Whatcha Packin

Judge Topher gives some pro tips on which wines to pack for your vacays and getaways.

Judge Topher gives some pro tips on which wines to pack for your vacays and getaways.

Sidebar Ep. 24: Whatcha Packin’?

Judge Rachel takes us on a deep dive into one of the first major celebrity scandals, a Prohibition-era, sordid tale of sex, drugs, and a mysterious death that has yet to be solved...

Judge Rachel takes us on a deep dive into one of the first major celebrity scandals, a Prohibition-era, sordid tale of sex, drugs, and a mysterious death that has yet to be solved...

Sidebar Ep. 23: SCANDAL!!!

Looking to ace Potions class? Judge Topher gives some instructional tips on how to infuse your own liquors at home!

Looking to ace Potions class? Judge Topher gives some instructional tips on how to infuse your own liquors at home!

Sidebar Ep. 22: Double, Double, Toil and Trouble...

Judge Rachel stuns us all with a list of the most expensive celebrity homes out there... and they are some doozies!

Judge Rachel stuns us all with a list of the most expensive celebrity homes out there... and they are some doozies!

Sidebar Ep. 21: Welcome Home!

DEFENDENTS: Judges Rachel and Topher EVIDENCE: Private Wine Selection SCENE OF THE CRIME: The Judges' Chambers--Our Judges find themselves in the crosshairs of justice as they defend themselves with evidence from their own personal wine cellars. Learn the sordid secrets of their lives and listen with baited breath as they turn on each other in our first ever dueling cross examinations!

DEFENDENTS: Judges Rachel and Topher   EVIDENCE: Private Wine Selection   SCENE OF THE CRIME: The Judges' Chambers -- Our Judges find themselves in the crosshairs of justice as they defend themselves with evidence from their own personal wine cellars. Learn the sordid secrets of their lives and listen with baited breath as they turn on each other in our first ever dueling cross examinations!

CASE 0133: Battle of the Sexies

In order for Judge Topher to answer this week's question, he and Judge Rachel are forced to relive some of their most embarrassing moments.

In order for Judge Topher to answer this week's question, he and Judge Rachel are forced to relive some of their most embarrassing moments.

Sidebar Ep. 20: What’s Your Emotional Damage?

DEFENTANT: The Chicks   EVIDENCE: "Gaslighter" Rosé   SCENE OF THE CRIME: Somewhere in California -- Our Judges trudge through some trepidatious waters as they hear the case of one of country music's most outspoken and controversial trios. Rachel answers the age old question of whether a bear sh*$# in the woods, and Topher incurs the wrath of the Bae-hive...

DEFENTANT: The Chicks EVIDENCE: "Gaslighter" Rosé SCENE OF THE CRIME: Somewhere in California -- Our Judges trudge through some trepidatious waters as they hear the case of one of country music's most outspoken and controversial trios. Rachel answers the age old question of whether a bear sh*$# in the woods, and Topher incurs the wrath of the Bae-hive...

CASE 0132: Squatters’ Daughters and Southern Chickens

Judge Topher gives advice on proper cocktail garnishing and shares some of his favorite garnish pairings.

Judge Topher gives advice on proper cocktail garnishing and shares some of his favorite garnish pairings.

Sidebar Ep. 19: Garnish This!

DEFENDANT: Bethenny Frankel  EVIDENCE: Skinnygirl White Blend SCENE OF THE CRIME: California--Our Judges find themselves surrounded with various crimes as they attempt to wade through evidence of insensitivity, bigotry, and doubling down. Rachel refuses to discuss centaurs, and Topher writes a best selling book.

DEFENDANT: Bethenny Frankel    EVIDENCE: Skinnygirl White Blend   SCENE OF THE CRIME: California -- Our Judges find themselves surrounded with various crimes as they attempt to wade through evidence of insensitivity, bigotry, and doubling down. Rachel refuses to discuss centaurs, and Topher writes a best selling book.

CASE 0131: Here’s The Skinny...

Our Judges address a question from tequila enthusiast Frankie as they tackle the age-old question, how much is too much?

Our Judges address a question from tequila enthusiast Frankie as they tackle the age-old question, how much is too much?

Sidebar Ep. 18: The Limit Does Not Exist

Celebrities can be talented, sure, but should they really be making wine? Join Judges Topher and Rachel as they use their oenological savvy and pop culture deep cuts to answer that very question. After drinking all the evidence and sorting their way through red herrings, they will determine whether some of Hollywood and music's biggest stars are, in fact, guilty of True Crimes Against Wine.

DEFENDANT: Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn EVIDENCE: Gogi "Goldie" Chardonnay 2018 SCENE OF THE CRIME: Sta Rita Hills, CA--Our Judges circle back to a small subregion of Santa Barbara to investigate a particularly delectable partnership riddled with multiple high profile suspects. Topher waxes theological and makes a cringe-worthy confession while Rachel plans an elopement with Fact Checker and reveals her only talent.

DEFENDANT: Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn   EVIDENCE: Gogi "Goldie" Chardonnay 2018   SCENE OF THE CRIME: Sta Rita Hills, CA -- Our Judges circle back to a small subregion of Santa Barbara to investigate a particularly delectable partnership riddled with multiple high profile suspects. Topher waxes theological and makes a cringe-worthy confession while Rachel plans an elopement with Fact Checker and reveals her only talent.

CASE 0130: Drunk Becomes Her

Judge Rachel reveals a not at all weird first crush, and good for her! Topher understands the assignment.

Judge Rachel reveals a not at all weird first crush, and good for her! Topher understands the assignment.

Sidebar Ep. 17: Who You Crushin’ On???

DEFENDANT: Drew Barrymore EVIDENCE: Barrymore Pinot Grigio by Carmel Road SCENE OF THE CRIME: Monterey, CA--Our Judges toast to true Hollywood royalty as they taste her elevated pinot grigio and find out what makes Drew the inspirational, talented, and endearing powerhouse she is. Fact Checker's scandalous secret vice is revealed.

DEFENDANT: Drew Barrymore   EVIDENCE: Barrymore Pinot Grigio by Carmel Road   SCENE OF THE CRIME: Monterey, CA -- Our Judges toast to true Hollywood royalty as they taste her elevated pinot grigio and find out what makes Drew the inspirational, talented, and endearing powerhouse she is. Fact Checker's scandalous secret vice is revealed.

CASE1029: Never Been Sloshed

Judge Rachel gets extra judge-y as she answers the second part of Thom's question, "Who is your LEAST favorite celebrity couple?" Topher is aghast at Rachel's answer and her predictions of an impending divorce.

Judge Rachel gets extra judge-y as she answers the second part of Thom's question, "Who is your LEAST favorite celebrity couple?" Topher is aghast at Rachel's answer and her predictions of an impending divorce.

Sidebar Ep. 16: Rachel’s Burn Book

DEFENDANT: Capt. Jean-Luc Picard EVIDENCE: Chateau Picard Grand Vin de Bordeaux SCENE OF THE CRIME: Saint Estephe, Bordeaux, France--Our Judges boldly go where no one has gone before as they take their farthest journey to date... Space, the final frontier! With their phasers set to sip, they not only explore one of the oldest and most regal regions of France, but also the beautiful, rich, and often barrier-breaking world of one of science fictions largest and most beloved franchises-- the Star Trek universe. Join us in celebrating (future) First Contact Day and may you all live long and prosper. MAKE IT SO!

DEFENDANT: Capt. Jean-Luc Picard   EVIDENCE: Chateau Picard Grand Vin de Bordeaux   SCENE OF THE CRIME: Saint Estephe, Bordeaux, France -- Our Judges boldly go where no one has gone before as they take their farthest journey to date... Space, the final frontier! With their phasers set to sip, they not only explore one of the oldest and most regal regions of France, but also the beautiful, rich, and often barrier-breaking world of one of science fictions largest and most beloved franchises-- the Star Trek universe. Join us in celebrating (future) First Contact Day and may you all live long and prosper. MAKE IT SO!

CASE 0128: Beams, Borg, and Bar Rodents, Oh My!

Rachel enthuses about her favorite celebrity couple and our judges wax poetic about Hollywood love.

Rachel enthuses about her favorite celebrity couple and our judges wax poetic about Hollywood love.

Sidebar Ep. 15: Rachel’s TrapperKeeper of Love

Wine list got you stymied? Unsure what to do when the server brings the bottle to the table? And what do you do with the cork??? Judge Topher is here to allay your anxiety and put a stopper in the awkwardness!

Wine list got you stymied? Unsure what to do when the server brings the bottle to the table? And what do you do with the cork??? Judge Topher is here to allay your anxiety and put a stopper in the awkwardness!

Sidebar Ep. 14: How To Order Wine (And Look Really Cool When You Do)

DEFENDANT: Ryan Reynolds EVIDENCE: Aviation Gin SCENE OF THE CRIME: Portland, Oregon -- Our Judges sojourn deep into the foggy, fern-laden forests of Oregon, where they are treated to a private gin tasting with sex symbol and ballet primadonna Ryan Reynolds. While they are there they discuss the super hero's career, his lovely wife, and most importantly, hanky panky.

DEFENDANT: Ryan Reynolds EVIDENCE: Aviation Gin SCENE OF THE CRIME: Portland, Oregon -- Our Judges sojourn deep into the foggy, fern-laden forests of Oregon, where they are treated to a private gin tasting with sex symbol and ballet primadonna Ryan Reynolds. While they are there they discuss the super hero's career, his lovely wife, and most importantly, hanky panky.

CASE 0127: This Is A Deadpool Meta Reference

Judge Rachel is asked to explain "the situation" with Armie Hammer and gives some tasty insights into the more savory aspects of cancel culture.

Judge Rachel is asked to explain "the situation" with Armie Hammer and gives some tasty insights into the more savory aspects of cancel culture.

Sidebar Ep. 13: Eat Your Heart Out, Armie Hammer!

Join our flawless Judges as they review the transcripts of a year's worth of trials. The highs, the lows, the shockers and the syrah. Our celebrity defendants have provided gossip as juicy as their wines, and our Judges have proven themselves as sober in their rulings as they feel in they are in their hearts. (Fact Checker was not available for verification.)--Thanks for a great year. And don't worry, the crime wave continues! Cheers!

Join our flawless Judges as they review the transcripts of a year's worth of trials. The highs, the lows, the shockers and the syrah. Our celebrity defendants have provided gossip as juicy as their wines, and our Judges have proven themselves as sober in their rulings as they feel in they are in their hearts. (Fact Checker was not available for verification.) -- Thanks for a great year. And don't worry, the crime wave continues! Cheers!

A Very Good Year

True Crimes Against Wine

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