Making Friends

Why is Self-Care Important?

Unbroken Heart

Find out if God is leading you into a relationship, showing you red flags, or guiding you to stay in a friendship.Show/Hide TranscriptIs God Leading  You Into a Relationship? [Lead In] Martin Zerrudo: So let’s set the stage. You like them. They like you. You’re both members of the Church Of Christ and are of age to start the courting process. What do you do? Are things moving too fast? Too slow? Do things feel easy? And is the relationship progressing naturally? Or does it feel a little forced? What do your friends think? What does your family think? Is God leading you into a relationship? Or is He trying to show you some red flags?  Let’s have a Heart &amp; Soul conversation. [Show open] Martin Zerrudo: Hello, everyone, hope we’re finding you well, and that you and your family continue to be safe and healthy at this time. Today, we’ll be talking about whether God is leading you into a relationship or if you’re seeing something that maybe isn’t there. A lot of our listeners in the past have reached out and asked us to talk about the one. And we definitely have, but today we’ll be focusing more on being aware of whether or not they aren’t the one. Joining us today is Brother Donald Pinnock, a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ. Hi, Brother Donald, how are you today? Brother Donald: Not too bad, Brother Martin. And thank you for having me on the program. Martin Zerrudo: We always love having you. So we went online and found a couple things people point to as red flags for when you may be forcing a relationship with someone. And here they are. The first one is you talk about them like they’re already your boyfriend or girlfriend, even though you aren’t. Number two, you bend over backwards for them and they never reciprocate. Number three, you defend your relationship to your friends who express concerns. Number four, you make up excuses for why they never call you or text you back right away. And lastly, you tell yourself that they’re going to want a relationship eventually, and that they will change even though they show no signs of it. So Brother Donald, why are so many youth today finding themselves in this predicament where they may be forcing a relationship that isn’t there? Brother Donald: Well, Brother Martin, there’s so many reasons. For example, there are those who, due to peer pressure, they feel compelled to have a relationship, whether it be an actual one, or, as you mentioned an imagined one, since most of their friends already have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Others may really want to have a meaningful relationship with someone. However, they’re just too fearful of approaching that individual. Of course, they’re afraid of rejection. Thus, they imagine or just assume that the other person has the same feelings for them. And they leave it at that. On the part of the females or as we call sisters in the Church, they may feel attracted to a brother, but in fear of being labeled as too forthcoming or just too aggressive, they resort to telling themselves that the individual they have a crush on has the same feelings or sentiment for them. In order to avoid creating such a scenario, however, it is very important that members of the Church keep in mind the following tenet or teaching of the Bible. And we can read the following in Proverbs 19:14: Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD. [Proverbs 19:14 New International Version]  Church Of Christ members then are taught to ask God for everything that they need, including when it comes to a suitable or prudent wife, and in fact, husband for that matter. So in order to avoid creating an awkward circumstance, due to a perceived interest of a brother or sister of the faith, and of course, vice versa, they should conduct what is called a devotional prayer, by which they can ask God to clearly show unto them who would eventually be an appropriate spouse. Martin Zerrudo: Is it different for men than it is for women? You know, of course, times are changing, expectations in society are shifting and certain traditions may have changed, but as members of the Church Of Christ, who should take charge in asserting feelings and making intentions known, and what happens if things don’t work out? Brother Donald: That’s a very good series of questions, Brother Martin. As we know in society, normally, it would be the male who would approach the female to express his intent. However, we can see shifting social norms. And that is why now if a female is attracted to a male, she may take the initiative to express her feelings to him. In the Church it is most likely that the male or the brother would express his intent to the sister to establish a relationship. But even during those initial stages, the following Bible teaching is taken into account. In Ephesians 6:2-3 it states:  “Respect your father and mother” is the first commandment that has a promise added: “so that all may go well with you, and you may live a long time in the land.” [Ephesians 6:2-3 Today’s English Version] To show proper respect to the parents, then, male and female members of the Church, who feel mutually compelled to get to know each other better, would approach their respective parents to ask permission first. Considering that the husband is the head of the wife, and we can read that in Ephesians 5:23,  it would be the brother who would first approach the parents of the sister, whom he intends to court, to ask permission. But he, along with the sister, they should have a righteous purpose, Brother Martin, when it comes to courting one another, as we can glean from the following citation: 2 Timothy 2:22:  Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. [2 Timothy 2:22 New King James Version] This is why Church members are not supposed to date just for the sake of dating, or to pursue satisfying youthful lust. That is why, especially on the part of the brother, he should conduct himself in the following manner. Psalm 119:9: How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. [Psalm 119:9 New International Version] The brothers should have a pure intent when it comes to courting a sister and not intend to take any undue advantage of her. The couple should treat each other respectfully, by both of them heeding the teachings of God when it comes to their relationship. Now, if I can add, Brother Martin, if in spite of the best and the purest intentions, that the brother and the sister find that they are incompatible, well, they should mutually agree to stop seeing each other and inform the respective parents of their decision. Now, of course, depending on the amount of time invested during courting, there will be a certain level of sadness and even heartbreak may be experienced at least by one, if not both the male and female or the brother and the sister. Of course, conversing with family and friends would definitely aid in mending a broken heart. All the more, however, we should pray to God, because He’s more than capable, of course, of doing the following for us. As we can read here in Psalm 34:15,17-19 New International Version: The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry; … The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all; [Psalms 34:15, 17-19 New International Version] So it is very clear, Brother Martin, that the Lord our God is more than capable to help one heal after experiencing the emotional pain of a romantic breakup. Martin Zerrudo: So ultimately, Brother Donald, how can we determine if God doesn’t want us to be with someone? Brother Donald: Well, we mentioned earlier the importance of conducting that devotional prayer, asking God to guide us to who would be a suitable spouse for us. It is possible that we could meet a brother or sister in the Church, but if during their getting to know each other, or their courting, there are repeated issues, arguments, misunderstandings, and a general disharmony, then it should be fairly obvious that the couple are incompatible. Again, it would be best for both parties to mutually part ways and continue to do their part in preserving what we call as the love of the brotherhood in spite of not being connected romantically. Martin Zerrudo: Right. I remember, Brother Donald, you know, when I was younger, I was in a relationship and it didn’t work out and of course I was broken-hearted, was very sad and you know, you feel like oh man the world’s coming to an end because this person who I cared about so much who, you know, cared about me—I guess we don’t have a future together. And in my mindset at that time in my late teens, it felt so final, it felt like this is it. Never gonna find love again. I’m gonna be alone forever because it didn’t work out with this one person. And then you know, fast forward to today. That person is happily married. I’m happily married, very cordial when we see each other at the chapel. And it just goes to show exactly what you’re talking about that the focus is on, you know, really trying to pray and read about what God is showing you. And if it doesn’t work out, to maintain that love for the brotherhood that’s so important. And I’m happy to be able to see that it, you know, it truly does pan out so long as you put your faith and trust in God, even if the relationship doesn’t end up moving forward. Brother Donald: Well, you know, when it comes to, especially experiencing what we imagine as love in our teenage years or young adulthood, and it doesn’t work out? Well, we can really say that the emotional impact is very hurting for many people.  It takes quite some time in order to recover. It feels as if, in the midst of that breakup, as if the world is just imploding upon oneself. And it really takes some time to emotionally heal, and get on with life. But like you said, especially through prayer and trusting in God, then He’ll help us to heal. We can get along, we learned from our experience, and God be willing just like what happened to you and others, they eventually meet Mr. or Mrs. Right. And it is really to happily live ever after. It doesn’t mean to say of course, there’s no challenges. When it comes to marriage and living in this world there’ll always be challenges. But you know, there’s the right chemistry, and we still continue to trust God when we’re married to our spouse, and God is there to help us over those, those rough patches. Martin Zerrudo: Definitely. Now that we know how to read some of those warning signs or red flags, Brother Donald, how do we know, you know, conversely, how do we know if God wants you to be with someone? Well, how do we know that, hey, this is your sign right here, they’re right in front of you, they’re standing in front of you ready to go? Brother Donald: Well, we won’t see a burning bush, for example. In fact, that would be ideal, but being members of the Church Of Christ, it is our faith that God is going to guide us in a way that we should go or the path that we should take in our life. In fact, we can read that in Psalm 31:1 ,3: I come to you, LORD, for protection; never let me be defeated. You are a righteous God; save me, I pray! … You are my refuge and defense; guide me and lead me as you have promised. [Psalm 31:1, 3 Today’s English Version] So again, it shows the importance of prayer, Brother Martin, because through prayer, we can ask God to guide us in every aspect of our life, not just when it comes to our education, including when it comes to the one whom we could be potentially spending the rest of our life together. If there’s a chemistry and compatibility between the two, if they for example, find an easiness being together. And these and other feelings, they don’t dissipate, but rather they continue to grow even more prominent through the passage of time, then these are very strong indications that we have met the one for us. That is why it is imperative that a couple know each other well. And this can only happen through expending a significant amount of time and effort when it comes to the relationship. In the Church, our romantic relationship, of course, is with the intent that God be willing it will lead to marriage. And we know that marriage is a lifelong commitment. That is why great care and patience has to be taken to avoid a greater and lasting heartbreak of getting married just for the sake of it. Just because for example, a sister feels her biological clock is ticking or a brother, he sees that his peers are already married, so he needs to get married, and a brother or sister they meet one another and perhaps just after a few months are already talking about marriage, when in truth, they don’t really know each other well enough. And that’s why it cannot be overstressed the importance of really getting to know an individual well virtually on all levels in order for us to really find out if we have that strong basis to be able to commit to one another. And again, this is for a lifetime. So, great care, again, patience has to be taken to avoid a greater and lasting heartbreak of getting married just for the sake of it. And then through the passage of time we find out that we’re going to be struggling to commit to that commandment of God that when it comes to married couples, they should remain joined together till death do they part. Martin Zerrudo: Now when someone says, Brother Donald, if God wants you to be with someone, He will make it happen. How does a member of the Church Of Christ understand that, if He wants it to happen, it’ll happen? Brother Donald: Well, the Lord our God wants the very best for His chosen people. In Jeremiah 29:11, God Himself makes known through the prophet: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. [Jeremiah 29:11 New International Version] Because of this, when it comes to us members of the Church Of Christ, we really have to entrust ourselves to God, because we understand according to the many teachings, and also most especially when it comes to the fulfillment of many prophecies that we belong to God. And when God says, I know the plans I have for you, the you there being referred to are His people. And what, again, are the plans of God? He says, “Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” This is the very reason why when it comes to members of the Church Of Christ, they’re not going to rely upon their so-called abilities or their intelligence, or their so-called wisdom that they may have gained through education. They’re not going to place their wholehearted hope and trust when it comes to their fellow men. Even if when it comes to those connections or people they know they are in positions of influence and power, a member of the Church Of Christ is going to place their wholehearted hope and trust in the power and the ability of the One who created them: they’re going to place it in God. That is why when it comes to finding the most suitable partner, as a spouse for us, again, that is the very reason why we should place our trust in God and we should pray unto Him, and God in turn is going to steer the course of our life. Martin Zerrudo: We want to thank you so much, Brother Donald, for that spiritual guidance and advice for those wonderful verses and really putting into context some of these questions that our listeners have. For our audience members out there, take the time to really reflect on the things that we heard today and try and see, really see: what is God trying to tell you? Is this something that He wants you to be in? Or is it not? And at the end of the day, of course, based off of the verses, trusting in God will always lead us to the right answer. So thank you, again, so much, Brother Donald, for joining us today. We always appreciate your wonderful advice. Brother Donald: Well, thank you so much, Brother Martin, I truly enjoy myself on this program, discussing important matters like this with you. And again, with God’s mercy maybe when it comes to our listeners, especially those who are in this stage of their life, that they are looking for that significant other, that they will abide by these decrees or these tenets of the Lord our God. And again, you know, don’t rush into marriage, because it is a lifetime commitment. Better if, for example, during the courting period of a relationship, and that there are so many upheavals and it really points that, you know, there is a strong incompatibility there, even though it may be painful, better the pain that will be for a short period of time, instead of the pain of getting married because we insisted upon it, but then having to face that pain until as we read earlier, death do us part. So again, let’s trust God, follow His decrees, and God is the One who’s going to guide us. Martin Zerrudo: That’s fantastic. Thank you so much for that, Brother Donald. To our listeners, please continue to follow our hashtag on Instagram, #heartandsoulconversations to stay up to date with all things Heart and Soul. That’s it from us today. We hope we were able to help, hope we were able to connect and hope you’ll join us next time ready to listen with all your heart and soul. Take care. The post Is God Leading You Into a Relationship? appeared first on incmedia.org.

Find out if God is leading you into a relationship, showing you red flags, or guiding you to stay in a friendship.Show/Hide Transcript Is God Leading  You Into a Relationship? [Lead In] Martin Zerrudo: So let’s set the stage. You like them. They like you. You’re both members of the <a href="https://incmedia.org/our-beliefs/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Church Of Christ</a> and are of age to start the courting process. What do you do? Are things moving too fast? Too slow? Do things feel easy? And is the relationship progressing naturally? Or does it feel a little forced? What do your friends think? What does your family think? Is God leading you into a relationship? Or is He trying to show you some red flags?  Let’s have a Heart &amp; Soul conversation. [Show open] Martin Zerrudo: Hello, everyone, hope we’re finding you well, and that you and your family continue to be safe and healthy at this time. Today, we’ll be talking about whether God is leading you into a relationship or if you’re seeing something that maybe isn’t there. A lot of our listeners in the past have reached out and asked us to talk about the one. And we definitely have, but today we’ll be focusing more on being aware of whether or not they aren’t the one. Joining us today is Brother Donald Pinnock, a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ. Hi, Brother Donald, how are you today? Brother Donald: Not too bad, Brother Martin. And thank you for having me on the program. Martin Zerrudo: We always love having you. So we went online and found a couple things people point to as red flags for when you may be forcing a relationship with someone. And here they are. The first one is you talk about them like they’re already your boyfriend or girlfriend, even though you aren’t. Number two, you bend over backwards for them and they never reciprocate. Number three, you defend your relationship to your friends who express concerns. Number four, you make up excuses for why they never call you or text you back right away. And lastly, you tell yourself that they’re going to want a relationship eventually, and that they will change even though they show no signs of it. So Brother Donald, why are so many youth today finding themselves in this predicament where they may be forcing a relationship that isn’t there? Brother Donald: Well, Brother Martin, there’s so many reasons. For example, there are those who, due to peer pressure, they feel compelled to have a relationship, whether it be an actual one, or, as you mentioned an imagined one, since most of their friends already have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Others may really want to have a <a href="https://incmedia.org/love-in-the-time-of-coronavirus/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">meaningful relationship</a> with someone. However, they’re just too fearful of approaching that individual. Of course, they’re afraid of rejection. Thus, they imagine or just assume that the other person has the same feelings for them. And they leave it at that. On the part of the females or as we call sisters in the Church, they may feel attracted to a brother, but in fear of being labeled as too forthcoming or just too aggressive, they resort to telling themselves that the individual they have a crush on has the same feelings or sentiment for them. In order to avoid creating such a scenario, however, it is very important that members of the Church keep in mind the following tenet or teaching of the Bible. And we can read the following in Proverbs 19:14: Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD. [Proverbs 19:14 New International Version]  Church Of Christ members then are taught to <a href="https://incmedia.org/how-do-i-know-god-is-listening-to-my-prayers/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ask God for everything</a> that they need, including when it comes to a suitable or prudent wife, and in fact, husband for that matter. So in order to avoid creating an awkward circumstance, due to a perceived interest of a brother or sister of the faith, and of course, vice versa, they should conduct what is called a devotional prayer, by which they can ask God to clearly show unto them who would eventually be an appropriate spouse. Martin Zerrudo: Is it different for men than it is for women? You know, of course, times are changing, expectations in society are shifting and certain traditions may have changed, but as members of the Church Of Christ, who should take charge in asserting feelings and making intentions known, and what happens if things don’t work out? Brother Donald: That’s a very good series of questions, Brother Martin. As we know in society, normally, it would be the male who would approach the female to express his intent. However, we can see shifting social norms. And that is why now if a female is attracted to a male, she may take the initiative to express her feelings to him. In the Church it is most likely that the male or the brother would express his intent to the sister to <a href="https://incmedia.org/interfaith-relationships-do-they-work/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">establish a relationship</a>. But even during those initial stages, the following Bible teaching is taken into account. In Ephesians 6:2-3 it states:  “Respect your father and mother” is the first commandment that has a promise added: “so that all may go well with you, and you may live a long time in the land.” [Ephesians 6:2-3 Today’s English Version] To show proper respect to the parents, then, male and female members of the Church, who feel mutually compelled to get to know each other better, would approach their respective parents to ask permission first. Considering that the husband is the head of the wife, and we can read that in Ephesians 5:23,  it would be the brother who would first approach the parents of the sister, whom he intends to court, to ask permission. But he, along with the sister, they should have a righteous purpose, Brother Martin, when it comes to courting one another, as we can glean from the following citation: 2 Timothy 2:22:  Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. [2 Timothy 2:22 New King James Version] This is why Church members are not supposed to date just for the sake of dating, or to pursue satisfying youthful lust. That is why, especially on the part of the brother, he should conduct himself in the following manner. Psalm 119:9: How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. [Psalm 119:9 New International Version] The brothers should have a pure intent when it comes to courting a sister and not intend to take any undue advantage of her. The couple should treat each other respectfully, by both of them heeding the teachings of God when it comes to their relationship. Now, if I can add, Brother Martin, if in spite of the best and the purest intentions, that the brother and the sister find that they are incompatible, well, they should mutually agree to stop seeing each other and inform the respective parents of their decision. Now, of course, depending on the amount of time invested during courting, there will be a certain level of sadness and even heartbreak may be experienced at least by one, if not both the male and female or the brother and the sister. Of course, conversing with family and friends would definitely aid in mending a broken heart. All the more, however, we should pray to God, because He’s more than capable, of course, of doing the following for us. As we can read here in Psalm 34:15,17-19 New International Version: The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry; … The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all; [Psalms 34:15, 17-19 New International Version] So it is very clear, Brother Martin, that the Lord our God is more than capable to help one heal after experiencing the emotional pain of a romantic breakup. Martin Zerrudo: So ultimately, Brother Donald, how can we determine if God doesn’t want us to be with someone? Brother Donald: Well, we mentioned earlier the importance of conducting that devotional prayer, asking God to guide us to who would be a suitable spouse for us. It is possible that we could meet a <a href="https://incmedia.org/choosing-friendships-being-accepted/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">brother or sister</a> in the Church, but if during their getting to know each other, or their courting, there are repeated issues, arguments, misunderstandings, and a general disharmony, then it should be fairly obvious that the couple are incompatible. Again, it would be best for both parties to mutually part ways and continue to do their part in preserving what we call as the love of the brotherhood in spite of not being connected romantically. Martin Zerrudo: Right. I remember, Brother Donald, you know, when I was younger, I was in a relationship and it didn’t work out and of course I was broken-hearted, was very sad and you know, you feel like oh man the world’s coming to an end because this person who I cared about so much who, you know, cared about me—I guess we don’t have a future together. And in my mindset at that time in my late teens, it felt so final, it felt like this is it. Never gonna find love again. I’m gonna be alone forever because it didn’t work out with this one person. And then you know, fast forward to today. That person is <a href="https://incmedia.org/happy-life/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">happily married</a>. I’m happily married, very cordial when we see each other at the chapel. And it just goes to show exactly what you’re talking about that the focus is on, you know, really trying to pray and read about what God is showing you. And if it doesn’t work out, to maintain that love for the brotherhood that’s so important. And I’m happy to be able to see that it, you know, it truly does pan out so long as you put your faith and trust in God, even if the relationship doesn’t end up moving forward. Brother Donald: Well, you know, when it comes to, especially experiencing what we imagine as love in our teenage years or young adulthood, and it doesn’t work out? Well, we can really say that the emotional impact is very hurting for many people.  It takes quite some time in order to recover. It feels as if, in the midst of that breakup, as if the world is just imploding upon oneself. And it really takes some time to emotionally heal, and get on with life. But like you said, especially through prayer and trusting in God, then He’ll help us to heal. We can get along, we learned from our experience, and God be willing just like what happened to you and others, they eventually meet Mr. or Mrs. Right. And it is really to happily live ever after. It doesn’t mean to say of course, there’s no challenges. When it comes to marriage and living in this world there’ll always be challenges. But you know, there’s the right chemistry, and we still continue to trust God when we’re married to our spouse, and God is there to help us over those, those rough patches. Martin Zerrudo: Definitely. Now that we know how to read some of those warning signs or red flags, Brother Donald, how do we know, you know, conversely, how do we know if God wants you to be with someone? Well, how do we know that, hey, this is your sign right here, they’re right in front of you, they’re standing in front of you ready to go? Brother Donald: Well, we won’t see a burning bush, for example. In fact, that would be ideal, but being members of the Church Of Christ, it is our faith that God is going to guide us in a way that we should go or the path that we should take in our life. In fact, we can read that in Psalm 31:1 ,3: I come to you, LORD, for protection; never let me be defeated. You are a righteous God; save me, I pray! … You are my refuge and defense; guide me and lead me as you have promised. [Psalm 31:1, 3 Today’s English Version] So again, it shows the importance of prayer, Brother Martin, because through prayer, we can ask God to guide us in every aspect of our life, not just when it comes to our education, including when it comes to the one whom we could be potentially spending the rest of our life together. If there’s a chemistry and compatibility between the two, if they for example, find an easiness being together. And these and other feelings, they don’t dissipate, but rather they continue to grow even more prominent through the passage of time, then these are very strong indications that we have met the one for us. That is why it is imperative that a couple know each other well. And this can only happen through expending a significant amount of time and effort when it comes to the relationship. In the Church, our romantic relationship, of course, is with the intent that God be willing it will lead to marriage. And we know that marriage is a <a href="https://incmedia.org/3-things-i-learned-after-100-days-of-marriage/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">lifelong commitment</a>. That is why great care and patience has to be taken to avoid a greater and lasting heartbreak of getting married just for the sake of it. Just because for example, a sister feels her biological clock is ticking or a brother, he sees that his peers are already married, so he needs to get married, and a brother or sister they meet one another and perhaps just after a few months are already talking about marriage, when in truth, they don’t really know each other well enough. And that’s why it cannot be overstressed the importance of really getting to know an individual well virtually on all levels in order for us to really find out if we have that strong basis to be able to commit to one another. And again, this is for a lifetime. So, great care, again, patience has to be taken to avoid a greater and lasting heartbreak of getting married just for the sake of it. And then through the passage of time we find out that we’re going to be struggling to commit to that commandment of God that when it comes to married couples, they should remain joined together till death do they part. Martin Zerrudo: Now when someone says, Brother Donald, if God wants you to be with someone, He will make it happen. How does a member of the Church Of Christ understand that, if He wants it to happen, it’ll happen? Brother Donald: Well, the Lord our God wants the very best for His chosen people. In Jeremiah 29:11, God Himself makes known through the prophet: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. [Jeremiah 29:11 New International Version] Because of this, when it comes to us members of the Church Of Christ, we really have to entrust ourselves to God, because we understand according to the many teachings, and also most especially when it comes to the fulfillment of many prophecies that we belong to God. And when God says, I know the plans I have for you, the you there being referred to are His people. And what, again, are the plans of God? He says, “Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” This is the very reason why when it comes to members of the <a href="https://incmedia.org/10-things-about-the-iglesia-ni-cristo/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Church Of Christ</a>, they’re not going to rely upon their so-called abilities or their intelligence, or their so-called wisdom that they may have gained through education. They’re not going to place their wholehearted hope and trust when it comes to their fellow men. Even if when it comes to those connections or people they know they are in positions of influence and power, a member of the Church Of Christ is going to place their wholehearted hope and trust in the power and the ability of the One who created them: they’re going to place it in God. That is why when it comes to finding the most suitable partner, as a spouse for us, again, that is the very reason why we should place our trust in God and we should pray unto Him, and God in turn is going to steer the course of our life. Martin Zerrudo: We want to thank you so much, Brother Donald, for that spiritual guidance and advice for those wonderful verses and really putting into context some of these questions that our listeners have. For our audience members out there, take the time to really reflect on the things that we heard today and try and see, really see: what is God trying to tell you? Is this something that He wants you to be in? Or is it not? And at the end of the day, of course, based off of the verses, trusting in God will always lead us to the right answer. So thank you, again, so much, Brother Donald, for joining us today. We always appreciate your wonderful advice. Brother Donald: Well, thank you so much, Brother Martin, I truly enjoy myself on this program, discussing important matters like this with you. And again, with God’s mercy maybe when it comes to our listeners, especially those who are in this stage of their life, that they are looking for that significant other, that they will abide by these decrees or these tenets of the Lord our God. And again, you know, don’t rush into marriage, because it is a lifetime commitment. Better if, for example, during the courting period of a relationship, and that there are so many upheavals and it really points that, you know, there is a strong incompatibility there, even though it may be painful, better the pain that will be for a short period of time, instead of the pain of getting married because we insisted upon it, but then having to face that pain until as we read earlier, death do us part. So again, let’s trust God, follow His decrees, and God is the One who’s going to guide us. Martin Zerrudo: That’s fantastic. Thank you so much for that, Brother Donald. To our listeners, please continue to follow our hashtag on Instagram, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/heartandsoulconversations/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">#heartandsoulconversations</a> to stay up to date with all things Heart and Soul. That’s it from us today. We hope we were able to help, hope we were able to connect and hope you’ll join us next time ready to listen with all your heart and soul. Take care. The post <a href="https://incmedia.org/is-god-leading-you-into-a-relationship/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Is God Leading You Into a Relationship?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://incmedia.org" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">incmedia.org</a>.

Is God Leading You Into a Relationship?

Post-breakup emotions can be messy. Find out why you should trust in God after a breakup.        Show/Hide Transcript    [Lead In] Martin Zerrudo: Getting over a breakup isn’t easy. It can be a painful, sad and prolonged period of self-reflection. Many turn to friends, family and social media to find solace in their grief. Now when someone we care about, someone we love leaves, we’re left with so many questions. What if the answer to these questions—and about how to heal after a breakup, how to overcome a broken heart—what if they could be found in Bible verses? Let’s have a Heart &amp; Soul conversation. [Show open] Martin Zerrudo: Last year, I was able to talk to a listener, let’s call her Jaya. Jaya is in her late 20s and lives in Anaheim, California. And at the time of our conversation, Jaya and her boyfriend, we’ll call him Blake, were very much in love. [Heart &amp; Soul Listener] He was always someone that I was able to talk to really well, because we had a lot of common interests at the same time. We didn’t really have any problems like butting heads about things. We were always able to talk about anything. Martin Zerrudo: While some might find this rare, it’s because they’ve known each other for years and shared a common interest. [Heart &amp; Soul Listener] We’ve actually known each other for a really long time. We’ve known each other for maybe like over a decade. We’ve always been really, really good friends. Yeah, we were really good friends. We fed off of each other really well. Simple things like you know, playing video games together. That was something we always did. That was something we always enjoyed. Martin Zerrudo: Jaya actually had feelings for Blake, but he didn’t feel the same at the time. Fast forward to now, when Blake confessed his feelings for Jaya, she had a funny way of responding. [Heart &amp; Soul Listener] Yeah, 10 years ago, he rejected me. I remember exactly what he said to me 10 years ago. I kinda remember word for word, what he said to me. He said, like, “Oh, well, this is awkward.” I was like I said, and so, you know, when it happened again, like when he came around, and he was saying [he had feelings for me] Yeah, I jokingly, like [replied] well, this is awkward. Martin Zerrudo: Like the rest of the world, when the pandemic happened, their relationship would hit a brick wall, as their ability to spend time with each other was severely impacted.  [Heart &amp; Soul Listener] We had ended up not seeing each other, but we were definitely a lot more sensitive. When we weren’t communicating, it was hurting us more. Things got really messy. Martin Zerrudo: They would have a big fight, their first in their relationship. And then Blake would send a text message that changed everything. [Heart &amp; Soul Listener] Just had like our first I don’t know if I call it a fight, but it was really the moment things really fell apart. Martin Zerrudo: They wouldn’t talk for three months.  [Heart &amp; Soul Listener] Yeah, I think we’re done. That’s all that was said.  Martin Zerrudo: Joining us now is Brother Donald Pinnock, a minister of the gospel of the Church Of Christ. Brother Donald, thank you so much for joining us today. How are you? Brother Donald: Oh, I’m not too bad. Thank you, Brother Martin, for having me. Martin Zerrudo: Thank you for joining us again, trusting God after a breakup, Brother Donald, is what we all should do. But help our listeners put that into context. What does the Bible exactly say about dealing with a broken heart? Brother Donald: Well, first of all, Brother Martin, as we know, having one’s heart emotionally broken, is of course very, very painful. The time it takes to mend a broken heart varies from person to person. But if there is a common experience, it is that a feeling even physically ill at the deepest point of exasperation. In order to aid in the healing of a broken heart, Church Of Christ members are reminded of the following in Psalms 34:18 it states: The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.  [Psalm 34:18 New King James Version] So members of the Church Of Christ are reminded to turn to God at all times. But most especially when they feel down, despondent or brokenhearted, because as the Bible teaches, God is near to His servants, whether it is because of their disappointment in failed aspirations, or even when it comes to a relationship, that in spite of their best efforts, it just didn’t work out. And of course, the most ideal way of turning to God is through prayer. And those who do so with a contrite or sincere spirit, the Bible teaches that God will hear and God will save them. Just how God will save those who are downtrodden and hurting emotionally is explained here in I Peter 5:6-7:  Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.  [I Peter 5:6-7: New International Version] Now, when it comes to our Almighty God, He may utilize instruments in uplifting us from the doldrums we find ourselves in. But He is the ultimate reason why we will be able to emerge from such a precipice and be able to get on with our lives with optimism. And that’s important. Martin Zerrudo: So while we are not immune to heartbreak, what do members of the INC or Iglesia Ni Cristo, have that can help them during such a period of pain and sadness? Brother Donald:  Brother Martin it’s none other than our faith in God. And when we say faith meaning to say we place all our hope, and also our confidence in what He can do for us, because we trust that God will never abandon His chosen people, as we can read in Isaiah 63:8-9. All the more this gives us confidence. And allow me to quote: The LORD said, “They are my people; they will not deceive me.” And so he saved them from all their suffering. It was not an angel, but the LORD himself who saved them. In his love and compassion he rescued them. He had always taken care of them in the past,[Isaiah 63:8-9 Today’s English Version] That saving grace of God has been experienced many times by Church Of Christ members throughout their life, not just from physical dangers or perils. But even when it comes to having one’s spirit uplifted, after experiencing emotional upheavals, including heartbreak because of a failed relationship. Martin Zerrudo: When it comes to those failed relationships, you know, sometimes you just can’t avoid them, no matter how hard we hope that they’re going to work out. So what advice do you have, Brother Donald, for those who have recently gotten their heart broken? Why should they hold on to hope when, at this point in their life, they feel kind of hopeless? Brother Donald: There’s no doubt whatsoever that God cares so much for those who are recognized as His people or His children. And of course, He wants the very best for them in their life. That is why for those who may have experienced heartbreak, it could be that God is actually saving them from the more severe heartbreak of, for example, getting married to someone who in the initial stages of courting may have appeared to be that ideal partner, but through the passage of time and getting to know them, actually, they are not truly compatible.  We may feel emotional pain for a period of time, but not the prolonged pain of being married to someone whom we eventually find to be unbearable or impossible to live with. And of course, we would have God to thank for that. On the other hand, perhaps the parting of ways of those who were courting was just a test, it was just a trial to determine the level of their love and affection for one another, that if both parties truly love one another, well, they would reconcile, they could move on and their bond would be even stronger.  But still, we can’t gamble when it comes to our married future, but rather, we should follow what the Bible teaches here in Proverbs 19:14: Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.  [Proverbs 19:14 New International Version] Brother Martin, you know, physical and emotional compatibility, it’s important to a successful relationship. I mean, you have to feel some kind of attraction to another, is it not? But we should not base our decision when it comes to choosing a spouse on our personal assessment or not just when it comes to the physical appearance. Because love itself is not just skin deep. That is the reason why we should ask God perhaps through a devotional prayer, to grant us a prudent or suitable spouse. This is what so many Church Of Christ members have done and that is why it’s no surprise that marriages in the Church, they last until the proverbial words death do they part. May those who are not yet married, but are endeavoring to do so eventually experience the joy of a lasting marriage, a marriage that was sanctioned by God, a marriage between a man and a woman, members of the  Church who truly adhere to the teachings of our Father in heaven, and they can feel that they are being matched by the Lord our God, and because of this, their marriage would indeed be a joyful and lasting one. Of course, once they are married the importance of living in accordance with the tenets or the statutes of our Father in Heaven, the responsibilities of the husband to the wife, vice versa, the wife to the husband, and if they’re going to be blessed with children, how they should rear those children. If we are going to utilize wisely, the teachings of the Lord our God in every aspect of our life, including when it comes to married life, then we are going to be blessed. Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much for those wonderful verses. Whatever stage you may be in looking for love, praying for love, being in love, may be falling out of love and being heartbroken. It’s refreshing, inspiring, and it does fill us with hope to know that regardless of whatever stage you may be in romantically, that God is with you every step of the way. Now, just to close it off by Brother Donald, is it different now, because there’s a pandemic, because people are at home, maybe we’re all a little bit more on edge when it comes to dealing with a broken heart? How does somebody who’s isolated at home overcome all of this? Because it’s such a different time to be handling these kinds of emotions.  Brother Donald: It’s a really good question, Brother Martin, because of course, just being virtually isolated in one’s abode, by themselves under normal circumstances. I mean, there’s just so much pressure, emotionally, mentally. But if you’re going to add that broken heart scenario, because of a failed relationship, but of course, it compounds everything. Definitely, again, we need to believe in the power of prayer.  But at the same time, even though physically we may be isolated, we can utilize different means of communication, just to reach out to our friends, those who are close unto us just to have a conversation. So if we keep our friends and loved ones in the loop, we try our best to communicate with them, then they can also be God’s instruments in order to help alleviate those adverse feelings that we may be going through because of isolation plus broken-heartedness due to a relationship that just didn’t work out.  And at the same time, I can’t help but reiterate this point, that when it comes to a young couple who may be courting, but then the relationship just did not work out being members of the Church, we understand that marriage is a lifetime commitment. So it may sound harsh, but at the same time, you know, if there’s no real compatibility, there’s just too many differences when it comes to our characteristics. And that relationship does not work out. Well, when it comes to that pain that we may go through due to a breakup, and we mentioned it earlier, it’s much better than having a lasting pain of having to live with somebody whom there really is not that two-way love, or even to the point that you may separate abodes, but yet you cannot marry again because you know, we stand when it comes to the teachings of God that marriage is a lifetime commitment. That kind of pain is avoided, if before we got married, again, the Lord our God allowed us to really see who our to be spouse, what their true identities and their true characteristics are.  And perhaps God is showing unto us well, even though they are not a bad person, per se, but when it comes to having that intimate and that lasting relationship in marriage, then perhaps it’s best if you do not continue. So again, it shows the importance of just placing our trust, our hope, and the guidance of God through prayer. We ask God for a suitable spouse, we meet somebody, it’s not compatible. That’s not the suitable spouse that God has in mind for us. Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much for that, Brother Donald, hearing those words, as someone myself who is now married, it’s so true to trust the process, trust your prayers, and the one that you’re meant to be with is definitely the one you’ll end up with, because they came from God. So thank you so much for that, Brother Donald, thank you so much for joining us today. Brother Donald: And thank you so much for having me, Brother Martin it was a pleasure. Martin Zerrudo: As always Brother Donald. To our listeners, please continue to follow our hashtag on Instagram #heartandsoulconversations to stay up to date with all things heart and soul. Oh, and I recently reached out to Jaya to see how she’s doing. And she tells us that she and Blake have resolved their issues. I guess they trusted the process because with God’s help they were able to give it another try.  Brother Donald: Oh, that’s fantastic news.  Martin Zerrudo: There’s hope for us all. That’s it from us today. Hope we were able to connect, hope we were able to help and hope you’ll join us next time. Ready to listen with all your heart and soul. Take care. The post Always Trust God (Especially After A Breakup) appeared first on incmedia.org.

Post-breakup emotions can be messy. Find out why you should trust in God after a breakup. Show/Hide Transcript [Lead In] Martin Zerrudo: Getting over a breakup isn’t easy. It can be a painful, sad and prolonged period of <a href="https://incmedia.org/shared-stories-can-help-us-feel-less-alone/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">self-reflection</a>. Many turn to friends, family and social media to find solace in their grief. Now when someone we care about, someone we love leaves, we’re left with so many questions. What if the answer to these questions—and about how to heal after a breakup, how to overcome a broken heart—what if they could be found in Bible verses? Let’s have a Heart &amp; Soul conversation. [Show open] Martin Zerrudo: Last year, I was able to talk to a listener, let’s call her Jaya. Jaya is in her late 20s and lives in Anaheim, California. And at the time of our conversation, Jaya and her boyfriend, we’ll call him Blake, were very much in love. [Heart &amp; Soul Listener] He was always someone that I was able to talk to really well, because we had a lot of common interests at the same time. We didn’t really have any problems like butting heads about things. We were always able to talk about anything. Martin Zerrudo: While some might find this rare, it’s because they’ve known each other for years and shared a common interest. [Heart &amp; Soul Listener] We’ve actually known each other for a really long time. We’ve known each other for maybe like over a decade. We’ve always been really, really good friends. Yeah, we were really good friends. We fed off of each other really well. Simple things like you know, playing video games together. That was something we always did. That was something we always enjoyed. Martin Zerrudo: Jaya actually had feelings for Blake, but he didn’t feel the same at the time. Fast forward to now, when Blake confessed his feelings for Jaya, she had a funny way of responding. [Heart &amp; Soul Listener] Yeah, 10 years ago, he rejected me. I remember exactly what he said to me 10 years ago. I kinda remember word for word, what he said to me. He said, like, “Oh, well, this is awkward.” I was like I said, and so, you know, when it happened again, like when he came around, and he was saying [he had feelings for me] Yeah, I jokingly, like [replied] well, this is awkward. Martin Zerrudo: Like the rest of the world, when <a href="https://incmedia.org/how-to-overcome-the-impact-of-lockdown/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">the pandemic happened</a>, their relationship would hit a brick wall, as their ability to spend time with each other was severely impacted.  [Heart &amp; Soul Listener] We had ended up not seeing each other, but we were definitely a lot more sensitive. When we weren’t communicating, it was hurting us more. Things got really messy. Martin Zerrudo: They would have a big fight, their first in their relationship. And then Blake would send a text message that changed everything. [Heart &amp; Soul Listener] Just had like our first I don’t know if I call it a fight, but it was really the moment things really fell apart. Martin Zerrudo: They wouldn’t talk for three months.  [Heart &amp; Soul Listener] Yeah, I think we’re done. That’s all that was said.  Martin Zerrudo: Joining us now is Brother Donald Pinnock, a minister of the gospel of the Church Of Christ. Brother Donald, thank you so much for joining us today. How are you? Brother Donald: Oh, I’m not too bad. Thank you, Brother Martin, for having me. Martin Zerrudo: Thank you for joining us again, trusting God after a breakup, Brother Donald, is what we all should do. But help our listeners put that into context. What does the Bible exactly say about dealing with a broken heart? Brother Donald: Well, first of all, Brother Martin, as we know, having one’s heart emotionally broken, is of course very, very painful. The time it takes to mend a broken heart varies from person to person. But if there is a common experience, it is that a feeling even physically ill at the deepest point of exasperation. In order to aid in the healing of a broken heart, Church Of Christ members are reminded of the following in Psalms 34:18 it states: The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.  [Psalm 34:18 New King James Version] So members of the Church Of Christ are reminded to <a href="https://incmedia.org/how-do-i-know-god-is-listening-to-my-prayers/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">turn to God</a> at all times. But most especially when they feel down, despondent or brokenhearted, because as the Bible teaches, God is near to His servants, whether it is because of their disappointment in failed aspirations, or even when it comes to a relationship, that in spite of their best efforts, it just didn’t work out. And of course, the most ideal way of turning to God is through prayer. And those who do so with a contrite or sincere spirit, the Bible teaches that God will hear and God will save them. Just how God will save those who are downtrodden and hurting emotionally is explained here in I Peter 5:6-7:  Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.  [I Peter 5:6-7: New International Version] Now, when it comes to our Almighty God, He may utilize instruments in uplifting us from the doldrums we find ourselves in. But He is the ultimate reason why we will be able to emerge from such a precipice and be able to get on with our lives with optimism. And that’s important. Martin Zerrudo: So while we are not immune to heartbreak, what do members of the INC or Iglesia Ni Cristo, have that can help them during such a period of pain and sadness? Brother Donald:  Brother Martin it’s none other than our faith in God. And when we say faith meaning to say we place all our hope, and also our confidence in what He can do for us, because we trust that God will never abandon His chosen people, as we can read in Isaiah 63:8-9. All the more this gives us confidence. And allow me to quote: The LORD said, “They are my people; they will not deceive me.” And so he saved them from all their suffering. It was not an angel, but the LORD himself who saved them. In his love and compassion he rescued them. He had always taken care of them in the past, [Isaiah 63:8-9 Today’s English Version] That saving grace of God has been experienced many times by Church Of Christ members throughout their life, not just from physical dangers or perils. But even when it comes to having one’s spirit uplifted, after experiencing emotional upheavals, including heartbreak because of a failed relationship. Martin Zerrudo: When it comes to those failed relationships, you know, sometimes you just can’t avoid them, no matter how hard we hope that they’re going to work out. So what advice do you have, Brother Donald, for those who have recently gotten their heart broken? Why should they <a href="https://incmedia.org/3-stories-that-kept-me-hopeful-in-2020/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">hold on to hope</a> when, at this point in their life, they feel kind of hopeless? Brother Donald: There’s no doubt whatsoever that God cares so much for those who are recognized as His people or His children. And of course, He wants the very best for them in their life. That is why for those who may have experienced heartbreak, it could be that God is actually saving them from the more severe heartbreak of, for example, getting married to someone who in the initial stages of courting may have appeared to be that ideal partner, but through the passage of time and getting to know them, actually, they are not truly compatible.  We may feel emotional pain for a period of time, but not the prolonged pain of being married to someone whom we eventually find to be unbearable or impossible to live with. And of course, we would have God to thank for that. On the other hand, perhaps the parting of ways of those who were courting was just a test, it was just a trial to determine the level of their love and affection for one another, that if both parties truly love one another, well, they would reconcile, they could move on and their bond would be even stronger.  But still, we can’t gamble when it comes to our married future, but rather, we should follow what the Bible teaches here in Proverbs 19:14: Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.  [Proverbs 19:14 New International Version] Brother Martin, you know, physical and emotional compatibility, it’s important to a <a href="https://incmedia.org/how-do-you-know-youve-found-the-one/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">successful relationship</a>. I mean, you have to feel some kind of attraction to another, is it not? But we should not base our decision when it comes to choosing a spouse on our personal assessment or not just when it comes to the physical appearance. Because love itself is not just skin deep. That is the reason why we should ask God perhaps through a devotional prayer, to grant us a prudent or suitable spouse. This is what so many Church Of Christ members have done and that is why it’s no surprise that marriages in the Church, they last until the proverbial words death do they part. May those who are not yet married, but are endeavoring to do so eventually experience the joy of a lasting marriage, a marriage that was sanctioned by God, a marriage between a man and a woman, members of the  Church who truly adhere to the teachings of our Father in heaven, and they can feel that they are being matched by the Lord our God, and because of this, their marriage would indeed be a joyful and lasting one. Of course, once they are married the importance of living in accordance with the tenets or the statutes of our Father in Heaven, the responsibilities of the husband to the wife, vice versa, the wife to the husband, and if they’re going to be blessed with children, how they should rear those children. If we are going to utilize wisely, the teachings of the Lord our God in every aspect of our life, including when it comes to married life, then we are going to be blessed. Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much for those wonderful verses. Whatever stage you may be in looking for love, praying for love, being in love, may be falling out of love and being heartbroken. It’s refreshing, inspiring, and it does fill us with hope to know that regardless of whatever stage you may be in romantically, that God is with you every step of the way. Now, just to close it off by Brother Donald, is it different now, because there’s a pandemic, because people are at home, maybe we’re all a little bit more on edge when it comes to dealing with a broken heart? How does somebody who’s isolated at home overcome all of this? Because it’s such a different time to be handling these kinds of emotions.  Brother Donald: It’s a really good question, Brother Martin, because of course, just being virtually isolated in one’s abode, by themselves under normal circumstances. I mean, there’s just so much pressure, emotionally, mentally. But if you’re going to add that broken heart scenario, because of a failed relationship, but of course, it compounds everything. Definitely, again, we need to believe in the power of prayer.  But at the same time, even though physically we may be isolated, we can utilize different means of communication, just to reach out to our friends, those who are close unto us just to have a conversation. So if we keep our friends and loved ones in the loop, we try our best to communicate with them, then they can also be God’s instruments in order to help alleviate those adverse feelings that we may be going through because of isolation plus broken-heartedness due to a relationship that just didn’t work out.  And at the same time, I can’t help but reiterate this point, that when it comes to a young couple who may be courting, but then the relationship just did not work out being members of the Church, we understand that marriage is a lifetime commitment. So it may sound harsh, but at the same time, you know, if there’s no real compatibility, there’s just too many differences when it comes to our characteristics. And that relationship does not work out. Well, when it comes to that pain that we may go through due to a <a href="https://incmedia.org/how-to-cope-with-adult-loneliness/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">breakup</a>, and we mentioned it earlier, it’s much better than having a lasting pain of having to live with somebody whom there really is not that two-way love, or even to the point that you may separate abodes, but yet you cannot marry again because you know, we stand when it comes to the teachings of God that marriage is a lifetime commitment. That kind of pain is avoided, if before we got married, again, the Lord our God allowed us to really see who our to be spouse, what their true identities and their true characteristics are.  And perhaps God is showing unto us well, even though they are not a bad person, per se, but when it comes to having that intimate and that lasting relationship in marriage, then perhaps it’s best if you do not continue. So again, it shows the importance of just placing our trust, our hope, and the guidance of God through prayer. We ask God for a suitable spouse, we meet somebody, it’s not compatible. That’s not the suitable spouse that God has in mind for us. Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much for that, Brother Donald, hearing those words, as someone myself who is now married, it’s so true to trust the process, trust your prayers, and the one that you’re meant to be with is definitely the one you’ll end up with, because they came from God. So thank you so much for that, Brother Donald, thank you so much for joining us today. Brother Donald: And thank you so much for having me, Brother Martin it was a pleasure. Martin Zerrudo: As always Brother Donald. To our listeners, please continue to follow our hashtag on Instagram <a href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/heartandsoulconversations/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">#heartandsoulconversations</a> to stay up to date with all things heart and soul. Oh, and I recently reached out to Jaya to see how she’s doing. And she tells us that she and Blake have resolved their issues. I guess they trusted the process because with God’s help they were able to give it another try.  Brother Donald: Oh, that’s fantastic news.  Martin Zerrudo: There’s hope for us all. That’s it from us today. Hope we were able to connect, hope we were able to help and hope you’ll join us next time. Ready to listen with all your heart and soul. Take care. The post <a href="https://incmedia.org/always-trust-god-especially-after-a-breakup/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Always Trust God (Especially After A Breakup)</a> appeared first on <a href="https://incmedia.org" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">incmedia.org</a>.

Always Trust God (Especially After A Breakup)

Learn what you should know before popping the big question and how can you make sure that you end up having a successful marriage.Show/Hide TranscriptHow To Prepare For A Successful Marriage [Lead In] Martin Zerrudo: Is the next step for you and your significant other marriage? Is it something you’ve already talked about planning for? Is that a topic you’re currently avoiding? What should you know before popping the question and how can you make sure that you end up having a successful marriage?  Let’s have a Heart &amp; Soul conversation. [Show open] Martin Zerrudo: Hello, everyone, hope you’re doing well and are safe at home. Today, our topic is focused on helping our listeners gain a better understanding on what to expect when getting married and what to do to make sure their marriage can be happy and successful. At the end of the day, we want to give you as much information and guidance before you commit to one of the most important decisions of your lives. And joining me today to help us with that is Brother Felmar Serreno, a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ. Brother Felmar is a husband and father of two and is also the minister on the brand new Happy Life podcast, a podcast where newlyweds can get some tips on having a successful marriage. Hi, Brother Felmar, how are you today? Brother Felmar: Hello, Martin, and to the Heart &amp; Soul team and to everyone who’s tuning in. I’m doing well, Martin, thank you for asking. And I just like to say it’s a great pleasure for me to be here on Heart &amp; Soul. Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much, Brother Felmar. And thank you for taking the time to help us with such an important topic that is pivotal and is an important topic for many of our young adult listeners. So, when it comes to deciding when a couple in the Church Of Christ should marry, what are some of the questions that they should be asking themselves? Brother Felmar: To answer that, let’s first be reminded that a true spouse is from God. This is proven to us by the Bible in Proverbs 19: 14 we’ll quote from the New Revised Standard Version:  Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD. [Proverbs 19:14 New Revised Standard Version]  So based on this, one of the very important questions to ask oneself prior to getting married is, is this person that I am courting, or is courting me the answer to my prayers? Is this person the blessing to me from God?  Another important question to ask oneself prior to getting married is, am I ready for the blessing like what we heard from the Holy Scriptures, house and wealth are inherited from parents, but house and wealth or other possessions are not just things you just receive? Right? You need to take care of them. There are responsibilities that need to be fulfilled. So, so much more when it comes to marriage.  According to the Bible, in God’s design of marriage, which is the true and right design, there are responsibilities for the husband, and there are responsibilities for the wife, and there are also shared responsibilities. That’s why on the Happy Life podcast, we discuss things like making adjustments, expectations, communication as a married couple for members in the Church Of Christ who are at the courtship stage. Be sure to ask yourselves even before getting engaged. Are you ready for the blessing and the responsibilities that come with marriage? It’s important to consider that you have feelings for each other. But it’s also important to consider how compatible you are with one another, especially when it comes to working together and shouldering and fulfilling the responsibilities that come with marriage.  It’s important to ask too, if you are ready, financially, mentally and above all, are you ready spiritually? So I hope, Martin, that answers your question regarding some of the things that others ought to be asking themselves before getting married. Martin Zerrudo: Of course, we want to be able to ask those questions so that it helps us prepare, like you mentioned financially, mentally, and above all spiritually. But some might say, Well, I know some successful couples who weren’t 100% ready financially, and they worked out. Maybe they rushed into it too quickly, but it worked out. What would be our answer to those kinds of scenarios? Brother Felmar: Well, going back to the Holy Scriptures, to the verse that we just read in Proverbs 19:14, the truth is clear. A prudent wife is from the Lord. So a true spouse will come from the Lord God. So if it is the will of God that He will grant to an individual the true spouse, the answer to that individual’s prayer, and maybe it would not necessarily fit the timeline, so to say, when it comes to the norm, right, on how others have gotten married, but that is the will of God for that particular couple. So by God’s grace and mercy, things will fall into place.  However, that doesn’t mean that we should rush into marriage. Based on the Holy Scriptures, marriage is sacred, so we ought to be careful, and we ought to make the necessary preparations so that we will be able not only to receive the blessing, but to continue to take care of the blessing of marriage that comes from the Lord God, Martin Zerrudo: Very true, Brother Felmar, and I guess it just all the more indicates why the decision to get married in the INC is not one we take lightly. So how does one know when they’re ready to make an important decision? What if they feel like okay I may have all my ducks in a row, financially ready, I think God is answering my prayer. How do they know it’s time to make that important decision? Brother Felmar: Well, I think if those who are currently in courtship can say, “Yes, we care for each other.” So those feelings are there. But they can also say “Yes, we have proven ourselves to be compatible with one another.” Because even though emotionally, you know, they care for each other, they feel deeply about each other. But there are moments that arise where the compatibility is in question, a lot of times they’re fighting. Well, that can’t be a good sign. So that’s something that should be considered. What else? Again, we should also be able to say, “Yes, we are ready financially.” That is something that is important, because according to the Holy Scriptures, we ought to be able to provide for our household. What else should be considered? That we can say “Yes, we are also mentally ready. We are capable of making mature and responsible decisions. But above all, we are ready spiritually.” A man and woman who are about to make that decision to go into marriage must make sure that they are ready spiritually, both are spiritually mature.  So if we can say yes to all of these questions, then I’d say you’re pretty ready. I’d say, What are you waiting for? Assuming of course, you’re both of legal age. In addition to that, Martin, here’s a Bible verse, a teaching from the Holy Scriptures, that should also be considered here in the book of Proverbs 3:5-6 in the New King James Version:  Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. [Proverbs 3:5-6 New King James Version] If you trust in the Lord with all your heart, if you acknowledge God, if you pray to Him regularly, the Bible says, “He shall direct your paths.” And that has been the experience of many members in the Church Of Christ, when we were not yet ready for marriage, although maybe we wanted to get married, but God, who knows us better than we know ourselves, He knew that we were not yet ready. God directed us. And when the time was right, God directed us again. But to avail of this wonderful and precise direction from God, it is crucial that we do trust in God with all of our heart, and that we are prayerful. Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much for that, Brother Felmar. As someone who has been married for a couple of years now, can you describe to our listeners, maybe for those who are not members of the Iglesia Ni Cristo, Church Of Christ, the beauty and the splendor that is a blessed marriage within the Church Of Christ. Can you describe to our audience what that is like? Brother Felmar: You know, it’s very hard to put into words. It’s very hard to put into words. The Bible teaches us that when we put God first, when we make God our happiness, He will give us our heart’s desire. And that’s why I mentioned earlier, how wonderful it is to have that direction, that precise direction from God, because only the Almighty God knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows exactly who the right match will be for us. There are many things we cannot foresee going into marriage. Although you know, with what we can see things may look like they align. But there are also things we cannot see, because we are human beings, we are limited with what we know and what we can foresee. We don’t know what will happen five years from now, 10 years from now. Maybe in courtship, the chemistry is there. But will the chemistry still be there when challenges come, when you may lose your livelihood, or when your spouse is ill? But God knows those things. So again, only the Almighty God knows who the exact match will be for us, who will be our true partner in life and will compliment us on all levels, and above all, will be with us in our services to God. In worshipping Him and putting our faith in Him and in praying to Him, you know, until we make it to our salvation.  So having said that, to all of our listeners and, and to our friends who are not members of the Iglesia Ni Cristo or the Church Of Christ, the priority would be God. Know God first, make the Almighty God our happiness, understand His teachings and all of his commandments that we must fulfill so that we prove to God He is our happiness. And that’s why we always invite our friends and loved ones to know more about the Church Of Christ. Of course, we’re so happy when we have our friends and loved ones who are with us in the Church Of Christ, but really that invitation is for you. It’s for our friends, so that they will be able to experience how wonderful it is to have the true God and to receive His blessings. And a very important and crucial blessing in life is true marriage that comes from God. Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much for that, Brother Felmar. And as you as a husband, how does that make you feel that that’s a blessing that you’ve been given in life?  Brother Felmar: It’s humbling that you know, like, the Bible says, when God is your happiness, He will give you your heart’s desire. So those qualities that I hoped for and prayed for, you know, when I was still single and praying for a spouse who not only would be my partner in life, but my partner in the holy ministry, so it is humbling that God, you know, He gave me really like what the Bible says, one’s heart’s desire. I don’t want it to seem like you know, I’m making my wife sound like she’s, you know, this perfect woman. There’s no such thing as a perfect man or woman, right? So, but really, you know, there’s the perfect one for you.  Martin Zerrudo: So thank you so much, Brother Felmar, for those wonderful verses and the spiritual advice. For our listeners who are considering getting married, and especially for our listeners who are newlyweds, we have a brand new podcast we recently launched and I’d love to share it with you. It’s called Happy Life, where you’ll have none other than Brother Felmar and Host Sister Myrtle Alegado to help provide Bible-based advice and guidance to newlyweds in the INC as they begin their new journey together. Brother Felmar, what can listeners look forward to when they tune in to Happy Life? Brother Felmar:  So you have to listen to each episode from start to finish, so that you can come away with the complete package that each episode brings, which includes reliable and relevant marriage tips from real life experiences of newlyweds who guest on the show. More importantly, Bible-based teachings, which are the foundation for a happy and enduring marriage. These teachings can be applied to resolving conflicts that may arise in marriage, as well as preventing future conflicts, especially serious ones that could severely harm a marriage. Our warmhearted and spirited host, Myrtle Alegado, does a wonderful job of keeping the discussion meaningful, focused on the topic at hand, and we have fun too. So lots to look forward to on Happy Life. Martin Zerrudo: I believe you also have an Instagram account. Brother Felmar: We do. Yes. Thank you for mentioning that, Martin. So yes, please, if everyone tuning in could follow us on Instagram, subscribe on Apple podcast, Google podcast. And of course you can find us as well on our website incmedia.org. Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much for that, Brother Felmar, thank you so much for joining us for providing that wonderful insight. Please, for all of our listeners continue to follow our hashtag on Instagram,  #heartandsoulconversations to stay up to date with all things Heart &amp; Soul. Thank you so much, Brother Felmar, for joining us. We really appreciate it. Brother Felmar: All praises be to God and thank you as well, Martin, and to the Heart &amp; Soul team. Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much, this your first time hopefully not the last. We look forward to it in the future. That’s it from us today. Hope we were able to help, hope we were able to connect and hope you’ll join us next time ready to listen with all your heart and soul. Take care. The post How To Prepare For A Successful Marriage appeared first on incmedia.org.

Learn what you should know before popping the big question and how can you make sure that you end up having a successful marriage.Show/Hide Transcript How To Prepare For A Successful Marriage [Lead In] Martin Zerrudo: Is the next step for you and your significant other marriage? Is it something you’ve already talked about planning for? Is that a topic you’re currently avoiding? What should you know before popping the question and how can you make sure that you end up having a successful marriage?  Let’s have a Heart &amp; Soul conversation. [Show open] Martin Zerrudo: Hello, everyone, hope you’re doing well and are safe at home. Today, our topic is focused on helping our listeners gain a better understanding on what to expect when getting married and what to do to make sure their marriage can be happy and successful. At the end of the day, we want to give you as much information and guidance before you commit to one of the most important decisions of your lives. And joining me today to help us with that is Brother Felmar Serreno, a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ. Brother Felmar is a husband and father of two and is also the minister on the brand new <a href="https://incmedia.org/happy-life/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Happy Life podcast</a>, a podcast where newlyweds can get some tips on having a successful marriage. Hi, Brother Felmar, how are you today? Brother Felmar: Hello, Martin, and to the Heart &amp; Soul team and to everyone who’s tuning in. I’m doing well, Martin, thank you for asking. And I just like to say it’s a great pleasure for me to be here on Heart &amp; Soul. Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much, Brother Felmar. And thank you for taking the time to help us with such an important topic that is pivotal and is an important topic for many of our young adult listeners. So, when it comes to deciding when a couple in the Church Of Christ should marry, what are some of the questions that they should be asking themselves? Brother Felmar: To answer that, let’s first be reminded that a true spouse is from God. This is proven to us by the Bible in Proverbs 19: 14 we’ll quote from the New Revised Standard Version:  Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD. [Proverbs 19:14 New Revised Standard Version]  So based on this, one of the very important questions to ask oneself prior to getting married is, is this person that I am courting, or is courting me the answer to my prayers? Is this person the blessing to me from God?  Another important question to ask oneself prior to getting married is, am I ready for the blessing like what we heard from the Holy Scriptures, house and wealth are inherited from parents, but house and wealth or other possessions are not just things you just receive? Right? You need to take care of them. There are responsibilities that need to be fulfilled. So, so much more when it comes to marriage.  According to the Bible, in God’s design of marriage, which is the true and right design, there are responsibilities for the husband, and there are responsibilities for the wife, and there are also <a href="https://incmedia.org/communication-in-marriage-decision-making/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">shared responsibilities</a>. That’s why on the Happy Life podcast, we discuss things like making adjustments, expectations, communication as a married couple for members in the Church Of Christ who are at the courtship stage. Be sure to ask yourselves even before getting engaged. Are you ready for the blessing and the responsibilities that come with marriage? It’s important to consider that you have feelings for each other. But it’s also important to consider how compatible you are with one another, especially when it comes to working together and shouldering and fulfilling the responsibilities that come with marriage.  It’s important to ask too, if you are ready, financially, mentally and above all, are you ready spiritually? So I hope, Martin, that answers your question regarding some of the things that others ought to be asking themselves before getting married. Martin Zerrudo: Of course, we want to be able to ask those questions so that it helps us prepare, like you mentioned financially, mentally, and above all spiritually. But some might say, Well, I know some successful couples who weren’t 100% ready financially, and they worked out. Maybe they rushed into it too quickly, but it worked out. What would be our answer to those kinds of scenarios? Brother Felmar: Well, going back to the <a href="https://incmedia.org/the-bible/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Holy Scriptures</a>, to the verse that we just read in Proverbs 19:14, the truth is clear. A prudent wife is from the Lord. So a true spouse will come from the Lord God. So if it is the will of God that He will grant to an individual the true spouse, the answer to that individual’s prayer, and maybe it would not necessarily fit the timeline, so to say, when it comes to the norm, right, on how others have gotten married, but that is the will of God for that particular couple. So by God’s grace and mercy, things will fall into place.  However, that doesn’t mean that we should rush into marriage. Based on the Holy Scriptures, marriage is sacred, so we ought to be careful, and we ought to make the necessary preparations so that we will be able not only to receive the blessing, but to continue to take care of the blessing of marriage that comes from the Lord God, Martin Zerrudo: Very true, Brother Felmar, and I guess it just all the more indicates why the decision to get married in the INC is not one we take lightly. So how does one know when they’re ready to make an important decision? What if they feel like okay I may have all my ducks in a row, financially ready, I think God is answering my prayer. How do they know it’s time to make that important decision? Brother Felmar: Well, I think if those who are currently in courtship can say, “Yes, we care for each other.” So those feelings are there. But they can also say “Yes, we have proven ourselves to be compatible with one another.” Because even though emotionally, you know, they care for each other, they feel deeply about each other. But there are moments that arise where the compatibility is in question, a lot of times they’re fighting. Well, that can’t be a good sign. So that’s something that should be considered. What else? Again, we should also be able to say, “Yes, we are ready financially.” That is something that is important, because according to the <a href="https://incmedia.org/reasons-why-the-bible-is-relevant/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Holy Scriptures</a>, we ought to be able to provide for our household. What else should be considered? That we can say “Yes, we are also mentally ready. We are capable of making mature and responsible decisions. But above all, we are ready spiritually.” A man and woman who are about to make that decision to go into marriage must make sure that they are ready spiritually, both are spiritually mature.  So if we can say yes to all of these questions, then I’d say you’re pretty ready. I’d say, What are you waiting for? Assuming of course, you’re both of legal age. In addition to that, Martin, here’s a Bible verse, a teaching from the Holy Scriptures, that should also be considered here in the book of Proverbs 3:5-6 in the New King James Version:  Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. [Proverbs 3:5-6 New King James Version] If you trust in the Lord with all your heart, if you acknowledge God, if you pray to Him regularly, the Bible says, “He shall direct your paths.” And that has been the experience of many members in the Church Of Christ, when we were not yet ready for marriage, although maybe we wanted to get married, but God, who knows us better than we know ourselves, He knew that we were not yet ready. God directed us. And when the time was right, God directed us again. But to avail of this wonderful and precise direction from God, it is crucial that we do trust in God with all of our heart, and that we are prayerful. Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much for that, Brother Felmar. As someone who has been married for a couple of years now, can you describe to our listeners, maybe for those who are <a href="https://incmedia.org/10-things-about-the-iglesia-ni-cristo/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">not members of the Iglesia Ni Cristo</a>, Church Of Christ, the beauty and the splendor that is a blessed marriage within the Church Of Christ. Can you describe to our audience what that is like? Brother Felmar: You know, it’s very hard to put into words. It’s very hard to put into words. The Bible teaches us that when we put God first, when we make God our happiness, He will give us our heart’s desire. And that’s why I mentioned earlier, how wonderful it is to have that <a href="https://incmedia.org/what-is-the-ultimate-goal-in-life/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">direction</a>, that precise direction from God, because only the Almighty God knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows exactly who the right match will be for us. There are many things we cannot foresee going into marriage. Although you know, with what we can see things may look like they align. But there are also things we cannot see, because we are human beings, we are limited with what we know and what we can foresee. We don’t know what will happen five years from now, 10 years from now. Maybe in courtship, the chemistry is there. But will the chemistry still be there when challenges come, when you may lose your livelihood, or when your spouse is ill? But God knows those things. So again, only the Almighty God knows who the exact match will be for us, who will be our true partner in life and will compliment us on all levels, and above all, will be with us in our services to God. In worshipping Him and putting our faith in Him and in praying to Him, you know, until we make it to our salvation.  So having said that, to all of our listeners and, and to our friends who are not members of the Iglesia Ni Cristo or the Church Of Christ, the <a href="https://incmedia.org/who-should-be-your-main-priority-in-life/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">priority</a> would be God. Know God first, make the Almighty God our happiness, understand His teachings and all of his commandments that we must fulfill so that we prove to God He is our happiness. And that’s why we always invite our friends and loved ones to know more about the Church Of Christ. Of course, we’re so happy when we have our friends and loved ones who are with us in the Church Of Christ, but really that invitation is for you. It’s for our friends, so that they will be able to experience how wonderful it is to have the true God and to receive His blessings. And a very important and crucial blessing in life is true marriage that comes from God. Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much for that, Brother Felmar. And as you as a husband, how does that make you feel that that’s a blessing that you’ve been given in life?  Brother Felmar: It’s humbling that you know, like, the Bible says, when God is your happiness, He will give you your heart’s desire. So those qualities that I hoped for and prayed for, you know, when I was still single and praying for a spouse who not only would be my partner in life, but my partner in the holy ministry, so it is humbling that God, you know, He gave me really like what the Bible says, one’s heart’s desire. I don’t want it to seem like you know, I’m making my wife sound like she’s, you know, this perfect woman. There’s no such thing as a perfect man or woman, right? So, but really, you know, there’s the perfect one for you.  Martin Zerrudo: So thank you so much, Brother Felmar, for those wonderful verses and the spiritual advice. For our listeners who are considering getting married, and especially for our listeners who are newlyweds, we have a brand new podcast we recently launched and I’d love to share it with you. It’s called Happy Life, where you’ll have none other than Brother Felmar and Host Sister Myrtle Alegado to help provide Bible-based advice and guidance to newlyweds in the INC as they begin their new journey together. Brother Felmar, what can listeners look forward to when they tune in to <a href="https://incmedia.org/happy-life/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Happy Life</a>? Brother Felmar:  So you have to listen to each episode from start to finish, so that you can come away with the complete package that each episode brings, which includes reliable and relevant <a href="https://incmedia.org/effective-communication-in-marriage-intro/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">marriage tips</a> from real life experiences of newlyweds who guest on the show. More importantly, Bible-based teachings, which are the foundation for a happy and enduring marriage. These teachings can be applied to <a href="https://incmedia.org/communication-in-marriage-disagreements/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">resolving conflicts</a> that may arise in marriage, as well as preventing future conflicts, especially serious ones that could severely harm a marriage. Our warmhearted and spirited host, Myrtle Alegado, does a wonderful job of keeping the discussion meaningful, focused on the topic at hand, and we have fun too. So lots to look forward to on Happy Life. Martin Zerrudo: I believe you also have an Instagram account. Brother Felmar: We do. Yes. Thank you for mentioning that, Martin. So yes, please, if everyone tuning in could follow us on Instagram, subscribe on Apple podcast, Google podcast. And of course you can find us as well on our website <a href="http://incmedia.org" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">incmedia.org</a>. Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much for that, Brother Felmar, thank you so much for joining us for providing that wonderful insight. Please, for all of our listeners continue to follow our hashtag on Instagram,  <a href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/heartandsoulconversations/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">#heartandsoulconversations</a> to stay up to date with all things Heart &amp; Soul. Thank you so much, Brother Felmar, for joining us. We really appreciate it. Brother Felmar: All praises be to God and thank you as well, Martin, and to the Heart &amp; Soul team. Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much, this your first time hopefully not the last. We look forward to it in the future. That’s it from us today. Hope we were able to help, hope we were able to connect and hope you’ll join us next time ready to listen with all your heart and soul. Take care. The post <a href="https://incmedia.org/how-to-prepare-for-a-successful-marriage/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">How To Prepare For A Successful Marriage</a> appeared first on <a href="https://incmedia.org" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">incmedia.org</a>.

How To Prepare For A Successful Marriage

Reflecting on life can be effective in providing insight and perspective. But sometimes it’s not always no clear. So, what does self-reflection mean?Show/Hide TranscriptWhat Does Self-Reflection Mean? [Lead In] Martin Zerrudo: When you reflect on the meaning of your own life, the struggles you’ve gone through, how does it make you feel? Strong for having gone through it? Sad for having to still deal with it? What does self-reflection really mean in the grand scheme of things? And more importantly, what do you think God is trying to tell you? Let’s have a Heart &amp; Soul conversation.  [Show open] Martin Zerrudo: Hello, everyone, hope we’re finding you well, and that you and your family continue to be safe and healthy at this time. When talking about the importance of self-reflection. It’s an area that a lot of people can use some help with. According to some studies, the self help industry will be worth over $13 billion in 2022. This translates to millions of different methods out there meant to help us with how to reflect or how to get through the hardest times in our life. We recently asked on our Instagram @incmedianews using #heartandsoulconversations, what kind of struggles in life have you gone through, and here’s what you had to say. [Heart &amp; Soul Listeners] Crippling levels of undiagnosed clinical depression, anxiety and migraines. I thought that was simply how people lived, and assumed that it was normal. I wasn’t happy most of the time, all the way up through high school. Being in a family that moves from one place to another, we’re trained that our lives change every two years. And so we must learn to adapt. As the new kid in town all the time I had to adjust. I did my best to excel my classes that I got bullied for being included in the honor roll. Even teachers and faculty staff bullied me, even parents who lived near us spread rumors about me. Growing up being the unreasonably disliked kid was tough. I would say loneliness, though there are those times when I felt the heaviness of being lonely, or feeling like I don’t have anybody there for me when I’m going through a hard time. And just feeling like I don’t have any friends. Martin Zerrudo: According to betterhelp.com three of the most common reasons why people give up on life are mental health issues, the feeling of not fitting in, and loneliness. And if you listen back to those clips that we just played, those listeners were going through exactly those things. So why didn’t they give up? Well, we asked them, Why didn’t those struggles break your will?  [Heart &amp; Soul Listeners] What kept me going through day to day and dark nights were singing hymns and praying to God. It was traumatic. But it was also the time that I learned how faith works. When I feel like I’m on the brink of giving up, God provides a light of hope. And to know good things and good people are out there. I just have to keep praying and always have that sense of hope. Martin Zerrudo: For some of our listeners, when it came to struggles, it surprised them how hard it would hurt, especially when it came from a place that they least expected. [Heart &amp; Soul Listeners] Being hit hard with my anxiety due to finding out the people I thought were my friends weren’t really treating me as one behind my back. I didn’t expect it to affect me to that extent. But it really shook my mental state at that time. I felt alone and my anxiety made me feel like I had no one to trust anymore. Because despite having the purest of intentions, people will still find something to pick on about you. Martin Zerrudo: Thankfully, as members of the Church Of Christ, when we take the time to reflect we have the ability to combine our self-reflection and introspection with our faith. [Heart &amp; Soul Listeners] But I am so glad I got through that. Crying out everything to Him during my nightly devotional prayers really helped me get through that tough part. And I can honestly say that, despite it being a painful experience, it woke me up to the realities of life. And I learned so much from it. I just always keep in mind that our Lord God won’t ever leave our sides when things get hard. Martin Zerrudo: And even though it’s not always clear what God is trying to tell us at any given moment, our trust in Him remains unwavering, no matter what. [Heart &amp; Soul Listeners] I always exhaust and pressure myself to do things beyond my limits, which sometimes leads me to anxiety. In fact, I did wish that God would just write His will on the wall, or speak to me with an audible voice for me to know which path to take to avoid failures. But I know God rarely chooses to make His will for my life that obvious. He wants us to be persistent in seeking His guidance, and to always trust in the promise He bestowed. I’m truly thankful that He helped me to always understand His will and obey with all my heart. Now, I overcome the fear of taking risks and the fear of failing because I know God loves me. And His love won’t lead me astray. Martin Zerrudo: Joining us now is a show favorite of ours, minister of the gospel, Brother Donald Pinnock. Brother Donald, how are you today? Bro. Donald: I’m not too bad, Brother Martin, it’s good to hear from you. Martin Zerrudo: Happy to have you on today. Brother Donald, you know, as we talk about self-reflection and the struggles that people go through, what struggles in life have you gone through? And why didn’t those struggles break you? Bro. Donald: Well, what immediately comes to mind, Brother Martin, is when I left Canada to pursue my studies in the ministry there in the Philippines in 1992. Of course, it was very, very difficult to leave behind my parents who, of course, were getting on in age, when it comes to my siblings, and also my close friends. Even when it comes to my place of employment. And not only that, having to adjust to a culture that was very foreign to me, other people there, this just made the situation extremely hard.  Of course, before I left, I tried to prepare myself as best as I could. But when you’re actually there, and feeling like a total stranger and alien to everyone and everything, emotionally, it was very, very taxing. But I truly believe that God wanted me to be there. And that belief acted as a catalyst for me, in order for me to immerse myself in the culture. And also when it came to my studies. Martin Zerrudo: Now, looking back on it many years removed from that situation, do you feel like maybe your apprehension was … was it an overreaction, an underreaction, or was what you expected exactly what ended up happening? Bro. Donald: Well, fortunately, before I began my studies in 1992, I did visit the Philippines in 1990. It was just for a few weeks and I was able to visit my wife’s family there. And again, that was my first trip to the Philippines. And there, we can say there was a bit of a culture shock when it comes to the stark reality of how many people were really struggling there, when it came to the economy and when it comes to other living conditions for so many. So in truth, that initial visit there to the Philippines, it kind of helped, kind of helped. But when it came to going there in 1992, and to be there for the next five years, well, that’s all the more that, you know, reality hit me. So my apprehension, I believe, was in a way, an attempt to brace myself. But when I was actually there, knowing that I had left my family and my friends and everything else there in North America to pursue my studies, you know, being human, of course, it was very difficult, extremely difficult. Martin Zerrudo: Right. And you know, that difficulty, perhaps they didn’t go into ministry but when you know, after hearing those clips, it shows that members of the Church Of Christ are not immune to the struggles in life. Even when they pursue their dreams, they’re not immune to those challenges. So what makes us all the more resilient to those struggles? Bro. Donald: Well, the same reason why I was able to overcome my personal struggles then when I was beginning my studies and until now, when different kinds of challenges come in different forms. Being members of the Church Of Christ, we are resilient, not because of our own ability, but rather because we place our hope and trust in God. We trust that He will give us the strength, the courage, the guidance, in order for us to overcome whatever we may encounter in life.  In fact, it’s no surprise because God has made and fulfilled such promises to His people in the past, as we can read here in Isaiah 40:28-31:  Don’t you know? Haven’t you heard? The LORD is the everlasting God; he created all the world. He never grows tired or weary. No one understands his thoughts. He strengthens those who are weak and tired. Even those who are young grow weak; young people can fall exhausted. But those who trust in the LORD for help will find their strength renewed. They will rise on wings like eagles; they will run and not get weary; they will walk and not grow weak.  [Isaiah 40:28-31 Today’s English Version] As this Bible citation reminds us, it’s not just the old but even the young who can grow weak and feel exhausted, especially considering the current time that we are living in. But God has promised to strengthen His people who place their hope and their trust in Him. In fact, God further encourages us with a following declaration written in Isaiah 41:10: Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightness and justice.  [Isaiah 41:10 Amplified Bible] That is why even though we encounter virtually the same struggles, the same pains, the same hardships as other people, Church Of Christ members rely, depend, and in fact, we can say lean on and fully believe in God’s promises to us, His people. This is what makes us so resilient, so that even if we may feel down in the dumps, when a serious problem comes upon us, we’re able to get back up on our feet.  And no surprise because this was also what befell the apostles in their time. As we can read in II Corinthians 4:8-9:  We are pressed on every side by troubles, but not crushed and broken. We are perplexed because we don’t know why things happen as they do, but we don’t give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going.  [II Corinthians 4:8-9 Living Bible] The apostles were not spared from experiencing severe troubles in life as we can glean from this citation. But again, because they placed their hope and their trust in God, every time they were knocked down, they were able to get up again. Because God will never abandon His loyal and faithful servants. Because of this, God’s many acts of kindness, they should be reflected upon from time to time by His people. Martin Zerrudo: That’s amazing that there are so many verses that point to that process of reflection and introspection and how that all weaves into our faith. What would you say, Brother Donald, is the purpose for self-reflection? And what does it ultimately mean for members of the Church Of Christ? Bro. Donald: You know, Brother Martin, self-reflection gives us the precious opportunity to consider the condition of our life. To meditate on perhaps the mistakes that we have made when it comes to our judgment calls, and how we can improve for the future. And being members of the Church, there’s an added layer of contemplation, and that is to consider the condition of our relationship with God, and how we have reacted when immense problems have risen up in our life. That is why the Bible recommends the following:  When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions: Wait for hope to appear. Don’t run from trouble. Take it full-face. The “worst” is never the worst. Why? Because the Master won’t ever walk out and fail to return. If he works severely, he also works tenderly. His stockpiles of loyal love are immense. He takes no pleasure in making life hard, in throwing roadblocks in the way: … GOD proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It’s a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from GOD.  [Lamentations 3:28-33, 25-26 The Message] We know that all people are bound to experience troubles in life. In fact, we can read that in Job 5:7. Those whom God recognizes however as His people, they have a distinct advantage when it comes to overcoming the troubles and tribulations of life. And even though sometimes we may feel that life is indeed heavy and hard to take, we should never be discouraged nor lose hope. What we should do is, as the Bible teaches, bow in prayer, and wait for hope to appear. The Bible assures us that it’s a good thing to hope for help from God, and that we’ll not be disappointed because God proves to be good to His people who wait patiently for Him. Especially at these times, Brother Martin, as you know, where because of this pandemic, the life of virtually all people around the world has been affected adversely. And there is indeed an increase of worry, anxiety and other mental problems.  However, when it comes to again, those whom the Lord our God recognizes as His people, He has promised to help them. So it is incumbent upon the people of God to place their hope and trust in Him. And one way we can do this is to believe in the power of prayer, communicating with our Father in heaven, meditating upon our life and our situation, taking those periods of self-reflection, in order for us to avail of God’s promises for us to continue to live a safe and productive life and most especially when it comes to remaining in close relationship with our Almighty God. Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much, Brother Donald, those verses were so very inspirational and the way that you were able to weave them into not only past struggles that maybe some of us have gone through, but the current struggles that are happening right now. We want to thank you so much, Brother Donald, for being on our show again today. Bro. Donald: Oh, thank you so much for having me, Brother Martin. Martin Zerrudo: Absolutely. We always look forward to having you on the show. And for our listeners, please continue to follow our hashtag on Instagram, #heartandsoulconversations to stay up to date with all things Heart &amp; Soul. That’s it from us today. Hope we were able to help, hope you were able to connect and hope you’ll join us next time ready to listen with all your heart and soul. Take a few moments to reflect and be thankful because you’re not in this alone. Take care. The post What Does Self-Reflection Mean? appeared first on incmedia.org.

Reflecting on life can be effective in providing insight and perspective. But sometimes it’s not always no clear. So, what does self-reflection mean?Show/Hide Transcript What Does Self-Reflection Mean? [Lead In] Martin Zerrudo: When you reflect on the meaning of your own life, the struggles you’ve gone through, how does it make you feel? Strong for having gone through it? Sad for having to still deal with it? What does self-reflection really mean in the grand scheme of things? And more importantly, what do you think God is trying to tell you? Let’s have a Heart &amp; Soul conversation.  [Show open] Martin Zerrudo: Hello, everyone, hope we’re finding you well, and that you and your family continue to be safe and healthy at this time. When talking about the importance of self-reflection. It’s an area that a lot of people can use some help with. According to some <a href="https://brandminds.live/the-self-improvement-industry-is-estimated-to-grow-to-13-2-billion-by-2022/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">studies</a>, the self help industry will be worth over $13 billion in 2022. This translates to millions of different methods out there meant to help us with how to reflect or how to get through the hardest times in our life. We recently asked on our Instagram <a href="https://www.instagram.com/incmedianews/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">@incmedianews</a> using <a href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/heartandsoulconversations/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">#heartandsoulconversations</a>, what kind of struggles in life have you gone through, and here’s what you had to say. [Heart &amp; Soul Listeners] Crippling levels of undiagnosed clinical depression, anxiety and migraines. I thought that was simply how people lived, and assumed that it was normal. I wasn’t happy most of the time, all the way up through high school. Being in a family that moves from one place to another, we’re trained that our lives change every two years. And so we must learn to adapt. As the new kid in town all the time I had to adjust. I did my best to excel my classes that I got bullied for being included in the honor roll. Even teachers and faculty staff bullied me, even parents who lived near us spread rumors about me. Growing up being the unreasonably disliked kid was tough. I would say loneliness, though there are those times when I felt the heaviness of being lonely, or feeling like I don’t have anybody there for me when I’m going through a hard time. And just feeling like I don’t have any friends. Martin Zerrudo: According to <a href="https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/general/giving-up-on-life-it-could-be-a-sign-you-need-help/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">betterhelp.com</a> three of the most common reasons why people give up on life are mental health issues, the feeling of not fitting in, and loneliness. And if you listen back to those clips that we just played, those listeners were going through exactly those things. So why didn’t they give up? Well, we asked them, Why didn’t those struggles break your will?  [Heart &amp; Soul Listeners] What kept me going through day to day and dark nights were singing hymns and praying to God. It was traumatic. But it was also the time that I learned how faith works. When I feel like I’m on the brink of giving up, God provides a light of hope. And to know good things and good people are out there. I just have to keep praying and always have that sense of hope. Martin Zerrudo: For some of our listeners, when it came to <a href="https://incmedia.org/how-to-find-true-happiness/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">struggles</a>, it surprised them how hard it would hurt, especially when it came from a place that they least expected. [Heart &amp; Soul Listeners] Being hit hard with my anxiety due to finding out the people I thought were my friends weren’t really treating me as one behind my back. I didn’t expect it to affect me to that extent. But it really shook my mental state at that time. I felt alone and my anxiety made me feel like I had no one to trust anymore. Because despite having the purest of intentions, people will still find something to pick on about you. Martin Zerrudo: Thankfully, as members of the Church Of Christ, when we take the time to reflect we have the ability to combine our self-reflection and introspection with our faith. [Heart &amp; Soul Listeners] But I am so glad I got through that. Crying out everything to Him during my nightly devotional prayers really helped me get through that tough part. And I can honestly say that, despite it being a painful experience, it woke me up to the realities of life. And I learned so much from it. I just always keep in mind that our Lord God won’t ever leave our sides when things get hard. Martin Zerrudo: And even though it’s <a href="https://incmedia.org/how-do-i-know-god-is-listening-to-my-prayers/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">not always clear</a> what God is trying to tell us at any given moment, our trust in Him remains unwavering, no matter what. [Heart &amp; Soul Listeners] I always exhaust and pressure myself to do things beyond my limits, which sometimes leads me to anxiety. In fact, I did wish that God would just write His will on the wall, or speak to me with an audible voice for me to know which path to take to avoid failures. But I know God rarely chooses to make His will for my life that obvious. He wants us to be persistent in seeking His guidance, and to always trust in the promise He bestowed. I’m truly thankful that He helped me to always understand His will and obey with all my heart. Now, I overcome the fear of taking risks and the fear of failing because I know God loves me. And His love won’t lead me astray. Martin Zerrudo: Joining us now is a show favorite of ours, minister of the gospel, Brother Donald Pinnock. Brother Donald, how are you today? Bro. Donald: I’m not too bad, Brother Martin, it’s good to hear from you. Martin Zerrudo: Happy to have you on today. Brother Donald, you know, as we talk about self-reflection and the struggles that people go through, what struggles in life have you gone through? And why didn’t those struggles break you? Bro. Donald: Well, what immediately comes to mind, Brother Martin, is when I left Canada to pursue my studies in the ministry there in the Philippines in 1992. Of course, it was very, very difficult to leave behind my parents who, of course, were getting on in age, when it comes to my siblings, and also my close friends. Even when it comes to my place of employment. And not only that, having to adjust to a culture that was very foreign to me, other people there, this just made the situation <a href="https://incmedia.org/trusting-god-in-hard-times/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">extremely hard</a>.  Of course, before I left, I tried to prepare myself as best as I could. But when you’re actually there, and feeling like a total stranger and alien to everyone and everything, emotionally, it was very, very taxing. But I truly believe that God wanted me to be there. And that belief acted as a catalyst for me, in order for me to immerse myself in the culture. And also when it came to my <a href="https://incmedia.org/learning-biblical-truth-not-interpretations/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">studies</a>. Martin Zerrudo: Now, looking back on it many years removed from that situation, do you feel like maybe your apprehension was … was it an overreaction, an underreaction, or was what you expected exactly what ended up happening? Bro. Donald: Well, fortunately, before I began my studies in 1992, I did visit the Philippines in 1990. It was just for a few weeks and I was able to visit my wife’s family there. And again, that was my first trip to the Philippines. And there, we can say there was a bit of a culture shock when it comes to the stark reality of how many people were really struggling there, when it came to the economy and when it comes to other living conditions for so many. So in truth, that initial visit there to the Philippines, it kind of helped, kind of helped. But when it came to going there in 1992, and to be there for the next five years, well, that’s all the more that, you know, reality hit me. So my apprehension, I believe, was in a way, an attempt to brace myself. But when I was actually there, knowing that I had left my family and my friends and everything else there in North America to pursue my studies, you know, being human, of course, it was very difficult, extremely difficult. Martin Zerrudo: Right. And you know, that difficulty, perhaps they didn’t go into ministry but when you know, after hearing those clips, it shows that members of the Church Of Christ are not immune to the struggles in life. Even when they pursue their dreams, they’re not immune to those challenges. So what makes us all the more resilient to those struggles? Bro. Donald: Well, the same reason why I was able to overcome my personal struggles then when I was beginning my studies and until now, when different kinds of challenges come in different forms. Being members of the Church Of Christ, we are resilient, not because of our own ability, but rather because we place our hope and <a href="https://incmedia.org/trusting-god-in-hard-times/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">trust in God</a>. We trust that He will give us the strength, the courage, the guidance, in order for us to overcome whatever we may encounter in life.  In fact, it’s no surprise because God has made and fulfilled such promises to His people in the past, as we can read here in Isaiah 40:28-31:  Don’t you know? Haven’t you heard? The LORD is the everlasting God; he created all the world. He never grows tired or weary. No one understands his thoughts. He strengthens those who are weak and tired. Even those who are young grow weak; young people can fall exhausted. But those who trust in the LORD for help will find their strength renewed. They will rise on wings like eagles; they will run and not get weary; they will walk and not grow weak.  [Isaiah 40:28-31 Today’s English Version] As this Bible citation reminds us, it’s not just the old but even the young who can grow weak and feel exhausted, especially considering the current time that we are living in. But God has promised to strengthen His people who place their hope and their trust in Him. In fact, God further encourages us with a following declaration written in Isaiah 41:10: Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightness and justice. [Isaiah 41:10 Amplified Bible] That is why even though we encounter virtually the same struggles, the same pains, the same hardships as other people, Church Of Christ members rely, depend, and in fact, we can say lean on and fully believe in God’s promises to us, <a href="https://incmedia.org/who-are-gods-children/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">His people</a>. This is what makes us so resilient, so that even if we may feel down in the dumps, when a serious problem comes upon us, we’re able to get back up on our feet.  And no surprise because this was also what befell the apostles in their time. As we can read in II Corinthians 4:8-9:  We are pressed on every side by troubles, but not crushed and broken. We are perplexed because we don’t know why things happen as they do, but we don’t give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going.  [II Corinthians 4:8-9 Living Bible] The apostles were not spared from experiencing severe troubles in life as we can glean from this citation. But again, because they placed their hope and their trust in God, every time they were knocked down, they were able to get up again. Because God will never abandon His loyal and faithful servants. Because of this, God’s many acts of kindness, they should be reflected upon from time to time by His people. Martin Zerrudo: That’s amazing that there are so many verses that point to that process of reflection and introspection and how that all weaves into our faith. What would you say, Brother Donald, is the purpose for self-reflection? And what does it ultimately mean for members of the Church Of Christ? Bro. Donald: You know, Brother Martin, self-reflection gives us the precious opportunity to consider the condition of our life. To meditate on perhaps the mistakes that we have made when it comes to our judgment calls, and how we can improve for the future. And being members of the Church, there’s an added layer of contemplation, and that is to consider the condition of our relationship with God, and how we have reacted when immense problems have risen up in our life. That is why the Bible recommends the following:  When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions: Wait for hope to appear. Don’t run from trouble. Take it full-face. The “worst” is never the worst. Why? Because the Master won’t ever walk out and fail to return. If he works severely, he also works tenderly. His stockpiles of loyal love are immense. He takes no pleasure in making life hard, in throwing roadblocks in the way: … GOD proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It’s a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from GOD. [Lamentations 3:28-33, 25-26 The Message] We know that all people are bound to experience troubles in life. In fact, we can read that in Job 5:7. Those whom God recognizes however as His people, they have a distinct advantage when it comes to overcoming the <a href="https://incmedia.org/worried-about-the-future-trust-god-instead/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">troubles and tribulations</a> of life. And even though sometimes we may feel that life is indeed heavy and hard to take, we should never be discouraged nor lose hope. What we should do is, as the Bible teaches, bow in prayer, and wait for hope to appear. The Bible assures us that it’s a good thing to hope for help from God, and that we’ll not be disappointed because God proves to be good to His people who wait patiently for Him. Especially at these times, Brother Martin, as you know, where because of this pandemic, the life of virtually all people around the world has been affected adversely. And there is indeed an increase of worry, anxiety and other mental problems.  However, when it comes to again, those whom the Lord our God recognizes as His people, He has promised to help them. So it is incumbent upon the people of God to place their hope and trust in Him. And one way we can do this is to believe in the power of prayer, communicating with our Father in heaven, meditating upon our life and our situation, taking those periods of self-reflection, in order for us to avail of God’s promises for us to continue to live a safe and productive life and most especially when it comes to remaining in close relationship with our Almighty God. Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much, Brother Donald, those verses were so very inspirational and the way that you were able to weave them into not only past struggles that maybe some of us have gone through, but the current struggles that are happening right now. We want to thank you so much, Brother Donald, for being on our show again today. Bro. Donald: Oh, thank you so much for having me, Brother Martin. Martin Zerrudo: Absolutely. We always look forward to having you on the show. And for our listeners, please continue to follow our hashtag on Instagram, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/heartandsoulconversations/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">#heartandsoulconversations</a> to stay up to date with all things Heart &amp; Soul. That’s it from us today. Hope we were able to help, hope you were able to connect and hope you’ll join us next time ready to listen with all your heart and soul. Take a few moments to reflect and be thankful because you’re not in this alone. Take care. The post <a href="https://incmedia.org/what-does-self-reflection-mean/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">What Does Self-Reflection Mean?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://incmedia.org" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">incmedia.org</a>.

What Does Self-Reflection Mean?

Find out why saying something nice can have the power to change the course of someone’s life.Show/Hide TranscriptSay Something Nice [Lead In] Martin Zerrudo: When was the last time someone said something nice to you? When was the last time you said something nice to someone else? What did they say? How did it make you feel? Is it something that happens often? Or maybe not often enough? Can a few simple words of kindness actually change people’s lives?  Let’s have a Heart &amp; Soul conversation.  [Show open] [Heart &amp; Soul Listeners] Not to be cheesy, but thanks for being the best brother that I could ask for. Love you mom and dad! My boy best friend. I love you, dude. I’m grateful for you. Even though I don’t show it. Thank you for introducing me to my wife, and being my oldest friend. [Music Transition] Martin Zerrudo: Hey, everyone, hope you’re all doing well and are safe and healthy at home. We’re going to start off with a recent study that shows that if you say something nice to someone, you can instantaneously improve their way of life.  Here’s what the National Institute of Physiological Sciences in Japan has to say:  “Research shows receiving a compliment can enhance performance, social interaction, positivity in relationships, and increase general happiness. Not bad for something that’s completely free and takes literally seconds to do. Now with all those benefits and with such little effort involved, you would think complimenting someone or having a good thing to say about someone should happen a little bit more often” But does it? Well. Here’s an article from the Huffington Post with their take on it: “With all the angst and frustration, a kind word could be the difference between holding on and giving up. Yet, society glamorizes ‘Mean Girls’ and bullying culture. From celebrities to athletes to our school children, we blame the victims of bullying for not standing up. And we incentivize bullies for showing strength. We shamed those that have less or cannot keep up with the Joneses.”  And if you couple that with a pandemic, where studies show 1 in 3 people right now are suffering from depression or anxiety as a direct result of COVID-19, it’s a pretty bleak world out there, which is why we wanted to highlight a social media post we created back in January of 2020, right before this all started. We asked you, our audience, to show a little bit of love. To surprise someone by saying something nice about them and tagging them in the comments. We thought the power of a kind word was something they could really use because according to becomingminimalist.com:  “a kind word can speak power to someone’s life. It can inspire, it can motivate, and it can provide strength to someone who can’t find it within themselves.” And that’s exactly what you all did. From random nice things to meaningful words from the heart. Here’s what you had to say. [Heart &amp; Soul Listeners] Thank you for always listening to me when I need someone to vent to. I really admire everything you do for everyone around you. But especially our District. Whenever I start getting lazy, you really are my inspiration to be better. Thanks for being my older sister and my role model. Even when I get on your last nerve, you still tolerate me. So that’s nice. You were the one who taught me how to be active and strong through example, and you’re the one whom I know I can confide in when I’m lost. Because I’m always lost. Sorry about that. My best friend, you stayed with me during my ups and downs, and you’re truly an amazing friend to talk to. You were always there when I had no one to talk to until this day. I pray that we get to see each other someday and talk about the craziest things from the distance between California and Guam. Thank you for everything, Bestie. Love you. I respect you so much for being an organist. I know it’s not easy, squeezing in personal organ practice time with your busy schedule. Seeing you practice super early in the morning and late night. Even if you only get a few hours of sleep is a dedication I very much respect. You inspire me to want to do the same. The love you feel when you play is evident. And I hope to feel that too someday. You always wowed me with your growth as a woman. Your heart is pure and you have the spirit of a warrior. I’m proud to be your sister. Be the wise and kind woman that you ought to be because that will help you withstand every trial that you will face and battles that you have to face alone. But keep in mind, I’m always cheering for you.  Martin Zerrudo: A kind word can even be used to express and even share our faith. [Heart &amp; Soul Listeners] Your ever growing faith gives me strength, especially now that I’m feeling weaker. You rekindle the fire in me to keep going. I appreciate your kindness, care and reminders to me. And I pray that God blesses you in every way for a bright future that allows you to serve Him without hindrances. Martin Zerrudo: Joining us now is Bro. Donald Pinnock, a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ. Hello, Bro. Donald. Bro. Donald: Hello, Bro. Martin, and thank you for the invitation. Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much for joining us, Bro. Donald, I want to start off by saying something nice about you. Thank you for always being humble yet strong. I remember as a young teen, you were our minister in the local congregation of Scarborough, and you walked with such poise and grace, but you never drew attention to yourself. And I thought, wow, he’s so, he’s so humble. But when it came to preaching and being a good leader to us spiritually, it was always so very inspiring and strong. And so I just wanted to say thank you for always being so humble, yet strong, as a spiritual leader in the Church Of Christ. Bro. Donald: Well, thank you for saying that Bro. Martin. I don’t really have a response to that. I can’t say, you know, perhaps you were delusional when you’re younger. But yet, in fact, since this episode is about kind words, well, you started it off on the right track by saying what you just said. In turn, what can I say? I am very, very happy to know you, somebody who’s extremely talented, and thinks outside the box, I don’t know if you’ve ever thought inside the box.  Martin Zerrudo: Uh, no.  Bro. Donald: Yes, really, really glad to know you, as someone who I can have very, very entertaining conversations with, and at the same time learn from because age is not proof that one is wise. One can always learn from others. As I say, nobody knows everything. But everybody knows something. So if you’re ready to listen, you can learn from another and I’m very glad to learn from you. Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much, Bro. Donald. Now speaking of saying something nice. Has anyone said something to you that really positively affected your way of life? Bro. Donald: Definitely. An incident comes to mind. And this happened many, many years in fact, decades ago, when I was going through a very, very rough patch in life. In fact, my life in ways was going in the wrong direction. And that’s when a friend of a friend noticed this. Noticed that I was also feeling down in the doldrums. And she took the time to talk to me. And in fact, talking to her turned out to be one of the most pivotal conversations I’ve ever had in my entire life. It virtually lit a fire within me and changed the direction of the course of my life.  Just the positivity, the encouragement, and “you can do it” comments. It boosted me so much that when it comes to the effects of those kind but inspiring words that were spoken with so much love and also sincerity, well, the effects of those words, they continue to reverberate even until my present day. Martin Zerrudo: And why are words so powerful in affecting people? Bro. Donald: You know, the proper words at the right time can invoke an emotional response that is for the betterment of the listener. But it’s not just the words per se, but also the feeling, the sentiment, the emotion behind those words. In fact, the Bible teaches this in Ephesians 4:29: Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.  [Ephesians 4:29 New International Version] You mentioned earlier, Bro. Martin, that so many people are lacking that human touch, not just physically but also emotionally. Since especially now they’re being deprived of social interaction due to the lockdown, stay-at-home protocols being implemented by government bodies all around the world. Virtual or digital interaction, it can satisfy a segment or portion of that emotional need, but never ever to the level of when you’re actually in the same physical space with another. But even so, sincere words whether spoken face to face with an individual or online using social media platforms, those sincere words are at a premium at this time, so many people need to feel loved. And this is why the Church Of Christ members all throughout the world, they’re reaching out not only to their fellow brethren but to everyone around them. Martin Zerrudo: Now, what words should we turn to when we feel this way? You know, there’s that question as well of, of connection and authenticity. You may see it and you may hear it on social media online. But what if you don’t know those people? What if you don’t believe what they’re saying? What if it’s hard for you to take the sincerity from it? Where should we turn to in those times of trial? Bro. Donald: Well, again, those sincere and affectionate words, they are important to combat feelings of loneliness, and if one is getting down or desperate. However, when one is really going through severe trials in life, there are no better words than those written in the Bible. And a very good example of this is mentioned by the Lord Jesus Christ recorded here in John 16:33:  I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.] [John 16:33 Amplified Bible] This is what the members of the Church Of Christ have been reminded of, that through our Lord Jesus Christ, they may have peace and confidence in the midst of those fiery difficulties, of those trials, of those frustrations. That is a really heartwarming promise, considering the world which we are now living in. Martin Zerrudo: And what words would you have for our audience, Bro. Donald? You know, we have listeners all over the world who could use a little bit of inspiration, a little bit of sincere, authentic kindness. What would you say to them? Bro. Donald: Well, regardless of who you are, or where you may be living, whether you’re married, or you’re living alone, be you young or old, we only have the sincerest of words and thoughts for all of you. We pray that you’re going to be kept safe from the ravages of this pandemic, that you are going to remain confident, positively minded, you’re going to remain jovial in the midst of all of this chaos. So, our dear listeners, keep on smiling, because someone does love you. The Church Of Christ members love one another, and they also love their neighbors. The very reason why, in expression of our love, we continue to extend that invitation for all of you to know why we draw strength and encouragement from the words of God that we believe in and live by. So do not despair, dear friends, even though yes, since the beginning of 2020 until now, life has been extremely difficult, extremely challenging. And even though we hear of vaccines being dispersed, at the same time, when it comes to a return to some level of normalcy that we enjoyed before the outbreak of this pandemic, it could still be a long way off.  But let’s be thankful for what we have, and not be so down when it comes to what we don’t have. Find time to smile, find time for yourself, and find time for others. That as we receive kind words, then in turn, we can also express kind words to those around us. And virtually together we can get through this safely. And most especially for us, members of the Church Of Christ, we can continue to give praise to our Creator. Martin Zerrudo: I want to thank you so much for joining us, Bro. Donald. And again to our listeners, I just want to echo what Bro. Donald said, you know, stay hopeful. We’re in this together. Though we may be physically distant, we remain spiritually united. And for those who are not members of the Church Of Christ, who may be listening and this podcast was shared with you, the most effective and sincere and most powerful way we could express our words to be of help to you positively is to just learn more about the Church Of Christ. And like Bro. Donald said, we guarantee it is something that will change your life. And so we want to thank you all for joining us.  Please continue to follow us on our hashtag on Instagram, #heartandsoulconversations to stay up to date with all things Heart &amp; Soul. That’s it from us today. We hope we were able to help, we hope we were able to connect and we hope you’ll join us next time ready to listen with all of your heart and soul. Oh, and say something nice to someone today. They just might need it. Take care. The post Say Something Nice appeared first on incmedia.org.

Find out why saying something nice can have the power to change the course of someone’s life.Show/Hide Transcript Say Something Nice [Lead In] Martin Zerrudo: When was the last time someone said something nice to you? When was the last time you said something nice to someone else? What did they say? How did it make you feel? Is it something that happens often? Or maybe not often enough? Can a few simple words of <a href="https://incmedia.org/the-healing-power-of-kindness/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">kindness</a> actually change people’s lives?  Let’s have a Heart &amp; Soul conversation.  [Show open] [Heart &amp; Soul Listeners] Not to be cheesy, but thanks for being the best brother that I could ask for. Love you mom and dad! My boy best friend. I love you, dude. I’m grateful for you. Even though I don’t show it. Thank you for introducing me to my wife, and being my oldest friend. [Music Transition] Martin Zerrudo: Hey, everyone, hope you’re all doing well and are safe and healthy at home. We’re going to start off with a recent study that shows that if you say something nice to someone, you can instantaneously improve their way of life.  Here’s what the <a href="http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0048174" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">National Institute of Physiological Sciences in Japan</a> has to say:  “Research shows receiving a compliment can enhance performance, social interaction, positivity in relationships, and increase general happiness. Not bad for something that’s completely free and takes literally seconds to do. Now with all those benefits and with such little effort involved, you would think complimenting someone or having a good thing to say about someone should happen a little bit more often” But does it? Well. Here’s an article from the <a href="https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-power-of-a-kind-word_b_5713127" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Huffington Post</a> with their take on it: “With all the angst and frustration, a kind word could be the difference between holding on and giving up. Yet, society glamorizes ‘Mean Girls’ and bullying culture. From celebrities to athletes to our school children, we blame the victims of bullying for not standing up. And we incentivize bullies for showing strength. We shamed those that have less or cannot keep up with the Joneses.”  And if you couple that with a pandemic, where studies show <a href="https://www.futurity.org/anxiety-depression-covid-19-2508972/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">1 in 3 people right now are suffering</a> from depression or anxiety as a direct result of COVID-19, it’s a pretty bleak world out there, which is why we wanted to highlight a social media post we created back in January of 2020, right before this all started. We asked you, our audience, to show a little bit of love. To surprise someone by saying something nice about them and tagging them in the comments. We thought <a href="https://incmedia.org/how-to-teach-kindness-to-kids/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">the power of a kind word</a> was something they could really use because according to <a href="https://www.becomingminimalist.com/power-of-a-kind-word/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">becomingminimalist.com</a>:  “a kind word can speak power to someone’s life. It can inspire, it can motivate, and it can provide strength to someone who can’t find it within themselves.” And that’s exactly what you all did. From random nice things to meaningful words from the heart. Here’s what you had to say. [Heart &amp; Soul Listeners] Thank you for always listening to me when I need someone to vent to. I really admire everything you do for everyone around you. But especially our District. Whenever I start getting lazy, you really are my inspiration to be better. Thanks for being my older sister and my role model. Even when I get on your last nerve, you still tolerate me. So that’s nice. You were the one who taught me how to be active and strong through example, and you’re the one whom I know I can confide in when I’m lost. Because I’m always lost. Sorry about that. My best friend, you stayed with me during my ups and downs, and you’re truly an amazing friend to talk to. You were always there when I had no one to talk to until this day. I pray that we get to see each other someday and talk about the craziest things from the distance between California and Guam. Thank you for everything, Bestie. Love you. I respect you so much for being an organist. I know it’s not easy, squeezing in personal organ practice time with your busy schedule. Seeing you practice super early in the morning and late night. Even if you only get a few hours of sleep is a dedication I very much respect. You inspire me to want to do the same. The love you feel when you play is evident. And I hope to feel that too someday. You always wowed me with your growth as a woman. Your heart is pure and you have the spirit of a warrior. I’m proud to be your sister. Be the wise and kind woman that you ought to be because that will help you withstand every trial that you will face and battles that you have to face alone. But keep in mind, I’m always cheering for you.  Martin Zerrudo: A kind word can even be used to express and even <a href="https://incmedia.org/get-to-know-us/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">share our faith</a>. [Heart &amp; Soul Listeners] Your ever growing faith gives me strength, especially now that I’m feeling weaker. You rekindle the fire in me to keep going. I appreciate your kindness, care and reminders to me. And I pray that God blesses you in every way for a bright future that allows you to serve Him without hindrances. Martin Zerrudo: Joining us now is Bro. Donald Pinnock, a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ. Hello, Bro. Donald. Bro. Donald: Hello, Bro. Martin, and thank you for the invitation. Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much for joining us, Bro. Donald, I want to start off by saying something nice about you. Thank you for always being humble yet strong. I remember as a young teen, you were our minister in the local congregation of Scarborough, and you walked with such poise and grace, but you never drew attention to yourself. And I thought, wow, he’s so, he’s so humble. But when it came to preaching and being a good leader to us spiritually, it was always so <a href="https://incmedia.org/the-solution/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">very inspiring and strong</a>. And so I just wanted to say thank you for always being so humble, yet strong, as a spiritual leader in the Church Of Christ. Bro. Donald: Well, thank you for saying that Bro. Martin. I don’t really have a response to that. I can’t say, you know, perhaps you were delusional when you’re younger. But yet, in fact, since this episode is about kind words, well, you started it off on the right track by saying what you just said. In turn, what can I say? I am very, very happy to know you, somebody who’s extremely talented, and thinks outside the box, I don’t know if you’ve ever thought inside the box.  Martin Zerrudo: Uh, no.  Bro. Donald: Yes, really, really glad to know you, as someone who I can have very, very entertaining conversations with, and at the same time learn from because age is not proof that one is wise. One can always learn from others. As I say, nobody knows everything. But everybody knows something. So if you’re ready to listen, you can learn from another and I’m very glad to learn from you. Martin Zerrudo: Thank you so much, Bro. Donald. Now speaking of saying something nice. Has anyone said something to you that really positively affected your way of life? Bro. Donald: Definitely. An incident comes to mind. And this happened many, many years in fact, decades ago, when I was going through a very, very <a href="https://incmedia.org/overcoming-sadness-in-the-midst-of-chaos/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">rough patch in life</a>. In fact, my life in ways was going in the wrong direction. And that’s when a friend of a friend noticed this. Noticed that I was also feeling down in the doldrums. And she took the time to talk to me. And in fact, talking to her turned out to be one of the most pivotal conversations I’ve ever had in my entire life. It virtually lit a fire within me and changed the direction of the course of my life.  Just the positivity, the encouragement, and “you can do it” comments. It boosted me so much that when it comes to the effects of those kind but inspiring words that were spoken with so much love and also sincerity, well, the effects of those words, they continue to reverberate even until my present day. Martin Zerrudo: And why are words so powerful in affecting people? Bro. Donald: You know, the proper words at the right time can invoke an emotional response that is for the betterment of the listener. But it’s not just the words per se, but also the feeling, the sentiment, the emotion behind those words. In fact, the Bible teaches this in Ephesians 4:29: Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. [Ephesians 4:29 New International Version] You mentioned earlier, Bro. Martin, that so many people are lacking that human touch, not just physically but also emotionally. Since especially now they’re being deprived of social interaction due to the lockdown, stay-at-home protocols being implemented by government bodies all around the world. Virtual or digital interaction, it can satisfy a segment or portion of that emotional need, but never ever to the level of when you’re actually in the same physical space with another. But even so, sincere words whether spoken face to face with an individual or online using social media platforms, those sincere words are at a premium at this time, so many <a href="https://incmedia.org/remaining-hopeful-as-families-amid-trials/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">people need to feel loved</a>. And this is why the Church Of Christ members all throughout the world, they’re reaching out not only to their fellow brethren but to everyone around them. Martin Zerrudo: Now, what words should we turn to when we feel this way? You know, there’s that question as well of, of connection and authenticity. You may see it and you may hear it on social media online. But what if you don’t know those people? What if you don’t believe what they’re saying? What if it’s hard for you to take the sincerity from it? Where should we turn to in those times of trial? Bro. Donald: Well, again, those sincere and affectionate words, they are important to combat feelings of loneliness, and if one is getting down or desperate. However, when one is really going through severe trials in life, there are no better words than those written in the Bible. And a very good example of this is mentioned by the Lord Jesus Christ recorded here in John 16:33:  I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.] [John 16:33 Amplified Bible] This is what the members of the Church Of Christ have been reminded of, that through our Lord Jesus Christ, they may have peace and confidence in the midst of those fiery difficulties, of those trials, of those frustrations. That is a really heartwarming promise, considering the world which we are now living in. Martin Zerrudo: And what words would you have for our audience, Bro. Donald? You know, we have listeners all over the world who could use a little bit of inspiration, a little bit of sincere, authentic kindness. What would you say to them? Bro. Donald: Well, regardless of who you are, or where you may be living, whether you’re married, or you’re living alone, be you young or old, we only have the sincerest of words and thoughts for all of you. We pray that you’re going to be kept safe from the ravages of this pandemic, that you are going to remain confident, positively minded, you’re going to remain jovial in the midst of all of this chaos. So, our dear listeners, keep on smiling, because someone does love you. The Church Of Christ members love one another, and they also love their neighbors. The very reason why, in expression of our love, we continue to extend that invitation for all of you to know why we draw strength and encouragement from the words of God that we believe in and live by. So do not despair, dear friends, even though yes, since the beginning of 2020 until now, life has been extremely difficult, extremely challenging. And even though we hear of vaccines being dispersed, at the same time, when it comes to a return to some level of normalcy that we enjoyed before the outbreak of this <a href="https://incmedia.org/staying-positive-during-a-pandemic/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">pandemic</a>, it could still be a long way off.  But let’s be thankful for what we have, and not be so down when it comes to what we don’t have. Find time to smile, find time for yourself, and find time for others. That as we receive kind words, then in turn, we can also express kind words to those around us. And virtually together we can get through this safely. And most especially for us, members of the Church Of Christ, we can continue to give praise to our Creator. Martin Zerrudo: I want to thank you so much for joining us, Bro. Donald. And again to our listeners, I just want to echo what Bro. Donald said, you know, stay hopeful. We’re in this together. Though we may be physically distant, we remain spiritually united. And for those who are not members of the Church Of Christ, who may be listening and this podcast was shared with you, the most effective and sincere and most powerful way we could express our words to be of help to you positively is to just learn more about the Church Of Christ. And like Bro. Donald said, we guarantee it is something that will change your life. And so we want to thank you all for joining us.  Please continue to follow us on our hashtag on<a href="https://www.instagram.com/incmedianews/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Instagram</a>, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/heartandsoulconversations/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">#heartandsoulconversations</a> to stay up to date with all things <a href="https://incmedia.org/heart-and-soul/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Heart &amp; Soul</a>. That’s it from us today. We hope we were able to help, we hope we were able to connect and we hope you’ll join us next time ready to listen with all of your heart and soul. Oh, and say something nice to someone today. They just might need it. Take care. The post <a href="https://incmedia.org/say-something-nice/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Say Something Nice</a> appeared first on <a href="https://incmedia.org" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">incmedia.org</a>.

Say Something Nice

What if you could speak to your future husband or wife? What would you say? What kind of message would you leave for them?Show/Hide TranscriptDear Future Husband, Dear Future Wife [Lead In] Martin Zerrudo: Have you ever wished you owned a time machine? To be able to fast forward into the future to see what God has in store? And when it comes to love, have you ever wondered when you would meet the one you’re going to get married to? Wouldn’t you want to know right now?  Well, since we don’t have a time machine, Heart &amp; Soul has the next best thing. What if you could write a love letter, to your future husband or wife? Let’s have a Heart &amp; Soul conversation. [Show open] [Heart &amp; Soul Listeners] Dear future wife, I’ll do the dishes AND the laundry.  Dear future husband, our future home will stay between 68 and 72 degrees at all times. Dear future wife, whoever you are, wherever you are, we will meet someday. [Music Transition] Martin: Back in August 2019, on Instagram at @incmedianews using #heartandsoulconversations we asked our audience to write a short letter, message, or comment to their future wife or husband. Something for their future partner to look back at and read to see just how long they’ve been praying and thinking about them. We had thousands of replies, ranging from those wondering “God, will I ever get married?” to “I trust God’s perfect timing.” We even had a couple of apologies too. [Heart &amp; Soul Listener] Dear future wife. First of all I would like to apologize. I’m sorry it took so long for me to find you. Sorry I took a detour in my life. But the one thing I’m not sorry about is meeting you and falling in love with you every single day of my life. I may or may not know who you are, but I do know that you will always have a place in my heart and that I will love and cherish you regardless of any trials and hardships that come our way. May we both go on many adventures, and experience new things together. But more importantly, may we always continue to perform our duties and serve the Lord together as one……  [Music Transition] Waiting for the right Christian man to come along is something many of our female listeners are doing right now. But even though they’re waiting, they’re not all in any rush. [Heart &amp; Soul Listener] Dear future husband, hi! I hope you won’t appear soon, I haven’t graduated yet, I want to make Ma &amp; Pa proud, my dream is to study for my masters and if possible for my doctorate, so take your time, there’s no rush, I know you’ll arrive in God’s perfect time. Martin: And even if some are eager to find the right Christian man soon, their thoughts remain hopeful, and focused on an even greater purpose. [Heart &amp; Soul Listener] To my future husband, I might be so lost right now, but I know I’ll find my way to you, through our God. Wherever you are, I hope you are staying safe and healthy! I can’t wait for the day when I’ll be able to finally meet you. I look forward to come home to you, everyday. For now, let us keep ourselves busy and occupied doing works for our Almighty Father. Martin: Some of our male listeners even asked for a little patience, while they continued trusting in God for a wife. [Heart &amp; Soul Listener] Dear Future Wife: I have a message for you… I know you’re out there. Somewhere. I know you’re waiting for me to find you. But please, I beg you. Be patient. Each day that passes brings me closer and closer to you. I’m working on myself. I want to be that knight in shining armor for you. So I’m working on being more active in the Church than I’ve ever been. I’m working on performing my duties to a higher level. Because it’s the armor of God I want to have on for you. I pray that you can wait for me. I pray for your happiness. I pray for you every day. I pray you’ll be the one that inspires me to be stronger. I pray that you continue to be active in the Church. Because I know that God won’t let us truly see each other until we are both ready. I can’t promise you that we’ll have a perfect relationship but what I can promise is that I will love you every single day of my life.  I know i’m not perfect and I have a couple of flaws, but I know you will accept me wholeheartedly.  I have a lot of things to say to you, my future wife, but I prefer to say it to you personally, whoever you are. You know our Almighty God knows best, and I trust in His timing. You’ll be worth the wait. Martin: Joining us now is Bro. Donald Pinnock, a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ. Hello Brother Donald! Bro. Donald: Hello, Bro. Martin! How are you? Martin: I’m good. Thank you so much for joining us. Now when you were younger, did you ever imagine the kind of wife you would end up with? How did you meet your wife and what can you say after all these years, on the journey you’ve gone on together? Bro. Donald: Hello to all of our listeners. And to answer your first question, yes, when I was younger, like many other people I was wondering where out there in the world was Mrs. Right for me. What would she look like? Where would we meet? And how could I be sure that she was the one? All of these and other questions entertained my thoughts especially when I started to enter adulthood. Then, eventually in 1984, I met Lyda. I never imagined that she would become my wife a few years later. In fact, she was very active when it comes to her Church activities, most especially when it came to inviting people to Church activities, primarily when it comes to the worship services and Bible Studies. And she did exactly for me; she invited me to attend a worship service, which I did. I kept on going because it was interesting and at that time in my life I was really looking for answers.  Eventually I underwent Bible Studies and all thanks be to God, I eventually become a baptized member of the Church. However, during all that time, when it came to myself and Lyda, we didn’t share any romantic feelings for one another. But, as the passage of time, or as we went through the passage of time, we got to know each other better, and we started to develop and appreciate a deeper understanding, until we reached the point when we realized that it was actually God, God was the one who was bringing us together. So because of this we got married in December, 1986. For many years before then, I had a mental image and assessment of whom I thought would be the wife for me. But instead, I eventually discovered that God knew who was best for me, just as what the Bible teaches in Proverbs 19:14: Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD. [Proverbs 19:14 New International Version] Bro. Donald: And when we say prudent, sensible, and understanding wife a suitable spouse. And that is exactly how I can describe Lyda. She understands me. She is very helpful. And of course she is caring and she’s also loving. So when it comes to single adults this is something that we should understand; that when it comes the soulmate that we may be looking for, when we’re looking for that significant other, we can’t base it just on physical looks. We can’t base it on how we think that person is. We have to really know them but at the same time we need to let the Lord our God act on our behalf. God is the one who will help one or another to find their significant other. Martin: That’s such a wonderful story Brother Donald. And you know, in the process of you growing up, becoming a young adult, did you ever feel impatient like you wanted that special someone to come sooner? Were you someone who was like, oh, when when she comes, she comes and I’m not in any rush?  Bro. Donald: Oh, in truth, as I entered into adulthood, of course, the search was on in ways it’s almost automatic. And I was looking for someone significant. Of course, I would meet certain individuals. But that spark, we can say that chemistry wasn’t quite there. So even though it may be fleeting, or momentarily, it wasn’t something that was going to last it didn’t fill that certain void within me. You know, the search went on.  Martin: Now what advantage Brother Donald do members of the Church Of Christ have one trusting God in their singleness or single life and how does it help them feel less alone? Because for those single right now who might be listening, that’s why there’s so much urgency, is because they feel alone. They feel like they need to fill that void as soon as possible. And that’s why they need to find someone as soon as possible.  Bro. Donald: Yes, well as being members of the Church Of Christ, what is very, very important, in fact, it’s absolutely critical is for one to place their hope and their trust, and we’re talking about wholehearted hope and trust in God. Because God makes known the reason why we should do so in Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. [Jeremiah 29:11 New International Version] Bro. Donald: It’s quite evident, then that we should trust the Lord our God to bless us in every stage of our life, whether it be in our adolescence, our teenage years, or when we become adults, because God knows what is best for us at any given point. So some may be adults, and they’re enjoying being single, they’re not in a rush to get married, while others may be seeking earnestly that significant other in their life. When it comes to such individuals, they shouldn’t get anxious, nor envious of their peers, if they see them peeling off and getting romantically involved with someone while they remain playing the virtual waiting game. Because while waiting for the time to come, that they may meet, Mr. or Mrs. Right, and then enter into married life with the spouse that God blesses them with, or they should still continue to trust in God. And in fact, let’s have faith in what the Bible says in Psalms 37:4-5: Seek your happiness in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desire. Give yourself to the Lord trusting Him and He will help you. [Psalms 37:4-5 Today’s English Version] Bro. Donald: Again, the key here, I believe Brother Martin, is for one to really place their hope and trust in God, because God knows what’s best, it’s very difficult than it could be a grave mistake to take matters in our own hands in the sense that we meet somebody and without even allowing time to build up a relationship or to get to know that individual, we just rush headlong into marriage. And sad to say it has happened, that there are those who we read about it oftentimes in the news. Were there those who believe that they had chemistry, but that chemistry was just in one aspect of their relationship. And after a short passage of time, they regret their mistakes and they separate ways. Well, this should not be because we also uphold what the Bible teaches about marriage. The Bible teaches that we are bound together by the laws of God, and that is a lifetime bind. So marriage in itself is a lifetime commitment. That is why we should trust God through our prayers, for Him to allow us to meet that individual eventually, that will be right for us.  Martin: And when you mentioned rushing headlong into commitments, and lifelong promises, like marriage, it all the more points to the importance of timing. So what does the Scriptures say about God’s timing?  Bro. Donald: Well, nobody can come close. God knows when a perfect time he strikes on our behalf. And the Bible even teaches that in I Peter 5:6-7:  Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time casting all your care upon him, for he cares for you. [I Peter 5:6-7 New King James Version] Bro. Donald: Please notice, the Bible teaches that God is going to exalt us, He’s going to bless us, He is going to raise us up in due time or at the proper time. And because of this, it is stated that we should cast all our care upon Him, all of our concerns, including the hope of meeting that significant other through prayer, because the Lord our God, He’s going to manifest his care and love for us.  Martin: So as we wait for God’s correct and perfect timing, we noticed that a lot of the comments from our listeners was that they’re okay with waiting for God’s time. They’re okay with knowing that he or she will come when the moment is right. And so why are so many members of the Church Of Christ happy to remain focused on improving and working on their duties and their spiritual lives first?  Bro. Donald: Well, it’s because then we can read in 1 Corinthians 15:58, that when one is busy in serving God, it’s for their betterment. In fact, let’s read the citation.  So then, my dear friends, stand firm and steady. keep busy always in your work for the Lord. Since you know that nothing you do in the Lord service is ever useless.  [1 Corinthians 15:58 Today’s English Version] Bro. Donald: Nothing we do in the Lord service is ever useless meaning to say everything we do in the Lord service is useful or beneficial. All the more we will receive the blessings of God in this life and in the life to come. So that’s why when it comes to many members of the Church, including the young adults, not just the adolescence, they remain fervent when it comes to their worship service, when it comes to helping others to find meaning to the life and existence by inviting them to Church activities, the members of the Church Of Christ, they busy themselves. And this is good in the sight of God.  And not only that, if we consider it on a human level, instead of just sitting in a corner, and be wailing the fact that we haven’t met yet, our future spouse, if we consider what that will do to a person emotionally is it not more that they will become despondent, they’ll feel down? But at the same time, if one is busy, then we have less time to worry about our situation, we won’t be so so anxious, and again, we will not be envious of our close friends or our peers whom we see are getting married.  One thing that we’d like to mention to all the young adults inside the Church is that the Lord our God has made us as when we say perfect in the sense that we are complete. We do not need another individual to make our life more significant or to make us complete. That individual may be supplemental, but when it comes to us personally, well the Lord our God has made us just as He wants us to be. That is why again, it is extremely important that we have a positive outlook on our life, we place our confidence in the Lord our God so that we can enjoy our journey through this word or through this life, knowing that through our compliance with the teachings of God, everything is going to go well for us, we can be confident of this, because this is also the assurance the Bible gives in 1 Samuel 12:14: All will go well with you. If you honor the Lord your God, serve him, listen to him, and obey his commands. And if you and your king follow him, [1 Samuel 12:14] Martin: Thank you so much for that Brother Donald. You know, as I listened to the spiritual guidance that you’re providing through the Scriptures, you know, reminds me of when I was in my early 20s, I used to keep a journal and I would write in those moments where I, you know, felt kind of down and alone and was wondering when I would meet the one who was meant to be with. And as I was writing the script for this episode, I found an entry where I was asking, you know, “what am I going to find you? Where are we going to meet? And how long do I have to wait?” And it makes me smile reading that because even though in those moments when I was younger, I thought I had no idea where when or how you’re right that that I never lost confidence that so long as I stayed true to my faith and to my duties and always putting my focus and trust in God that she would arrive eventually. And she did. Praise be to God. Bro. Donald: Yeah, Praise be to God. Again, we’d like to mention how we shouldn’t become fraught with worry or anxiety as we get older, and we are not yet married. Because what’s most important is our service to God, the ultimate goal. And the aim of every member of the Church is of course, salvation. And on the road to salvation, there are sacrifices, and there are difficulties. There’s a lot of events that we have to endure in order to attain salvation. So for some members of the Church, they don’t mind being by themselves, in the sense that they don’t have a spouse as they continue in their sojourn.  Others may be looking for a spouse, but again, the Lord our God knows what is best. We should not, you know, just jump and grab at something that may pass us by, and then afterwards totally regret our decision, knowing full well that again, being members of the Church, we abide by the teachings of the Bible, that marriage, again, is a lifetime commitment. We don’t want to make that mistake. That is why it is incumbent upon us to place all our hope and trust in God. God knows when the time is. God knows who that individual should be. And if we have to patiently wait. And while patiently waiting, we remain performing our duties at serving God well again we will be blessed. Martin: Thank you so much for that Brother Donald, one last question before we end this episode. You’re a very proud and happy father and now you’re also a proud and very happy grandfather. When little Hezekiah gets a little bit older and he starts you know, reaching that stage in his life where he’s thinking about finding the one, what kind of message would you give him? What kind of advice would you pass to your grandson? Bro. Donald: I would tell Kiah as I call him, to conduct his devotional prayer, when it comes to what will be included in the prayer that God is going to allow him to meet an individual that is going to be someone who not only loves him, and that he in turn loves, but also will be supportive of him when it comes to the faith. That together with God be willing their children, they can remain active in honoring and praising, and also in serving our Father in heaven. That before he gets married, he should be very careful. He does not want the Lord God’s ire or anger to be inflicted upon him, because of the many temptations in this world, but rather to strive to live his life as a as a man of God, even though he may still be young, but a young man of God at that time, knowing full well that again, if he holds on to what God has promised to his chosen people, then he will be successful. And the Lord our God will plot the course of his life, that he can be of benefit when it comes to the Church, that personally he will also be rewarded. And he along with his family, again, they will be blessed Martin: Well we want to thank you so much for joining us, Brother Donald, thank you so much to our listeners. We want to continue this conversation so please follow us using our hashtag on Instagram, #heartandsoulconversations to stay up to date with all things Heart &amp; Soul. That’s it from us today. Hope we were able to help, hope we were able to connect and hope you’ll join us next time, ready to listen with all your heart and soul. Take care. The post Dear Future Husband, Future Wife appeared first on incmedia.org.

Dear Future Husband, Future Wife

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A viewer asks “What role does the man play in the family?” What are the roles and responsibilities of a husband and wife in a Christian marriage?Show/Hide TranscriptHusband and Wife Roles and Responsibilities [Show open] Brother Phillip Velasquez: Hello, I’m Brother Phillip Velazquez, and thank you for joining us again, on another episode of That’s in the Bible, where your questions are answered straight from this: the Holy Scriptures. If you remember on our last episode, we discussed the importance of the commandments of God in governing how the husband and wife treat each other for them to live a happy and peaceful life. The question we’ll be answering today is related to just that. [Video starts]  Question: Hi, my name is Rhonda Brown, and I’m from Longview, Texas. And I would like to know, what role does the man play in the family?  Rhonda Brown Longview, Texas [Video ends] Brother Philip: Thanks for that question, Rhonda. In our last episode, we were taught that God’s law should dictate how husband and wife treat each other. The same goes for what the roles are for husband and wife in their respective families.  Responsibilities of a Christian husband Brother Philip: So, according to the Bible, what is a primary role of the husband or father to his family? We can read the answer in Ephesians 4:28. These are the words of God through His Apostle Paul: He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.  [Ephesians 4:28 New International Version] Brother Philip: If he is well and able, he must work to provide for the needs of his family. Under normal circumstances, God intended that the husband or the father, being the head of the household, be the main provider or breadwinner in a family. But in rare incidences, it can be the mother if the father is no longer around.  Take note, the Bible also teaches that he must earn an honest living, meaning it mustn’t go against any law of the land, especially any law of our Almighty God.  Now, how dedicated should the head of the household be in providing for the needs of his family? Let’s get the answer from Proverbs 10:4. These are the words of God: Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth. [Proverbs 10:4 New International Version] Brother Philip: How dedicated must the head of the family or head of the household be in providing for the needs of his family? He must be diligent or hardworking. Under all circumstances, it is against God’s command for any man to be found lazy—or worse still—neglectful of his responsibilities. Much more so, if he already has a family that depends on him for support.  In the eyes of our Almighty God, how evil is it for the head of the household to neglect his obligation in providing for his family? Let’s get the answer from I Timothy 5:8. This is what we’re taught by Apostle Paul: But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. [I Timothy 5:8 New King James Version] Brother Philip: If the head of the household neglects his family, then he is worse than an unbeliever, according to what we read. In the sight of our Almighty God, he is not a true Christian because he has denied the faith. So you see, dear friends, the role of the head of the household is so important. And that’s why before one chooses to enter married life and begin a family, he has to be sure he is able to fulfill all of his responsibilities as set forth by our Almighty God.  The role of a Christian woman in marriage Brother Philip:  Now, since we’re on the topic, we might as well go into the role of the woman or the wife in the family. According to God’s design, what is the role of the wife? Let’s read the answer in Titus 2:4-5. This is what the Holy Scriptures teach all of us: Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children. The younger women must control themselves. They must be pure. They must take good care of their homes. They must be kind. They must follow the lead of their husbands. Then no one will be able to speak evil things against God’s word.  [Titus 2:4-5 New International Reader’s Version] Brother Philip: God expects wives or mothers to administer the home well. May no one make the mistake of diminishing the importance of this special role, since its successful implementation has far-reaching effects, not only in the home but also in our society as a whole.  And parents, especially the wife or mother, has the primary duty to attend to these concerns at home. What else is the vital role of the wife or mother to her family? Let’s get the answer from Proverbs 31: 27-29: She watches over her family and never wastes her time. Her children speak well of her. Her husband also praises her, saying, “There are many fine women, but you are better than all of them.” [Proverbs 31: 27-29 New Century Version] Brother Philip: The wife or mother supervises her family well. She makes sure that virtues are being developed in her children by giving them responsibilities to fulfill and rules to follow in the home. She is always aware of her children’s whereabouts and whom they are with. And if ever she so chooses, and the husband agrees, that she gets a job in order to help augment the family income, well, they should not in any way hinder her from fulfilling her primary task of looking after the welfare of her family at home.  What is strictly prohibited so that wives or mothers will be able to perform their roles well? Let’s read I Timothy 5: 13. This is what we are taught by the apostle Paul: And besides they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not.  [I Timothy 5:13 New King James Version] Brother Philip: Just as it is prohibited for the husband to neglect his duty to provide for the family, it is also prohibited for the wife to be lazy in administering the home. What else? The Bible says they should not be busybodies or gossips. Instead of focusing on the lives or homes of others, she first must focus on the condition of her own home.  But above all, what is the ultimate role of both the husband and the wife to their family? Let’s get the answer from Joshua  24:15: And if it seems evil to you to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.  [Joshua 24:15 New King James Version] Brother Philip: What is the ultimate role of both the husband and the wife to their family? To lead their entire family in serving our Almighty God; to bring up their children to be faithful and obedient servants of God. And the best way to instill these most admirable qualities is by parents being the best examples to their children in being true Christians by upholding God’s commands at all times in their lives.  Well, that’s all we have time for [in] this episode. We hope that you’ll tune in next time where we will be answering more of your questions from the Holy Scriptures. We encourage you to please write in with your questions. You can email them to this address.  [On-screen text graphics] answers@incmedia.org Brother Philip: Thanks for watching! I’m Brother Phillip Velasquez and we will see you next time. The post What Are Our Roles in Marriage? appeared first on incmedia.org.

A viewer asks “What role does the man play in the family?” What are the roles and responsibilities of a husband and wife in a Christian marriage?Show/Hide Transcript Husband and Wife Roles and Responsibilities [Show open] Brother Phillip Velasquez: Hello, I’m Brother <a href="https://twitter.com/PhilVelasquez77" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Phillip Velazquez</a>, and thank you for joining us again, on another episode of <a href="https://incmedia.org/thats-in-the-bible/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">That’s in the Bible</a>, where your questions are answered straight from this: the <a href="https://incmedia.org/our-beliefs/the-holy-scriptures/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Holy Scriptures</a>. If you remember on our last episode, we discussed the importance of the commandments of God in governing how the husband and wife treat each other for them to live a happy and peaceful life. The question we’ll be answering today is related to just that. [Video starts] Question: Hi, my name is Rhonda Brown, and I’m from Longview, Texas. And I would like to know, what role does the man play in the family?  Rhonda Brown Longview, Texas [Video ends] Brother Philip: Thanks for that question, Rhonda. In our <a href="https://incmedia.org/how-should-husbands-and-wives-treat-each-other/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">last episode</a>, we were taught that God’s law should dictate how husband and wife treat each other. The same goes for what the roles are for husband and wife in their respective families.  <h2>Responsibilities of a Christian husband</h2> Brother Philip: So, according to the Bible, what is a primary role of the husband or father to his family? We can read the answer in Ephesians 4:28. These are the words of God through His Apostle Paul: He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.  [Ephesians 4:28 New International Version] Brother Philip: If he is well and able, he must work to provide for the needs of his family. Under normal circumstances, God intended that the husband or the father, being the head of the household, be the main provider or breadwinner in a family. But in rare incidences, it can be the mother if the father is no longer around.  Take note, the Bible also teaches that he must earn an honest living, meaning it mustn’t go against any law of the land, especially any law of our Almighty God.  Now, how dedicated should the head of the household be in providing for the needs of his family? Let’s get the answer from Proverbs 10:4. These are the words of God: Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth. [Proverbs 10:4 New International Version] Brother Philip: How dedicated must the head of the family or head of the household be in providing for the needs of his family? He must be diligent or hardworking. Under all circumstances, it is against God’s command for any man to be found lazy—or worse still—neglectful of his responsibilities. Much more so, if he already has a family that depends on him for support.  In the eyes of our Almighty God, how evil is it for the head of the household to neglect his obligation in providing for his family? Let’s get the answer from I Timothy 5:8. This is what we’re taught by Apostle Paul: But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. [I Timothy 5:8 New King James Version] Brother Philip: If the head of the household neglects his family, then he is worse than an unbeliever, according to what we read. In the sight of our <a href="https://incmedia.org/our-beliefs/one-god-the-father/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Almighty God</a>, he is not a true Christian because he has denied the faith. So you see, dear friends, the role of the head of the household is so important. And that’s why before one chooses to enter married life and begin a family, he has to be sure he is able to fulfill all of his responsibilities as set forth by our Almighty God.  <h2>The role of a Christian woman in marriage</h2> Brother Philip:  Now, since we’re on the topic, we might as well go into the role of the woman or the wife in the family. According to God’s design, what is the role of the wife? Let’s read the answer in Titus 2:4-5. This is what the Holy Scriptures teach all of us: Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children. The younger women must control themselves. They must be pure. They must take good care of their homes. They must be kind. They must follow the lead of their husbands. Then no one will be able to speak evil things against God’s word.  [Titus 2:4-5 New International Reader’s Version] Brother Philip: God expects wives or mothers to administer the home well. May no one make the mistake of diminishing the importance of this special role, since its successful implementation has far-reaching effects, not only in the home but also in our society as a whole.  And parents, especially the wife or mother, has the primary duty to attend to these concerns at home. What else is the vital role of the wife or mother to her family? Let’s get the answer from Proverbs 31: 27-29: She watches over her family and never wastes her time. Her children speak well of her. Her husband also praises her, saying, “There are many fine women, but you are better than all of them.” [Proverbs 31: 27-29 New Century Version] Brother Philip: The wife or mother supervises her family well. She makes sure that <a href="https://incmedia.org/im-turning-into-my-mom-and-thats-a-good-thing/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">virtues are being developed in her children</a> by giving them responsibilities to fulfill and rules to follow in the home. She is always aware of her children’s whereabouts and whom they are with. And if ever she so chooses, and the husband agrees, that she gets a job in order to help augment the family income, well, they should not in any way hinder her from fulfilling her primary task of looking after the welfare of her family at home.  What is strictly prohibited so that wives or mothers will be able to perform their roles well? Let’s read I Timothy 5: 13. This is what we are taught by the apostle Paul: And besides they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not.  [I Timothy 5:13 New King James Version] Brother Philip: Just as it is prohibited for the husband to neglect his duty to provide for the family, it is also prohibited for the wife to be lazy in administering the home. What else? The Bible says they should not be busybodies or gossips. Instead of focusing on the lives or homes of others, she first must focus on the condition of her own home.  But above all, what is the ultimate role of both the husband and the wife to their family? Let’s get the answer from Joshua  24:15: And if it seems evil to you to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.  [Joshua 24:15 New King James Version] Brother Philip: What is the ultimate role of both the husband and the wife to their family? To lead their entire family in serving our Almighty God; to bring up their children to be faithful and obedient servants of God. And the best way to instill these most admirable qualities is by parents being the best examples to their children in being true Christians by upholding God’s commands at all times in their lives.  Well, that’s all we have time for [in] this episode. We hope that you’ll tune in next time where we will be answering more of your questions from the Holy Scriptures. We encourage you to please write in with your questions. You can email them to this address.  [On-screen text graphics] <a href="mailto:answers@incmedia.org">answers@incmedia.org</a> Brother Philip: Thanks for watching! I’m Brother Phillip Velasquez and we will see you next time. The post <a href="https://incmedia.org/what-are-our-roles-in-marriage/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">What Are Our Roles in Marriage?</a> appeared first on <a href="https://incmedia.org" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">incmedia.org</a>.

What Are Our Roles in Marriage?

I love this podcast because it talks about real life scenarios that Church members experience! It really makes me feel less alone and it strengthens my faith in God! Love love love ❤️

The best podcast for soul searching!

I enjoy the topics discussed. I’m religious so finding content like this is hard to find. The speakers are very uplifting and give positive energy. Good listen during my drives, looking forward to more content.

Good content

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