Rank #1: Decomposition: Love Story - Taylor Swift
For Labor Day we welcome 2 Decomposition all-stars, Teresa and Josh, to try to talk Katie down. As an English professor and Shakespeare buff she tends to get fired up when students don't finish the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet. Spoiler; she's the only one of the 4 of us that has read the play. Nevertheless, Tay-tay got her biggest hit single by ruining the ending. Was this a Latin-pop hit? Did she sell more than Billy Shakes? Sahwnetts...again. Whats more gross, teenager marriage or teenagers banging? Is she emulating Madonna or THE Madonna. All this and the G.D. Scarlet Letter in our super-long Labor Day episode.
Rank #2: When It Rains It Pours- Luke Combs Decomposition
Fellow Mountaineer Luke Combs (aka Redneck Shrek) has exploded this year on the country music scene. He should have finished out his last day at school, perhaps he would have learned what the saying "When It Rains It Pours," actually means. Where exactly is I-65? Why on Earth would a Carolinian choose Miller Lite over Southpaw? Donna basically sings this entire episode, the dog gets handsy, and John Arbuthnot...whoever that is.
Rank #3: Decomposition: Bang Bang- Jessie J f. Ariana Grande & Nicki Minaj
This week we decompose the 2014 hit "Bang, Bang." What does Jessie J think this song is about? What does "Dippin' in the pot of blue photo," mean? Is this song any good? Why are 3 men writing a song about ladies (or girls if you're REAL dirty) Bang Bangin' all over you?
It gets gross, everybody.
Rank #4: Fairytale of New York- The Pogues (feat. Kirsty MacColl) Decomposition
The Pogues never had a hit in the U.S. However, this song has become an annual favorite on radio stations all over the country and has landed on the British charts 14 times. I guess if Elvis Costello dares you to write a Christmas song then you do it. We get into their possible homophobia, drug use, binge drinking, and the sad story behind this very non-traditional Christmas song/ Irish folk tune. Is it somehow inspired by An American Tale? Then we spend some time discussing the tragic story of Kirsty MacColl's life and the very WTF circumstances behind it. All that and Katie's perspective on the "Baby It's Cold Outside," nonsense.
Rank #5: Walk Like An Egyptian- The Bangles Decomposition
Holy Banana! This is a strange song. Somehow it's about people trying to keep their balance on a ferry. Written by Lionel Whatshispuss. It also features MOST of the Bangles singing and playing their instruments. The massive success of this song may have been the beginning of the end of the Bangles, but it sure lives on in our hearts. Also, if anyone wants to put together a Ladies of the 80's festival, please float us some free tix. Ok, thanks.
Rank #6: Brave- Sara Bareilles Decomposition
Katie HATES Sara Bareilles. It is an irrational hatred that she struggles to explain. She feels sorry about that...and she feels GREAT when she can find even the most basic of justification. Meanwhile, friend and Baltimorian, Matt, doesn't even know the song...but that's fine because he also recognizes the shortcomings of this song. It's as if Bareillis determined that she knows whats best for her friend struggling to come out of the closet. But only so that she feels good about herself. We also spend an inordinate amount of time telling/ not telling when this episode was recorded...maybe this past weekend, maybe a month ago. Who knows, really?
There are a lot of tangeants and ridiculousness, which is par for the course when hanging out with Matt. You can tell the drinks were being had before, during and after the recording. We never learn Matt's middle name, and we certainly don't understand why Katie hates BAREILLEEESSSS so much.
Aside from that there's all the Katy Perry stuff that happens.
Rank #7: Decomposition: Summer Girls- LFO
There is so, so much going on in this week's episode. Pop rocks, Cherry Pez, Boogaloo Shrimp, Mister Limpet, B-ball style and...sawnetts...Were the douche-boys of LFO cut from the same cloth as Samuel Beckett? Probably not, but maybe. Also, dude's name is Rich. Strap in and enjoy the nonsense.
Rank #8: Ironic- Alanis Morissette Decomposition
"Ironic," was EVERYWHERE in 1996. You couldn't escape it. And it turned into Alanis Morissette's biggest hit to date. This song is challenging. Unless you're Alanis Morissette, she kinda just doesn't care. Nothing mentioned in this song is actually ironic, they just suck. But this week we take the time to slightly tweak the lyrics so that they become ironic. We also rank all of the happenings on a scale of 1- 10 based on how much they suck. Patrick tells us about the biggest fight that he has ever gotten into. Plus he spent many of his formative years lying about Nirvana and "Weird" Al.
Join us on an exploration of the most 90's song and video as we discuss the unironic story of Mr. Play-It -Safe, and why this song may actually be ironic afterall.
Rank #9: Decomposition: I Want You- Savage Garden
Chick-a-cherry-cola. Human cannonball. Deep sea diver with a raincoat. This song has plenty of nonsense lyrically, but don't worry, theres also plenty of bizarro noises. It's so, so wonderfully 90's. So join us as we decompose Savage Garden's 1996 breakthrough hit song "I Want You."
Rank #10: Decomposition: All I Want to Do is Make Love to You- Heart
Katie gets straight up uncomfortable. Is "walk through the garden," a worse phrase than "make love?" Were Ann & Nancy Wilson the J.P. Morgans of Sperm Banking? How many orgasms did she have with this anonymous partner? And, of course, is the narrator just ot of her GD mind? Happy Anniversary, Katie.
Rank #11: Tal Bachman- She's So High Decomposition
History, myth, religion, ancient aliens, and the perfect child-murder scenario. This episode really has it all! Starting our second year, we talk about the song that inspired us to do this podcast in the first place. It isn't the worst song, by any means, but it definitely has plenty of flaws. Also, Ian Starglow... whatever the hell that is.
Rank #12: The Humpty Dance- Digital Underground Decomposition
This is an amazing song. It seems goofy, but upon closer inspection you really get the sense of genius that goes into it. It promotes body-positivity, not being afraid to do your own thing, world peace, and humptiness forever.
There is so much happening in this episode. Every time we get to see Natty its a good time filled with laughs. Therefore, we couldn't really edit out a whole lot. So strap in and enjoy the silliness and we break down the greatest hip-hop song of all time "The Humpty Dance."
The Bumperpodcast: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/bumperpodcast/id330037859
The Dumbfellas Podcast: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dumbfellas/id1374036329?mt=2
Rank #13: Weezer; The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly part 1: The Good
It is our one-year anniversary. So we invited Decomposition favorites, Teresa and Josh, to help us kill our heroes, Weezer. We each have chosen a particular Weezer song and decompose what it is that makes Weezer a great band Be sure to stick around for the sing-along at the end...it's the happiest Teresa has ever been in her life.
Rank #14: I Was Jack (You Were Diane)- Jake Owen Decomposition
You all remember Donna Vee, comedian and country music fan. Well, we have found a country song that she does not care for. It's not your grandmothers meatloaf, as she puts it. It's a nostalgia double-down... a song reminiscing about a song about nostalgia, get it? Also, what is this trite, generic, Bo Burnham-esque nonsense? Blue jean halo? Does John Mellencamp even care about this song? Why is there a 10 minute long mini-movie? Also, what sort of deal-with-the-devil punishment is happening to Jake Owen now that he has to play this song for the remainder of his career. It sucks... a chili dog outside the Tastee Freeze
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Rank #15: Hungry Like the Wolf- Duran Duran Decomposition
We have all loved this song. We have all sung along to this song. We have all misunderstood the lyrics (aside from doo do doo do do do do...) Turns out, its quite misogynistic and VERY rapey. We will never mis-hear it the same way again. As you may have guessed, this episode is very giggly. It smells like it sounds.
Rank #16: Decomposition: Follow Me- Uncle Kracker
Does Uncle Kracker rank on the Top 20 shittiest people ever list? Is "Follow Me," worse than "Smile?" WTF is rap/rock/country? And, of course, we ask "Who's Your Uncle?" Join us for what is perhaps the height of douchebaggery as we hyper-analyze "Follow Me."
Rank #17: Bohemian Rhapsody- Queen Decomposition
Katie and Tim argue
Thats about it
Queen was great and Tim is wrong
Rank #18: No Diggity (feat. Dr. Dre & Queen Pen)- Blackstreet Decomposition
Teddy Riley is a legend in the R&B world. Credited with birthing New Jack Swing, as well as co-writing and producing a jillion hit songs. Little did we know how ahead of its time "No Diggity," was when it came out. It was respectful of women and very sex-positive. Don't worry, Katie gives us a point-by-point analysis of why. Blackstreet? More like WOKESTREET!! Puns, m'er f'ers, puns!
Why is Queen Pen a part of this song? Who are the original Rump Shakers?
Also, my apologies for the less-than-good audio quality this week. I tried my best, guys.
I tried my best.
Rank #19: How Bizarre- OMC Decomposition
Pauly Fuemana, the sometimes-ascot-wearing New Zealander/ Polynesian gang member, had a far more bizarre life than this song would have you believe. In fact, the story in the song is quite dull. They drive, they chat with a friendly cop, then maybe hit up a circus. And yet, it was all over the airwaves back in 1995/96/97. Enjoy the giggles in this one. Was it Pauly Fuemana's first day speaking English? Was Pele some type of religious figure? Why couldn't the circus afford more than one monkey? Should you buy the rights?
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Rank #20: I Did It- Dave Matthews Band Decomposition
What was it that Dave Matthews did? Anybody? This song was the beginning of the end of rock superstardom for the Dave Matthews Band. They hired a producer who they thought could sell albums. Unfortunately, it failed to feature most of the band and didn't produce the quality of music that people came to expect. Emily and Brad were both on the DMB train, whereas Katie never enjoyed it anyway. Lots of Dave Matthews impressions, giggling, and Emily laughing until she cries. Magic mushroom love bombs? The video makes zero sense...unless you're on mushrooms...which may or may not be what, in fact, Dave Matthews did. Plus a rap that senselessly repeats the word "love." Good news though, we teach everybody a fun new DMB-related game to play.