Cover image of Dear Prudence | Advice on relationships, sex, work, family, and life
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Society & Culture
Sexuality
Health & Fitness

Dear Prudence | Advice on relationships, sex, work, family, and life

Updated 3 days ago

Society & Culture
Sexuality
Health & Fitness
Read more

Advice, commentary, and conversation from Daniel Mallory Ortberg, author of Slate's Dear Prudence column. Every week, Prudie and special guests answer questions about relationships, sex, work, family, and life.

Read more

Advice, commentary, and conversation from Daniel Mallory Ortberg, author of Slate's Dear Prudence column. Every week, Prudie and special guests answer questions about relationships, sex, work, family, and life.

iTunes Ratings

633 Ratings
Average Ratings
463
59
32
29
50

Repititious

By JFavia - Aug 15 2019
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I love podcasts and love advice columns even more. I religiously read Dear Prudence on Slate, so when Dear Sugar with Cheryl Strayed and Where Shall We Begin with Esther Perel had all been played, this seemed like a natural. Unfortunately, there is a lot of back and forth chat between Daniel and the guests, and the discussion of the letters is extremely repetitive. This podcast could be edited down to 40 minutes with no loss in content. I am going back to Supersoul and The Upgrade.

So good!

By a5481 - Apr 05 2019
Read more
I am slowly working my way through all the archives for this show. It’s my favorite, hands down.

iTunes Ratings

633 Ratings
Average Ratings
463
59
32
29
50

Repititious

By JFavia - Aug 15 2019
Read more
I love podcasts and love advice columns even more. I religiously read Dear Prudence on Slate, so when Dear Sugar with Cheryl Strayed and Where Shall We Begin with Esther Perel had all been played, this seemed like a natural. Unfortunately, there is a lot of back and forth chat between Daniel and the guests, and the discussion of the letters is extremely repetitive. This podcast could be edited down to 40 minutes with no loss in content. I am going back to Supersoul and The Upgrade.

So good!

By a5481 - Apr 05 2019
Read more
I am slowly working my way through all the archives for this show. It’s my favorite, hands down.
Cover image of Dear Prudence | Advice on relationships, sex, work, family, and life

Dear Prudence | Advice on relationships, sex, work, family, and life

Updated 3 days ago

Read more

Advice, commentary, and conversation from Daniel Mallory Ortberg, author of Slate's Dear Prudence column. Every week, Prudie and special guests answer questions about relationships, sex, work, family, and life.

Rank #1: Dear Prudence: The “Not Unconditional Love” Edition

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Prudence is joined by hosts of the podcast By the Book: Kristen Meinzer and Jolenta Greenberg. First, how can I talk to my parents about feeling like I’m only acknowledged for academic achievements? Next, advice for an older sister unsure of how to help her brother who is demonstrating worrisome and creepy behavior. I’m keeping my baby, but friends don’t understand - what can I say? And lastly, I know instagram is all about putting your best self first, but I still want my own highlight reel and my partner doesn’t understand. Help! Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod.

Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs
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Feb 06 2018
54 mins
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Rank #2: Too Handsome Fiancé

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Prudence is joined this week by Vanessa Zoltan, a non-denominational chaplain, who co-hosts Harry Potter and the Sacred Text and its spin-off show Women of Harry Potter. She also has a new podcast, Hot and Bothered.

Together they dig into letters about a mother who’s worried that her daughter’s fiancé is too good looking for her, how to handle in-laws who are dramatic in their requests to have you to cover up your leg with scars and missing toes, what to do when you’re too scared to tell your friend (who you have a crush on) that her son may have worms, how to handle a partner who likes to cook large meals, but is grossed out by leftovers.

Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Zoltan discuss a letter writer who’s wondering how to talk to her mom who voted for a politician that was instrumental in the loss of her job, and how to handle a friend who believes you ruined her wedding by sharing your cancer diagnosis. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now.

Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com
Production by Phil Surkis
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Aug 13 2019
1 hour
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Rank #3: Dear Prudence: The "Calculated Incursion On My Workplace" Edition

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Prudence is joined this week by Kayla Whaley, a writer living outside Atlanta with a focus on disability, sexuality, and the body. First, this letter writer has a great job but is feeling anxious about her close friend applying for any available job at the company. Next, this letter writer has been in a long term and long distance relationship where communication is difficult and they sometimes go weeks without talking - is it time to think about moving on? My close friend is experiencing terrible anxiety and texts me throughout the day, but I don’t know how much longer I can provide this kind of support, help! And lastly, a voicemail from a caller who is still feeling hurt from comments a stranger on the street made towards her in passing. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod.
Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Apr 24 2018
58 mins
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Rank #4: DNA Drama

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Prudence is joined this week by Connor Goldsmith, a literary agent at Fuse Literary, specializing in sci-fi/fantasy fiction and a variety of nonfiction subjects.

Together they tackle letters about what to consider when a DNA kit reveals you married your first cousin, what actions to take when you want to see a sister who’s living with parents who exiled you for being gay, how to know if you’re ready to open up a ten year relationship to polyamory, what to consider when your friend with ADHD never returns the support you’ve given him, what to consider before reaching out to a biological sibling you’ve never met.

Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Goldsmith discuss a letter writer who is wondering how to handle accidentally buying a home one block away from a horrible ex, and how to handle a husband who is not at all gracious when your parents give him gifts. Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod.

Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com
Production by Phil Surkis
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Aug 06 2019
1 hour 9 mins
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Rank #5: Coming Out Quandary

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Prudence is joined this week by Daniel Mallory Ortberg, a lover of peanut butter who---WAIT! Prudence is Daniel Mallory Ortberg. Buckle up for this rare solo flight.

Prudie tackles letters about how to come out to your parents while also protecting the privacy of your genderqueer identical twin, how to bring up a complicated history of sexual assault issues to your new boyfriend, how to tamp down a tendency to “over support” your boyfriend’s acting career, what to know about starting a conversation about your inheritance when you’ve never talked about money with your parents before.

Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.
Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com
Production by Phil Surkis
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Aug 20 2019
48 mins
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Rank #6: Dear Prudence: The “Inspector Javert of Office Meatballs” Edition

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Prudence is joined this week by Aria Velasquez, an audience engagement editor at Slate. First up, I’m worried my discussion with my eight year old about me and my husband’s sexual orientation has greatly confused her, please help! Next...my family is struggling after an awful accident in which my father killed a neighbor’s dog and in which my kids blame themselves. I think I may have found “the one” but our interactions with another couple leave us both feeling outrageously jealous… (only for Slate Plus) Following that: my coworker is taking all the communal office food and I’d like to speak up without hurting their feelings, is this possible? And lastly, I’m giving a lot of financial support to one of my granddaughters after a terrible car accident in which she’ll need lifetime medical support, but some of my children and grandchildren are reacting with greed and not empathy and I’m at a loss for how to speak with them. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod.
Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
May 01 2018
50 mins
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Rank #7: Dear Prudence: The “Unnecessary Shame” Edition

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Prudence is joined this week by Assistant Professor of English at UC Berkeley, Grace Lavery. Her first book, “Quaint, Exquisite: Victorian Aesthetics And The Idea Of Japan,” is forthcoming with Princeton University Press in 2019, and she is currently working on a book on the idea of technique. Together they take on letters about what to do when the new skirt you love elicits unwanted reactions from strangers and friends, how to handle the urge to make your mundane tasks at work more titillating, what to do when your pill popping husband  is no longer welcome at family events, how to handle a workplace crush when you also cherish and love your long term relationship, and finally, how to handle parents who show up empty handed to your toddler’s birthday.
Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Grace discuss a letter writer who’s wondering what actions she can take when her husband falsely signed documents for his colleague so that his colleague’s child can attend school in a different district. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod.
Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Phil Surkis
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Sep 18 2018
57 mins
Play

Rank #8: Dear Prudence: The “Expensive Bulk Food-Grazer” Edition

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Prudence is joined this week by Paola Dayanan, a TV-obsessed HR professional from Northern Virginia. First, a letter writer struggles with work after two devastating losses and a manager who doesn’t seem supportive. Next, a concerned letter writer cannot contain their horror as they watch their friend grab handfuls of expensive bulk snacks while walking through the grocery store without paying - is a confrontation looming? Then, a friend group questioned this letter writer’s sexuality and very identity and they’re having trouble coming to terms with it and wondering if the friendship is salvageable. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod.
Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Apr 17 2018
47 mins
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Rank #9: Dear Prudence: The "Affair To Remember" Edition

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This week finds Dear Prudence live on stage at The Soiled Dove Underground in Denver Colorado. Recorded on March 6th, 2019, Prudie was joined by writer Nicole Cliffe, who currently runs Slate’s Care and Feeding advice column, and was Daniel Ortberg’s former partner at The Toast.

Together they dig into letters about what to do when you feel disconnected from your life that actually looks pretty good, how to handle a boyfriend who doesn’t want to commit to being called a “boyfriend”, what to do when your partner’s ex uses their dog as an excuse to stay connected, what actions to take when your husband can’t move past your infidelity from years ago, how to introduce your trans boyfriend to your not so accepting parents, how to deal with a husband who has turned to porn since you giving birth, how to handle your partner’s mom who keeps her distance because you’re “living in sin”. 

Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Nicole discuss a letter writer who is wondering how to decide if she has a future dating a vaccine doubter, as well as questions from the live audience! Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod.

Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com
Production by Phil Surkis
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Mar 26 2019
1 hour 9 mins
Play

Rank #10: The "Sisters!" Edition

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How do you tactfully let your sister know it’s time for deodorant? Or that you hate her dog? And how do you protect your sister from your overbearing parents? This week, Mallory Ortberg and guest Jasmine Guillory bring their advisory, legal, and child-of-therapists expertise to bear on the thorny questions of sisterhood, including a candid, live call with a listener (available only at Slate Plus!) Plus, Mallory reflects on being the Jack Johnson of road rage, responds to people who think it's just fine to give away your mom's dog, and spends a few minutes reveling in the newly-released footage of Jerry Lewis' long-lost Holocaust clown movie.

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Jun 28 2016
25 mins
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Rank #11: Dear Prudence: The "Regret Baby" Edition

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Dear Prudence and Slate’s Christina Cauterucci take on behavior that goes from bad to worse: a “toxic friend” who uses her mental health issues to get away with abusing her friends; a man trying to shame his wife into having a “regret baby” seven years after they both agreed to an abortion; and a father who wants to tell his preteen sons how much he doesn’t love their mother. Plus, Prudie advises a woman wondering if she can move into her own place even though she’s happily married, encourages a listener to go for it with an eager ex, and meditates on weak endings and the deadening managerial mantra, “If there’s time to lean, there’s time to clean.”

Full episodes of the Dear Prudence podcast are available exclusively to Slate Plus members. Listen to old episodes at Slate.com/Prudiepod

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Jul 12 2016
35 mins
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Rank #12: Dear Prudence: The "Sell The Damn Ring" Edition

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Prudence is joined this week by writer and film critic Willow Maclay. Maclay runs the website Curtsies and Hand Grenades, and is co-author of the upcoming book Corpses, Fools and Monsters: An Examination of Transgender Cinema
Together they tackle letters about how to get along with the normal but sometimes annoying family that took you in, what to do when you can no longer afford the travel expenses in your long distance relationship, how to handle an cheating ex-fiance you still have feelings for, how to handle your family’s demands for holiday time when they don’t align with your partner’s family, what actions to take when your wife of 25 years suddenly blames you for the life she didn’t have. Also, Prudie reads a letter from a white woman who is wondering if it’s wrong that she feels more connected to black children than children of other races.
Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Willow discuss a letter writer who wants to be single, but is afraid of loneliness, and another letter writer who is wondering if she should help her alcoholic mom who abandoned her. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod.

Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Phil Surkis
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Jan 22 2019
53 mins
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Rank #13: Dear Prudence: The "Always An Excuse" Edition

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Prudence is joined this week by author and activist, Ebony Adams. Adams is the co-host of the podcast, Feminist Frequency Radio, along with Anita Sarkeesian and Carolyn Petit. She is also the co-author of the recently published History vs Women: The Defiant Lives That They Don’t Want You To Know. 
Together they dig into letters about how to handle a missed anniversary by your perpetually tardy boyfriend, what to consider about allowing your teenage daughter’s boyfriend to move in, how to handle a stepdad who raised you, but now doesn’t want to know you, how to handle parents who you know will be disappointed with your “coming out” conversation, what to do about your boyfriend’s newfound group of young and attractive admirers.
Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Ebony tackle letters about what to do you when your husband’s sleep schedule doesn’t allow for “sexy time”, and how to handle a professor who keeps triggering you by suggesting exercise. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod.
Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Phil Surkis
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Jan 08 2019
52 mins
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Rank #14: Dear Prudence: The “Women Are Too Distracting” Edition

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Prudence is joined this week by Jessie Lane, a social worker, mother, excellent cook, and holder of many opinions (and in this episode, holder of a baby). They tackle questions about how to deal with a coworker who tells the boss about their seemingly private suggestions for workplace improvement, how to tell your family about your sister’s boyfriend’s predatory behavior, what to do when your kid doesn’t fit in well with your family’s childcare, how to deal with a queer friend offended by a straight partner’s bigoted remarks, and how to deal with a male friend who feels too distracted by female friends to continue the friendship. In the full-length, ad-free version of the show, Slate Plus members can hear Prudie and Jessie Lane tackle additional an additional voicemail about what do when your parent decides to marry their high school girlfriend (whom they haven’t seen in 50 years) just a few months after being widowed. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod.
Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
May 08 2018
50 mins
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Rank #15: The "Transactional Relationships" Edition

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Mallory Ortberg and guest Jos Lavery discuss why we feel so compelled to discuss human relationships as transactions, and discuss how to handle family members who might be committing insurance fraud.

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Jul 05 2016
25 mins
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Rank #16: Dear Prudence: The “Bare Minimum of Icy Neutrality” Edition

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Prudence is joined this week by Kim Brinckerhoff, a lifelong Bay Area resident working on her master's degree in nursing and who does sexual assault advocacy in her free time (and also thinks everyone needs therapy). Together they tackle letters about what to do when your child’s closed-door therapy sessions make you paranoid, how to talk to your co-workers about your pain-in-the-ass colleague, how to navigate money drama with your family when you’re supporting only your niece, what do when you’ve been accidentally added to a cruel group text about you, and should you consider leaving your partner because you hate their former partner who is very much a part of the family. Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and kim discuss an additional letter about how to talk to your boss about his disgusting cubicle habits. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod.
Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.comProduction by Max Jacobs
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Aug 14 2018
56 mins
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Rank #17: Dear Prudence: The "Addiction Fatigue" Edition

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Prudence is joined this week by San Francisco writer Laura Turner, who also happens to be Prudie’s older sister.

Together, they tackle letters about what actions to take when you’re friends with a married couple who abuse each other, what to do when your boss schedules the holiday party on your religious day of rest, should you have another baby even though the fate of your marriage is uncertain, how to handle a father who posts his erotic artwork in social media along with the family photos, how to break it to your husband that you’ve been hiding that you’re no longer a vegetarian, what to do when you’re exhausted from supporting your friend through her addictions.

Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Laura discuss a letter writer who is wondering if she can not invite a racist aunt to her wedding and not offend the rest of her family. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod.

Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com
Production by Phil Surkis
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Dec 11 2018
1 hour 7 mins
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Rank #18: Dear Prudence: The "You Gonna Eat That?" Edition

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Prudence is joined this week by writer Helen Rosner. She is the food correspondent for The New Yorker, and a former editor at places like Eater, Saveur, and New York Magazine.

Together they tackle letters about what to do when a lonely neighbor treats you  as if you were her grandchild, what to do when a member of your fine dining club can no longer afford to pay, but insists on coming anyway, how to share your secret financial struggles with your husband, what actions to take when your mother-in-law fat shames you after your pregnancy. Prudie and Helen also respond to a voicemail from a woman who discovered a man on her disability focused message board who may be posing to get attention from women.

Slate Plus members will hear Prudie and Helen discuss a letter writer who has conflicting feelings about her high school bully who recently committed suicide, and another letter from a woman who wants to reconnect with her ex through social media, but is being thwarted by her ex’s partner. Not yet a member? Sign up at Slate.com/PrudiePod.

Email: prudencepodcast@gmail.com
Production by Phil Surkis
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Mar 19 2019
1 hour 11 mins
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Rank #19: Dear Prudence: The "Hot Mess" Edition

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Former Toast editor Nikki Chung joins Prudie to tackle a thorny bunch of your letters! First up: I’m living with a slob and I can’t afford to move out. Help! How do I get my husband to be kinkier in the bedroom? I might have prompted my daughter to make a false accusation of sexual abuse – what do I do? I can’t fall out of love with my lesbian wife. Help! How should I split rent with my partner? And finally: Is it selfish not to go to my boyfriend’s sister’s wedding? Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Sep 26 2017
56 mins
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Rank #20: Dear Prudence: The “Cats Can Be Gay” Edition

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If you don’t like it when people say “no problem,” then you’re the one with the problem, Prudie says. Then onto your questions: How do I talk to my adopted black daughter about race? My husband won’t keep his hands off me in public! I’m gay – what next? Speaking of coming out, why does my friend call inanimate objects lesbians? Prudence is joined by friend and biochemist Brandon Taylor. Hear more Prudence by joining Slate Plus: Slate.com/Prudiepod.
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Feb 21 2017
45 mins
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