Erin Royer-Asrilant, LA's go-to expert on all things parenting and child development for today’s common challenges, covers way more than just discipline. She dives into topics such as self-esteem, development and health, modern parenting issues and even education. Erin is not just knowledgeable but also relatable, warm, and sometimes even funny.
Erin Royer-Asrilant, LA's go-to expert on all things parenting and child development for today’s common challenges, covers way more than just discipline. She dives into topics such as self-esteem, development and health, modern parenting issues and even education. Erin is not just knowledgeable but also relatable, warm, and sometimes even funny.
Erin Royer-Asrilant, LA's go-to expert on all things parenting and child development for today’s common challenges, covers way more than just discipline. She dives into topics such as self-esteem, development and health, modern parenting issues and even education. Erin is not just knowledgeable but also relatable, warm, and sometimes even funny.
© 2019 OwlTail All rights reserved. OwlTail only owns the podcast episode rankings. Copyright of underlying podcast content is owned by the publisher, not OwlTail. Audio is streamed directly from Erin Royer-Asrilant - LA's Parenting and Child Development Expert servers. Downloads goes directly to publisher.
#32 Earning Your Stripes with Patrick Collison. On this episode of the Knowledge Project Podcast, I chat with Patrick Collison, co-founder and CEO of the leading online payment processing company, Stripe. If you’ve purchased anything online recently, there’s a good chance that Stripe facilitated the transaction. What is now an organization with over a thousand employees and handling tens of billions of dollars of online purchases every year, began as a small side experiment while Patrick and his brother John were going to college. During our conversation, Patrick shares the details of their unlikely journey and some of the hard-earned wisdom he picked up along the way. I hope you have something handy to write with because the nuggets per minute in this episode are off the charts. Patrick was so open and generous with his responses that I’m really excited for you to hear what he has to say. Here are just a few of the things we cover: The biggest (and most valuable) mistakes Patrick made in the early days of Stripe and how they helped him get better The characteristics that Patrick looks for in a new hire to fit and contribute to the Stripe company culture What compelled he and his brother to move forward with the early concept of Stripe, even though on paper it was doomed to fail from the start The gaps Patrick saw in the market that dozens of other processing companies were missing — and how he capitalized on them The lessons Patrick learned from scaling Stripe from two employees (he and his brother) to nearly 1,000 today How he evaluates the upsides and potential dangers of speculative positions within the company How his Irish upbringing influenced his ability to argue and disagree without taking offense (and how we can all be a little more “Irish”) The power of finding the right peer group in your social and professional circles and how impactful and influential it can be in determining where you end up. The 4 ways Patrick has modified his decision making process over the last 5 years and how it’s helped him develop as a person and as a business leader (this part alone is worth the listen) Patrick’s unique approach to books and how he chooses what he’s going to spend his time reading ...life in Silicon Valley, Baumol’s cost disease, and so, so much more. Patrick truly is one of the most warm, humble and down to earth people I’ve had the pleasure to speak with and I thoroughly enjoyed our conversation together. I hope you will too! *** For comprehensive show notes on this episode, including a full edited transcript, go to https://www.fs.blog/podcast/ My free weekly Brain Food digest helps you upgrade your thinking. Don't miss out, sign up at https://www.fs.blog/newsletter/ Follow Shane on Twitter (https://twitter.com/farnamstreet)
Airbnb's Brian Chesky in Handcrafted. If you want your company to truly scale, you first have to do things that don't scale. Handcraft the core experience. Get your hands dirty. Serve your customers one-by-one. And don't stop until you know exactly what they want. That's what Brian Chesky did. As CEO of Airbnb, Brian’s early work was more akin to a traveling salesman. He takes us back to his lean years – when he went door-to-door, meeting Airbnb hosts in person – and shares the imaginative route to crafting what he calls an "11-star experience.”
Episode 26: Living Long Enough to Live Forever. In Episode 6, Peter and Dan described how mindset plays a key role in living a long, healthy life, this time they share stories about how they each arrived at their ambitious longevity goals. In this episode: Peter talks about Ray Kurzweil’s belief that children born today will have the ability to have an indefinite lifespan. Dan describes his thoughts on attitude and why the future is something you must work toward. Peter puts into perspective the amazing times we are living in, citing how the human lifespan has doubled over the last century. Dan mentions his visit to Human Longevity Inc., for the full story, listen to Episode 21 here.
#17 Nick Littlehales - Improve your sleep. Nick is regarded as the leading elite sports sleep coach in world sport. A leading industry expert with over 30 years experience in the world of sleep, sleeping habits, and product design and over 15 years dedicated to elite athletes and professional sport. For more information about Nick visit sportsleepcoach.co.uk For more information about Mind Set Game connect with us on Facebook @mindsetgamepodcast. For more information about James Roberts (the host of the podcast), visit fitamputee.co.uk
Rank #1: 421 MM 4 Fun and Constructive Ways to Spend Time With Your Toddler. The toddler years are both exhausting and exhilarating and definitely a time for tremendous growth and development. Mighty Mommy shares 4 ways you can maximize your child’s fast-paced toddler days. Read the transcript at http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/node/9566
Rank #2: 521 - 5 Ways to Keep Your Cool With Frustrating Kids . Although our kids can bring us to our breaking point, they don't have to send us overboard. Mighty Mommy shares 5 ways to keep your temper in check, no matter how much your kids annoy you.
Rank #1: BGM 013: How to discipline kids without feeling any guilt. How do you discipline your children? Most often discipline gets mixed up with punishment. In this episode Rhea shares how you can guide your children in the areas they need to, while keeping calm and staying emotionally connected with your kids. Listen in as Rhea shares a great way to discipline kids without feeling any […] The post BGM 013: How to discipline kids without feeling any guilt appeared first on BuildGreatMinds.com.
Rank #2: BGM 014: How to stop your kids from whining. Kids whining or sounding victimized is something that is learned. Kids do it because they see that it works. In this episode Rhea teaches you the trick to raising kids who ask for what they want in a more useful and productive way… so your kids can powerfully create the life they want.Let us know your thoughts in the comments section below.Interested in getting more parenting tips? Head to www.BuildGreatMinds.com to get a FREE video series (and much more free stuff) on how you can stop tantrums, get kids to process emotions in healthy ways and have an incredibly loving connection with your kids.Click Here to Subscribe to the Podcast via iTunes Click Here to Download this Podcast EpisodeThe post BGM 014: How to stop your kids from whining appeared first on BuildGreatMinds.com.
Rank #1: #1: What Your Kids Want Most. Your kids want time with you. In this first episode, Dr. Meg explains how parents can learn how to make their kids feel important, how to listen, & get a plan! Featured Story Spotlight: “Action!”, about a filmmaker father creating time with his sons. Featured Question: Should I let my child take a cell phone to school? Send questions to email@example.com
Rank #2: #62: Discipline With Courage and Kindness (with guest interviewer Roger Marsh). This is a special episode where Dr. Meeker is interviewed by Roger Marsh about her new curriculum Discipline With Courage and Kindness. This is a great curriculum that talks about how different parenting styles can be used to successfully raise your great kids! There are different kinds of parents and different kinds of kids, and knowing what method works for your kids will help you be a better parent in the long run. You don’t want to miss this great interview where Dr. Meg takes the intervieweeseat! Also in this episode, Dr. Meg answers a question from a mom that’s a new listener about how to be a mom to her step-children. Do you have a question for Dr. Meg? If so, email them to firstname.lastname@example.org she could answer your question in an upcoming episode! 0:00 – AD – MATTRESS FIRM How much sleep did you get last night? Getting enough sleep and waking up on time aren’t easy, but with the right mattress it can be! The sleep experts at Mattress Firm can help. They have the widest selection of America’s best-selling brands, and they have mattresses at every budget! Go to MattressFirm.com/podcastand save 10% with the code “PODCAST10”. If online shopping isn’t for you, there’s a Mattress Firm store around the corner in your neighborhood. 0:46 – AD – LAND’S END KIDS Back to school shopping is upon us, and Land’s End Kids offers outstanding quality, with styles that will stick around from the first day of school to the last! Today’s listeners will get 40% off Land’s End’s backpacks and all other back-to-school must-haves like lunch boxes, graphic tees and iron knee pants at LandsEnd.comwith promo code TEACHER. 2:04 – WELCOME Dr. Meg introduces the topic “Discipline With Courage and Kindness”. This is a special episode where Dr. Meg is interviewd by Roger Marsh about her new curriculum about discipline. 3:34 – A CONVERSATION WITH DR. MEG MEEKER (PART 1) Dr. Meg sits down for a conversation with Roger Marsh about her exciting new curriculum Discipline With Courage and Kindness, and she is the one being interviewed for this special episode! 20:30 – AD – LAND’S END KIDS Back to school shopping is upon us, and Land’s End Kids offers outstanding quality, with styles that will stick around from the first day of school to the last! Today’s listeners will get 40% off Land’s End’s backpacks and all other back-to-school must-haves like lunch boxes, graphic tees and iron knee pants at LandsEnd.comwith promo code TEACHER. 22:34 – AD – COFFEE AND CRAYONS PODCAST Summer camps are wrapping up and kids and parents are ready for back to school! It’s a time for parents to set up their kids for success and give them the support they need to thrive. But, everyone needs support, even parents! And, who better to help than fellow moms and dads. On the Coffee and Crayons podcast, host and parent Mallory Kasdan is everyone’s back to school wing-mom. In each episode, Mallory talks compassion, creativity and inclusion with parenting influencers and everyday people. Subscribe now to Coffee and Crayons on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play, or wherever you get your podcasts! 23:52 – A CONVERSATION WITH DR. MEG MEEKER (PART 2) Dr. Meg sits down for a conversation with Roger Marsh about her exciting new curriculum Discipline With Courage and Kindness, and she is the one being interviewed for this special episode! 36:29 – LET’S GET SOCIAL Email Dr. Meg at email@example.com tweet your question to her @MegMeekerMD. In this segment, Dr. Meg answers a question from a new listener named Jordan about how to be a mom to her step-children in her blended family. 44:39 – FROM THE PRODUCER Thanks for listening to Episode 62, Discipline With Courage and Kindness and for helping Dr. Meg’s parenting revolution reach more than TWO MILLION downloads! Subscribe, rate, and leave a review for us on iTunes! Get Social with Dr. Meg on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram @MegMeekerMD Have a parenting question? Write Dr. Meg at firstname.lastname@example.org she could answer your question during the show or you can let us know what you’d like to hear about in a future episode! Dr. Meg’s parenting resources and tools are available at www.megmeekermd.comand click on “Parenting Resources”. Subscribe, rate, and leave a review for us on iTunes!
Rank #1: Raising a Grateful Child – Part 1. Getting Ready for a Successful Thanksgiving Gratitude is not something that is an innate human trait.Â Because we are all born selfish, it is something that is both caught and taught.Â As God designed it, babies spend all of their time having their needs met.Â As children get older they are taught to be more and more self-sufficient.Â If we are not spending time training our children to have a grateful heart however, they will keep that selfish attitude. Thanksgiving gives us a wonderful opportunity for training.Â We can utilize the theme of this holiday to start our holiday season off with an attitude of gratitude.Â One way to do that is by creating an “Iâ€™m thankful for list”.Â Starting today put a poster board up in a central location of your house.Â It can be a plain poster board or you can enlist the help of your children to decorate it.Â Â Parents can take the initiative and begin every day by writing at least one thing on the list that they are thankful for. Make a game of seeing who can come up with the most things.Â Keeping the things that we are thankful for in the forefront of our minds will begin to train us, and our children, to have grateful hearts. For more ideas on teaching gratitude through fun activities check out, http://glittermagic.wordpress.com/2010/11/11/10-ways-to-celebrate-gratitude-in-your-happy-home/
Rank #2: Raising a Grateful Child | Part 4. Teaching Gratitude Through the Christmas Season Choose to continue the momentum that you have built training your children in gratitude through the holiday season.Â Christmas can be a difficult time for our children to have a grateful heart.Â There are millions of dollars being spent this season on advertising to convince us that we need things that we donâ€™t have. One way to continue the momentum is by serving others.Â Continue to create excitement for your family service project.Â Look for other places you can serve others and include your children.Â Offer to help an older woman or a woman with small children, load their groceries into their car.Â Have your children help you babysit for a couple with small children so they can get out during this busy season.Â Have your children help bake cookies to take to the neighbors.Â There are many ways to serve others we just have to make that our focus and wait for the opportunity.Â You can even make that a game with your children, who can spot an opportunity to serve first. Another thing we can do as a family is continue our â€œI am grateful for listâ€. Every night before bed or at the dinner table, each family member can say one thing that they are thankful for.Â Continue your focus on gratitude through out the Christmas season.
Rank #1: Your Child's Erratic, Disruptive Behavior. In this episode: A parent describes her 3-year-old as a firecracker. “He is full of life and joy and attitude!” While she appreciates his energy, there are times when he gets too wound up and is no longer “in himself.” He often becomes overly physical with his 17-month old brother and even hits adults. She says when he’s in this zone, words have no effect, and she feels the only way to deal with him by putting him in his room. This mum’s wondering if she’s doing the right thing or if Janet might have some other suggestions.For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are available at Amazon. Also, her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).
Rank #2: Setting Limits With Respect - What It Sounds Like. In this episode: I always try to be as specific and descriptive as possible in my writing, because I am acutely aware how challenging it is to communicate Magda Gerber’s respectful care practices through the written word. To my amazement, many of my readers do understand and successfully implement these practices without ever seeing (or hearing) them demonstrated. My hat’s off to you! But for others who prefer show and tell, this podcast covers the very popular topic of setting limits: doing it confidently; acknowledging feelings; and honest consequences. For more, please check out my book, "No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame" on Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ). Also available for download, my audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).For more audio on respectful parenting solutions, please check out this new resource -- "Sessions" -- my recorded consultations with parents: SessionsAudio.com
Rank #1: 068 Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication with Oren Jay Sofer . The Mindful Parenting in a Messy World podcast with Michelle Gale is for parents who long to be meaningfully connected to themselves and their children, even as the demands and complexities of modern life are accelerated. Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication, is a step-by-step guide for meaningful conversations that bring people together. It is the first book to integrate mindfulness with the modern discipline of Nonviolent Communication and somatic healing. Whether it's managing conflict at work, navigating a political divide with a friend or relative or strengthening bonds at home—communicating effectively is what makes or breaks our relationships. Rich with simple yet powerful exercises, Say What You Mean offers a clear method and concrete practices for healthier, more effective conversations. Oren Jay Sofer teaches meditation and communication retreats and workshops nationally. A member of the Spirit Rock Teachers Council, he is a Certified Trainer of Nonviolent Communication, a Course Trainer at Mindful Schools, and a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner for healing trauma. Oren also holds a degree in Comparative Religion from Columbia University and is the author of Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication.
Rank #2: 042 The Mindful Day: Practical Ways to Find Focus, Calm, and Joy From Morning to Evening with Laurie Cameron. The Mindful Parenting in a Messy World podcast with Michelle Gale is for parents who long to be meaningfully connected to themselves and their children, even as the demands and complexities of modern life are accelerated. Our intent is to share a collection of supportive conversations, meditations, and nuggets of practical wisdom to help you embrace the parenting journey as your greatest potential for growth. www.michellegale.com Listen in to this practical and supportive conversation between Michelle & Laurie Cameron on how to weave mindfulness into daily life. You can check out Laurie’s new book The Mindful Day wherever books are sold.
Rank #1: 096: How to prevent sexual abuse. This is another of those topics I really wish I didn't have to do. In this interview with Dr. Jennie Noll of Pennsylvania State University, we discuss the impacts that sexual abuse can have on a child (even many years after the event itself!), and we talk extensively about what parents can do to prevent abuse from happening in the first place.If you want to be sure to remember this info, there's a FREE one-page cheat sheet of the 5 key steps parents can take to prevent sexual abuse available below.
Rank #2: 022: How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: Author Interview!. Have you read the now-classic book How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk? Ever wished there was a version that would help you with younger children who perhaps aren't quite ready for a detailed problem-solving session?Well now there is! Adele Faber is a co-author of the original book; Adele's daughter Joanna and Joanna's childhood friend Julie King have teamed up to write the new version of How to Talk so LITTLE Kids Will Listen, packed with examples of how real parents have used the information they've now been teaching for over 30 years.Join me for a chat with Julie King as we work to understand the power of acknowledging children's feelings and some practical tools to help engage your younger children to cooperate with you.Update 5/10/17: An eagle-eyed listener noticed that Julie mentioned her 10-year-old son wanting to sit on the front seat of her car, while the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommends that children 12 and under should sit in the back seat. Julie was recounting an episode that happened long before there were CDC recommendations on where children should sit in the car, so please don't take this as an 'OK' to put your 12-and-under child in the front seat. Thanks!ReferenceFaber, J. & King, J. (2017). How to talk so little kids will listen. New York: Scribner. (Affiliate link)
Rank #1: Mental Health and Empathy Podcast #505. Cathy and Todd discuss the benefit of mental health days after a law passed in Oregon allowing them to be excused. They also discuss the light and dark side of empathy, and how pain and challenge is a an opportunity to become more compassionate toward ourselves and others. The discuss post-traumatic growth and how we are hard-wired to help people in need, especially if we relate to their experience. Time Stamps 2:23 Mental health days 16:55 Hidden Brain- The Empathy Gym 17:36 Trauma 24:00 Can empathy cripple us? 39:30 Collective Trauma 44:12 Avid Company- Painting or remodeling needs? Check out the bald headed beauty Jeremy Kraft @ Avid Resources Team Zen- 0 Pressure, 100% support Enter coupon code “Jan” for 1 free month Tribe Men’s Group Pop Culturing Todd Adams Coaching For Guys Painting or remodeling needs? Check out Avid Co. Upcoming Events CLICK HERE for a list of all upcoming events
Rank #2: Give Up Control- Podcast #323. Todd and Cathy discuss how when we give up control, we recognize that we never had control in the first place. They process what it means to have humility, be patient with the “not knowing”, and be appreciative for the right now. They discuss why the oldest child is expected to be most responsible, Todd’s most recent experience with letting go, and Dr. Shefali’s most recent appearance on Super Soul Sunday.
Rank #1: SFP 167: The Love Languages + Children [with Diane Debrovner of Parents Magazine]. In today’s episode, we are discussing the 5 Love Languages as they pertain to children. I am joined by Diane Debrover, the Deputy Editor of Parents Magazine where we talk through each of the Love Languages and explore how they show up in children. Spoiler alert: I’ve got my reservations about the Love Language of gifts. Show Notes/Links:Article on Parents.comThe 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children EffectivelyParents IRLTranscription of Full EpisodeDenaye: Hi Diane. Thanks for joining me today.Diane: Hi Denaye. So nice to be with you.Denaye: It’s good to chat. Tell me a littlebit about yourself personally, professionally.Diane: My name is Diane Debrovner. I amthe deputy editor of Parents Magazine and I’ve actually been here for many,many years. I started out as a senior editor and then I was the health andpsychology editor and I’ve been a deputy editor for many years. I oversee ourcoverage of articles related to children’s health, and development, andbehavior, and relationships, and books, and a bunch of other things. I am themother of two daughters who are now 14 and 25 but I very clearly remember whenthey were very young and I was a young mother myself. So I am absolutely in themindset of your audience and our audience and it’s been a real privilege to beat Parents all this time and see how things have changed and stayed the same atthe same time.Denaye: Right. So your kids pretty much grewup with the magazine. Your first daughter was born shortly before you startedworking there?Diane: She was, she was 18 months oldwhen I started working at Parents. And then my daughters are 11 years apart. Iwas divorced and I got remarried and when I had a second baby, it was reallygreat for my career. There aren’t a lot of people who can say that. So I threwmyself back into the content in a very hands on way.Denaye: How long has Parents been around?Diane: Parents was founded in 1926,believe it or not.Denaye: Oh my goodness. I had no idea. Wow.Diane: Yes, we celebrated our 90thanniversary a few years ago and there used to be a lot of other parenthoodmagazines and there really are not now. Our challenge has been to continue tobe authoritative and really be on top of the latest medical advice and researchthat relates to raising children. But also look at what’s happening in ourculture and make sure that the advice that we’re giving and the way that we’rereflecting parenthood back to our audience is authentic and makes sense for2019.Denaye: Wow, it’s a huge accomplishment tohave lasted 90 years. And you’re right, a lot of the parenting magazines that Iknew of just even a few years ago really aren’t around anymore. So Parents hasprevailed.Diane: Parents are getting informationfrom all different places. From each other online, from podcasts like yours,from books. And so I think that at the magazine we really see our job ashelping parents. One of our jobs is to help parents have a toolkit of resourcesthat are helpful to them in doing their job. And your job as a parent keepschanging as your child gets older, right? Just when you think that you’ve gotit down when your kid is a baby, then she becomes a toddler and you have tocome up with some new strategies. So every article that we run, and I’m sureevery podcast that you run isn’t necessarily going to ring true to every singleparent, but those that do can be incredibly helpful. We just want to give momsand dads all the resources that we can.Denaye: Right. And I totally agree withthat. I’ve always been a fan, slash also a friend, I guess, of Parents and thecontent that you have. I think that it’s a nice succinct way to present newtopics to parents. I imagine that you’ve probably seen the pendulum swing backand forth on different types of parenting styles and whatnot over the years.Diane: I think certainly on the topic ofover parenting, which is a topic that I know is near and dear to your heart. Ihave seen the pendulum come and go. That’s certainly one area where parents feltthat they were doing the right thing by being really involved and protectingtheir kids from dangers. And I think there’s been a profound realization thatdoing too much for our kids is doing a disservice to them. So we’re helpingparents find the right balance.Denaye: Right. And I think that sometimes itcan seem like these trends come and go in parenting, but I actually think thatsome of the big shifts have been… I mean if you think about back, and I thinkit was maybe the 30s or 40s when doctors were saying you shouldn’t hold yourbaby too much, you shouldn’t touch them too much and that that was going tospoil them. There was a lot of that type of chatter going on back in the 30sand 40s. Then once research around child development really started to comeout, which wasn’t really until closer to the 50s, 60s, 70s, and now obviouslywe constantly have new research coming out. It’s not necessarily that thependulum has been swinging back and forth, back and forth. It’s more of we’rejust getting more information all the time and we’re learning how humans growand develop all the time.Diane: Yes, I think you’re absolutelyright. I think you’re right. And certainly we have so much information and Ithink that the tendency to over parent and be nervous about our kids being indanger is because we have access to so much of that medical research and 24/7news. The world is a scary place and it’s an understandable instinct thatparents want to protect their kids. It’s not a bad thing. It’s coming from a placeof love.Denaye: Yes, better safe than sorry is anexpression that I hear a lot from parents and I agree with it on someoccasions. Then others, I feel like it’s sometimes can hurt us more than helpus.Diane: Well, congratulations on yourbook, because your book [crosstalk 00:06:01] articulates a lot of this samephilosophy and I found it incredibly helpful, and enjoyable and it makes atremendous amount of sense. So congratulations on that.Denaye: Oh, thank you. It has been such afun journey and I’ve loved hearing the feedback from all the readers, so I doappreciate that. The article that I want to talk about today, Diane, is aboutthe love languages. I know you all had recently published an article on thelove languages, a feature article. And you talk about applying the lovelanguages to children, which isn’t something that I necessarily think of.Because when I think about the love languages I think about it more in apartner or marriage sense. I’m not really familiar with thinking about the lovelanguages in terms of our children. I’d love to hear just a little bit aboutfor anyone that might not be familiar with the love languages, what they are,where they came from.Diane: The Five Love Languages is a bookthat was written by Dr. Gary Chapman actually more than 25 years ago. I hadalways heard about them and I think a lot of people have a vague sense of whatthey are. But I actually wasn’t incredibly familiar with them. We decided torevisit the topic because one of our regular writers stumbled upon the bookwhen she was having a hard time making sense of her own child’s behavior. Theoriginal book and the subsequent book, which is called The Five Love Languagesfor Children, talks about the fact that there are five different ways thateverybody expresses love. And that we all like all of them, but that everyperson has one way that is particularly meaningful to him or her. And that ifyou can identify which of those love languages is your child’s preferred one,then you’re in a better position to let your child really appreciate how youfeel.Diane: And it’s also a way to anticipateany possible behavior problems that could be related to the fact that yourchild is not feeling as loved in the way that she would like to be. So it wasan aha moment for Gail Cornwall, who wrote this story for us. And once we duginto it, it was really quite interesting. And I think it doesn’t necessarilyring true for every parent, but for many it can be quite telling.Denaye: When I think about the five love languages,I think that some parents might default to thinking like, “Of course mykid knows that I love them.” Like, “Of course I love my kid.”But I think one of the pieces of this that’s really important to consider ishow your child can feel connection to you. Because in this busy, chaotic world,I think that’s one of the things that’s lacking so often, is that our kids getshuffled from one place to the next and they don’t actually slow down andconnect with us.Diane: And certainly if you are making aneffort to express your love in the way that you have discovered is mostsignificant to your child, your child will be really, not just appreciative,but really feel like you get him. That you understand where he’s coming fromand that’s a really powerful feeling for kids.Denaye: Right. Because even though of coursewe love our kids, they might need to hear it and to feel it in ways that aren’tnecessarily as natural to us.Diane: I mean, your kid isn’t obviouslygoing to say like, “Oh my mother understands my love language. Thank youso much for… [crosstalk 00:00:09:51].” But wordlessly, I think that theywill experience the benefit of it.Denaye: Yeah. They’re going to be more calm.They’re going to feel more connected. I feel like the rhythm and generalfeeling of your days may flow a little bit more smoothly.Diane: I hope so.Denaye: What do you think the benefits ofunderstanding your kids’ love language is?Diane: One of the things to say from thebeginning, what distinguishes children’s expression of the love language versusadults, is that kids tend to show their love for us in the same way that theywant to be loved. If physical touch is their primary love language, they aregoing to be very hands on with their parents. They not only will be huggingthem, but they might be pulling your hair and tugging on your pant leg andwanting to sit in your lap. Some of that might seem a little bit annoying tosome parents. But it’s not that they’re just snuggling under a blanket, butthey’re just being very seemingly needy in a physical way.Diane: I think once you can appreciatethe fact that they’re doing that because they just are a physically orientedchild, then we can perceive their behavior in a more positive way and receiveit more openly, and then turn around and find ways to be physicallyaffectionate with our child that are surprising, and fun, and touching for ourchild.Denaye: That brings us to the first lovelanguage, which is touch. And I think this is one that is going to resonate withso, so many people who have young children. Because I feel like young childrentend to touch a lot.Diane: They absolutely do. And I thinkwith very young children, it may seem like they all want to touch. I mean, ifwe go through the different love languages, some of them relate to kids whowant to hear the words, I love you. And they want you to do certain things forthem. And obviously when you have a very young child who can’t talk yet, touchis really all babies’ primary love language.Diane: But there are kids who just wantto be close to you all the time. And I think that holding their hand andrubbing their back and encouraging them to sit in your lap, that you can seethere are certain children in particular that I think that you’ll see their levelof calm increase. And that they’ll just melt into you in a way that’s verytelling.Denaye: There are a lot of kids who needtouch and ask for it in less than gentle and less than pleasant ways. I’mthinking about recently my kids were at a yoga class, and they were indifferent parts of the room, and they were doing whatever the yoga move was,downward facing dog or whatever it was. And all of a sudden my daughter juststopped what she was doing, ran over and smacked my son on the head and thenjust ran back to her spot. It seemed like this really random non-aggressive yetalso not entirely appropriate behavior, but it was almost like, “Heybrother, I see you over there.” Like, “I just wanted to say hi.”Denaye: I laugh a little bit because it’s myson and he survived and he was fine with it. But just because it was this signthat she sometimes uses her body in ways that, sure I don’t love it. But alsoshe’s three and she’s still learning how to communicate and she’s stilllearning how to express herself.Diane: And she probably wouldn’t havedone it with another kid in the class. But I think that kids feel comfortablebeing themself and being uninhibited with their parents. And the nice thing isthat they feel that way with their siblings often too. And it has pros andcons. But I think she feels like he’s going to understand her and what hermotivation was, which is nice.Denaye: And she might’ve have been in theback of the classroom feeling less connected and was just looking for thatlittle touch point. Quite literally, touch point, slap point, whatever you wantto call it. And she found it and then she went back to her space and she wasjust fine. I see that in my kids towards me too, that sometimes they’re hangingon my leg or climbing on my shoulders and in my personal space in ways that is,like you said, it gets a little bit annoying and a little bit invasive. Butit’s not that they’re doing it to annoy us. They’re doing it to elicitattention and touch from us.Diane: And when you’re talking about theslapping, I think as kids get older, and I guess younger kids too, that certainkids play wrestling and jostling and what seems like not affectionate touchingmeets the same need for certain kids too.Denaye: Yeah, I agree with that. So the nextlove language is gifts. What do you think about the love language of gifts?Diane: Well, I know how you feel aboutgifts.Denaye: Right, that’s why I asked you first.Diane: Well, what I thought wasinteresting about this love language is that it’s not just that kids wantconstant presents and they’re very needy, and they want more stuff all thetime. But that they really see any gift as being an embodiment, a reflection ofhow you feel about them. So that they really see it as something that you’redoing because you love them. And the benefit is that it doesn’t have to be a200 piece Lego set. It could be a really beautiful stone that you picked up ona walk, or it could be a Origami swan that you made out of paper, or anythingthat you give to your child that is a way of saying, “You know what, I wasthinking about you today and I wanted you to have this because I love you, andI thought it would be special to you.”Diane: These are kids who take greatpleasure in seeing how an actual gift might be wrapped. They might alwaysremember who gave what gift to them and they often have a hard time throwingthings away because everything that they received as a gift is special to them.Denaye: Yeah. I see a little bit of that inmy daughter. She loves to give gifts and because she’s only three, she doesn’treally give gifts very often, but she does make up her own gifts. She oftenwill take Magna-Tile squares and make a cube and then put little toys inside ofit. And then have me wrap it up with one of her scarves and that’s the wrappingpaper. But it’s meaningful to her to be presenting something to someone and tobe showing someone else that she’s thinking about you.Diane: And she probably watches yourreaction very closely and wants to make sure that you appreciate it just asmuch as she does, right?Denaye: Yes. Yes, for sure. I guess whenyou’re thinking about the love language of gifts for kids, I think this can bea slippery slope. I mean, all kids like to get gifts. So who are the kids thathave gifts as their love language? What kids need gifts to feel loved? That’s atricky question.Diane: I actually think that this isprobably the least common love language and it’s surprising because all kidslike gifts. I actually think that most kids truly crave love in other ways morethan gifts, which is a good thing. I think that there may just be certain kidswho like concrete manifestations of things. They like objects and they likebeing able to look at something and an actual thing reminds them of a person. Idon’t know. I don’t really know what the psychological ramifications of thatare.Denaye: I don’t know either. I wonder if itcan be a result of the way that kids were raised. If we’re given a lot of giftsfrom the very beginning and they came to expect that, if that can be part ofit. I don’t know. I’m kind of a skeptic in general about gifts as a lovelanguage and I know there’s a lot of people out there who say like, “Oh,gifts are my love language. That’s how I show my love.” But I feel likesometimes, and now this isn’t always, but sometimes gifts as a love languagecan be a cop out because… Maybe I shouldn’t say cop out, but it can be a wayof expressing your love when you’re not comfortable with the other ways. Whenyou’re not comfortable saying it or physically showing it. It’s a little bitmore of a distant, at arms length way of showing love. Do you follow [crosstalk00:19:22] thing at all?Diane: I absolutely do. I mean, I thinkthat there are certainly plenty of people, maybe there are grandparents whofeel more comfortable showering their grandchildren with lots of gifts ratherthan saying, “Let’s spend the day together and do a really fun activitythat we’ll both remember forever.” The presence instead of the present asI know you like to talk about. It’s certainly easier to hand somebody anecklace than to just tell them how you feel about them. It’s harder for somepeople than others on the giving end. And certainly if kids have been showeredwith lots of gifts from a young age, they come to expect it. I think that thatis understandable, whether that’s really their love language, I don’t know. Butkids like routine and if their routine in their life is that the people whowere important to them always gave them lots of gifts, that’s how they think theworld works. And if it changes, they think something’s wrong.Denaye: Well first of all, I love theexamples that you all gave, like the stone or the wildflower on their pillow orlittle just natural tokens. More, I would say tokens of your love rather thantoys per se. Because I think that those things are not necessarily being givento light a kid up and to just cause this extreme elation and focus on the item.The focus is more on the act itself and on the person who gave it rather thanon the gift itself. It’s not such a fabulous gift that the kid completelyforgets where it came from or the intent behind it.Diane: And the message is when I saw thislittle dandelion today, it was so bright and cheerful it made me think of you.And you’re so bright and cheerful and I wanted you to have it. So I think thatthe message of I was thinking about you, and I thought this would make youhappy, and make you smile is more important than the actual object.Denaye: Yes, and I think that our kidsappreciate those type of gifts more than we realize.Diane: Yes. They want to think that we’rethinking about that when we’re not together. That’s one of the best things wecould tell them.Denaye: Right, because I think that when wegive gifts, we don’t always give them with connection. And that example thatyou just gave with a dandelion that is giving a gift and giving connection atthe same time. Because you’re showing your feelings through the gift ratherthan just handing over this wrapped gift and the kid runs away with it.Diane: My parents just celebrated a verybig anniversary and they really don’t need any gift at all. They haveeverything that they need at this point in their life. And I was feeling like Ishould get them a gift. It was a big anniversary. And then I said, “Youknow what? I’m going to really write them a beautiful letter and tell them allthe reasons why I love them, and what a great influence they’ve been on me, andwhat their marriage has meant to me and my life.” This overlaps with thelove language of words of affirmation and telling someone how you love them.But I had an instinct that that would mean the most to my parents and I wasabsolutely right. It really was received in the spirit that I gave it. And sothat was really a nice moment for us recently.Denaye: Yeah. Well, let’s talk about thatlove language of saying how you feel. And I think that this can be one of thehardest love languages for adults.Diane: For adults to communicate withother adults or with their children?Denaye: With other adults, I think. Withkids it’s a little bit easier for us to profess our love and to talk about theways that we adore them, but with other adults and even maybe as our kids getolder and get to be teenagers, I don’t… Have you seen that as your kids havegotten older that it’s a little bit harder or a little bit less automatic? Justtalk in loving ways towards them?Diane: Yes, I do. I mean, I think in myfamily, with my younger daughter in particular, it’s very habitual for us tosay I love you when we say good night to each other at the end of the day, orwhen we part. When I leave her in the morning and she says, “I loveyou,” and I say, “I love you.” And I don’t think that it isnecessarily just a reflex, but it’s just, we have always made it part of ourmode of interaction. That transition time is a way to just communicate how wefeel about each other. And there have definitely been times recently when mydaughter was mad at me and she was really grumpy. And yet when she said goodnight to me at the end of the evening and she said, “Sleep well, I loveyou,” I really didn’t think it was a habit. I really think it was her wayof using that routine as a way to apologize for the fact that she’d beendifficult and circle back.Diane: I don’t think that parents need tofeel that they have to feel pressure to come up with a new and better, morearticulate way to express their love in words every time. And I think that someof the same phrases, whether it’s I love you or pet names that you have for eachother, or just familiar interactions, have the same power to kids that theyjust feel like, “Oh, you know, yeah. This is how I talk to my mom.”Denaye: Yeah, and our family, we say ifwe’re frustrated with each other, after the frustration calms down a littlebit. We’ll say to each other, “Sometimes we get frustrated with eachother, but we still love each other.” I think that for me is reallyimportant because I’m communicating to my kids that, yes, I got upset with you.Yes, I got angry with you, but I still love you. And it might seem obvious toadults, but our kids, especially when they’re young, they think in very blackor white.Denaye: So if you ever have had a kid thatsays, “Oh, why do you hate me?” or things like that, it could bebecause they have this black or white thinking still. And when you’re angrywith them, they automatically think you don’t like them or you don’t love them.It’s hard for them to see you being angry and still see you as a loving person,to see that simultaneously. I think that that’s my intent behind thatexpression, that sometimes we get angry with each other. Sometimes we getfrustrated with each other, but we still love each other. It’s a way of notnecessarily apologizing for my feelings because I don’t think that we alwayshave to apologize when we get angry, but at acknowledging, yes, I got angry andyes, I still love you. We’re still good. That peace offering.Diane: You mentioned teenagers and Ithink that it certainly gets more difficult because you’re not necessarilyhearing loving words as much from your teenager anymore. But they’re verysensitive to what seems sappy. They’ll roll their eyes if you say something tothem that you may have felt comfortable saying to your younger child sometimes.But even when it seems like they’re not loving you in the moment or they’reannoyed with you, or you don’t think they really want to be with you, theystill really do. You just have to remind yourself of that. Even if it’s harderfor them to tell you as they get older, they still want you around. They stilllove you, they still care what you think.Denaye: And even if they’re rolling theireyes, they actually probably do secretly like it. Let’s talk about the fourthlove language, which is acts of service.Diane: Acts of service, there are certainkids who particularly enjoy a thoughtful gesture, something that you go out ofyour way to do that just seems just really nice and something that you’rechoosing to do because you know what makes them happy. And I think that a lotof parents struggle with this notion because we feel like our kids’ servants alot of the time anyway, right? That we’re constantly in positions where wecould be doing things for them. And I know that you feel strongly that we wantto be raising our kids to be independent, capable individuals and that it’s atrap to continue to do things for them. So I think that with this love languageof acts of service, it’s really more a question of small, thoughtful gestures.Diane: Like it’s cold and I’m going totake your sweatshirt and I’m going to stick it in the dryer for 10 minutes sothat when you put it on, it’s warm. I make heart-shaped pancakes for mydaughter for breakfast on most mornings. So little small things that show yourchild that yes, even though you know that they are an increasingly big kid whocan do things for themselves, but you want to make their life a little biteasier sometimes because you love them.Denaye: Yes. And there’s a famous MariaMontessori quote that says, “Never do for a child what he or she can dofor themself.” I think it’s a great quote, but I also don’t abide by it100% of the time or even close to 100% of the time. Because I think that thereare things that my kids can do that are still hard for them to do. My daughter hassome shoes that are tricky for her to put on. She can put them on, but it’s astruggle and if she’s extra tired, she might need a helping hand and I’m happyto say, “Okay, you put one on and I’ll put one on,” and try to meetin the middle. I don’t think just because a child can do all these thingsthemselves means that we are off the hook. Like, “All right, that’s nolonger part of my responsibility.” I think we can still step in and dothings for our kids and I don’t think we’re doing a disservice to them.Diane: I would agree. I would agree. Andcertainly helping a child learn how to do a particular skill that’s tougher forthem to master and being patient with your child as they are learning how to dosomething and not getting frustrated is another act of service. My 14 year olddaughter literally is just learning how to swallow a pill. She’s had a reallyhard time with it over the years and just last night she swallowed a pretty bigIbuprofen by herself. I was so happy for her and it really… I can’t tell youhow many times we’ve just talked through different strategies and differentways that she could do it and make it easy for her.Diane: We don’t need to analyze mydaughter’s swallowing technique, but the patience of helping her learn how todo it herself and that’s something I can’t do for her. The only thing I can dois say, “Okay, we’ll buy you the chewable pills or you can still take theliquid.” I can’t swallow it for her, but sticking with her and not gettingfrustrated and making her feel that a kid your age should be able to do this byherself by now was an act of service to her.Denaye: That’s tricky. It is because I meanshe obviously had anxiety around swallowing the pill, it made her anxious. Theidea of this big thing going down her throat, understandably. And if youwould’ve said like, “Just do it. You’re old enough to do it.” Or ifyou would have approached it like that, it would have just added to theanxiety. I think that sometimes that’s our inclination as parents is to justhave these expectations and to just preach them at our kids and to not realizethat sometimes we’re doing more harm than good.Diane: Right. No, I mean it doesn’tmatter really if most kids can do something at a particular age. If your kidcan’t, then you just have to meet her where she is and not make her feelashamed that she’s not on par with everybody else.Denaye: Yes, I completely agree with that.The fifth love language is the love language of wanting to spend time together.Diane: Right. Dr. Chapman calls itquality time and these kids are the ones who will constantly say, “Comehere, I got to show you something. Look at me do a cartwheel.” They aretrying to get our attention and want to show us things. I think that is often asign that they really want to feel like they have our undivided attention. Andparticularly now when we have electronic devices that are pinging at us andcalling to us all the time, that kids are aware of the fact that our attentionis divided more than it should be. And they really want us to put our phonedown and not do anything else other than give them, even if it’s two minutes orfive minutes of undivided attention. Yes, I want to see the feedback yourteacher gave you, or I want to see you do a somersault or whatever it is thatour kid wants to show us.Denaye: You’ve been a full time working momyour entire parenthood. So do you think that this is tricky for full timeworking parents to be able to fit in this quality time?Diane: Sure. It is tricky. I mean we haveless total number of hours to be together. But I think that my strategy,honestly in life in general, has just been to get up a little earlier. Therearen’t that many problems I haven’t been able to solve by getting up earlier.That if I give myself a little extra time in the morning to do everything thatI need to do for myself for example, by the time my kids are awake, I can focusmore on being there for them in the way that they need me. Obviously I’m notdoing everything for them, but I think as a working parent you can be strategicin terms of carving out the time that you need to do your own stuff so thatyou’re not trying to do everything at once.Denaye: Right. And sometimes it’s qualityover quantity when it comes to time. It’s hard to put your phone away and tojust focus on being with your kids. But if you don’t have hours and hourseveryday to do it, making those small windows of time can be really impactful.Diane: I’ve heard people talk about thefact if you have 10 great minutes with your kid once a day, that’s powerful,right. They’ll remember what you did in those 10 minutes rather than two hoursof running back and forth in the same home and not really paying attention towhat the other person is doing and parallel playing. If you can say, “Ihave 10 minutes, what do you want to do together? Just you and me rightnow.” And that’s meaningful.Denaye: Right, or just even stopping andlooking them in the eye at the end of the day and asking them how their day wasand just little bits of connection can go so far. I don’t think we need to putpressure on ourselves to be there or be present with them all the time.Diane: My older daughter and I used to goout for Chinese food every Friday night, the two of us. I have a blended familyand I got remarried when she was 10 years old. So she had a new stepfather andwe had a routine that we had dinner together once a week, just the two of us.And it really meant a lot to her. She didn’t have to share me with him anymoreon that one night and we did it for many years and it made a big difference forher I think.Denaye: Oh, I love that. And it’s just thoselittle, little bits of time that we prioritize I think can be really powerful.Denaye: Looking at all these love languages,it makes me wonder if anyone’s out there is listening, thinking I need tofigure out my kids’ love languages. Put this on my list of a million thingsthat I have to do. Figure out their love language, make sure that I’m cateringto their love language. Do you think that this is something that needs to bedone really intentionally or we may be already doing some of it?Diane: I don’t think it has to be on yourto do list. I think that having it in the back of your mind can just help youhave some aha moments in your everyday life that perhaps you might notordinarily have had. And if you just notice patterns in the way your child isacting, just like we’re always looking for patterns in various things. Ifyou’re trying to figure out, I don’t know, why while your kid is itching hiseyes. I mean a lot of what parents do are trying to piece together clues thattell us certain things about our children. I think that this is just adifferent lens through which to see your child’s behavior.Diane: For some people it will be veryobvious and they’re like, “Oh my goodness, that’s what he’s trying to tellme.” And for other parents it may not resonate as much and that’s okay. Ican’t really pinpoint my older daughter’s love language as clearly as I can myyounger daughter’s. And that’s okay.Denaye: Yeah, and I think one of thepowerful things that can come from this is this idea that we can really parenteach child differently and actually we sometimes need to parent each childdifferently in order to meet their needs.Diane: Definitely, definitely. And Ithink that that’s true in so many ways beyond love languages and that we don’tneed to treat our kids equally. We just need to treat them fairly. Not fairly,but that we need to give each child what he or she needs at that time.Denaye: Right. Because we can spend a lot oftime and energy trying to be fair and trying to be equitable and no matter howmuch we try to do that, the way that our children perceive that fairness andequality is never going to be fair and equal. So instead of trying to spend ourtime and energy being fair and equal, if we just spend our time and energytrying to meet the needs of our children individually, I think we’ll probablyget a lot farther.Denaye: Well, this has been great chattingtoday, Diane. Thank you so much.Diane: Thank you so much for having me.This has been really fun, time flew by.Denaye: I know Parents Magazine you can geton the newsstands, you can get it online. You have a Facebook group too, right?Diane: We do. We have a Parents in RealLife Facebook page. We have a regular Facebook page on Parent’s Facebook, butwe have a special group called Parents IRL and you have to request to join. Butwe would love to have you. We are happy to have anyone who just confirms for usthat they are actually a parent of young children. It’s really a communitywhere there’s a lot more interaction, not only with each other, but also theeditors of the magazine. We go on to the IRL page and talk about articles thatwe’re working on and want feedback from other moms and dads about the issuesthat they’re struggling with so that we can cover the issues that they careabout.Denaye: Great. All right, well I’ll putthose links in the show notes and I’ll put the link to this article in the shownotes too.Diane: Excellent.Denaye: Great. Great. Well, thank you somuch, Diane.Diane: Thank you. Have a great day.Denaye: You too. Bye.The post SFP 167: The Love Languages + Children [with Diane Debrovner of Parents Magazine] appeared first on Simple Families.
Rank #2: SFP 79: SPECIAL EPISODE: How can I reduce the mental load?. The mental load in motherhood is overwhelming. In today’s special episode, we are discussing why this matters and what we can do about it. Denaye also introduces a simple, 4-step plan to begin peeling back the layers. Want to starting unpacking the mental load together, join us! The post SFP 79: SPECIAL EPISODE: How can I reduce the mental load? appeared first on Simple Families.
Rank #1: Listener Question: Hyperactivity, ADHD, or Bad Behavior. Listener Question: Hyperactivity, ADHD, or Bad Behavior. A mom wants to know how to tell the difference between hyperactivity and ADHD and if her child is simply behaving badly.
Rank #2: What Are Boys Made Of? . What Are Boys Made of? Michael Gurian and Tim Wright turn their attention to boys and some high level insights into what makes your son tick.
Rank #1: A Mother's Influence on Her Son, Part 1. You may feel like you don't have a lot to offer your son as a mom but that couldn't be farther from the truth. Featuring Dr. Kevin Leman. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/parentingpodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY Podcast users, find today's related broadcast resources here: https://dbx.focusonthefamily.com/media/focus-on-parenting-podcast/a-mothers-influence-on-her-son-pt1
Rank #2: Helping Your Daughter Become a Confident Woman, Part 1. Father-daughter relationships can be very different than father-son relationships. Danny and John chat about how fathers can be protective of their daughters and make them feel special. Featuring Dr. Meg Meeker Podcast users, find today's related broadcast resources here: https://dbx.focusonthefamily.com/media/focus-on-parenting-podcast/helping-your-daughter-become-a-confident-woman-pt1
Rank #1: More Than Mom: Fall!. It's officially fall, no matter what kind of whether you're enjoying. Meagan and Sarah chat fall décor, fall wardrobes, experiencing fall in different parts of the country, and more in this More Than Mom episode of The Mom Hour. Join us! The post More Than Mom: Fall! appeared first on The Mom Hour.
Rank #2: More Than Mom: Clutter. Cupboards, cabinets, closets, and drawers: Meagan and Sarah are opening up and confessing what’s working and what isn’t when it comes to clutter and our homes. Join us for another fun More Than Mom episode of The Mom Hour! Patreon Our Patreon community is thriving! Become a patron (that’s a fancy way of saying you The post More Than Mom: Clutter appeared first on The Mom Hour.
Rank #1: Tools For Toddler Tantrums. Among the biggest challenges we face with toddlers is the dreaded tantrum. Why do tantrums happen and what can we do when they happen? Joe and Anea offer tips you can use that will help you in the moment and can actually give your kids tools for life. For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy
Rank #2: Spoiled Today, Spoiled For Life. Have you set a pattern of constantly giving your kids everything they ask for? Are you always at their beck and call? As it turns out, research tells us that we are limiting our kids' healthy development when we make them dependent on our constant attention AND giving them too much stuff. Take a listen as Joe and Anea discuss how to give our kids what they need rather than everything they want and help them become healthy, whole humans in the process. For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy
Rank #1: Eps 154: Dr. Dan Siegel Discussing the Science of Being Present. Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves... ::: Become a Joyful Courage PATRON! You can now find Joyful Courage at http://www.patreon.com/joyfulcourage and make a contribution to the show that you love! This is a opportunity for you to sign up to make a monthly financial commitment and support the sustainability of the podcast. ::: Today’s guest is Doctor Dan Siegel. Dan is a clinical professor of Psychiatry at the UCLA school of Medicine and the founding co-director of the Mindful Awareness Research Centre at UCLA. He is also the Executive Director of the Mindsight Institute which focuses on the development of Mindsight, teaches insight, empathy and integration in individuals, families and communities. Dr. Siegel has published extensively for the professional and lay audiences. We are discussing his new book: Aware: The Science and Practice of Presence. Join us! "The most important gift we can give our kids is showing up with our mental presence, not just physically being present but to have the state of awareness and open to who they actually are." "Presence is a state of perceptive awareness." "Information is transformation." "You have the ability to cultivate the presence of mind through these very simple and accessible practices that are going to bring health to your body, slow the aging process, reduce stress, all these positive things and the same exact process, developing your hub of your wheel of awareness, presence, can actually deeply enrich the way your child is soaking in his or her relationship with you and developing this experience of being seen, of being soothed, of being safe, of being secure that research shows is exactly what your child needs to optimize how they go out into life, and that's something you're empowered to create." What you’ll hear in this episode: -The wheel of awareness - what it is and how it helps -How awareness impacts your body and health -How being present impacts the speed of the aging process -Wellbeing and how it is enhanced by being present -Relationships with your kids and how being present improves it -Cultivating awareness -Role modelling resilience -How awareness feeds connection vs control -Impacts of a lack of structure on the brain and future of children -Authoritative parenting vs Authoritarian parenting -Why we need the village and how that creates stress for contemporary parents -Finding joy, tranquility and connection through expanding awareness -Flipping our lid, learning from our body's signals and how awareness can help -Monitoring and modifying for self-regulation and to improve responses to stress -The 3 O's what they mean What does Joyful Courage mean to you? Joyful Courage, to me, means having the presence of mind to dive into this receptive state of awareness, this hub of the wheel, to tap into the power of being connected with whatever arises inside of you, this kind of "bring it on" attitude, that's the courage. And the joy that arises as you liberate yourself from what a lot of us get imprisoned by which is "I have to control everything" instead, with presence, you let things emerge within you and then you let integration, connecting with your child, for example, in ways that are filled with love and connection that is honoring who your child is, honoring yourself too, but then linking together with compassionate, close relationships. That's what I think joyful courage and courageous joy is all about. Resources: Mind, A Journey To The Heart of Being Human Brainstorm, The Power and purpose of the teenage brain The Whole Brain Child No Drama Discipline The Yes Brain Aware: The Science and Practice of Presence The Telomere Effect by Elizabeth Blackburn Where to find Dr. Siegel: Facebook Twitter Youtube Instagram LinkedIn Website Mindsight Institute UCLA Mindful Research Centre ::: Living Joyful Courage MEMBERSHIP PROGRAM I would love LOVE to have you in the membership. It’s some good learning and community – EXACTLY what you need to transform the climate of your home. Check it out à www.joyfulcourage.com/living-jc ::: Mother’s Journey Home to Herself Overland Park, KS October 26th - 28th, 2018 Many of us become mothers and we get caught tending needs of our family, or homes and our community, and struggle to find ways to move our personal growth and wellbeing up the priority list. This weekend retreat will allow you the opportunity to explore self-care rituals that will help you reset and feel renewed, and give you nurturing tools you can incorporate into your daily life far beyond our time together – so that you can feel more ease, peace, connection and joy in the every day. A Mother’s Journey Home to Herself is an invitation for deep personal inquiry, while practicing tools for deepening relationship with ourselves and our family, resulting in more cooperation and ease and joy during this exceptionally time of our lives. EARLY BIRD PRICE THROUGH the end of August! Find out more and regiter now à http://www.joyfulcourage.com/mjweekend/ ::: All the goods at www.joyfulcourage.com/yes Intention Bracelets Back by popular demand!! The Joyful Courage intention bracelets are back in stock and I am THRILLED to have been able to have had the community vote on the reminders that are on them…. Breathe, Pause, Trust, Surrender, Kindness – what do you need? DAILY INTENTION CARDS What do you think about the Daily Intention Cards??? These cards are designed to support you in your conscious, intentional parenting practice. ::::: Be a Subscriber Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!! CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!
Rank #2: Summer Series: Eps 198, Grounding Ourselves with Kerry Foreman. Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey AUDIOBOOK will be available just in time for the Back to school season – it’s summer now, but soon we will all be looking at the transitions that come with fall. I am confident that the Joyful Courage audiobook will be a supportive companion as you ride it out with your kids – full of stories and tools that will connect you with self and others, the audiobook will be something you can listen to over and over and over again. Keep staying tuned in for details as we get closer to launch day!! Follow Joyful Coruage on FB and IG, and sign up for my weekly newsletter at www.joyfulcourage.com/join :::: Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves... :::: Hey friends! Welcome back to Joyful Courage – a conscious parenting podcast, where we get real and raw about the parenting journey. You have tuned in to another SUMMER SERIES EPISODE!! This week I am super excited to bring back my conversation from TWO YEARS AGO, Episode 98, with Kerry Foreman. I am THRILLED to be sharing this conversation with you. Kerry is someone that I follow on Instagram and am continuously inspired by how she shows up in the world. Kerry has an online program for teens that is based in mindfulness. It is a 4 week research based course will allow your teen to develop beginning mindfulness skills and cultivate a mindfulness practice that will reduce stress and improve their mental health. Your teen will become empowered to take control of their well being, become more aware of thoughts and behaviors leading to higher accountability, increase their self esteem, and find an inner happiness not attached to anything external. Kerry Foreman is a Registered Psychotherapist, with her Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. She is passionate about Mindfulness and has been practicing and teaching for 4 years. Kerry lives in Monument, Colorado with her patient husband, a teenager, a tween and two rescue dogs, Norman and Fern. Through using Mindfulness to increase her self awareness, she realized that during her childhood she had learned and practiced faulty coping skills. She targeted them one by one, and slowly changed the cycles of her family, learned new behaviors, and worked to create new, positive habits for life. She did this in order to have a successful marriage and to be the kind of Mom she wanted to be. She is passionate about her ability to create change. Change your thinking and it changes your life. What you’ll hear in this episode: Recognition of FOO (Family of Origin) patterns and the call to make changes Psychological/verbal/emotional abuse trains us react rather than respond Noticing patterns such as shame, guilt and anger – where do they originate? Becoming a parent can bring these to the surface. How do we recognize where we need to change? Learning to respond instead if react Understand and reflect on our own parents’ experience Creating change and becoming aware of our own inner state of being Mindfulness practice influences the shift into better relationships How do we become grounded in order to stay balanced and present in mind no matter what is happening around us? Where control plays a role in mindfulness and the contrast in anxiety What do we chose to believe – what is the story we play in our minds? Self talk of being a victim – recognizing the language Expectations of others and how to stay mindful and in control while at the same time releasing what we are not in control of. What does Joyful Courage mean to me? “Joyful Courage is finding the joy in being brave enough to parent differently. Finding a new path in order to allow our kids to be who they were meant to be.” Where to find Kerry: YouTube l Facebook l Twitter l BLOG ::::: Upcoming Programs from Joyful Courage Hey all, just reminding you that I am getting ready for the fall. I have decided to RE-RELEASE the Parenting Teens with Positive Discipline Audio Summit in September, and then follow it with TWO Academy tracks in October – one for the 12-14ish crowd, and another for the parents of 15-18+ kids. The summit is 15 interviews released over the course of a week. You have access during that week to listen. You also will have the option to purchase the interviews if you would like unlimited access. The Joyful Courage Academy is a FIVE WEEK course is a learning opportunity for parents of teens that includes content, community and a powerful one on one call with me. I am so excited!!! Make sure that you are all signed up for my newsletter so that you get all the info about how to sign up!! www.joyfulcourage.com/join ::::: And don’t forget there are lots of powerful convos happening over in the Live and Love with Joyful Courage and the Joyful Courage Parents of Teens group on FB – ask to join! ::::: GET THE BOOK! Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. THE BOOK IS READY FOR YOU TO BUY– Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already. Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!! I appreciate you!!!! ::::: Be a Subscriber Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!! CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!
Rank #1: PSP 129: Putting the Spotlight on Childhood Moral & Harm OCD with Aaron Harvey. This podcast is for educational purposes only and should not replace medical advice. * To learn more about the great work Aaron Harvey is doing, visit www.intrusivethoughts.org and www.madeofmillions.com * To read the show notes go to www.atparentingsurvival.com/podcast * Interested in my AT Parenting Community Membership? Click below to join us! http://www.atparentingcommunity.com Sign up for my weekly email newsletter: https://pages.convertkit.com/740ba8cd83/92109b7172 To sign up for my online class on How to Crush Social Anxiety (for Adults & Kids 10 and Up): http://anxioustoddlers.teachable.com/p/crush-social-anxiety To sign up for my online class: Parenting Kids with OCD http://anxioustoddlers.teachable.com/p/child-ocd To sign up for my online class: Crush Moral OCD in Kids http://anxioustoddlers.teachable.com/p/moral-ocd To sign up for my online class: Teaching Kids to Crush Anxiety http://anxioustoddlers.teachable.com/p/crush-anxiety Ultimate list of helpful anxiety products: https://www.anxioustoddlers.com/reduce-child-anxiety/ For more parenting support visit: http://www.anxioustoddlers.com To join my private Facebook group visit: https://www.facebook.com/groups/ATparentinganxiouskids/ For AT Parenting Online Classes visit: http://anxioustoddlers.teachable.com For my anxiety books visit: https://www.amazon.com/Natasha-Daniels/e/B011K5IIWA Join the fun on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/anxioustoddlers78 Other social places I hang out: http://www.facebook.com/anxioustoddlers http://www.pinterest.com/anxioustoddlers http://www.twitter.com/anxioustoddlers http://www.instagram.com/anxioustoddlers
Rank #2: PSP 128: Learn How Hormones Can Play a Role in Parental Anxiety. Do you suffer from some parental anxiety? Have you gotten more anxious as you’ve gotten older? Do you attribute it to the chaos and stress you experience raising kids with anxiety or OCD? Well, you might be missing one key culprit…hormones! As women we start to have hormonal changes as early as our mid-thirties. And with those changes can come, fatigue, weight gain, irritability and….you guessed it, anxiety. This topic is not in my wheelhouse, so I invited Hilary Rank, a Health and Wellness Coach and the creator of the Balance Effect Method, to break it down for us. She talks about how these hormonal shifts work and what we can do to reduce the symptoms that come with it. Hilary Rank is a Health & Wellness Coach for women over 40 and creator of the Balanced Effect Method. She helps women get out of the “Frustrated and Frumpy Over 40 Trap” which leaves them feeling confused about what diet or program to follow, down on themselves, starving and hopeless to Fit & Fabulous so they will start looking, thinking and feeling happy, healthy and sexy. You can sign up for her free Balanced Effect Training right here: http://bit.ly/balancedeffectmethod You can also find Hilary at: https://healthybyhilary.com/ Join her Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/newevolutionofhealthyover40/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healthybyhilary/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/healthybyhilary *** This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be used to replace the guidance of a qualified professional. Interested in my AT Parenting Community Membership? Click below to join us! http://www.atparentingcommunity.com Sign up for my weekly email newsletter: https://pages.convertkit.com/740ba8cd83/92109b7172 To sign up for my online class on How to Crush Social Anxiety (for Adults & Kids 10 and Up): http://anxioustoddlers.teachable.com/p/crush-social-anxiety To sign up for my online class: Parenting Kids with OCD http://anxioustoddlers.teachable.com/p/child-ocd To sign up for my online class: Crush Moral OCD in Kids http://anxioustoddlers.teachable.com/p/moral-ocd To sign up for my online class: Teaching Kids to Crush Anxiety http://anxioustoddlers.teachable.com/p/crush-anxiety Ultimate list of helpful anxiety products: https://www.anxioustoddlers.com/reduce-child-anxiety/ For more parenting support visit: http://www.anxioustoddlers.com To join my private Facebook group visit: https://www.facebook.com/groups/ATparentinganxiouskids/ For AT Parenting Online Classes visit: http://anxioustoddlers.teachable.com For my anxiety books visit: https://www.amazon.com/Natasha-Daniels/e/B011K5IIWA Join the fun on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/anxioustoddlers78 Other social places I hang out: http://www.facebook.com/anxioustoddlers http://www.pinterest.com/anxioustoddlers http://www.twitter.com/anxioustoddlers http://www.instagram.com/anxioustoddlers