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At Last She Said It

At Last She Said It is a podcast that seeks to amplify and explore a variety of voices, stories, ideas and experiences of Mormon women.

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At Last She Said It is a podcast that seeks to amplify and explore a variety of voices, stories, ideas and experiences of Mormon women.

Episode 118: BONUS—Living at the Edge of Inside, featuring Jeralee Renshaw

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"While there are things I love about the organization, and most especially the people and community, I also see the messiness, the warts, and I see some very real pain and damage in it all. And so here I am today, living at the edge of inside." In this special bonus, Jeralee reflects on her faith journey and the lessons she's learning along the way, sharing an adaptation of her presentation from the ALSSI Fall Gathering, October 2022.

Nov 22 2022

38mins

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Episode 117: When Women Are The Problem

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Are women complicit in their own marginalization within the Church? In their Season 5 finale episode, Cynthia and Susan unpack the idea of complicity, and some obstacles to overcoming it. It’s an itchy topic with no easy answers. But the real focus of the conversation is a call for women to support other women as a necessary first step to change. If we can’t allow for different experiences, and sit with each other in that difference, can we truly love one another?

Oct 25 2022

1hr 13mins

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Episode 116: Meeting Your Feminist Self, Part 2

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In this Part 2 episode, more Latter-day Saint women share stories of personal feminist awakenings. It's hard to shake the unsettling realizations once we begin to see through a feminist lens at church. For these episodes, Cynthia and Susan asked listeners to talk about their feminist journeys. Do you think about things today the same way you did 5 or 10 years ago? If not, what has led you to see things differently? And what are the implications for your faith life going forward?

Oct 21 2022

1hr 3mins

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Episode 115: Meeting Your Feminist Self, Part 1

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There are probably as many versions of a feminist awakening as there are feminists. Some have always felt aware of the disparity between men’s and women’s experiences and opportunities. For others, the awareness has come more recently. Either way, it’s hard to shake the unsettling realizations once we begin to see through a feminist lens at church. For this episode, Cynthia and Susan asked listeners to talk about their personal feminist journeys. Do you think about things today the same way you did 5 or 10 years ago? If not, what has led you to see things differently? And what are the implications for your faith life going forward?

Oct 18 2022

50mins

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Episode 114: This Is Your Brain On Church—a Conversation with Jill Evans Opdahl

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Language is powerful. The words and phrases we use repetitively in church create well-worn pathways in our brains. Each time we think in a certain way, practice a certain task, or feel a certain emotion we strengthen and grow that pathway, making it easier for our subconscious to find again and again. Whether it’s hearing male pronouns associated with deity or studying scriptural records written by and about men, without conscious effort there’s a good chance we’re reinforcing ideas about gender roles every time we sit through a lesson, hear a talk, or sing a hymn. In this conversation, Jill Evans Opdahl joins Cynthia and Susan to talk about the implications of “our brains on church,” and consider the challenges and rewards of adding new pathways to our old ways of thinking.

Oct 11 2022

58mins

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Episode 113: Revisiting the Mother Tree — A Conversation with Kathryn Knight Sonntag

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In her book, The Mother Tree: Discovering the Love and Wisdom of Our Divine Mother, author Kathryn Knight Sonntag wrote, “Further exploration of the Mother is part of the unfolding Restoration in our hearts.” Today many women are feeling led to explore the divine feminine more deeply, or for the first time, in an effort to erase the separation that has existed between Latter-day Saints and our Heavenly Mother. In Episode 113, Kathryn shares insights and ideas gleaned from her personal research and experiences. It's a conversation about creating wholeness and healing the mother wound in our theology.

Oct 04 2022

58mins

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Episode 112: What About Purity Culture?

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What does it mean to a Latter-day Saint young woman when she hears that virtue and chastity are ‘most dear and precious above all things?’ Purity Culture is a movement built on teachings of sexual abstinence before marriage, with the insidious slant that girls and women are responsible for not only their own purity, but that of boys and men. Young women face strict dress codes and years of lessons about how to avoid tempting or distracting. Some even internalize a message that's difficult to overcome: a woman’s personal worth is linked to her sexual purity. In Episode 112, therapist Colette Dalton joins Cynthia and Susan for a conversation about changing the conversation. How might the Church teach chastity in ways that promote sexual health and spiritual well-being throughout our lives?

Sep 27 2022

58mins

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Episode 111: Raising Healthy Kids in the Church—A Conversation with Michelle Larson

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For women who have experienced some kind of faith shift or feminist awakening, how to raise children in the Church may become a perplexing question. We may want something different from the messaging and experiences—cultural or religious—we grew up with. We may want a more expansive idea of God than is presented in correlated materials. We may hold more nuanced views than some official positions. We may wonder how to answer questions about issues to which we don’t really have answers ourselves. In episode 111, Cynthia and Susan are joined by Michelle Larson who assures us all parents get some things wrong, but we also get many right. It’s an exploration of ideas for finding personal approaches that best fit each family.

Sep 20 2022

58mins

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Episode 110: We Don't Believe Our Own Stuff—Repentance Edition

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How do you think about repentance? Is it a way to become pure? A way to change direction? A way to accept responsibility for harm we’ve caused ourselves or others? And how do you feel about an organization that doesn’t apologize? Can we make amends without acknowledging harm? Repentance is something we hear and talk a lot about at church, but we don’t all think about it the same way. In Episode 110, Cynthia and Susan share personal ideas about repentance, and discuss whether or not Latter-day Saints believe our own stuff when it comes to the second fundamental principle of the gospel.

Sep 13 2022

59mins

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Episode 109: BONUS—A Few More Thoughts About Sealings

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In this short bonus episode, Cynthia and Susan share a few more listeners' experiences and feelings about temple sealings and the policies around them. Spoiler: It's complicated.

Sep 09 2022

14mins

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Episode 108: What About Sealings?

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Disparity in the Church’s sealing policies for men and women is something many members never think about until their life experience reveals it in some way. The truth is, a variety of complex real-life scenarios may change the idea of sealing from a joyful eternal prospect to a painful eternal sentence for some Latter-day Saint women. If you are widowed, divorced, remarried, or single, your sealing options as a woman are limited, and you have little to no power in the process of determining what’s right for you. In this episode, ALSSI listeners share their personal experiences with the Church’s sealing policies, and the complex emotions that arise as a result of living within these limitations.

Sep 06 2022

59mins

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Episode 107: In Search of Self — A Conversation with C.A. Larson

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Having learned about her well-defined role as a wife and mother from the time she is a young girl, when and how does a Latter-day Saint woman develop an understanding of who she is as an individual? Over time, not living in alignment with our true self is exhausting, and may be detrimental to health and happiness. ‘Finding yourself’ may sound cliché, but self-discovery is key to making choices about our life and identity that will lead to personal fulfillment. Therapist C.A. Larson joins Cynthia and Susan for a conversation about some of the unique challenges LDS women may face in our search for Self.

Aug 30 2022

1hr 3mins

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Episode 106: What About Blessings? Part 2

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‘Blessing’ is a catch-all word. From prosperity gospel to the laying on of hands, it is used to describe a transactional approach to our relationship with God: we do something and believe we are ‘blessed’ as a result. But when we try to connect those specific dots in our lives, things can get tricky. Such a transactional view may challenge our faith as often as it affirms it. In this follow-up conversation, Cynthia and Susan take another look at some complicated ways Latter-day Saints perceive, experience, and express the idea of blessing.

Aug 23 2022

1hr 3mins

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Episode 105: The Process of Staying...A Few More Thoughts—BONUS

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In this short bonus episode, Susan shares “Circles of Light,” the essay in which the phrase ‘I’m in the process of staying’ originated.

Aug 19 2022

16mins

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Episode 104: The Process of Staying

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“Why do you stay? How do you stay?” Because the conversations on this podcast often highlight problems Latter-day Saint women have observed or experienced in their church lives, these questions come up a lot. Every so often, it’s helpful to check in with oneself for the current answers. In this episode, Cynthia and Susan discuss the process of staying: what that process looks like for them, and why they each continue to find value engaging with it today.

Aug 16 2022

59mins

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Episode 103: What About Missions? A Conversation with Apple Lanman

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There’s a lot of pressure around missions in the Church. From the time they are very young, our children hear the clear expectation that they will serve. But the decision to serve, the realities of mission life, the possibility of returning home early, and the pressure to make big life decisions soon after a mission ends, can all weigh heavily on young Latter-day Saints and their families. “The reality of mission life both pre- and post-mission is hard!” says therapist Apple Lanman, who joins Cynthia and Susan for a discussion of some of the complexities—personal, family, cultural, and institutional—surrounding this celebrated rite of passage.

Aug 09 2022

59mins

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Episode 102: Did It Ever Matter?

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There’s a tension in our church between things that change and things that some members consider to be unchangeable. It can be hard to distinguish between the two, and our history would suggest that more things are probably changeable than we think. Figuring out what matters, why it does, and when that may change is an ongoing process, personally and institutionally. To answer those questions for ourselves, we must approach practices and programs in a way that helps us uncover spiritual meaning in them—or sometimes not. In this conversation, Cynthia and Susan talk about some specific changes they’ve experienced during their church lives, and ask the question: Did that ever matter?

Aug 02 2022

59mins

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Episode 101: Still Ultimate, Still a Big Deal—BONUS

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In this short bonus episode, Cynthia and Susan say a little bit more about the temple—a topic so big, there will always be more to say.

Jul 29 2022

27mins

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Episode 100: The Ultimate Big Deal, Part 3

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For our 100th episode, what could be more fitting than a discussion about the temple? It’s the centerpiece of Latter-day Saint worship members believe sets our church apart from all others. Many women can trace their most sacred experiences to it, but for others—from the wording to the rituals—attending the temple causes deep unease. Having complicated feelings about something so reverenced can be a struggle to admit, even to oneself. In this conversation, Cynthia and Susan highlight the emotions and experiences of women who generously shared their hearts with us on this difficult topic.

Jul 26 2022

1hr 2mins

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Episode 099: We Don't Believe Our Own Stuff—Heavenly Mother Edition

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Who we pray to and how we envision God is personal, but the Church organization can and does limit our collective discourse about Heavenly Mother. Many feminists have been disciplined for speaking and writing publicly about Her. What does this silencing say about the importance of the doctrine? And is an unwillingness to allow deeper engagement with the feminine divine in our teaching and worship indicative of the organization’s regard for women generally? Why don’t we seem to believe our own stuff about one of the most unique—and for many compelling—aspects of our theology?

Jul 19 2022

58mins

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iTunes Ratings

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Chieko Okazaki’s comment in Single’s Conference

By Ms. Parks:) - May 09 2020
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Back when there were Single’s Adult Conferences in Las Vegas, Chieko Okazaki was the main speaker. There were technical difficulties with the sound system which took quite a bit of time. Chieko was standing on the podium of the stage when the man involved with dealing with the tech problem on the floor looked up and said something along the lines of “You will need to cut back your talk” and without skipping a beat she said “Would you say that if I was a man?” and then continued on with her talk.

Please read this

By mullet4mama - May 06 2020
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Please expand your “church view” and discussion to beyond the valley. I love the pod cast. Love your thoughts, but try understand the viewpoint those of us out side of the bubble of Utah. We are in different boats, navigating the same storm.