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(24)
Comedy

You Can't Win

Updated 16 days ago

Comedy
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We're Tom and Donald. We are two trolls that are trying to make sense of the world through conversations about the traps and scams that surround us.

Read more

We're Tom and Donald. We are two trolls that are trying to make sense of the world through conversations about the traps and scams that surround us.

iTunes Ratings

24 Ratings
Average Ratings
23
1
0
0
0

It’s good

By The podcast bastard - May 21 2019
Read more
Hard to explain why I like this podcast but I do

An Intellectual, a humorist, and their lively debate

By Tetradukan - Apr 21 2019
Read more
One could not meet a finer pair. What luck to stumble onto this podcast!

iTunes Ratings

24 Ratings
Average Ratings
23
1
0
0
0

It’s good

By The podcast bastard - May 21 2019
Read more
Hard to explain why I like this podcast but I do

An Intellectual, a humorist, and their lively debate

By Tetradukan - Apr 21 2019
Read more
One could not meet a finer pair. What luck to stumble onto this podcast!
Cover image of You Can't Win

You Can't Win

Latest release on Mar 30, 2020

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We're Tom and Donald. We are two trolls that are trying to make sense of the world through conversations about the traps and scams that surround us.

Episode 058 - Lo Fi Quarantine Chaos ft. John V and Leo

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Tom and Don are joined by our friends John V and Leo for a gritty apocalyptic version of the pod. We discuss surviving corona and our health woes and the music that will see us through. Everything from Jackie Chan to our Trumpbux plans.  The sound quality is a bit uneven but the joke quality is high. Keep on the lookout for John V and Leo's pod in the future, possibly titled the Pimp Chronicles.

Intro music by auntie004. Outro music is Jackie Chan - Love Me.

Mar 30 2020

1hr 31mins

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Episode 057 - Guns, Grifters and Desperate People ft. "Ed Buck"

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Our guest "Ed Buck" gives us his thoughts on right-wing talk radio. Often imagined as a solid block of outrageous political content, most talk radio hosts free associate to fill the time. The result is a strange experience. The crew also answers some questions about Nick Land and Deleuze to the tragedy of the new social-democracy.

Mentioned: Based Deleuze by Justin Murphy; Cyclonopedia by Reza Negarestani; It's Me Eddie by Eduard Limonov.

Intro music by auntie004. Outro: Tomahawk - God Hates a Coward.

Mar 23 2020

1hr 26mins

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Episode 056 - Stay Inside Roneheads

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When the world gets sick, sickos turn pro. No helpful medical advice but lots of confirmation of prior beliefs about outside. Tom and Don chat for most of the show about our new reality.

Intro music by auntie004. Outro: Chief Keef - Stay Inside.

Mar 16 2020

1hr 20mins

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Episode 055 - Quit Your Job, Study Mao, Say the R Word

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We get to a good number of questions in this round up, from controversial language and conversion stories to renegade priests and the many crimes of Nikita Khrushchev. We also talk mental health, Islamic aliens,  coronavirus conspiracies and Don's column in Dabiq.

Intro music by auntie004. Outro song is Fredo Santana - Been Savage.

Mar 09 2020

1hr 21mins

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Episode 054 - Afghanistan and the Taliban ft. Ibrahim

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Tom and Don are joined by Ibrahim for a wide-ranging discussion of recent conflicts in Afghanistan. We talk about the cohesion and discipline of the Taliban, prospects for peace, the history of foreign intervention and resistance, the interests of regional and global powers and some of the other local forces involved.

Ibrahim's Twitter: @SyedIbrahim1137

Mentioned: The Taliban: War, Religion and the New Order in Afghanistan by Peter Marsden, Afghanistan: The Bear Trap: The Defeat of a Superpower by Mohammad Yousaf, https://www.afghanistan-analysts.org/, Borhan Osman, Empires of Mud by Antonio Giustozzi, The Taliban at War by Antonio Giustozzi, Obaid Ali, Documenting Afghanistan, Mohammed Harun Arsalai, @AfgEye, Revolution Unending by Gilles Dorronsoro, Killing the Cranes: A Reporter's Journey Through Three Decades of War in Afghanistan by Edward Girardet

Intro music by auntie004.

Outro music is Kino - Gruppa Krovi.

Mar 02 2020

1hr 35mins

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Episode 053 - Whenever I Get Dressed Up ft. Leo

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Leo joins Tom and Don to talk about fashion and dressing well. What's with all these terrible clothes out there? How do we push beyond glued-together polyester? The crew then answers a number of your questions within Solomon-like judgment.

Intro music is by auntie004. Outro music is Smog - Ex-Con.

Books mentioned: 8 Steps to a Pain-Free Back, Dressing the Man by Alan Flusser, The Catholic Priesthood: Biblical Foundations by Fr. Thomas J. Lane

Feb 24 2020

1hr 26mins

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Episode 052 - Why Contain It? Wuhan Corona Virus Deep Dive ft. Mike, Jerel and John

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Tom and Don are joined by Mike, John and Jerel for a discussion of the Wuhan coronavirus. What's the science on the virus? Are we all going to die? How racist is it to be afraid? We also answer a few questions about guns control and Settlers.

Mike's references:

IMPERIAL COLLEGE MODELLING:

Report 2: Estimating the potential total number of novel Coronavirus cases in Wuhan City, China https://www.imperial.ac.uk/media/imperial-college/medicine/sph/ide/gida-fellowships/2019-nCoV-outbreak-report-22-01-2020---Mandarin.pdf

Report 3: Transmissibility of 2019-nCoV https://fpmag.net/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Imperial-2019-nCoV-transmissibility.pdf

LEUNG GROUP UNIVERSITY OF HK MODELLING:

Nowcasting and forecasting the potential domestic and international spread of the 2019-nCoV outbreak originating in Wuhan, China: a modelling study https://sci-hub.tw/10.1016/S0140-6736(20)30260-9

ZHANG GROUP U MICHIGAN ANN ARBOR REPORT:

Protein structure and sequence re-analysis of 2019-nCoV genome does not indicate snakes as its intermediate host or the unique similarity between its spike protein insertions and HIV-1 dx.doi.org/10.1101/2020.02.04.933135

DISAPPEARED REPORT ON WUHAN CDC LAB:

The possible origins of 2019-nCoV coronavirus https://www.docdroid.net/EZUN6cB/originsof2019-ncov-xiaob-res.pdf

Intro music by auntie004.

Outro: Triple-Q - Deus Ex Gon' Give It to Ya.

Feb 17 2020

1hr 26mins

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Episode 051 - Christian Democracy & Jacques Maritain

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Don introduces Tom to "Christianity and Democracy" by Jacques Maritain which he read recently. Christian Democracy evolved into the official ideology of much of the conservative movement, although Don suggests this is a legacy that should be contested. We also discuss Slavery and Islam by Jonathan A.C. Brown and The Reconstruction of Religious Thought in Islam by Alamma Iqbal.

Intro music by auntie004. Outro: Lightnin' Hopkins - It's a Sin to be Rich, It's a Low-Down Shame to be Poor

Feb 10 2020

1hr 13mins

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Episode 050 - Economics, Ideology and Bernie ft. Alex

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Our friend Alex returns to have a bit of a back and forth with Don about economics and ideology. Then the whole crew talks hopes for Bernie versus our natural cynicism and gets into some questions from the audience. 

Alex is @anti_minotaur on Twitter. Intro music by auntie004.  Outro music is Daihakken - The Extremist.

Feb 03 2020

1hr 18mins

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Episode 049 - Surviving Chlorine Gas for Fun and Profit

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Tom and Don discuss the new Call of Duty: Modern Warfare including the ripped-from-the-headlines Syria-esque content that gets a bit crazy. From there we get into a discussion of the hunger for political relevance and responsibility in video games. We also talk Rogan/Sanders, religious groups and the left, Twitter beefs and how to stop the rise of Zoroastrianism. #MajoosiMenace

Intro music by auntie004.

Outro music is Donkey Kong Country 2 - Forest Interlude.

Jan 27 2020

1hr 2mins

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Episode 048 - Future Leaders of the North American Islamo-Catholic Emirate Q&A

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The crew discuss which of us would win in a fight, Tom's take on LGBT identities, our Maoist days and the online left, how to deal with failure, meeting celebrities and the prospect of Twitch streaming. We even get into our plans for an Islamo-Catholic North America that unites the world's two great religions.

Intro music is by auntie004. Outro: Vulfpeck - Birds of a Feather, We Rock Together (ft. Antwaun Stanley).

Jan 20 2020

1hr 7mins

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Episode 047 - Three Persons Who Love Irony ft. Cam

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Tom and Don are joined by their friend Cam ( @BALTHASARLIKER on Twitter) to talk irony and prayer. Cam helps explain the Christian Trinitarian God to Tom, as far as such things can be explained. Tom responds from his own Muslim perspective and we even get into a few questions.

Intro music by auntie004. Outro music is Merle Haggard's What a Friend We Have in Jesus.

Jan 13 2020

1hr 12mins

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Episode 046 - No Plane Lessons featuring AgileTablet and Leo

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Tom and Don are joined by Agile Tablet to chat about TV and dinner. Then Leo jumps in to discuss mattresses and Iran and the Forever War. We finish off with a few audience questions. Audio quality is uneven because of some recording issues but a lot of good content.

Intro music by auntie004. Outro music is the Diplomats freestyle from BET that Leo mentions.

Jan 06 2020

1hr 30mins

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Episode 045 - These Guys are Sickos

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With Tom's back in pain and Don suffering through a virus of some sort, we fight heroically to deliver a year-end episode. Will Don finally learn to drive with Aristotle's help? Will Tom get through more of his pomo lit? And other goals if we survive the week.   

Intro music by auntie004. Outro song is Renée Martel - Entre tes bras.

Dec 30 2019

1hr

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Episode 044 - Protests in the Middle East ft. Séamus Malekafzali

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Tom and Don are joined by the journalist Séamus Malekafzali to discuss protests across the Middle East. We start with Lebanon, move on to Iraq and conclude with Iran. How are the protests undermining tenuous political settlements in each country? How aggressive have government forces been in response? Is it going to get worse before it gets better? All this plus a few fun questions at the end.

Séamus's Twitter is @Seamus_Malek and his website is https://www.seamus-malekafzali.com/.

Intro music by auntie004. Outro: Ali Molaei - Shabe Toolani.

Dec 23 2019

1hr 10mins

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Episode 043 - Canned ft. AgileTablet

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Tom and Don are joined by AgileTablet to quickly discuss the firing of Jeremy Corbyn and then jump into a wide-ranging discussion of being canned from a bunch of our jobs. If that weren't enough, we get a fully stocked Agile's Cooking Corner with a lot of your cooking questions answered. 

Intro music by auntie004. Outro is Funk Como le Gusta - 16 Toneladas.

Dec 16 2019

1hr 36mins

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Episode 042 - Pizzagate is Real V: Satanism and The Temple of Set ft. Mike and Khalid

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The crew are joined by Mike and Khalid to talk the Temple of Set and the strange world of Satanism. Silly subculture? Evil parties? CIA tomfoolery? What's the deal? And can we join?

Intro music by auntie004. Outro: Ghost - Majesty.

Dec 09 2019

1hr 13mins

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Episode 041 - You Got Served ft. Harvey aka 6footinvisible

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Tom and Don have their friend Harvey @6footinvisible on to regale us with stories about process serving. Celebrity cretins like Steve Bannon and Bill Clinton, a lot of poor schmucks, costumes and props - we've got it all.

Intro music by auntie004. Outro music is Amber London - Servin' Fiendz 1994.

Dec 02 2019

1hr 20mins

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Episode 040 - Telling Jokes in the Age of Mods

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Tom and Don chat about how our approaches to writing and fiction have changed over time. Is posting at all like writing? Is there much value in reading 100,000s of posts? If we have reached our limit on such things, how can we shift to a future where we take longer form writing more seriously?

Intro music by auntie004. Outro: Black Smurf - Execution 1999.

Nov 25 2019

1hr 6mins

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Episode 039 - Big Daddy #whocare ft. Big Dave

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Tom and Don are joined by our friend Big Dave, who offers his hard-earned wisdom about fatherhood. Why aren't men better prepared to be fathers and what problems do they run into? The crew talks about how life changes once kids are around, from the perspectives of a family man, a long-term relationship and a NEET. 

Intro music by auntie004. Outro: Juice WRLD - Bandit ft. NBA Youngboy.

Nov 18 2019

1hr 13mins

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iTunes Ratings

24 Ratings
Average Ratings
23
1
0
0
0

It’s good

By The podcast bastard - May 21 2019
Read more
Hard to explain why I like this podcast but I do

An Intellectual, a humorist, and their lively debate

By Tetradukan - Apr 21 2019
Read more
One could not meet a finer pair. What luck to stumble onto this podcast!