Coffee and Consent

This week, we are very excited to bring you a special episode featuring Nicki's husband James! James tells us of his experience during Nicki's philosophical evolution (which, by association, resulted in his own). James also shares his fears and advice for men whose partners are pursuing a birth outside the system. James grew up knowing almost nothing about reproduction and birth and is now an enthusiastic advocate for women knowing about their bodies and taking responsibility for their births. We hope you find this episode inspiring and helpful and we hope it sparks some meaningful discussions with your spouses, families, and communities.  As always, we would so appreciate you leaving a rating and review on Apple podcasts. James French - Instagram

This episode is one for the books. We touch on so many different topics that are all intertwined and interconnected in a culture that does not value babies as whole, thinking, feeling, sentient human beings. Some of the sides of this issue discussed in this episode include industrialized maternity care, ultrasound, contraception, abortion, surrogacy, IVF, circumcision, the formula industry, and sleep training. If you couldn't tell, we could spend all day talking about all of these issues and our goal is to touch on each facet more in-depth in future episodes.  Please enjoy this episode and consider leaving us a review on Apple podcasts!  Contraception: Why Not by Janet Smith, PhD American Circumcision Documentary Instagram - Coffee and Consent

Back on the podcast this week, Nicki welcomes Gina to the show! Gina is a navy veteran, a mom of 4, and an International Board-Certified Lactation Consultant. Gina shares her breastfeeding journey, including navigating a lack of support from an IBCLC in her early motherhood days, we discuss oral ties, and how birth impacts breastfeeding. We are so appreciative that Gina took the time out of her schedule as a busy mom and hardworking professional to share her wisdom on the show. You can find Gina on Instagram and from there, learn how to set up one-on-one consults with her. If you would please consider leaving us a rating and review on Apple podcasts, we would super appreciate it! Gina Motsay, IBCLC – Instagram USLCA – Find an IBCLC La Leche League International (LLLI) Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale (EPDS) International Lactation Consultant Assocition (ILCA) Chrysalis Orofacial

While Alicia and Nicki land on many different facets of this topic, they all revolve around this element that we are all familiar with, and that women in particular are socialized to default to. We are bringing to light the fact that many women, particularly during their pregnancies and in preparation for their births, put their own wants and needs on the back burner to accommodate the desires of those around her. This then translates into a lack of boundaries, a lack of responsibility, general loss of self-confidence, and the cycle continues in our children. We discuss the painful realities that we face on a daily basis, either first-hand in our own lives, or coming from the women and families we interact with. We hope you find this episode inspiring, thought-provoking, and encouraging, to prioritize your needs and the needs of your baby ahead of the preferences of other people in your life. People-pleasing is costly and our children bear the brunt.  If you're listening on Apple podcasts, please consider leaving us a rating and review! Freebirth Society Podcast - Stepping Into Radical Responsibility with Leisa Masters Coffee and Consent - 10 Questions to Ask a Prospective Midwife (our FREE guide!)

We had the pleasure of chatting with Taylor Kulik, occupational therapist, and sleep & well-being specialist. Taylor shares her sleep training journey and how it ultimately unfolded, as well as how the societal expectations of infant sleep contribute to the harm of the family unit, breastfeeding, and attachment. In this episode, we dive into safe bedsharing, misconceptions about whether it is in fact safe, and the problems that arise when providers withhold safe bedsharing information. We are so thankful that Taylor took the time out of her busy schedule as a wife, mom, advocate, and coach, to chat with us about such important topics. While we understand some families feel that sleep training is their only option, or that it is developmentally advantageous, we acknowledge that sleep training is fundamentally incompatible with fostering a secure attachment relationship, which requires coregulation, responsiveness, and proximity. We hope you find this episode informative, encouraging, challenging, and affirming. Thanks again, Taylor!  As always, please understand that we are all moms and having our little ones close sometimes means they are a part of these episodes and we make no apologies for that. Taylor Kulik - Postpartum & Family Wellness Taylor Kulik - Instagram La Leche League - The Safe Sleep Seven Dr. James McKenna - The Motherbaby Dyad & Safe Cosleeping Hold On To Your Kids by Dr. Gordon Neufeld & Dr. Gabor Mate  Let's Sleep On It: Reclaiming Parenthood Podcast - Bedsharing, Breastfeeding, and Mother's Mental Health with Dr. Kathleen Kendall-Tackett  Let's Sleep On It: Reclaiming Parenthood Podcast - Outsourcing our parenting authority and more with Alicia Crews of @instinctualbirthing PART 1  Let's Sleep On It: Reclaiming Parenthood Podcast - Outsourcing our parenting authority and more with Alicia Crews of @instinctualbirthing PART 2 Isla Grace Sleep  American Psychology Association - The Lasting Impact of Neglect

It was our pleasure to sit down with Olivia to bring you this episode full of information, insight, honesty, and inconvenient truths! Olivia is mother, medical freedom advocate, birth & postpartum doula, and is passionate about nutrition and holistic healing. Her perspective is so valuable in this era of censorship, and we really appreciate her taking the time to chat with us. We sincerely hope that listening to this episode encourages you to research any and all medical treatments that you or your children are offered. A few important things to remember: companies that make these shots are not liable for injury or death; you have the universal, fundamental human right to refuse any medical treatment; vaccine injury is real and more common than any of us are really aware of.   Olivia Friel - Instagram Just the Inserts The Holistic Mother - Instagram  The Unvaccinated Child by Judith Thompson and Eli Camp The Moth in the Iron Lung by Forrest Maready The Truth About Vaccines The Vaccine-Friendly Plan by Dr. Paul Thomas What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Children's Vaccinations by Stephanie Cave Vaccines, Autoimmunity, and the Changing Nature of Childhood Illness by Dr. Thomas Cowan Evidence of Harm by David Kirby The Vaccine Book by Dr. Robert Sears Dissolving Illusions by Suzanne Humphries How to Raise a Healthy Child in Spite of Your Doctor by Dr. Robert Mendelsohn

We are back this week with an episode surrounding the topic of provider - specifically obstetric - abuse. While it is extremely common, normalized, and accepted, abuse is the leading cause of birth trauma. In this episode, we briefly discuss the history of obstetrics, including its racist and misogynistic roots. While midwifery is believed to be the "answer" to the mainstream abusive models of care, it is actually very much the same, since midwifery has been appropriated and regulated by the same entities which own and regulate obstetrics. We share abuse stories from women and hope to remind our listeners that the stories and experiences shared here are quite literally the tip of the iceberg. You know and love someone who has been abused by their provider(s), because essentially all women have. Please see the abuse highlights on Alicia's Instagram and Nicki's Instagram for some of the stories relayed in this episode and many, many more.  Fertility Friday Podcast episode 368 - Why Your Doctor Isn't Helping You with Your Period Problems  "Obstetric abuse is whatever a person who has been subjected to it believes it to be." -Sarah Leahy, Birth Uprising Alicia Crews - Instagram Nicki French - Instagram Commonwealth Fund - Maternal Mortality Maternity Care US Compared 10 Other Countries  NCBI - Maternal and Newborn Care in the United States - Birth Settings in America  Evidence Based Birth - What is Home Birth?  Freebirth Society Podcast - Beyond Complicity: Birth Work Outside the System "You're gonna show up for your appointment and at the appointment, we'll let you know what's negotiable and what's not."

Welcome back to part 2 of this conversation that will never stop developing! The second half of our conversation with Rachel focuses primarily on Cesarean sections - the reasons, the risks, and the repercussions. Be sure to listen to part 1 in order to hear everything that came before this!  For a visual graphic on the cascade of interventions, see our Instagram highlight titled 'Show Notes'. Thanks again, Rachel! Can't wait to chat again soon. "When we interfere in labor, we're not only interfering with what our bodies are doing, but we're interfering with what's going on with the baby too." -Rachel Instagram - Rachel Garrett Instagram - The Home Birth After Cesarean Podcast Freebirth Society Podcast - 'Beyond Complicity: Birth Work Outside the System' Of the women who plan VBACs, 70-80% will have successful vaginal births, but 80-90% of women who have an initial Cesarean will go on to have elective repeat Cesareans. In the US, there are 700,000 primary Cesareans performed every year. Around 470,000 of them are unnecessary or were unnecessary until an emergency was caused. 515,000 repeat Cesareans are performed every year. Especially considering the false assumption that, "once a C-section, always a C-section," by our estimates, around 400,000 of them are unnecessary or were unnecessary until an emergency was caused. International Cesarean Awareness Network - A Breakdown of Risk: Comparing VBAC & Repeat Cesarean In the 1970’s placenta accreta presented in about 1 out of 4,027 births In the 1980’s, it presented in about 1 out of every 2,510 births In the 2000’s, it presented in about 1 out of every 533 births So far, in the 2020’s, it has escalated to about 1 out of every 320 births

This week, our dear friend Rachel joins us on the pod to discuss interventions in birth and the role they play in the process. In this episode, we cover several interventions (including some that may surprise you), and future episodes will cover more. We are pleased to bring this information to you, to shed light on the disgraceful lack of informed consent in maternity care, and to hopefully play a small role in helping you to make decisions that align with your birth goals. Stay tuned for part 2, which airs next week! “You don’t have to tell your body how to give birth to your baby.” - Rachel  Instagram - Rachel Garrett Instagram - The Home Birth After Cesarean Podcast “Watching a cervix to tell the time of birth is like watching someone’s mouth to know when dinner will be served.” -Gail Tully The Performance - YouTube "However much we know about birth in general, we know nothing about a particular birth. We must let it unfold in its own uniqueness." -Elizabeth Noble Free Birth Society Podcast: Gestational Diabetes, GBS, Ultrasound Technology, and RH Negative: A New Perspective Unpacking Ultrasound With Yolande Clark – Free Birth Society Hey! Did you see we're on Apple podcasts? Please consider leaving us a rating and review! It really helps get our message out. Please share with friends and family and tag us if you share your listening experience - @coffeeandconsent.

This week, we chat with Emily from Mama Wilder about a few important topics - showing your kids that they are powerful, modeling advocacy, and living with radical responsibility are just a few of the topics covered in this episode. Emily shares a bit about her life, as well as the difference between "shaming" and feeling ashamed. Thanks again, Emily, for devoting time to come on our platform! Instagram - Mama Wilder "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt Lovely Luna Freebirth Guide - DM to purchase (Not mentioned in the episode, but still phenomenal) The Complete Guide to Freebirth by the Freebirth Society Freebirth -- Self-Directed Pregnancy and Birth by Sarah Schmid Home Birth On Your Own Terms by Heather Baker Coffee and Consent -- Resources Instagram - Lily Nichols Instagram - The Holistic Mother Freebirth Society Podcast -- Gestational Diabetes, GBS, Ultrasound Technology, and RH Negative: A New Perspective Did you see we're on Apple podcasts!? Please leave us a rating and review - it really helps people find us! Thank you!!