Rank #1: You Make It Feel Like Christmas- Gwen Stefani f. Blake Shelton Decomposition
Katie was a big No Doubt fan back in the day. This year, for Christmas, Gwen Stefani released her own terrible, terrible album of Christmas tunes. "You Make It Feel Like Christmas," didn't (or hasn't yet) reached the top of some oddly specific Billboard charts. Even with the combined might of The Voice power couple, Stefani and Blake Shelton, they aren't pulling in the numbers. Probably because its just a bunch of cobbled together, trite, sugary sweet winter imagery. We also spend quite a bit of time discussing the hour-long Target ad that was her Christmas special...the costumes, the guest celebrities, the lack of comedy (?) and, of course, the lip-syncing.
Rank #2: Decomposition: Love Story - Taylor Swift
For Labor Day we welcome 2 Decomposition all-stars, Teresa and Josh, to try to talk Katie down. As an English professor and Shakespeare buff she tends to get fired up when students don't finish the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet. Spoiler; she's the only one of the 4 of us that has read the play. Nevertheless, Tay-tay got her biggest hit single by ruining the ending. Was this a Latin-pop hit? Did she sell more than Billy Shakes? Sahwnetts...again. Whats more gross, teenager marriage or teenagers banging? Is she emulating Madonna or THE Madonna. All this and the G.D. Scarlet Letter in our super-long Labor Day episode.
Rank #3: Do You Believe In Love- Huey Lewis and the News Decomposition
Patrick Bateman was correct, despite how you feel about his murderous rampage, about Huey Lewis and the News. This is one of Brad's favorite bands. Katie is on board, for the most part, but still finds them to be cheesy. Darin is way, way, WAAAAAAY on board. When they team up against Katie then she is the one who gets schooled!
This song, penned by legendary producer Mutt Lange, was Hu-Lew-and-the-New's first big hit song, which paved the way for 18 other Top 10 hits, was perhaps their cheesiest song with the dumbest lyrics. Cheesy in a wonderful way, though, like a crunchy mozzarella...Darin...right?
Katie learns some hard truths in this episode and we sing lots and lots of great songs.
The Virgin Chronicles:
Rank #4: Walk Like An Egyptian- The Bangles Decomposition
Holy Banana! This is a strange song. Somehow it's about people trying to keep their balance on a ferry. Written by Lionel Whatshispuss. It also features MOST of the Bangles singing and playing their instruments. The massive success of this song may have been the beginning of the end of the Bangles, but it sure lives on in our hearts. Also, if anyone wants to put together a Ladies of the 80's festival, please float us some free tix. Ok, thanks.
Rank #5: Actors Gone Rogue: She's Like The Wind
Dirty Dancing, Patrick Swayze, Lameness, This week we discuss "She's Like the Wind," by One-hit wonder and 1991's Sexiest Man Alive, Patrick Swayze. How sexy is a sax solo?
Rank #6: Back Up Off Me!- Doctor Dre and Ed Lover (f. T-Money) Decomposition
Doctor Dre (not Dr. Dre) and Ed Lover are living legends. They helped bring hip-hop to the masses as hosts of Yo! Mtv Raps. They worked with Run DMC and the Beastie Boys before putting out their own album. It did not do well. However, the title track is a remarkable amount of fun. Cobbled together from bits of other classic hip-hop songs, it is musical Prozac. Who are the suckers? Who is Davy? Funky Santa! What did T-Money do? What did these guys have in common with T.S. Elliot? Don't worry, Katie is able to draw a comparison. I double-dog dare you to NOT want to hear this song every single morning, first thing, in order to put yourself in a wonderful mood. Unimportant. Enjoy our "flow," as we go over one of the most quotable rap songs of all time.
Rank #7: The Humpty Dance- Digital Underground Decomposition
This is an amazing song. It seems goofy, but upon closer inspection you really get the sense of genius that goes into it. It promotes body-positivity, not being afraid to do your own thing, world peace, and humptiness forever.
There is so much happening in this episode. Every time we get to see Natty its a good time filled with laughs. Therefore, we couldn't really edit out a whole lot. So strap in and enjoy the silliness and we break down the greatest hip-hop song of all time "The Humpty Dance."
The Bumperpodcast: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/bumperpodcast/id330037859
The Dumbfellas Podcast: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dumbfellas/id1374036329?mt=2
Rank #8: Rude- Magic! Decomposition
This week we are joined by teacher, music lover, and friend, Teresa to discuss the ubiquitous 2014 hit “Rude.” Does Magic!’s Canadian accent improve the rhyme scheme in this song? Who is the rude one in the story being told? What on Earth does it mean to be “boys at the altar?” Why is this god-damned song so catchy?
Rank #9: China Girl- David Bowie Decomposition
HEAR YE! HEAR YE! David Bowie and Iggy Pop cordially invite you to the drug ball!!
"Let's Dance," was rock-legend David Bowie's most commercially successful album. It also contained this garbage number. Co-written and originally recorded by Iggy Pop, it may be about a Vietnamese woman. But the racism really hit a new peak when David Bowie recorded it years later. Is it racist? Or not racist? Or about drugs?
Rank #10: Joey Lawrence: Katie's Dark History
This week we discuss Katie's first album purchase; Joey Lawrence by Joey Lawrence. What we discover MAY surprise you...unless you already like this album, then it wont. (spoilers)
Rank #11: Tarzan Boy- Baltimora Decomposition
Forest or jungles? Are they the same? Sara live-fact-checks us until we get her to join in the conversation. TMNT III. Nonsense all-around and a new bleeping record.
There are too many versions of this song.
Rank #12: Decomposition: Closer To The Heart- Rush
This week we welcome friend and Rush super-fan Chris to our home in order to fight about Rush. We chose this song because its short...for Rush. Forgive the audio issues during the first half, we aren't professionals. Also, I hope you speak Spanish.
Rank #13: Brave- Sara Bareilles Decomposition
Katie HATES Sara Bareilles. It is an irrational hatred that she struggles to explain. She feels sorry about that...and she feels GREAT when she can find even the most basic of justification. Meanwhile, friend and Baltimorian, Matt, doesn't even know the song...but that's fine because he also recognizes the shortcomings of this song. It's as if Bareillis determined that she knows whats best for her friend struggling to come out of the closet. But only so that she feels good about herself. We also spend an inordinate amount of time telling/ not telling when this episode was recorded...maybe this past weekend, maybe a month ago. Who knows, really?
There are a lot of tangeants and ridiculousness, which is par for the course when hanging out with Matt. You can tell the drinks were being had before, during and after the recording. We never learn Matt's middle name, and we certainly don't understand why Katie hates BAREILLEEESSSS so much.
Aside from that there's all the Katy Perry stuff that happens.
Rank #14: Decomposition: Summer Girls- LFO
There is so, so much going on in this week's episode. Pop rocks, Cherry Pez, Boogaloo Shrimp, Mister Limpet, B-ball style and...sawnetts...Were the douche-boys of LFO cut from the same cloth as Samuel Beckett? Probably not, but maybe. Also, dude's name is Rich. Strap in and enjoy the nonsense.
Rank #15: Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)- Big & Rich Decomposition
This episode is all over the place. Country pop, Hich-hop, disco? Equine preservation societies. PETA members. It's very confusing. Katie gets a new nickname (Kathryn the Better-Than-Most.) Sexy cows, sexy accountants, Love pirates, Omarion.
All over the place.
Great song, though.
Also, we find out whether or not Nashville has a Broadway
Rank #16: Addams Groove- (MC) Hammer Decomposition
Happy Halloween! Brad is hopped up on vitamins, caffeine, and beer for an episode on what may be our most ridiculous song to date. MC Hammer was a global sensation who was not above a cash-grab movie tie-in. He's very clearly not familiar with the source material. Brad gets real for a moment when discussing his connection to The Addams Family. Is Hammer telling a story? Who is the pope of Oak-town? We learn all about his posse, Bones, Swoop, Goofy and Randy. Katie makes the obvious comparison between Stanley Kirk Burrell and Wordsworth. Did Hammer have to move back in with his parents? In Oakland or Central Park? Also, pepper for your chicken? Please Hammer, don't hurt 'em.
Rank #17: How Bizarre- OMC Decomposition
Pauly Fuemana, the sometimes-ascot-wearing New Zealander/ Polynesian gang member, had a far more bizarre life than this song would have you believe. In fact, the story in the song is quite dull. They drive, they chat with a friendly cop, then maybe hit up a circus. And yet, it was all over the airwaves back in 1995/96/97. Enjoy the giggles in this one. Was it Pauly Fuemana's first day speaking English? Was Pele some type of religious figure? Why couldn't the circus afford more than one monkey? Should you buy the rights?
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Rank #18: Walk the Dinosaur- Was (Not Was) Decomposition
This is a crazy, fun, ridiculous song... which is why we love it. Super-producer, Don Was, created something that makes no sense, and yet somehow makes perfect sense. What would you use to make a drink called "Monkey Skull." Does this song take place in the Mario Bro.s movie universe? How did they watch Miami Vice AND passing cars 40 million years ago? And exactly how is this a song about nuclear annihilation?
Great tune. Listen to it on your favorite cruise.
Rank #19: Tal Bachman- She's So High Decomposition
History, myth, religion, ancient aliens, and the perfect child-murder scenario. This episode really has it all! Starting our second year, we talk about the song that inspired us to do this podcast in the first place. It isn't the worst song, by any means, but it definitely has plenty of flaws. Also, Ian Starglow... whatever the hell that is.
Rank #20: Decomposition: All I Want to Do is Make Love to You- Heart
Katie gets straight up uncomfortable. Is "walk through the garden," a worse phrase than "make love?" Were Ann & Nancy Wilson the J.P. Morgans of Sperm Banking? How many orgasms did she have with this anonymous partner? And, of course, is the narrator just ot of her GD mind? Happy Anniversary, Katie.