Decoding Narcissists, Manipulation & Toxic Ideas, with Frederik Ribersson

Narcissists often make snarky remarks and claim they are "only joking". We might be tempted to believe them. But there is an objective method to determine if what they say actually qualified as a joke. Or if it is just being mean. Tune in to find out what this method is.

How do you deal with narcissists over Christmas and other holidays?

Sometimes we feel stuck with narcissists, whether partners, family members, or partners of family members. So, what can we do to limit the damage they can cause during holidays?

This episode is available on the YouTube channel with full visual illustrations to help make sense. Here is the link:

https://youtu.be/PLNn2lzd1B0

Podcast exclusive. We can create a scale of toxicity from 0 to 10. Doing so empowers us and helps us compare what we do to what others do. I used this recently with a client who wondered if he had done something to turn his ex into a fully blown psycho who turned their children against him and destroyed his car with a baseball bat. My response: maybe. But highly unlikely. In this episode, I share some of the ideas I share with him.

When we're stressed, our personality can change. Narcissists like stressing us. That tells us... it can be helpful to dig a bit deeper ;-)

Our personality changes between when we are relaxed, between our everyday self, and when we are stressed or overextended. Perhaps this holds a key to understanding ourselves better?

Watch on YouTube with all visuals and drawings here: https://youtu.be/X7sGDTJCMhA

Relationships with narcissists feel like we're playing heads or tails: heads they win, tails you lose. Sounds fun?  

We can use logic and statistics to unravel their toxic games, let me show you how.  

There's one good place to argue with them. And that is inside your head.  

We can test their statements with a simple sentence: if this is true, what else must be true.  

Narcissists accuse us to things, such as having an unhealthy obsession with sleep. How do we deal with that? By taking it seriously. Let me show you how.  And in any relationship, who is the judge?

Life can feel really lonely, especially after being with a narcissist or a toxic person. When I travelled to Kazakhstan, I met these therapists who did body work on me. Despite not speaking the same language, everything was easy: "you are here, you are in pain, we will help you."

Having a platform such as this one is crazy. Being able to record thoughts and share them, and have people tell me this is helpful, this is crazy. I wouldn't have dreamt it was possible during my darkest moments. 

So, using this platform: you, dear listener, are just like me. The support I received, it is there for you too. You may not know it yet, but it is there. You are not alone and many, many people do actually care.

Thank you for listening and take good care of yourself - and of your "elephant".

Watch the video here:

Three stories of the same #narcissist who loved artificially creating unnecessary problems in order to get attention, play victim, and extract attention from his friends. But we eventually got fed up with his BS, and reminded him of reality: if anyone could complain in a situation, it wasn't him as he was the unreasonable one.  

The situations highlighted that he didn't want solutions, he didn't want to improve things, and when offered ways to deescalate situations, he would just get upset.  

In this video, I share three (hopefully rather amusing) stories about this individual.  

If you are struggling to healing after a narcissist and could use some help, why not see whether the workshop "Healing After Narcissists" might offer something useful? 30 day money back guarantee: https://healingafternarcissists.ribersson.com

#npd #narcissists

Narcissists exhaust us. Why? Because they always want attention. That means they don't let us have any space for building anything meaningful. And, as we fail to progress, they probably get frustrated with the fact that we're stagnating, and are oblivious that it is largely because of their behaviour and drama. A bit like trying to full a bucket with holes in it.

So, we can decide what future we want, and whether it is even possible to get that future with them.

#npd #narcissism #narcissist

Watch the conversation on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/y92Didt7WH8

What if "repressing emotions" was the mistake that makes us vulnerable to narcissists? And, even if we avoid them, doesn't it just pollute our lives?

My colleague and friend Yana Govorit (https://www.instagram.com/yanagovorit/), myself and other colleagues worked with hundreds of people during the FourE festival in Almaty, Kazakhstan. We saw multiple cases of people with repressed anger and sadness, closed hearts, and dissatisfaction in their lives.

In this interview, we speak of emotions, the consequences of repressing them, why we repress them, differences in how relationships are perceived in the West and in Central Asia, finding balance, narcissists, healthy boundaries and far more.

Having spent time in Central Asia, I find this group of therapists approaches life with far less "noise" than we do in the West. Their approach has helped me see and think more clearly, be more aligned with myself, and in turn help others. Without them, I would not have been able to articulate any of the ideas in these videos.

Whereas most speak little English, Yana is fluent. I am please to share this conversation with you. Enjoy the Truth Bombs she drops!  And let me know in the comments what stood out to you. As always, liking, subscribing and commenting really helps the algorithm notice this content - and I appreciate everyone supporting this channel.  Thank you!   #emotions #relationship #narcissist #npd

*** Watch the full video here and remember to subscribe on YouTube for all visuals ***

Moving on after narcissists is a real challenge. If you're watching these videos, you've probably realised this. And perhaps you wonder "even though I've watched so much and I've learned so much, why am I still stuck? Why am I not seeing progress in healing after a toxic relationship with a narcissist?"  Or maybe you're wondering "why do I STILL keep attracting narcissists?"

Well, healing after a narcissist requires us to mourn one person. And few people even mourn that person. (And when we do, it REALLY hurts the narcissist!).

But there's another person whom we must mourn so that we truly move on AND stop continuing to attract narcissists. Most people ever mourn that person, and perhaps that is why they don't move on.

I'll talk about both and hopefully help you be ready to mourn the second one, so you can finally move one and stop attracting narcissists.

#npd #narcissism #narcissist

Watch on YouTube here so you don't miss out on all the visuals.

We can drive narcissists mad using self-care and logic. In this video, I'll show you how. Toxic people want to make our life worse. So self-care makes narcissists furious, because it prevents them from harming us. Narcissists also hate logic, because logic prevents them from simply imposing their will on others.

So when we combine self-care and logic, narcissists go mad, they can't argue, they are rendered powerless - and we reduce the risk of being manipulated by narcissists and other toxic people.  And furthermore, self-care IS the only logical way to behave IF we want a healthy life. Maybe narcissists can even help us choose a healthy life?

So what are the benefits? - a healthier life - boring narcissists out of our life (ultimate narcissist repellant) - the immature satisfaction of seeing them get upset because we start respecting ourselves - developing healthier boundaries.

#npd #narcissist #narcissism

When we know someone is unreasonable, a narcissist or toxic, why do we still argue with them?

Let's examine 3 valid reasons for arguing with someone. 3 reasons why arguing might be a waste of time.

And perhaps the real reason why we might still argue with them, even though we'd rationally know it is a waste of time.

Watch on YouTube for all of the visuals:

https://youtu.be/0EmbSmSUnQg

We know narcissists love to play stupid. They'll even confuse us with hyperbole: when someone else uses it, they'll take it literally. And when they use it, they'll sometimes claim it's hyperbole, or it's literal, depending on how we react. But once we learn to recognise hyperbole, we learn which questions to ask to stop them from messing with our heads (and hearts).

Watch on YouTube so you don't miss the visuals: https://youtu.be/KHiNJXIwSug

"I asked her this question. And instead of replying, she just smirked at me. She had been unmasked."

I had lunch with a woman I've known for over 25 years. I picked up on some very unpleasant behaviours that made the conversation terribly draining. She complained about her marriage but... something was off with her description. And I asked her a specific question. Instead of answering, she just smirked. I had uncovered her toxic game.

In this podcast, I share the 5 red flags - and the last one will probably shock you.

Link to the video here, do consider following on YouTube for more visuals:

https://youtu.be/1C0Axg_r21A

Narcissists hold us hostage to their unreasonable demands and behaviours. So why not learn from the FBI how to deal with these insane individuals? It won't make them sane (nothing will), but it will reduce the damage they can inflict onto you.

In part 2 of this series, I explain what you must understand about the interaction, and how to frame it to reduce the risk they walk all over you.

In the video, you'll see diagrams that help illustrate the ideas. You can watch the video (and many others) on YouTube: https://youtu.be/DBv9iXl-4GQ

And subscribe on YouTube at www.youtube.com/c/fribersson

#npd #narcissism #narcissist

Narcissists will take advantage of any trait we possess. And when we view a trait as "positive", we are even more vulnerable to them taking advantage of us.  Watch on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/w5rotcE5cvQ

Once we understand which traits are common to "empaths", we can observe how narcissists take advantage of this, as it makes people easier to manipulate.

I came across this picture of "12 Signs you are an empath" and, when we use the narcissist filter, it highlights ways "empaths" are vulnerable to narcissists.

While the "empath" filter is helpful to recognise traits that we might otherwise miss, its utility is limited. However, once we learn to "tone down" a bit how these signs manifest themself, we make it easier to avoid being manipulated by narcissists and other malignant people.

If you believe you might be an empath, whether or not you have encountered narcissists, sociopaths or psychopaths, it might be safer to be aware of these traits, to reduce your vulnerability.

If you found this helpful, you might enjoy the workshop "Healing After Narcissists: https://healingafternarcissists.ribersson.com - with a 30 day money back guarantee.

#empath #npd #narcissist

Let's examine 6 ways we can tell if someone is toxic (for us) but observing how we are reacting unconsciously to them.  Instead of debating how and why someone is toxic or is a narcissist, how about we observe how our body reacts?

It is possible that our body is telling us EVERYTHING we need to know about the situation - and whether or not it is working out for us.

In this video, I share 3 symptoms related to our body, and 3 related to OUR behaviours.

By putting the focus back on US, we empower ourselves and avoid senseless debates.

After all, if a relationship is NOT working out for us, it isn't working our, regardless what the reasons are!

And learning to listen to ourselves (again? For a change?) is liberating!

We know that narcissists are *like* vampires, but what if they actually literally were vampires (minus their ability to turn into bats - although we don't really know what they do when we are not looking...)?

Maybe, if we knew that they sucked away our energy, drained our focus and life, and ultimately attempted to turn US into undead, maybe then we would be more careful around vampires? I mean narcissists.

Maybe, if we took seriously tales that warn us of the monsters inside of us, maybe then we would be less vulnerable to attacks by these monsters?

Maybe the Vampire stories are warnings that we did not heed.

And maybe, if we see the commonalities between narcissists and vampires, we will learnt to take the threat of narcissists more seriously, so that we can beat narcissists, escape from narcissists and - last but not least - heal from narcissists?