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Health & Fitness

Real Relationships With Paula

Updated 2 days ago

Health & Fitness
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Paula is a Relationship Expert, speaker and author of Embracing Conflict - aself-help guide filled with practical tools and insights empoweringindividuals to overcome challenges and enable personal growth.

Read more

Paula is a Relationship Expert, speaker and author of Embracing Conflict - aself-help guide filled with practical tools and insights empoweringindividuals to overcome challenges and enable personal growth.

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Cover image of Real Relationships With Paula

Real Relationships With Paula

Updated 2 days ago

Read more

Paula is a Relationship Expert, speaker and author of Embracing Conflict - aself-help guide filled with practical tools and insights empoweringindividuals to overcome challenges and enable personal growth.

Rank #1: Emotional Eating

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Niche Radio — Renny Letswalo is the chairperson of Cambridge Weight Plan South Africa and shares her journey of having to lose weight for health reasons which propelled her into wanting to help others achieve their weight goals, live a healthier lifestyle and how our relationship with food plays a large role in our lives and overall wellbeing.

Twitter: @CWPSA
FB: https://www.facebook.com/cambridgeweightplansa/
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Mar 19 2018
21 mins
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Rank #2: Work Life Balance is a Myth

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Niche Radio — Many of us are chasing the elusive work/life balance in the hope that we can start living life. However work life balance is a myth as they are very much integrated and it’s finding the balance that works for you, your family and your lifestyle. This we we discuss how you can achieve a balance that works for you by prioritizing the 12 core areas of your life and the small changes you can make to shift your life into a balance that leaves you feeling in control of your life instead of the proverbial hamster on the wheel feeling.
Feb 19 2018
11 mins
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Rank #3: Are you a victim of gas-lighting?

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Niche Radio — Gas-lighting is an effective form of emotional abuse that causes a victim to question their own feelings, instincts, and sanity and is generally carried out to give the perpetrator a sense of power and control over their victim. The term originally comes from the 1938 stage play Gas Light, in which a husband attempts to drive his wife crazy by dimming the lights which were powered by gas in their home and then denies it happened when his wife questions him. Even though the term has been around for a while, the term narcissism is more widely used. Chances are if you have been involved with a narcissist, you may well have been gas-lighted. The movie “The Girl on the Train” is a good example of this behaviour.
If you’re looking for ways to develop yourself, have a healthy sense of self and your own boundaries, then you may want to consider signing up for my Mancave Mastermind or Womenology Masterclass programs. The program is a 6-month personal growth and development program ultimately empowering individuals to become a better person, partner and leader. The next groups kick off in Jan 2018 and has been a life changing program those that have attended to date. Click here for more details.
PS. Niche Radio won Lifestyle Blog last year and is in the running for Blog of The Year again in 2017. Please help us by voting for us here.
Dec 11 2017
14 mins
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Rank #4: Tips for healthy Relationships

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Niche Radio — There are 6 key relationships we have throughout our lifetime: self, partner, family, friends, peers and spiritual. How we show up in our relationships and what we bring into our relationship space will determine the health and quality of our relationships. This week I share tips and insights on each of these areas as to how we can empower ourselves and improve these relationships to ultimately live happier and healthier lives. The happier and healthier our relationships, the more loved and fulfilled we feel in life as a whole.
Sep 04 2017
20 mins
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Rank #5: Married At First Sight

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Niche Radio — Relationships are complex at the best of times but when you take a single person, match them with a complete stranger, let them meet for the first time at the alter when they say “I do”, one can only imagine how this marriage will turn out. Arranged marriages are not an uncommon phenomenon, they happen primarily in the indian community and some black cultures but have been around for decades. Many of you may know I am on the panel of experts for Married at First Sight SA and this week I speak to Lihle from MAFSSA Season 1 about her journey on the show and the insights she’s gained as a result thereof.

You can follow me here:
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Aug 28 2017
15 mins
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Rank #6: Healing Children

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Niche Radio — More than 20% of children will have a mental health issue at some point in their lives—but parents often don’t recognize or admit their child needs help until an average of 8 years after the first symptoms – frequently when they have reached a state of crisis. Today I speak to Dr Kurt Newman, who is president and CEO of Children’s National Medical Center in Washington, D.C. and is widely recognized as one of the nation’s best pediatric hospitals. Dr Newman has been a surgeon at Children’s National for over thirty years and is a professor of surgery and paediatrics at George Washington University School of Medicine & Health Sciences. His recently published book Healing Children is the story of his own career and of the brave kids he has treated over the years—and their equally brave and tenacious parents. Anyone who has seen a child recover from a wound or a broken bone knows that kids are made to heal. Their bodies are more resilient, more adaptive, and far more able to withstand acute stress than adults. You can read more about Dr Newman’s book Healing Children here

You can follow me here:
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Aug 21 2017
19 mins
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Rank #7: Black and Bisexual

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Niche Radio — Relationships are challenging at the best of times but add extra complexities to that such as being bisexual, and it can get a lot more complicated. There is no particular lifestyle attached to bisexuality - bisexual people come in all shapes and sizes, from all sorts of occupations, and with all levels of education. Your sexual orientation does not determine who you are or what you do, however many people suffer discrimination or violence because of misperceptions and prejudice from people who are straight, gay, or lesbian. Most of these perceptions come from the ‘unknown’ in other words majority of us are afraid to ask questions to satisfy our curiosity and when we do this, we gain more insight and a deeper understanding of the topic and person(s) involved.
This week I chat to Patrick who is black, male and bisexual to help us understand more about the world he lives in.

You can follow me here:
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Aug 07 2017
18 mins
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Rank #8: Moving Back Home With Your Parents

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Niche Radio — As a teenager growing one, one of the first things you can’t wait to achieve is getting your driver’s license followed closely by moving out of home into your own place so that you can live life the way you want and not have to conform to your parent’s rules and restrictions. However there comes a time when you may be forced to move back into with your parents and that can be quite a transition for both you the one moving back home as well as your parents – each party having established their routines whilst on their own and now having to integrate lifestyles, schedules and differing views and opinions. If not managed properly, it can lead to conflict and clashes amongst family members.
Jul 24 2017
21 mins
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Rank #9: Dealing with Addiction

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Niche Radio — When we think of addiction we traditionally think of drug and alcohol abuse, however there are various types of addictions such as emotional eating, self-harming (i.e. cutting), pornography and more. This week I talk to John Smith who is a recovering addict himself and now works with other addicts to help them transition into healthier life choices. John shares his journey, where it started for him and how his relationships were impacted as a result thereof his addiction and how 11 years later, it is still a daily challenge to keep going.

Please follow me on social media here:

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May 22 2017
23 mins
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Rank #10: Living with Infertility

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Niche Radio — There are a number of challenges that can really test a relationship such as moving house, changing jobs and having children.

However, some of the silent killers that are not really spoken about are having to deal with infertility as a result of health or medical reasons.

The latest reports show that about 15% of South African couples experience infertility problems in other words they are struggling to fall pregnant and have children.

This week I chat to Billy and Jackie who share their journey with us as to how they dealt with infertility and the impact it had on them as individuals and as a couple.

If you want to know the secret to having a great relationship, have a look at my upcoming Building Relationships workshop for singles and couples on 27 May 2017.

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Apr 10 2017
12 mins
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Rank #11: Surviving an Affair

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Niche Radio — Recent stats state that 65% of couples cheat at some point or other. Now cheating can mean different things to different people. For some, it is the physical act itself with someone whilst for others, it can be as simple as messaging someone behind your partners back. Whatever it might be for you, the impact can be devastating on so many levels.

In my podcast this week, I share tips on how you can overcome an affair and rebuild your relationship stronger than before.

In a nutshell, you need to:

Be completely open and honest about the affair in as much detail as possible.
Cut all ties with the person you were having the affair with and focus all your energy on rebuilding your relationship.
Focus on building the trust again in little ways every day
Take full responsibility for the affair and don’t apportion blame
Understand what caused your relationship to break down that an affair ensued
Forgiveness does not happen overnight but rather over time
Healing is a process and healing comes from forgiving
Commit together to make the necessary changes to rebuild your relationship
Listen to my previous podcasts on tips and tools on how to have a healthy relationship, how to bring the spark back and how to not get caught up in the blame game.

There are only a few seats left on my upcoming Building Relationships workshop on 25 Feb 2017, you can book your seat here!

Follow me on social media here:

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Feb 19 2017
15 mins
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Rank #12: Surviving a Long Distance Relationship

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Niche Radio — Relationships take work, daily. But long distance relationships have the added complexity of distance and therefore require some additional effort to keep it alive and thriving.

This week I chat about some of the ways you can keep your long distance relationship on track and going the distance.

You can follow me here:

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Feb 13 2017
9 mins
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Rank #13: Bring Back The Spark

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Niche Radio — Couples that have been together for a few years run the risk of getting into a familiar routine in their relationship where they are comfortable with each other and their day to day interactions. The risk with this is that comfort zones can become complacent and when a couple is complacent, their relationship can become dull and boring including the physical aspect of their relationship. So how do you keep the spark alive? Well you have to constantly build the intimacy and connection between each other. Often intimacy and sex are confused as one and the same thing but they are not.
How do you know the spark is gone in your relationship?
Look out for these key signs:
• You’re not attracted to your partner anymore

• Everything in your relationship seems like hard work

• You’re not having much (if any) nooky time

• You have no connection or communication outside of day-to-day chores

• You only focus on the negatives in your relationship

• Your relationship is not a priority

• You just couldn’t be bothered anymore.
Listen to my podcast for more insights.
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Jan 30 2017
22 mins
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Rank #14: Are you ready for a Relationship?

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Niche Radio — Many single people say they want a relationship and are ready to meet someone but have not done the work it takes to be ready to accept someone into their lives.

Before you can attract your ideal partner, you need to be very clear on the type of partner you would like. Otherwise how will you know it is ‘the one’ if you don’t even know what it is you’re looking for?

This week I discuss how to know you are ready for a relationship and how you can become ready by focusing on a few key areas.
Download the Partner Checklist and use it to establish clear criteria on what it is that you are looking for in a partner and a relationship.
If you are interested in doing more work like this you might want to consider the Mancave Mastermind Program for men and the Womenology Masterclass for women where we discuss topics like this as well as elements such as goal setting, overcoming setbacks, personal relationships, work relationships, leadership and mentorship traits and much more. The next groups kick off in Jan 2017.
You can also follow me here:

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Dec 19 2016
9 mins
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Rank #15: The Blame Game

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Niche Radio — When we get stuck in the blame game there can be no winning, only degrees of losing.

This is probably one of the hardest cycles for a couple to break when they are caught up in the blame game. It’s a constant keeping score, stonewalling, waiting for the other to make the first move and more. When in fact very little actually happens and instead the wedge just gets driven deeper and deeper between the two until there is no coming back from it and the relationship completely breaks down.

Here are some questions you can use that will go a long way to start getting you out of the blame game cycle and back on the same page with each other again:

What can I do that can create more safety in our relationship?
How can I talk about my own experience without blaming my partner?
How can I be more curious about what my partner is experiencing even if I don’t agree with them?
How can I let go of the need to be right?

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” ~Dr. Robert Anthony

If you have any questions about this week’s podcast or would like to hear about a specific topic, please pop me an email paula@paulaquinsee.com I’d love to hear from you.

You can also find some great FREE tools on my website here for couples and here for singles.

Paula Quinsee is a Relationship Expert in Johannesburg. She teaches individuals and organisations how to cultivate healthy relationships in their personal lives and workplace using EQ skills, Imago Therapy and NLP principles. Paula is also the author of Embracing Conflict - a self-help guide filled with practical tools and insights. Attend one of her regular monthly workshops for great empowering tools - www.paulaquinsee.com
Nov 21 2016
12 mins
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Rank #16: What’s Your Brand Story?

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Niche Radio — Kelebogile Makhafola, the Rain Queen of Maruapula Brand shares her insights with us on why a Brand needs to have an essence, what that says about your brand and how that creates the relationship you have with your customers and how they will treat you as a brand.
Twitter: https://twitter.com/maruapulabrand
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/maruapulabrand/
FB: https://www.facebook.com/maruapulabrand
Follow me on social media:

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Google+ twitter.com · www.instagram.com · www.facebook.com
May 21 2018
19 mins
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Rank #17: Healthy Hearts

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Niche Radio — Dr Nikki Stamp is one of one of eleven female heart surgeons in the whole of Australia. We chat about some of the challenges she has had to face in getting to where she is today, why heart health is important and her new book ‘Can You Die of a Broken Heart’.
Twitter: @drnikkistamp
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drnikkistamp/

Follow me on social media:

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Google+ twitter.com · www.facebook.com
May 14 2018
26 mins
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Rank #18: Global Unite

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Niche Radio — Dynamic duo Ann Kleyhans and Christian Heath have teamed up to form Global Unite, a world movement and NPC to promote world peace and aims to inspire, encourage and influence not only states and organisations but people throughout the globe to encourage “Change or to be Changed”. Christian wrote the theme song “ONE” and we chat about their vision and how you can get involved to support the cause.

Twitter: @globalunite1, @ChristianHth, @KleynhansAnn

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/globalunite/ twitter.com · twitter.com · twitter.com · www.facebook.com
May 07 2018
24 mins
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Rank #19: Growing Dandelions

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Niche Radio — Medina Harverye founder of Dandelion Breeze shares her passion of empowering young entrepreneurs through her business by mentoring and uplifting them to excel for true transformation. We are also joined by one of her young dandelions Zizo Tshwete who shares her experience of being exposed to this energetic and thriving space to shine as a business entrepreneur in her own right.

Twitter: @RealZizoBeda, @Dandelionbreez1

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dandelionbreezesouthafrica twitter.com · twitter.com · www.facebook.com
Apr 30 2018
23 mins
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Rank #20: Should I stay or Should I go?

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Niche Radio — There are times when we question our relationship, particularly in those dark moments when everything feels like hard work and we’re questioning whether it’s worth it or not…

Before you think about ending your relationship, there are some questions you need to ask yourself as part of your decision making process:

1. Are you there for all the right reasons?

2. What do you really love about your partner?

3. How badly do you want to fix your relationship?

4. What is your level of commitment to making the relationship work?

5. How will you both keep each other accountable to uphold your end of the deal and keep your relationship from slipping back into old habits?

Even if your relationship is not in a negative place, asking each other these questions can help you breathe new energy into your relationship.

We seldom review our relationships as to what’s working and what’s not working and only realise that something is wrong when we’re heading down the rocky road to break-up or divorce.

Find out more about the Mancave Mastermind program for men, or you can also find out more information about my workshops on my website, or follow me on Facebook or Twitter.

You can also pop an email to paula@paulaquinsee.com, I’d love to hear from you and answer any questions you may have or other topics you would like to know more about.
Nov 08 2016
8 mins
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