Episode 176: Castlevania 64
It's a black sheep, ugly duckling, awkward teen. It's Castlevania 64, and we use it to talk about weird sex.
16 Jan 2017
Episode 39: A Week of Garfield
Being on a weekly format, we've had to cut some corners. Syndication is tough, so in order to keep our quality consistent (if mediocre), we've farmed the creation of these shows out to a network of corporate subsidiaries. Stay tuned for the reveal of Gary and Kole alarm clocks and calendars. It's a living!
2 Jun 2014
Episode 226: Shadow the Hedgehog
We hadn't done a mainline Sonic game for Abject Suffering before, so we're happy that our first one is a doozy.
1 Jan 2018
Episode 38: Felix the Cat
Come with us to a time before sound, when dancing cats were no longer condemned as signs of witchcraft, even though they carried bags of tricks. To a time where Kole, unstuck in time, actually liked Felix the Cat at a young age. To a time when we play an amazing platformer on this show that is ostensibly about bad games.
26 May 2014
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Episode 5: J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings Volume 1
I don't remember the part of Lord of the Rings where Frodo got a sword that would turn things into skeletons... let alone, I don't think he had it in Hobbitton. But that's the least of our worries, as we try and ignore the bitchin' tunes and talk about how weird this action RPG is.
7 Mar 2013
Episode 14: Michael Jackson's Moonwalker
Michael Jackson put out a game where the objective is to collect as many children as possible. Don't worry, we make the obvious jokes as soon as possible. We continue the streak of Abject Suffering games about known sex offenders. Got any suggestions for others?
3 Jul 2013
Episode 217: American Truck Simulator
10-4 we got a bear in the hoopty stripe. Hopalong to the med-bay for some snackattacks
30 Oct 2017
Episode 107: Quest 64
Journey with us to the heart of blandness. Watch for the polygons, they're extra sharp this time of year.
21 Sep 2015
Episode 289: Beyond: Two Souls
David Cage is back on his bullshit.
18 Mar 2019
Episode 155: South Park
It's a game that will make you physically ill, and ideologically queasy!
22 Aug 2016
Episode 49: Darkwing Duck
Script Treatment: Duck Generations. EXT. -- DAY: Donald, Scrooge, Darkwing, and Jason Alexander waddle into a liquor store, shades perched precariously on their bill. Each squawks incomprehensibly, as if trying to out-fury each other. ECU on a nervous clerk's face as they flock toward the corn liquor. The streets would be rowdy.
11 Aug 2014
Episode 324: Goldeneye 007 (We Know It's Good)
Chris Khatami comes to us with an excuse to talk about Goldeneye 007. Don't tweet at us saying this shouldn't be on the show. Go to Chris' comedy festival in Portland! It's taking place the weekend after Thanksgiving. It's the Ha-Ha-Harvest Comedy Festival.
18 Nov 2019
Episode 105: The Zoo Race
Welcome to the series finale of Abject Suffering, because we'll never find anything better than this. Pack it up and turn out the lights, Cheers-style.
7 Sep 2015
Episode 37: Superman 64
Faster than a frightened cockroach. More powerful than my aversion to the sun. Able to disappoint your parents in a single loan. It's Superman 64!
19 May 2014
Episode 243: Crash Bash
They did the Crash Bash, it was a mediocre smash.
30 Apr 2018
Episode 209: Dwarf Fortress
We know this is a good game. We're just overwhelmed.
4 Sep 2017
Episode 100: Action 52
It's the 100th episode, so it only makes sense that we talk about Action 52. Numerlogically, of course. Let's consider the rippling chests of the Cheetahmen, while we record live in front of our most loyal Patreon backers.
3 Aug 2015
Episode 111: Mortal Kombat: Special Forces
Gate 1 darkness the world of demons Gate 2 my guards are watching you Gate 3 only evil lives here Gate 4 theres no way out Gate 5 feel the fire Gate 6 pick up your weapons and fight And dance with the devil
20 Oct 2015
Episode 163: Gender Bender DNA Twister Extreme
Gotta say this will be a weird one, Syrg. It's a dicey thing to talk about, hopefully we treat the subject matter with a respect that is completely lacking in the original product.Links:GBDNATE FAQ — A rundown of some of the goofier parts of the game's development.
17 Oct 2016
Episode 3: Captain Novolin
It's a dark night for the world... Mandatory Municipal Pepsi has rendered the entire population diabetic, and only one man, Captain Novolin can save us. Eat the good aliens, and avoid the bad, and hope to Christ that you have enough blood.
6 Feb 2013