What's healthy when it comes to sexual intimacy in marriage? This episode is definitely not for little ears, a warning to those parents who might not want their kids to hear an honest and frank discussion about sex. I've got Dave Willis on the show and we don't shy away from anything when discussion sexual intimacy.

Do you ever get into conflict? I’m in conflict every other day with my wife! And we help couples for a living! Today you are going to discover, possibly, the most important thing about resolving conflict…and you don’t know about it! But no longer, we are going to reveal this truth as we unpack resolving conflict as a couple.
If you are going to resolve conflict, you have to have structure!LOVE Talk stands for Listen-Own-Validate-Express

This isn't just another top 10 list! In fact, the first thing on the list is something my father shared with me before I got married, and let me tell you, he was right!  Amy joins me once again to have an honest conversation about how to experience the best sex of your life!  

In today's show, we give you the top 10 things a husband can do to get his wife excited about sex.  You'll be surprised by some of them, but there's something important we discuss that every man better know!

Today is a special day because I got to interview Seth and Melanie Studley! They have the Anatomy of Marriage Podcast that is a huge success! They share things you just don't normally hear from a couple, especially where one of them is a licensed marriage and family therapist! Don't miss out on this episode.  It's a new take on couples therapy and relationship advice.  “This is the podcast that we wish we could have had 9 years ago when our marriage was falling apart!”  Seth & Melanie Studley

I just received this question and it jumped right off the page at me!

“Is oral sex something that is OK with the Lord, and, is it ok to dress up in a little nurse costume, or such.

I know this sounds so crazy, but I am about to go out of my mind needing to know the answers to this question! We have two boys coming up and I want them to have the best life possible in the Lord………these questions are just not talked about enough!

Thank you for your time and answer. May God richly bless you and all of your family!

MICHAEL: I hate couples who miss out on the joy of sex with each other because they think there are some dos and don’ts—mainly developed through misconceptions.

AMY: That’s right. As married couples, we should be the most open with one another.

MICHAEL: But I just have to hear it from a female. Do you think oral sex is okay?

AMY: I truly do think it’s okay. Within the confines of the relationship, I do. We are one man and one woman, and we are exploring each other’s bodies. We are created for each other’s pleasure. And part of that is oral sex.

MICHAEL: Absolutely. So, there is nothing wrong with it.

But it is okay, again, as long as you are enjoying each other sexually, exploring, coming up with new ideas for each other, and you are both on board. Once sex becomes a deal about me and what I want, and I don’t care what your opinion is or whether you are comfortable or not, then we have a problem.

Here's a special treat! From the video archives here at Smalley Institute, we give you my father's session from Hidden Keys to Loving Lasting Relationships...discovering the value of your personality!

Sign up today for the free Smalley animal personality online course! Here's what you receive:

https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/offers/hg4XtVwE

1. Free online assessment of the Smalley Animal Personality Test (Lion, Otter, Golden Retriever, Beaver)
2. Classic video from Dr. Gary Smalley on discovering the value of your personality
3. In-depth lesson content to help you better understand each other
4. The personality relationship dynamic report where you can discover key issues for every conceivable personality match
5. And it's all free!

Today we take two of your questions, the first one is a voicemail hotline question from Matt who wants to know how to talk about his current separation and trying to get a plan together with this estranged wife. The second question came through our website and this wife wants to know how to deal with a spouse who has a serious mental disorder like Bipolar with sociopathic tendencies.

BOOK US FOR A COMEDY NIGHT OR RELATIONSHIP EVENT

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It’s Friday, which means we get to handle one of your questions! Today is a rarely talked about issue that researchers say impact an estimated 20% of couples. Esther from California asked us to do a show about low sex drive, but she wants to know about the husbands who struggle with a low desire for sex. We learn why this might be happening and more importantly, what to do about it. For the Distraction of the Day: Which two groups of people would be the most unlikely groups to serve soup together for the homeless?

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Well, "cough" today uh, hello podcast listeners. Today we’re gonna talk about something, you know, we’re gonna talk about uhhhhhhh... Amy Smalley interrupts, “We’re gonna talk about why women struggle with sex.”

Yup. That’s what we’re doing, so ya.

And then for the distraction of the day, there’s something you can do with cows but it costs $300 an hour. You’ll find out at the end if Amy is open to it.

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Maya Angelou once wrote, “I don't trust people who don't love themselves and tell me, 'I love you.' ... There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.” Today we explore the anatomy of trust with Dr. Brené Brown...sort of!

SPECIAL OFFER: You can build a better relationship in 2019 with this special online experience for only $2 - https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/offers/osBonM5o

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Today we are talking about sex, possibly one of the greatest gifts outside of eternal life God ever gave humankind! To help us with this conversation, Dave Willis of strongermarriages.com, is going to lend his expertise...and trust me, this guy has millions of readers, likes, and more.

Coming up next we talk about the 4 things every couple needs to know about sex.

About Dave and Ashley Willis (www.strongermarriages.com)
Almost 1 million likes on their Facebook page!
https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriages/Millions of readers on their blogPastor at Stevens Creek Church near Augusta, GeorgiaAuthors of The 7 Day Marriage Challenge (Husband edition and Wife edition)
4 things every couple needs to know about sex
Where do you come up with all this great content?Who was your inspiration to get into marriage ministry?What’s the worst fight you and Ashley have had?Most MEN see sex as a form of stress relief while most WOMEN need stress relief BEFORE they can be in mindset to make love.Deeper TRANSPARENCY outside the bedroom leads to deeper INTIMACY inside the bedroom.Keep your FANTASIES focused on each other. Don’t just be PHYSICALLY monogamous; be MENTALLY monogamous too.Don’t forget to have FUN!

The health of your emotional relationship

If you don’t feel loved, you don’t want to show love

The specific things you are doing to kill your sexual intimacy

Invalidation

How you respond to your spouse matters.

Lack of affirmation

Negative beliefs

Here’s how you eliminate them

Invalidation

Start to validate each other

Empathize

Lack of affirmation

Make a list of what you appreciate about your spouse (you can do this on our app)

Don’t wait till you feel like affirming your spouse, do it because it is the right thing to do. Your spouse isn’t pure evil!

Negative beliefs

Ask questions

Assume the best instead of the worst all the time

Each one of these fixes takes important choices.  Stop acting like a victim and do the right thing regardless of whether your spouse deserves it.

Last show we talked about the importance of having structure in how you resolve conflict. So you can’t just go all willy-nilly during conflict and think you’re going to get anything solved.

Today is about the most powerful word picture in the history of the world when it comes to resolving conflict!  If you’re going to resolve conflict, then you are trying to replicate the experience you get when going through the drive-through at a Chick-fil-a.

Today we are talking about the sound of intimacy and what you can do to make intimacy sound beautiful! And it’s not dirty.  The Distraction of the Day: So now that I know how much cockroaches freak you out. I’m going to fly through this show just to get to this distraction of the day! Yea, it has cockroaches!

BOOK US FOR A COMEDY NIGHT OR RELATIONSHIP EVENT

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It’s Friday Listener Question day! On today’s show Amy and I get confronted through the voicemail hotline about our views of nudity then Kirsten left a message on wanting to help a friend, who has a history of being hurt, find trust again. 

Get all the show notes and more free stuff here: https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/blog/flq-failed-nudity-and-trust

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Let’s talk about the social behind social media, what you think you know may surprise you, and what you don’t...well that’s what we’re gonna talk about today. Along with a new segment we are calling “A Completely Unrelated Distraction of the Day” where I will share with you fun, strange, inspirational and often times totally unbelievable news from around the world.  Wait till you hear what a pizza delivery guy did for someone in hospice. Amy Morin, PsychologyToday.com wrote, "Throughout the last couple of decades, our ability to connect with people around the globe has exploded. Initially, the internet allowed us to chat, join newsgroups, or email anyone in the world. The invention of cellphones allowed us to talk to people when we were away from our desks and outside of our homes.  Then, social networks allowed us to connect with our neighbors, childhood pals, college buddies, and co—workers with a click of a button. Finally, smartphones made it easier than ever to connect with anyone we wanted around the clock.  So you'd think we'd be feeling good about our social lives, right? After all, never in the history of the universe has communicating with people been so simple and accessible."

Married sex is the best sex

Why do a series of shows on sex? Married sex is the best sex!

Because it seems as though this is the topic of conversation you, the listener is most interested in.

Our number one show is titled “Is Oral sex allowed for a Christian couple”.

Oddly enough most couples don’t ever truly learn about the needs and desires of their spouse...so we are going to help facilitate a conversation about them.

There is still a lot of misinformation out there for couples, we want to clear the air and get you on the right path for a healthy sex life.

Let’s start off this series with some good ole healthy facts and figures about sex and the married couple

Married people have the best sex

Sex isn’t only about personal pleasure, it’s about loving someone unconditionally and meeting their needs intimacy wise.

PsychologyToday.com “For example, if you have sex twice a week you may experience the equivalent of being two years younger than your chronological age, as well as benefiting from a significant enhancement in the health and efficiency of the heart, respiratory system, and maintaining muscle strength.”

Today I take a voicemail question about whether or not it's ok to track your spouse via their smartphone or is that simply a lack of trust.  My answer is going to blow your minds! Or possibly not, depends on your mind I guess.

SPECIAL OFFER: You can build a better relationship in 2019 with this special online experience for only $2 - https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/offers/osBonM5o

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Call us at (903) 392-0975 and leave a voicemail question or review.