of wishing for change in your relationships or in your business? Ready to put an end to “wanting” and start shifting into real action?  <a href="http://www.iamjoshbecker.com/intro" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">click here to set up a FREE introductory coaching session with me!</a></li> <li>Join us on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/iamjoshbecker" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Facebook!</a></li> </ul>

Ep. 90: 5 Paths To Self-Love In Less Than 120 Seconds

There are always going to be people in your life that are going to get on your nerves. Sometimes those people will be the closest to you and other times you won’t even know who they are. In either case, that feeling of annoyance is something we all try and avoid. Yet all too often we get caught up in the situation and ultimately it becomes exacerbated. Of course the easy thing to do is to avoid those people all together. Yet sometimes that’s just not an option. There are times our partners irritate us, our family gets on our nerves or our best friends get on our nerves. We’re not just going to leave these people because they get on our nerves from time to time. The truth is we likely get on their nerves just as often. Of course, there are people whom we can choose to avoid all together and who are merely acquaintances at best or even strangers. Whatever the case may be it doesn’t mean we have to let these people get on our nerves. Especially those people who are a more permanent fixture in our life. So what do we do? In this episode of the I Simply Am Podcast I share with you 4 tricks I personally use to avoid getting caught up in the criticism and judgement of others. In the past, I would allow myself to get pissed-off and upset by those that pushed my buttons but now I have a choice. Listen to the podcast where I share with you in detail how to you can apply this real life tools to your life starting today!  Boundaries (I explain how this is different than putting up a wall) A two-word response that works every time. Why what others say about you has more to do with them. How to deal with those feelings before they get stuck in your body  Would love to hear your thoughts and any tips you have when faced with others who criticize or judge you. Leave a comment below! Big Hugs,

There are always going to be people in your life that are going to get on your nerves. Sometimes those people will be the closest to you and other times you won’t even know who they are. In either case, that feeling of annoyance is something we all try and avoid. Yet all too often we get caught up in the situation and ultimately it becomes exacerbated. Of course the easy thing to do is to avoid those people all together. Yet sometimes that’s just not an option. There are times our partners irritate us, our family gets on our nerves or our best friends get on our nerves. We’re not just going to leave these people because they get on our nerves from time to time. The truth is we likely get on their nerves just as often. Of course, there are people whom we can choose to avoid all together and who are merely acquaintances at best or even strangers. Whatever the case may be it doesn’t mean we have to let these people get on our nerves. Especially those people who are a more permanent fixture in our life. So what do we do? In this episode of the I Simply Am Podcast I share with you 4 tricks I personally use to avoid getting caught up in the criticism and judgement of others. In the past, I would allow myself to get pissed-off and upset by those that pushed my buttons but now I have a choice. Listen to the podcast where I share with you in detail how to you can apply this real life tools to your life starting today! <ul> <li>Boundaries (I explain how this is different than putting up a wall)</li> <li>A two-word response that works every time.</li> <li>Why what others say about you has more to do with them.</li> <li>How to deal with those feelings before they get stuck in your body</li> </ul> Would love to hear your thoughts and any tips you have when faced with others who criticize or judge you. Leave a comment below! Big Hugs,

Ep. 37: How To Prevent Others From Getting On Your Nerves Once and For All

Self help and Mindfulness isn’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although it can be. In this episode of The I Simply Am podcast I’m going to show you how some really practical tips for stopping procrastination so you can get back to making those dreams a reality. I also show you specific things you can start doing today to make the changes you want to see for tomorrow.WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE The not so obvious reasons we procrastinate Why it’s okay to give yourself a pass on procrastination 4 Practical Tips to move forward in your life LINKS MENTIONED Support the show and get Bonus content by pledging! OmniFocus for task management Join us on Facebook!

Self help and Mindfulness isn’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although it can be. In this episode of The I Simply Am podcast I’m going to show you how some really practical tips for stopping procrastination so you can get back to making those dreams a reality. I also show you specific things you can start doing today to make the changes you want to see for tomorrow.WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE<ul> <li>The not so obvious reasons we procrastinate</li> <li>Why it’s okay to give yourself a pass on procrastination</li> <li>4 Practical Tips to move forward in your life</li> </ul>LINKS MENTIONED<ul> <li>Support the show and get Bonus content by <a href="http://www.patreon.com/iamjoshbecker" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">pledging!</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.omnigroup.com/omnifocus" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">OmniFocus</a> for task management</li> <li>Join us on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/iamjoshbecker" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Facebook!</a></li></ul>

Ep. 72: How to Stop Procrastinating, Starting…Tomorrow

The practices of Self Help, Mindset, and Mindfulness aren’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although they can be. In this episode of The I Simply Am podcast I share how you can find your truth when you don’t meet other people’s expectations. WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE Why other people feel the need to push their expectations on us The internal trigger that is pulled when expectations are placed on us Reframing the false power other people hold Finding our truth and showing up despite what others think LINKS MENTIONED Want to work privately with me? Let’s do it before my rates go up in 2017! To set up a FREE 60-minute session click here! Join us on Facebook! 

The practices of Self Help, Mindset, and Mindfulness aren’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although they can be. In this episode of The I Simply Am podcast I share how you can find your truth when you don’t meet other people’s expectations. WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE<ul> <li>Why other people feel the need to push their expectations on us</li> <li>The internal trigger that is pulled when expectations are placed on us</li> <li>Reframing the false power other people hold</li> <li>Finding our truth and showing up despite what others think</li> </ul>LINKS MENTIONED<ul> <li>Want to work privately with me? Let’s do it before my rates go up in 2017! To set up a FREE 60-minute session <a href="http://www.iamjoshbecker.com/intro" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">click here!</a></li> <li>Join us on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/iamjoshbecker" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Facebook!</a></li> </ul>

Ep. 76: How To Find Your Truth When You Don’t Meet Other People’s Expectations

The practices of Self Help, Mindset, and Mindfulness aren’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although they can be. In this mini-episode of The I Simply Am podcast I show you the first step (1 of 5) to finding your voice. WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE How to join an amazing community of people in action! How to shift your mindset on starting your week. Taking action to start your week off with inspiration and intention LINKS MENTIONED Tired of wishing for change in your relationships or in your business? Ready to put an end to “wanting” and start shifting into real action?  click here to set up a FREE introductory coaching session with me! Join us on Facebook! 

The practices of Self Help, Mindset, and Mindfulness aren’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although they can be. In this mini-episode of The I Simply Am podcast I show you the first step (1 of 5) to finding your voice. WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE<ul> <li>How to join an <a href="http://www.theexperientials.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">amazing community</a> of people in action!</li> <li>How to shift your mindset on starting your week.</li> <li>Taking action to start your week off with inspiration and intention</li> </ul>LINKS MENTIONED<ul> <li>Tired of wishing for change in your relationships or in your business? Ready to put an end to “wanting” and start shifting into real action?  <a href="http://www.iamjoshbecker.com/intro" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">click here to set up a FREE introductory coaching session with me!</a></li> <li>Join us on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/iamjoshbecker" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Facebook!</a></li> </ul>

Ep. 96: How To Find Your Voice – Part 1 of 5

In this weeks 10th episode of the I Simply Am Podcast I answer listener questions from episode 9 on forgiveness and apologies. In addition, I talk about what’s better than happiness and how you can get it. Finally, I give you the weekly ISA Challenge that you can try on your own! Read below for all the show notes and listen to the podcast for the complete show! ISA Q&amp;A   Cheyenne Christine Naegler writes in with some questions below (note: I’ve edited her actual message to format for this post. To read her complete message simply visit the original message on the I Simply Am Facebook page. “A friend of mine has her children respond to other people saying “I’m sorry” with “well, I don’t forgive you right now”. I’ve always kinda thought that was a good idea because I felt that forcing children or anyone to apologize wasn’t solving anything but rather creates people who accepted whatever happened to them. How does that all play into the forgiveness? We are all taught to apologise for doing something that hurts the other person be it accidentally or on purpose which is really a way for saying Please forgive me”, is it not? And is saying “it’s OK” another version of “I forgive you”? If it means the same &amp; we are saying we shouldn’t seek other’s forgiveness nor are we able to truly give it than do we apologise for hurting others?” First, if someone apologizes to us I don’t think it’s necessary to say, “I don’t forgive you right now”. It’s really none of their business if and/or when you ever forgive them because forgiveness is for yourself not for them. I do think it’s appropriate to say, “Thank you” or “I appreciate that”.  Letting them know you heard them is important and acknowledges that you’ve done just that. However, saying “thank you” or “I appreciate that” doesn’t mean you’re letting them off the hook either. It’s simply an acknowledgment and you can still choose to not talk to them or spend time with them.  To your question regarding replying with an “it’s ok” to an apology? I would only say that if you were truly in a place to do that. Again, forgiveness isn’t for them so it’s just not necessary to say anything other than “Thank you” or “I appreciate that”. My take on forgiveness vs apologizing: Forgiveness is for yourself, apologizing is mostly for the other person. An authentic apology isn’t done to get something in return (i.e.; forgiveness). Apologizing is your way of honoring your fallibility and letting the other person know that your behavior was unacceptable. They may choose to forgive you or they may not but you’re doing the responsible thing by honoring your own goodness. If you’re apologizing just so the other person “forgives” you then you’re acting irresponsible at best and inauthentic and manipulating at worse. Christine: “You mentioned that there are somethings that you just can’t forgive or move past I like to believe that we all choose our path for a reason and pull things to us so that we can learn certain lessons &amp; shape ourselves into who we really are. If we are forgiving ourselves &amp; can’t really forgive other’s than wouldn’t that mean that no matter the trauma you were a victim?” Yes and No. When we are traumatized by someone else we are a victim. I was held up at gunpoint many years ago and while handcuffed with a gun in my back I was asked if I wanted to die for the money. In that moment I was a victim. However, for many years after I struggled with a lot of fear. While I wasn’t a victim anymore (i.e.; the gun was only in my back for a few minutes while my fear lasted for years) I became a victim to the fear that I carried. My original point in the podcast is that some people were traumatized so brutally (take for example the 3 women that were kidnapped by Ariel Castro in the US) that even though they are no longer victims to their perpetrators they may always be a victim to those feelings they carry (i.e.; the fear). Obviously, they and we hope that they will recover but the point I was making was that the abuse can be so bad that they may never fully be free. It’s not a judgement on anyone, it’s just something that we all need to be aware of. Todd Adams from Zen Parenting Radio also wrote in with a question: “Loved the show this week. one thing i was hoping you might answer on your next show was how do we respond when somebody asks us for forgiveness and we haven’t done the work to authentically tell them what they want to hear without being rude?”  This is an awesome question Todd and one I really had to consider before answering! As I mentioned in episode 9 when others ask us for forgiveness it’s a boundary failure on their part. They are more concerned with feeling better about themselves which is why they’re asking in the first place. Second, they’re not concerned with whether or not you’ve healed from whatever happened, they just want to feel better. Knowing this, you still don’t want to be passive aggressive even when it’s really inappropriate for them to ask you. So, unless you have fully forgiven YOURSELF from the feelings associated with their actions I would reply with one of the following: “I love you AND I am still having some feelings about what happened.” “Our relationship is important to me and I need some time to process this.” “What happened isn’t working for me and I’m going to need time to process this.” Notice that the statements use “I” and not “you” – it’s about you and they can’t become defensive if you’re talking about yourself here. You don’t want to get into a back and forth with them about what they did or didn’t do. Remember, this whole process about forgiveness is for you in the first place. ISA Community Shout Out Melinda Helfand Stankowski, Dena Newman Dial, Valerie McBain, Kim Hall, Lucy Egerton, Jennifer Bullock (www.mommybknowsbest.com), and Sarah from @sarieslittlemen If you’d like to get an appreciation and a shout out join us on FB, Facebook.com/isimplyam and let me hear from you. I’ll be happy to mention your business or site here on the show. Show Topic: What’s Better Than Happiness and How You Can Get it! &lt;–Listen to the Podcast for the full show!  Today’s culture wants us to be happy all the time. If we’re not happy something must be wrong. We get to feel all our feelings. When we minimize one feeling (i.e.; sadness, grief, frustration) we minimize other feelings (happy, joy, hope) What’s better than happiness and how can you get it?  Feeling all your feelings Letting your feelings be just what they are and not becoming them Not chasing feelings – become addicted to “feeling good” and don’t know what to do when we don’t.    Weekly Challenge: Tell The Truth 1. When someone asks you how you’re feeling, tell them the truth. 2. Don’t respond with “fine”, “ok” or “good”. 3. Instead let them know you’re feeling happy, excited, relaxed or sad, frustrated, or angry 4. Own your feelings and don’t let what others are going to think about your feelings stop you from being honest and having them. It’s OK to not feel great all the time! If you allow yourself to feel whatever it is you’re feeling when you’re uncomfortable you’ll get to experience the fullness of happiness and joy when they come around!

In this weeks 10th episode of the I Simply Am Podcast I answer listener questions from <a href="http://www.isimply.am/9" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">episode 9</a> on forgiveness and apologies. In addition, I talk about what’s better than happiness and how you can get it. Finally, I give you the weekly ISA Challenge that you can try on your own! Read below for all the show notes and <a href="http://www.isimply.am/10" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">listen to the podcast</a> for the complete show! ISA Q&amp;A Cheyenne Christine Naegler writes in with some questions below (note: I’ve edited her actual message to format for this post. To read her complete message simply visit the original message on the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/isimplyam" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I Simply Am Facebook page.</a> “A friend of mine has her children respond to other people saying “I’m sorry” with “well, I don’t forgive you right now”. I’ve always kinda thought that was a good idea because I felt that forcing children or anyone to apologize wasn’t solving anything but rather creates people who accepted whatever happened to them. How does that all play into the forgiveness? We are all taught to apologise for doing something that hurts the other person be it accidentally or on purpose which is really a way for saying Please forgive me”, is it not? And is saying “it’s OK” another version of “I forgive you”? If it means the same &amp; we are saying we shouldn’t seek other’s forgiveness nor are we able to truly give it than do we apologise for hurting others?” First, if someone apologizes to us I don’t think it’s necessary to say, “I don’t forgive you right now”. It’s really none of their business if and/or when you ever forgive them because forgiveness is for yourself not for them. I do think it’s appropriate to say, “Thank you” or “I appreciate that”. Letting them know you heard them is important and acknowledges that you’ve done just that. However, saying “thank you” or “I appreciate that” doesn’t mean you’re letting them off the hook either. It’s simply an acknowledgment and you can still choose to not talk to them or spend time with them. To your question regarding replying with an “it’s ok” to an apology? I would only say that if you were truly in a place to do that. Again, forgiveness isn’t for them so it’s just not necessary to say anything other than “Thank you” or “I appreciate that”. My take on forgiveness vs apologizing: Forgiveness is for yourself, apologizing is mostly for the other person. An authentic apology isn’t done to get something in return (i.e.; forgiveness). Apologizing is your way of honoring your fallibility and letting the other person know that your behavior was unacceptable. They may choose to forgive you or they may not but you’re doing the responsible thing by honoring your own goodness. If you’re apologizing just so the other person “forgives” you then you’re acting irresponsible at best and inauthentic and manipulating at worse. Christine: “You mentioned that there are somethings that you just can’t forgive or move past I like to believe that we all choose our path for a reason and pull things to us so that we can learn certain lessons &amp; shape ourselves into who we really are. If we are forgiving ourselves &amp; can’t really forgive other’s than wouldn’t that mean that no matter the trauma you were a victim?” Yes and No. When we are traumatized by someone else we are a victim. I was held up at gunpoint many years ago and while handcuffed with a gun in my back I was asked if I wanted to die for the money. In that moment I was a victim. However, for many years after I struggled with a lot of fear. While I wasn’t a victim anymore (i.e.; the gun was only in my back for a few minutes while my fear lasted for years) I became a victim to the fear that I carried. My original point in the podcast is that some people were traumatized so brutally (take for example the 3 women that were kidnapped by Ariel Castro in the US) that even though they are no longer victims to their perpetrators they may always be a victim to those feelings they carry (i.e.; the fear). Obviously, they and we hope that they will recover but the point I was making was that the abuse can be so bad that they may never fully be free. It’s not a judgement on anyone, it’s just something that we all need to be aware of. Todd Adams from <a href="http://www.zenparentingradio.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Zen Parenting Radio</a> also wrote in with a question: “Loved the show this week. one thing i was hoping you might answer on your next show was how do we respond when somebody asks us for forgiveness and we haven’t done the work to authentically tell them what they want to hear without being rude?” This is an awesome question Todd and one I really had to consider before answering! As I mentioned in <a href="http://www.isimply.am/9" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">episode 9</a> when others ask us for forgiveness it’s a boundary failure on their part. They are more concerned with feeling better about themselves which is why they’re asking in the first place. Second, they’re not concerned with whether or not you’ve healed from whatever happened, they just want to feel better. Knowing this, you still don’t want to be passive aggressive even when it’s really inappropriate for them to ask you. So, unless you have fully forgiven YOURSELF from the feelings associated with their actions I would reply with one of the following: “I love you AND I am still having some feelings about what happened.” “Our relationship is important to me and I need some time to process this.” “What happened isn’t working for me and I’m going to need time to process this.” Notice that the statements use “I” and not “you” – it’s about you and they can’t become defensive if you’re talking about yourself here. You don’t want to get into a back and forth with them about what they did or didn’t do. Remember, this whole process about forgiveness is for you in the first place. ISA Community Shout Out Melinda Helfand Stankowski, Dena Newman Dial, Valerie McBain, Kim Hall, Lucy Egerton, Jennifer Bullock (<a href="http://www.mommybknowsbest.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.mommybknowsbest.com</a>), and Sarah from <a href="http://www.twitter.com/sarieslittlemen" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">@sarieslittlemen</a> If you’d like to get an appreciation and a shout out join us on FB, <a href="http://facebook.com/isimplyam" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Facebook.com/isimplyam</a> and let me hear from you. I’ll be happy to mention your business or site here on the show. Show Topic: What’s Better Than Happiness and How You Can Get it! &lt;–Listen to the Podcast for the full show! <ul> <li>Today’s culture wants us to be happy all the time.</li> <li>If we’re not happy something must be wrong.</li> <li>We get to feel all our feelings.</li> <li>When we minimize one feeling (i.e.; sadness, grief, frustration) we minimize other feelings (happy, joy, hope)</li> <li>What’s better than happiness and how can you get it? <ul> <li>Feeling all your feelings</li> <li>Letting your feelings be just what they are and not becoming them</li> <li>Not chasing feelings – become addicted to “feeling good” and don’t know what to do when we don’t.</li> </ul> </li> </ul> Weekly Challenge: Tell The Truth 1. When someone asks you how you’re feeling, tell them the truth. 2. Don’t respond with “fine”, “ok” or “good”. 3. Instead let them know you’re feeling happy, excited, relaxed or sad, frustrated, or angry 4. Own your feelings and don’t let what others are going to think about your feelings stop you from being honest and having them. It’s OK to not feel great all the time! If you allow yourself to feel whatever it is you’re feeling when you’re uncomfortable you’ll get to experience the fullness of happiness and joy when they come around!

Ep. 10: What’s Better Than Happiness and How You Can Get it!

In this weeks podcast I share with you a simple process I found that really helped me relieve a lot of stress I was dealing with. I highly encourage you to subscribe to the podcast and listen to this weeks episode! Before I get into the topic for the week on the podcast I share some information about someone I truly admire. Michael J. Chase founded The Kindness Center and speaks publicly, authored a book, and has helped thousands and thousands of people live a life of kindness. He’s truly an inspiration and he recently found himself expressing how brave, courageous, and vulnerable he is by asking for support! He’s created a special page asking for donations for his non-profit so he’s not forced to shut down this amazing Organization. In addition to supporting Michael, a $25 donation will also get you access to his recent course, “9 Choices The Happiest Courses Make”. I’m personally donating and highly encourage you to do the same! A Simple Way to Deal With Stress Stress rears its ugly head all too often for many of us. If you have a demanding job, are married, have children, or even go to school, stress is probably not a foreign concept to you. Yet, as often as stress shows up in our lives we’re not often given a lot of tools for how to deal with it. In fact, for most of us it’s talked about as if we just have to put up with it – like an annoying cold. Yet the difference between a cold and stress is that a cold is something that’s happening to our bodies. Stress on the other hand, is something that’s happening in our brains. Yes, it can be felt all over our bodies and has been linked to many diseases including heart disease it does originate in our heads. I don’t say this to mitigate or minimize the affects of it in our lives. I am making this distinction because it actually tells us some very promising news. If stress originates in our brains that means we have control over it! At least to the extent that we can take actionable steps to mitigate or minimize its affects. Last week was extra challenging for me and filled to the brim with stress. I was dealing with a lot of family issues in addition to a busy work week! There were some things I could physically do to take off my plate but others I just had to deal with. Sometimes when our plates get filled up there’s no other choice than for it to start to overflow. I think it’s when they overflow that we really start feeling those symptoms come on. I would up taking care of myself last week without recognizing what was happening until I spoke to a friend last night. When I was sharing with him what a week I had he said, “Boy Josh, you have your plate full!”. I replied, “Actually, I have a lot of plates!” and that was true! What I had been doing was collecting more plates! Let me explain… I came to realize that some of the things I was dealing with couldn’t be “fixed”. There were situations that I knew I just had to feel uncomfortable about. So even though I couldn’t necessarily fix the problems I knew I didn’t have to become overwhelmed as a result. So I reached out for more plates. I tweeted a friend and shared a little bit about what was going on. So a little bit of that stress went onto that plate. Then I had a Facebook chat with another friend about what was going on and a little bit more went onto that plate. I spoke to people on the phone, talked to my wife, and again more plates became available to hold some of that stress. I suddenly realized that by sharing my story with others I was able to take a little bit at a time off of my plate and know that it was safe on theirs. I didn’t ask anyone to “fix” me and simply asked for them to listen. Just the simple act of someone listening to you without giving any advice is healing in and of itself and that’s exactly what I got. I got some air and light on that stress and it thinned it out a bit. I took that weight off my plate and it was just a little bit lighter. So while I may have not made everything go away somethings aren’t meant to just go away. Sure, eventually they will and already this week things are much easier but that’s only because I chose to reach out. I chose to collect more plates and I chose to spread out all the weight and overwhelm of that stress. Take these steps for this weeks ISA Weekly Challenge: 1. When you feel stress come on remind yourself that because it’s in your brain you can do something about it! 2. Reach out to people (at least several people) and share whatever is comfortable for you just to get it out. 3. Ask them to listen to you without trying to fix or solve the problem. 4. Recognize that while the stress might still be there, you no longer have to bear all that weight. 5. Take a deep breath in appreciating that this is what self care and self love looks like.  Congratulations!

In this weeks podcast I share with you a simple process I found that really helped me relieve a lot of stress I was dealing with. I highly encourage you to <a href="http://www.isimply.am/itunes" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">subscribe</a> to the podcast and <a href="http://traffic.libsyn.com/joshbecker/ISA25.mp3" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">listen</a> to this weeks episode! Before I get into the topic for the week on the podcast I share some information about someone I truly admire. Michael J. Chase founded <a href="http://www.michaeljchase.com/the-kindness-center.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Kindness Center</a> and speaks publicly, authored a book, and has helped thousands and thousands of people live a life of kindness. He’s truly an inspiration and he recently found himself expressing how brave, courageous, and vulnerable he is by asking for support! He’s created a special page asking for donations for his non-profit so he’s not forced to shut down this amazing Organization. In addition to supporting Michael, <a href="http://www.michaeljchase.com/kindness-matters.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">a $25 donation</a> will also get you access to his recent course, “9 Choices The Happiest Courses Make”. I’m personally donating and highly encourage you to do the same! A Simple Way to Deal With Stress Stress rears its ugly head all too often for many of us. If you have a demanding job, are married, have children, or even go to school, stress is probably not a foreign concept to you. Yet, as often as stress shows up in our lives we’re not often given a lot of tools for how to deal with it. In fact, for most of us it’s talked about as if we just have to put up with it – like an annoying cold. Yet the difference between a cold and stress is that a cold is something that’s happening to our bodies. Stress on the other hand, is something that’s happening in our brains. Yes, it can be felt all over our bodies and has been linked to many diseases including heart disease it does originate in our heads. I don’t say this to mitigate or minimize the affects of it in our lives. I am making this distinction because it actually tells us some very promising news. If stress originates in our brains that means we have control over it! At least to the extent that we can take actionable steps to mitigate or minimize its affects. Last week was extra challenging for me and filled to the brim with stress. I was dealing with a lot of family issues in addition to a busy work week! There were some things I could physically do to take off my plate but others I just had to deal with. Sometimes when our plates get filled up there’s no other choice than for it to start to overflow. I think it’s when they overflow that we really start feeling those symptoms come on. I would up taking care of myself last week without recognizing what was happening until I spoke to a friend last night. When I was sharing with him what a week I had he said, “Boy Josh, you have your plate full!”. I replied, “Actually, I have a lot of plates!” and that was true! What I had been doing was collecting more plates! Let me explain… I came to realize that some of the things I was dealing with couldn’t be “fixed”. There were situations that I knew I just had to feel uncomfortable about. So even though I couldn’t necessarily fix the problems I knew I didn’t have to become overwhelmed as a result. So I reached out for more plates. I tweeted a friend and shared a little bit about what was going on. So a little bit of that stress went onto that plate. Then I had a Facebook chat with another friend about what was going on and a little bit more went onto that plate. I spoke to people on the phone, talked to my wife, and again more plates became available to hold some of that stress. I suddenly realized that by sharing my story with others I was able to take a little bit at a time off of my plate and know that it was safe on theirs. I didn’t ask anyone to “fix” me and simply asked for them to listen. Just the simple act of someone listening to you without giving any advice is healing in and of itself and that’s exactly what I got. I got some air and light on that stress and it thinned it out a bit. I took that weight off my plate and it was just a little bit lighter. So while I may have not made everything go away somethings aren’t meant to just go away. Sure, eventually they will and already this week things are much easier but that’s only because I chose to reach out. I chose to collect more plates and I chose to spread out all the weight and overwhelm of that stress. Take these steps for this weeks ISA Weekly Challenge: 1. When you feel stress come on remind yourself that because it’s in your brain you can do something about it! 2. Reach out to people (at least several people) and share whatever is comfortable for you just to get it out. 3. Ask them to listen to you without trying to fix or solve the problem. 4. Recognize that while the stress might still be there, you no longer have to bear all that weight. 5. Take a deep breath in appreciating that this is what self care and self love looks like. Congratulations!

Ep. 25: A Very Simple Way to Deal With Stress

Self help and Mindfulness isn’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although it can be. In this episode of The I Simply Am podcast I give you 4 steps to take back the power that anxiety has in your life. Self Love is a practice and a set of tools. Here’s a tool you can start using today! WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE Be the first to hear about my new book (coming soon)  The difference between present-time and carried feelings How to incorporate a mind/body approach. 4 Steps for reducing or removing the power of anxiety.  .tweet .action-buffer-container i, .tweet.opened-tweet .action-buffer-container i, .tweet.opened-tweet.hover .action-buffer-container i  { background-position: -3px -3px !important; } .tweet .action-buffer-container i { background-position: -3px -21px !important; }					Want to live the BEST version of YOU!? Take the FREE 5 Day Self Love Challenge and start living the life you want today!

Self help and Mindfulness isn’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although it can be. In this episode of The I Simply Am podcast I give you 4 steps to take back the power that anxiety has in your life. Self Love is a practice and a set of tools. Here’s a tool you can start using today! WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE<ul> <li>Be the first to hear about my new book (coming soon) </li> <li>The difference between present-time and carried feelings</li> <li>How to incorporate a mind/body approach.</li> <li>4 Steps for reducing or removing the power of anxiety.</li> </ul> .tweet .action-buffer-container i, .tweet.opened-tweet .action-buffer-container i, .tweet.opened-tweet.hover .action-buffer-container i { background-position: -3px -3px !important; } .tweet .action-buffer-container i { background-position: -3px -21px !important; }		 			Want to live the BEST version of YOU!? Take the FREE 5 Day Self Love Challenge and start living the life you want today!

Ep. 62: 4 Steps to End The Power of Anxiety In Your Life

Self help and Mindfulness isn’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although it can be. In this episode of The I Simply Am podcast I share why we fall into people pleasing and just how devastating it is to do so. I then share some practical ways you can put an end to people pleasing – starting right now! WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE    Learn why we tend to fall into the people pleasing trap Find out just how deeply people pleasing affects us Learn the difference between being nice and being a people pleaser Take steps today to put an end to people pleasing    WHAT’S MORE!? If you enjoy the podcasts and other messages I share then you’re really going to appreciate the 14 Day Self Love Project. For two weeks you will get a new “mini-assignment” shipped right to your inbox. Take 5 minutes a day for two weeks and find out what a difference the 14 Day Self Love Project can make in your life!	.tweet .action-buffer-container i, .tweet.opened-tweet .action-buffer-container i, .tweet.opened-tweet.hover .action-buffer-container i  { background-position: -3px -3px !important; } .tweet .action-buffer-container i { background-position: -3px -21px !important; }					Want to live the BEST version of YOU!? Take the FREE 5 Day Self Love Challenge and start living the life you want today!

Self help and Mindfulness isn’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although it can be. In this episode of The I Simply Am podcast I share why we fall into people pleasing and just how devastating it is to do so. I then share some practical ways you can put an end to people pleasing – starting right now! WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE <ul> <ul> <ul> <li>Learn why we tend to fall into the people pleasing trap</li> <li>Find out just how deeply people pleasing affects us</li> <li>Learn the difference between being nice and being a people pleaser</li> <li>Take steps today to put an end to people pleasing</li> </ul> </ul> </ul> WHAT’S MORE!? If you enjoy the podcasts and other messages I share then you’re really going to appreciate the <a href="http://www.14dayselfloveproject.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">14 Day Self Love Project</a>. For two weeks you will get a new “mini-assignment” shipped right to your inbox. Take 5 minutes a day for two weeks and find out what a difference the <a href="http://www.14dayselfloveproject.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">14 Day Self Love Project</a> can make in your life!	 .tweet .action-buffer-container i, .tweet.opened-tweet .action-buffer-container i, .tweet.opened-tweet.hover .action-buffer-container i { background-position: -3px -3px !important; } .tweet .action-buffer-container i { background-position: -3px -21px !important; }		 			Want to live the BEST version of YOU!? Take the FREE 5 Day Self Love Challenge and start living the life you want today!

Ep. 48: Put An End To People Pleasing

Self help and Mindfulness isn’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although it can be. In this episode of The I Simply Am podcast I give you the first step to dealing with anxiety and overwhelm. Self love is a practice and a set of tools. Here’s a tool you can start using today! WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE    Find out what got me feeling all anxious this morning Learn how to overcome those big feelings of anxiety Take that first step to living a life with anxiety Here what’s happening in our next special episode    WHAT’S MORE!? If you enjoy the podcasts and other messages I share then you’re really going to appreciate the 14 Day Self Love Project. For two weeks you will get a new “mini-assignment” shipped right to your inbox. Take 5 minutes a day for two weeks and find out what a difference the 14 Day Self Love Project can make in your life!

Self help and Mindfulness isn’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although it can be. In this episode of The I Simply Am podcast I give you the first step to dealing with anxiety and overwhelm. Self love is a practice and a set of tools. Here’s a tool you can start using today! WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE <ul> <ul> <ul> <li>Find out what got me feeling all anxious this morning</li> <li>Learn how to overcome those big feelings of anxiety</li> <li>Take that first step to living a life with anxiety</li> <li>Here what’s happening in our next special episode</li> </ul> </ul> </ul> WHAT’S MORE!? If you enjoy the podcasts and other messages I share then you’re really going to appreciate the <a href="http://www.14dayselfloveproject.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">14 Day Self Love Project</a>. For two weeks you will get a new “mini-assignment” shipped right to your inbox. Take 5 minutes a day for two weeks and find out what a difference the <a href="http://www.14dayselfloveproject.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">14 Day Self Love Project</a> can make in your life!

Ep. 49: The First Step To Overcoming Anxiety

Perfectionism affects us all. Whether there are certain areas of our life where we think we need to get it perfect or it’s our way of life. It’s a funny thing too because as much awe think deep down inside it’s no good for us in many ways we actually stand behind it as if we’re somehow better for it. It creeps up on us whenever we’re creating anything. Even this post, I wonder if I’m going to get it “just write”. The podcast that these show notes support, did I get that perfect? The answer is No and that’s okay. For perfectionism has stopped me from moving forward in life way too many times. It’s why I decided to create this weeks podcast and why I think it’s important to share the truth behind perfectionism. It’s also why I decided to put out this weeks challenge in support of how we can live our best version of who we are. Perfectionism isn’t something that helps us get to the next level. It’s not something that ensures we get to live our dreams. In fact, what we can be certain about is that perfectionism keeps us small, prevents us from building the kinds of relationship we desire, fulfill the dreams we long for, and ultimately live the kind of life we really want to live. I’ve identified 4 things I know are true about perfectionism along with the lessons learned. For the complete story check out this weeks podcast on iTunes or listen to it directly here! People Pleasures suffer from it: Those of us that suffer from people pleasing are usually perfectionists too. We figure if we’re going to make sure “they” like it then it has to be perfect. We don’t want them to think any less of us or to feel anything less than amazing all the time. Lesson: You’re not responsible for how other people feel! If you press to hard on this you’re actually manipulating them instead of letting them actually feel whatever it is they’re going to feel. Do you want to be a manipulator? While pleasing others is a wonderful thing “People Pleasures” take it a step further and the driving force under it all is perfectionism. You Are Enough: Often times we think we need to get it perfect because we’ve accidentally and unintentionally confused who we are with what we do! If it’s not perfect then that means that I’m not perfect. I can’t be less than perfect so I need to make sure this is perfect. No! No! No! This is all backwards! Lesson: STOP THIS! When you were born you didn’t create anything and yet you were a good enough baby, right? Being enough is our starting place not something we get to after “getting it right”. Perfectionists never think they’re enough because they’re always trying to prove that by getting it just right (perfect). You are Fallible: Part of being a whole person means you’re made up of many different qualities. One quality that you might not think is a quality is fallibility. This means you GET to make mistakes. Mistakes aren’t bad in and of themselves. Mistakes allow you to learn and to grow. Mistakes are opportunities for you to get back to being curious and create or be creative. Imagine if you got everything right all the time you’d never be curious and you’d probably stop creating eventually. The passion and the drive to create would be dried up as you’d already know exactly how it was going to turn out. Lesson: The next time you beat yourself up for making a mistake, instead realize that this is actually what makes you whole. Embrace that and celebrate that and know that it is okay. Being a perfectionist actually convinces you you’re not whole by making you think it’s not okay to get it anything less than perfect! Perfectionists are driven by fear: When you are in perfectionist mode you’re in fear mode. You’re preventing yourself from moving forward out of fear that it’s not just right. Perfectionism is the perfect disguise for fear because it leads people to think that you’re super caring or detailed. The reality is you’re fear is in the drivers seat and you’re in the passenger seat. That is no place to be when you’re the creator of your own life.  Lesson: Think about progress, not perfection. You no longer have to let fear run your life and whether you want to call it fear or not if you’re a perfectionist then fear is in the drivers seat. I’m building my first online course right now. You better believe that perfectionism has shown up and I’ve had to be real careful about letting it take over! There’s a difference between caring and ensuring what you create is the best it can be and being suffocated by perfectionism. The truth is, if I let perfectionism take over I’d never release this course and both you and I would have lost. ISA Weekly Challenge: 1. Think of an area in your life where you fall victim to perfectionism. 2. Remind yourself that you are not responsible for other peoples feelings. 3. Remind yourself that you are enough as you are and nothing you create is going to change that one way or the other. 4. Remind yourself that you get to make mistakes and that you enjoy staying curious and creative. 5. Go ahead and feel fear but choose to act based on something else, like who you are! Remember, progress not perfection. What things in your life are you a perfectionist about? What one thing are you going to get off your plate this week that’s been hanging around waiting to be just right?

Perfectionism affects us all. Whether there are certain areas of our life where we think we need to get it perfect or it’s our way of life. It’s a funny thing too because as much awe think deep down inside it’s no good for us in many ways we actually stand behind it as if we’re somehow better for it. It creeps up on us whenever we’re creating anything. Even this post, I wonder if I’m going to get it “just write”. The podcast that these show notes support, did I get that perfect? The answer is No and that’s okay. For perfectionism has stopped me from moving forward in life way too many times. It’s why I decided to create this weeks podcast and why I think it’s important to share the truth behind perfectionism. It’s also why I decided to put out this weeks challenge in support of how we can live our best version of who we are. Perfectionism isn’t something that helps us get to the next level. It’s not something that ensures we get to live our dreams. In fact, what we can be certain about is that perfectionism keeps us small, prevents us from building the kinds of relationship we desire, fulfill the dreams we long for, and ultimately live the kind of life we really want to live. I’ve identified 4 things I know are true about perfectionism along with the lessons learned. For the complete story check out this weeks podcast on <a href="http://www.isimply.am/itunes" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">iTunes</a> or listen to it directly <a href="http://traffic.libsyn.com/joshbecker/ISA26.mp3" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>! People Pleasures suffer from it: Those of us that suffer from people pleasing are usually perfectionists too. We figure if we’re going to make sure “they” like it then it has to be perfect. We don’t want them to think any less of us or to feel anything less than amazing all the time. Lesson: You’re not responsible for how other people feel! If you press to hard on this you’re actually manipulating them instead of letting them actually feel whatever it is they’re going to feel. Do you want to be a manipulator? While pleasing others is a wonderful thing “People Pleasures” take it a step further and the driving force under it all is perfectionism. You Are Enough: Often times we think we need to get it perfect because we’ve accidentally and unintentionally confused who we are with what we do! If it’s not perfect then that means that I’m not perfect. I can’t be less than perfect so I need to make sure this is perfect. No! No! No! This is all backwards! Lesson: STOP THIS! When you were born you didn’t create anything and yet you were a good enough baby, right? Being enough is our starting place not something we get to after “getting it right”. Perfectionists never think they’re enough because they’re always trying to prove that by getting it just right (perfect). You are Fallible: Part of being a whole person means you’re made up of many different qualities. One quality that you might not think is a quality is fallibility. This means you GET to make mistakes. Mistakes aren’t bad in and of themselves. Mistakes allow you to learn and to grow. Mistakes are opportunities for you to get back to being curious and create or be creative. Imagine if you got everything right all the time you’d never be curious and you’d probably stop creating eventually. The passion and the drive to create would be dried up as you’d already know exactly how it was going to turn out. Lesson: The next time you beat yourself up for making a mistake, instead realize that this is actually what makes you whole. Embrace that and celebrate that and know that it is okay. Being a perfectionist actually convinces you you’re not whole by making you think it’s not okay to get it anything less than perfect! Perfectionists are driven by fear: When you are in perfectionist mode you’re in fear mode. You’re preventing yourself from moving forward out of fear that it’s not just right. Perfectionism is the perfect disguise for fear because it leads people to think that you’re super caring or detailed. The reality is you’re fear is in the drivers seat and you’re in the passenger seat. That is no place to be when you’re the creator of your own life.  Lesson: Think about progress, not perfection. You no longer have to let fear run your life and whether you want to call it fear or not if you’re a perfectionist then fear is in the drivers seat. I’m building my first online course right now. You better believe that perfectionism has shown up and I’ve had to be real careful about letting it take over! There’s a difference between caring and ensuring what you create is the best it can be and being suffocated by perfectionism. The truth is, if I let perfectionism take over I’d never release this course and both you and I would have lost. ISA Weekly Challenge: 1. Think of an area in your life where you fall victim to perfectionism. 2. Remind yourself that you are not responsible for other peoples feelings. 3. Remind yourself that you are enough as you are and nothing you create is going to change that one way or the other. 4. Remind yourself that you get to make mistakes and that you enjoy staying curious and creative. 5. Go ahead and feel fear but choose to act based on something else, like who you are! Remember, progress not perfection. What things in your life are you a perfectionist about? What one thing are you going to get off your plate this week that’s been hanging around waiting to be just right?

Ep. 26: What Every Perfectionist Needs To Know

The practices of Self Help, Mindset, and Mindfulness aren’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although they can be. In this mini-episode of The I Simply Am podcast I show you 3 super simple self-care practices you can do today! WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE How to join an amazing community of people in action! How to shift your mindset on starting your week. Taking action to start your week off with inspiration and intention LINKS MENTIONED Tired of wishing for change in your relationships or in your business? Ready to put an end to “wanting” and start shifting into real action?  click here to set up a FREE introductory coaching session with me! Join us on Facebook! 

The practices of Self Help, Mindset, and Mindfulness aren’t just for people experiencing life altering situations, although they can be. In this mini-episode of The I Simply Am podcast I show you 3 super simple self-care practices you can do today! WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE<ul> <li>How to join an <a href="http://www.theexperientials.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">amazing community</a> of people in action!</li> <li>How to shift your mindset on starting your week.</li> <li>Taking action to start your week off with inspiration and intention</li> </ul>LINKS MENTIONED<ul> <li>Tired of wishing for change in your relationships or in your business? Ready to put an end to “wanting” and start shifting into real action?  <a href="http://www.iamjoshbecker.com/intro" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">click here to set up a FREE introductory coaching session with me!</a></li> <li>Join us on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/iamjoshbecker" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Facebook!</a></li> </ul>

Ep. 92: 3 Super Simple Self-Care Practices

Over the last week or two I heard from several people asking me to talk about Self Forgiveness. While I have done a few episodes of the podcast on forgiveness they were primarily focused on forgiving others. Yet, forgiving ourselves is quite possibly the best gift we could give ourselves. It’s my hope that by the end of this podcast that you’ll have an even deeper understanding of the following:  How harmful it is to not forgive yourself How self hatred plays into it The 7-step process for forgiving yourself  We all make mistakes every day. Some of them are pretty minor and others aren’t but one thing for certain is that we can be really cruel to ourselves. Often times we’re much harder on ourselves than the people we’ve wronged. So why is this? Shame is a sticky and toxic thing and we carry it around deep in our psyche. From a young age, likely around 5 – 7, we started getting messages that we weren’t enough. Whether it was that we weren’t beautiful enough, smart enough, good enough, or fill in your favorite “not enough”. These messages started coming in so often that we took them in as our own. Fast forward 20, 30, 40 years and those same messages are still there! When we make a mistake shame takes the opportunity to stick to any guilt we feel! As soon as we make a mistake those same old messages of not being enough creep right back in and shame is there to finish us off! Once this happens the mistake we made goes from something we did wrong to the horrible person we are. But aren’t we allowed to make mistakes? Shouldn’t we be a little less harsh with ourselves? Isn’t it harmful to carry around all this shame with us? YES! YES! and YES! Listen to today’s podcast where I share a mistake I made when I laughed at my son! So what should happen when we make a mistake? Well, if we’re not going to allow shame to take over us, stay in the present, and be mindful about our life the following would likely happen. 1. Make a mistake 2. Acknowledge that we made a mistake 3. Feel guilt 4. Look for ways to make amends 5. Allow guilt to drift away as we continue to love ourselves Sounds great, huh? Yeah, doesn’t usually work that way right? Usually it looks something like this… 1. Make a mistake 2. Acknowledge we made a mistake 3. Feel guilt 4. Look for ways to make amends 5. Berate and self-shame ourselves by saying how horrible we are and what failures we are 6. Guilt turns into shame 7. Isolate and go into hyper-sensitivity mode in the future as to try and avoid those situations reminding ourselves we suck 8. Likely attract more situations in our life that remind us how not enough we are and the cycle continues It actually looks a little worse than this but I was going easy on you! LOL As you can see, it’s a viscous cycle that doesn’t have a pretty ending. This is why shame = self hatred. We love ourselves by giving ourselves what David Richo calls, “The Five A’s” (Attention, Acceptance, Allowance, Appreciation, and Affection). How much loving attention are you giving yourself when you focus on your lack and how horrible you are? How are you accepting yourself by telling yourself you are a horrible person? How are you allowing for your fallible nature when you call yourself a screw up? How are you appreciating yourself when you call yourself an idiot? How are you giving yourself affection when you emotionally abuse yourself? As you can see, when we make mistakes and don’t forgive ourselves, it’s called Self Hatred. It sounds harsh but it’s the antithesis of loving ourselves! Seems pretty clear to me and I’m guessing you’d agree that self hatred isn’t exactly what’s going to take your life or my life to the next level, right? So I think we all agree we need to forgive ourselves but how?? I go into these 7 steps in much more detail in the podcast and it’s only 36 minutes long (you can listen to it while you’re driving, doing the dishes, jogging, or laying in bed)! Listen here on iTunes! But let me give you a quick run down of those 7 steps right now. 1. Accept that I am fallible. It’s your right as a human to make mistakes! To deny your fallibility is to deny your wholeness.  Stop abandoning yourself and rejecting yourself when you make mistakes! You have a right to make mistakes! This is a very important step. 2. Choose to live in the present. Guilt is a present time feeling. Shame is a feeling that was born in the past. When we make mistakes it’s okay to feel guilty. Feel the guilt and then let that guilt turn into compassion (our next step). When that guilt turns to shame (i.e.; I’m not enough) is when we have serious problems. 3. Be compassionate towards ourselves. We talk about compassion for others but what about ourselves? Decide you’re not going to beat yourself up anymore. Let that guilt turn into compassion for yourself. Acknowledging you made a mistake and that you’re experiencing pain as well. Gently carry yourself to make amends and restore what is right but do it with self compassion. 4. Understand how shame works. We’re taught that we’re not enough from a young age. Shame is sticky and finds anything to attach to. Make a mistake? Shame sticks to it reminding you that you’re a screw up, not good enough, and need to pay for that. Remind yourself that shame is always present in our lives but that you have a choice to let it in. The moment you see yourself talking about not being enough shut it down! Acknowledge this is crap from the past that just isn’t true. 5. Be aware of the difference between guilt and shame. It’s okay to feel that present-time feeling of guilt. It means that you care and that you acknowledge you hurt someone. Stay in the present though and notice if you go back to the past – back to that place of shame. Know the difference so you can stay present! 6. It’s a practice Yes, you will screw up forgiving yourself!  That’s okay, just forgive yourself for not forgiving yourself!  This is a practice and will take time. Know that you’re not going to get this right the first time. Keep at it and practice! 7. Get Support Find a close friend or relative who will listen. Shame loves isolation so get it out and just share what’s happening with you. I hope you find these 7-steps helpful as you move throughout your day and your week. You can use this process with a simple and benign mistake or one that’s pretty serious. Either way, your ability to show up in full and live the life you want is going to be directly impacted by how mindful and self-loving you are. So, I want to hear from you! Let me know what recent mistake you made and how you’re going to implement this process or another one that works for you!

Over the last week or two I heard from several people asking me to talk about Self Forgiveness. While I have done a few episodes of the podcast on<a href="http://www.isimply.am/isa-09-the-truth-behind-forgiveness/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> forgiveness </a>they were primarily focused on forgiving others. Yet, forgiving ourselves is quite possibly the best gift we could give ourselves. It’s my hope that by the end of this podcast that you’ll have an even deeper understanding of the following: <ul> <li>How harmful it is to not forgive yourself</li> <li>How self hatred plays into it</li> <li>The 7-step process for forgiving yourself</li> </ul> We all make mistakes every day. Some of them are pretty minor and others aren’t but one thing for certain is that we can be really cruel to ourselves. Often times we’re much harder on ourselves than the people we’ve wronged. So why is this? Shame is a sticky and toxic thing and we carry it around deep in our psyche. From a young age, likely around 5 – 7, we started getting messages that we weren’t enough. Whether it was that we weren’t beautiful enough, smart enough, good enough, or fill in your favorite “not enough”. These messages started coming in so often that we took them in as our own. Fast forward 20, 30, 40 years and those same messages are still there! When we make a mistake shame takes the opportunity to stick to any guilt we feel! As soon as we make a mistake those same old messages of not being enough creep right back in and shame is there to finish us off! Once this happens the mistake we made goes from something we did wrong to the horrible person we are. But aren’t we allowed to make mistakes? Shouldn’t we be a little less harsh with ourselves? Isn’t it harmful to carry around all this shame with us? YES! YES! and YES! <a href="http://traffic.libsyn.com/joshbecker/ISA33.mp3" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Listen to today’s podcast</a> where I share a mistake I made when I laughed at my son! So what should happen when we make a mistake? Well, if we’re not going to allow shame to take over us, stay in the present, and be mindful about our life the following would likely happen. 1. Make a mistake 2. Acknowledge that we made a mistake 3. Feel guilt 4. Look for ways to make amends 5. Allow guilt to drift away as we continue to love ourselves Sounds great, huh? Yeah, doesn’t usually work that way right? Usually it looks something like this… 1. Make a mistake 2. Acknowledge we made a mistake 3. Feel guilt 4. Look for ways to make amends 5. Berate and self-shame ourselves by saying how horrible we are and what failures we are 6. Guilt turns into shame 7. Isolate and go into hyper-sensitivity mode in the future as to try and avoid those situations reminding ourselves we suck 8. Likely attract more situations in our life that remind us how not enough we are and the cycle continues It actually looks a little worse than this but I was going easy on you! LOL As you can see, it’s a viscous cycle that doesn’t have a pretty ending. This is why shame = self hatred. We love ourselves by giving ourselves what David Richo calls, “The Five A’s” (Attention, Acceptance, Allowance, Appreciation, and Affection). How much loving attention are you giving yourself when you focus on your lack and how horrible you are? How are you accepting yourself by telling yourself you are a horrible person? How are you allowing for your fallible nature when you call yourself a screw up? How are you appreciating yourself when you call yourself an idiot? How are you giving yourself affection when you emotionally abuse yourself? As you can see, when we make mistakes and don’t forgive ourselves, it’s called Self Hatred. It sounds harsh but it’s the antithesis of loving ourselves! Seems pretty clear to me and I’m guessing you’d agree that self hatred isn’t exactly what’s going to take your life or my life to the next level, right? So I think we all agree we need to forgive ourselves but how?? I go into these 7 steps in much more detail in the podcast and it’s only 36 minutes long (you can listen to it while you’re driving, doing the dishes, jogging, or laying in bed)! <a href="http://www.isimply.am/itunes" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Listen here on iTunes!</a> But let me give you a quick run down of those 7 steps right now. 1. Accept that I am fallible. It’s your right as a human to make mistakes! To deny your fallibility is to deny your wholeness.  Stop abandoning yourself and rejecting yourself when you make mistakes! You have a right to make mistakes! This is a very important step. 2. Choose to live in the present. Guilt is a present time feeling. Shame is a feeling that was born in the past. When we make mistakes it’s okay to feel guilty. Feel the guilt and then let that guilt turn into compassion (our next step). When that guilt turns to shame (i.e.; I’m not enough) is when we have serious problems. 3. Be compassionate towards ourselves. We talk about compassion for others but what about ourselves? Decide you’re not going to beat yourself up anymore. Let that guilt turn into compassion for yourself. Acknowledging you made a mistake and that you’re experiencing pain as well. Gently carry yourself to make amends and restore what is right but do it with self compassion. 4. Understand how shame works. We’re taught that we’re not enough from a young age. Shame is sticky and finds anything to attach to. Make a mistake? Shame sticks to it reminding you that you’re a screw up, not good enough, and need to pay for that. Remind yourself that shame is always present in our lives but that you have a choice to let it in. The moment you see yourself talking about not being enough shut it down! Acknowledge this is crap from the past that just isn’t true. 5. Be aware of the difference between guilt and shame. It’s okay to feel that present-time feeling of guilt. It means that you care and that you acknowledge you hurt someone. Stay in the present though and notice if you go back to the past – back to that place of shame. Know the difference so you can stay present! 6. It’s a practice Yes, you will screw up forgiving yourself!  That’s okay, just forgive yourself for not forgiving yourself! This is a practice and will take time. Know that you’re not going to get this right the first time. Keep at it and practice! 7. Get Support Find a close friend or relative who will listen. Shame loves isolation so get it out and just share what’s happening with you. I hope you find these 7-steps helpful as you move throughout your day and your week. You can use this process with a simple and benign mistake or one that’s pretty serious. Either way, your ability to show up in full and live the life you want is going to be directly impacted by how mindful and self-loving you are. So, I want to hear from you! Let me know what recent mistake you made and how you’re going to implement this process or another one that works for you!

Ep. 33: 7 Steps to Self Forgiveness

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