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Making Polyamory Work

Grounded in reality and untamed honesty, Libby Sinback tackles the hard questions about how to create and maintain authentic, loving and healthy nonmonogamous relationships.

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How to Not Take Responsibility for Other People's Emotions

In this episode, Libby shares concrete steps for creating a healthy emotional boundary between you and your partner, so that you don't react to, take on, or take responsibility for your partner's difficult feelings.--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/makingpolywork/message

15mins

28 Nov 2019

Rank #1

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Attachment Styles and You

Libby explains the theory of attachment styles and what they might mean for your relationships. (All of this stuff is Googleable, y'all, if you want to know more. )------------------------------------------------Find Libby on the Web: https://libbysinback.comApply for your free intro session at http://talktolibby.com--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/makingpolywork/message

23mins

28 Jan 2020

Rank #2

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Trying Something New

When you're trying to make a change, do something different, learn a new skill, what can help set you up for success? My answer? The right mindset can help a lot. Malcolm Gladwell's book Outliers: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3228917-outliers On Deliberate Practice: https://lifehacker.com/what-mozart-and-kobe-bryant-can-teach-us-about-delibera-1442488267 To sign up for a free coaching session in December: https://calendly.com/libbysinback/one-conversation--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/makingpolywork/message

16mins

3 Dec 2019

Rank #3

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Beyond the 5 Love Languages

In this episode, Libby talks about love languages and how understanding your love language and the love languages of those that you love can transform your relationships for the better and help everyone love and appreciate each other more fully. ---------------------------- Mapping Your Love Workshop in DC: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/mapping-your-love-tickets-77746210007 Winter Poly Wonderland: https://cfnc.us/winterpoly/ Poly Living: https://www.lovingmorenonprofit.org/conferences/polyliving/philadelphia/ Love Languages Graphic: https://theladiescoach.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/How-to-speak-your-partners-Love-Language.png Love Languages Quiz: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/ ---------------------------- Find Libby on the Web: https://libbysinback.com Sign up for coaching at http://talktolibby.com--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/makingpolywork/message

27mins

19 Dec 2019

Rank #4

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The Two Magic Relationship Ratios

Libby talks about the two magic relationship ratios uncovered by scientific research conducted by the Gottman Institute and some implications for polyamorous relationships. -------------------------------- The Magic Conflict Ratio: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-magic-relationship-ratio-according-science/ About the 20:1 Ratio: https://psyedges.wordpress.com/2014/06/22/51-2/ -------------------------------- Find Libby on the Web: https://libbysinback.com Sign up for coaching at http://talktolibby.com--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/makingpolywork/message

15mins

26 Dec 2019

Rank #5

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When Your Meta Don't Wanna

In this episode Libby talks about how to navigate things when metamours don't want to be friends. -------------------------------------- EVENTS WHERE LIBBY IS PRESENTING Atlanta Poly in Atlanta, February 29, 2020 Southwest Love Fest in Tucson, April 3-5, 2020 RelateCon in Boise, April 24-26, 2020 ----------------------------------- Find Libby on the Web: https://libbysinback.com Sign up for coaching at http://talktolibby.com--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/makingpolywork/message

52mins

3 Mar 2020

Rank #6

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Compersion Isn't Mandatory

In this episode, Libby talks about compersion, what it is, where it comes from, and makes the case that we don't have to feel it to be good polyamorous people, and what to do when we don't. ---------------------- Mapping Your Love Workshop in DC: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/mapping-your-love-tickets-77746210007 Winter Poly Wonderland: https://cfnc.us/winterpoly/ Poly Living: https://www.lovingmorenonprofit.org/conferences/polyliving/philadelphia/ More about the Karista Commune: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kerista Mudita: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mudita Probably Poly Episode on Jealousy: https://soundcloud.com/probably-poly/jealousy-live-at-apw --------------------- Libby's new website: https://libbysinback.com Sign up for coaching at http://talktolibby.com--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/makingpolywork/message

29mins

17 Dec 2019

Rank #7

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8 Sentences for Better Understanding

Sometimes you just need to complain and get something off your chest. Here's a tip on how to do that in a way that might be easier for others to hear and help make things better.--------------------------------------Show LinksFeedback Wheel Handout: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1W0rbu1nWTYOdQNl4gvdgPWTuLBWKCjcOol_8AUoTZi0/edit"The Story I'm Making Up": https://www.businessinsider.com/brene-browns-biggest-life-hack-is-a-simple-phrase-2015-8Schedule a Free Coaching Session: http://talktolibby.com/--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/makingpolywork/message

13mins

12 Dec 2019

Rank #8

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Ghosting

In this episode, Libby talks about ghosting, what it is, why it sucks, when it's justified, and how to cope. Libby also offers a kinder alternative to ghosting. --------------------------------- SHOW LINKS Comic on Ghosting by Hell is Other Women: https://www.facebook.com/hellisotherwomen/posts/557199481702112 ---------------------------------- EVENTS WHERE LIBBY IS PRESENTING PolyLiving in Philadelphia, February 7-9, 2020 Winter Poly Wonderland in West Virginia, February 13-16, 2020 Atlanta Poly in Atlanta, February 29, 2020 Southwest Love Fest in Tucson, April 3-5, 2020 RelateCon in Boise, April 24-26, 2020 ----------------------------------- Find Libby on the Web: https://libbysinback.com Sign up for coaching at http://talktolibby.com --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/makingpolywork/message

37mins

7 Jan 2020

Rank #9

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More Compassion, More Love

Holiday bullsh*t getting you down? Libby makes the case for how a little self-compassion can go a long way.-------------------------------Show LinksMapping Your Love Workshop in DC: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/mapping-your-love-tickets-77746210007Winter Poly Wonderland: https://cfnc.us/winterpoly/Poly Living: https://www.lovingmorenonprofit.org/conferences/polyliving/philadelphia/The Gottman Institute on Contempt: https://www.gottman.com/blog/this-one-thing-is-the-biggest-predictor-of-divorce/The Harvard Business Review on Self-Compassion: https://hbr.org/2018/09/give-yourself-a-break-the-power-of-self-compassionAbout the Carleton University Study on Self-Compassion and Procrastination: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dont-delay/200903/self-forgiveness-reduces-procrastinationKristin Neff's Website on Self-Compassion: https://self-compassion.org/----------------------------Find Libby on the Web: https://libbysinback.comSign up for coaching at http://talktolibby.com--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/makingpolywork/message

17mins

24 Dec 2019

Rank #10

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How Could You Think That of Me?

Libby talks about what to do when we don't feel seen by the people we love. ------------------------ SHOW LINKS Feeling Understood — Even More Important Than Feeling Loved? https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201706/feeling-understood-even-more-important-feeling-loved Neural Bases of Being Understood and not Understood: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4249470/ On Feeling Understood and Feeling Well: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2652476/ Loneliness: a disease? https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3890922/ Brené Brown and True Belonging: https://ideas.ted.com/finding-our-way-to-true-belonging/ ------------------------ Find Libby on the Web: https://libbysinback.com Apply for your free intro session at http://talktolibby.com--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/makingpolywork/message

29mins

21 Jan 2020

Rank #11

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Stand Up and Rock the Boat

Let's talk about why it's so important to be willing to put things on the line in your relationships, to stand up for what you want, and confront issues - before they get too big to deal with. -------------------------- Show Links: Brené Brown's TED Talk on Vulnerability: https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_the_power_of_vulnerability Daring Greatly: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1592408419 Domestic Violence Hotline and Website: https://www.thehotline.org/help/ Solvable vs. Perpetual Problems: https://www.gottman.com/blog/managing-conflict-solvable-vs-perpetual-problems/ ------------------------- If you'd like to ask a question for the show, feel free to e-mail at libby@libbysinback.com or leave a voicemail at the link below. To book a free introductory coaching session, visit http://www.talktolibby.com --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/makingpolywork/message

30mins

10 Dec 2019

Rank #12

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When Should I Tell People?

Libby talks about when you should tell potential partners that you're polyamorous or nonmonogamous. ------------------------------------------------- EVENTS WHERE LIBBY IS PRESENTING PolyLiving in Philadelphia, February 7-9, 2020 Winter Poly Wonderland in West Virginia, February 13-16, 2020 Atlanta Poly in Atlanta, February 29, 2020 Southwest Love Fest in Tucson, April 3-5, 2020 RelateCon in Boise, April 24-26, 2020 ----------------------------------- Find Libby on the Web: https://libbysinback.com Sign up for coaching at http://talktolibby.com--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/makingpolywork/message

22mins

14 Jan 2020

Rank #13

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Couple Privilege and Power

Libby answers a listener question about navigating sharing a home and sharing that home with other partners. --------------------------- SHOW LINKS Couple Privilege: having it doesn't necessarily make you an asshole (but it might) by Amy Gahran 5 Reasons Couple Privilege Doesn't Exist by Lola Phoenix 'why do couples stop having sex?' is the wrong question by Emily Nagoski Navigating Difficult Conversations ----------------------------- EVENTS WHERE LIBBY IS PRESENTING PolyLiving in Philadelphia, February 7-9, 2020 Winter Poly Wonderland in West Virginia, February 13-16, 2020 Atlanta Poly in Atlanta, February 29, 2020 Southwest Love Fest in Tucson, April 3-5, 2020 RelateCon in Boise, April 24-26, 2020 ----------------------------------- Find Libby on the Web: https://libbysinback.com Sign up for coaching at http://talktolibby.com--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/makingpolywork/message

32mins

6 Feb 2020

Rank #14

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The Practice of Gentleness

Using a real, raw story from her own life, Libby talks about the day-to-day, minute-to-minute practice of gentleness in relationships. ----------------------------- Show Links Harvey: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0042546/ My favorite article about Fred Rogers: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/19/magazine/mr-rogers.html ----------------------------- Find Libby on the Web: https://libbysinback.com Sign up for coaching at http://talktolibby.com--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/makingpolywork/message

22mins

31 Dec 2019

Rank #15

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Look Where You're Going

In this episode, Libby talks about keeping your attention and energy toward what's really important. ------------------------------------- SHOW LINKS Kimchi Cuddles The comic I referenced Download the Relationship Vision Worksheet ------------------------------------ EVENTS WHERE LIBBY IS PRESENTING Atlanta Poly in Atlanta, February 29, 2020 Southwest Love Fest in Tucson, April 3-5, 2020 RelateCon in Boise, April 24-26, 2020 ----------------------------------- Find Libby on the Web: https://libbysinback.com Sign up for coaching at http://talktolibby.com--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/makingpolywork/message

22mins

6 Mar 2020

Rank #16

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No Advice, Please

Learning to hold space for people you love is an essential relationship skill. In this episode, Libby breaks down what holding space is, why it's important, and how to practice it. ------------------------------- SHOW LINKS What it Means to Hold Space for Someone by Heather Plett 11 Ways to Hold Space for Someone by Reaca Pearl -------------------------------------- EVENTS WHERE LIBBY IS PRESENTING Atlanta Poly in Atlanta, February 29, 2020 Southwest Love Fest in Tucson, April 3-5, 2020 RelateCon in Boise, April 24-26, 2020 ----------------------------------- Find Libby on the Web: https://libbysinback.com Sign up for coaching at http://talktolibby.com--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/makingpolywork/message

22mins

27 Feb 2020

Rank #17

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Taming your Whoosh

The most essential skill to having healthier relationships. -------------------------------------- EVENTS WHERE LIBBY IS PRESENTING Atlanta Poly in Atlanta, February 29, 2020 Southwest Love Fest in Tucson, April 3-5, 2020 RelateCon in Boise, April 24-26, 2020 ----------------------------------- Find Libby on the Web: https://libbysinback.com Sign up for coaching at http://talktolibby.com--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/makingpolywork/message

36mins

18 Feb 2020

Rank #18

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The Art of Time Outs

Taking a time out is so important when things get heated or uncomfortable. However, there are more useful and less useful ways to take a time out. In this episode, Libby lays out how to take a time out in a way that enhances, rather than disrupts, connection. -------------------------------------- Black Poly Pride: June 4-7, 2020 in Washington, DC Terry Real's 10 Commandments of a Time Out -------------------------------------- EVENTS WHERE LIBBY IS PRESENTING Atlanta Poly in Atlanta, February 29, 2020 Southwest Love Fest in Tucson, April 3-5, 2020 RelateCon in Boise, April 24-26, 2020 ----------------------------------- Find Libby on the Web: https://libbysinback.com Sign up for coaching at http://talktolibby.com--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/makingpolywork/message

24mins

20 Feb 2020

Rank #19

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Listen Up

Learning how to listen better is so important to being a great partner, friend, parent, child, coworker, etc. In this episode, Libby offers some advanced tips on how to be an awesome listener.Show notes:How Curiosity Makes You a Better Partner: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_curious_people_have_better_relationships------------------------------------To contact Libby, email her at libby@libbysinback.com or find her on Facebook at https://facebook.com/libbysinback. If you'd like to set up a free coaching call, visit http://www.talktolibby.com--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/makingpolywork/message

15mins

5 Dec 2019

Rank #20