Rank #1: 150B-European Epics: Where the Shadows Lie
From the end of the world to the underworld and Armageddon itself, Kalevipoeg does way too many things.
The creature will throw acres of caustic feces in your direction.
This episode is sponsored by Anchor. Anchor is a Spotify-owned company that makes it easy for anyone to make a podcast, for free. Get started at www.anchor.fm/mythsandlegends.
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Rank #2: 52-Greek Mythology: An Eternal Flame
Two love stories from Greek mythology...because those go so well. The first is the story of Narcissus and Echo, which was doomed from the moment one jumped out of the bushes at the other for a non-consensual hug. The second story is of Orpheus and Eurydice. Orpheus takes the (non-death) early retirement option from his heroics and just when he thought he was out...they pull him back in.
DO NOT LOOK THE CREATURE THIS WEEK IN THE EYE.
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"Twilight Grandeur" by Podington Bear
"Submerging Blue-Black" by Podington Bear
Rank #3: 2A-Aladdin: The Magician’s Nephew
It's the original story of Aladdin, but it's very different from the story you know. The jinni (actual spelling of genie, by the way), don't really grant wishes. Listen to this episode to hear the bizarre original story that led to inspired retellings.
Rank #4: 80A-Medusa: Golden Child
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Medusa is probably the most misunderstood villain in all of Greco-Roman Mythology, famous only for being a monster...and the hero's quest to kill her. We'll learn all about her background and follow the quest of one fated to clash with her. Also this is Greek mythology so everyone is terrible all the time always.
The creature this week is the floating head and he's kind of like Pac-man...if Pac-man had a taste for people and delicious chestnuts.
Lootcrate! The theme for this month's crate is Kingdom, with stuff from Adventure Time, Lord of the Rings, and the Legend of Zelda. Check out http://www.lootcrate.com/legends code LEGENDS, to get $3 off any new subscription today.
Spotify: My preferred way of listening to podcasts, check out spotify.com/podcasts to get started there today.
"Toppler" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Soothe" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Seamless" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Partly Sage" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Old Skin" by Podington Bear
"Little Dipper" by Podington Bear
"Astrisx" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Comet Trails" by Moon
"Orbs of Light" by Moon
Non-graphic talk of Zeus impregnating a woman by turning into a shower of gold (?) and non-graphic talk of how Poseidon raped a woman and then the woman was blamed for it because she was irresistible.
Rank #5: 68A-Morgan Le Fay: Get Thee to a Nunnery
Sorceress. Confidant. Traitor. Sister.
All of those words describe Morgan Le Fay, King Arthur's half-sister. She is by far the most complex character I've come across in the Arthurian legends, but she's constantly portrayed in the medieval and early modern texts as a one-note traitorous baddy who is evil because she's an evil sorceress and evil sorceresses are evil. If you're familiar with the legends, you're going to see a Morgan you've never seen before. If you're not, get ready to meet one of the most interesting, tragic figures you'll come across.
The Great Courses Plus: Go to http://thegreatcoursesplus.com/myths to get a free trial of The Great Courses Plus, and while you’re there, check out the course “Fundamentals of Photography."
Loot Crate: Here's the link for the Groot I was talking about. This 22" figure will be in the one mega crate sent out to a lucky subscriber. The rest of us will have to settle for a bunch of cool pop culture stuff worth twice what we paid for it. Darn. Check out http://www.lootcrate.com/legends code LEGENDS for $3 off any new subscription.
Music:“Malachite” by Andy G. Cohen “Watching from Red Hill” by Artofescapism “Disinter” by Blue Dot Sessions “The Face of the Thrush” by Blue Dot Sessions “Take Me Higher” by Jahzzar “Snowmen” by Kai Engel “Even when we fall” by Philipp Weigl “The Scent of Cedars” by Philipp Weigl “60s Quiz Show” by Podington Bear“Fits” by Podington Bear “Pop Brasilia” by Podington Bear “Seventh Hill” by Podington Bear “Starday” by Podington Bear “Toboggan (Smooth Run)” by Podington Bear “Trader Ho Hey” by Podington Bear
Rank #6: 1C-Knights of the Round Table: The Lion Knight Rises
After you hear the creature of the week, you won't want to get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night for fear of running into this greasy little red guy from Japanese mythology.
Rank #7: 113-Armenian folklore: Occupational Hazard
The prince is having a bad day...because the prince is having a great day. His life is just too easy. Too awesome. He is suffering from too much luxury. It's definitely not because he's into a girl who doesn't like him back. Nope. Not at all.
Ok, it totally is. But don't tell his mom.
The creature this week is a homicidal sea monster baby, because sure.
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I've been a fan of Simplisafe for as long as I've been a customer - over two years now. Check them out at http://www.simplisafe.com/legends
Rank #8: 57-Japanese Fairy Tales: Faithful
This week, there are two stories from Japanese folklore. The first has to do with a butterfly that just won't give up trying to land on the face of a dying man. The second is of a monk-in-training who just doesn't want to stop partying.
The creature is Hedley Cow, and she will give you hope that that the relationship with your crush might work out...but will leave you standing alone in the swamp.
Check out http://audible.com/myths for some excellent audiobooks. The one I recommended on today's show was "Mythology" by Edith Hamilton.
Rank #9: 3A-Vikings: The Norse and the Furious, Bredi’s Drift
Also, I talk about the barbegazi, a helpful little frozen beard with huge feet. Here are the promised pictures! (go to the website for the pictures)
Rank #10: 67A-Gawain: To the Dogs
You probably had to read the story of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight in high school. I know I did, and it's a great story. There are beheadings, green guys, confusing interactions with ladies. It might be one of the most violent non-Die Hard Christmas stories. Anyway, everyone knows that. You probably don't know the story I'll tell today. It's of how Gawain grew into the paragon of virtue he's known as in the legends. It involves, of course, dog parties, inept knights, and the most grotesque piece of neckwear we will ever talk about on this podcast.
The creature is a bunch of tiny guys who want to hang out in your room and dance, as long as you're cool with it. Just kidding - they don't care if you're cool with it.
"Pick up the Tempo"
Rank #11: 61-Solomon: One Ring
According to folklore, King Solomon had a ring. Given to him by God, it allowed him control demons...but it also had some other powers unknown to Solomon, powers that make it essential for fighting dragons, escaping witches, and taking nice Sunday afternoon flights through the country.
The creature is a shaggy, mostly-kind monster who is really great at walking on hillsides and really terrible at helping you hang pictures.
Loot Crate: check out http://www.lootcrate.com/legends (Code: LEGENDS) for this month's Primal crate, with stuff from Overwatch, Wolverine, Jurassic World, and Predator
Rank #12: 95A-Irish legends: Wanted
If I could have just re-named myself in grade school, it probably would have been Finn MacCool. I mean, yeah, that's only an English transcription and it's actually spelled Fionn mac Cumhaill and it doesn't really mean "Cool guy named Finn" but, loosely, "Fair one who is the son of Cumhaill" but, you know, details.
Really, really stupid joking aside, today's story is awesome. It's parts tense human drama, revenge tale, and fantasy epic. It has young people trying to avenge their parents, giant monster fights, and, of course, a very smart fish. It's a two-parter, and it's been one of my favorite stories so far on this podcast.
The creature this week is a fire monster who likes to play with his food. Unfortunately, that involves flinging flaming heads at grieving families.
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"Cab Ride" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Cicle Deserrat" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Down by the Bank" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Invernen" by Blue Dot Sessions
"Headway" by Kai Engel
"Slum Canto" by Kai Engel
"Evermore" by Kai Engel
"Cold War Echo" by Kai Engel
Rank #13: 50-Dracula: Bad Blood
Dracula isn't a creature from myths, legends, or folklore. The fictional vampire is a product of Bram Stoker. The name, though, stretches back centuries to a prince who ruled the kingdom called Wallachia, which borders the land with which he's most famously associated: Transylvania. We'll be talking all about the pseudo-legendary exploits of the real bloody tyrant, the bizarre rules surrounding fictional vampires, and the inspirations for the most famous vampire novel of all time.
If you see your significant other on the roof scraping moss, you should just eat the soup they make you even if it makes you vomit.Sponsors:
Stranglers, by Earwolf
Stranglers on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/stranglers/id1174116487?mt=2
Stranglers site: http://www.earwolf.com/show/stranglers/
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For 50% off holiday cards: http://www.vistaprint.com and use code MYTHS at checkoutNew show!
Our new show is Career Day. The jobs, lives, and stories of everyday people, every other Tuesday. It's an awesome show and we're really excited about it, so please check it out if it sounds cool.
On iTunes: http://itunes.careerdayshow.com
The feed (to copy and paste in any player): http://careerdayshow.libsyn.com/rss
"Studie I" by Jahzzar
"Aisles" by Jahzzar
Rank #14: 64-Frog Prince: Warts and All
The story of the frog prince is well known - a beautiful princess meets a frog, kisses him, and he turns out to be a prince. Except, in the earliest version, it doesn't go like that at all. I won't spoil it, but the original frog prince is extremely bizarre, and I had the most fun writing it of any episode so far.
The second story is of a frog princess, from Russian folklore, and not only is it a great story in its own right, with a stupid king and a ridiculous dating service, but we'll catch back up with our favorite witch living in a house on chicken legs and a certain deathless sorcerer early in his career.
The creature of the week shoots hail out of its ears and kills anyone it sees...unless you're carrying a sack of llama fat.
The Great Courses Plus: Text MYTHS to 86329 to get a free trial of The Great Courses Plus, and while you’re there, check out the course “Great Mythologies of the World”. (Standard message and data rates apply.)
and "Brass Buttons" are all by Blue Dot Session
and "Down and Around" are all by Podington Bear
Rank #15: 117-Romanian Folklore: What did it Cost?
This week, it's the fairy tale "Youth without Age and Life without Death", from Romania, a tale of love, loss, impossible quests, and acheiving your dreams. Also, why you shouldn't make idle promises to a kid that's just an hour old. It might end with them playing dominos with your horses and taking half of your kingdom's worth of gold.
The creature this week is the hili, from Lesotho, Africa. If you've never seen Big Bird's toilet...well...that's because it's you.
Check out Sacred Lies, a new series on Facebook Watch: https://www.facebook.com/sacredliesshow/
“Flutterbee” by Podington Bear “Nearly Nowhere” by Ketsa “Kestrel” by Chad Crouch “Rambling” by Ketsa “Worlds Edge” by Ketsa “Flashing Runner” by Blue Dot Sessions “Algea Trio” by Blue Dot Sessions “Traffic” by Kai Engel “Daedalus” by Kai Engel “Cold War Echo” by Kai Engel “Haunted Past” by Ketsa
Rank #16: 24-Thor: Whosoever Holds this Hammer
Norse mythology, like all mythology, is strange. Thor's hammer is gone. It was stolen...or he just left it somewhere and forgot about it. To get it back, though, he's going to have to do something more difficult than fighting legions of giants. He's going to need to get married.
And there's the origin of poetry, which contains way more men formed from spit than you'd expect for the origin of poetry.
On the creature of the week, seriously, just stay out of the woods. It never ends well. Except when it does, and you find love and learn to put on a puppet show.
Rank #17: 71C-Sinbad: There and Back and There and Back Again
If you've ever wondered about giving that strange old man a piggy-back ride in the woods, the philosophical nuances of way too much grave robbing, or how many people are necessary to take down a four-story-tall baby bird, well, then this is the episode for you. Sinbad finishes up his epic tale of epicness and we see what led to him falling back on his plan "B" of living a life of leisure on his near-infinite wealth.
The creature this time is the reason you should take a giant bat with you everywhere you go.
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Dollar Shave Club. You can get razors for only a few dollars a month. They are super-smooth, close shaves and you don't even need to leave your house to get them. Well, the razors, that is. You generally don't leave your house to shave. Unless you're stately, plump Buck Mulligan shaving on the roof. Don't be Buck Mulligan, though. That guy was a jerk. If you're interested in really great razors and not hassling tortured artists, check out dollarshaveclub.com/myths. You can get a $15 value for only $5.
Music:“Liptis” by Blue Dot Sessions “Sunday Lights” by Blue Dot Sessions “Toppler” by Blue Dot Sessions “Across the River” by Podington Bear “All the Ways” by Podington Bear “Just Watching” by Podington Bear
Rank #18: 70-Ugly Duckling: Fowl Play
It seems like with a lot of fairy tales someone looked at the original, thought that there was absolutely no way they could tell that to a child, and re-wrote it to get rid of the shocking violence and general terribleness of every creature ever. "The Ugly Duckling" by Danish writer Hans Christian Andersen is no exception. It's shockingly violent and sad at times, but underneath its brutality and ridiculousness is a profound theme that still resonates today. Also birds are jerks.
The creature this time is the Loveland Frog. It's a large-ish frog from my hometown in Ohio. Ohio is so boring we can't even have a cool cryptid.
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Dollar Shave Club: For just $5, you can get their top-of-the-line razor and a tube of shave butter (which unlike the Seinfeld episode isn't real butter and won't lead to Newman taking a bite out of you). Just go to https://dollarshaveclub.com/myths
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Music:“Warmer” by Andy G. Cohen“Faster Faster Brighter” by Blue Dot Sessions “Parade Shoes” by Blue Dot Sessions “Rafter” by Blue Dot Sessions “Tripoli” by Blue Dot Sessions “Like Starlight through a Veil” by Philipp Weigl “Midnight Blue” by Podington Bear
Rank #19: 56-Nepali Folklore: Hope You Guess My Name
A story of a young woman from Nepal who has a (sadly) common problem for folklore, but a very uncommon solution. Also she eats goat vomit. She probably doesn't enjoy it, though.
The creature this time is the Habetrot, and she'll make you want to wear stone glasses...and them promptly throw them down in horror and run away.
The Myths and Legends store is now up! Check it out at http://www.mythpodcast.com/store
Say hi to me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/jasontheweiser
Check out http://www.blueapron.com/legends to get your first three meals free with free shipping. It is a fantastic service, and I highly recommend it.
The Heifer International thing:
It's just a little something we wanted to do after learning about the situation in Nepal. If you'd like to donate, we made it super-easy. Just go to http://fundraise.heifer.org/mythpodcastand you'll be redirected to the page.
Rank #20: 88-Ragnarok: Doom
The Day of the Wolf. The Doom of the Gods. The end of all things. It has many names, but one word encapsulates it all: Ragnarok. It's what Odin has been dreading and fighting. It's what Loki has been planning. It's the dark end of days where the worlds will drop into eternal night, giants will battle gods, and all will burn.
Check out War Dragons at http://wardragons.com/legends to start playing now, and you can join my group by searching for "TheVolsungs"
Lootcrate! Get 100% exclusive crates by going to http://lootcrate.com/legends and using the code legends to get $3 off your first crate today.