Episode 13 The Cult of Protozoa
This month, we both look to the past and to the future as we celebrate our first anniversary and review the rightfully popular Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century. Join us as we learn some future languages, explore the wonderful world of 2049 (which looks a lot like Earth in the 1990's with a few floating things and outfits leftover from Tomorrowland), and meet a man who is truly more an icon than a human.Luke messes up slang and had to record a segment in post. Emma recognizes a bad bitch and connects with a character on a spiritual level.Talking Points: Anniversary Head to Head, History with Z, Future Speak, Space Station Lilapsophobia, Smoking Weed In Space, There Are NO CAMERAS?, Getting Grounded, Aunt Judy, A Nice House-Ass, Independence Day, Loud Typing = Hacker, Horse Seduction, Mandatory Veganism, Multiple Hackers, A Realistic DCOM Kiss, Greg Destroys Margie, Protozoa: Your New Lord and Savior, and Some More Taglines
31 Aug 2017
Episode 25: What The Heck Are Those Two Doing In A Tree?!
It is finally time everyone. The stakes are high, but our excitement is higher. We are celebrating our monumental two-year anniversary by reviewing High. School. Musical. And of course by review, I mean we mostly just quote the best lines and shout WHAT TEAM? WILDCATS in your ears the whole episode. Luke loves Corbin Bleu and gets cast to dub over Gabriella. Emma gets location vindication and wants to see some shirtless dudes.Talking Points: A Cultural Phenomenon, Our HSM Obsession, The Problem with Gabriella, Karaoke Russian Roulette, Fate’s Role in HSM, Constant State of Pep Rally, Sharpay Evans: An Icon, Coach Bolton and Ms. Darbus Are Dead, Pink Jelly?, CELLITARY CONFINEMENT, Chad’s Armpit Hair, Search the Internet, Wildcat Spirit, The Bolton Estate, Bad Audition Montages, Ryan Is Gay, Our HSM 4 Pitch, Zeke: The Purest Boy, Troy’s Sex Garden, Coach Cockblock, Theatre Interventions, Chad’s Watches, Gabriella’s Terrible Songs, WTF Is A Scholastic Decathalon?, Troy Bolton: Basketball Messiah,These Kids Commit A Crime, Kelsey Disappears For No Reason, Rapid-Fire Ending
31 Aug 2018
Episode 37: There Is No Heterosexual Explanation For This
Sorry to make y’all wait on this one a bit longer, but I think after three years we’ve earned a little bit of wiggle room. However, the delay was not because we didn’t want to talk about this movie, quite the contrary. We are beyond stoked to finally bring you our coverage of the absolute DCOM classic: Brink! So come along as we grind down a rail into this story of friendship, betrayal, identity, and obviously rollerblading. Because the nineties were a wild time and this movie is the distillation of exactly why.Emma loves the formula and wants to join another cult. Luke missed out on blading and is ecstatic about the villain. Talking Points: Brink Can Drink, A Useless Little Sister, Baggy Fashion Only, The Male Rachel, Heavy Rocket Power Comparisons, Incredible Slang, Unsuitable Stunt Double, Terrible Fake Magazines, TEAM X-BLADEZ, The Cokehead Manager, Boarders vs. Bladers, Phat Was Cool, Peruvian Traditions?, Fantastic Pranking Skills, The Biggest Mis-Quote in DCOM History, The Maturity of Brink, Family Finance Trouble, Peter’s Abusive Stepdad, X-Bladez Supervillain Lair, Faking Sick, The Skating Legend, SkateSlutz, Val Moriarty, Out of the Ether, That Bitch, Revolting Road Rash, Losing the Message, An Iconic Milkshake Throw, Insane Music Choices, A Violent Turn, An Unfortunately Sudden Ending
7 Sep 2019
Episode 2: I, Demibot
Our two siblings find themselves looking for Princesses down in Puerto Rico...I mean the Louisana Swamps as they dive into Princess Protection Program. They end up finding an unreasonably mean daughter, the world's worst father/secret agent, and a robot named Demetria ingratiates herself into society by being an incredible bowler and stealing the schtick from Cow Belles while teaching the world all women actually want to be princesses deep down inside.Emma gets emotional and drives her brother to drink. Luke finds some unlikely favorite characters and tries to be hip in 2009.Talking Points: Kenny Ortega’s Dance Lair, BAITGIRL, Off-Brand Regina George, No Guns!, Emma’s Style Corner, The Jonas Doobie Brothers, Getting Coned, Texting AKA The Devil’s Weapon, The First (But Definitely Not The Last) Sibling Argument, How Do You Pronounce Caribbean?, Head to Head, and Tag-Team Taglines 2: Luke Does a Bad Job
17 Sep 2016
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Episode 33: On the Cutting Room Floor
It may not be Summer quite yet, but you better pack your bags, your musical instrument of choice, and your song book because: we are going to Camp Rock! Come with us as we travel back to the romantic time of 2008 and relive the film that re-introduced the world to Demi Lovato and helped to light the wildfire of Jonas Brothers mania.Emma gets shook by style and is left wanting more. Luke shares some unpopular opinions and uses the wrong name. Marissa relives her Jonas Brothers obsession.Talking Points: Descendants 3 Trailer, Pre-gap or Post-gap, JoBros Mandala Effect, Triple Sunglasses, Disney Channel Scandal, The Demi Smile, The Thinness of Tess Tyler, Apologies to Kevin Jonas, Joe vs. Nick Girls, The Little Mean Girls, Lunchroom Set Design, Sensual Cupcakes, Second Breakfasts/Bad Editing, Misdirected Deception, Connect Three Prequel Movie, Food Fight Tease, The Most Romantic Scene, That’s Chappie, Caitlyn’s Music Rights, Purity Rings, Who’s on Jonas, Romantic Canoe Rides, Tears of a Jonas, Confusing Bracelet Ploys, A Moment of Light, The Dream Tour
30 Apr 2019
Episode 24; How Geneva Got Her Groove Back
We decided to hit the track this month with Motocrossed, which seems like it would be a film about motocross. Really it's about the relationship between a mother and daughter who find themselves once they escape the influence of the family's monstrous father. So if you expected to understand anything about how motocross works I suggest you check elsewhere because we still have no clue.Emma writes her own movie/musical and falls for a male model motocrosser.Luke is persecuted for his pronunciation and flexes his French accent.Dyllan plays to his wheelhouse of films with dream-crushing parents.Talking Points: A Quick Start, Another Horrible Father, Child Mechanics, Betting It All, We Know Nothing About Motocross, The Most Unorganized Sport, Surprise Haircuts, Tear that ACL!, Twin Names,r 2000’s Telegram, Motocross War Wounds, Jimmy Bottles: The Most Important Character, A Laundry Metaphor, Strategic Nail Polish, Dean Talon: Professional Hot Guy, Faryn?, Homoerotic Lakes, One of the Most Sexual Scenes in DCOM History, DEAN’S PANTS, Support Your Daughter!, Renee Freakin Cartier, French Jerk Stereotype, Kicking the Plot into Overdrive, The Fastest Working Frenchman Ever
31 Jul 2018
Episode 35: A Disney Channel Psychological Thriller
This month’s episode is coming hot of the presses! We decided to pick up a copy of Read It and Weep, expecting to find a pretty standard story of a high-school student getting accidentally famous. What we didn’t expect to find was a character study of a young girl undergoing a mental breakdown and alienating everyone in her life for no reason other than her hallucination telling her to do so.Emma soldiers on and wants everyone to stop making their own misery. Luke re-classifies this movie and tells an embarrassing story about Emma.Talking Points: A Panabaker Double Feature, 2 Descendants 2 Furious, Her Insane Computer, Low-Rent Zac Efron, Stop Making Jason Dolley a Loser, What Were We Doing in 2006, Canadian Schools, Poetry Problems, Big Sad Boy Energy, The Most Insane Pizza Restaurant, A Confusing Writing Contest, Way Too Supportive Parents, Gotta Keep the Gold, ZAP, A Wasted Lenny, Lightspeed Book Printing, Overestimating the Fame of Authors, Disney Channel Adult Party, Why Is Sawyer So Great?, A Total Mental Breakdown on Live TV, An Unfairly Mean Protest, That Is Not How This Works!, All Ecosystems Go, Seaweed Reaction Shots, Why Is There Sushi At a Pizza Restaurant?
30 Jun 2019
Episode 23: Mel's Special Lemonade
Poets. Geniuses. Revolutionaries. The DCOMedy Crew has been called none of these things, but they are still here to talk about Lemonade Mouth for far longer than anyone should really desire to listen. Join us as we miss a bunch of crucial scenes and have to backpedal on them and get upset this film can't fulfill a subplot to save its life.Luke drinks lemonade and tears up. Emma stans Bridgit Mendler and fans people with grape leaves. Ashley gets broken by some Disney Channel rapping.Talking Points: Ashley vs. Ashley, New KP Characters, The Most Extra Intro, Poorly Cast Parents, No One Cares About Scott, A Waste of McDonald, Secret Dress Codes, Wen’s Mommy, Not Delivering on Subplots, Disney and Wheelchairs, Red Herring Lemonade Mouths, Wen Hates His Own Horse, Vegetarian Rage, Cellphone Variety, Creepy Wendell, Confusing Music Videos, Guitar Tricks, Old Cats, The Coldest Bars Imaginable, The Lemonade is GROSS, Confusing Activism, More Non-Branded Costumes, Lemonade Solves Everything, Disney Channel’s Idea of Political Statements, A Random Cloud Watching Interlude, No Teenager Has a Radio, Forced Rock Bottom, The Lemonade Destination, What Is Your Plan?, No Satisfaction, Deus Ex Mel
30 Jun 2018
Episode 3: What Is Your Plan???
Unfortunately some wayward ghosts seemed to have inhabited this particular episode, so sorry about the audio issues, but some poor sppoks aren't enough to stop us from delivering one of our most requested reviews: Halloweentown. Join our usual hosts and their very first guest Molly (@mollzydollzy on Twitter and Instagram) as they completely destroy this universally beloved treasure while also say how much they love it. Happy Halloween!Emma reunites with an old flame and gets the creeps. Luke gets his mind blown and hates himself as a child. Molly exposes Halloweentown's bullying.Talking Points: Debbie Reynolds Rules, Calabar vs. Kalabar, Marnie “Mic Drop” Piper, Off-Brand Mary Poppins, Skelepuns, SOAPY, Broom Budgets, Halloween Elvis, The Big Cheese, Old Haunts, The Craziest Thing, Halloween Hype Man, Racism Saves the Day, A Goofy-Pluto Situation, Yipee Ki Yay Chocolate Bar
31 Oct 2016
Episode 20: Everybody Loves Jordan
This month, we've got Danielle Panabaker to the left and Brenda Song to the right so you know we are Stuck in the Suburbs with you. Might as well join us as we rock to the soundtrack, learn the power of friendship, and relive our youth in the early 2000s. Emma needs a location and feel a unique mix of tipsy, nostalgic, and emotional. Luke has to translate Emma's nonsense and gets deep. Talking Points: News Tricklins, Fake Music Magazines, Cold Stone Steve Austin, Steve Holland: Savage, Cobie Smulders, Disney vs. Nick, Badly Aged Casting, Raisin Payoff, Brenda Song Masterclass, May I Call You Kip?, Drew Seeley Cameo, Stop the Creepy Little Brothers, Haircut Hijacking, Dog Identification, The House is A Metaphor, Brenda Soze, Queen vs. Queen, We Miss Lying, Violent Target Argument, Helmet Enforcement, Random Thugs, JUST GRAB THEM, A Confusing Ending
31 Mar 2018
Episode 12: DB Stands For "Dark Backstory"
This is what Summer is all about: food, friends, a little healthy competition, and of course defying the gender norms we as a a society have created. Well maybe not always that last one, but here is Eddie's Million Dollar Cook-off with all of these elements and more. Come along as we follow a young man's passion to cook with way too many montages and discover a character's dark and traumatic past.Luke bungles an intro and wants to be in a food fight. Emma doesn't care about baseball and cries hysterically. Dyllan brings his expertise to the table.Talking Points: Raven’s Theme, Froot Loop Chicken, Phoned-In Villains, The Home Ec Teacher Rules, BRIDGET DOES NOTHING WRONG, Everybody Was Kung-Food Fighting, So Many Double Plays, Bully Cheerleaders, Flay Enters, The Ending Is The Best Part, Bobby Flay Does Nothing, Keep Those Taglines Coming, and An Exciting Anniversary Announcement
31 Jul 2017
Episode 32: May the Road Rise Up to Meet Ya
St. Patrick’s Day may have passed, but the heart of the Emerald Isle still beats strong in our chests. So, we are going to express our heritage loud and proud this month by reviewing The Luck of the Irish. Join us as we follow the rainbow to find the pot of gold at the end, even if instead of gold we find confusing Leprechaun logic and a surprising amount of American propaganda.Emma bashes her heritage and is obsessed with pit stains. Lucas flexes his Irish accent and does a one-man show. Austin realizes he knows nothing about Lerprechauns.Talking Points: American Dream Propaganda, Offensive Costuming, The Last Merriman, Unnecessary Narration, Hello to Mr. Hoen, Sports Is Happening Now, Horror Movie Parents, Searching for Johnsons, Kyle is an Idiot, A Non-Copyrighted Lucky Charm, A Random Irish Festival, The Original “What Are Those”, Backpack Anxiety, Leprechaun Biology, Bianca/Debbie/Bonnie, A Crowd Bullies a Child, The Dad Should Be Way More Concerned, Leprechaun Lessons, Are All Irish People Leprechauns?, Austin Powers Chase, A Conflict of Leprechaun Interest, Reilly O’Reilly, Holding Irish Grudges, Disney Channels Confronts Slavery, Leprechauns Are Wizards Now, A Classic Cleveland Crossover, Cleveland Is a PunishmentEditor’s Note: We were trying out a new recording software and, while it worked pretty well, it did result in a little audio weirdness at times.
31 Mar 2019
Episode 30: Bullying And Cheating Are Cool?
The DCOMedy crew is many things, but one thing we definitely aren’t is smart or athletic. Well sure enough, here comes Genius to judge our abilities of being both. Join us for a film that has kind of aged poorly, as we discover why they don’t really show it anymore as well as a theoretical particle that will change the future of humanity forever! But that’s really more of a side thing to cringey school scenes and hockey.Luke has trouble pronouncing names and teaches science. Emma finds a new crush and wants to talk about Flubber. Dyllan opens a new corner.Talking Points: The Cringe, The Black Sheep of 1999, Rufus Revealed, Dad Boyle, Off-Screen Mothers, English Please, Blades vs. Skates, New Chicagoronto, Soufflé Machines, Computers + Pipes = Science, Broken Homes, A Man Named Bear, PIFFWHIFFER, The Bluntest Man, Confusing Living Situations, Adults Bullying Children, Chazzing It Up, Easy Enrollment, Johnny Bahama Vomit, Krickstein Don’t Care, Goin Psycho, The Dad Knows Nothing, Tutoring Trope, Smelling Hair, Chaz Bourne, A Horrible Accident, Paying the Water Bill, Everyone Laughs at a Wounded Child, Charlie Is Actually Nice, Invalid Nuns, Claire-zer Soze, Charlie Doesn’t Explain Anything, Everybody Hates Charlie, Claire Does Nothing Wrong, Krickstein Saves the Day?, The Game Continues, Junior High Genius
31 Jan 2019
Episode 8: Stand By Your Merman
Despite technical delays the DCOMedy Crew is ready to swim right up and cover the wettest and wildest DCOM yet, The Thirteenth Year. Journey with us to a rustic sea village where swimming is the paragon of sportsmanship, the sound design is just a ton of insane choices, and not being able to swim is a crime equating treason. Be sure to listen all the way to the end for a special announcement!Luke gets the surprised by Disney Channel and coins a new word. Emma is done with Disney TV and gets grossed out by fish makeup.Talking Points: Ducktalk, JonaSoul Cycle, Ridiculous Yet Somehow Real Names, Impossible Radar, Too Much Swimming, People Laugh at a Drowning Child, An Entirely Pointless Argument, Ridiculous Merman Powers, Hitch’s Law, The Spider-man Year, Kristen Stewart is in This?, The World’s Most Illogical Diagnosis, Criminal Mermaids, Fiji Needs to Sue Disney, Single Mermaid Mom: Wednesdays on NBC, and Disney Teaches A New Generation about Steroids
9 Apr 2017
Episode 22: Emma vs. Luke - Dawn of Zombies
This month, we are looking at the most recent DCOM yet: Zombies. Surprisingly, it has left us in a bit of a standoff. One host thinks its good, one thinks its bad, but they are both definitely really confused about how zombies work. Join us for some amazing choreography, hilarious side characters, and ridiculous wig work.Emma misses that this is an allegory and doesn’t pay attention. Luke gets his speech patterns called out and wants you to know he runs our twitter.Talking Points: Nobody Tell Disney Channel About Us, Kim Possible Casting, Horrible Zombie Logic, Zombie Uniforms, Confirmed Zombie Sex, Twilight Parody, Full Blue’s Clues, Wig on a Wig, Allegories with Mixed Messages, Bree and Bonzo: Incredibly Pointless, Time Once Again Has No Meaning, The Amazing Football Coach, Pointless Walls, Inconsistent Hatred, Zombies vs. Fire, Zombie Social Justice, ZOMBIE MASH, Performance Enhanced Zombies, Human World Problems, Necrodopolous?, Confusing Dream Sequences, Scooby-Bonzo, Non-specific Sabotage, The Power of Cheer, What Got Fixed?
31 May 2018
Episode 18: Wizard's Duel With Richard Nixon
This month, we try to capture a little magic for the new year by reviewing the mystifying film Now You See It... Not mystifying because it's magic, but because this film is an enigma not even the greatest film theorists could even begin to comprehend. You might as well try one of the many drinking games we suggest with the film and see if that makes anything that happens seem like it is a coherent narrative.Luke has amnesia about rankings and is here for the high stakes. Emma didn’t learn anyone’s name and has some feelings for Aly Michalka.Talking Points: A Zombie Turd, Reranking, Return of the Fashion Corner, Are We In New Orleans?, The World’s Worst Reality Show Competition, Disney Censorship, Magicians are Safe-crackers?, Unquestioned Teleportation, An Nonsensical Mechanical Bull, Fortune Teller Stereotypes, The Plot Actually Starts to Happen, Knight Fight, Aly Is an Idiot, Mystic Max Rules, Hall of Mirror Escapes, Attempted Murder on Disney Channel, The Most Insane Thing, A Totally Unsatisfying Ending
31 Jan 2018
Episode 7: Everybody Wants to Bone the Hologram
Terribly sorry this one was so late everybody, but if we learned anything from the classic that is Pixel Perfect its that nobody's perfect! Except for a hologram made by a misogynistic and horny teenager that just makes fun of people's weight and does upsetting dance moves in a childrens' movie. Join us as we rediscover a film we remembered well but found the expierience of actually rewatching it to not be enjoyable at all, so that's a good sign... Luke tries/fails to use Raviv’s proper name and misuses the word “congeal”. Emma rides the dragon that is NyQuil and makes Luke insert a ton of clips in post. Talking Points: The Most uncomfortable DCOM’s, The Dad Sucks, Who are the Band Members? The Moxley Spin Off, Crowd Scenes, A Hard Midnight, Straight Up Body Horror, Disney Channel Gets Deep, An Entirely Pointless Conversation about AI, Kinda Racism?, Literally the Craziest Ending, Ghost Holograms?, Emma’s Birthday Story
7 Mar 2017
Episode 19: Hullabaloo About Loubalu
It's a tale as old as time. Boy meets girl, dumps his lunch on her, and then asks her to be the star of a documentary. Come along as we jump over a big hurdle of awkwardness, try to make sense of this bonkers script, and endure more unexplained vlogging. Emma relives her popularity and has no follow through. Luke needs a Geography lesson and flexes his film muscles.Talking Points: Kim Possible Movie, Ironic Zombie Expectancy, More DCOM Drinking Games, Another Mean Girls Rip-off, THE RAMP, We Need To Talk About Asher, More Freakin Vlogs, A Perfect Storm of Tropes, 2005 Cell Phone Store, Dylan’s Supervillain Lair, Missing Marta, San Diego vs. Francisco, Fedoras All Around, Makeover Montage!, Burping Contests, Glasses Shaming, Amber Was Never Your Mom, This Ending Is Mean Girls
28 Feb 2018
Episode 9: Emma Wrote This Movie
Much to the dismay of one of our hosts, our look back on Get a Clue is finally here! Come along on a film seemingly written by pulling ideas out of a hat, where children are allowed to participate in a possible murder investigation and have both ridiculous technology and even more ridiculous outfits that make it seem like a rejected crossover between Clueless and The Matrix.Emma has a fashion overload and gets mad at her fake superhero boyfriend. Luke reveals he has seen no movies and insults Queen LiLo.Talking Points: Feminism Lite, Raven is Home, Spy Sister, Unrealistic Wealth Obviously Named Characters, Journalistic Sexism, An Actually Good Dad, Our Heroes Commit Multiple Crimes, NAVY, Everything is On the Internet, Someone Uses a Pager, Why Is He Trusting A Child?, Awkward Dance Excuses, Infinite Money, The Red Herring Convention of 2002, Why Is He So Afraid of Children?, Who Called the Police?, You Had One Job!
30 Apr 2017
Episode 11: Girls Can Do Anything Boys Can Do
The DCOMedy Crew is getting summer started off right with our first foray into the Modern Era of Disney Channel as we ride the waves straight into Teen Beach Movie. Join us as we are again without a guest, as we jump into an homage to the 60's beach movies and cheesy musicals and end up finding a movie built on a series of strong choices, some genuine bops, and the stupidest villains we have seen thus far.Emma calls out a writer and really wants you to watch The West Wing. Luke wins a bet and doesn't find anyone interesting.Talking Points: Fuller Raven's Home, Drake vs. Josh, Ducktalk!, Confusing Motivations, The Surfboard Is Magic?, Safety First!, Is Rascal Okay?, Why Does Giggles Just Gyrate? Literal Adults With Horrible Accents, A Back To The Future Situation, Seriously Disney...An Angry Birds Joke?, Feminism in 1962, Straight-up Sci-Fi, The Biggest Leap, Lighthouse-phobia, and A Bad Ending That Doesn't Matter
1 Jul 2017