Rank #1: #96: LOVE YOURSELF
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
-1 Corinthians 13:13
In this episode:
A special announcement about Ellie’s arrival that I promise you’re going to want to hear!
50 ways to love yourself
How #loveisyours with Lindsey Richardson
As most of you know, I am now 38 weeks pregnant. My little Eleanor Lucia Synan, or Ellie as we will be calling her, will be arriving any day now. To celebrate, I am extending a (literally) once-in-a-lifetime website-wide sale to celebrate the date of her birth!
Full disclosure, the next few weeks of Confidence on the Go are pre-recorded – I have been busting my buns to be ready for Ellie as a first time mom and I wanted to make sure that no one in the Be More Community missed a beat from me being in the hospital or from the inevitable sleepless nights I have ahead of me. That being said, I have an AWESOME CELEBRATION OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU. But to partake in it you MUST follow my social media platforms in order to know what’s going on. Here are the details:
You will get a site-wide discount on EVERYTHING – that is the Breakout program, coaching sessions, my CD sets – based off of Ellie’s date of birth. So, if she is born on 2.15, you will receive a 30% discount (2x15). If she’s born on 2.20, you’ll get 40% (2x20).
The site-wide sale lasts 72 hours – and you need the discount code that will be posted on my social media sites to be able to participate.
The social media sites the promotion and announcement will be posted are:
@trainerTRISH on Twitter
@growthwithgod on Instagram
@trainthetemple on Instagram
@gardeningthemind on Instagram
50 WAYS TO LOVE YOURSELF
Stop comparing yourself to others.
Build in more “white” space.
Invest in yourself.
Spend time alone without an agenda or to-do list.
Take a bath.
Let go of the past.
Eat a good breakfast.
Treat yourself to something you want but don’t need.
Take control of your finances.
Laugh at yourself.
Speak kind words of encouragement to yourself.
Get outside and drink in a sunset.
Let go of trying to please everyone.
Spray aromatherapy on your linens before turning in for sleep.
Refuse to use the label “perfectionist” for yourself anymore.
Don’t take yourself too seriously.
Pray and meditate more often.
Listen to your feelings and acknowledge them compassionately.
Choose to put yourself around loving, uplifting people.
Find work that you love.
Indulge in hobbies that make your heart sing.
Make a list of reasons why you are loveable.
Stretch every morning.
Stop trying to fit in and instead just be you.
Put lotion on your body before you go to bed at night.
Turn off your phone and social media for an afternoon.
Ask for help when you need it.
Get a pedicure.
Have a day of arts and crafts – indulge your creative side.
Go out to lunch with a friend you don’t get to see often.
Dance in your kitchen with a glass of wine.
Change the song / sound of your alarm clock to something you enjoy hearing.
Throw away your scale.
Do something every day that scares you.
Stop worrying about other people’s opinions.
Be more every day of who you want to be.
Write in a gratitude journal every day.
Make sure you have a BHAG – a big, hairy, audacious goal
Believe in yourself.
Go to a comedy club or watch a funny movie
Follow through on what you say you are going to do.
Get a massage.
Share your dreams with others.
Take a walk
Spend five minutes with your eyes closed and just focus on deep breathing
Plan a trip
Celebrate your small successes
Rank #2: #187: HOW TO STOP CARING WHAT PEOPLE THINK
Rank #3: #86: ANXIETY BE GONE
“Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.”
In this episode we’re going to talk about:
My own personal battle with anxiety and how I overcame it / manage it on a daily basis
Talk about solutions to minimize the presence of anxiety in your life
8 ways you can manage your stress and anxiety, starting today
WEBINAR REPLAY OPPORTUNITY:
A webinar on maximizing your own confidence, self-esteem and positive body image so that you can ultimately pass on that confidence to those whom you influence.
In the webinar replay you'll learn the:
THE "CONFIDENCE HIERARCHY OF NEEDS"
5 ESSENTIAL AREAS YOU MUST INVEST IN CONCERNING YOUR PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT SO THAT YOU CAN BE A POSITIVE EXAMPLE TO THOSE AROUND YOU.
10 SELF-EMPOWERMENT ACTIVITIES FOR YOU AND FOR YOU TO SHARE WITH OTHERS
Make your holiday gift to me a “thank you” if this show in any way has positively impacted your day, your week or your life in the past, and write a review in iTunes. Also, make sure you subscribe so that you don’t miss an episode.
ANXIETY BE GONE:
EFFECTS OF STRESS & ANXIETY
Stress affects the body significantly for anyone of any fitness level. Heightened stress levels increase the hormone coritsol, which ultimately renders someone with feelings of lethargy as well as an increased inclination to store fat, particularly in the core / abdominal part of the body. Additionally, stress inhibits one's ability to actively engage fully in exercise and activity; stress, when not managed well, can disrupt one's mental health and derail them from their goals, regular activities and basic coming and goings.
Stress management is one of the most important foundations of optimal mental and physical well-being. It is essential for anyone wanting to attain their optimal fitness level as well as for those who want to maximize the possibility of their potential in all areas of life.
EIGHT WAYS TO MANAGE YOUR STRESS / ANXIETY:
Everyone manages stress differently, and some strategies will work better for some than others, but whatever it takes, it is imperative that you experiment and discover which stress management tactics works best for you. Below are a few suggestions of ways to manage stress that many people find helpful:
Create a consistent morning routine for your 15 minutes of the day that set you up for a successful day mentally and physically.
Build in more "white space" into your daily scheduling, allowing for cushion time between commitments and resisting the urge to overbook and overcommit yourself
Learn how to say "no" more often to the things in life that stress you out and "yes" to activities that promote personal growth and quality time with those you love.
Exercise on a daily basis
When feeling particularly stressed, go outside and take a walk or a jog. Fresh air and a change of environment can often alleviate stress.
Employ the use of a to-do list everyday to keep yourself on task and from feeling overwhelmed from the stress of having too much to do
Celebrate the small victories of life. If you are on a weight loss journey, celebrate every small step that is positively working towards your ultimate goal instead of focusing on the big number that you want to lose.
Meditate, pray or write in gratitude journal on a daily basis.
ONE BONUS WAY – A NINTH WAY
This is the way I manage mine – through the tools and teaching I share in my Insecurity Detox program. Don’t let the stress of December and the holiday season get the best of you – give yourself 10 minutes a day for the next seven days and commit to this total detox.
The Insecurity Detox is a revolutionary jump-start program designed to dramatically detoxify your negative thinking patterns, help you break free from perfectionism,
Rank #4: #174: CONFIDENCE HABITS
Rank #5: #262: 5 SIMPLE WAYS TO STOP CARING WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK
Rank #6: #335: WHY PERFECTIONISM PREVENTS YOU FROM BEING CONFIDENT
In this episode of The Confidence Podcast we're chatting about:
What is perfectionism and do you struggle with it?
How to stop being a perfectionist
The toxic relationship between perfectionism and low-confidence
How to go into recovery with perfectionism so it doesn't hold you back any longer.
REVIEW OF THE WEEK:
LeHumanite, "Thanks." 5-Stars.
This is my little contribution to your 1000 reviews goal. Thanks for all the work you put into sharing your thoughts with us. Whenever I'm feeling down or in doubt of myself this podcast comes to the rescue, helping me to find peace and joy. I'm not religious, but even those episodes which are lighten my heart.
I just revamped the How to Have Confidence Masterclass and made it even better than it was originally.
Yeah, I agree!
Here's what's different:
It's short and sweet. (30-minutes!)
It shows you how to get your next breakthrough. (Um, amen, right?!)
It's is free of any sound/tech issues. (Hallelujah!)
And since I know you're all about your personal growth and your next breakthrough right now, you gotta jump into this!
Grab a spot, we have a session with some seats still open today! Go to www.trishblackwell.com/webinar and register. I'll send you a free workbook to go along wiht the masterclass, so check your email as soon as you register ... this is a POWER-PACKED PUNCH to your confidence.
I'm convinced that this is the start of your next breakthrough.
WHAT IS PERFECTIONISM AND DO YOU STRUGGLE WITH IT?
What is Perfectionism?
A refusal to accept any standard short of perfection.
What about Perfectionists?
In psychology, perfectionism is a personality trait characterized by “a person's striving for flawlessness and setting excessively high performance standards, accompanied by overly critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others' evaluations.” (https://personalexcellence.co/blog/perfectionism/)
Moving finish line.
Perfectionism is a manifestation of comparison.
Manifestations of Perfectionism:
Extremely high standards
Being extremely hard on oneself
Excessive negativity or self-pressure
Refusal to start unless absolutely prepared
The character of inflexibility, control and judgment
It's all about the end result
Moving finish line of standards
Success is never enough
You're never doing enough
Hyper-critical of mistakes and details that others don't even notice
Fear of failure - lack of desire to start / avoidance
Self-critical and low self-esteem
Frequent fear of disapproval
High level of anxiety
My Relationship with Perfectionism:
I'm currently in recovery, a recovering perfectionist
Attempt to control my life and plan my future
Expressed lack of trust in God's goodness
Warped understanding of love and why I was loved - for what I do instead of for who I am
Therapy helped me pursue the land of grey and the idea of excellence
I used to take great pride in being a perfectionism - it was a crutch for me, a crippling one.
THE TOXIC RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PERFECTIONISM AND LOW CONFIDENCE
At its core, perfectionism believes that one's worth is associated with one's performance and ability to be as close to perfect as possible. Perfectionism is, therefore, a belief that you are valuable based on what you do, not upon who you are.
Do you love the people in your life because of who they are or because of what they do?
Perfectionism gives rise to low confidence because ...
It robs you of your identity as a human
It pulls you out of the love of a God who is filled with grace and mercy
It puts you into a constant state of competition
It convinces you to not start or that you're not enough or ready
It focuses your attention on what you are doing wrong instead of what you are doing right
It traps you into a limited / set mindset instead freeing you ...
Rank #7: #138: KNOWING YOUR WORTH
Rank #8: #269: HOW TO OVERCOME FEELINGS OF INADEQUACY
Rank #9: #255: HOW TO STOP OVERTHINKING FOR GOOD
Rank #10: #336: HOW TO STOP USING “TIRED” AS AN EXCUSE IN LIFE [FAITH EPISODE]
Thought of the Week:
We live in a state of fatigue, and a tired life is not the type of life I want to live.
Goodbye party to old thoughts.
Why we use tired as an excuse
Performance, making my own way, being my own source, having all the answers - it's exhausting and never-ending. And we weren't created for it to be like that.
Verse of the Week:
Matthew 11:28-30 New International Version (NIV)
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Prayer of the Week:
Father, thank you for your faithfulness. We praise you for pulling on our hearts, for whispering softly that we might draw near to you. Please forgive us for the distraction in our lives and for the things that we have allowed to rob of us what you want for us. You are good and you have good plans for us. You offer an abundant life and one with deep joy and peace - no matter the circumstances or challenges that come our way. And yet, we turn away.
We confess that we are too worried about what other people think. We are unhealthily focused on striving, on achievement and on making ourselves great. We want to make You great Lord, not ourselves. Let our lives be transformed. Teach us how to slow down. Deepen our trust in your providential provision in our lives. Give us the courage to step into rest, into the sabbath, into peace. Open our eyes to see ourselves for who we are - for how You love us - not for what we do, what we've done or what we hope to do. We are weary of doing this on our own. We want more, and we yearn for your wisdom to help us change. Thank you for the power of our thoughts and for the free will You have given us ... embolden us to shift how we use these gifts in a powerful, life-giving, soul-changing and world-influencing way.
What a wonderful promise we have in you and in your rest. Thank you Lord! This week, today, this very minute, we find our rest in you. We cast our cares upon You. We delight in allowing You to carry us, like Father would carry their child. Thank you for opening our eyes to see the opportunity before us, to deepen our trust in You and to be brave enough to be in this world, but not of this world. As we shift into a lifestyle of peace, we boldly ask for favor. May the changes we begin be completed by You and Lord use our small efforts to make a larger impact ... for turning our little into something large is your speciality. We open our lives to You, that your light might reflect brightly into the darkness that surrounds us.
We love You, in Jesus' Name, Amen.
Bonus Verse to Think About:
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 New International Version (NIV)
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
Rank #11: #244: HOW TO FEEL CONFIDENT ABOUT WHO YOU ARE
Rank #12: #155: HOW TO DETOX INSECURITY
Rank #13: #58: 31 WAYS TO BOOST YOUR CONFIDENCE
31 CONFIDENCE BOOSTERS/
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
Decide to pursue confidence
Decide to be the best version of you possible
Decide to be compassionate towards yourself
Decide to be someone who does what they say they are going to do
Decide to live life to the fullest
Decide to believe that you are not defined by your past
Decide to start training your thoughts
Decide to love yourself for who you are today
Decide to surround yourself with people who inspire you
Decide to live with joie de vivre
Take captive toxic thoughts
Take your own self-care seriously
Take notes whenever you are around people who inspire you
Take yourself seriously
Take note of what you love to do and of what makes you feel most alive
Take your nutritional choices mindfully
Take a bad picture or a negative comment less seriously
Take life like an adventure at your fingertips
Take your good and make it great
Take heart and remember that life is about the journey
Be the type of person today that you want to be tomorrow
Be okay with your imperfections
Be an optimist
Be enthusiastic about the possibilities of life
Be a person of integrity
Thanks for celebrating my 31st birthday with me!
Rank #14: #194: SQUASHING SELF-DOUBT
Rank #15: #92: ANNIHILATING ANGER
Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before – it takes something from him.
In this week’s episode we are going to talk about:
How to annihilate anger from taking over your emotions and keeping you in the past
The one instance when you can utilize anger for good
My five ways I manage anger in my life
SHOUT OUT OF THANKS:
Dave from Maryland!
LISTENER OF THE EPISODE:
I have been listening to your podcasts off and on for several years.. I haven't listened to all of them, but when I need a good boost, I definitely tune in to your channel. You have made me cry and inspired me. Anyways... I wanted to know your thoughts about anger.. maybe you have already done a podcast, and I missed it and if you can direct me to it great, or maybe you can do another one.
The reason I ask, is I suffer from depression and I have had individuals hurt me so much, that even thou years have past, when I think about them and the pain, my anger takes me right back to the moment, and the power of it is so real... I feel like it happened yesterday. Though, I don't talk to most of the individuals now, I so badly want to call them up and have them take back all the anger they have given me by letting them know how much it hurt. I don't know if that is appropriate, but I really want too.
Either way, I am wondering if you have experienced such anger, and if you have any possible recommendations on how to deal with anger that lingers for years... despite your best efforts to let it go.
Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy. –Aristotle
For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I shall allow no man to belittle my soul by making me hate him.
-Booker T. Washington
Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before – it takes something from him.
For those of you who listened to episode #80 – you know my sideways years – and I have had the opportunity to be angry about a lot of things in my life. If you missed it, here’s a short outline:
I was angry at the world for…
having to suffer a broken heart
being emotionally abused and threatened in a relationship
being raped and having PTSD as a part of my life for a full year
I was angry at myself for…
my eating disorder
my imperfections and my body
my awkwardness and quirks
my “failures” and short-comings on goals I didn’t achieve
the amount of pressure I put on myself
I was angry at God for….
parents that were always in turmoil
a family who struggled financially
I used these 5 methods to annihilate the anger in my life so that I wouldn't be pinned to the past, but instead be able to thrive and have peace in the present and future.
FIVE WAYS TO ANNIHILATE ANGER IN YOUR HEART:
Remind yourself that anger is a killing thing – and you’re the one it kills.
Anger prevents peace from being present. Choose peace.
Choose to be a victor, not a victim.
Put it into perspective.
Pray for the person.
ANGER IS OKAY WHEN….
It is a “righteous” anger and ignites your soul to change the world or yourself for the better. How do you know when your anger is righteous? It is righteous when you are inspired to positive action. It is not righteous when you are consumed with rage, distraction, or personal vendetta to punish someone else or try to make something right by playing God yourself.
EXAMPLES OF WORDS OF LIFE:
I am not timid, I am strong and determined and I can do this.