Rank #1: Episode 1 - Stab It in the Zorak
The worst D&D actual play podcast. And title is VERY subject to change! Schedule still uncertain, but we'll play it by ear don't worry about it. Have fun!
Apr 23 2018
Rank #2: Bonus Episode - Lore Dump
You can listen to this for a bunch of lore! Or you can skip it and roll with it! Or you can just read this: Long ago, there was the First Tree. From which, all forests, flowers, and plant life grew. From this, fruit was born, and from this fruit, other gods emerged. The first was a dryad known as the Allmother, creator of all dryadkind. She spoke to the tree, and asked her to introduce more life to the world, and so she did. Vyn, the archivist, recorded the history of the world as he created his chosen people: the illithids. The world was peaceful, but boring, so the First Tree then created Mahurabi, Prince of All. He went east, making promise after promise with the dryads in exchange for land. Ultimately his promises were delivered, but not in the way the dryads hoped, as he soon had a massive desert for his people, the efreet. Upset by this, the Allmother asked the First Tree for a champion to wage war with Mahurabi. She was generous, and gave her Vestas the Wise, an iron general who built many soldiers for himself. When their army approached the border to the desert, Mahurabi snuck away, back into the forst, and disguised himself as the Allmother. He tricked the First Tree into making something more worth fighting than himself, and into the great sea went the Eyeless One, source of storms. Vestas left the desert, searching the world for this opponent, unable to ever track it down. Eventually he came back to the First Tree, and begged her to give him better tools, better resources, for his massive army had fallen into disrepair. The First Tree sighed, and gave him Davryx the Bronze, a great dragon who would create more dragons, as well as the first forge. Vestas continued to wander, continued to wage this endless war on everything, and the gods grew tired. They pleaded with the First Tree to give them something that could stop him, and the First Tree ignored their pleas. Seeking to solve the problem herself, the Allmother contacted Mahurabi, despite everything. Mahurabi stole a fruit from the First Tree, and the Allmother used it to create Torvus, the first human, who in turn created humanity. Humans would serve the other races, the gods, and help them to eventually stop Vestas the Wise's massive army. Torvus, however, was greedy, and also deceitful, nearly as much as Mahurabi, and went to Darvyx the Bronze to have his great army outfitted with weapons and armor to fight the other gods. His betrayal was found out, however, Mahurabi has many eyes. He told the First Tree what had happened, and to protect itself, the First Tree created The Silver Warden and his army of celestials. They fought the humans, and eventually overcame them. As punishment, humanity was Humbled, forced to live as non-magical creatures of burden, in servitude to the other gods and the races they created. Torvus, their god, was ultimately beheaded by The Silver Warden, and became The Watchful, a giant ghost who wanders the land in penance for his sins, shepharding the lost souls of humanity.
Apr 23 2018
Rank #3: Episode 2 - White Boars Can't Jump
Regis shows off his intelligence, Brandonian shows off his hunting skills, Dreylen shows off his faith, and Tethyn shows off the closest thing this party has to competence.
Apr 27 2018
Rank #4: Episode 3 - This isn't Alchemy, this is Anal Sex!
Goblins, pteranodons, and more complete disregard for anything approaching common sense.
May 04 2018
Rank #5: Episode 4 - Who's been Drawing Dicks?
New episodes now Tuesday AND Friday!
Biz keeps fumbling around with Roll20 and DRASTICALLY misunderstands boats. Everyone else tries to accomodate him.
May 08 2018
Rank #6: Episode 5 - Naked on a Boat, Shitting Yourself
May 11 2018
Rank #7: Episode 6 - Funeral Planning Mid-Orgasm
May 15 2018
Rank #10: Episode 9 - Osama Animal Crossing
Sorry for taking so long getting these eps up! Sorry some of them are so long, but here you go, all the content I've taken SO LONG to get to you!
Support the show at: https://twitter.com/tabletopsnpb
Jun 17 2018