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Rank #8 in Management category

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Careers
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Coaching for Leaders

Updated 10 days ago

Rank #8 in Management category

Business
Careers
Management
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Leaders aren’t born, they’re made. This Monday show helps you discover leadership wisdom through insightful conversations. Independently produced weekly since 2011, Dr. Dave Stachowiak brings perspective from a thriving, global leadership academy, plus more than 15 years of leadership at Dale Carnegie. Bestselling authors, expert researchers, deep conversation, and regular dialogue with listeners have attracted 12 million downloads and the #1 search result for coaching on Apple Podcasts. Activate your FREE membership to search the entire episode library by topic at CoachingforLeaders.com

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Leaders aren’t born, they’re made. This Monday show helps you discover leadership wisdom through insightful conversations. Independently produced weekly since 2011, Dr. Dave Stachowiak brings perspective from a thriving, global leadership academy, plus more than 15 years of leadership at Dale Carnegie. Bestselling authors, expert researchers, deep conversation, and regular dialogue with listeners have attracted 12 million downloads and the #1 search result for coaching on Apple Podcasts. Activate your FREE membership to search the entire episode library by topic at CoachingforLeaders.com

iTunes Ratings

736 Ratings
Average Ratings
654
43
15
14
10

Great!

By tommye w-c - Mar 17 2020
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Incredible coaching and advice for leaders!

Useful podcast

By Angscreed - Mar 09 2020
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It provides a secure and digestible way to coach self and others.

iTunes Ratings

736 Ratings
Average Ratings
654
43
15
14
10

Great!

By tommye w-c - Mar 17 2020
Read more
Incredible coaching and advice for leaders!

Useful podcast

By Angscreed - Mar 09 2020
Read more
It provides a secure and digestible way to coach self and others.
Cover image of Coaching for Leaders

Coaching for Leaders

Latest release on Apr 06, 2020

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Leaders aren’t born, they’re made. This Monday show helps you discover leadership wisdom through insightful conversations. Independently produced weekly since 2011, Dr. Dave Stachowiak brings perspective from a thriving, global leadership academy, plus more than 15 years of leadership at Dale Carnegie. Bestselling authors, expert researchers, deep conversation, and regular dialogue with listeners have attracted 12 million downloads and the #1 search result for coaching on Apple Podcasts. Activate your FREE membership to search the entire episode library by topic at CoachingforLeaders.com

Rank #1: 306: Five Steps to Hold People Accountable, with Jonathan Raymond

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Jonathan Raymond: Good Authority
Jonathan Raymond is the founder of Refound, a firm that believes we should all be aiming for more Yoda and less Superman. He is the author of the book, Good Authority: How to Become the Leader Your Team Is Waiting For*.

Many managers and leaders recognize when more accountability is needed, but few use a process that invites high performance and embraces the whole person. In his work at Refound, Jonathan invites leaders to imagine a world where personal and professional growth are one thing, and where improving your relationships and owning your strengths translate directly into the rest of your life.

In this conversation, Jonathan teaches us a common language around accountability that works for almost everyone. Plus, he teaches us the five key steps of the accountability dial.
Key Points

Micromanagement is focused on tasks, but accountability is focused on relationships.
Accountability doesn’t work unless there’s a context of personal caring.
Employees want growth, and growth comes from productive discomfort. If you if you orient your day towards acknowledgment only on the positive side, you’re missing the better part of it.

The 5 Steps of the Accountability Dial:

The Mention
The Invitation
The Conversation
The Boundary
The Limit

Resources Mentioned

Good Authority: How to Become the Leader Your Team Is Waiting For* by Jonathan Raymond
Download the Accountability Dial
Refound (Jonathan's Firm)

Book Notes
Download my highlights from Good Authority in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes

How to Create Team Guidelines, with Susan Gerke (episode 192)
New Management Practices of Leading Organizations, with David Burkus (episode 253)
Moving Beyond Command and Control, with Brian Robertson (episode 258)

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

Jul 17 2017

43mins

Play

Rank #2: 148: The Four Critical Stories Leaders Need For Influence, with David Hutchens

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Leaders often hear about influence through storytelling, but don't know where to start. Here are four stories to tell and how to get started.
Guest: David Hutchens
DavidHutchens.com
Author of the Upcoming Book: Circle of the 9 Muses: A Storytelling Field Guide for Innovators

Storytelling is utilized for influence

“It’s more important to tell a strategic story, to tell the right story, even if you don’t tell it particularly well.” -David Hutchens

The starting point of telling stories is permission

Storytelling is a skill that nobody really has to learn since it’s our natural language

Leaders needs to give themselves permission to tell a story in their organization

The 4 stories leaders need to tell

Who we are stories - what it means to be us

Think about the stories parents and caregivers told you when you were young about what it was like growing up for them
When we do this, we impart information about what we believe and who we are today
Every organization and team has an origin story
David shared the origin story of General Electric
A story from a leader always has a reason for telling it
What are the identity and origin stories that you have?
Vision stories - the future we desire

These stories should be told in present tense language
You can tell a story about somebody else that is already doing what it is you envision
You might tell a story about someone else if it’s a big jump from where the organization is today
Values in action stories - how the espoused values show up in our organization

David mentioned Zappos and the stories they create about customer service
The stories being told also affect how members of the organization make future choices
The right story should reconnect people with why they really care about this work
Change and learning stories - the stories about a time we tried something and learned from it

This is generally the hardest story to tell
Think about the leaders you’ve loved and appreciated the most (the best ones do this well)
These stories can build culture and loyalty
David shared the failure story of New Coke
Here’s the structure:

I tried something
Here’s the bad result I got
Here’s why I got that bad result
Here’s how I’m now changing my behavior so I get a better result next time
Don’t try to change your voice and be a professional storyteller: talk like you

Feedback

On this topic: http://coachingforleaders.com/148
Comments, questions, or feedback: http://coachingforleaders.com/feedback

The final opportunity for listener survey is this week. Please take five minutes to complete the anonymous survey at: http://coachingforleaders.com/survey

Thank you to Arch Daws, Torrey Peace, Brent Miller, Bridget Blackford, Hector Gutierrez, David Welch, Jeff Trimble, Deepak Kahlon, Christy Owen, Leandro Soares, Kevin Kawada, Kevin McClelland, Katie Arnst, Mandy Blasby, Malcolm McDonald, Dawn Ranagan, and Henry Rihard Pasaribu for subscribing to my weekly update this past week. You can subscribe as well at http://coachingforleaders.com/subscribe

Jul 07 2014

39mins

Play

Rank #3: 337: Six Tactics for Extraordinary Performance, with Morten Hansen

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Morten Hansen: Great at Work
Morten Hansen is a management professor at University of California, Berkeley. He is the coauthor with Jim Collins of the New York Times bestseller Great by Choice and the author of the new book Great at Work: How Top Performers Do Less, Work Better, and Achieve More*.
Key Points
The Six Tactics:

Carve out the 15
Chunk it
Measure the soft
Get feedback
Dig the dip
Confront the stall point

Other Points:

Focus on one skill you want to prove.
Meetings should only be for debate, not status updates.
Having a coach is great, but often you can coach yourself if you only focus on one thing at a time.

Resources Mentioned

Great at Work* by Morten Hansen
Great by Choice* by Jim Collins and Morten T. Hansen

Book Notes
Download my highlights from Great at Work in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes

CFL31: Five Effective Ways to Train the People You Lead (episode 31)
CFL157: Why It’s Essential To Struggle With Learning (episode 157)
CFL181: Create the Best Place to Work, with Ron Friedman (episode 181)
CFL273: Essentials of Adult Development, with Mindy Danna (episode 273)

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

Feb 19 2018

38mins

Play

Rank #4: 282: How to Motivate People, with Dan Ariely

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Dan Ariely: Payoff
Dan Ariely is the James B. Duke Professor of Psychology and Behavioral Economics at Duke University and a founding member of the Center for Advanced Hindsight. His books include Irrationally Yours, Predictably Irrational, The Upside of Irrationality, The (Honest) Truth About Dishonesty, and his most recent book, Payoff: The Hidden Logic That Shapes Our Motivations.
Key Points

The things that motivate us are about accomplishment and achievement, not day-to-day happiness.
Most people realize that they themselves are not truly motivated by money, but they still assume other people are completely motivated by it.
Figure out a way to pay people that adds to the development of a long-term relationship, not a short-term transactional one.
It is important to find a way to connect people’s jobs to the final outcome of their work, because many people don’t feel connected to their organization’s main purpose.

Resources Mentioned

Payoff: The Hidden Logic That Shapes Our Motivations* by Dan Ariely
Predictably Irrational* by Dan Ariely
Drive* by Daniel Pink
www.danariely.com

Book Notes
Download my highlights from Payoff in PDF format (free membership required).
Activate Your Free Coaching for Leaders Membership
Get immediate access to my free, 10-day audio course, 10 Ways to Empower the People You Lead. Give me 10 minutes a day for 10 days to get the most immediate, practical actions to become a better leader. Join at CoachingforLeaders.com.
Related Episodes

CFL84: Daniel Pink on To Sell is Human
CFL181: Create the Best Place to Work
CFL251: What to Do When Somebody Quits
CFL253: New Management Practices of Leading Organizations
CFL276: Employee Engagement With Management 3.0

Next Episode
Bonni and I return for the monthly question and answer show. Submit your question for consideration next week or for the first question and answer show the first Monday of every month at http://coachingforleaders.com/feedback
Thank You
Thank you to Greg Hall and Chase Batt here in the States and Lynn Wang in Hong Kong for the kind reviews on iTunes. To leave a rating or review, visit http://coachingforleaders.com/itunes

Jan 30 2017

35mins

Play

Rank #5: 223: Start With Why, with Simon Sinek

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Simon Sinek: Start with Why* and Leaders Eat Last*
Questions from Mastermind members:

How do you make these ideas part of the operating culture of the organization? —Mike
I have listened to Simon's book, Why Leaders Eat Last. Simon provided a lot of examples of what he calls the circle of safety. His philosophy and ideas are rational. Does he have data to support that getting buy in on his philosophy is actually good for business by reducing costs or increasing profits? —Chris

Quotes
Companies should not be deciding their purpose or cause based on market research. That’s like a politician deciding what their vision is based on poll numbers.
—Simon Sinek

The first step to becoming that leader we wish we had is to actually want to be the leader.
—Simon Sinek

It’s about all about purpose and creating strong human relationships, and learning your “Why” gives you a massive advantage in decision-making.
—Simon Sinek

Fulfillment comes through service to others. When we make it about ourselves, it never really works. When we make it about others, it really feels amazing.
—Simon Sinek

If your kid has a bad report card, you don’t put him up for adoption, you get him a tutor. If someone has performance issues at the company, you don’t fire them, you coach them.
—Simon Sinek

Leadership is a process, and it requires commitment.
—Simon Sinek

The only way to find out if it will work is to do it.
—Simon Sinek

Leaders are not responsible for the numbers; leaders are responsible for the people responsible for the numbers.
—Simon Sinek
Resources

Book: Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action* by Simon Sinek
Book: Leaders Eat Last* by Simon Sinek
TED talk: How great leaders inspire action

Feedback

Comments, questions, or feedback for future Q&A shows: http://coachingforleaders.com/feedback
The next Q&A show is episode 225

Please join my weekly leadership guide. The leadership guide is delivered to your inbox each Wednesday and includes my thoughts and recommendations on the best articles, podcasts, videos, and books, to support your development between shows.

As a bonus, when you join the weekly leadership guide, you'll get immediate access to my reader's guide listing the 10 Leadership Books that Will Help You Get Better Results From Others with brief summaries from me on the value of each book. Download the 11-page reader's guide and 9-minute video of these book recommendations. Visit http://coachingforleaders.com/subscribe
Thank You
Thank you to Jon Lokhorst for the kind review on iTunes. If you would like to post a review as well, it's a huge help in the growth of the Coaching for Leaders community. If you use iTunes, just visit http://coachingforleaders.com/itunes and thank you in advance for your support!

Dec 14 2015

39mins

Play

Rank #6: 161: How To Address Difficult Conversations

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Bonni and I respond to questions from the Coaching for Leaders community on how to handle difficult conversations and more.
Guest: Bonni Stachowiak
Teaching in Higher Ed

Question from Leonardo
I´m one of your fans, I listen your podcast every day and I see better results on my day job managing an emergency room in Brazilian Hospital. I'm a cardiologist and today I work as a manger also. I was listening the episode 143, about feedback, while I was driving to my job and I was thinking how difficult to me is receive a negative feedback. I think that what struggle in this situation is emotion and controlling the emotion to respond or give some excuse for that negative perception. When I give any feedback to my employees I saw this same problem. How do I train myself to be better on that?

Episode #143: Accepting Feedback With Sheila Heen of Difficult Conversations
Episode #107: Three Steps To Soliciting Feedback with Tom Henschel
Lets Get Real Or Let's Not Play by Mahan Khalsa*

Question from Dow

Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen*
The Dale Carnegie Course
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie*
Positive Coaching by Jim Thompson*

Question from Nathan
I am not currently in a "leadership" position but I feel that I am being called to leadership and feel that leadership and coaching is something that I would enjoy long term. I wanted to ask what recommendations you would have to really start moving in this direction and to start developing those skills. I've been trying to read books and listen to podcast to get some insight but haven't really had the opportunity to hone these skills. I am looking at going to toastmasters to get some experience/training in public speaking to get started working on something I don't feel I'm strong in. Do you have any recommendations of things like Toastmasters that I can check out or any suggestions on steps I could take to improve my leadership and coaching skills?

Toastmasters
Junior Chamber International (Jaycees)

Feedback

Join the conversation: http://coachingforleaders.com/161
Comments, questions, or feedback for future Q&A shows: http://coachingforleaders.com/feedback
Next Q&A show is episode #165 on Networking

Thank you to weekly update subscribers Jane Stachowiak, Melissa Minneci, Nick Smith, Adam Trainque, Jared Weikum, Guto Nicolazzi, Susan Smith, Federico De Obeso, Eduardo Mifano, John Mihalyo, Neil, Marcus Wallace, Adriana Ramirez, Tim Hill, Richard Carter, Clayton Dumcum, Jared Gonzalez, M. Key, Chris Bazille, Aaron Saray, Scott Bray, Chris Bean, Carina Costa, Shaun Ng, Rodney Freeman, Dow Tippett, Tom Kennedy, Kevin Lease, Jennifer Hammonds, David Kane, Francisco Prezoto, Marcia Roberts, Sharon Sauro, and Jennifer Mueller.

Receive the 10 Leadership Books That Will Help You Get Better Results From Others, including 2 books that I rely on weekly. You can subscribe at http://coachingforleaders.com/subscribe

Thank you also to David Wissore for leaving a written review on Stitcher and Eve Oliveira for leaving a written review on iTunes. If you've been listening to this show for a bit and feel like you can provide an honest review, kindly visit iTunes or Stitcher and leave a written review for the show. Thank you in advance!

Oct 06 2014

Play

Rank #7: 316: Executive Presence with Your Elevator Speech, with Tom Henschel

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Tom Henschel: The Look & Sound of Leadership
Tom Henschel of Essential Communications grooms senior leaders and executive teams. An internationally recognized expert in the field of workplace communications and self-presentation, he has helped thousands of leaders achieve excellence through his work as an executive coach and his top-rated podcast, The Look & Sound of Leadership.
Key Points

An elevator speech is a crisp, concise, high-level summary of a complex, multi-layered topic.
It can be about whatever you do as a profession, but it can also be about anything else, like your recent vacation.
Elevator speeches get crafted … it doesn’t happen in the spur of the moment.
Creating an elevator speech doesn’t take long, but you have to choose to reflect.
An elevator speech is actually a conversation tailored to the other person.
Say a little bit, and then test the other person’s level of interest.
The longer you talk, the less effective you are.

The Three Qualities of a Great Elevator Speech

Keep it short
Be memorable
Tailor it to the listener

Resources Mentioned

Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office* by Lois P. Frankel

Related Episodes

Enhance Your Executive Presence, with Tom Henschel (episode 272)
How to Grow Your Professional Network, with Tom Henschel (episode 279)
Tom Henschel Interviews Dave (episode 300)

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

Sep 25 2017

39mins

Play

Rank #8: 192: How to Create Team Guidelines, with Susan Gerke

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Susan Gerke: Go Team Resources
Susan was last appeared on three prior shows:

21: Your Strengths and Blind Spots
138: The Four Unique Types of Teams
139: How To Maximize Team Performance

You can discover more about Susan and her training materials at Go Team Resources.

On a true team, the work is all integrated.

Don’t create guidelines yourself and give them to the team.

A starting point for how to create team guidelines is what did not work well on a previous team.

“The dialogue that happens while team guidelines are being created is almost the highest value thing that happens.” -Susan Gerke

It’s important to have everyone present at a team meeting.

Creating operating guidelines is really foundational work for a team.

If you don’t do these kinds of things for your team, where do you go when you’re struggling?

How to keep it visible:

Don’t go past 8 guidelines for a team
Have a team rate themselves on each item immediately
Assess the same number a regular meetings (monthly and then quarterly)
Make changes along the way, but use a structured process
Disagreement is the sign of a healthy team

We also mentioned Susan’s business partner David Hutchens, who appeared on episode 148: The Four Stories Leaders Need For Influence
Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

May 11 2015

39mins

Play

Rank #9: 358: How to Lead Meetings That Get Results, with Mamie Kanfer Stewart

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Mamie Kanfer Stewart: Momentum
Mamie Kanfer Stewart is the founder and CEO of Meeteor, a global venture providing meeting management solutions. She’s the author along with Tai Tsao of the book Momentum: Creating Effective, Engaging, and Enjoyable Meetings*.
Key Points
Six reasons we have meetings:

Connect
Align
Decide
Ideate/Brainstorm
Plan
Produce

Three kinds of people that are involved in a meeting are people who need to be:

Consulted
Informed
Engaged

Resources Mentioned

Download the first chapter of Momentum
The Modern Manager podcast
Momentum: Creating Effective, Engaging, and Enjoyable Meetings*

Book Notes
Download my highlights from Momentum in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes

How to Create Team Guidelines, with Susan Gerke (episode 192)
How to Maximize Standing Meetings and More Questions, with Bonni Stachowiak (episode 212)
The Way to Conduct One-on-Ones, with Zvi Band (episode 246)

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

Jun 25 2018

39mins

Play

Rank #10: 104: How To Maintain Control When Completely Overwhelmed

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It’s a busy time of the year for many of us and perhaps you’re struggling with overwhelm recently and#8211; or maybe you feel out of control already. On today’s show, you’ll discover how to maintain control when completely overwhelmed.

Sep 02 2013

Play

Rank #11: 271: How to Increase Your Conversational Intelligence, with Judith Glaser

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Judith Glaser: Conversational Intelligence
Judith Glaser is an Organizational Anthropologist. She is one of the most pioneering and innovative change agents, consultants, and executive coaches, in the consulting industry and is the world’s leading authority on Conversational Intelligence, Neuro-innovation, and WE-centric Leadership. She is a best-selling author of seven business books including her newest best seller Conversational Intelligence: How Great Leaders Build Trust and Get Extraordinary Results.
Key Points

Great conversation leads to great relationships, which leads to great culture.
Level I conversations are about resistance
Level II conversations are about “wait and see“
Level III conversations are about co-creation
When we are threatened by others, cortisol can linger for 26 hours.
Children have the same capacity for conversational intelligence that adults do, but only if we have the courage to nurture their growth.

Resources Mentioned

Conversational Intelligence by Judith Glaser
Conversational Intelligence website

Activate Your Free Coaching for Leaders Membership
Get immediate access to my free, 10-day audio course, 10 Ways to Empower the People You Lead. Give me 10 minutes a day for 10 days to get the most immediate, practical actions to become a better leader. Join at CoachingforLeaders.com.
Related Episodes

CFL91: How to Listen When Someone is Venting
CFL161: How To Address Difficult Conversations
CFL177: How to Start a Conversation With Anyone

Next Episode
Murial Maignan Wilkins appears to help us discover how to improve our executive presence. She’s the co-author of the book Own the Room: Discover Your Signature Voice to Master Your Leadership Presence.
Thank You
Submit your question for consideration on the next question and answer show the first Monday of every month at http://coachingforleaders.com/feedback

Nov 14 2016

37mins

Play

Rank #12: 376: How to Become the Person You Want to Be, with James Clear

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James Clear: Atomic Habits
James Clear is an author and speaker focused on habits, decision-making, and continuous improvement. He is a regular speaker at Fortune 500 companies and his work is used by teams in the NFL, NBA, and MLB. He’s the author of the new book, Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones*.
Key Points

Goals are great for deciding what direction you want to head, but to actually get there it’s all about your systems.
Results aren’t what needs to change; the processes and habits are what need to change.
Start with the identity you want for yourself and build your habits to reinforce that identity.
Your habits are what prove your identity to yourself.
Habits are like compound interest for self-improvement.

Bonus Audio

How habits reinforce your identity

Resources Mentioned

Atomic Habits* by James Clear
James Clear on Annual Reviews

Related Episodes

Getting Things Done with David Allen (episode 184)
Create Behavior That Lasts With Marshall Goldsmith (episode 196)
The Best Way to Make New Habits Reality (episode 217)

Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

Oct 15 2018

36mins

Play

Rank #13: 237: These Coaching Questions Get Results, with Michael Bungay Stanier

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Michael Bungay Stanier: The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More, and Change the Way You Lead Forever*
Quotes
I think there are as many definitions for coaching as there are people selling coaching.
—Michael Bungay Stanier

Slow down on the advice giving, and stay curious just a little bit longer.
—Michael Bungay Stanier

That’s part of the nature of a system; as soon you start changing stuff, it starts pushing back.
—Michael Bungay Stanier

Your organization is a system, and the very nature of a system is to love its own system.
—Michael Bungay Stanier

You want people to become lazy coaches … lazy because you want the other person to be doing the work. When they’re doing the work, they’re actually unlocking their own potential … you’re helping them to learn, rather than teaching them.
—Michael Bungay Stanier

We’re all okay with saying no to the stuff we don’t really want to do, but do we have the courage and discipline to say no to the stuff we do want to do?
—Michael Bungay Stanier
Feedback

Comments, questions, or feedback for future question and answer shows: http://coachingforleaders.com/feedback
The next question and answer show is episode 239

Applications are again open for membership in the Coaching for Leaders Mastermind. Membership details and how to apply can be found at this link:

http://coachingforleaders.com/mastermind

Applications will close promptly on April 1, 2016.

Want to be featured as a member spotlight on a future episode? If so, visit http://coachingforleaders.com/spotlight

Please join my weekly leadership guide. The leadership guide is delivered to your inbox each Wednesday and includes my thoughts and recommendations on the best articles, podcasts, videos, and books to support your development between shows. It also includes a brief overview and link to the full weekly show notes.

As a bonus, when you join the weekly leadership guide, you’ll get immediate access to my readers' guide listing the 10 leadership books that will help you get better results from others, with brief summaries from me on the value of each book. Download the 11-page readers' guide and 9-minute video of these book recommendations at http://coachingforleaders.com/subscribe
Thank You
Thank you to Trishul Patel and Adam the Educator for the kind reviews on iTunes. If you would like to post a review as well, it's a huge help in the growth of the Coaching for Leaders community. If you use iTunes, just visit http://coachingforleaders.com/itunes – and thank you in advance for your support!

Mar 21 2016

42mins

Play

Rank #14: 177: How to Start a Conversation With Anyone

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Mark Sieverkropp walks through six steps that will help all of us start a conversation with anyone, anywhere.

Mark Sieverkropp
Author, How to Start a Conversation With Anyone
Mark and I were both featured by Forbes as 25 Professional Networking Experts to Watch in 2015

1. First Impressions last the longest

John Corcoran spoke in episode 169 on what we can do to recover from a bad first impression

2. Practice the type of listening that makes a difference

“...if you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener. To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions that other persons will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments.” -Dale Carnegie

3. Understand who people are by how they act

4. People like others who share their same interests

5. Do not hold your listener hostage

6. Remembering the conversation is crucial to growing the relationship

Finally, follow-up by building upon your initial conversation and showing interest

Learn more about the Networking With Purpose event being held on February 10, 2015 at 3:00 p.m. EST. You can discover more and register for the event at this affiliate link:

http://coachingforleaders.com/networkingwithpurpose

To get Mark's book, How to Start a Conversation With Anyone, use this link:

http://coachingforleaders.com/startaconversation
Feedback

Join the conversation: http://coachingforleaders.com/177
Comments, questions, or feedback for future Q&A shows: http://coachingforleaders.com/feedback
Next Q&A show is episode #178 and the topic is accountability

Please join my weekly leadership guide. The leadership guide is delivered to your inbox each Wednesday and includes my thoughts and recommendations on the best articles, podcasts, videos, and books, to support your development between shows. It also includes a brief overview and link to the full weekly show notes. If you, like me, tend to listen to podcasts while you’re on the road or exercising, this will give you an easy way to follow-up later on the links and resources we mention in every show. Thank you to the following people who joined the weekly leadership guide this past week:

Quay Kester, David Deaton, Tracey Chalmers, Vicki Bastian, Russ Vilt, Ricardo Montaño Ozuna, Fiona Adamson, Alessandro Beraldi, Dena Simoneaux, Khalil Khalek, Casey Comstock, Adrienne Wiebusch, Paul Ward, Ulana Dabbs, Michael Chamberlin, Mike Haire, David Walker, and Mark Sieverkropp.

As a bonus, when you join the weekly leadership guide, you’ll get immediate access to my guide on the 10 Leadership Books that Will Help You Get Better Results From Others. Download the 11-page reader's guide and 9-minute video of my top leadership book recommendations…plus, insight on the 2 books that I rely on weekly! Just visit http://coachingforleaders.com/subscribe

Thank you to Kenny Wheeler for the kind reviews on iTunes. If you would like to post review as well, it will be a huge help for all of us to grow the Coaching for Leaders community. If you use iTunes, just visit http://coachingforleaders.com/itunes and if you use Stitcher, please visit http://coachingforleaders.com/stitcher - and thank you in advance for your support!

Jan 26 2015

Play

Rank #15: 190: How to Improve Your Coaching Skills, with Tom Henschel

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Tom Henschel
Host, The Look & Sound of Leadership podcast and Executive Coach, Essential Communications
When it’s a development issue (or a way of thinking) it’s coaching that’s most helpful.

Tom says that coaching needs good goals, or at least one single goal over time.

Think about the goal as if it were on video — how do you want the end result to look?

“Coaching? It’s not about you.” -Tom Henschel

“The coaching process is helping someone understand, from their own point of view, why it would be in their benefit.” -Tom Henschel

Tom shared two stories from his teenage daughter Julia that helps him with coaching.

Food for thought:

Do people see coaching as part of their jobs? Do they have time for it?

To improve your coaching skills:

Let them go first.
Use open ended questions, such as, “What does that sound like to you?”
Earn the right to give advice.

Tom last appeared on these two episodes:

107: Three Steps To Soliciting Feedback with Tom Henschel
164: How to Handle a Boss Who’s a Jerk with Tom Henschel
Feedback

Comments, questions, or feedback for future Q&A shows: http://coachingforleaders.com/feedback
The next Q&A show is episode 191 on the topic of books

Please join my weekly leadership guide. The leadership guide is delivered to your inbox each Wednesday and includes my thoughts and recommendations on the best articles, podcasts, videos, and books, to support your development between shows. It also includes a brief overview and link to the full weekly show notes. If you, like me, tend to listen to podcasts while you’re on the road or exercising, this will give you an easy way to follow-up later on the links and resources we mention in every show.

As a bonus, when you join the weekly leadership guide, you’ll get immediate access to my reader’s guide listing the 10 Leadership Books that Will Help You Get Better Results From Others with brief summaries from me on the value of each book. Download the 11-page reader's guide and 9-minute video of these book recommendations…plus, insight on the 2 books that I rely on weekly! http://coachingforleaders.com/subscribe
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Apr 27 2015

45mins

Play

Rank #16: 146: Three Things To Stop Doing In Leadership

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Perspective from Steve Richardson, author of Become a Better Leader in 30 Days*, on what to stop doing in leadership.
Guest: Steve Richardson
Author, Become A Better Leader in 30 Days*

“All leaders manage, but not all managers lead.” -Steve Richardson

Three things not to do when managing people

Avoid managing by suggestion

Managers do this when they don’t want to be accountable
What do people really want from leaders?

Direct
Decisive
Avoid managing by hoping

These managers maintain a positive attitude, but don’t really know how things are going
Employees learn that managers like this want to hear only good news
Avoid managing by redoing

Some managers take on the work of employees and will re-do it
This is trap for people who were the start performers in the previous role
We mentioned episode #117: The Seven Steps You Follow To Delegate Work
“Doing something well myself is different than doing something well through other people.” -Steve Richardson

Ask: How can I help you?

The response “fine” does not necessarily mean fine
Ask the next question to find out what’s really going on

Steve's triangle of managing people: Fair, Friendly, and Firm

One of these will typically take the lead in one situation
What does this person most need right now?
It takes tension to keep them in balance
Let intuition govern what takes the lead in any given situation

What should you stop doing?

Feedback

On this topic: http://coachingforleaders.com/146
Comments, questions, or feedback: http://coachingforleaders.com/feedback
(949) 38-LEARN

Please take five minutes to complete the listener survey

Thank you to weekly update subscribers Tracey Tillott-Gray, Sal Vilardo, Christine Quackenboss, Olga Correia, Tammy Ostroski, Jeff Putsch, Sharen Kreitsch, Whitney Jacobs, Christopher Naidoo, Jo Goeppner, Yosbel Lecha, and Kelvina Burrell. You can subscribe as well at http://coachingforleaders.com/subscribe

Jun 23 2014

Play

Rank #17: 102: Seven Things To Ask The People You’ll Be Managing

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Are you taking on a role as a new manager? Do you know what to say in your first conversations with members of the team? Many new managers recognize the importance of early conversation with the people they will manage, but they don’t always know how to start those conversations. In this episode, I welcome back Bonni to review the seven questions to ask the people you’ll be managing.
Guest: Bonni Stachowiak

How did you come to work here?
Tell me what you do for the team?
What’s working on the team? What isn’t?
How does this job fit (or not) into your career objectives?
What keeps you busy outside of work? (And ask it exactly that way).
What advice do you have for me on how to best work with you?
If I ever have an issue with something you’re doing, what’s the best way to tell you?

Community Feedback
Leave an audio message now
USA: (949) 38-LEARN
feedback@coachingforleaders.com
Twitter: #CFLshow

I’ve moved the show’s RSS feed. This should not affect most listeners. However, community members on two popular networks will want to take the following action:

Windows Phone/XBox listeners:
1. Unsubscribe from the show
2. Resubscribe

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1. Unsubscribe from the show
2. Resubscribe to “Coaching for Leaders” in the directory, NOT “Coaching Skills for Leaders”

If you stop receiving the show at some point in the future, unsubscribe and resubscribe in your directory of choice, and that will solve all your issues.

The LinkedIn Citrus Challenge is still on from episode #101!
1. Connect with me on LinkedIn
2. Send me a message on LinkedIn saying, “I’m entering the contest.”

Deadline for submit for the LinkedIn Citrus Challenge is Monday, September 2, 2013

Thank you to Lucinana Prestes, Ayaan, Kodona Brown, Marie Patten, and Jozeca Lathrop for subscribing to my weekly article this past week. I publish an article each week that will give you a booster shot between shows on how to lead better by giving you actionable advice to improve your communications, human relations, or personal productivity. If you’d to receive it in your inbox, just go to coachingforleaders.com/subscribe. Plus, you’ll get instant access to my video overview and downloadable guide on ten books that will make you a better leader.

Aug 19 2013

Play

Rank #18: 128: Four Practices For Leading An Effective Meeting

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If you do these four things with consistency at the meetings you lead, you’ll get vastly better results from the investment you are making in meeting time.

Worst offenses

Trying to come up with a topic to talk about
Let's share what's going on (without any context for how/why)
Information sharing only
No agenda
Too many agenda items
People on devices
Too many meetings total

Good news! Many of us have almost complete control over how we run meetings as leaders
1. Determine if the meeting needs to be held at all

Is it for brainstorming, training that needs to be done in person, or making a decision? Yes, have the meeting.
Is it for sharing of information? No, find a better way to get the information to people.
Consider the real cost of staff time

2. Have written or understood guidelines on communication, technology, decision-making, and overall culture of your meetings

What do we do when we get off task?
How will we capture what is decided and/or next actions?
What rules will we have around the use of technology during meetings?
Is PowerPoint needed?

3. Set and send agenda in advance with the topic for discussion and end goal of the meeting, along with start and end times

If the meeting discussion drifts, call attention to it and decide on addressing or tabling
Begin and end on time (considering starting a bit after the hour or ending a bit early)

4. Have everyone walk out of the room with clear action items

Follow-up with documentation shortly thereafter
Meeting notes - mindmapping (starting point) and outlining (finishing point). I use MindNode and OmniOutliner, respectively.

What’s a best practice you’ve discovered for leading effective meetings?

Feedback on this topic:
http://coachingforleaders.com/128

Comments, questions, or feedback for the show:
http://coachingforleaders.com/feedback
(949) 38-LEARN

Thank you to Kimberly Dye, John Orlando, Chad McCallum, Daniela Abela, Jonathan Kemp, Carol Martino, Anurag Mishra, John Kramp, and Andrew Teo for subscribing to my weekly update this past week.

If this show has been valuable to you as well, please leave a written review on iTunes or Stitcher by visiting http://coachingforleaders.com/itunes or http://coachingforleaders.com/stitcher

Feb 17 2014

Play

Rank #19: 284: The Way to Stop Rescuing People From Their Problems, with Michael Bungay Stanier

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Michael Bungay Stanier: The Coaching Habit
Michael Bungay Stanier is the bestselling author of the books Do More Great Work* and The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever*. Michael and his team of facilitators help time-crunched managers coach in 10 minutes or less.
Key Points
When things get difficult, there are three roles people might fall into:

The victim
The persecutor
The rescuer

How to bust out of a victim role:

Figure out what’s really going on.
Take a deep breath.
Think, “And what else?”

How to bust out of a persecutor role:

Assume positive intent, that people are trying their best.
Ask yourself what you want in the situation, and make sure you’ve communicated it to others. Then ask the others what they want.

How to bust out of a rescuer role:

Ask the victim, “How can I help?” or “What do you want from me?”

Resources Mentioned

The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever by Michael Bungay Stanier*
Do More Great Work by Michael Bungay Stanier*
Derek Sivers: Hell Yeah

Activate Your Free Coaching for Leaders Membership
Get immediate access to my free, 10-day audio course, 10 Ways to Empower the People You Lead. Give me 10 minutes a day for 10 days to get the most immediate, practical actions to become a better leader. Join at CoachingforLeaders.com.
Related Episodes

CFL2: How to Start Coaching Someone
CFL190: How to Improve Your Coaching Skills
CFL237: These Coaching Questions Get Results

Next Episode
On the next episode, I welcome Brenda Bernstein to the show. Brenda is the author of How to Write a KILLER LinkedIn Profile* and we’ll be discussing how to make your LinkedIn profile stand out.

Feb 13 2017

48mins

Play

Rank #20: 117: How to Delegate Work Effectively

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I’ve been getting asked a lot in the past few weeks: OK, how do I delegate effectively? On today’s show, how to delegate work and the seven steps you should follow if you want to get the best results for your team and the organization.
I spoke about the broad framework for empowering others back in Episode #53: Get Results From People With Three Simple Steps

Broadly, three areas we need to consider in delegation:

Planning/expectation setting (what this show and the seven steps below are about)
Regular check-in/accountability
Consequences

The Seven Steps of Delegation:

1. What does success look like?

Time = define the deadline and major milestones
Cost = staff time, budget, and resources
Quality = what the customer (internal or external) expects the work to produce

2. Who is the right person?

Who is the best person for the job?
What kind of resources do they have?
Who do you need to develop? Think succession planning.

3. Communicate expectations

Speak in detail to the three areas from step one: Time, cost, and quality.
Put it in writing, especially if someone is new or doesn’t have lots of experience.
The amount of visibility and complexity of the project indicates how much time you’ll spend here.
Error on the side of too much communication, when in doubt.

4. Staff member plans project

They need to have ownership over their work.
Autonomy is key for engagement. See Daniel Pink's book Drive* for background on why this is critical for engagement.
If there’s a way it has to be done, get them the training on how that is done.
If not, let them come to you with the plan.

5. Review the project plan

Review to see if it meets the three outcomes you established in step #1 and communicated in step #3.
If there are major gaps, address those.
If there are minor issues, resist the temptation to make the plan better, unless asked.

6. Establish milestones

What’s going to make you comfortable as a manager?
Factors you will want to consider: size, scope, visibility, and experience level of the person.
Your goal is to hit the sweet spot between micro-management and county-club management.
No feedback is worse than negative feedback. See episode #79 for a detailed explanation from Michelle Smith from O.C. Tanner on why this is the case.

7. Provide access to resources

What budget do they need?
Who do they need to be connected with?
What internal politics do you need to help them navigate?
What equipment, rooms, resources, and lab time are necessary?
At the very least, make them aware of gaps, even if you can't address or fund every resource.

Download: The Seven Steps You Follow To Delegate Work

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Dec 02 2013

43mins

Play

462: How to Interview Better, with Bonni Stachowiak

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Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed

Bonni Stachowiak is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, a professor of business and management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, Bonni was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. She is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.

Listener Questions

  • Toni asked about the best way to deal with people who don’t want to grow.
  • Russ wanted our opinion on the best way to interview potential new hires.
  • Sami wondering about the best way to utilize personality assessments.
  • Laura asked our opinion on taking a step back in compensation for a job position she really wants.

Resources Mentioned

Related Episodes

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Apr 06 2020

34mins

Play

461: The Power of Showing Up, with Tina Payne Bryson

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Tina Payne Bryson: The Power of Showing Up

Tina Payne Bryson is a psychotherapist and the Founder/Executive Director of The Center for Connection, a multidisciplinary clinical practice, and of The Play Strong Institute, a center devoted to the study, research, and practice of play therapy through a neurodevelopment lens.

Tina is the author with Dan Siegel of two New York Times bestsellers, The Whole-Brain Child* and No Drama Discipline*, each of which has been translated into over forty languages. She’s recently released with Dan their newest book, The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired*.

In this conversation, Tina and I explore what it means to show up for kids and why it’s more than just being physically present. We discuss the distinction between being seen vs. being shamed. Plus, practical actions that parents, family members, and other caregivers can take to empower children.

Key Points

Our research and experience suggest that raising happy, healthy, flourishing kids requires parents to do just one key thing. It’s not about reading all the parenting best sellers or signing your kids up for all the right activities. You don’t even have to know exactly what you’re doing. Just show up.

  • Intensive parenting is problematic not only because of the pressure it puts on parents, but because some research suggests that all this exhausting parental striving may not be the best way to raise children.
  • Showing up is more than just being physically present.
  • Many people don’t have the advantage of relationships. They grew up in families where almost all of the attention was focused on external and surface-level experiences.
  • Let your curiosity lead you to take a deeper dive and make space and time to look and learn.
  • A child’s brain is changing and changeable.

Resources Mentioned

Related Episodes

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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

Mar 30 2020

38mins

Play

Key Mindsets in Crisis, with Bonni Stachowiak (Leading Through Crisis: Lesson 2)

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Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed

Bonni Stachowiak is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, a professor of business and management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, Bonni was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. She is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.

Key Points

Useful these leadership mindsets in crisis:

  • Your have permission to be more directive than normal — and be sure to make space for listening.
  • Acknowledge where people are right now, even it might not calibrate with where you “think” they might be.
  • Embrace a bit of the humor that comes from all of this.
  • Create useful structures for both your family and you.
  • The spontaneous interactions won’t happen as easily. Be intentional about creating the kinds of human interactions that are important right now.
  • Establish the boundaries you need to care for yourself.

Resources Mentioned

Related Episodes

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

Mar 27 2020

35mins

Play

460: The Power of Why Over How, with Gina Bianchini

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Gina Bianchini: Mighty Networks

Gina Bianchini is the Founder & CEO of Mighty Networks*. She is an expert on network effects. Mighty Networks is a pivot from the enterprise-only platform Mightybell, which powered communities for Intuit, American Express, and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.

Mighty Networks has unlocked the opportunity to elevate the rapidly growing world of creators with a purpose. Gina and Mighty Networks have been featured in Fast Company, Wired, Vanity Fair, Bloomberg, and The New York Times.

In this conversation, Gina and I discussed the importance of a big, specific mission for an organization. In addition, the necessity to stay dedicated to that mission, especially during difficult times. Plus, she remindes us of the value in bringing all stakeholders along with that mission.

Key Points

We are a master class in having a mission and deciding it is important no matter what is happening elsewhere.

Mission and Purpose

  • Mission and purpose need to be big — and be specific.
  • Make a clear distinction between “why” and “how.”
  • Engage all stakeholders with the mission, including customers, contractors, and vendors.

Resources Mentioned

Related Episodes

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Mar 23 2020

35mins

Play

Why We’re Doing This (Leading Through Crisis: Lesson 1)

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COVID-19 isn’t what we wanted, but it’s what we’ve got. There’s good work to be done. Start today with your why, or borrow mine.

Related Episode

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Mar 16 2020

13mins

Play

459: Discover Who You Are, with Hortense le Gentil

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Hortense le Gentil: Aligned

Hortense is an Executive Leadership Coach and the President and Founder of JAY Consulting. She works with C-suite executives from Fortune 500 companies, supporting them in their development and leadership by working with them on the alignment between their personal values and their professional activities.

Hortense is part of the Marshall Goldsmith’s prestigious 100 Coaches Project. She has been selected to receive a Thinkers 50 coaching award for excellence in her field. She is the author of several articles about leadership and coaching in such publications as Leader to Leader.

She is the author of the book Aligned: Connecting Your True Self with the Leader You’re Meant to Be*.

Key Points

We are often blind to these invisible lines running throughout our lives.

  • Reflecting on the role models others have admired in their lives can provide insight on what they value.
  • Fictional characters, colors, animals, tress, and even countries can also provide insight into values.
  • Wisdom from Peter Drucker: “Tell me what you value, and I might believe you. But show me the twists and turns of your life and I’ll show you what you really value.”

Resources Mentioned

Book Notes

Download my highlights from Aligned in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

Mar 16 2020

34mins

Play

458: The Way to Be More Coach-Like, with Michael Bungay Stanier

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Michael Bungay Stanier: The Advice Trap

Michael Bungay Stanier is at the forefront of shaping how organizations around the world make being coach-like an essential leadership competency. His book The Coaching Habit* is the best-selling coaching book of this century, with over 700,000 copies sold and 1,000+ five-star reviews on Amazon.

He’s the author of the new book The Advice Trap: Be Humble, Stay Curious, and Change the Way You Lead Forever*.

In this conversation, Michael and I discuss why advice is overrated and often displays poor leadership. Michael shows us how to avoid coaching ghosts and dealing with people who can’t stop talking. Plus, we explore how to keep people engaged in the conversation, become more coach-like, and qualify advice when the time is right to give it.

Key Points

Advice is overrated. Not advice itself. There’s a time and a place for good advice. The problem is the default habit of giving advice. -Michael Bungay Stanier

The Advice Trap: The more I give them advice, the more they want my advice.

Three reasons your advice doesn’t get results:

  1. You’re solving the wrong challenge.
  2. You’re proposing a mediocre solution.
  3. You’re displaying poor leadership.

Avoid coaching the ghost (the person note present) and yarning (excessive conversation that isn’t leading anywhere productive).

To keep people engaged in the conversation, use the TERA principles:

  • Tribe: Be on their side.
  • Expectation: Show them the future.
  • Rank: Raise them up.
  • Autonomy: Give them the choice.

When you do give advice, consider diminishing it with:

  • “Here’s my best guess…”
  • “I may be wrong…”
  • “This is just one idea/option/thought…”

Resources Mentioned

Book Notes

Download my highlights from The Advice Trap in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

Mar 09 2020

39mins

Play

457: When Leadership Isn’t Right and More Questions, with Bonni Stachowiak

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Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed

Bonni Stachowiak is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, a professor of business and management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, Bonni was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. She is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.

Listener Questions

  • Chris asked for ideas on changing behavior after hearing that his questions/challenges were being perceived as aggressive.
  • Steve wanted to know if there are times when you shouldn’t lead.
  • Colin asked for advice on supporting a colleague who is looking into leadership certificate programs.
  • Jill wondered how I select guests for the show.

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Mar 02 2020

38mins

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456: How to be Diplomatic, with Susan Rice

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Susan Rice: Tough Love

Susan Rice served as the United States ambassador to the United Nations during President Barack Obama’s first term in office. She was later appointed by President Obama as National Security Advisor, a position she held until the end of his presidency.

Today she is the Distinguished Visiting Research Fellow at the School of International Service at American University, a Non-Resident Senior Fellow at the Belfer Center for Science and International Affairs at Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government, and a contributing opinion writer for The New York Times.

She is the author the New York Times bestseller Tough Love: My Story of Things Worth Fighting For*. In this conversation, Susan and I discuss how her upbringing shaped her skills at mediation, the course corrections she navigated in her career to get better, and how she ensured all perspectives were heard inside President Obama’s National Security Council meetings.

Key Points

  • Susan’s early experience mediating the arguments between her parents helped her develop resilience that would be useful later.
  • It’s helpful to separate the behavior from the person. Address inappropriate behavior, and keep it in context with the larger relationship.
  • “You can get a long way leading a team, even if many members of the team don’t actually agree with the direction you’re steering towards, if they feel that their advice, perspective, recommendations have truly been heard and appreciated.”
  • When facilitating a critical meeting, ensure the principal attendees receive reading points and preparation well in advance.
  • Humor, an iron fist, or a velvet glove are all useful tools at the right times. Experience helps you determine what’s best in the moment.
  • Wisdom from Susan’s dad: “You can’t let other people define you, for you.”

Resources Mentioned

Book Notes

Download my highlights from Tough Love in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.

Feb 24 2020

39mins

Play

455: How to Create Great Relationships, with Colleen Bordeaux

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Colleen Bordeaux: Am I Doing This Right?

Colleen Bordeaux is a best-selling author, speaker and human capital consultant based in Chicago. She has been published everywhere from the Chicago Sun Times to the Huffington Post and has been endorsed by New York Times columnist and past guest Barry Schwartz and Sunday Times bestselling author Louise Parker.

Her popular blog has reached more than 200,000 readers and she leads a women’s mastermind group in Chicago. She is the author of the new book: Am I Doing This Right?: A Philosophical Guide to Life in the Age of Overwhelm*.

In this conversation, Colleen and I discuss the power of relationships — and some of the key principles for cultivating the very best relationships to support you, both professionally and personally.

Key Points

You are the same today that you are going to be in five years except for two things: the people with whom you associate, and the books you read. -Charles Jones

To be nobody but yourself in a world which does its best, day and night, to make you everyone else, is to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight and never stop fighting. -e.e. cummings

Six steps to improving the relationships you cultivate:

  1. Assess your own crab-status.
  2. Take stock of who you’re spending time with.
  3. Consider who you’re not spending time with, but want to be spending time with.
  4. Evaluate these relationships based on what you need in your life.
  5. Eliminate or manage the relationships that aren’t working to create more space for the ones you need.
  6. Create a relationship mantra (Colleen’s is below):

My relationships are the best gift I’ve been given, and they are my biggest responsibility. The primary purpose of each of my relationships is to help each other become better versions of ourselves by sharing our authentic experiences, perspectives, and gifts. I will be open to new connections, because that is a source of growth in life—and I will seek and cultivate friendships that bring me to life, and distance myself from relationships that drain me and influence me to betray my values. I aspire to have the kind of quality relationships that inspire others in how they approach developing, growing, and cultivating this important area of their lives. -Colleen Bordeaux

Resources Mentioned

Book Notes

Download my highlights from Am I Doing This Right? in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

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Feb 17 2020

37mins

Play

454: How to Ask Better Questions, with David Marquet

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David Marquet: Leadership is Language
David Marquet is the former commander of the U.S.S. Santa Fe, a nuclear-powered attack submarine. Under David’s command, the ship had an impressive turnaround, achieving the highest retention and operational standings in the Navy.

David is the author of the bestseller Turn the Ship Around: A True Story of Turning Followers Into Leaders* and has just released his new book, Leadership is Language: The Hidden Power of What You Say and What You Don’t*.

In this conversation, David and I explore the seven sins of questioning. David shares the story of the ill-fated El Faro and how we can discover better information in leadership by making the shift from self-affirming to self-educating.
Key Points
A leading question comes from a place of thinking the person is wrong, or that you have the answer. I hear this a lot from people who think they have the right answer but don’t want to use say so, so they use the Socratic method as a “teaching moment.” It’s annoying and arrogant.
Self-affirming questions are often binary questions with a special motivation: to coerce agreement and make us feel good about the decision we have already made.
Seven Ways to Ask Better Questions:

Instead of questions stacking, try one and done.
Instead of a teaching moment, try and learning moment.
Instead of a dirty question, try a clear question.
Instead of a binary question, start the question with “what” or “how.”
Instead of a “why” question, try “tell me more.”
Instead of a self-affirming question, try self-educating questions.
Instead of jumping to the future, start with the present, past, then future.

Resources Mentioned

Leadership is Language: The Hidden Power of What You Say and What You Don’t* by David Marquet
Turn the Ship Around: A True Story of Turning Followers Into Leaders* by David Marquet
David Marquet’s website

Related Episodes

Leadership Lessons from Challenger, with Allan McDonald (episode 229)
These Coaching Questions Get Results, with Michael Bungay Stanier (episode 237)
The Path of Humble Leadership, with Edgar Schein and Peter Schein (episode 363)
How to Build Psychological Safety, with Amy Edmondson (episode 404)

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Feb 10 2020

35mins

Play

453: Family Productivity, with Bonni Stachowiak

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Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed
Bonni Stachowiak is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, a professor of business and management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, Bonni was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. She is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.
Key Points

Create margin by under-scheduling family and kid commitments. Our default setting is to have a limited about scheduled on weekends.
We collaborate on schedules by using shared iCloud calendars as a family. Acuity Scheduling* supports both of us professionally in automating scheduling to ensure conflicts are rare.
We both use systems to capture ideas and activities before we decide to move on them. The Drafts app helps both of us do this quickly. Bonni keeps a “someday/maybe” list and Dave keeps an “incubation” list.
We get the kids involved with household responsibilities, so everybody learns to contribute and share daily work.
Take time to put on your leadership hat to make decisions about what’s important. Then, you can manage from there.

Resources Mentioned

The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide* by Bonni Stachowiak
Full Focus Planner* from Michael Hyatt
Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World* by David Epstein
Who Killed the Weekend? by Katrina Onstad
Kourosh Dini: Mind, Music, & Productivity
Streaks app

Related Episodes

Getting Things Done, with David Allen (episode 184)
How to Become the Person You Want to Be, with James Clear (episode 376)
Finding Joy Through Intentional Choices, with Bonni Stachowiak (episode 417)

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Feb 02 2020

39mins

Play

452: How to Motivate Leaders, with John Maxwell

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John Maxwell: The Leader’s Greatest Return
John Maxwell is a #1 New York Times bestselling author, coach, and speaker who has sold more than thirty-one million books in fifty languages. He has been identified as the #1 leader in business by the American Management Association and the most influential leadership expert in the world by Business Insider and Inc. magazine.

He is the founder of The John Maxwell Company, The John Maxwell Team, EQUIP, and the John Maxwell Leadership Foundation, organizations that have trained millions of leaders from every country of the world. He is the author of the new book The Leader’s Greatest Return: Attracting, Developing, and Multiplying Leaders*.

In this conversation, John and I discuss his work to develop leaders and the distinctions between motivating followers and motivating leaders. We also explore the seven key motivations of leaders that John has uncovered.
Key Points

Successful people have discovered what they are good at. Successful leaders discover what other people are good at.
“I didn’t have any sudden big hits early in my career. I wasn’t a home run hitter. My secret was to get up to bat every day and just try to get on base consistently.” -John Maxwell
“You can have everything in life you want if you’ll just help enough other people get what they want.” -Zig Ziglar

The Seven Motivations of Leaders:

Purpose: leaders want to do what they were created to do.
Autonomy: leaders want the freedom to control their lives.
Relationships: leaders want to do things with others.
Progress: leaders want to experience personal and professional growth.
Mastery: leaders want to excel at their work.
Recognition: leaders want others to appreciate their accomplishments.
Money: leaders want to be financially secure.

Resources Mentioned

The Leader’s Greatest Return: Attracting, Developing, and Multiplying Leaders* by John Maxwell

Book Notes
Download my highlights from The Leader’s Greatest Return in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes

Ten Steps to Create a Recognition Program, with Michelle Smith (episode 80)
Start With Why, with Simon Sinek (episode 223)
The Scientific Secrets of Daily Scheduling, with Daniel Pink (episode 332)

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Jan 27 2020

33mins

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451: How to Learn Much Faster, with Scott Young

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Scott Young: Ultralearning
Scott’s work is intended to consistently answer this question: what’s the best way to learn? This has led him to take on two year-long experiments in learning: The MIT Challenge, where he attempted to learn MIT’s 4-year computer science curriculum without taking classes, and The Year Without English, where he worked with a friend to learn four languages in one year.

Scott is the author of the new book, Ultralearning: Master Hard Skills, Outsmart the Competition, and Accelerate Your Career*. In this conversation, Scott and I discuss what ultralearners do differently, the importance of transfer in learning, and four key tactics to enhance directness.
Key Points

Transfer is critical for learning, but most formal education programs don’t address it.
“Many ultralearners who have specialized in a smaller subset of fields are masters at transfer; no doubt this is largely due to their depth of knowledge, which makes transfer easier to accomplish.”
The key to ultra learning is to enhance directness.

Four tactics for enhancing directness:

Project-based learning (producing something)
Immersive learning (such as language immersion)
Flight simulator method (like how pilots learn to fly)
Overkill approach (intentional making it harder than a real use scenario)

Book Notes
Download my highlights from Ultralearning in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes

Six Tactics for Extraordinary Performance, with Morten Hansen (episode 337)
How to Become the Person You Want to Be, with James Clear (episode 376)
Permission to Be Yourself, with Bar Schwartz (episode 414)
How to Know What You Don’t Know, with Art Markman (episode 437)

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Jan 20 2020

38mins

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450: The Way to Influence Executives, with Nancy Duarte

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Nancy Duarte: DataStory
Nancy Duarte is a communication expert who has been featured in Fortune, Time Magazine, Forbes, Fast Company, Wall Street Journal, New York Times, and many others. Her firm, Duarte, Inc., is the global leader behind some of the most influential visual messages in business and culture.

Nancy has written many best-selling books, including Slide:ology*, Resonate*, and Illuminate*. She is the author of the new book DataStory: Explain Data and Inspire Action Through Story*.

In this conversation, Nancy and I discuss the realities of executive life, how executives are measured, and why you should expect to be grilled when briefing them. With intentional preparation, you’ll be prepared to more successfully influence executives both inside the organization — and with your customers.
Key Points

“The higher their level of authority, the more structured and brief your approach should be.” -Nancy Duarte
Time is an essential asset for executives. Appreciating how much they work to maximize efficiency can help you align better with their world.
Craft a recommendation that’s brief and easily skimmable. Leave time for questions and expect to be grilled.
Executives are measured on money (revenue/profit and costs), market (market share and time to market), and exposure (retention and risk).
Know how executives plan to consume information. Tailor your message and medium to align with these preferences.

Resources Mentioned

DataStory: Explain Data and Inspire Action Through Story* by Nancy Duarte
Duarte DataStory

Book Notes
Download my highlights from DataStory in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes

Success on Presentation Day, with David Sparks (episode 159)
Ignite Change Through Storytelling, with Nancy Duarte and Patti Sanchez (episode 268)
Executive Presence with Your Elevator Speech, with Tom Henschel (episode 316)
Get Your Emails Read (Dave’s Journal)

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Jan 13 2020

39mins

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449: How to Recall What You Read, with Bonni Stachowiak

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Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed
Bonni Stachowiak is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, a professor of business and management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, Bonni was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. She joins me monthly to respond to listener questions.
Listener Questions

Susan asked for advice on some of the challenges she is facing with an aging workforce.
Nellie wondered if she should report a difficult situation before she moves onto another opportunity.
Thiaga asked how Dave manages to read lot of books and how he remembers the key message from these books.
Robert asked about the best way to position his experience as a faculty member when applying for a role as an administrator.

Resources Mentioned

Digital Reading by Bonni Stachowiak
The First 90 Days* by Michael Watkins
Big Rocks by Steven Covey

Related Episodes

How To Create A Personal Knowledge Management System, with Bonni Stachowiak (episode 129)
How to Lead a 100-Year Life, with Lynda Gratton (episode 266)
Five Steps to Hold People Accountable, with Jonathan Raymond (episode 306)
How to Make Your Work More Visible, with John Stepper (episode 397)
Help People Learn Through Powerful Teaching, with Pooja Agarwal (episode 421)

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Jan 06 2020

37mins

Play

448: The Value of Being Uncomfortable, with Neil Pasricha

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Neil Pasricha: You Are Awesome
Neil Pasricha helps people live happy lives. He is the New York Times-bestselling author of The Happiness Equation and The Book of Awesome series, which has been published in ten countries, spent over five years on bestseller lists, and sold over a million copies.

He’s a Harvard MBA, one of the most popular TED speakers of all time, and after ten years heading Leadership Development at Walmart he now serves as Director of The Institute for Global Happiness. He is the author of the new book, You Are Awesome: How to Navigate Change, Wrestle with Failure, and Live an Intentional Life.

In this conversation, Neil and I explore the importance of being uncomfortable to drive professional development. We discuss both of our journeys through mediocrity and how those times helped us to serve many more people today.
Key Points

“I know see that my anger stemmed from my deep disappointment in myself.”
“I didn’t see it then and I wouldn’t see it for at least ten years that the P&G failure helped me to get more comfortable with being uncomfortable."
“What we often think of evolution as ‘destroying and replacing’ the past is actually transcending and including.”

Resources Mentioned

You Are Awesome: How to Navigate Change, Wrestle with Failure, and Live an Intentional Life* by Neil Pasricha
Neil’s blog

Book Notes
Download my highlights from You Are Awesome in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes

Essentials of Adult Development, with Mindy Danna (episode 273)
How to Be a Happier Person, with Neil Pasricha (episode 334)
Six Tactics for Extraordinary Performance, with Morten Hansen (episode 337)
Neil Armstrong’s Other Landings (Dave’s Journal)

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Dec 30 2019

35mins

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447: Hire the Formerly Incarcerated, with Shelley Winner

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Shelley Winner: Restorative Justice
Shelley Winner is a Restorative Justice Activist whose goal is to change the world, reduce crime, and advocate for justice involved people all while helping companies improve productivity and revenues.

She is also a technology specialist, is very active in the restorative justice movement in San Francisco and wants to educate the public about the benefits of hiring the formerly incarcerated. Through her work with Winner’s Circle, she is closing the gap between soon to be released inmates and technology companies by developing and delivering training to inmates and helping technology companies create internships for justice involved individuals.

In this conversation, Shelley shares her story of moving from incarceration to successful employment in the technology industry. We highlight how some organizations are leading in this work and what the research shows about companies that are helping to unlock the formerly incarcerated workforce.
Key Points

“There isn't anyone you couldn't learn to love once you've heard their story.” -Fred Rogers
95% of people incarcerated will be released back to communities. The formerly incarcerated are five times more likely to be unemployed than the general population.
“Within organizations that have hired those with a criminal record, 82% of managers rate the value workers with a criminal record bring to the organization as similar to or greater than that of those without a record.” -Society for Human Resource Management
Be an advocate. Research what other organizations are doing on this. Begin by reading the SHRM report.

Resources Mentioned

Hiring the Formerly Incarcerated is Best for Your Team (Shelley’s TED talk)
Winner’s Circle (Shelley’s organization)
Getting Talent Back to Work by Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM)
Out of Prison & Out of Work: Unemployment Among Formerly Incarcerated People by Prison Policy Initiative
Embracing Formerly Incarcerated Workers: Things HR Should Consider by CareerMinds
Facts & Trends by The National Reentry Resource Center
Big Tech's Newest Experiment in Criminal-Justice Reform in The Atlantic
The Last Mile
JPMorgan Chase Joins Second Chance Efforts to Reduce Obstacles to Employment

Related Episodes

Sin by Silence, with Olivia Klaus (episode 103)
Leadership Lessons from the Challenger Disaster, with Allan McDonald (episode 229)
The Choice for Compassion, with Edith Eger (episode 336)
How to Get Moving, with Scott Harrison (episode 374)

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Dec 23 2019

38mins

Play

446: Four Steps to Get Training Results, with Jim Kirkpatrick

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Jim Kirkpatrick: Four Levels of Training Evaluation
Jim Kirkpatrick is co-owner of Kirkpatrick Partners. He is an expert in training evaluation and the creator of the New World Kirkpatrick Model. He trains and consults for corporate, government, military, and humanitarian organizations around the world.

Jim co-authored three books with his late father, Don Kirkpatrick, who is credited with creating the Kirkpatrick Model. He also has written four books with Wendy Kirkpatrick, including Kirkpatrick's Four Levels of Training Evaluation*.

In this conversation, Jim and I explore the details of the New World Kirkpatrick Model. Many leaders miss the critical nature of focus on level 4 (results) and level 3 (behavior). We examine these two levels in detail and show leaders how they can take practical steps to link training with results.
Key Points

Ask yourself this when considering results: “Is this what the organization exists to do, deliver, or contribute to its customers or society, at a high level?”
Level 4 (Results): The degree to which targeted outcomes occur as a result of the training and the support and accountability package.
Level 3 (Behavior): The degree to which participants apply what they learned during training when they are back on the job.
Level 2 (Learning): The degree to which participants acquire the intended knowledge, skills, attitude, confidence and commitment based on their participation in the training.
Level 1 (Reaction): The degree to which participants find the training favorable, engaging and relevant to their jobs.

Resources Mentioned

Kirkpatrick Community: Free Resources
Kirkpatrick’s Four Levels of Training Evaluation* by Jim and Wendy Kirkpatrick

Bonus Audio

Aligning Training with Business Objectives

Related Episodes

Effective Delegation of Authority, with Hassan Osman (episode 413)
Help People Learn Through Powerful Teaching, with Pooja Agarwal (episode 421)
Tie Leadership Development to Business Results, with Mark Allen (episode 435)

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Dec 16 2019

38mins

Play

445: How to Support Other Leaders, with Mindy Pankoke, Jeff VandenHoek, and Andrew Mugford

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Mindy Pankoke, Jeff VandenHoek, and Andrew Mugford
On this SaturdayCast, longtime listeners Mindy, Jeff, and Andrew join Dave to discuss how they’ve worked together to support each other in their leadership development. They share the importance of setting expectations in advance, getting external perspective, and celebrating key milestones.
Key Points

Getting people together outside of the organization/industry is helpful for objective perspective.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” -Jim Rohn
There’s the temptation to think, “What could I possibly offer?” Almost always, each person is able to offer a lot more than they expected.
Say “thank you” when someone offers something, even if you’re not sure it’s useful.
It is important to celebrate significant milestones.

Resources Mentioned

The Coaching Habit* by Michael Bungay Stanier

Related Episodes

These Coaching Questions Get Results, with Michael Bungay Stanier (episode 237)
How to Create Meaningful Gatherings, with Priya Parker (episode 395)
How to Make Your Work More Visible, with John Stepper (episode 397)

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Dec 14 2019

29mins

Play

iTunes Ratings

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Great!

By tommye w-c - Mar 17 2020
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Incredible coaching and advice for leaders!

Useful podcast

By Angscreed - Mar 09 2020
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It provides a secure and digestible way to coach self and others.