I promise that website isn't porn, but if it was that'd be cool too. Our guest Michael joins us to explore just why Archie brings a gun to school, and if it's really fair to punch a dude in the face if you're in a street brawl. 

I promise that website isn't porn, but if it was that'd be cool too. Our guest Michael joins us to explore just why Archie brings a gun to school, and if it's really fair to punch a dude in the face if you're in a street brawl.

RedStateMeat Dot Com (Feat Michael)

My salad days, / When I was green in judgment, cold in blood/To say as I said then!/ For hark, a podcast, drenched in smut and crime!/ Tales of Loss and Love we seek to find/ Okay I'm done writing in iambic pentameter, this is a fun one. Enjoy loves!

My salad days, / When I was green in judgment, cold in blood/To say as I said then!/ For hark, a podcast, drenched in smut and crime!/ Tales of Loss and Love we seek to find/ Okay I'm done writing in iambic pentameter, this is a fun one. Enjoy loves!

Salad Days

Joined by our special guest @AdventureAnalisa, we dive into the least appropriately named episode of Riverdale yet. I mean, what even IS a Nighthawk?? I still don't know! Anyway, listen to us ramble about it for an hour and a half ya filthy animals (JK we love you, mwah

Joined by our special guest @AdventureAnalisa, we dive into the least appropriately named episode of Riverdale yet. I mean, what even IS a Nighthawk?? I still don't know! Anyway, listen to us ramble about it for an hour and a half ya filthy animals (JK we love you, mwah

Nighthawks (Gretchen Grunch)- Feat. AdventureAnalisa

Season 2 is here! This season of Riverdale is somehow already outdoing the insanity of the first, and something tells me it's only going to get more schlock-y. In this episode we learn the fate of Fred Andrews after the tragic shooting at Pop's diner, and learn that Archie would wear a kilt at his wedding. Glad to be back folx.

Season 2 is here! This season of Riverdale is somehow already outdoing the insanity of the first, and something tells me it's only going to get more schlock-y. In this episode we learn the fate of Fred Andrews after the tragic shooting at Pop's diner, and learn that Archie would wear a kilt at his wedding. Glad to be back folx.

A Kiss Before Dying 

13 episodes. 13 disciples. In this episode, Brian and I are betrayed, flayed, and dismayed at the literal last thing to happen in Riverdale Season 1. Joined by @almondarcade on Twitter dot com, we recap and discuss our final moments of joy before the season ends.

13 episodes. 13 disciples. In this episode, Brian and I are betrayed, flayed, and dismayed at the literal last thing to happen in Riverdale Season 1. Joined by @almondarcade on Twitter dot com, we recap and discuss our final moments of joy before the season ends.

The Sweet Hereafter (Season Finale)

Wow. I didn't expect things to happen so quickly. Yet here we are, surrounded by the dust of what came before, and by that I mean almost an entire season of Riverdale. Tune in next week for the exciting conclusion, AND our Logo artist as the guest!!! 

Wow. I didn't expect things to happen so quickly. Yet here we are, surrounded by the dust of what came before, and by that I mean almost an entire season of Riverdale. Tune in next week for the exciting conclusion, AND our Logo artist as the guest!!!

Anatomy of a Murder!!!

Episode 11. 1 hour and 11 minutes. Coincidence? Entirely. This episode has the first good song that Archie plays!! Also Jughead has his hopes and dreams dashed. Normal stuff, really

Episode 11. 1 hour and 11 minutes. Coincidence? Entirely. This episode has the first good song that Archie plays!! Also Jughead has his hopes and dreams dashed. Normal stuff, really

To Riverdale And Back Again

Sooooo I maybe sorta lost the recording of the first time we did this episode... But it's okay! We re-recorded it with a very special guest and are now giving you 2 hours of content for your listening pleasure. Enjoy our recap of the episode that started this very podcast!

Sooooo I maybe sorta lost the recording of the first time we did this episode... But it's okay! We re-recorded it with a very special guest and are now giving you 2 hours of content for your listening pleasure. Enjoy our recap of the episode that started this very podcast!

The Lost Episode

Watching this was blue, like I've never knownAll the scenes were dark grey, all aloneRecapping it was like trying to know something that I hadn't metBut Archie's suit was Red (Re-e-e-ed, Re-e-e-ed)This was a Taylor Swift joke for Brian and Brian alone. Anyway, enjoy the episode!

Watching this was blue, like I've never knownAll the scenes were dark grey, all aloneRecapping it was like trying to know something that I hadn't metBut Archie's suit was Red (Re-e-e-ed, Re-e-e-ed)This was a Taylor Swift joke for Brian and Brian alone. Anyway, enjoy the episode!

La Grande Illusion

Jughead's dad is a what now??? On this episode, Jughead's family secrets are aired for the world to see, and we finally get a good look at the kind of dad who would go by "FP" to his own son.

Jughead's dad is a what now??? On this episode, Jughead's family secrets are aired for the world to see, and we finally get a good look at the kind of dad who would go by "FP" to his own son.

The Outsiders

The #1 Unofficial Riverdale Recap Podcast for people who don't watch Riverdale.

Emphasis on the "heart," this one's got a few decently sad scenes. It also has some of the worst alcoholic set design and acting I've ever seen, so it's a bit of a wash.

Emphasis on the "heart," this one's got a few decently sad scenes. It also has some of the worst alcoholic set design and acting I've ever seen, so it's a bit of a wash.

Heart of Darkness

This week, we finally see Archie perform an entire song. and although our standards could not be lower, we are somehow disappointed

This week, we finally see Archie perform an entire song. and although our standards could not be lower, we are somehow disappointed

Faster Pussycats! Kill! Kill!

Welcome to Thornhill manor, the creepiest house in all of Riverdale! Zombies, Archie's Abs, Drama- this episode has it all! Join Bella and Brian for another dive into the world of Riverdale

Welcome to Thornhill manor, the creepiest house in all of Riverdale! Zombies, Archie's Abs, Drama- this episode has it all! Join Bella and Brian for another dive into the world of Riverdale

CH 5: Heart Of Darkness

A very special feature length episode starring our first guest, @Corporate__Cute on instagram, Andrew S!Join us this week as we further observe Betty's descent into madness.

A very special feature length episode starring our first guest, @Corporate__Cute on instagram, Andrew S!Join us this week as we further observe Betty's descent into madness.

CH 4: The Last Picture Show

Quite frankly the wildest episode yet. Come find out what a "sticky maple" means in Riverdale, and why it's got the gals performing evil deeds

Quite frankly the wildest episode yet. Come find out what a "sticky maple" means in Riverdale, and why it's got the gals performing evil deeds

CH 3: Body Double

This week Bella and Brian dive further into the mystery of whatever the hell is going on with Archie Andrews and his growing harem of classmates. (We apologize for the audio issues in the first 10 minutes or so, our producer/recording robot Craig goofed on us)

This week Bella and Brian dive further into the mystery of whatever the hell is going on with Archie Andrews and his growing harem of classmates. (We apologize for the audio issues in the first 10 minutes or so, our producer/recording robot Craig goofed on us)

CH 2: Touch Of Evil

The very first episode of the rest of our lives- I mean, Jughead's Lament. We introduce ourselves to the town of Riverdale, find out why Betty can't get out of her own way, and fall in love with Archie's Dad.   Credits: "Professor Umlaut" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

The very first episode of the rest of our lives- I mean, Jughead's Lament. We introduce ourselves to the town of Riverdale, find out why Betty can't get out of her own way, and fall in love with Archie's Dad. Credits: "Professor Umlaut" Kevin MacLeod (<a href="http://incompetech.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">incompetech.com</a>)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License<a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/</a>

CH 1: The River's Edge

Jughead's Lament

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