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Factory Sealed Video Game Podcasts

It’s time to gather round your console and join the finest gaming community in all the land. If you are looking for equal parts random life story and absurd video game analysis, then join hosts Eric, Dan, and Tom every few weeks for a light-hearted, tangent-filled romp through gaming history.

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The best episodes ranked using user listens.

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Retro – Ep. 190: Super Mario Galaxy

Mime jokes and pot roast wheels chart the course for a trip through Super Mario Galaxy with a side of Luigi’s Mansion 3, Death Stranding, and a straddle contest winner.

3hr 19mins

3 Nov 2019

Rank #1

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Retro – Ep. 73: Chrono Trigger

Chrono Trigger consistently ranks near top in the pantheon of gaming gods, but does it really deserve to be there? We think so.

3hr 1min

4 Nov 2015

Rank #2

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Retro – Ep. 45: The Legend of Zelda Majora’s Mask and 50 Shades of Gray: The Video Game

The prodigal son has returned! Dan Curtis joins the crew to talk about Bloodborne, Majora’s Mask, Final Fantasy Type-0 HD, and the sure-to-be-banned-everywhere video game adaptation of 50 Shades of Grey.

1hr 27mins

12 Apr 2015

Rank #3

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Retro – Ep. 57: Mario Kart 64 vs. Diddy Kong Racing vs. Crash Team Racing. Who’s the best?

We’re out to settle the long-standing debate of which kart racer is the best. Mario Kart 64, Diddy Kong Racing, or Crash Team Racing? With a gun to our pouses, we are forced to crown a victor.

1hr 42mins

13 Jul 2015

Rank #4

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Retro – Ep. 63: The Legend of Dragoon

Often revered as one of the greatest RPGs of its era, The Legend of Dragoon feels more like a summer filled with household chores than a game worthy of such high praise. But does it have enough for us to see it through to the end?

1hr 11mins

28 Aug 2015

Rank #5

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Retro – Ep. 133: Final Fantasy VII: Disc 1(ish)

Eric meets a potential serial killer while we polish off our Buster Swords, equip our best materia, and begin the first part of our deep dive into the gaming masterpiece that is Final Fantasy 7. Expect many Kleenex to be consumed.

2hr 51mins

22 May 2017

Rank #6

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Retro – Ep. 189: Luigi’s Mansion

Grab onto your Gamecube handle and get in shape with some (Coin) Ring Fit Adventure, press your cremated remains into your favorite game, and force your way through Luigi’s Mansion.

3hr 30mins

28 Oct 2019

Rank #7

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Retro – Ep. 100: Ocarina of Time and the Jeeves Box Giveaway

With a century of episodes behind us we celebrate by playing The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, sharing your favorite memories of the show, and sending a ghost to attack someone’s room by giving away the Jeeves box (and loads of other prizes!

2hr 53mins

6 Jun 2016

Rank #8

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Retro – Ep. 194: Top Games of 2019

2019 started with a bang and just kept going full tilt the whole way through. This left us to mull over the truly staggering number of games we played this year and whittle them down to our top 10; resulting in some rather unique lists.

4hr 46mins

30 Dec 2019

Rank #9

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Retro – Ep. 114: GTA: Vice City

Slip on your neon leg warmers on, perm that hair, and join us as we go back to the 80’s for a spot of GTA: Vice City and stop off for some discussion about the Nintendo Switch, Red Dead Redemption 2, and find out for yourself just how incredibly stupid one man can be when he describes a competition.

2hr 7mins

24 Oct 2016

Rank #10

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Retro – Ep. 36: Conker’s Bad Fur Day and Loads of Poop Talk

Conker’s Bad Fur Day, Rad Racer, Star Wars Episode I: Racer, heart shaped eye implants, fingernail scoops, and WAY too much talk about poop.

1hr 27mins

6 Feb 2014

Rank #11

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Retro – Ep. 159: Final Fantasy IX: Disc 1

We delve way too deep into the history of the mystical land of Hett, predict E3 2018, and analyze the hell out of Final Fantasy IX disc 1.

3hr 50mins

11 Jun 2018

Rank #12

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Retro – Ep. 155: Donkey Kong Country

BEAP BEAP! Eric and Mike pile into a semi full of Rocky bidets, flattening Dan on their way to discuss, Celeste, Ni No Kuni II, and Donkey Kong Country.

1hr 50mins

4 Apr 2018

Rank #13

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Retro – Ep. 87: Mega Man X and Tom the Technophobe

Despite a spectacular late arrival from Tom the Technophobe, the whole crew unites to annoy Eric by arguing that all games are RPGs. Also, learn how to be a good parent, gain more knowledge about Megaman X than you could possibly ever need, and enjoy the briefest celebration of Zelda’s 30th anniversary you’ve ever heard.

1hr 34mins

23 Feb 2016

Rank #14

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Retro – Ep. 115: Silent Hill 2

This Halloween we tackle Silent Hill 2 and join James Sunderland as he ventures into his own personal hell to look for his wife. Her name is Mary. She sent him a letter. Have you seen her? She’s dead.

2hr 16mins

31 Oct 2016

Rank #15

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Retro – Ep. 124: Resident Evil 2 and the Nintendo Switch

We react to the Nintendo Switch, Jess contracts the G-Virus and manages to miss our playthrough of Resident Evil 2 (although we didn’t notice) and we reveal the winners of our Card Fighter competition.

2hr 15mins

16 Jan 2017

Rank #16

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Retro – Ep. 156: God of War and God of War

Dan’s back from Australia to save the show once again as we talk about Nintendo Labo, God of War and also talk about God of War.

1hr 56mins

24 Apr 2018

Rank #17

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Retro – Ep. 76: Super Star Wars and Our Top Games of All Time

Phone sex operator Jess returns, cars are on fire, Super Star Wars is absurdly difficult, and apparently 600 clicks on a screen tell us our top games of all time.

1hr 46mins

30 Nov 2015

Rank #18

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Retro – Ep. 50: Final Fantasy 8: Disc 3

It’s all coming into focus. Squall is finally opening up, Rinoa is a Sorceress, Laguna is President, and monsters are falling from the moon. But who is Ultimecia and how are the past, present, and future going to become one?

1hr 48mins

13 May 2015

Rank #19

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Retro – Ep. 112: The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past – Part 1

We learn all about mermaid camp, Tom’s awkward erection on the beaches of Greece, and start our adventure through the kingdom of Hyrule in The Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past.

58mins

14 Oct 2016

Rank #20