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Non-Monogamy Help

Non-Monogamy Help is a relationship advice podcast for people in non-monogamous or polyamorous relationships. With the help of a therapist with over a decade of experience, your host Lola Phoenix, answers the questions your questions about rules, hierarchies, unicorns and more.

Weekly hand curated podcast episodes for learning

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The best episodes ranked using user listens.

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Episode 3: Shouldn't this be easier if I've cheated?

What if you’ve tried non-monogamy because you cheated, and it’s not working out as well as you thought? That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Patreon. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!  More about Non-Monogamy Help: Read the column Subscribe to the newsletter Become a patron Follow us on Twitter Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.

24mins

8 Feb 2019

Rank #1

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Episode 14 - To Open or Not To Open

Should you end a marriage with kids just because your partner wants to be explore? Or just wait it out?  That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Patreon. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!  More about Non-Monogamy Help: Read the column Subscribe to the newsletter Become a patron Follow us on Twitter Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.

31mins

29 Jul 2019

Rank #2

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Episode 5: Tricky triangles and BPD

When is a good time to try and see if you are non-monogamous? And how can borderline personality disorder impact it? That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Patreon. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!  More about Non-Monogamy Help: Read the column Subscribe to the newsletter Become a patron Follow us on Twitter Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.

34mins

8 Mar 2019

Rank #3

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Episode 20 - Ethical Non-Monogamy

Your marriage doesn't have passion but a new friendship does. How do make what's been unethical ethical? That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Patreon. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!  More about Non-Monogamy Help: Read the column Subscribe to the newsletter Become a patron Follow us on Twitter Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.

27mins

18 Oct 2019

Rank #4

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Episode 10 - Forced into Polyamory

Your partner wants to open your relationship, but you don't. And you have kids. What now? That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Patreon. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!  More about Non-Monogamy Help: Read the column Subscribe to the newsletter Become a patron Follow us on Twitter Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.

28mins

17 May 2019

Rank #5

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Episode 16 - Just Deal With It

Your partner has told you that they want to sleep with other people and expects you to just deal with it.  That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Patreon. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!  More about Non-Monogamy Help: Read the column Subscribe to the newsletter Become a patron Follow us on Twitter Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.

17mins

23 Aug 2019

Rank #6

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Episode 25 - First Time Jitters

If your first foray into non-monogamy is cheating - but it's not sexual - are you doomed?  That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Patreon. Discussion Topic - If you had a memoir, what would the title of it be? Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!  More about Non-Monogamy Help: Read the column Subscribe to the newsletter Become a patron Follow us on Twitter Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.

22mins

10 Jan 2020

Rank #7

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Episode 24 - Rules Won't Save You

Can you make enough rules to prevent your partner from leaving you? That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Patreon. Discussion Topic - Which better describes you? When my partner disappoints me… 1. I go cold, tend to withdraw and like to be alone… 2. I feel panicked and explode into rage with them… Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!  More about Non-Monogamy Help: Read the column Subscribe to the newsletter Become a patron Follow us on Twitter Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.

40mins

27 Dec 2019

Rank #8

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Episode 19 - Is Polyamory Lazy?

Is polyamory just an easy way to go from person to person to get what you want. Or is there more to it than that? That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Patreon. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!  More about Non-Monogamy Help: Read the column Subscribe to the newsletter Become a patron Follow us on Twitter Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.

22mins

4 Oct 2019

Rank #9

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Episode 13 - I Wanna Ruin Our Friendship

You've fallen for your (very monogamous) best friend. Should you take the plunge and 'ruin' your friendship?  That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Patreon. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!  More about Non-Monogamy Help: Read the column Subscribe to the newsletter Become a patron Follow us on Twitter Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.

19mins

12 Jul 2019

Rank #10

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Episode 4: Getting Married As a Triad

Is it possible to get married to both of the loves of your life? That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Patreon. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!  More about Non-Monogamy Help: Read the column Subscribe to the newsletter Become a patron Follow us on Twitter Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.

17mins

22 Feb 2019

Rank #11

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Episode 17 - Delaying The Inevitable

Your partner has agreed to open your relationship, but you're afraid to make the first leap. Should you wait until they have a date first? That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Patreon. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!  More about Non-Monogamy Help: Read the column Subscribe to the newsletter Become a patron Follow us on Twitter Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.

30mins

6 Sep 2019

Rank #12

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Episode 26 - Flirting or Cheating

What if your partner has always flirted in a way you define is cheating and now they want to be non-monogamous. That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Patreon. Discussion Topic - True or False: "I know how to stand up for myself". Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!  More about Non-Monogamy Help: Read the column Subscribe to the newsletter Become a patron Follow us on Twitter Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.

25mins

24 Jan 2020

Rank #13

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Episode 22 - Backup Wife

A husband asks a wife to open their relationship after cancer, with some troubling caveats. That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Patreon. Discussion Topic - List five ways you are difficult to live with. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!  More about Non-Monogamy Help: Read the column Subscribe to the newsletter Become a patron Follow us on Twitter Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.

27mins

29 Nov 2019

Rank #14

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Episode 21 - Walking on Eggshells

A metamour's temper has this individual walking on eggshells. Is it because they aren't doing enough? That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Patreon. Discussion Topic - What negative character flaws do you fear other people see in you? Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!  More about Non-Monogamy Help: Read the column Subscribe to the newsletter Become a patron Follow us on Twitter Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.

26mins

15 Nov 2019

Rank #15

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Episode 11 - Long Distance Lament

Your relationship has moved to long distance and your partner has a new partner... and is now ignoring your needs. What do you do? That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Patreon. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!  More about Non-Monogamy Help: Read the column Subscribe to the newsletter Become a patron Follow us on Twitter Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.

26mins

14 Jun 2019

Rank #16

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Episode 6: Polyam in the Middle

When an attempt at kitchen table polyamory goes awry and two of your loves can't see eye to eye. That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Patreon. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!  More about Non-Monogamy Help: Read the column Subscribe to the newsletter Become a patron Follow us on Twitter Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.

24mins

22 Mar 2019

Rank #17

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Episode 7 - Polyagony

Tired of juggling partners, living in polyagony, and ready to throw in the towel. That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Patreon. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!  More about Non-Monogamy Help: Read the column Subscribe to the newsletter Become a patron Follow us on Twitter Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.

30mins

5 Apr 2019

Rank #18

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Episode 23 - Abusive Metamours

Your partner is trapped in what you think is a psychologically abusive relationship. Can you get them to leave? That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Patreon. Discussion Topic - What slightly unhealthy things feel attractive in a partner? How might this relate to your relationships with your parents? Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!  More about Non-Monogamy Help: Read the column Subscribe to the newsletter Become a patron Follow us on Twitter Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.

28mins

13 Dec 2019

Rank #19

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Episode 18 - Monster of a Metamour

You don't get along with your metamour and what's more -- you think they might be unhealthy for your partner. What do you do?  That's what's on this week's episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on Patreon. Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!  More about Non-Monogamy Help: Read the column Subscribe to the newsletter Become a patron Follow us on Twitter Email nonmonogamyhelp@gmail.com with your question.

28mins

20 Sep 2019

Rank #20