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Hand in Hand Parenting: The Podcast

Updated 5 days ago

Society & Culture
Government
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When children's behavior is difficult, parents need support, good information, and practical tools to reduce stress, understand their child's emotions, and build cooperation and warm connection in the family. Join Elle Kwan and Abigail Wald as they share the Hand in Hand Parenting approach with useful examples and stories from real parents like you.

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When children's behavior is difficult, parents need support, good information, and practical tools to reduce stress, understand their child's emotions, and build cooperation and warm connection in the family. Join Elle Kwan and Abigail Wald as they share the Hand in Hand Parenting approach with useful examples and stories from real parents like you.

iTunes Ratings

236 Ratings
Average Ratings
219
7
8
1
1

Incredible

By healthyfamilyfirst - Oct 13 2019
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I never miss an episode and this is the FIRST place I come when our family is needing support. These ladies are an amazing mix of therapist and parenting coach and philosopher and expert in child development. They speak so knowledgeably about all the issues parents and kids face and how to get through them with love and sanity and even enjoyment!!!

Great podcast!

By Porter802 - Aug 15 2019
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As a father of two young boys and two year apart. This is a very helpful tool for me. Thanks!

iTunes Ratings

236 Ratings
Average Ratings
219
7
8
1
1

Incredible

By healthyfamilyfirst - Oct 13 2019
Read more
I never miss an episode and this is the FIRST place I come when our family is needing support. These ladies are an amazing mix of therapist and parenting coach and philosopher and expert in child development. They speak so knowledgeably about all the issues parents and kids face and how to get through them with love and sanity and even enjoyment!!!

Great podcast!

By Porter802 - Aug 15 2019
Read more
As a father of two young boys and two year apart. This is a very helpful tool for me. Thanks!

The Best Episodes of:

Cover image of Hand in Hand Parenting: The Podcast

Hand in Hand Parenting: The Podcast

Updated 5 days ago

Read more

When children's behavior is difficult, parents need support, good information, and practical tools to reduce stress, understand their child's emotions, and build cooperation and warm connection in the family. Join Elle Kwan and Abigail Wald as they share the Hand in Hand Parenting approach with useful examples and stories from real parents like you.

Rank #1: Parenting a Strong-Willed Child

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You may have heard about how your tenacious, persistent, negotiating go-getter is developing the skills he or she needs to be a great leader in the future, but daily parenting a strong-willed child can feel like an uphill battle. All those constant requests, desires, energy and power play is a lot!

This week Abigail and Elle weigh in on why parenting a strong-willed child can feel so demanding and draining, and how you can raise your strong-willed child without so many power struggles - or the need to "break them."

On this week's podcast, Parenting the Strong-Willed child:

  • How an agenda won't help when you raise a strong-willed child
  • How to harness your child's enthusiasm, desire and power
  • Why these kids can also be super sensitive
  • Learn how to dance between limits and freedom
  • What to do if you disapprove of your child's nature and how to develop a mindset that helps improve things

Listen to Parenting The Strong-Willed Child now.

You might also like:

Setting limits with a strong-willed child can feel really hard - yet they do really need those limits. This article shows how you can hold a limit with a child without breaking them - and comes with a free checklist.

If parenting feels too hard you might find yourself yelling. Here's 15 ways you can stop shouting at your kids

For daily support from instructors, plus regular Q&A call-ins with them and our founder Patty Wipfler, try the Parent Club free for 30 days.

stay connected

We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at podcast@handinhandparenting.org

Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our Newsletter

Mar 05 2019

25mins

Play

Rank #2: My Child is Hitting: Parenting The Problem, Not the Punch

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What should I do when my child hits? 

It's one of the most common questions we get at Hand in Hand Parenting, and it's the content of this week's podcast. And no wonder. Hitting can feel dangerous. Offensive. Confusing.

But if hitting is so common, why are we all still wondering what to do about it?

There's so much differing advice!

What Are Children Really Saying When They Hit?

Abigail talks about all the quick-tip strategies out there and why they might work at first but why so often they fail in the long-term.

We look at what children might be communicating through hitting, whether it's a (somewhat misguided) attempt at play or as an expression as deep-rooted fear, and Elle admits completely misreading some of her child's hitting behaviors. 

Understanding Hitting and other Defiant Behavior

And although we don't encourage hitting, we talk about why parenting the punch itself doesn't actually ease the problem but instead pushes the feelings causing a child to hit to one side. They may disappear for now, but they (and the hitting) will soon be back again. 

So, we talk about what parenting the problem and not the punch actually means:

  • Get wise to why your child hits and how to respond accordingly
  • How to keep protected and still lean into the hitting
  • How hitting can offer room for growth and connection as you partner with your child and move past hitting

Listen to Hitting: Parent the Problem, Not The Punch and learn to set limits around hitting and respond in the way your child really needs you to. Because if you truly want to solve your child's hitting, you have to do the least obvious thing first - accept it. 

More Resources For Parenting When Your Child Hits

Elle mentioned the post When Your Toddler Hits You in this episode. Read it to discover more about this new perspective around hitting.

We did a podcast with play expert Lawrence Cohen on aggressive play, how to manage it so that it helps reduce a child's aggressive behaviors. Listen to it here.

Learn how to lean into the first stages of aggression with a vigorous snuggle.

You might also like this article on partnering with your child which is what we are really talking about in this podcast,

keep connected

We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at podcast@handinhandparenting.org

Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our Newsletter

Register for Abigail's 30-day re-set here and learn more about Hand in Hand's monthly membership

Dec 12 2018

24mins

Play

Rank #3: Listen up, Kids! Getting Children to Listen

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Elle and Abigail are talking about ways you can get children to listen and respond to your requests, without resorting to yelling or punishments.

Elle shares a story that happened that morning about her son refusing to come to the breakfast table and how they worked their way through the hurdle before he missed the school bus. Elle has an enlightening moment about her childhood breakfasts and how they might impact how she handles breakfast refusals. Meanwhile, Abigail recalls the time her son, as a 9th-month-old, gave a low growl that meant HE WAS NOT GOING TO EAT THE SPINACH PUREE, and reveals a more hopeful story.

Practical Tips and Tools for Getting A Child to Listen

They talk about why so often parental requests seem to go unheard, and what parents can do to avoid resorting to shouting, bribing or coercing action.

  • Why “shoulds” make requests to hard to give, hard to hear, and annoying when they are ignored
  • How tracing your triggers helps you decide which battles to fight going forward
  • How to blend your parental wisdom with your child’s innate desire to do things
  • Ways to connect so that more of your requests get heard

Listen as Abigail and Elle share parenting tools that can be applied to almost any situation, from setting screen time limits to getting out the door on time.

Free gifts, links and mentions…

The giveaway that Elle mentions about Listening Partnerships is wonderful and can be found here.

She also mentions the post What If Parenting Is an Emotional Practice?

We’d love to hear about the issues affecting you and your family. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message

You can contact Abigail Wald about parenting courses and consultations at realtimeparenting.com

Sign up for our Monthly Newsletter 

You can listen to this episode and every episode on iTunes. Don’t forget to subscribe!

Nov 14 2017

30mins

Play

Rank #4: Happier Parenting: Why Owning Your Parenting is Key

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Have you ever woken up in the morning and vowed to yourself that you are going to make it A GREAT DAY? And then, 10 minutes later, your kids are bickering over who got the best bowl, homework is missing, and you can't find your purse?

And it's like, seriously?!! What happened?

And it continues like that, on a downward spiral, all through the day.

Worrying about getting to school on time, sniping at your children who are sniping at each other, bribing a kid to take a class, threatening a kid to EAT SOMETHING, yelling at a kid to get IN THE SHOWER.

Forget happier, peaceful, supportive parenting! At this point, you don't much like your kids. You don't like the way you handled things so you don't even like yourself. There doesn't feel much to be happy about!

And then you get into bed and wonder - how am I going to face all that again tomorrow?

The Key to Happier Parenting Is This...

But what if you could change that? What if you could go to bed content in being the parent you are, confident in the decisions you made.

Happier, because you own your parenting?

That's what we're talking about on the podcast today. Owning your parenting means making decisions based on your own family's needs, and feeling empowered not powerless when moments get sticky.

Owning your parenting means, ultimately, being a happier parent and in this episode, Elle and Abigail talk about how to get to that point.

We find out:

  • How false expectations can wreck our parenting experience
  • How to love the kids you have not the kid you wanted
  • How to feel happier about yourself as a parent even when things don't go as planned
  • Getting past the "I shoulds," "I coulds," and "I bet other people are..." comparison parenting

Parenting is tough, but when we can own parenting, we can remain strong, sure and secure when our kids put us through our paces.

And when we own our parenting, we can love them fiercely, no matter what.

What could be happier than that?

More resources on Happier Parenting

Hand in Hand Parenting isn't a one size fits all approach. Instead, the five tools can be used and adapted for all of your parenting challenges as you need them. Read more about them here in Learn Five Tools That Will Transform The Way You Parent In One Week

The book Listen: Five Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges is available now in paperbackebook or audio and lists hundreds of ways real-life parents use the tools.

Listen to a section of the audiobook here

Read What if Parenting Is an Emotional Practice?

keep connected

We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. 

Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message about challenges you might be facing in your parenting.

Sign up for our Monthly Newsletter 

Wish parenting was less stressful?

Join Hand in Hand’s Parent Club for support and community.

Aug 28 2018

25mins

Play

Rank #5: How to Keep Calm When Your Kids Make You Crazy Angry

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Aggression, anger, yelling... Abigail and Elle talk about the times when parenting their kids made them crazy angry - and there are lots!

They go back to the very start of early years parenting and what set them off, right through to the cocktail of feelings that has emerged parenting tweens.

And they ask, what happens when you find yourself afraid of your feelings of rage, becoming the parent you never wanted to be?

How Can You Keep Calm When Your Kids Make You Crazy Angry

On the podcast this week, the two moms talk about the strategies they used to find calm and repair when anger set in.

  • Tapping out
  • Walking away
  • Unwiring destructive thoughts
  • Marking our boundaries as parents
  • Deeper work: Where and how to get support with others
  • The power of using "battery out," "mommy puddles," and "safe words" when we are angry with children.

If you'd like to take down your yelling, feel less angry and more connected to your kids, join us and listen.

Support for Keeping Calm When Parenting Makes You Feel Angry

Discover how Hand in Hand Parenting's Listening Partnerships can help you calm your parent anger and find out how you can work one-on-one with a Hand in Hand Instructor

Grab the last spot in Abigail's 30-Day Family Reset! 

Get more tips: Taming Parent Tantrums: 8 Keys to Quieting the Storm

Join the Hand in Hand Community

We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message

Sign up for our Monthly Newsletter 

Mar 20 2018

29mins

Play

Rank #6: Children's Aggressive Behavior Comes Down to this One Thing

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Hitting? Pinching? Kicking?

Most children act aggressively but it can be very tough to see and understand.

When a child is aggressive our instinct is often to shut it down - "Don’t hit," we say, or "I don’t want to hear those things."

Looking at A Child's Aggressive Behavior in a New Way

While we can and should set limits about the behavior, what happens if we can listen to what that behavior is telling us?

In this episode, Abigail tells about a time her son genuinely scared her with his aggression and how they worked through it. She discovered a root cause actually stemming from his reputation as a “good guy.”

And Elle talks about the differences in her two children’s aggression - and her own - as well as how difficult it can be coping with regular aggressive episodes.

We talk about the one emotion that results in aggression, and how you can respond in a way that supports your child's development.

If you are seeing aggression in your house, and want to understand what drives it, this episode is for you. Aggression is tough to see, harder to talk about, and is one part of parenting that deserves the biggest support.

parents resources

Packed with resources for supporting yourself and your child through aggressive behavior: Get your Guide for Helping Your Child with Aggressive Behavior

This is the self-guided course Elle mentioned that will help you understand the root causes of aggression. Take Helping Your Child with Aggression and get solutions to  support aggressive behavior in your house.

Get information about Abigail's webinar on Tech and Tweens and sign up!

keep connected

We’d love to hear about the issues affecting you and your family. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message

You can contact Abigail Wald about parenting courses and consultations at realtimeparenting.com

Sign up for Hand in Hand Parenting's Monthly Newsletter for more tools, tips and support

Mar 06 2018

26mins

Play

Rank #7: Sibling Rivalry: Abigail and Elle Talk Soothing Sibling Battles with Evie Granville

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This week we're replaying a wonderful podcast we recorded on sibling rivalry with Evie Granville of Modern Manners for Moms and Dads.

Join us as we decode what's driving the behaviors between Evie's two children, and share with here how to approach Sibling Rivalry from a Hand in Hand approach.

On this special guest podcast, you'll learn:
  • What to do when your kids won’t share
  • How to handle aggressive behaviors
  • And ways to prevent sibling rivalry before it even starts

Listen in to lots of anecdotes and real-life situations about brothers and sisters, battles and squabbles, love and connection in this episode!

More Resources for Easing Sibling Rivalry

This bumper guide to sibling rivalry has many solutions to help ease battles between siblings: A Hand in Hand Guide to Sibling Rivalry and if you want to add in a little humour, try these 15 Playful Ways to Solve Sibling Rivalry

And here is the link to our podcast on Brain Science that Abigail talks about.

Go to http://www.evieandsarah.com/ to listen to more of Evie's podcasts. 

Jul 30 2018

46mins

Play

Rank #8: How to Handle Your Child's Negative Words

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You probably never imagined words like these erupting from your child’s mouth. 

Dark.

Venomous. 

Hurtful words. 

But here they are. 

“I hate you!”

Or worse. “I hate myself.”

“I want to die.”

Words that make us want to curl up and cry. Admit defeat. Give up parenting altogether. Except, of course, we can’t. 

Even piling on hugs and love often doesn’t appear to soothe a child hurling those words (and thoughts) in those moments. 

So what’s an emotionally-drained parent to do?

This week on the podcast, we’re talking about the times our kid's words get hurtful, whether they’re aimed at us or themselves.

  • Where these words come from
  • When to take notice, when to take action
  • Ways you can respond that shift those thoughts and feelings
  • When play works better than words

When kids say stuff like this, it’s hard. It’s worse when it feels like yours are the only ones saying them. They aren’t. Join us this week for support and suggestions for how to move on when your kid's words get hurtful. 

More resources for when kids words get negative:

For more about how kids acquire harsh language, read this article

You can listen to negative language as you would a child cry when you staylisten. Here's the science behind the tool and how it works.

What is Hand in Hand Parenting? All you need to know about the listening tools.

Become Mother-Flipping-Awesome!

Join Abigail’s rocking new community and be mother-flipping-awesome. Go here to get registered now.

Stay connected

We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at podcast@handinhandparenting.org

Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our newsletter

Sep 05 2019

34mins

Play

Rank #9: Raising Boys and Girls Differently According to Brain Science

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Today Elle and Abigail are talking to New York Times bestselling author, neuro-biologist and family counselor Michael Gurian. We're talking boys, girls and their differences, and raising boys and girls so each thrives.

All over the world boys in schools are failing and girls are succeeding, why?

Why Boys Need Special Attention

On the podcast today, Michael sheds some light.

Known as "the people's philosopher," he breaks down the fascinating differences in how boys and girls brains process information, and what boys need more of in class.

Michael addresses the commonly distorted gender paradigms that we as a society have come to believe about what boys and girls need and shares practical strategies to set girls up to do better in STEM subjects and boys to excel in reading, writing and speaking.

We also take a look at how Michael's work with The Gurian Institue dovetails into Hand in Hand Parenting through playlistening, roughhousing and Staylistening.

On today's episode:
  • The four elements of difference between males and females
  • How boys and girls process information differently and why schools need to teach according to these brain differences to help both sexes
  • Why schools need to move away from verbal-centered teaching towards styles that activate the brain's visual and spatial-kinesthetic centers
  • Mother's raising boys: What male emotional intelligence looks like

Join us for a fascinating talk into raising our boys and girls to thrive.

More Tools and Support for Raising Our Children According to Science

You can read more about Michael and his work at www.michaelgurian.com and The Gurian Institute.

The two books mentioned in this podcast are Saving Our Sons: A New Path for Raising Healthy and Resilient Boys and The Minds of Girls: A New Path for Raising Healthy, Resilient, and Successful Women

You might also like to read the science behind the Hand in Hand Tool of Staylistening and if you'd like to find out about all of our five tools you can read our book Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges or take the Hand in Hand Starter Class online or in-person with an instructor over 6 weeks.

keep connected

We’d love to hear about the issues affecting you and your family. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message

You can contact Abigail Wald about parenting courses and consultations at realtimeparenting.com

Sign up for our Monthly Newsletter 

May 15 2018

47mins

Play

Rank #10: 5 Myths About Kids and Sleep Debunked

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Sleep. It's up there with eating and tantrums as a stress-causing subject for parents. And isn't there just so many ideas, action plans and tools for change online or offered by well-meaning grandparents, caregivers, friends? We bet you could even ask your pizza delivery guy and he'd even share his opinion about how parents should go about getting their kids to sleep.

Wow! That's a lot of pressure to Get. Things. Right. And a lot of room to feel like you've gotten everything wrong. To really feel like a failure.

And if there's one thing we do know it's that pressure and fear of failure does not make for peaceful parenting or a happy bedtime.

And you shouldn't have to feel like that anyways.

Why We Wanted to Share Five Myths About Kids and Sleep

So - we wanted to take a minute this week to share five sleep myths that seem to do the rounds at parent clubs and playdates - and seem to really rattle parents. Once these five myths are debunked, we can get back to our families and developing a plan that really works. Call it your own, bespoke, family sleep plan.

Listen in to hear five myths about kids and sleep - and why they need debunking right now.

And please let us know if you have any other myths - about sleep or other parenting challenges - that need debunking!

More Resources for solving kids sleep issues

Does your child fight sleep? This post suggests one question you can ask to help a child sleep better

Fear often sits at the heart of why a child can't sleep. For ways to support your child to sleep confidence, read these Gentle Ways To Get a Child To Sleep

Find out what stops kids sleeping, how to set limits around sleep and how to build your child’s sleep confidence. Learn more about Hand in Hand Parenting’s Helping Your Children Sleep, online class

keep connected

We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at podcast@handinhandparenting.org

Get updates on everything Hand in Hand! Sign up for our newsletter and get a free copy of our Tantrums and Indignation eBook

Oct 29 2018

23mins

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Rank #11: Your Blueprint for Building Better Habits and Good Behavior

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So, you want your kids to walk in the door, hang their jacket, unpack their bags, eat quickly and get back out the door, freshly changed, for practice.

But right now you are at, well, walk in the door.

BOOM! Cue screaming, crying, defiance and running in the exact opposite direction that you'd like.

So how do you get from where you are now, to where you want to be with your kids?

This week's podcast was inspired by a mom that worked with Abigail and feels like she can't get her child to do ANYTHING.

Elle sympathizes, explaining that there has been a serious lack of 'tidy up practice' at home that can, at times, have her pulling her hair out.

Your Blueprint for Building Better Habits and Good Behavior

Together we talk about why things might be hard, and the steps we can take to encourage good behavior and better habits in our kids - without losing it.

It can be really difficult to meet your child where they are, but these moments of struggle to master new habits can offer great opportunities to connect with your child at a deep level and bring about profound shifts.

Why Building Better Habits Is An Opportunity to Deepen the Relationship Discover key ideas that you can start doing right now to encourage better habits and behavior - and why you shouldn't expect too much too soon.

Listen to Your Blueprint for Better Habits and Good Behavior, and please let us know how you like these ideas.

 

More Resources for Encouraging Good Behavior and Better Habits

Learn what it means to partner with your child: In this week's podcast, we talk a lot about meeting your child where they are before moving on. You can read more about this in this post Partnering with Your Child To Solve Their Issues and read one mom's story of how this worked for her.

Work with Abigail Wald: Abigail can show you how to meet your child where they are, and respond in a way that builds connection and closeness in her 30-Day Reset. Sign up to join before her new reset fills.

keep connected

We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at podcast@handinhandparenting.org

Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our Newsletter

The Parent Club is our monthly membership where we really put the Hand in Hand Tools to work with our families. Click here to learn more and get the support you need and deserve.

Dec 04 2018

23mins

Play

Rank #12: The Most Important Question To Ask When Your Child's Behavior Gets Hard

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Did you ever think you got this parenting thing figured out only to find your child brings home some new parenting challenge?

  • Maybe they start shouting potty words at you, seemingly from nowhere?
  • Maybe they start throwing punches when normally they'd been fairly calm?
  • Or maybe things simple things that you ask them do suddenly brings on meltdowns, where before they'd do it without a struggle?

Where did the child you thought you knew so well go to?

In the quest to find solutions to this sudden new and disagreeable behavior, you head to friends to compare notes, you hit Google for answers, or you even seek the services of a professional.

After all, you want those words to stop, that aggression to fade, that resistance to disappear.

But what if you started with "Why?"

Why is your child so fascinated with hurtful words right now? Why does he or she have so much tension the only thing that angry words or angry actions seem to have become a default reaction? Why is having to hang a schoolbag so difficult now when just a few months ago it was a no-brainer?

Why?

This week Abigail and Elle respond to a mom who found surprising answers when she stopped asking her four-year-old to quit yelling and instead asked herself why the yelling was happening at all.

We highlight the gorgeous ways this mom used the Hand in Hand Parenting tools to delve deeper, and the beautiful way her daughter opened up and let her mom support her through what turned out to be some very difficult moments in her school life.

Listen to "Why?" is Your Most Important Question When Kids' Behavior Gets Hard and learn how to ask why effectively when you want to bring change.

For daily support from instructors, plus regular Q&A call-ins with them and our founder Patty Wipfler, try the Parent Club free for 30 days.

stay connected

We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at podcast@handinhandparenting.org

Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our Newsletter

Feb 26 2019

17mins

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Rank #13: How Much is Too Much? Tools to Help Children that Need Constant Attention

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How much attention does your child need?

Have you ever heard the phrase "You can't pour from an empty cup?" When we spend time with our children, do Special Time, listen and care for them, we naturally fill their cups with warmth and love. When a child has a full cup of your warmth and attention, they are less clingy. They are connected and confident.

Attention-seeking kids have "Leaky Cups"

Except for a child with a "leaky cup". These are the children that, no matter how much time, how much love and how much attention you seem to pour in STILL NEED MORE. Their cups are always leaky!

They want more of your love. More of your attention. Or else you'll know about it!

They need everything to go their way. They become rigid and controlling when it doesn't. They will whine, they will cry, they will throw themselves down on the floor in tears. They may become aggressive.

Pretty soon, life can become a riddle of trying to divide time between all you need to do, and all they need to feel good.

Exhausting? Yes.

Everlasting? No!

Tools for a Child Who Needs Lots of Attention

There are things you can do to love these kids just the way they need it, to teach them how to fill their own cups, and for you to have enough energy for your other kids, family members, and even, yourself.

If you have ever wondered:

  • How much attention is too much attention?
  • How to help my child become more confident and resilient
  • How to balance out my time and emotions in parenting
  • or just screamed (silently or otherwise) "I can't give anymore!"

Join Abigail and Elle this week for some lively banter and good solutions for attention-seeking, leaky cup kids and their families.

 

More Tools for Attention-Needing Children (and stressed-out parents!)

Read more about kids and attention-seeking behaviors in When Your Kids Will Do Anything to Get Attention

You can find out more about the Listening Partnerships that Elle and Abigail mention here Building a Listening Partnership: Easing the Stress of Parenting

Keep Connected

We’d love to hear about the issues affecting you and your family. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message. If you are familiar with Hand in Hand Parenting and your children are 10 or  under join our Hand in Hand Parents Support Group on Facebook for daily support

You can contact Abigail Wald about parenting courses and consultations at realtimeparenting.com

Sign up for our Monthly Newsletter 

May 29 2018

32mins

Play

Rank #14: Reframing Your Past Could Be The Key To More Confident and Content Parenting

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Psychologist and parenting expert Ross Greene coined quite the term when he said that "Kids do well when they can," but isn't exactly the same true of parents?

Reframing your past could be the key to getting there, and becoming a more confident, calm and content parent. 

Why?

It's highly unlikely that any of us here set out to be terrible parents, so why do we often end up feeling that way?

This week, Abigail and Elle are looking at trauma and the ways that past traumatic experiences can reverberate in our parenting. Elle asks what exactly trauma is, and we look into identifying trauma and its after-effects.

Past trauma can stall us in our belief and ability to parent consciously, but reframing these experiences can help us heal well and move on. Abigail shares a deeply moving account of her pregnancy trauma and how reframing her devastation transformed it into something positive and warm. Much of this came down to the tools she used after discovering Hand in Hand Parenting. 

Listen this week and find out how the Hand in Hand tools can help you retell your trauma story, heal and move on.

Listen to Reframing Your Past Could Be The Key To More Content Parenting.

More Resources on How Hand in Hand can Help Parents and Children Recover from Trauma

This article on Re-writing Your Trauma Story is the one Abigail refers to in the podcast and shares the steps she used to retell her story. We hope that this is useful for you too.

You'll find more ideas about the brain's ability to heal thanks to neuroplasticity and more ideas about using the tools to move on from toxic stress 

And in Can Hand in Hand Heal Complex Trauma you can read how the tools help children through traumatic experiences

Watch Ross Greene talking about how kids do well when they can in this video

We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at podcast@handinhandparenting.org

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Nov 06 2018

37mins

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Rank #15: How To Get A Defiant Child Moving When You Have to Be Somewhere

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You just dropped one child at his playdate. Now you have 15 minutes to scoot across to the pool for your younger kid's swim lesson. Easy, right? Actually no. Your child is refusing to scoot. He doesn't want to put on his swim clothes. He won't go to the pool. "I HATE swim class," he yells defiantly. Why Reasoning Won't Work Oh, and when you tried reasoning? He kicked his scooter across the car park and laid flat on the tarmac. He isn't going anywhere. How Do You Set Limits WIth A Defiant Child? If you are using the Hand in Hand Tools you know that a child's defiance shows they are having a hard time. You also know that one of the best ways to work through this is by letting your defiant child work through their anger and frustration. Staylistening through their upset works great—when you have time. But What Happens When You Don't Have Time? Right now the clock ticking in your head sounds like a bomb waiting to explode. Your indecision on how to move forward mounts with every second that passes. You notice passersby eyeing up your situation, and you're ready to blow. Do you: A: Sit and listen to your child's outburst, and watch the clock tick past the start of the swim lesson. B: Pack your defiant child under one arm and the scooter under another and march over to the pool. C: Announce that class is off and suggest getting an ice-cream instead. You'll tackle this some other time. Surprise! None of these are right. And none of them are wrong! Today on the podcast we share ideas and tools that will help you decide how to respond when your child gets defiant and simply says "No." Listen in for: - Surefire strategies to prevent these stands-offs from happening in the first place - Why every limit you give your child is actually multiple limits bound together as one and how to unravel them - How to get clear on limits you want to hold and those you can let slip away - What to do when you absolutely, really, definitely need your child do something and they are defiant in saying no STAY CONNECTED We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges.;Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at podcast@handinhandparenting.org

Jul 23 2019

28mins

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Rank #16: Yes! You Can Playlisten When your Child is Upset

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Your child grabs the one extra cookie you said he wasn’t allowed…

What do you do?

Or your daughter whines the minute she sees you pull out peanut butter for her toast...

Or, when your son hears that his sister is having a sleepover he yells that you’re a mean mom...and that you have wrinkles!

Yes he did.

To Play or Not to Play...That is the Question

Would you, could you playfully parent in these situations, or would you Staylisten to your child’s upset?

A lot of parents ask us when to play and when to stay and we answer in the podcast this week:

When to play and when to stay...

When can you play and then stay…

And why would you stay then play…

Ok, we’ll stop with the rhyming now and get down to business.

Listen to Yes! You can Playlisten when your child is upset. We’re talking:
  • Discover the signals children use to tell you play is ok today or that it’s better to stay...
  • Playful parenting ideas you can use when storm clouds are just brewing
  • How to move from Staylistening into play
  • How to decide if you are Staylistening too much when you could be playing instead
  • And why play isn’t a substitute for Staylistening and why we can’t replace tears with laughter
Become Mother-Flipping-Awesome!

Join Abigail’s rocking new community and be mother-flipping-awesome. Go here to get registered now.

Stay connected

We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at podcast@handinhandparenting.org

Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our newsletter

Jul 17 2019

19mins

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Rank #17: Meet Your Hosts, Elle Kwan and Abigail Wald

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Hear how parenting started out for Elle (in Hong Kong) and Abigail (in LA) and why they want to share Hand in Hand Parenting with you.

Nov 06 2017

7mins

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Rank #18: Why Does my Child Only Listen When I Lose It?

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This week Abigail and Elle respond to a mom who feels like she sees power struggles, aggression and kickback when she's parenting the way she wants to, and compliance only once she gets mad.

Are her efforts to parent kindly back-firing? And why would that be?

On the podcast this week we talk about:

  • What to expect when parenting with respect
  • Setting boundaries on your own levels of calm
  • Comparison parenting and why no way is the perfect way
  • What power struggles actually mean, and working on embracing them as a win not a loss.

Join us if you've ever felt like your efforts at being an empathetic parent are lost on your child and learn why that definitely is not what is happening!

More Resources on Mean Words and Mean Moms

This article on how kids acquire bad words and re-use them is very insightful. Read Bad Words from Good Kids.

"Mean mom," comments can be very triggering. Here's how instructor Irina handles it step-by-step. My Child Calls Me Mean Mom. What Should I Do?

Stay connected

We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at podcast@handinhandparenting.org

Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our newsletter

Apr 12 2019

17mins

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Rank #19: Ep 47 Working with a Child's Rigid Behaviors

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This week we define how deep-rooted fears cause emotional projects, and how parents experience them as well as children.

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Sep 25 2018

28mins

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Rank #20: Beat Off-Track Behavior with this Secret Ninja Parenting Tool

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This week on the podcast Abigail introduces a counter-intuitive ninja parenting tool!

We talk about how offtrack behavior looks early on, what it signals, and why this tool responds where reasoning doesn't.

Both hosts talk about the times they've used this tool with successful outcomes, even though it feels completely counter-intuitive at first.

Please drop by and listen in if you:
  • Have a hard time curbing your child's whining or unwanted behavior
  • Are bored of yelling, bribing and offering consequences that don't work
  • Would like a tool that works even when your child gets aggressive

If you are struggling to handle a child's aggressive behavior, this video series will help - with plenty of wisdom and practical, accessible tools to learn why it happens and what you can do. Get Video Tips To Help Stop Your Child's Aggressive Behavior

Get in Touch!

We’d love to hear about the issues affecting you and your family. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Elle and Abigail would love.

You can contact Abigail Wald about parenting courses and consultations at realtimeparenting.com

Sign up for our Monthly Newsletter 

Dec 12 2017

20mins

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