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Dirty Sons of Pitches

Every week, Nate, Ben, ad Eric, with the occasional special guest, talk movies and entertainment news, and then play a series of movie-related games, including the central game, The Pitch, wherein our heroes take a concept and try and turn it into a working movie. Most of the time the podcasts will just descend into girlish laughter.Other reoccurring games include Defend Yourself, where one person must defend their enjoyment of an indefensible movie, Sequel-ize It, Porno-ize It, Recast It, Genre Swap, Adapt the Unadaptable, and Vanity Project, wherein our heroes tailor a movie project to a star.

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Ep. 249: Frozen 2, Doctor Sleep, and Switch the Pitch -- Climax

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are spinning, twirling, leaping, and tripping balls to try and make heads or tails out of the French movie "Climax," one of the worst films of 2019. The guys pitch their own version on the spot with Switch the Pitch and then conclude with America's favorite game, "So Shalit Be." Available on iTunes and Spotify Episode 249 includes: -"Star Trek" is back, maybe this time, with Noah Hawley in the captain's chair. -"Frozen II" let something go... its sense of quality. -"Doctor Sleep" is a movie that serves two masters and also functions as Stephen King's X-Men. -The guys try and question the point of Gaspar Noe's "Climax." -This Week's Pitch -- Switch the Pitch: Climax -Noe's movie gets rewritten on the spot as Ben and Nate pitch a new version with a random generator for different plot elements. -This Week's Game -- So Shalit Be! -To summarize the movies reviewed this week, the guys channel the spirit of famed film critic Gene Shalit to come up with increasingly lurid blurbs for them.

1hr 42mins

24 Nov 2019

Rank #1

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Ep. 260: Classics Catch-Up (or) Hot Garbage? -- "Joe" (1970) / "Bug" (1975)

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are back with their social distanced revamped podcast where they talk new movies they've seen, including a classic and cult movie that they have not have ever watched before. This week the guys discuss the 1970 hit "Joe" with Peter Boyle as a violent conservative crank, and the cult movie of renown is 1975's "Bug," the last William Castle-produced movie about killer intelligent fire-starting bugs. Available on iTunes and Spotfy Episode 260 includes: -R.I.P. Brian Dennehy, the dad from "Tommy Boy." -Corona discussion over what the "new normal" might look like in the months to come until a vaccine. -Nate reviews "The Rhythm Section," "The Platform," and Blumhouse's "Fantasy Island." -Ben raves about "Freaks" (not the 1930s movie). -Classic Movie -- "Joe" (1970) -The guys watch the Oscar-nominated tale of a conservative bigot that urges for the murder of hippies and other social groups he dislikes. Totally not relevant for today's conservative audiences. -Cult Movie -- "Bug" (1975) -The guys talk about a William Castle film where bugs have evolved to start fires and attack humans.

1hr 19mins

17 Apr 2020

Rank #2

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Ep. 252: The Best Movies of 2019 with special guest George!

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are looking back on the year as a whole and charting the highs and lows in a huge two-part podcast with special guest of the show, George. On this first part, the guys will quickly review some other 2019 releases before sharing their ten best films of 2019. Part two will be uploaded soon highlighting the worst films of 2019.  Available on iTunes and Spotify Episode 252 includes: -A quick rundown of other 2019 movies not making lists including "Spies in Disguise," "Jumanji: The Next Level," "Bombshell," "Richard Jewell" and others. -The guys share their individual lists for Ten Best Films of 2019 as well as underrated films from the year.

1hr 39mins

3 Jan 2020

Rank #3

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What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- "Cats" (2019)

You've been eagerly anticipating it and now it's here. The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" just experienced the big screen movie musical "Cats" and have rushed home to record their immediate thoughts on this insane movie punishment. Calling all jellicle cats. Get ready. You'll never be the same again. Available on iTunes and Spotify

57mins

18 Dec 2019

Rank #4

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Ep. 250: Knives Out, mysteries, Charlie's Angels, Richard Jewell, and time-traveling phalluses

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are picking apart the clues to deduce the real murderers in honor of the new twisty drawing room mystery, "Knives Out." The guys pitch variations on the Agatha Christie-style murder mysteries and then play another rendition of their closing game, "So Shalit Be," but this one goes into even extra special bizarre territory, and that's saying something. Available on iTunes and Spotify Episode 250 includes: -Trailer responses: "Black Widow," "No Time to Die," and "Free Guy." -"Aladdin" spinoff time with the only white character! -The "Charlie's Angels" reboot is a hot mess. -Ben watched the John Cena-as-fireman-family film. and he kind of liked it. No joke. -Nate highly recommends "Marriage Story" and says "Uncut Gems" is admirable, but boy oh boy does he not think too highly of Clint Eastwood's "Richard Jewell." -"Knives Out" is a different kind of murder mystery and it charms Nate and mostly works for Ben. -This Week's Pitch -- Drawing Room Mysteries! -Ben pitches murder mysteries inside the White House, a cruise ship, a super hero gathering, and inside the mind of a really hacky writer. -This Week's Game -- So Shalit Be! -The guys conclude another edition by adopting the persona of America's favorite 90-year-old film critic and providing increasingly insane blurbs for the movies reviewed on the podcast. This one gets... weird.

1hr 28mins

10 Dec 2019

Rank #5

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DSOP Presents: Saturday Night Jive -- "Pootie Tang" (2001)/Shane Gillis Controversy

While the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are getting paid to write, enjoy the latest edition of Ben and George's podcast "Saturday Night Jive" where they analyze a terrible movie starring an SNL cast member, and this week it's 2001's blaxploitation rip, "Pootie Tang," written and directed by future Me Too star, Louie C.K. It also presents a strong discussion point for the nature of controversial humor, the difference between racist humor and humor making fun of racism, and whether or not comedian Shane Gillis deserved to be deposed from the new cast of SNL over his past offensive statements. Available on iTunes and Spotify

56mins

30 Sep 2019

Rank #6

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Ep. 247: Joker, Sony and Marvel makeup, and can you still be funny?

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have triumphantly returned after a long though busy break. They have a lot of movies to cover and in honor of the new gritty, R-rated "Joker" film they will be pitching solo ventures in the same dark vein for Batman's other villains. The guys wind up an extra long podcast by channeling the spirit of Gene Shalit to come up with absurd blurbs for a selection of the movies reviewed. Available on iTunes and Spotify Episode 247 includes: -Sony and Marvel kiss and make up realizing they both really like money. -Martin Scorsese says Marvel movies aren't movies. -Ben says "The Addams Family" is a nice surprise. -Nate spits out reviews for "Hustlers," "Ad Astra," "Gemini Man," "Judy," "Parasite," and the Fred Durst-directed, John Travolta-starring "The Fanatic." -The new "Joker" is good but Ben contests mishandles the entire identity of what makes Joker the Joker. The guys also discuss the nature of comedy in this new era and whether Todd Phillips has any point in his declaration that you can't be funny anymore. -This Week's Pitch -- Joker-fy Batman Villain Solo Films! -The guys try and pitch gritty, R-rated solo outings and cast movies for Catwoman, Clay Face, Mr. Freeze, the Penguin, and a dozen other rogues. -This Week's Game -- So Shalit Be! -The guys take on the persona of America's favorite televised film critic to offer increasingly bizarre pun-laden blurbs for this week's films reviewed.

1hr 42mins

15 Oct 2019

Rank #7

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Ep. 258: Classics Catch-Up (or) Hot Garbage? -- "Casablanca" (1942) / "Shanks" (1974)

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have had to retool under their social distancing, and with the lack of new releases for the present time being, the guys are taking the extra free time to catch up on older movies they haven't seen, both classics and cult curiosities. The guys watch much hyped WWII romance "Casablanca" and then the world's most famous mime killing people and reanimating their bodies in the horror film from 1974, "Shanks." Are they classics or are they... hot garbage? Available on iTunes and Spotify Episode 258 includes: -Nate introduces the new show format and offers his takes on recent 2020 film watches for "Guns Akimbo" and "The Hunt." -Classic Movie: "Casablanca" (1942) -The guys discuss, in separate parts, their assessment of a movie widely regarded as one of the greatest of all time, even if it doesn't have vampires in it. -Cult Movie: "Shanks" (1974) -Can Marcel Marceau succeed in the realm of cinema as a killer puppeteer? Find out in this William Castle-directed movie that Ben will certainly enjoy more.

1hr

3 Apr 2020

Rank #8

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DSOP Presents: Saturday Night Jive -- The WORST Episode of SNL Ever! (1995)

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are busy writing some paid projects, so in the meantime, and to use the last of the monthly space, check out "Saturday Night Jive," the podcast by Ben and George covering movies starring SNL alums. With this special 200th edition of their podcast, the guys watch and pick apart what is widely regarded as the worst SNL episode of all time, the 1995 Paul Reiser/Annie Lennox debacle. Discover just how bad it can get, how close the show was to cancellation, the controversy over Jay Mohr stealing other people's writing, the weird faces of Columbus public access TV of past, and George's reading habits. Available on iTunes and Spotify

1hr 17mins

30 Nov 2019

Rank #9

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Ep. 248: Jay and Silent Bob Reboot, Jojo Rabbit, More Star Wars Shake-Ups, and Boots Everywhere!

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have completed their writing project and are eager to dig into some of the Oscar-ready movies of this new awards season, as well as special Halloween treats for them, like seeing Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes live and in-person for the roadshow edition of "Jay and Silent Bob Reboot." In honor of that, Ben puts together some youth-chasing reboot pitches, and the guys conclude another hearty podcast with America's favorite game, "So Shalit Be," wherein the guys imitate famed critic Gene Shalit to varying degrees of madness and stupidity. Available on iTunes and Spotify Episode 248 includes: -New "Star Wars" Episode IX trailer, Benioff & Weiss depart writing "Star Wars," and new "Game of Thrones" spinoff after another spinoff dropped. -Ever wanted to fast forward through a Netflix movie but didn't want to hit the fast forward button? -"Jojo Rabbit" and "The Lighthouse" are two very weird, potentially off-putting indies that succeed on their own terms. Only one of them involves an imaginary Hitler. -"Zombieland 2" is more of the same but also a clear leftover of the TV series that never was. -"Jay and Silent Bob Reboot" is a movie made for the fans, in both ways good and not quite as good. -This Week's Pitch -- Hip Reboots! -In the style of Kevin Smith's reboot, Be quickly runs through some ideas to reboot other movies for a hip, diverse, younger crowd. -This Week's Game -- So Shalit Be! -The guys run through the movies covered this week by channeling the spirit of movie critic and pun lover Gene Shalit and supplying increasingly insane blurbs. This week it's all about boots and the places they'll go.

1hr 37mins

1 Nov 2019

Rank #10

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Ep. 253: The Worst Films of 2019 with special jellicle guest George!

And now "The Dirty Sons of Pitches" present part two of their yearly look back and the lows of cinema in 2019, with special friend of the podcast, George. Available on iTunes and Spotify Episode 253 includes: -The guys recount their bottom ten worst films of 2019, overrated films, and some bearing dishonorable mention. Expect lots of "Cats."

1hr 25mins

8 Jan 2020

Rank #11

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What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- 2010s Worst? "A Serbian Film" (2010)/ "InAPPropriate Comedy" (2013)

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have made a promise to their listeners to determine the worst film of the last decade, and they will see this promise through. Their tournament of bad had excluded two titles, movies that were believed to be unbeatable for the worst of the worst. So Ben and Nate watched "A Serbian Film" and "InAPPropriate Comedy" back-to-back, and have come to some surprising conclusions. Available on iTunes and Spotify

54mins

8 Mar 2020

Rank #12

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What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- "Doom" (2005)/"Doom: Annihilation (2019)/Video Game Movies

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have to wait to talk about recent movies they've seen to clear embargoes, so they've put together a double feature "What the Hell Did We Just Watch?" podcast covering the 2005 "Doom" feature film and the new 2019 direct-to-DVD reboot, "Doom: Annihilation." The guys also talk about the newest and revamped live-action Sonic the Hedgehog trailer, video game movies and their sad history, whether a good video game movie can be made, and the guys pitch bizarre concepts for modern games. Available on iTunes and Spotify

1hr 13mins

13 Nov 2019

Rank #13

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Ep. 251: All "Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker" (All SPOILERS too)!

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have traveled to a galaxy far far away and come back to do what the Internet endlessly seems to do, talk about "Star Wars." It's Episode 9 time with the return of director J.J. Abrams and the poking in the eye of Rian Johnson and the previous installment. The guys square the new trilogy and assess where "Star Wars" could be headed next. Available on iTunes and Spotify Episode 251 includes: -The guys search their feelings to discuss "Rise of Skywalker" and how it stacks up to the other new entries in this trilogy. Ben, surprisingly, becomes the defender of the "Star Wars" legacy. -The guys discuss the nature of fandom, the future of "Star Wars," and what it means to be a "Star Wars" film. -This Week's Pitch -- New Saga Re-Write! -Ben offers his take on what Episodes 7-9 could have been using the same key characters of this new trilogy.

1hr 4mins

22 Dec 2019

Rank #14

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Ep. 255: Color Out of Space, Super Bowl trailers, Worst Films of 2010s Tourney!

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking some very bad movies to task now that we've entered a new decade of cinematic promise. The guys kick off a new feature for 2020 where they whittle down a list of bad movies released from 2010 to 2019, the worst of the worst, and decide what will make their ultimate tournament of the worst movies of the previous decade. With no pitch and few movies to review this episode, the emphasis is on setting up this new bracket of bad. Available on iTunes and Spotify Episode 255 includes: -R.I.P. Oscar winner Kobe Bryant, who also, maybe, was some kind of sports person. -Super Bowl trailer reactions: "A Quiet Place 2," "Fast and Furious 9," and Marvel's Disney+ shows. -"Color Out of Space" is H.P. Lovecraft done right. -Nate says "The Gentlemen" isn't stand-up Ritchie. -Bonus Discussion: Worst Films of 2010s Tournament! -Ben and Nate debate which 32 worst films of the last decade will earn a spot in their Not-So Sweet Sixteen and then be placed in brackets to compete in upcoming episodes as a new feature. -This Week's Game -- So Shalit Be! -Once more, the guys adopt the spirit of famed film critic Gene Shalit to provide bizarre blurbs for the films reviewed on this episode.

1hr 31mins

6 Feb 2020

Rank #15

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Ep. 254: Oscar nominations and January dumps (Doolittle, Like a Boss, Underwater)

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have over a dozen movies to talk about this edition, some of them from 2019 playing catch-up, both good and bad, and several new year releases, mostly bad. However, the guys are shocked to discover that "Doolittle" is not the disaster it's billed. With no time for a pitch or a game this edition, the guys spend their time discussing the recent Oscar nominees and speeding through all the films seen. Available on iTunes and Spotify Episode 254 includes: Oscar nominations! Ben and Nate run down the nominees in major categories along with their thoughts and predictions. -Ya'll see that Morbius trailer? Uh huh. -Nate talks about possibly one of the worst movies of 2019, the exploitation-heavy "She's Just a Shadow." -Two January surprises: both "Underwater" and the much-maligned "Doolittle" are surprisingly enjoyable.

1hr 36mins

19 Jan 2020

Rank #16

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Ep. 259: Classics Catch-Up (or) Hot Garbage? -- "Barry Lyndon" (1975) / "Society" (1989)

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are keeping their social distancing but joining forces through Skype to record together. It's the first time they've recorded together since watching "A Serbian Film" and much has changed. They review recent movies and then discuss a film classic ("Barry Lyndon") they had not previously watched as well as a cult film of renown ("Society").  Available on iTunes and Spotify Episode 259 includes: -The guys respond to a new COVID-19 world and its impact on culture and politics. -Ben reviews "The Hunt," "Swallow," and "The Room." -Nate reviews "The Boy II," "Bloodshot," and "I Still Believe." -Classic Movie -- "Barry Lyndon" (1975) -The guys discuss Stanley Kubrick's three-hour costume drama and its artistry, length, purpose, tone, and lasting effect. -Cult Movie -- "Society" (1989) -Ever wondered what the elite do in the privacy of their rich houses? If you guessed "dissolve into a slimy flesh orgy of body horror" then congrats.

1hr 18mins

9 Apr 2020

Rank #17

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Ep. 257: Onward, The Invisible Man, socially relevant monsters, and the Not-So Elite 8!

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are jazzed for the new Blumhouse horror reboot of "The Invisible Man" that they're pitching reboots for the Mummy, Dracula, Frankenstein, and the Wolfman too. They also continue their self-punishing tournament determining the worst film of the 2010s decade, narrowing down to a final Four of Awful. Then they close out with a rushed version of everyone's favorite game, "So Shalit Be," before bidding goodbye on an extra-sized podcast. Available on iTunes and Spotify Episode 257 includes: -Gropers of the Week: Timothy Hutton, plus Harvey Weinstein verdict arrives. -Spielberg out for Indy 5. James Mangold in. For now. -Pixar's "Onward" works better as an emotional journey than as a comic fantasy, go figure. -"The Invisible Man" is the first great film of 2020. This Week's Pitch -- Universal Monster Reboots! -The guys pitch movies following writer/director Leigh Whannell's formula of grounding the famous monsters in real-world and socially relevant angles. -Bonus Discussion: Not-So Elite 8 of Worst of 2010s! -It's the final eight worst of the worst for the dishonorable title of worst film of the 2010s decade.

1hr 56mins

6 Mar 2020

Rank #18