Rank #1: RIverdale - Chapter 26 - The Tell Tale Heart
Alice Cooper serves a great breakfast the morning after a murder in her living room. Archie realizes Agent Adams wasn't dating him for his mind. Hermione leans in (to organized crime). Rose insists Riverdale is current events.
Apr 24 2018
Rank #2: Riverdale - Chapter 25 - The Wicked and the Divine
Veronica partakes of the the age old Catholic tradition of singing Bittersweet Symphony on the altar of a church; Archie wears his tighest shirt yet to fondle cigars at Hiram's behest; Betty wears a questionable dress to deflower her boyfriend. Also! Ryan tells his deep dark fanfic secrets.
Apr 03 2018
Rank #3: Riverdale - Chapter 20 - Tales from the Darkside
This triptych is a trip. Crime, craziness and creepin, just another day in the life of Riverdale teens.
Jan 17 2018
Rank #4: Riverdale - Chapter 18 - When a Stranger Calls
The Black Hood keeps ringing Betty up to tell dad jokes and that's uncomfortable for everyone. But our eyes are on the Pussycats this episode, as they stop a sexual assault in progress and stomp a slimy dude. HEART EYES. (also cheryl and josie forever, rose will never stop with that).
Nov 28 2017
Rank #5: Riverdale - Chapter 16 - Watcher in the Woods
Kevin goes looking for sexy fun in the woods, but it turns out the woods are full of murder. Veronica's mom calls her "thirsty" and we question that word choice. And Archie gets his football buddies together for a an extremely heterosexual shirtless, hooded video shoot.
Nov 13 2017
Rank #6: Riverdale - Chapter 15
Pop's is in danger of closing, Juggie's dad is in danger of a long prison sentence, Betty is in danger of a harsh read from her mom. Drink a milkshake, it'll be ok.
Nov 03 2017
Rank #7: RIverdale - Chapter 14
Season 2 is here! Daddy's home, Cheryl's slightly singed, and the Pussycats are giving us llfe (1 of 9, to be exact). Welcome back to nostalgic murder town!
Oct 24 2017
Rank #8: Riverdale - Chapter 13
It's the Season 1 finale! All the OTPs are in effect - Archie and Veronica! Betty and Jughead! Cheryl and an icy river!
Oct 18 2017
Rank #9: Riverdale - Chapter 9
Cheryl taps a maple tree, Archie becomes a paid escort, there's a lot of businesstalk and Rose and Ryan grapple with how the hell anyone can talk about Glee.
Oct 10 2017
Rank #10: Riverdale - Chapter 36 - Labor Day
It's an all-American Labor Day in Riverdale. Archie's on trial, the entire town has sworn off wearing shirts, and Cheryl had such a great summer she just has to shoot someone in the shoulder for joy. Come on down to the leech filled swimming hole and jump in to Season 3!
Oct 16 2018