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#3 I Have Got Some People Waiting For Me. Aziz’s life has been a story of chance – and choice. As Michael pieces together Aziz’s journey from Sudan to Manus, he realises Aziz has been searching for a safe place for about eight years. So what gives him the ability, and the energy, to speak out? How has Aziz fought for so long, and what makes him want to be ‘the messenger’? ‘I’m pretending like I’m really happy, and laugh, and you know, smiling on the phones and doing stuff like that – so they feel like, “Oh, my son is really living in a good environment”. So they think like that, but the opposite is the truth.’ Aziz Aziz tells Michael, ‘I have got some people ...waiting for me. They love me, they want me to be with them.’ Haltingly, and sometimes with great difficulty, Aziz starts to share stories about his home, the family that he longs to see, and why he fled. Looking to find out more, Michael speaks to Sudan expert Anne Bartlett about the current situation there. As Aziz shares snapshots from his past, Anne talks Michael through the conflict in Sudan, which, despite leaving the headlines long ago, continues to unfold. Michael worries that he’s adding to Aziz’s trauma by digging up painful memories – ever aware of how hard it is to have these kinds of conversations in short, overlapping messages, without the benefit of reading someone’s signals face to face. Meanwhile, Aziz weighs up how much to tell his family about Manus, and explains to Michael why he’s sometimes tortured by regret. Warning: This episode of The Messenger includes graphic content and mentions self-harm. If you or someone you know needs help, you can contact one of Australia’s national 24/7 crisis services such as Lifeline on 13 11 14 or at lifeline.org.au, or the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467. Transcript Download a PDF transcript of this episode here. In this episode Abdul Aziz Muhamat Michael Green Associate Professor Anne Bartlett, University of New South Wales, President of the Sudan Studies Association Our theme music was composed by Raya Slavin. Music used in this episode includes: 'Blue Milk' by Stereolab, 'Up the Box' by Andy Stott, 'Feld' by To Rococo Rot, 'Firefly' and 'Four-Day Interval' by Tortoise, 'Cutting Branches for a Temporary Shelter' by Penguin Cafe Orchestra, 'Ending' by Kazumasa Hashimoto, 'Remedios the Beauty' by Oren Ambarchi, 'Lazyboat' and 'Vostok' by Triosk, 'Passages' by Bowery Electric, 'Self Seal Mishap' by Tennis and 'Ba Ba' by Sigur Rós. More information The Messenger is a co-production of Behind the Wire and the Wheeler Centre. It’s produced by Michael Green, André Dao, Hannah Reich and Bec Fary, with Jon Tjhia and Sophie Black at the Wheeler Centre.Narration by Michael Green. With reporting by Abdul Aziz Muhamat. Additional fact checking by the Guardian's Ben Doherty; transcription by Claire McGregor, Victoria Grey, Camilla Chapman, Lena Lettau and many more. This episode was edited and mixed by Bec Fary and Jon Tjhia. Thank you Dana Affleck, Angelica Neville and Sienna Merope. Also to Cameron Ford and Heidi Pett, and to Behind the Wire’s many participants and volunteers. Behind the Wire is supported by the Bertha Foundation.
#107: The Scariest Navy SEAL I've Ever Met...And What He Taught Me. Jocko Willink (@jockowillink) is one of the scariest human beings imaginable. He is a lean 230 pounds. He is a Brazilian jiu-jitsu expert who used to tap out 20 Navy SEALs per workout. He is a legend in the Special Operations world. His eyes look through you more than at you. He rarely does interviews, if ever. But a few weeks ago, Jocko ended up staying at my house and we had a caffeinated mind meld. Here's some background... Jocko enlisted in the Navy after high school and spent 20 years in the SEAL Teams, first as an enlisted SEAL operator and then as a SEAL officer. During his second tour in Iraq, he led SEAL Task Unit Bruiser in the Battle of Ramadi--some of the toughest and sustained combat in the SEAL Teams since Vietnam. Under his leadership, Task Unit Bruiser became the most highly decorated Special Operations Unit of the entire war in Iraq and helped bring stability to Ramadi. Jocko was awarded the Bronze Star and a Silver Star. Upon returning to the United States, Jocko served as the Officer-in-Charge of training for all West Coast SEAL Teams, designing and implementing some of the most challenging and realistic combat training in the world. So why is Jocko opening up? Well, in part, we have mutual friends. Second, he is the co-author of an incredible new book — Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win -- which I've been loving. Trust me. Buy it. This is his first mainstream interview and one you won't want to miss. Show notes and links for this episode can be found at www.fourhourworkweek.com/podcast. This podcast is brought to you by Wealthfront. Wealthfront is a massively disruptive (in a good way) set-it-and-forget-it investing service, led by technologists from places like Apple and world-famous investors. It has exploded in popularity in the last 2 years, and now has more than $2.5B under management. In fact, some of my good investor friends in Silicon Valley have millions of their own money in Wealthfront. Why? Because you can get services previously limited to the ultra-wealthy and only pay pennies on the dollar for them, and it’s all through smarter software instead of retail locations and bloated sales teams Check out wealthfront.com/tim, take their risk assessment quiz, which only takes 2-5 minutes, and they’ll show you—for free–exactly the portfolio they’d put you in. If you want to just take their advice and do it yourself, you can. Or, as I would, you can set it and forget it. Well worth a few minutes: wealthfront.com/tim. Mandatory disclaimer: Wealthfront Inc. is an SEC registered Investment Advisor. Investing in securities involves risks, and there is the possibility of losing money. Past performance is no guarantee of future results. Please visit Wealthfront dot com to read their full disclosure. This podcast is also brought to you by 99Designs, the world’s largest marketplace of graphic designers. Did you know I used 99Designs to rapid prototype the cover for The 4-Hour Body? Here are some of the impressive results. Click this link and get a free $99 upgrade. Give it a test run...
I've Had Better. [Contains mature themes] He reached out because a year after the discovery of his affair, they aren’t fighting anymore, but they certainly haven’t moved on. Esther guides them towards a more honest conversation, and a revelation about their communication.
01: John Gottman - How to Be a Master of Relationship. Welcome! My guest today is Dr. John Gottman, one of the world's leading experts on how to have an amazing relationship. He and his wife Julie currently operate The Gottman Institute in Seattle, offering numerous resources and training. Join us for a deep dive into their work! Dr. Gottman’s findings are largely based on the conclusions he has made over many years of research and observations of couples. He and his team have how to be a master (and avoid being a disaster) at relationship. Dr. Gottman discusses the following topics: “The Sound Relationship House” - what is the foundation for a relationship that lasts? Learn the importance of having high expectations in relationship, and also uncover ways in which what you'd *think* would be good for your relationship is actually counterproductive. Dr. Gottman identifies Styles of Confronting Conflict: Volatile, Validating, and Conflict-Avoiding. All of these conflict styles can lead to successful relationships. Learn what to do if you and your partner are mismatched in your conflict style. Dr. Gottman discusses “bids” we make with our partner as an attempt to connect. Are you a "yes" to your partner's bids? Are they a yes to yours? “Bids” that fail are often the beginnings of conflict. How do things change if you start paying attention and responding to your partner's bids in a positive way? Mindfulness is the key to noticing these bids and avoiding conflict. “Small Things Often” - a reminder to turn toward these bids in the small moments of life. Dr. Gottman's concept of startup is a way of thinking about what you bring to your interactions with your partner. Do you start in a place that's already positive, and thinking highly of your partner? Or do you start in a place where you are suspecting the worst of your partner? Build up your emotional bank account with small compliments (deposits). According to John, there are three phases of any relationship: Falling in Love (initial), Building Trust (middle), and Cherishing Your Partner (long-term intimacy). What phase are you in? The key to success is using strategies that are appropriate for where you are in your relationship. The key to more sex is having the freedom to say "no" without being punished for it. If refusing sex can actually have a positive payoff, then it will actually lead to a couple having a more satisfying (and frequent) sex life. Do you ever wonder how to make a good relationship GREAT? Focus on cherishing your partner. What if YOU are the only partner who wants to make changes? Can you make a difference? Absolutely. Learn how shifts in your approach can have a profound affect on your relationship. The key to success in a relationship isn't that nothing bad ever happens. It's how well you as a couple learn how to repair after those things occur. John discusses how you can learn to repair, and the positive effects that has on long-term relationships. Do you know how to decide if you’re in a bad relationship? When you're with your partner, are you at your best? Or are you veering off towards your worst? Gottman offers this simple guideline for how to know whether to stay or go. Also what to think about BEFORE you decide that you're on the wrong path. Join us for these topics and more. Dr. Gottman has practical information that can improve your relationship TODAY! Links and Resources: What Makes Love Last: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal by Dr. John Gottman The Gottman Institute, Seattle www.gottman.com www.neilsattin.com/gottman (visit to download a .pdf of this episode guide along with John Gottman's "Dreams in Conflict" exercise to help couples who seem to have irreconcilable differences. You can also text “PASSION” to 33444 for instructions on how to download the guide. If you download the guide within the first week of this show's airing, you will also qualify for a chance to win a free signed copy of Dr. Gottman’s book "What Makes Love Last".) The Relationship Alive Community on Facebook Amazing intro/outro music provided courtesy of: The Railsplitters - Check them Out!