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Comedy
TV & Film

Xena Warrior Business

Updated 4 days ago

Comedy
TV & Film
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A mighty podcast forged in the heat of conversation. Xena Warrior Princess fans Chris Sims and Allison Stock are joined by delightful guests every other week to watch every episode of the iconic nineties show and analyze what made it so endearing. They also discuss just what, exactly, about Xena makes her a princess. The power, the passion, the danger... this podcast will change the world.

Read more

A mighty podcast forged in the heat of conversation. Xena Warrior Princess fans Chris Sims and Allison Stock are joined by delightful guests every other week to watch every episode of the iconic nineties show and analyze what made it so endearing. They also discuss just what, exactly, about Xena makes her a princess. The power, the passion, the danger... this podcast will change the world.

iTunes Ratings

55 Ratings
Average Ratings
52
0
2
0
1

Somehow stretch a 43 min episode to 1.5 hours and it totally rocks!

By kruegerjj - Jul 19 2018
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So great to have such fun commentary on something that was so important to me growing up!

It's so good, you guys.

By Showtime Eric - Mar 08 2017
Read more
This podcast is so good, you guys. It's just so good.

iTunes Ratings

55 Ratings
Average Ratings
52
0
2
0
1

Somehow stretch a 43 min episode to 1.5 hours and it totally rocks!

By kruegerjj - Jul 19 2018
Read more
So great to have such fun commentary on something that was so important to me growing up!

It's so good, you guys.

By Showtime Eric - Mar 08 2017
Read more
This podcast is so good, you guys. It's just so good.
Cover image of Xena Warrior Business

Xena Warrior Business

Updated 4 days ago

Read more

A mighty podcast forged in the heat of conversation. Xena Warrior Princess fans Chris Sims and Allison Stock are joined by delightful guests every other week to watch every episode of the iconic nineties show and analyze what made it so endearing. They also discuss just what, exactly, about Xena makes her a princess. The power, the passion, the danger... this podcast will change the world.

Rank #1: S3E11 - Hope Floats

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After a slew of wacky hijinks episodes with zany fun and kooky jokes, it's time to get sad. Xena takes us back to uncanny valley, aka centaur hell, and not even Callisto can make this better. The Dan Scroll is bleak, the episode itself is bleak, and, spoiler alert, Ally cries in this one. What a way to spend Chris's birthday!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Aug 16 2019

1hr 14mins

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Rank #2: S2E15 - Hottest Warrior in the Butt-Kicking Biz

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From fangirl to beloved wife, Gabrielle has gone through a considerable glow-up. This Valentine's Day episode does exactly what it says on the tin, documenting just a normal day in the life of living with a living legent, aka, domestic bliss with Xena and Gabrielle, two married wives who love each other. Special guest Ally Brinken (@AllyBrinken) returns as we ask if it's really possible to cook with Xena's juices and make fun of Gabrielle's very obvious praise kink. Pour one out for Gabrielle's frying pan, though. We'll be talking about Season 2, Episode 15 of Xena Warrior Princess: A Day in the Life, which is arguably one of the best episodes of the entire show!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Jul 24 2018

1hr 25mins

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Rank #3: Episode 02 - Xena Warrior Christmas

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Chris and Allison have traveled to Xena's FUTURE!!! That is, to Season 2, episode 9: A Solstice Carol. Listen, if Xena: Warrior Princess the SHOW can travel through time (spoiler alert: it does. a lot.) then so can Xena Warrior Business the PODCAST. Continuity will have to wait, because Solstice night is almost here!! The show runners didn't know how long they had left, so they decided to cram not one not two but FOUR CHRISTMAS STORIES into one episode!! Put a chakram on your tree because it's snowing in New Zealand! Listen in as we’re joined by special guest Tana Ford (@tanaford) to talk about what it was like to watch Xena while growing into your adolescence.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Dec 20 2016

1hr 39mins

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Rank #4: Episode 03 - Heterosexual Warrior Princess

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Chris and Allison are back on track with Xena Warrior Princess episode 2: Chariots of War, an episode that contains no war and barely any chariots. Also, it's really....... straight. Straight as an arrow. Heterosexual to the max. It's weird. Listen in as we’re joined by special guest Erin Hunter (@peachkinn) to talk about this very, very hetero episode.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Jan 03 2017

1hr 36mins

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Rank #5: Episode 04 - DangerousBreasts.wav

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Were you ever confused about the definition of a breast dagger and/or the appropriate time to use one? Have you ever been wracked with guilt over the lasting damage caused by throwing a rock into a river? Have you ever wondered if facing off against your evil past-self would mean actually fighting yourself or just your own stunt double? Have you ever needed to report a dead highwayman, but just didn't know how? Did you ever want to know just how historically accurate Xena Warrior Princess was? Well, Chris and Allison are joined by special guest Dan Cassino (@dancassino) to answer these questions and many more on this latest episode of Xena Warrior Business, which focuses on Xena Warrior princess episode 3: Dreamworker.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Jan 17 2017

1hr 46mins

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Rank #6: S3E0 - The Gods Are Wildly Impotent!

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Happy new year!! Chris and Ally are back and starting 2019 off strong! Special guest James D’Amato (@OneShotRPG), having somehow managed to actually watch the film, joins to talk about Hercules and Xena - The Animated Movie: The Battle for Mount Olympus, an film with incomprehensible stakes and a plot that could have been been solved with a single conversation. Some points brought up include the Jack Kirby-reminiscent character designs, Hanna-Barbera nostalgia, line weights(!!!!!), and the fact that Hercules doesn’t vote.

We are also joined by a stock photo of a smiling Chinese woman watching TV.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Jan 29 2019

1hr 49mins

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Rank #7: Episode 14 - Many Wicker Lawnchairs Gave Their Lives

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This week on Captive Princeness (that's Prince Business, not Princess), Chris Sims, the Prince of Podcasting, is stripped of his title, left for dead, and sent to cohost a Xena podcast with Allison Stock, the small, angry, blonde one. Actually, it's another lackluster season 1 episode of Xena. This episode has everything! Facts about comic book writers writing for 90s TV! The return of sounds courtesy of Tom's Xena Page! And let's face it, the moment you've all been waiting for: THE RETURN OF PERDICAS A.K.A. GREG!!!!!! We are also joined by self proclaimed Season 1 apologist Steve Gaulin (@ehsteve88)!!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Jun 06 2017

1hr 40mins

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Rank #8: Episode 19 - Telling the Rocks her Secret Ways

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He wears green, he steals things, he's Robin Hood with a Greek name: AUTOLYCUS IS HERE! Lovingly portrayed by Bruce Campbell, the King of thieves breathes life into this wonderful episode with his first appearance on Xena Warrior Princess. Bonus points go to our special guest, Chad Bowers (@ChadBowers), who had two sleeping children and still managed to yodel at least six times for us. This episode contains a really good villain, a deep dive into how people got in touch before phones were invented, Allison discovering what innuendo is, lots of dumpy hats, and a dude getting lightsaber'd through the chest with a fireball. It's Season 1 Episode 17 of Xena: The Royal Couple of Thieves, and by the way, did Xena invent rock candy?

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Aug 15 2017

1hr 34mins

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Rank #9: Episode 24 - Callisto's Discount Ladder Emporium

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WELP. It's official. This show is officially good. Three killer episodes IN! A! ROW! Finally, we get a watershed moment for Xena coming to terms with her guilt over her [kiwi accent] dark past [/kiwi accent]. Finally, we get... CALLISTO. Chris and Ally (Yes, you read that right - Chris is back!) are joined by special guest Alastair Stephens (@paperbullets) to discuss ladders and why we need them, opposition and why it is a powerful theme, and farm jail. Oh, and Joxer shows up, too!

STAY TUNED at the end of the episode for a brand new ORIGINAL SONG recapping the episode, written and performed by Allison Stock.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Nov 01 2017

1hr 47mins

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Rank #10: Episode 23 - The Great Carbonated Xena Round Table! Xena Warrior Podcast Business!

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So I heard you liked Xena podcasts, so we took your Xena podcast and we put a Xena podcast on your Xena podcast. That's right, Allison is joined by Katie, Livy and Vera from XENA WARRIOR PODCAST!!! Two podcasts, both alike in dignity, in fair New Greeceland where we lay our scene. Both Xena Warrior Business and Xena Warrior Podcast started at around the same time, and we felt it was appropriate for our powers to combine for this 

In the immortal words of Stefon: this podcast has got EVERYTHING: laughter! lord seltzer! swapping bodies with a chicken! tobias menzies! all 3 different hair colors on gabrielle! cheekbones! mystery abs! xena's first time dying on screen! a new underdress for xena! did we mention LORD SELTZER!!! It's a CAN'T MISS episode for anyone who's ever wanted to listen to a Xena podcast but weren't sure where to start. But whatever you do, don't forget: XENA DID IT FIRST!

Katie (@katetocci), Vera (@hollywoodgrrl) and Livy (@ponderouslivy) run a Xena podcast of their own (@XenaWarriorPod). Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Oct 17 2017

1hr 37mins

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Rank #11: S2E17 - Cause of Death: JUSTICE

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This is Lucy Lawless's first episode of THE ENTIRE SEASON where she's back in fighting form, and special guest Amanda Meadows (@amandonium) joins us to celebrate the occasion. This episode brings back Gabby's old friend Meleager, but it also brings up a ton of timeline inconsistencies. When Meleager is sentenced to death by a messy bitch who lives for the drama aka a reputably fair judge, Xena and Gabrielle are faced with a dilemma. Gabrielle, who can see the good in people, is convinced that Meleager is innocent. However, Xena has Seen Some Shit, and is torn between trusting her instincts and trusting her friend.

CW: this episode includes some talk about alcoholism/addiction.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Sep 05 2018

1hr 33mins

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Rank #12: S2E12 - 600 Years of Karl Urban

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There's a ton of firsts in this episode! The first time Xena was crucified, the first time Xena DIES and THE FIRST TIME XENA USED THE PINCH!! It also marks the first appearance of baby Karl Urban's 2nd role on the show... Julius Caesar! Special guest Shannon Manor (@shannonmanor) joins us to watch this fever dream unfold, where the focus turns from mythology to actual history, because apparently Julius Caesar really was ransomed by pirates, who he really did crucify afterwards. Buckle the f**k up, Hades. The ripples of Lucy Lawless's broken pelvis are still felt in this episode, and we are also FINALLY able to pin down exactly when in history Xena Warrior Princess actually takes place!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Jun 12 2018

1hr 22mins

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Rank #13: Episode 18 - Mopey Sadsack Lost His Magic Hat

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Of all the episodes to turn upsettingly horny, Chris didn’t think this was going to be the one. Oh, well. This episode marks a return of Marcus, Xena's road not taken. Xena sees firsthand the repercussions of a life of wickedness, and that her acts of good might not actually be enough to redeem her. Also, Hades has a dog skin helmet of invisibility. We're joined by Annie Craton (@anniezard) of podcasts The Jem Jam and I Will Fight You.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Aug 01 2017

1hr 36mins

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Rank #14: Episode 06 - No Hot Springs Jokes, Please

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We took the road less traveled by...but we just couldn't cut it!! This week, special guest Lucas Brown (@lokified) joins us to talk about The Path Not Taken, aka: 'Gyna on the Roof, aka The Princess Bride But Boring, an episode of Xena Warrior Princess that must have been a spec script that they just... felt like shooting, for some reason.  There's a sex joke in the first minute, though. Also, Allison had to cut about an hour of her ranting about a certain figure skating anime from this episode so as not to give you three hours of content to listen to, oh boy.

Be sure to keep listening after our sign-off for a special segment, courtesy of Lucas Brown. On his podcast, The Math of You, he creates cocktails inspired by his guests. He blessed us with not one but TWO cocktails inspired by the episode of Xena we all discussed together. Recipes are as follows:

The Red-Headed Bard

Sweet, bubbly and always ready for adventure, and befits the Battling Bard of Potidaea.

  • 1/2oz vodka
  • 1/2oz ouzo
  • 1oz creme de cassis
  • 2oz lemon-lime soda

Combine vodka, ouzo and cassis in a shaker of ice and shake vigorously. Strain into a cocktail glass and top up with lemon-lime soda.

B-Side: The Argo

Kicks like a goddamn horse. Keep it handy if you need to blow fire at someone to make them give up.

  • 1oz vodka
  • 1oz brandy
  • 1oz bourbon
  • 1/2oz ouzo
  • 1oz orange juice
  • 2oz lemon-lime soda

Combine orange juice, vodka, brandy, bourbon and ouzo in a shaker of ice and shake vigorously. Strain into a cocktail glass and top up with lemon-lime soda. Consume... carefully.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Feb 14 2017

1hr 47mins

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Rank #15: Episode 12 - Oh, Crumb, Here We Go...

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In their discussion of this very forgettable but actually pretty good episode, Chris mistakes Allison (a library of Alexandria truther) for a flat earther! Anyway... you've grown legendary! Join us to analyze this very roomy dungeon filled with very thirsty bisexuals, where justice is dealt unto those who make rape jokes swiftly and by sword-wielding ninjas. We get to meet some characters from Xena's dark past--actually, no, wait, Xena's rather nice past, actually. Also... what’s up with Gabrielle’s shitty, shitty hat? We're joined by by New Zealand accent aficionado James D’Amato (@OneShotRPG) of Campaign and the One Shot Podcast.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

May 10 2017

1hr 56mins

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Rank #16: S3E2 - Then Put Your Little Hand In Mine

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Hurry up and ditch Ned Ryerson, because we've finally made it to the groundhog day episode of Xena, Warrior Princess! In what is honestly one the best episodes we've seen so far, Been There, Done That finds Xena stuck in a time loop! Will she figure out what's got herreliving the same day over and over again, or will she be doomed to watch Joxer, Gabrielle and even Argo die for the rest of eternity? The episode was written by Hilary J. Bader, who has written in both the Star Trek and the DC Universe, and who is our new favorite person.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Feb 28 2019

1hr 7mins

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Rank #17: S3E5 - Gabrielle's Abs

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In the midst of Passover, Easter AND 4/20, Chris and Ally get together to talk about the midst of Renee O'Connor. That is... Gabrielle's abs! Honestly there is just so much talk about fake baby tummies and real washboard tummies, but only because Dahak is apparently AN ACTUAL REAL LIFE RELIGION AND THIS IS TOO MUCH TO DEAL WITH.

Will something finally come between Xena and Gabrielle? Will Xena break her rule of NOT KILLING THE BABIES? The third Moses story of Xena Warrior Princess TO DATE will answer all these questions and more, as well as give you a birth scene filmed exclusively in dutch angles. Also, please hire Chris and Ally to punch up your scripts. Please. They're so good.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Apr 23 2019

1hr 3mins

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Rank #18: Episode 22 - She's Got Those Leadership Eyes

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In a special Marvel edition of the podcast, Ally is joined by Laura Kammerman (laurizzlek) and Andrea Towers (_atowers), her friends from work! The women of marvel (not sponsored by Women of Marvel) talk about how Xena was challenging gender roles in the nineties, and things get personal when it comes to abandonment, self confidence, and relating to Xena as a strong and powerful woman. You better believe that Xena is more than just a "strong female character" trope on legs. Also, both of this episode's guests have been touched by greatness, as they have met both Hudson Leick (Callisto) and Lucky goddamn Lawless herself. Tune in to hear all the juicy details!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Sep 27 2017

1hr 42mins

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Rank #19: Episode 05 - Powder My Goatee!

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This week, special guest Elisabeth Dubois (@elisedubois) joins us to talk about Cradle of Hope, an episode that is shockingly not about the baby Gabrielle's going to have with a Lovecraftian Elder God in season 3. Uh, spoiler warning, I guess? Instead, we get a half-assed take on the Secret Origin of Moses, with Pandora and her box thrown in for good measure.

Plus, we debut a new segment: "The Dan Scrolls," in which former guest Dan Cassino (@dancassino) tells us all about the actual history and mythology that Xena brushes up against, none of which actually appears in the episode.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Feb 01 2017

1hr 39mins

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Rank #20: S3E1 - THIS is the God Place!

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Persecution or madness? I say, porque no los dos? In the season 3 premier (sort of), Xena gets a bad review and gets burdened with both (although the madness ends up being the real problem, because when is there NOT a bounty on Xena’s head somewhere). With whiplash-inducing tonal shifts, this episode can’t decide whether madness is funny or really scary and sad.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Feb 13 2019

1hr 9mins

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