Rank #1: #118 Is Meghan Markle Running A Royal Scam? Ft. Enty Lawyer
Sami and Aleen are back and joined by the mythical, Enty Laya. At 6:19 Enty explains where he gets his information from and how people become sources for him. At 12:00 they do a deep investigation on Ariana Grande’s good girl image and whether it’s a facade or not. At 22:00 they talk about why there’s been a shift in celebrity partying from the night clubs of Los Angeles to the basement of their homes. At 26:00 they talk about the questionable move by Justin Bieber to not get a prenup with Hailey Baldwin. At 31:10 they talk about the strategy of celebs fabricating debilitating diseases to cover up drug problems. At 37:00 Enty spills the tea on the biggest Kardashian secrets. At 49:00 Enty gives an update on the rising tensions within the royal family. Thanks to our sponsor, Care/of. For 25% off your first month of personalized Care/of vitamins, visit TakeCareOf.com and enter "Slapped".
Rank #2: #2 How To Tell If You’re A F**kgirl
In our second episode, The Betches discuss the definition of a f**kgirl and f**ckboy, the vice presidential debate (snoozefest!), Kim Kardashian’s robbery, and the new Google phone. We also answer a Dear Betch about dating app text etiquette.
Rank #3: #136 Did Prince William Really Cheat On Kate Middleton?
Sami interrupts your regularly scheduled program to bring you an emergency episode on the royal cheating scandal with an assist from celeb insider, Enty Lawyer. They start by discussing the tea on the alleged Prince William cheating scandal. At 11:00 they talk about whether the feud between Meghan Markle and the Royal Family may be the reason for the rumor of the affair leaking. At 25:40 Enty gives his take on the chaotic new developments in the Britney Spears legal fiasco.
Rank #4: #83 Mourning the Death of Avicii & Our Partying Years
Sami and Jordana mourn the death of Avicii who defined their college years, along with Blackberry. After they briefly discuss the Royal Baby. At 6:38, they begin a brief journey to Bravo land, starting with RHONY. At 15:32, they move on to I Feel Pretty and a discussion of the culture around women's bodies and body positivity. After they plug Diet Starts Tomorrow, the Betches' new podcast about food and wellness. They take a letter from a listener who's been ghosted by her friend after a 4 day bender together in Mexico that went awry. Another listener has qualms with a roommate whose parents pay her rent and is now a life/fitness coach on Insta. This episode was brought to you in partnership with Three Olives Vodka. Enjoy Responsibly.
Rank #5: #46 The Ultimate Guide To A Mans Brain w/ Jared Freid
On this episode guest starring Jared Freid, we talk about how single people need passions, The Bachelorette finale, why girls get engaged just to get engaged, and answer a question from a listener in a five year relationship who’s boyfriend doesn’t want to have kids. Should she break up with him? Email your Dear Betch questions to email@example.com
Rank #6: #58 How Much Sex Should I Be Having In My Relationship?
On this week’s Betch Slapped, Jordana and Sami talk about whether or not Kim Kardashian’s Halloween costume was cultural appropriation and the Kevin Spacey pedophilia scandal. They answer questions from a listener wondering how important sex should be in a relationship and another who wonders if she should see a guy who has a girlfriend. They play games about sharing information on social media and a would your rather about being a millionaire.
Rank #7: #71 You Can Still Lose Weight Without a Fitspo Insta
Sami and Aleen talk about food and weight loss. They talk about the necessary mindset, habits, and how thoroughly unsexy everyone looks waking up early to hit the gym and trim those pounds. In terms of diets, they’ve done it all: carb-free, high-protein, and Halo Top only. Is there anything better than eating out? Of course not, but gaining confidence may be a close second.
Rank #8: #97 Why Is Your Wedding My Inconvenience?
Sami and Jordana are ready to kiss wedding season goodbye. At 2:20, they discuss the very public Jet Blue Bridesmaid dispute. They both agree that the bride is acting a bit extra, but the bridesmaid is also in the wrong for airing a private conversation on Twitter. Sami thinks that some people plan their wedding as a hobby because it’s the most important thing they’ll ever do. At 15:50, they discuss the re-emergence of Meghan Markle’s dad. Sami is not 100 percent sold on Meghan Markle who, for some reason, still refuses to address her family drama. At 19:30, a listener wonders, “how do I tell my friend that her boyfriend is cheating on her even though she probably already knows and is just in denial?” At 24:00, a listener asks, “how do I avoid an ex boyfriend hoping to run into me and win me back?”. At 29:50, they wrap up with some wedding games including Would You Rather: be a bridesmaid for 25 friends or zero?
Rank #9: #21 Are You Rich Or Boughie? w/ Stassi Schroeder
This v special episode featured Stassi Schroeder of Vanderpump Rules. We discuss behind the scenes of the show and the Pump Rules cast, debate the definition of "boughie" and answer the Dear Betch of a girl who has a 7 year flirtation with her "guy friend" -- which by the way, are guy friends even real?
Rank #10: #127 Is Kris Jenner Behind The Jordyn Woods Drama?
Sami and Jordana are back and talking about their weekend trip to Colombia, including the peaks and pits of their vacay. At 5:40 they talk about the Oscars, react to Green Book’s controversial best picture win and discuss Lady Gaga’s chemistry with Bradley Cooper. They dive into the Jordyn Woods scandal and share some Kardashian conspiracy theories. Could this all just be a ploy to get Tristan Thompson out of the picture? At 28:30 a listener writes in to ask about going on a trip with friends who want to bring their boyfriends along. Should there have been a convo before they were invited? Another listener asks for advice with running an Instagram account alongside her lazy friend. Is there any good way to tell a friend they’re f*cking up? At 42:40 they close out the show with a game of Guess the Virgin and tell us who they’d like to Betch Slap this week.
Rank #11: #82 The Narcissists' Guide to Coachella
Sami and Aleen just returned from Coachella. They mostly tanned, drank Three Olives Rosé vodka, and in Sami's case "pounded" bread. Aleen has but one Coachella "ragret", missing Queen Bey. They talk about the act everyone in Indio saw this weekend: people taking thousands of selfies. At 15:04, they move off Coachella into Vanderpump. At 18:38, they move on to Khloe's new baby and the drama with Tristan. Why can't Khloe pick a decent dude? Finally, they take a couple letters from listeners, the final one asking about when to have "the kids talk" with a potential partner. This episode was brought to you in partnership with Three Olives Vodka. Enjoy Responsibly.
Rank #12: #62 TBH Meghan Markle Is Kind Of Annoying
This week Jordana and Aleen discuss the Royal engagement. They answer questions from a listener who wants to find a new job after having a baby and another who’s upset that her sister doesn’t get along with her boyfriend. They play games involving British royalty vs ‘American Royalty’ and whether or not they’d sign an sexual non-disclosure form.
Rank #13: #69 The Quarter Life Crisis
In 2018's second episode, Sami and Aleen start the show dishing on Vanderpump Rules. After sufficiently calling everyone on Vanderpump delusional, they talk about quarter life crisis, the moment we've all had (or will have) where we're 25-ish and realize we don't identify with our own identity. Don't miss this week's "Dear Betches" which can be summed up as someone asking, "What the f*ck is with all these fitness instagrams?" Hint: it involves crisis. The rest of the ep. deals with very serious questions including what the quarter life crisis looked like before social media, how fat Khloe Kardashian is, and if Aleen would freeze her eggs.
Rank #14: #3 Why "Locker Room Talk" is BS
The Betches discuss Drake and Rihanna's break up and "locker room talk" in the second presidential debate. They also advise a reader about how to handle a psycho, clingy roommate and discuss which absurd Americans they'd rather have as their president.
Rank #15: #122 Is Fyre Festival Is The Greatest Scam Of All Time?
Aleen and Sami are back and talking about today’s launch of the new Ship dating app from Betches. At 7:35 they dive into the dueling Fyre Festival documentaries and never want the convo to end. Which one did you like better, Netflix of Hulu? At 26:10 Sami makes a shocking confession. At 33:10 they continue the theme of influencer scams with a discussion of Caroline Calloway and her failed creativity "seminars." At 42:00 they respond to an email about finding new friends. They conclude with some con-artist themed games and thoughts on Oscar snubs. Betches has launched a new dating app called Ship! Check it out now at betches.co/ship Thanks to our sponsors! Third Love- Go to ThirdLove.com/Betch now to find your perfect-fitting bra and get 15% off your first purchase!
Rank #16: #52 Open Relationships Are Fake News
Topics include the Laci Peterson documentary and our love for true crime, and a little bit about the Emmys. We respond to reader feedback on open relationships, and give advice on ghosting a friend and demoting a maid of honor. And a sh*t ton of Would You Rathers Sponsored By: Framebridge.com (Code: Betches) Send your 'Dear Betch' questions to firstname.lastname@example.org
Rank #17: #15 Let's Talk About Smart Things w/ Olivia Caridi
This special edition of Betch Slapped featured former Bachelor contestant Olivia Caridi. We discuss Nick Viall's season premiere, the new group of bachelorettes, the behind the scenes of filming, and what it's like to be turned into the season's villain
Rank #18: #36 The Dating App That Gets You A Boyfriend
This amazing episode features special guest Jared Freid to discuss the new Bachelorette season, which dating apps are good for actually finding a boyfriend, and guys' obsession with The Rock. Dear Betch submission talks about a girl with a crush on her coworker who she thinks leads her on but won't make a move.
Rank #19: #133 Are Millennials Actually Sick of Drinking?
Aleen, Sami and Jordana are all here, and they start off talking about Sami’s upcoming 30th birthday. At 6:40 they discuss an article in the Atlantic asking if millennials are getting tired of drinking. This leads to a conversation about their changing drinking habits. At 23:10 they share a dramatic reading of the cringeworthy poem Justin Bieber wrote for Hailey Baldwin. At 28:00 a listener writes in to ask how she should deal with a coworker who insists on talking about his political opinions all day. They finish the show with a game of “Guess the Celebrity Poet” featuring some of the most absurd poems celebrities have ever written.
Rank #20: #90 We Need To Talk About Ariana Grande And Pete Davidson
Aleen and Sami talk about Jax and Brittany getting engaged. There seems to be a gross over-emphasis on the size of their ring. At 6:36, they move on to an even higher profile engagement, Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande. Could it be a PR stunt? Nobody knows. At 18:53, they take an email from a listener struggling to get a job; she gets to the last round, but she can't close the deal. What's the problem? At 24:40, they take another letter from a listener asking how to deal with adult friendships. She's annoyed with her unambitious friends - what now? At 31:35, they move onto some games including would you rather have: a mom who is obsessed with your horoscope, or a mom who is obsessed with you keeping your bedtime.