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Hand in Hand Parenting: The Podcast

Updated 7 days ago

Education
Society & Culture
Government
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When children's behavior is difficult, parents need support, good information, and practical tools to reduce stress, understand their child's emotions, and build cooperation and warm connection in the family. Join Elle Kwan and Abigail Wald as they share the Hand in Hand Parenting approach with useful examples and stories from real parents like you.

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When children's behavior is difficult, parents need support, good information, and practical tools to reduce stress, understand their child's emotions, and build cooperation and warm connection in the family. Join Elle Kwan and Abigail Wald as they share the Hand in Hand Parenting approach with useful examples and stories from real parents like you.

iTunes Ratings

266 Ratings
Average Ratings
246
8
7
2
3

Excellent program but really annoying speech

By SHPolson - Feb 06 2020
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So incredibly grateful for this program. Abigail, please stop using the word “like” “you know” twenty times a sentence so I can keep listening because the content and spirit of this is so important!

Thank you

By Kiki144 - Jan 08 2020
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I googled you out of desperation as I’ve been holding anxiety in all day over our aggressive child. Your podcast brought peace to my entire body, heart and mind. So glad I found you today and will keep listening along.

iTunes Ratings

266 Ratings
Average Ratings
246
8
7
2
3

Excellent program but really annoying speech

By SHPolson - Feb 06 2020
Read more
So incredibly grateful for this program. Abigail, please stop using the word “like” “you know” twenty times a sentence so I can keep listening because the content and spirit of this is so important!

Thank you

By Kiki144 - Jan 08 2020
Read more
I googled you out of desperation as I’ve been holding anxiety in all day over our aggressive child. Your podcast brought peace to my entire body, heart and mind. So glad I found you today and will keep listening along.
Cover image of Hand in Hand Parenting: The Podcast

Hand in Hand Parenting: The Podcast

Latest release on Nov 07, 2019

The Best Episodes Ranked Using User Listens

Updated by OwlTail 7 days ago

Rank #1: Parenting a Strong-Willed Child

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You may have heard about how your tenacious, persistent, negotiating go-getter is developing the skills he or she needs to be a great leader in the future, but daily parenting a strong-willed child can feel like an uphill battle. All those constant requests, desires, energy and power play is a lot!

This week Abigail and Elle weigh in on why parenting a strong-willed child can feel so demanding and draining, and how you can raise your strong-willed child without so many power struggles - or the need to "break them."

On this week's podcast, Parenting the Strong-Willed child:

  • How an agenda won't help when you raise a strong-willed child
  • How to harness your child's enthusiasm, desire and power
  • Why these kids can also be super sensitive
  • Learn how to dance between limits and freedom
  • What to do if you disapprove of your child's nature and how to develop a mindset that helps improve things

Listen to Parenting The Strong-Willed Child now.

You might also like:

Setting limits with a strong-willed child can feel really hard - yet they do really need those limits. This article shows how you can hold a limit with a child without breaking them - and comes with a free checklist.

If parenting feels too hard you might find yourself yelling. Here's 15 ways you can stop shouting at your kids

For daily support from instructors, plus regular Q&A call-ins with them and our founder Patty Wipfler, try the Parent Club free for 30 days.

stay connected

We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at podcast@handinhandparenting.org

Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our Newsletter

Mar 05 2019

25mins

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Rank #2: How Much is Too Much? Tools to Help Children that Need Constant Attention

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How much attention does your child need?

Have you ever heard the phrase "You can't pour from an empty cup?" When we spend time with our children, do Special Time, listen and care for them, we naturally fill their cups with warmth and love. When a child has a full cup of your warmth and attention, they are less clingy. They are connected and confident.

Attention-seeking kids have "Leaky Cups"

Except for a child with a "leaky cup". These are the children that, no matter how much time, how much love and how much attention you seem to pour in STILL NEED MORE. Their cups are always leaky!

They want more of your love. More of your attention. Or else you'll know about it!

They need everything to go their way. They become rigid and controlling when it doesn't. They will whine, they will cry, they will throw themselves down on the floor in tears. They may become aggressive.

Pretty soon, life can become a riddle of trying to divide time between all you need to do, and all they need to feel good.

Exhausting? Yes.

Everlasting? No!

Tools for a Child Who Needs Lots of Attention

There are things you can do to love these kids just the way they need it, to teach them how to fill their own cups, and for you to have enough energy for your other kids, family members, and even, yourself.

If you have ever wondered:

  • How much attention is too much attention?
  • How to help my child become more confident and resilient
  • How to balance out my time and emotions in parenting
  • or just screamed (silently or otherwise) "I can't give anymore!"

Join Abigail and Elle this week for some lively banter and good solutions for attention-seeking, leaky cup kids and their families.

 

More Tools for Attention-Needing Children (and stressed-out parents!)

Read more about kids and attention-seeking behaviors in When Your Kids Will Do Anything to Get Attention

You can find out more about the Listening Partnerships that Elle and Abigail mention here Building a Listening Partnership: Easing the Stress of Parenting

Keep Connected

We’d love to hear about the issues affecting you and your family. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message. If you are familiar with Hand in Hand Parenting and your children are 10 or  under join our Hand in Hand Parents Support Group on Facebook for daily support

You can contact Abigail Wald about parenting courses and consultations at realtimeparenting.com

Sign up for our Monthly Newsletter 

May 29 2018

32mins

Play

Rank #3: How to Keep Calm When Your Kids Make You Crazy Angry

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Aggression, anger, yelling... Abigail and Elle talk about the times when parenting their kids made them crazy angry - and there are lots!

They go back to the very start of early years parenting and what set them off, right through to the cocktail of feelings that has emerged parenting tweens.

And they ask, what happens when you find yourself afraid of your feelings of rage, becoming the parent you never wanted to be?

How Can You Keep Calm When Your Kids Make You Crazy Angry

On the podcast this week, the two moms talk about the strategies they used to find calm and repair when anger set in.

  • Tapping out
  • Walking away
  • Unwiring destructive thoughts
  • Marking our boundaries as parents
  • Deeper work: Where and how to get support with others
  • The power of using "battery out," "mommy puddles," and "safe words" when we are angry with children.

If you'd like to take down your yelling, feel less angry and more connected to your kids, join us and listen.

Support for Keeping Calm When Parenting Makes You Feel Angry

Discover how Hand in Hand Parenting's Listening Partnerships can help you calm your parent anger and find out how you can work one-on-one with a Hand in Hand Instructor

Grab the last spot in Abigail's 30-Day Family Reset! 

Get more tips: Taming Parent Tantrums: 8 Keys to Quieting the Storm

Join the Hand in Hand Community

We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message

Sign up for our Monthly Newsletter 

Mar 20 2018

29mins

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Rank #4: Raising Boys and Girls Differently According to Brain Science

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Today Elle and Abigail are talking to New York Times bestselling author, neuro-biologist and family counselor Michael Gurian. We're talking boys, girls and their differences, and raising boys and girls so each thrives.

All over the world boys in schools are failing and girls are succeeding, why?

Why Boys Need Special Attention

On the podcast today, Michael sheds some light.

Known as "the people's philosopher," he breaks down the fascinating differences in how boys and girls brains process information, and what boys need more of in class.

Michael addresses the commonly distorted gender paradigms that we as a society have come to believe about what boys and girls need and shares practical strategies to set girls up to do better in STEM subjects and boys to excel in reading, writing and speaking.

We also take a look at how Michael's work with The Gurian Institue dovetails into Hand in Hand Parenting through playlistening, roughhousing and Staylistening.

On today's episode:
  • The four elements of difference between males and females
  • How boys and girls process information differently and why schools need to teach according to these brain differences to help both sexes
  • Why schools need to move away from verbal-centered teaching towards styles that activate the brain's visual and spatial-kinesthetic centers
  • Mother's raising boys: What male emotional intelligence looks like

Join us for a fascinating talk into raising our boys and girls to thrive.

More Tools and Support for Raising Our Children According to Science

You can read more about Michael and his work at www.michaelgurian.com and The Gurian Institute.

The two books mentioned in this podcast are Saving Our Sons: A New Path for Raising Healthy and Resilient Boys and The Minds of Girls: A New Path for Raising Healthy, Resilient, and Successful Women

You might also like to read the science behind the Hand in Hand Tool of Staylistening and if you'd like to find out about all of our five tools you can read our book Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges or take the Hand in Hand Starter Class online or in-person with an instructor over 6 weeks.

keep connected

We’d love to hear about the issues affecting you and your family. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message

You can contact Abigail Wald about parenting courses and consultations at realtimeparenting.com

Sign up for our Monthly Newsletter 

May 15 2018

47mins

Play

Rank #5: Children's Aggressive Behavior Comes Down to this One Thing

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Hitting? Pinching? Kicking?

Most children act aggressively but it can be very tough to see and understand.

When a child is aggressive our instinct is often to shut it down - "Don’t hit," we say, or "I don’t want to hear those things."

Looking at A Child's Aggressive Behavior in a New Way

While we can and should set limits about the behavior, what happens if we can listen to what that behavior is telling us?

In this episode, Abigail tells about a time her son genuinely scared her with his aggression and how they worked through it. She discovered a root cause actually stemming from his reputation as a “good guy.”

And Elle talks about the differences in her two children’s aggression - and her own - as well as how difficult it can be coping with regular aggressive episodes.

We talk about the one emotion that results in aggression, and how you can respond in a way that supports your child's development.

If you are seeing aggression in your house, and want to understand what drives it, this episode is for you. Aggression is tough to see, harder to talk about, and is one part of parenting that deserves the biggest support.

parents resources

Packed with resources for supporting yourself and your child through aggressive behavior: Get your Guide for Helping Your Child with Aggressive Behavior

This is the self-guided course Elle mentioned that will help you understand the root causes of aggression. Take Helping Your Child with Aggression and get solutions to  support aggressive behavior in your house.

Get information about Abigail's webinar on Tech and Tweens and sign up!

keep connected

We’d love to hear about the issues affecting you and your family. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message

You can contact Abigail Wald about parenting courses and consultations at realtimeparenting.com

Sign up for Hand in Hand Parenting's Monthly Newsletter for more tools, tips and support

Mar 06 2018

26mins

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Rank #6: Sibling Rivalry: Abigail and Elle Talk Soothing Sibling Battles with Evie Granville

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This week we're replaying a wonderful podcast we recorded on sibling rivalry with Evie Granville of Modern Manners for Moms and Dads.

Join us as we decode what's driving the behaviors between Evie's two children, and share with here how to approach Sibling Rivalry from a Hand in Hand approach.

On this special guest podcast, you'll learn:
  • What to do when your kids won’t share
  • How to handle aggressive behaviors
  • And ways to prevent sibling rivalry before it even starts

Listen in to lots of anecdotes and real-life situations about brothers and sisters, battles and squabbles, love and connection in this episode!

More Resources for Easing Sibling Rivalry

This bumper guide to sibling rivalry has many solutions to help ease battles between siblings: A Hand in Hand Guide to Sibling Rivalry and if you want to add in a little humour, try these 15 Playful Ways to Solve Sibling Rivalry

And here is the link to our podcast on Brain Science that Abigail talks about.

Go to http://www.evieandsarah.com/ to listen to more of Evie's podcasts. 

Jul 30 2018

46mins

Play

Rank #7: My Child is Hitting: Parenting The Problem, Not the Punch

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What should I do when my child hits? 

It's one of the most common questions we get at Hand in Hand Parenting, and it's the content of this week's podcast. And no wonder. Hitting can feel dangerous. Offensive. Confusing.

But if hitting is so common, why are we all still wondering what to do about it?

There's so much differing advice!

What Are Children Really Saying When They Hit?

Abigail talks about all the quick-tip strategies out there and why they might work at first but why so often they fail in the long-term.

We look at what children might be communicating through hitting, whether it's a (somewhat misguided) attempt at play or as an expression as deep-rooted fear, and Elle admits completely misreading some of her child's hitting behaviors. 

Understanding Hitting and other Defiant Behavior

And although we don't encourage hitting, we talk about why parenting the punch itself doesn't actually ease the problem but instead pushes the feelings causing a child to hit to one side. They may disappear for now, but they (and the hitting) will soon be back again. 

So, we talk about what parenting the problem and not the punch actually means:

  • Get wise to why your child hits and how to respond accordingly
  • How to keep protected and still lean into the hitting
  • How hitting can offer room for growth and connection as you partner with your child and move past hitting

Listen to Hitting: Parent the Problem, Not The Punch and learn to set limits around hitting and respond in the way your child really needs you to. Because if you truly want to solve your child's hitting, you have to do the least obvious thing first - accept it. 

More Resources For Parenting When Your Child Hits

Elle mentioned the post When Your Toddler Hits You in this episode. Read it to discover more about this new perspective around hitting.

We did a podcast with play expert Lawrence Cohen on aggressive play, how to manage it so that it helps reduce a child's aggressive behaviors. Listen to it here.

Learn how to lean into the first stages of aggression with a vigorous snuggle.

You might also like this article on partnering with your child which is what we are really talking about in this podcast,

keep connected

We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at podcast@handinhandparenting.org

Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our Newsletter

Register for Abigail's 30-day re-set here and learn more about Hand in Hand's monthly membership

Dec 12 2018

24mins

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Rank #8: Tips and Tools for Tackling Transitions

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One thing we hear a ton about in parenting is transitions - partly because they can be so draining and deafening!

This week Abigail and Elle are tackling transitions and what we can do to make them smoother.

Top Tools for Tackling Transitions

We're talking games and other connection tools you can use to help navigate your days in and out with less yelling and less tantrums.

And we look at what's going on for a child when we, as the parents, require a transition, and why they seem to have such BIG FEELINGS about them. Why do children have trouble putting the brakes on and changing gears?

If transitions bring on battles and tantrums in your house

  • Before an outing
  • At dinnertime
  • Before Bed

Or any other time, join Abigail and Elle for tools and tips that will help you decode your children's difficult behaviors and tackle transitions.

Resources to Help With Transitions

Here's your guide to playful parenting through any challenge 

Enjoy this chapter about the wonderful tool of Special Time from our book

Keep Connected

We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message

Sign up for our Monthly Newsletter 

Apr 30 2018

35mins

Play

Rank #9: Do You Know the Best Way Out of Parent Anger?

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What gets you super seething mama mad?

Is it the constant asks and requests, the “Mom where’s my… that’s so overwhelming?

Maybe it’s the piles of toys and dishes and chip packets you asked to be tidied but are still smirking at you from the living room?

Maybe it’s the stubbornness and defiance your child shows when you ask them to take a bath after giving them a wonderful day out?

At least, you think it’s that the cause of all your parent anger!

But what if that's not really it at all?

What if the source of your rage is connected to the limits you are setting. Or, more correctly, not setting?

What does parent anger have to do with setting limits, anyway?

This week on the podcast we’re sharing what behaviors make us blow and figuring out why. We show you how why, when you peel back the layers of feelings tightly packing your parent anger, you might well find a mama who was too exhausted, too overwhelmed, or too oblivious to set limits with her kids.

And we talk about why not setting limits leads to rupture. 

Do you know the best way out of Parent Anger?

This week, we're talking:

  • How to start identifying your triggers and trace the source of your dissatisfaction
  • Why setting limits (or not setting them) leads to arguments and rage
  • What your parent anger can teach you, and how to recover from it
  • The power of frontloading to keep your family on track and running without disruption
  • Why good limits begin with getting clear on your values
  • Abigail also shares two good tips for getting good “anti-rage” systems in place

Join us on the podcast this week for Do you know the best way out of Parent Anger?

Listen now:

Abigail and Elle are Taking A Break 

We’re nine episodes away from 100! And while we love and appreciate the chance to connect with you weekly, we also need to set some limits - with our own schedules.

We’ll be taking a bit of a break after episode 100, and we'd love to ask you a favor!

How Have Things Changed?

We want to feature your voices in episode 100. If you want to be included leave us a message.

All you need to do is to include these three things:

  • Your name or pseudonym
  • Where you are from
  • And answer, “What has this podcast done for your parenting?”

You can also call:  818-643-1714

And if you can’t call, email Abigail and Elle at podcast@handinhandparenting.org

More support for Parent Anger:

These five ideas and wonderful in times of parent meltdown: Crazy Mad: Five Ways To Ward off Parent Anger

Listening Partnerships are THEY BEST way to offload anger and examine your triggers. We also use them to explore our parenting values. Download this free guide to Listening Partnerships to get some set up.

For daily answers to your parenting questions join our wonderful free community. Join Parents Connect

What Could We Do Better?

While we’re rebooting, share your ideas! Please let us know how we can do better, and what parenting topics you’d most like for us to cover in future episodes at podcast@handinhandparenting.org

Stay connected

We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at podcast@handinhandparenting.org

Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our newsletter

Aug 21 2019

39mins

Play

Rank #10: Setting Limits: The Hard No

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You know about setting warm limits: Moving in calmly when you need to stop a behavior, but what happens when it feels like there is no chance to keep calm?

Like, your child is about to stick their finger in the power socket. Or dashes out across a busy street. Then how do you set a warm limit then?

On the podcast this week, we talk about the Hard No. And why no is hard! When no means no - and those times you aren't even sure your no needs to be hard.

  • Discover how Abigail handles a hard - and fast - no when there is no doubt a quick, firm limit needs to be set.
  • How to evaluate if a no needs to be hard.
  • What happens when your no is hard and then you realise it doesn't need to be.

Join us this week for Setting Limits: The Hard No, and figure out how to stay firm and keep cool.

For more resources on Setting Limits, try these:

Do you know what or why you are setting a limit? It can really help to know. Here's four limits kids need and why to set them.

Read Abigail's post about how to connect before you set limits in One thing to do Before Setting Limits

Want more on Setting Limits? There's 3 days left of our Setting Limits challenge. You get daily ideas for setting limits plus access to our online class on the weekend. You can join here.

Stay connected

We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at podcast@handinhandparenting.org

Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our Newsletter

Apr 10 2019

28mins

Play

Rank #11: Beat Off-Track Behavior with this Secret Ninja Parenting Tool

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This week on the podcast Abigail introduces a counter-intuitive ninja parenting tool!

We talk about how offtrack behavior looks early on, what it signals, and why this tool responds where reasoning doesn't.

Both hosts talk about the times they've used this tool with successful outcomes, even though it feels completely counter-intuitive at first.

Please drop by and listen in if you:
  • Have a hard time curbing your child's whining or unwanted behavior
  • Are bored of yelling, bribing and offering consequences that don't work
  • Would like a tool that works even when your child gets aggressive

If you are struggling to handle a child's aggressive behavior, this video series will help - with plenty of wisdom and practical, accessible tools to learn why it happens and what you can do. Get Video Tips To Help Stop Your Child's Aggressive Behavior

Get in Touch!

We’d love to hear about the issues affecting you and your family. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Elle and Abigail would love.

You can contact Abigail Wald about parenting courses and consultations at realtimeparenting.com

Sign up for our Monthly Newsletter 

Dec 12 2017

20mins

Play

Rank #12: Handling Parenting Stress: Why You Can't Give What You Didn't Have

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No matter how well we try and prepare for parenting, this role does lots to point out what feel like failings. We might not be able to comfort our kids as we imagined we would, we might find ourselves yelling, or stressed and in moments of complete overwhelm.

This happens to all of us from time to time. Even child therapists, teachers and nannies and child carers can find themselves lost in handling their parenting challenges with their own kids.

This week on the podcast Elle and Abigail talk about why.

Why You Don't Always Have the Right Map

And the answer is simple: You can't give what you didn't have.

When we butt up against something in our parenting it's most often because there are gaps from our own childhoods when it comes to that challenge.

If you weren't allowed to cry, how can you know how to listen well when your child cries. If your parents were permissive, how can you set effective limits? If your parents shouted at you, how do you learn how not to yell, even when you really want to?

Finding new ways to handle these challenges can feel incredibly hard when you have no past reference to get you there. No guide, no roadmap, no community, no support.

Why You Can't Give What You Just Didn't Have: Finding and Filling the Gaps

This week, Elle and Abigail tell stories about the gaps they found in their parenting and they show you how you can pinpoint what you didn't get in your childhood and how to change it.

Because if there's one thing we do know, once you parent the way want, intentionally, you imprint a whole new set of skills to your children to use in life and as parents. 

If you have stressors in your parenting and aren't sure how to find new, workable ways to deal with them join us this week talking about why you can't give what you didn't have.

Find Your Parenting Village Online

It goes without saying that our website is chock-full of resources for learning new ways and leaning into them. Please use search to get tips on just about any parenting challenge. 

Here is some great information on Listening Time and Partnerships:

Welcome to the Club!

And here is everything you need to know about finding your online village with the Hand in Hand Parent Club.

With private group moderated by instructors, weekly call-in live sessions and a lively community you can get the support you need every month to be the parent you want to be.

Opening June 19th, 2018.

Get your Special Introductory Price.

Keep Connected

We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message

Sign up for our Monthly Newsletter 

You can listen to this episode and every episode on iTunes. Don’t forget to subscribe!

Jun 12 2018

23mins

Play

Rank #13: Why is my Child So Angry?

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This week Abigail and Elle respond to a mom who is Staylistening to her child, but never sees tears. Worse, it seems to her that the more she leans in to listen to her child's feelings, the more her child gets angry, starts scowling and tries running away. How can she listen to anger?

So, this week we're asking if Staylistening should always result in a cry, and if not, what can we do? Why we as parents find it so hard to listen to a child's anger, and how can we trust them to do as they need with their feelings.

Join us this week if you've ever felt like you've "failed" at Staylistening, or it doesn't look in your house how you expected or thought it would - we have soothing news for you. 

Get More Resources for Parenting an Angry Child

Sometimes all an angry child needs if for you to listen. Read Getting from Angry to Happy in 20 Minutes or Less

Listen to this next - we talk more about Staylistening in this podcast: When Staylistening Doesn't Go As Planned

Get the e-book Reaching For Your Angry Child

Here's a free cheatsheet about everything we covered today around Staylistening. You can download it here.

Get community, get support, get listening partnerships, everyday – in The Parent Club. Try it free for 30 days.

keep connected

We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at podcast@handinhandparenting.org

Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our Newsletter

Feb 12 2019

22mins

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Rank #14: Bedtime: Handling "Go To Bed" Battles

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Teeth-brushing, clothes changing and bathtime refusals, followed by endless requests for drinks, food, and "one more story." Yes, this week Elle and Abigail are talking sleep... or why kids don't want to!

Abigail admits to her own bedtime battles. She got so tangled up in her kids "needing to sleep," that she lost it time and time again when they refused until she reframed their pleas.

Tools for a Bedtime Transition

The two moms share tools parents can use to overcome these challenges, including Elle's current favorite, "The Squishes," before talking about handling that tug most of us get: Wanting our "own" time at night, as our kids ramp up desire to be with us.

How to Turn Bedtime Battles into A Time for Connection

Listen to the podcast and find out

  • How to lean-in to bedtime even when you are busy
  • How to interpret what your child is saying when he says "I won't go to bed"
  • Fun ways to connect at bedtime

Download a bedtime games cheat sheet to help you all laugh away the tensions of the day before dream time.

If you want to read up on some fun ways to play at bedtime read The Benefits of Laughter at Bedtime

Get in Touch!

We’d love to hear about the issues affecting you and your family. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message.

You can contact Abigail Wald about parenting courses and consultations at realtimeparenting.com

Sign up for our Monthly Newsletter 

You can listen to this episode and every episode on iTunes. Don’t forget to subscribe!

Nov 27 2017

25mins

Play

Rank #15: Why Does my Child Only Listen When I Lose It?

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This week Abigail and Elle respond to a mom who feels like she sees power struggles, aggression and kickback when she's parenting the way she wants to, and compliance only once she gets mad.

Are her efforts to parent kindly back-firing? And why would that be?

On the podcast this week we talk about:

  • What to expect when parenting with respect
  • Setting boundaries on your own levels of calm
  • Comparison parenting and why no way is the perfect way
  • What power struggles actually mean, and working on embracing them as a win not a loss.

Join us if you've ever felt like your efforts at being an empathetic parent are lost on your child and learn why that definitely is not what is happening!

More Resources on Mean Words and Mean Moms

This article on how kids acquire bad words and re-use them is very insightful. Read Bad Words from Good Kids.

"Mean mom," comments can be very triggering. Here's how instructor Irina handles it step-by-step. My Child Calls Me Mean Mom. What Should I Do?

Stay connected

We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at podcast@handinhandparenting.org

Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our newsletter

Apr 12 2019

17mins

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Rank #16: The Most Important Question To Ask When Your Child's Behavior Gets Hard

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Did you ever think you got this parenting thing figured out only to find your child brings home some new parenting challenge?

  • Maybe they start shouting potty words at you, seemingly from nowhere?
  • Maybe they start throwing punches when normally they'd been fairly calm?
  • Or maybe things simple things that you ask them do suddenly brings on meltdowns, where before they'd do it without a struggle?

Where did the child you thought you knew so well go to?

In the quest to find solutions to this sudden new and disagreeable behavior, you head to friends to compare notes, you hit Google for answers, or you even seek the services of a professional.

After all, you want those words to stop, that aggression to fade, that resistance to disappear.

But what if you started with "Why?"

Why is your child so fascinated with hurtful words right now? Why does he or she have so much tension the only thing that angry words or angry actions seem to have become a default reaction? Why is having to hang a schoolbag so difficult now when just a few months ago it was a no-brainer?

Why?

This week Abigail and Elle respond to a mom who found surprising answers when she stopped asking her four-year-old to quit yelling and instead asked herself why the yelling was happening at all.

We highlight the gorgeous ways this mom used the Hand in Hand Parenting tools to delve deeper, and the beautiful way her daughter opened up and let her mom support her through what turned out to be some very difficult moments in her school life.

Listen to "Why?" is Your Most Important Question When Kids' Behavior Gets Hard and learn how to ask why effectively when you want to bring change.

For daily support from instructors, plus regular Q&A call-ins with them and our founder Patty Wipfler, try the Parent Club free for 30 days.

stay connected

We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at podcast@handinhandparenting.org

Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our Newsletter

Feb 26 2019

17mins

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Rank #17: Happier Parenting: Why Owning Your Parenting is Key

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Have you ever woken up in the morning and vowed to yourself that you are going to make it A GREAT DAY? And then, 10 minutes later, your kids are bickering over who got the best bowl, homework is missing, and you can't find your purse?

And it's like, seriously?!! What happened?

And it continues like that, on a downward spiral, all through the day.

Worrying about getting to school on time, sniping at your children who are sniping at each other, bribing a kid to take a class, threatening a kid to EAT SOMETHING, yelling at a kid to get IN THE SHOWER.

Forget happier, peaceful, supportive parenting! At this point, you don't much like your kids. You don't like the way you handled things so you don't even like yourself. There doesn't feel much to be happy about!

And then you get into bed and wonder - how am I going to face all that again tomorrow?

The Key to Happier Parenting Is This...

But what if you could change that? What if you could go to bed content in being the parent you are, confident in the decisions you made.

Happier, because you own your parenting?

That's what we're talking about on the podcast today. Owning your parenting means making decisions based on your own family's needs, and feeling empowered not powerless when moments get sticky.

Owning your parenting means, ultimately, being a happier parent and in this episode, Elle and Abigail talk about how to get to that point.

We find out:

  • How false expectations can wreck our parenting experience
  • How to love the kids you have not the kid you wanted
  • How to feel happier about yourself as a parent even when things don't go as planned
  • Getting past the "I shoulds," "I coulds," and "I bet other people are..." comparison parenting

Parenting is tough, but when we can own parenting, we can remain strong, sure and secure when our kids put us through our paces.

And when we own our parenting, we can love them fiercely, no matter what.

What could be happier than that?

More resources on Happier Parenting

Hand in Hand Parenting isn't a one size fits all approach. Instead, the five tools can be used and adapted for all of your parenting challenges as you need them. Read more about them here in Learn Five Tools That Will Transform The Way You Parent In One Week

The book Listen: Five Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges is available now in paperbackebook or audio and lists hundreds of ways real-life parents use the tools.

Listen to a section of the audiobook here

Read What if Parenting Is an Emotional Practice?

keep connected

We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. 

Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message about challenges you might be facing in your parenting.

Sign up for our Monthly Newsletter 

Wish parenting was less stressful?

Join Hand in Hand’s Parent Club for support and community.

Aug 28 2018

25mins

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Rank #18: How To Get A Defiant Child Moving When You Have to Be Somewhere

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You just dropped one child at his playdate. Now you have 15 minutes to scoot across to the pool for your younger kid's swim lesson. Easy, right? Actually no. Your child is refusing to scoot. He doesn't want to put on his swim clothes. He won't go to the pool. "I HATE swim class," he yells defiantly. Why Reasoning Won't Work Oh, and when you tried reasoning? He kicked his scooter across the car park and laid flat on the tarmac. He isn't going anywhere. How Do You Set Limits WIth A Defiant Child? If you are using the Hand in Hand Tools you know that a child's defiance shows they are having a hard time. You also know that one of the best ways to work through this is by letting your defiant child work through their anger and frustration. Staylistening through their upset works great—when you have time. But What Happens When You Don't Have Time? Right now the clock ticking in your head sounds like a bomb waiting to explode. Your indecision on how to move forward mounts with every second that passes. You notice passersby eyeing up your situation, and you're ready to blow. Do you: A: Sit and listen to your child's outburst, and watch the clock tick past the start of the swim lesson. B: Pack your defiant child under one arm and the scooter under another and march over to the pool. C: Announce that class is off and suggest getting an ice-cream instead. You'll tackle this some other time. Surprise! None of these are right. And none of them are wrong! Today on the podcast we share ideas and tools that will help you decide how to respond when your child gets defiant and simply says "No." Listen in for: - Surefire strategies to prevent these stands-offs from happening in the first place - Why every limit you give your child is actually multiple limits bound together as one and how to unravel them - How to get clear on limits you want to hold and those you can let slip away - What to do when you absolutely, really, definitely need your child do something and they are defiant in saying no STAY CONNECTED We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges.;Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at podcast@handinhandparenting.org

Jul 23 2019

28mins

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Rank #19: 3 Smart, Sensitive Ways to Respond to Your Child's Anxiety

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“Mom, I can’t go to camp today. I have a stomachache.”

This is the third time this week your child has complained of a sore stomach, and yet she shows no other symptoms of being unwell.

You wonder…is something else going on under the radar?

  • Does your child complain of stomachaches?
  • Does she get tearful or angry regularly, refuse to go places or try new things?
  • Does your child worry a lot, gets obsessive or compulsive? Does he or she act clingy or have trouble sleeping?

Or, do you see all of these?

what are the signs my child is anxious?

Child anxiety is on the rise, but even if your child has not been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, all children have anxious moments. And what can look like defiance or stubbornness can indicate your child is feeling anxious.

Reading the signs and responding to them with actionable strategies can help a child shake off anxiety and emerge stronger and more resilient.

try these 3 ideas to flip your child’s anxiousness

On this episode of the Hand in Hand podcast, we look at the causes and signs of child anxiety, and Abigail shares three really useful flips you can use to turn your child's anxious behavior around. You'll share new insights and mindshifts that will point your child towards strength and confidence.

Listen now. 

More on How the Hand in Hand Tools Work with trauma

You can learn more about the therapeutic benefits of using Hand in Hand Parenting here. Get download.

Become Mother-Flipping-Awesome!

Join Abigail’s rocking new community and be mother-flipping-awesome. Go here to get registered now.

Stay connected

We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at podcast@handinhandparenting.org

Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our newsletter

Jul 03 2019

27mins

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Rank #20: Kids and the Art of Travelling With Them

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Packing Schedules Meltdowns New foods, new people, new places, new things

Traveling with kids brings a whole suitcase full of the unexpected!

It's easy to forget how special traveling with kids can be, amid the chaos and confusion of going away, so much so it can feel easier to say "we'll just stay at home."

Yet it's these times away that can prove so special. They can really come to shape a family and bring parents and kids so much closer.

So how can parents prepare for traveling with their children?

Listen to: Kids and the Art of Traveling With Them

This week on the podcast Elle and Abigail talk about practical tools and strategies you can use with your kids before going away and while you are on the road.

From helping children express their big feelings about traveling to what to do about parent judgment, Abigail and Elle talk about the big causes of upset when families travel and how to handle them smoothly.

If you are venturing beyond the front doorstep even once this summer, we hope this podcast will be useful.

More Resources for Kids and The Art of Traveling With Them

This article explains why kids lose it when they are having a good time offers an insightful way to approach upsets on holidays Why Does My Kid Lose it When We Are Having the Best Time

And here's a great idea for Keeping Connections Strong on Vacation

keep connected

We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message

Sign up for our Monthly Newsletter 

You can listen to this episode and every episode on iTunes. Don’t forget to subscribe!

Jun 19 2018

27mins

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