There are some common patterns that occur within high achievers after starting coaching. . .one of them is what awareness of thinking brings.   This episode will explore what follows awareness. . .and how we can choose to think differently about it, and about ourselves. Creating an Unstoppable Life begins with all the opportunities that awareness brings.

There are some common patterns that occur within high achievers after starting coaching. . .one of them is what awareness of thinking brings.   This episode will explore what follows awareness. . .and how we can choose to think differently about it, and about ourselves. Creating an Unstoppable Life begins with all the opportunities that awareness brings.

Ep #86 - What Awareness Brings

How many times have you been told (or told yourself) that you just need to slow down or rest?  Rest may help you to continue to tolerate your life. . .but nothing changes.  You don't get closer to answering the calling for your life. This short episode explores why rest is not the answer for creating an unstoppable life.  We'll cover what the answers ARE, and how you can apply them.  Your calling is waiting. . .the life of fulfillment and freedom is waiting for you to create it. . .and this episode is inspiration to keep going.

How many times have you been told (or told yourself) that you just need to slow down or rest?  Rest may help you to continue to tolerate your life. . .but nothing changes.  You don't get closer to answering the calling for your life. This short episode explores why rest is not the answer for creating an unstoppable life.  We'll cover what the answers ARE, and how you can apply them.  Your calling is waiting. . .the life of fulfillment and freedom is waiting for you to create it. . .and this episode is inspiration to keep going.

Ep #85 - What You Need is NOT Rest

It's easy to forget the value of our lives and our work - especially five months into pandemic living.  This short episode is a reminder of why your life matters &amp; how to step into your value and allow it to lead your life and work.  Cheering for you &amp; your journey to Unstoppable.

It's easy to forget the value of our lives and our work - especially five months into pandemic living.  This short episode is a reminder of why your life matters &amp; how to step into your value and allow it to lead your life and work.  Cheering for you &amp; your journey to Unstoppable.

Ep #84 - Another Look at Value

Think of negotiation as a 4-letter word not expressed in polite company?  Linda Street, MD, is a negotiation coach and physician who's here to shift your mindset.  She will share what negotiations IS, what it IS NOT, and how you too can become confident and own your value.  Negotiating from a place of empowerment is part of Creating an Unstoppable Life - and Linda will show you how.  You can find her at SimplyStreetMD.com and in the NegotiatHER MD-Transparency and Strategy for Female Physicians facebook group.

Think of negotiation as a 4-letter word not expressed in polite company?  Linda Street, MD, is a negotiation coach and physician who's here to shift your mindset.  She will share what negotiations IS, what it IS NOT, and how you too can become confident and own your value.  Negotiating from a place of empowerment is part of Creating an Unstoppable Life - and Linda will show you how.  You can find her at <a href="http://SimplyStreetMD.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">SimplyStreetMD.com</a> and in the NegotiatHER MD-Transparency and Strategy for Female Physicians facebook group.

Ep #83 - Negotiations with Dr. Street

Better - it's what we are called to be individually, especially now.  This podcast episode highlights the work of self-improvement -&gt; why do it, what it looks like, and who the beneficiaries are.  Better is how WE Create an Unstoppable Life - for ALL of us.  

Better - it's what we are called to be individually, especially now.  This podcast episode highlights the work of self-improvement -&gt; why do it, what it looks like, and who the beneficiaries are.  Better is how WE Create an Unstoppable Life - for ALL of us.

Ep #82 - Better

Have you been driving yourself crazy during this time of change?  Today's episode introduces the concept of Owner and Operator of your life - for your life.  We'll compare and contrast each role both in life and in business.  And we'll explore where the breakdown occurs that leads to exhaustion.  Owning your life is where joy and fulfillment are found - and this episode will guide you in that direction.  

Have you been driving yourself crazy during this time of change?  Today's episode introduces the concept of Owner and Operator of your life - for your life.  We'll compare and contrast each role both in life and in business.  And we'll explore where the breakdown occurs that leads to exhaustion.  Owning your life is where joy and fulfillment are found - and this episode will guide you in that direction.

Ep #81 - Why You Drive Yourself Crazy

We love to hear good stories - it enhances the human experience.  This episode is a shift to look at the stories within - the ones we tell ourselves.  More specifically, stories that hold us back. . . the ones of loss, or failure, or pain.  The stories that keep us from our calling.  We'll explore the current story and what it is creating in your life, and then look at why and how to write a new story.  It will change your life experience, and help you to Create an Unstoppable Life.  

We love to hear good stories - it enhances the human experience.  This episode is a shift to look at the stories within - the ones we tell ourselves.  More specifically, stories that hold us back. . . the ones of loss, or failure, or pain.  The stories that keep us from our calling.  We'll explore the current story and what it is creating in your life, and then look at why and how to write a new story.  It will change your life experience, and help you to Create an Unstoppable Life.

Ep #80 - Stories

Do you ever find that your mind is swirling around - creating massive amounts of anger, fear, doubt, guilt?  This episode is for you!  We are going to cover the topic of thought storms - what they are, why they occur, and how you can maneuver through them with grace and compassion.  Thought storms never define us. . .how we manage them does.  Now, more than ever before, it's essential to optimize our thinking. . .that's what will allow us to live and give at an extraordinary level.  

Do you ever find that your mind is swirling around - creating massive amounts of anger, fear, doubt, guilt?  This episode is for you!  We are going to cover the topic of thought storms - what they are, why they occur, and how you can maneuver through them with grace and compassion.  Thought storms never define us. . .how we manage them does.  Now, more than ever before, it's essential to optimize our thinking. . .that's what will allow us to live and give at an extraordinary level.

Ep #79 - Thought Storms

We are in the midst of something we've never experienced before nationally and internationally.  Are you asking yourself What Now?  Today's episode is to help you see where your mind goes - how emotion is created - and how that shapes our internal world.  This episode will bring clarity through understanding your thinking and challenging it with 4 questions. . .allowing you to decide if you want to follow where your mind is trying to lead you.  You matter.  Your thinking matters.  Your life experience matters.  This episode will help you take it all to the next level.  

We are in the midst of something we've never experienced before nationally and internationally.  Are you asking yourself What Now?  Today's episode is to help you see where your mind goes - how emotion is created - and how that shapes our internal world.  This episode will bring clarity through understanding your thinking and challenging it with 4 questions. . .allowing you to decide if you want to follow where your mind is trying to lead you.  You matter.  Your thinking matters.  Your life experience matters.  This episode will help you take it all to the next level.

Ep #78 - What Now?

Today's episode is a webinar/workshop hosted online last week.  Grab a pen &amp; paper - you will be guided through some exercises to explore what's happening in your mind and see how it is shaping your world.  We'll discuss tools you can use today, and learning points to carry with you.  Overwhelm and uncertainty are all around us, but they don't have to be within us.  Managing both will free up your time &amp; energy to creatively respond to the changes and challenges in our world today.  

Today's episode is a webinar/workshop hosted online last week.  Grab a pen &amp; paper - you will be guided through some exercises to explore what's happening in your mind and see how it is shaping your world.  We'll discuss tools you can use today, and learning points to carry with you.  Overwhelm and uncertainty are all around us, but they don't have to be within us.  Managing both will free up your time &amp; energy to creatively respond to the changes and challenges in our world today.

Ep #77 - Managing Overwhelm & Uncertainty

The podcast for Smart Professionals who often get in their own way.  Each episode is created and delivered by a physician who wants to experience more in life, and help others do the same.  We'll explore how to get unstuck, move beyond over-working and over-thinking, and create more fulfillment personally and professionally.

So much of our lives can be spent in fear - fear of not being enough, of not having enough. . .which is based in scarcity.  Today we are going to explore it in more detail - how to uncover it in your life. . .how to move beyond it. . .and the difference an abundance mindset will make for you.  All with the goal of living and giving at an extraordinary level, and Creating an Unstoppable Life.

So much of our lives can be spent in fear - fear of not being enough, of not having enough. . .which is based in scarcity.  Today we are going to explore it in more detail - how to uncover it in your life. . .how to move beyond it. . .and the difference an abundance mindset will make for you.  All with the goal of living and giving at an extraordinary level, and Creating an Unstoppable Life.

Ep #76 - Scarcity

As part of our human experience we feel a myriad of emotions. However, there are generally a few that drive a lot of our behavior. . . one of which is Fear.  This episode will show you areas that Fear may be showing up and holding you back from the life you have always dreamed of.  Fear is part of the human experience, but it no longer has to define your experience.  Create an Unstoppable Life includes moving past fear and into confidence and courage to live and give at an extraordinary level.

As part of our human experience we feel a myriad of emotions. However, there are generally a few that drive a lot of our behavior. . . one of which is Fear.  This episode will show you areas that Fear may be showing up and holding you back from the life you have always dreamed of.  Fear is part of the human experience, but it no longer has to define your experience.  Create an Unstoppable Life includes moving past fear and into confidence and courage to live and give at an extraordinary level.

Ep #75 - Recognizing Fear

This is the episode to start seeing your life differently.  Playing for crumbs will help you see where you spend time and energy for little reward or a negative reward.  We all do it.  And we do it without realizing the true cost to growing our life.  Playing for crumbs keeps us busy, but doesn't move life forward in a meaningful way.  This episode will show you how to think differently and live differently to answer the calling for your life.  

This is the episode to start seeing your life differently.  Playing for crumbs will help you see where you spend time and energy for little reward or a negative reward.  We all do it.  And we do it without realizing the true cost to growing our life.  Playing for crumbs keeps us busy, but doesn't move life forward in a meaningful way.  This episode will show you how to think differently and live differently to answer the calling for your life.

Ep #74 - Playing For Crumbs

So many high achievers believe they (we) need to learn more to be successful.  That the answers or path is outside of us.  Today's episode will challenge that commonly held belief.  Unlearning will explore all the limiting ideas and beliefs that hold us back.  We'll look why it's important to unlearn, how to get started, and what it will look like (FREEDOM).  Unlearn what holds you back, and learn that you have everything you already need.  

So many high achievers believe they (we) need to learn more to be successful.  That the answers or path is outside of us.  Today's episode will challenge that commonly held belief.  Unlearning will explore all the limiting ideas and beliefs that hold us back.  We'll look why it's important to unlearn, how to get started, and what it will look like (FREEDOM).  Unlearn what holds you back, and learn that you have everything you already need.

Ep #73 - Unlearning

It's absolutely the best time of the year to introduce the idea of Change Shame - what it is, how it works, why it comes up, and why we slow down/spin around and quit.  Want to make any change in your life?  Want to grow your life?  Want to shift from what you thought was a dream career into something totally different?  Then you must navigate Change Shame to be successful.  This episode will provide clarity and tools to assist you on your journey.  Happy New Year!

It's absolutely the best time of the year to introduce the idea of Change Shame - what it is, how it works, why it comes up, and why we slow down/spin around and quit.  Want to make any change in your life?  Want to grow your life?  Want to shift from what you thought was a dream career into something totally different?  Then you must navigate Change Shame to be successful.  This episode will provide clarity and tools to assist you on your journey.  Happy New Year!

Ep #72 - Change Shame

Life is all about what we can learn and then apply to refine our life.  Today's podcast episode will take you through a short process to mine the gold of your holiday experience.  You will learn more about yourself and evaluate your thinking at a deeper level.  You will experience the empowerment as you apply this learning to every aspect of your life.  I'll share what I learned and how I'm shifting my thinking in the next 6 months to create a different life experience.  It's the perfect way to end your year.  

Life is all about what we can learn and then apply to refine our life.  Today's podcast episode will take you through a short process to mine the gold of your holiday experience.  You will learn more about yourself and evaluate your thinking at a deeper level.  You will experience the empowerment as you apply this learning to every aspect of your life.  I'll share what I learned and how I'm shifting my thinking in the next 6 months to create a different life experience.  It's the perfect way to end your year.

Ep #71 - Debrief Your Mind

It's time to expand your vocabulary and introduce the word Must-ing.  It is simply doing what you must in life.  Doing what you must to grow, to contribute, to bring to life what you believe in.  There is no other option.  Must-ing is about feeding the hunger, and becoming the person we know we can be.  Join me in must-ing life.  There is no magic my friends, but the journey and destination are both magical.  And both are available to you as you Create an Unstoppable Life.

It's time to expand your vocabulary and introduce the word Must-ing.  It is simply doing what you must in life.  Doing what you must to grow, to contribute, to bring to life what you believe in.  There is no other option.  Must-ing is about feeding the hunger, and becoming the person we know we can be.  Join me in must-ing life.  There is no magic my friends, but the journey and destination are both magical.  And both are available to you as you Create an Unstoppable Life.

Ep #70 - Must-ing

This episode is everything you want in life, and nothing you can purchase.  It's 6 different ways to shift your thinking, share your thinking or intentionally decide not to, and grow your life in a deeper and more fulfilling way.  Just in time for the holidays and the new decade ahead.  More ways to create both an unstoppable mindset and life.

This episode is everything you want in life, and nothing you can purchase.  It's 6 different ways to shift your thinking, share your thinking or intentionally decide not to, and grow your life in a deeper and more fulfilling way.  Just in time for the holidays and the new decade ahead.  More ways to create both an unstoppable mindset and life.

Ep #69 - The Unstoppable Life Gift Giving Guide

You are in for a treat - we are talking about getting out of your own way through the very simple concept of alignment.  We'll cover what we do - intentionally and automatically, and what we are truly hungry for.  When these are in alignment, our life becomes unstoppable.  Totally possible for all of us through shifting our mindset and investing differently in our life.  

You are in for a treat - we are talking about getting out of your own way through the very simple concept of alignment.  We'll cover what we do - intentionally and automatically, and what we are truly hungry for.  When these are in alignment, our life becomes unstoppable.  Totally possible for all of us through shifting our mindset and investing differently in our life.

Ep #68 - Alignment

New title - New energy - and today's theme is all about waking up.  Today is about creating power and momentum through our habits in the morning, and fundamental components to being awake and alive each day.  All with the focus of getting out of our own way and creating an unstoppable life.  

New title - New energy - and today's theme is all about waking up.  Today is about creating power and momentum through our habits in the morning, and fundamental components to being awake and alive each day.  All with the focus of getting out of our own way and creating an unstoppable life.

Ep #67 - Waking Up

Today I listened to the one where she talks about “borrow mine.” The fact that she believes is us and we can believe in others, is so impactful to how overwhelmed and discomforted I am right now during COVID. I highly recommend her!

Exactly what I needed

Oh my goodness - Dena’s voice &amp; perspective is SO calming &amp; insightful.  

I just listened to “it’s better here” and even though I am a coach and am somewhat familiar w the concept, I heard this in such a new and refreshing way.  

It really is better here.  
And not anywhere else in the future.

Thanks Dena.  I will truly use this in my life. 

Highly recommend this podcast : )

Soooo good!

Create an Unstoppable Life

Ever find yourself in the midst of an active mind that's engaged in negative thoughts?  (Lots of them.)  Want redirect the energy somewhere else. . . like someplace useful?  Then this episode is for you!  Today we are talking about transition words - a simple word or two to interrupt the story in our mind with an equal and opposite amount of doubt.  Specifically, doubting the doubt, doubting the uncertainty, and doubting that any fear is real.  Words that you can use to learn more about your mind, and move farther along your journey to a phenomenal life.

Ever find yourself in the midst of an active mind that's engaged in negative thoughts?  (Lots of them.)  Want redirect the energy somewhere else. . . like someplace useful?  Then this episode is for you!  Today we are talking about transition words - a simple word or two to interrupt the story in our mind with an equal and opposite amount of doubt.  Specifically, doubting the doubt, doubting the uncertainty, and doubting that any fear is real.  Words that you can use to learn more about your mind, and move farther along your journey to a phenomenal life.

Ep #47 - Transition Words

This is not your average topic, and in fact may come as a surprise.  Good is what many people strive for. . . good is enough.  Today we are exploring how good can be a hindrance, and hold us back from experiencing great. . . and even phenomenal.

This is not your average topic, and in fact may come as a surprise.  Good is what many people strive for. . . good is enough.  Today we are exploring how good can be a hindrance, and hold us back from experiencing great. . . and even phenomenal.

Ep #17 - Rethinking Good

In this episode we'll talk about what happens when we decide to make a change. . . and some strategies to keep us moving in the direction of phenomenal.

In this episode we'll talk about what happens when we decide to make a change. . . and some strategies to keep us moving in the direction of phenomenal.

Ep #3 - Choosing One

This week we are talking about something that is so intellectually simple, and yet few of us do it. . .specifically allow imperfection in ourselves and our work.  We'll cover the 4 enemies or roadblocks to allowing imperfection, look at how underachievers and high achievers are the same person, and finally cover antidotes that you can use today.  A lot of content in one episode - perfect for the smart professional.  Thank you for being here today.

This week we are talking about something that is so intellectually simple, and yet few of us do it. . .specifically allow imperfection in ourselves and our work.  We'll cover the 4 enemies or roadblocks to allowing imperfection, look at how underachievers and high achievers are the same person, and finally cover antidotes that you can use today.  A lot of content in one episode - perfect for the smart professional.  Thank you for being here today.

Ep #65 - Allowing Imperfection

The holidays are just around the corner - join me in this podcast for some tools to use with some challenges the holidays can present.  So that you can stay present to what is important.

The holidays are just around the corner - join me in this podcast for some tools to use with some challenges the holidays can present.  So that you can stay present to what is important.

Ep #20 - Coaching Yourself Through the Holidays

Building on Episode 27, we will explore letting go of the instruction manuals for others.  It's the perfect time to do so - a new year, a new way of managing our behavior and seeing the positive effects on others.  

Building on Episode 27, we will explore letting go of the instruction manuals for others.  It's the perfect time to do so - a new year, a new way of managing our behavior and seeing the positive effects on others.

Ep #28 - Letting Go

Welcome to this episode.  Today we are covering entitled thinking and what it leads to.  It's easy to believe that we do not have entitled thinking. . . but look deeper.  It's there in sneaky and subtle ways, and it compromises our ability to create and grow a phenomenal life.  Uncovering this and clearing it out of your life will completely change your life experience - and further you down the road to phenomenal.  So glad you are here!

Welcome to this episode.  Today we are covering entitled thinking and what it leads to.  It's easy to believe that we do not have entitled thinking. . . but look deeper.  It's there in sneaky and subtle ways, and it compromises our ability to create and grow a phenomenal life.  Uncovering this and clearing it out of your life will completely change your life experience - and further you down the road to phenomenal.  So glad you are here!

Ep #59 - Entitled

There's a game we play as adults - we want something, get overwhelmed, hide from it, then start looking for it again.  It's a cycle that leads to quitting.  Today we are exploring what happens, why it happens, and how you can take back control and stay focused on your calling.  Letting go of the hide and seek mentality is what moves your life (and the life of others) to phenomenal.  

There's a game we play as adults - we want something, get overwhelmed, hide from it, then start looking for it again.  It's a cycle that leads to quitting.  Today we are exploring what happens, why it happens, and how you can take back control and stay focused on your calling.  Letting go of the hide and seek mentality is what moves your life (and the life of others) to phenomenal.

Ep #46 - Hide and Seek

So many of us hold ourselves back. . .the fear of being seen by others as 'too much' is one of the driving forces.  Today's episode will explore this further - why and how we hold ourselves back, what we are missing out on, and how we can create phenomenal on the road ahead.

So many of us hold ourselves back. . .the fear of being seen by others as 'too much' is one of the driving forces.  Today's episode will explore this further - why and how we hold ourselves back, what we are missing out on, and how we can create phenomenal on the road ahead.

Ep #21 - Be Too Much

So many of us get started and delay, or never get started. . . despite having amazing goals and dreams.  Today's episode will dig into what occurs in our mind that works against growth and change.  We'll explore the blocks to our compelling why, how it's part of the human experience to want to be comfortable. . . and what you can do about it.  There's a lot of encouragement to get started, start again, and keep going.  Perfect for the high achiever - especially as we head towards the end of the year.

So many of us get started and delay, or never get started. . . despite having amazing goals and dreams.  Today's episode will dig into what occurs in our mind that works against growth and change.  We'll explore the blocks to our compelling why, how it's part of the human experience to want to be comfortable. . . and what you can do about it.  There's a lot of encouragement to get started, start again, and keep going.  Perfect for the high achiever - especially as we head towards the end of the year.

Ep#66 - Getting Started

Even superheroes have weaknesses. . . and we humans are no different.  Today we are looking at what creates weakness within us, and how to learn and grow from it.  First to understand what happens when our kryptonite appears, and then go deeper and diffuse or extinguish it over time.  That's what moves life from good to phenomenal.  

Even superheroes have weaknesses. . . and we humans are no different.  Today we are looking at what creates weakness within us, and how to learn and grow from it.  First to understand what happens when our kryptonite appears, and then go deeper and diffuse or extinguish it over time.  That's what moves life from good to phenomenal.

Ep #43 - The Kryptonite Response

The mind of an over-achiever and over-thinker is complicated at times. . .you may have noticed.  (Smile)  In today's episode we'll explore how a simple question, asking how, can lead to frustration and quitting.  When I ask the question of how to accomplish something, I invite in doubt and uncertainty. .. followed by frustration and quitting.  Today's episode will explore this concept in more detail, help you recognize your own thought traps, and provide examples of thinking differently.  All with the goal of creating a more phenomenal life.

The mind of an over-achiever and over-thinker is complicated at times. . .you may have noticed.  (Smile)  In today's episode we'll explore how a simple question, asking how, can lead to frustration and quitting.  When I ask the question of how to accomplish something, I invite in doubt and uncertainty. .. followed by frustration and quitting.  Today's episode will explore this concept in more detail, help you recognize your own thought traps, and provide examples of thinking differently.  All with the goal of creating a more phenomenal life.

Ep #56 - How

Creating a phenomenal life requires taking the road less traveled.  The one of personal responsibility and accountability, specifically looking at how we create our problems.  From there, we can understand both the problem and ourselves more deeply, leading to amazing and sustainable solutions.  This episode is all about that path.  Create something more in your life - for your life.  This episode will help you.

Creating a phenomenal life requires taking the road less traveled.  The one of personal responsibility and accountability, specifically looking at how we create our problems.  From there, we can understand both the problem and ourselves more deeply, leading to amazing and sustainable solutions.  This episode is all about that path.  Create something more in your life - for your life.  This episode will help you.

Ep #42 - Solving Problems

The best podcast episodes on romantic relationships. Episodes talk about the 5 love languages, intimacy, and the taboo topics of sexual desires and infidelity. This topic is a deep dive into the science and complexities that face us in our relationships with others. Add episodes you're interested into your queue below!

OwlTail

[Contains mature themes] He reached out because a year after the discovery of his affair, they aren’t fighting anymore, but they certainly haven’t moved on. Esther guides them towards a more honest conversation, and a revelation about their communication.

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

[Contains mature themes] He reached out because a year after the discovery of his affair, they aren’t fighting anymore, but they certainly haven’t moved on. Esther guides them towards a more honest conversation, and a revelation about their communication.

I've Had Better

 Welcome!  My guest today is Dr. John Gottman, one of the world's leading experts on how to have an amazing relationship.  He and his wife Julie currently operate The Gottman Institute in Seattle, offering numerous resources and training.  Join us for a deep dive into their work!  Dr. Gottman’s findings are largely based on the conclusions he has made over many years of research and observations of couples. He and his team have how to be a master (and avoid being a disaster) at relationship.  Dr. Gottman discusses the following topics:   “The Sound Relationship House” - what is the foundation for a relationship that lasts?  Learn the importance of having high expectations in relationship, and also uncover ways in which what you'd *think* would be good for your relationship is actually counterproductive.  Dr. Gottman identifies Styles of Confronting Conflict:  Volatile, Validating, and Conflict-Avoiding. All of these conflict styles can lead to successful relationships. Learn what to do if you and your partner are mismatched in your conflict style.  Dr. Gottman discusses “bids” we make with our partner as an attempt to connect. Are you a "yes" to your partner's bids? Are they a yes to yours?  “Bids” that fail are often the beginnings of conflict. How do things change if you start paying attention and responding to your partner's bids in a positive way?  Mindfulness is the key to noticing these bids and avoiding conflict.  “Small Things Often” - a reminder to turn toward these bids in the small moments of life.  Dr. Gottman's concept of startup is a way of thinking about what you bring to your interactions with your partner. Do you start in a place that's already positive, and thinking highly of your partner? Or do you start in a place where you are suspecting the worst of your partner?  Build up your emotional bank account with small compliments (deposits).  According to John, there are three phases of any relationship:  Falling in Love (initial), Building Trust (middle), and Cherishing Your Partner (long-term intimacy). What phase are you in? The key to success is using strategies that are appropriate for where you are in your relationship.  The key to more sex is having the freedom to say "no" without being punished for it. If refusing sex can actually have a positive payoff, then it will actually lead to a couple having a more satisfying (and frequent) sex life.  Do you ever wonder how to make a good relationship GREAT? Focus on cherishing your partner.  What if YOU are the only partner who wants to make changes?  Can you make a difference?  Absolutely. Learn how shifts in your approach can have a profound affect on your relationship.  The key to success in a relationship isn't that nothing bad ever happens. It's how well you as a couple learn how to repair after those things occur. John discusses how you can learn to repair, and the positive effects that has on long-term relationships.  Do you know how to decide if you’re in a bad relationship?  When you're with your partner, are you at your best? Or are you veering off towards your worst? Gottman offers this simple guideline for how to know whether to stay or go. Also what to think about BEFORE you decide that you're on the wrong path.   Join us for these topics and more.  Dr. Gottman has practical information that can improve your relationship TODAY!   Links and Resources:  What Makes Love Last: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal by Dr. John Gottman  The Gottman Institute, Seattle   www.gottman.com    www.neilsattin.com/gottman    (visit to download a .pdf of this episode guide along with John Gottman's "Dreams in Conflict" exercise to help couples who seem to have irreconcilable differences. You can also text “PASSION” to 33444 for instructions on how to download the guide. If you download the guide within the first week of this show's airing, you will also qualify for a chance to win a free signed copy of Dr. Gottman’s book "What Makes Love Last".) The Relationship Alive Community on Facebook Amazing intro/outro music provided courtesy of: The Railsplitters - Check them Out! 

Relationship Alive!

Welcome!  My guest today is Dr. John Gottman, one of the world's leading experts on how to have an amazing relationship.  He and his wife Julie currently operate The Gottman Institute in Seattle, offering numerous resources and training.  Join us for a deep dive into their work! Dr. Gottman’s findings are largely based on the conclusions he has made over many years of research and observations of couples. He and his team have how to be a master (and avoid being a disaster) at relationship. Dr. Gottman discusses the following topics: <ul> <li> “The Sound Relationship House” - what is the foundation for a relationship that lasts?</li> <li> Learn the importance of having high expectations in relationship, and also uncover ways in which what you'd *think* would be good for your relationship is actually counterproductive.</li> <li> Dr. Gottman identifies Styles of Confronting Conflict:  Volatile, Validating, and Conflict-Avoiding. All of these conflict styles can lead to successful relationships. Learn what to do if you and your partner are mismatched in your conflict style.</li> <li> Dr. Gottman discusses “bids” we make with our partner as an attempt to connect. Are you a "yes" to your partner's bids? Are they a yes to yours?</li> <li> “Bids” that fail are often the beginnings of conflict. How do things change if you start paying attention and responding to your partner's bids in a positive way?</li> <li> Mindfulness is the key to noticing these bids and avoiding conflict.</li> <li> “Small Things Often” - a reminder to turn toward these bids in the small moments of life.</li> <li> Dr. Gottman's concept of startup is a way of thinking about what you bring to your interactions with your partner. Do you start in a place that's already positive, and thinking highly of your partner? Or do you start in a place where you are suspecting the worst of your partner?</li> <li> Build up your emotional bank account with small compliments (deposits).</li> <li> According to John, there are three phases of any relationship:  Falling in Love (initial), Building Trust (middle), and Cherishing Your Partner (long-term intimacy). What phase are you in? The key to success is using strategies that are appropriate for where you are in your relationship.</li> <li> The key to more sex is having the freedom to say "no" without being punished for it. If refusing sex can actually have a positive payoff, then it will actually lead to a couple having a more satisfying (and frequent) sex life.</li> <li> Do you ever wonder how to make a good relationship GREAT? Focus on cherishing your partner.</li> <li> What if YOU are the only partner who wants to make changes?  Can you make a difference?  Absolutely. Learn how shifts in your approach can have a profound affect on your relationship.</li> <li> The key to success in a relationship isn't that nothing bad ever happens. It's how well you as a couple learn how to repair after those things occur. John discusses how you can learn to repair, and the positive effects that has on long-term relationships.</li> <li> Do you know how to decide if you’re in a bad relationship?  When you're with your partner, are you at your best? Or are you veering off towards your worst? Gottman offers this simple guideline for how to know whether to stay or go. Also what to think about BEFORE you decide that you're on the wrong path.</li> </ul> Join us for these topics and more.  Dr. Gottman has practical information that can improve your relationship TODAY!  Links and Resources: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/What-Makes-Love-Last-Betrayal/dp/1451608489/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">What Makes Love Last: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal</a> by Dr. John Gottman The Gottman Institute, Seattle <a href="http://www.gottman.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> www.gottman.com</a> <a href="http://www.neilsattin.com/gottman" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.neilsattin.com/gottman</a>    (visit to download a .pdf of this episode guide along with John Gottman's "Dreams in Conflict" exercise to help couples who seem to have irreconcilable differences. You can also text “PASSION” to 33444 for instructions on how to download the guide. If you download the guide within the first week of this show's airing, you will also qualify for a chance to win a free signed copy of Dr. Gottman’s book "What Makes Love Last".) The <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/RelationshipAliveCommunity/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Relationship Alive Community</a> on Facebook Amazing intro/outro music provided courtesy of: <a href="http://www.therailsplitters.com/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">The Railsplitters - Check them Out! </a>

01: John Gottman - How to Be a Master of Relationship

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