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The Imperfects

We're all imperfect. On this podcast, Hugh van Cuylenburg, founder of The Resilience Project chats to a variety of interesting people who are willing to make themselves vulnerable, by sharing their own struggles and imperfections. Hugh and good friend Ryan Shelton then discuss some valuable take aways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.

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We're all imperfect. On this podcast, Hugh van Cuylenburg, founder of The Resilience Project chats to a variety of interesting people who are willing to make themselves vulnerable, by sharing their own struggles and imperfections. Hugh and good friend Ryan Shelton then discuss some valuable take aways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.

Hamish McLachlan - A World Turned Upside Down

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While many of us may think of Channel 7’s Hamish McLachlan as the voice of sport in Australia, Hamish is very quick to point to Bruce McAvaney instead. As it turns out, we all love Bruce McAvaney A LOT and apologetically talk about him for quite a while - including a few wonderful Bruce stories from Hamish.

When we finally get to the Vulnerabilitea House card selection, Hamish answers the question, ‘When did your life get turned upside down and how did things change?’. This prompts Hamish to show incredible vulnerability and recount two formative events from his family life, and how they’ve reframed his own relationship with the meaning of “challenging times”.


For book recommendation, '4000 Weeks', by Oliver Burkeman, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3C4G6x3

Sep 25 2022

1hr 16mins

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Nazeem Hussain - Losing a Parent

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Stand-up comedian Nazeem Hussain lost his father to COVID-19 in 2021. In this episode, Nazeem shares the difficulties surrounding his family’s loss, and how his Dad’s life and sudden death has impacted his own life. But Nazeem also tells some wildly funny stories - in particular one about a "comedy concert" he did in Sri Lanka in front of The Prime Minister, which turned out to be organised by none other than his Dad.

You probably already know Naz from his many, MANY appearances on the telly including The Project, Orange Is The New Brown or maybe even I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here. But his latest work sees him acting and writing on the new ABC show, Summer Love. Link below.


To watch Nazeem in Summer Love, follow this link: https://ab.co/3BR4gLC

To pre-order Nazeem's new children's book, follow this link https://bit.ly/3UlxSHW

For recommendation, 'Raising Boys', by Steve Biddulph, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3RLMpuV

To read '7 Sneaky Ways Your Parents Influence Is Still Affecting Your Life', by Suzannah Weiss, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3UhkTam

Sep 18 2022

1hr 34mins

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Johann Hari (Pt 2) - Why Do We Do What We Do?

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In Part 2 of this Academy of Imperfection, author and profanity purveyor, Johann Hari answers more of your brilliant questions.

As a result, Johann talks with Hugh, Ryan and Josh about intrinsic and extrinsic values, and how they affect the things we do and social media’s role in why we do them.

Also (speaking of click-bait), in an Imperfects exclusive, Johann reveals his go-to KFC order.

And double-also, we recorded this episode before the passing of Queen Elizabeth II, which will make more sense when you listen.

Sep 14 2022

58mins

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Johann Hari (Pt 1) - How Can We Change?

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Imperfects regular, Johann Hari joins us IN STUDIO for the first time to answer your questions!

In this very special edition of The Academy of Imperfection (which we’ve split into 2 MASSIVE EPISODES OVER 2 MASSIVE... um... EPISODES!), Johann Hari talks with Hugh, Ryan and Josh about our ability to change our habits in the face of addiction. And why we can learn from the approach of Overeater’s Anonymous to help our addiction to our phones and the internet.

Johann will be back later this week to answer more of your questions.

For app recommendation 'Freedom', to block websites, follow this link: https://freedom.to/

To learn more and purchase Johann's books, follow this link: https://johannhari.com/

Sep 11 2022

55mins

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Mark Wilson from JET - Dealing with Loss

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In 2003, JET’s Are You Gonna Be My Girl was one of the biggest songs on the planet. It was so big, Apple even used it for their first iPod ad. Remember? The one with the dancing silhouettes on the colourful backgrounds? Yeah, that was JET.

As the bass player for JET, Mark Wilson has lived the dream of any musician. He’s toured the world and played to packed stadiums, and even stood with Beyonce and Jay Z at the MTV Video Music Awards before playing on stage in front of them.

But Mark has also been dealt with some of the most challenging tragedies we can face. In this emotional episode, Mark talks about the good times and the bad times and how he’s dealt with loss in his life.

After the interview, Hugh talks with Ryan and Josh about some practical ways we can all deal with loss and trauma in our own lives.


To watch Bessel van der Kolk's "6 ways to to heal trauma without medication" on YouTube, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3q7FnEH

To read or purchase book recommendation, "The Body Keeps The Score" by Bessel van der Kolk, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3BdSPgH

Sep 04 2022

1hr 39mins

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How to Write a Gratitude Letter

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To celebrate Father's Day, Hugh plays some intimate audio of him reading a chapter of his book, 'Let Go', to his Dad (and Josh's Dad incidentally). But not just any old chapter, the final chapter ABOUT his Dad.

Afterwards, Hugh explains to Ryan and Josh, how writing a gratitude letter to your Dad (even if he isn't around anymore) can have a hugely positive impact.

But of course, Gratitude Letters aren't just for Dads, they're for your Mum or any carer in your life as well.

Happy Fathers Day. Have a listen, then go write a gratitude letter. ❤️


To watch Fitzy (Ryan Fitzgerald) read his gratitude letter to his dad, follow this link: https://vimeo.com/352402397

To view a version of the 'Power and Privilege Wheel' please follow this link: https://bit.ly/3ecWnGS

Sep 01 2022

36mins

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Dr Emily - Who Is Your Inner Critic & Why Is It There?

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In this Emisode, Dr Emily explains some reasons why the inner critic is there in the first place, and where it’s coming from.


To watch Shirzad Chamine's Ted Talk, 'Know Your Inner Saboteurs', follow this link: https://bit.ly/2Ybu5Aa

To learn more about Daniel Siegel research and to purchase Mindsight, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3TnNVV5

To read the research article 'Positive Self-Statements, Power For Some, Peril For Others', follow this link, https://bit.ly/2L4k0k3 or, https://bit.ly/3RiTeDo

To listen to Russ Harris talk about the problems with positive self-talk on The Life Lessons podcast with Simon Mundie, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3TlOZJ8

To learn more about Russ Harris's research and to purchase The Happiness Trap, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3wDAgzM

Aug 28 2022

1hr 9mins

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Darcy Vescio - They/Them Matters & Here’s Why

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Carlton footballer Darcy Vescio is one of the biggest names in the AFLW, having won multiple awards including the Carlton Best & Fairest, 2-time All Australian selection and the Mark of the Year. As a marquee player, Darcy is at the top of their game.

But that’s just part of Darcy’s story. Less than a year ago, Darcy publicly came out as non-binary, announcing to the football community that they would now go by the they/them gender pronouns.

In this Vulnerabilitea House, Darcy tells Hugh, Ryan and Josh what that experience was like for them. But also, after Hugh and Ryan regrettably slip up a few times during the episode, Darcy graciously explains why it matters so much to them when people do get their pronoun right.


To watch Darcy's 2017 Mark of The Year, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3Cp54Yy

Aug 21 2022

50mins

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Dr Paul Callaghan - How To Follow The Dreaming Path

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This Academy of Imperfection is a little different. As Hugh explains in the opener, this episode actually IS more like a lecture. But trust us, that’s a good thing.

Dr Paul Callaghan has a lot of wisdom to share that he's accrued over a lifetime of wins, losses and even a near death experience that changed his life forever. As an Aboriginal man, much of Paul's wisdom has come from his experience on The Dreaming Path, which also happens to be the title of the book he’s co-written with his friend and Aboriginal elder, Uncle Paul Gordon.

This book is one of the most impactful books we've ever read. Some might assume that aboriginal lore from tens of thousands of years ago would be irrelevant in today’s world. Faaaaar from it. Dr Paul Callaghan and Uncle Paul Gordon wrote this book for all of us, so after you finish this episode, pick up a copy at your local bookstore, and then, let’s all go bush with Paul!


To purchase The Dreaming Path, Indigenous Thinking To Change Your Life, by Dr Paul Callaghan and Uncle Paul Gordon, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3SLD0V4

Aug 14 2022

1hr 2mins

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We Need to Talk... Again - Hugh, Ryan & Josh have a chat

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B-B-B-BONUS EP!!! A-A-A-AGAIN!!!

Every now and then, Hugh, Ryan and Josh like to get together and chat about their own imperfections that they’ve been dealing with recently. This is one of those episodes.

Hugh talks about “life seasons”, Ryan explains why European holidays aren’t always as perfect as they appear, and Josh talks about watching Morning Wars with Jennifer Anniston. 


To read Hugh’s recommendation of Kimberly Gillan’s article in the Age, ‘Are You In Tune With Your Life Season’, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3Q6o4iC

Aug 07 2022

53mins

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Dr Emily - You Are Not Your Emotions

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She’s back again! Our very own psychologist, Dr Emily!

In this emisode, Dr Emily reflects on a very moving chat we had with comedian Steen Raskopoulos. 

She talks with Hugh, Ryan and Josh about the concept of Emotional Awareness, and explains why it’s not only important to identify your unpleasant emotions, but why it's even more important to express them when they arise.

Oh, Hugh and tells us about going to Bondi.


For book recommendation Atlas of The Heart by Brene Brown, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3zmHW9Y

For Susan David’s Ted Talk, The Gift and Power of Emotional Courage, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3OQvFAm

To learn more about Matthew Lieberman’s study on ‘affect labelling’, (putting emotions into words) and its impact on our negative emotional experience, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3PQrUMO

To learn more about Dr Dan Siegel’s research into ‘mindsight’ and how we can ‘name and tame’ emotions, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3Q8PLqM

To learn more about The Resilience Project’s Journals, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3cSVItf

For app recommendation Day One, follow this link: https://dayoneapp.com/

Jul 31 2022

52mins

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Steen Raskopoulos (REPEAT - but with new intro!)

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Okay, so we're dabbling with repeat episodes because we've taken a week off. But we have recorded a new intro bit so there ya go, at least there's SOME new stuff!

This episode with comedian Steen Raskopoulos is not only one of our favourite episodes, but it's also the subject of next week's emisode with Dr Emily - which we can't wait for!

So yeah, back to regular, imperfect programming next week!


To listen to Steen’s podcast, Congrats On The New, please follow this link: https://apple.co/3yUjhtc

To listen to Ryan on Steen’s podcast, please follow link: https://apple.co/3cyEC3Y

Jul 24 2022

1hr 23mins

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Michelle Brasier - The Case For Optimism

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Maybe you know Michelle Brasier from Aunty Donna. Or maybe from Shaun Micallef’s Mad as Hell. Or maybe she’s made you laugh (or cry) in any number of things she’s done on the stage and screen over the years. 

Or maybe you don’t her……… YET!

Michelle Brasier is a singer, actor, writer and comedian who - as you’ll hear in this Vulnerabilitea House - has overcome multiple adversities since a young age. But despite the challenges, she still firmly believes in the practice of optimism. And after selecting the card, “Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist?”, Michelle explains why optimism is such an important part of her life.

Thanks Michelle - you are a breath of fresh air!


To see when and where Michelle is performing next, follow this link: https://www.michellebrasier.com/tour

To listen to the soundtrack from the movie Once, follow this link: https://spoti.fi/3Rmckd0

Parting Glass by Audionautix is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Artist: http://audionautix.com/

Jul 17 2022

54mins

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Martin "Rac" Heppell - The other F word... FAILURE

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We all fail. All of us. Why? Because we’re all imperfect. And no one talks about failure more passionately than The Resilience Project’s own Martin “Rac” Heppell. And he’s today’s guest lecturer in The Academy of Imperfection.

Some of you may remember Rac’s first memorable appearance in The Vulnerabilitea House last season. If you haven’t heard it, we know you’ll want to listen (or re-listen) after this one - link below.

Failure, the other F word, is something we don’t like to talk about. It’s embarrassing. And sometimes it’s shameful. But as Martin explains, it’s important that we DO talk about failure. Because failure isn’t just normal… it’s crucial for our growth.

Feel like a rev up? This ep’s for you.

Rac’s back, baby… RAC’S BACK.

ALSO… here’s some extra info about Rac that’ll be helpful before listening to the ep:

- When Rac was a kid, his family spent some time living with a head-hunting tribe (there’s more on this in Rac’s first episode from last season)

- Between 1993 and 1995, Rac played 7 senior AFL games for St Kilda and Melbourne

- Rac works with The Resilience Project as one of their main Speakers, spending the majority of his time at schools, helping kids around Australia.

To listen to our previous episode with Rac, follow this link: https://apple.co/3xWoKPy

Jul 10 2022

1hr 28mins

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Libby Trickett - When is Enough, Enough?

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Australia has had a LOT of success in the Olympic Swimming Pool. That’s an understatement. But one of our most successful and loved Olympians of recent times is golden girl, Libby Trickett. During her successful swimming career Libby was all smiles after winning gold medal after gold medal at three consecutive Olympic Games, but as she shares in this episode, on the inside she was struggling with a powerful feeling that she wasn’t enough.

Libby tells us all about what that was like, as well as sharing her more recent struggles with motherhood, and how both have led to bouts of depression and anxiety.

Libby displays extreme vulnerability in this episode - more of which is in her new book, Beneath the Surface.

Thank you Libby.


To listen to Libby’s podcast, All The Glitters, buy her book “Beneath The Surface, or learn more about her business “Unlocking Her Potential”, please follow this link: https://linktr.ee/libby_trickett

For book recommendation “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle, please follow this link: https://bit.ly/2ylEihJ

To listen to the Oprah’s Super Soul Conversation podcast with Eckhart Tolle, please follow this link: https://apple.co/3ub2Nvl

For book recommendation Atomic Habits by James Clear, please follow this link: https://bit.ly/2CbKTNL

Jul 03 2022

1hr 37mins

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Dr Emily - The (pesky) Hedonistic Treadmill

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Dr Emily is back to help us all!


Reflecting on our episode with Olympic BMX rider, Sam Willoughby from Season 2, Dr Emily talks us through the dangers of the Hedonistic Treadmill, and its slightly lesser known cousin, Hedonistic Adaptation.


There’s a lot covered in this episode, including ‘Growth Mindset’, being mindful of what we want and why, and how quickly we actually adapt to finally getting those things we want.


For book recommendation Hardwiring Happiness by Rick Hanson, please follow this link: https://bit.ly/3tTaRjU

For book recommendation The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3tT6e9E

To watch Carol Dwecks Ted Talk, please follow this link: https://bit.ly/3OydHTz

Reference for Sonja Lyubomrisky’s stats for the determinants of happiness: https://bit.ly/3xPDSy6

Jun 26 2022

55mins

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Glenn Robbins - Listening to the Voice in Your Head

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For over 30 years, Glenn Robbins has been one of the funniest and most loved performers in Australia. From The Comedy Company and Kath & Kim, to The Panel and of course Russell Coight, Glenn has guaranteed his spot in the comedy history books.


But Glenn hasn’t always seen it that way. From a young age he was told he was "average", and despite his many successes, has dealt with a lifetime of performance anxiety.


In this edition of The Vulnerabilitea House, Glenn opens up and tells us how he manages to ignore the 'bad voice' in his head that tells him he's not good enough, and instead listen to the ‘good voice’, so he can face his fears and make good work he's proud of.


We highly encourage you to listen to this episode - especially while power-walking through the suburbs with a set of hand weights.


To listen to Glenn’s podcast with Dave O’Neil, click this link: https://apple.co/3O41PZv

To watch Shane Warne on The Panel, click this link: https://bit.ly/39DB1R0

Book recommendation Before & Laughter by Jimmy Carr can be found here: https://amzn.to/3y3Xss7

Book recommendation From Strength To Strength by Arthur C Brooks can be found here: https://amzn.to/3OqJQfS

Jun 19 2022

1hr 14mins

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Lael Stone - Creating Emotionally Intelligent Humans

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In the words of her own child, Lael Stone “works for the kids”.

But while Lael is technically a therapist who supports parents in understanding their children, everything Lael talks about in this edition of The Academy of Imperfection could easily be applied to all of us in understanding the people in our lives - no matter what age. Whether that be our friends, parents, colleagues or even ourselves.

Through her work, Lael helps adults process their own childhood trauma, and creates education systems that value emotional awareness, demonstrating why it all comes back to connection and compassion.

Oh, and listen out for the dramatic moment when Ryan swoops in and inadvertently steals Josh’s “Good Question” (patent pending).


To learn more about Lael’s work please visit her website at: https://laelstone.com.au/

To watch Lael’s Ted Talk please follow this link: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6fL09e8Tm9c&feature=emb_imp_woyt

To learn more about Lael’s school please follow this link: https://woodlineprimary.com.au/

To watch It’s Not About The Nail, please follow this link: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg

Jun 12 2022

1hr 11mins

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Harry Garside - A Boxer Who Dares To Be Different

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Harry Garside is an Australian boxer who won bronze at the Tokyo Olympics - the first Olympic medal in boxing for Australia in 33 years. But to simply describe Harry Garside as a champion boxer, would be to sell him waaaaaaay short.

Because Harry is also a ballet dancer, a plumber and the guy who asked to wear a dress at the Olympic Opening Ceremony with the desire of defying gender stereotypes (request denied).

But above all of that, Harry embodies everything we preach on The Imperfects. Vulnerability. Embracing our imperfections. And just men bloody talking about the emotional shit and stuff.


To listen to the podcast with Deeyah Khan that Harry recommends, please follow the link https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-kunkEfHiLI

Jun 05 2022

1hr 35mins

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Dr Emily - Truth vs Harmony

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In this Emisode, Dr Emily returns to talk about a topic that is VERRRRRY close to the bones of Ryan, Hugh and Josh. The ongoing battle of Truth vs Harmony.

Does that ring any bells for you? Do you choose to live truthfully? Or harmoniously? And what does that even mean? What’s the difference? And how do living ‘truthfully’ or ‘harmoniously’ affect us and the people around us?

Dr Emily goes into all of it.


In this episode, Dr Emily references conversations from Hamish Blake's episode and our last bonus episode. To listen to those, follow the links below:

Hamish Blake's episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/hamish-blake-lets-talk-about-self-doubt/id1476501557?i=1000555382728

Bonus episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/we-need-to-talk-hugh-checks-in-with-ryan-josh-after-a-big-month/id1476501557?i=1000556568682


Dr Emily also references Rick Hanson, to follow his work visit: www.rickhanson.net


If you have experienced, or are at risk of domestic and family violence and/or sexual assault, you can call the 24 hour national counselling service 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732). In an emergency, or if you are not feeling safe, always call the police on 000. - https://www.1800respect.org.au/services

May 29 2022

57mins

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