Rank #1: End of Series One (time for a wee break)
After 20 episodes and a thousand years of Scottish history Mountebank is taking a wee break. I will be back in no time at all with my episodes on Mary Queen of Scots, in the meantime please continue to nominate deserving folk to receive bottles and whisky and mind and leave me a wee bit of money on 'Buy Me a Coffee' so I can buy them :)
Oct 24 2020
Rank #2: Mountebank History of Scotland #20 - James V
James V was the greatest patron of renaissance architecture in Scotland, he loved beautiful paintings, beautiful buildings, beautiful poetry but also loved tying people to barrels of tar and burning them alive; he's Scotland's Hannibal Lecter - he didn't eat them unless they were deep-fat fried
Oct 16 2020
Rank #3: Mountebank History of Scotland #19 - James IV
James IV was Scotland's renaissance king and by far the most popular of the seven king James of Scotland, just like the Rocky Franchise; although James IV didn't defeat his enemy, in fact he died spectacularly so I suppose he's probably more like Apollo Creed
Oct 09 2020
Rank #4: Mountebank History of Scotland #18 - James III
James III is arguably the worst of all the Stewart monarchs which is really saying something, that’s like being the most incompetent member of Boris Johnson's cabinet, no mean feat.
Oct 03 2020
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Rank #5: Mountebank History of Scotland #17 - James II
James II was a king with a deep fascination, an obsession, with cannons and heavy artillery who was ultimately killed by one of his own cannons - so just like every American who buys a gun to 'protect their family' then ends up getting shot by their toddler.
Sep 24 2020
Rank #6: Mountebank History of Scotland #16 - James I
James I is the most enigmatic of Stewart monarchs, no one seems to able to decide if he was utterly brilliant or utterly shite - he was the 15th century's 'Gerry Cinnamon'
Sep 10 2020
Rank #7: Mountebank History of Scotland #15 - Robert II and Robert III
Robert II despite being well past his best when he became king Robert II continued to tour Scotland until he was 74 years old, he had 20 children through two marriages, and was for all intent purposes utter shite - Rod Stewart has very much modelled his career on that of 'Rod II'. His successor Robert III considered himself to be the worst king Scotland has ever had, his dying wish was that he be buried in a midden so they did the next best thing and buried him in Paisley.
Sep 03 2020
Rank #8: Mountebank History of Scotland #14 - David II
David II was the son of Robert The Bruce and that's a lot of pressure, they are some seriously big boots to fill - it's a bit like how Sir Alex Ferguson's son is a football manager, your dad is the most successful, the most famous and instantly recognisable Scottish king of all time and you're managing Peterborough United or whatever Gammon town in England Darren Ferguson is the manager of.
Aug 28 2020
Rank #9: Mountebank History of Scotland #13 - Robert The Bruce (The Declaration of Arbroath)
The Declaration of Arbroath was affirmed at Arboarth Abbey on the 6th of April 1320. The Declaration decreed that should the king be deemed to be an ineffectual leader then his subjects had the right to replace him - this was back in the days when being a complete f*ck head was seen as being undesirable in a leader, unlike now where it is a necessary attribute to become leader of the 'free world'
Aug 13 2020
Rank #10: Mountebank History of Scotland #12 - Robert The Bruce (Bannockburn)
The Battle of Bannockburn fought on the 24th of June 1314 was an incredible victory for the Scots army led by Robert Bruce against the superior English forces of Edward II. It made the scores Scotland one - England a miiiiiiiillion. By winning the battle of Bannockburn Robert Bruce secured his kingdom and effectively ensured the survival of Scotland as a nation. Bannockburn has remained Scotland's most impressive victory - or at least it was until James McFadden scored that goal at the Parc de Princes in 2007
Aug 07 2020