Opening Up: behind the scenes of our open marriage

Nikki and John open up about why we chose to open our marriage, our relationship history and what baggage we bring to the table.

We are so happy to be back! We have so much to catch up on this episode. We look back on all of our dating adventures, look forward to where we are heading in our relationship, dish all about meeting the meta-mours (and all the emotions that came with) and John shares his poly new year's resolution!

This week we're diving deep into two very big things. First, and most exciting, John finally had sex with J! We go into all the details and find out how its different, how he feels after and how it affected Nikki. Then we talk about a fight we had after the fact... but its not about what you might guess!

This week, Nikki thrives on the energy of possibility, but forgot what it felt like to have possibility crushed. John, on the other hand, fights the green eyed monster, Jealousy and thinks about what he wants to do in the following week. 

This is a week of firsts: John set up his first date and Nikki slept with the first new person in more than seven years! John asks Nikki hardball questions about regrets and we dig into the difference between envy and jealousy.

This week John and Nikki open up about John's kink, including all the history, baggage and how they hope to move forward. Warning: spoilers: John's kink is autogynephilia, or AGP, which is the idea of transforming into being a woman and having sex as a woman. We discuss his sexual addiction, his draw to cross dressing and submissive sex, his gender dysphoria, his challenges with his gender identity and his tough decision around gender transitions and becoming a transwoman. Finally, we tackle what his sexual identity looks like today, what it means in the context of our relationship and what it could mean for the future. Its a long one.

This week, Nikki got rejected and John wasn't sure what to do about feeling like her backup plan. We talk with our friends, think about our families and dig deep to get to the root of our feeling of jealousy.

This week, we discuss the biggest fight we've had in years. We open up about why it happened, what we could have done differently, how we deescalaed and where it leaves us now. In happier news, John joined OK Cupid (and even liked some people) and we both review the lessons we've learned in our first month of our open marriage.

This week, John had a magical second date, Nikki got really serious with A. (Yes! Nikki had sex with a woman for the very first time!) And, the two of us snuck away for a very sexy, very relaxing, very much needed weekend away.

Nicky and John open up about infidelity in our relationship, including our grey areas. John asks Nikki point blank if she regrets having sex with M.  Nikki gets a major case of the Jellos while John mis-set expectations and we discuss what we could have done differently.