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Love Over Addiction

Updated 4 days ago

Kids & Family
Alternative Health
Health & Fitness
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Do you love someone suffering from addiction? You're not powerless over this disease. You don’t need to wait for them to get sober to start feeling joy, happiness, and love. Join us for encouragement, hope, and some fun (because recovery doesn’t need to be depressing). If you feel exhausted from trying to help, depressed when they've been drinking or using drugs, and worried this roller coaster ride will never end – we can help.

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Do you love someone suffering from addiction? You're not powerless over this disease. You don’t need to wait for them to get sober to start feeling joy, happiness, and love. Join us for encouragement, hope, and some fun (because recovery doesn’t need to be depressing). If you feel exhausted from trying to help, depressed when they've been drinking or using drugs, and worried this roller coaster ride will never end – we can help.

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Gratitude

By JJGOGOES - Dec 02 2019
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Michelle. Your insight is a gift. I play any given episode each time I feel helpless and it’s a gentle reminder that I CAN do this and that I WILL be ok. Thank you.

Practical tips that really help me

By WD3499 - Nov 27 2019
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Michelle has been right where I am. She understands how I feel and her voice soothes my soul.

iTunes Ratings

739 Ratings
Average Ratings
681
31
12
9
6

Gratitude

By JJGOGOES - Dec 02 2019
Read more
Michelle. Your insight is a gift. I play any given episode each time I feel helpless and it’s a gentle reminder that I CAN do this and that I WILL be ok. Thank you.

Practical tips that really help me

By WD3499 - Nov 27 2019
Read more
Michelle has been right where I am. She understands how I feel and her voice soothes my soul.

Listen to:

Cover image of Love Over Addiction

Love Over Addiction

Updated 4 days ago

Read more

Do you love someone suffering from addiction? You're not powerless over this disease. You don’t need to wait for them to get sober to start feeling joy, happiness, and love. Join us for encouragement, hope, and some fun (because recovery doesn’t need to be depressing). If you feel exhausted from trying to help, depressed when they've been drinking or using drugs, and worried this roller coaster ride will never end – we can help.

4 Tips When Your Partner Starts Drinking

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The disease of addiction can make you feel so little so fast. But, remember - there are three of you in this relationship: you, your partner, and this addiction. And it’s important to remember that it’s the evil disease called “addiction” that is killing your relationship, not your loved one.

Addiction wants to take you down. So what do you do when your partner's addiction has taken over once again and he or she is lashing out?

Today, I am going to give you four helpful tools you can start to use immediately to take back your power and help you feel in control.

Get out or hang up.

Your partner can’t verbally abuse you if you are not around to be their punching bag. Leave the room. Walk away or hang up the phone. Respectfully. No yelling, slamming doors, or shaming (I know... it’s hard).

Don’t try to solve his issues.

This disease is cunning and strong. You will lose. The only one who stands a chance of taking this disease down is your loved one. Let him or her fight their own battles.

Don’t engage in a fight.

Your attention feeds this disease. If you weren’t there to nag or argue, your partner would be left with his or her depressing thoughts. And that feeling cannot be good. You will no longer become the scapegoat for those shameful feelings.

Surrender it all to God.

Give it all to Him because He is willing to take it on. Close your eyes and imagine giving all your problems, anxiety, and anger away. Do this every day and every time you need to, trusting that God will make all things right. Repeat "I surrender" over and over. You can even sing that hymn: “I Surrender All” - Faith Hill has an amazing version.

I know this seems hard, but too often we get dragged into this crazy addiction cycle. We blame our partner or worse - we blame ourselves for his or her drinking, drugs, gambling, or porn. We feel shame and we “own” their problems, taking responsibility for issues that don’t belong to us. And then we get angry at him or her for lying and disappointing or at ourselves for putting up with it. It’s a cycle. And it causes us to stay stuck.

We need to break the cycle of addiction by choosing to respond differently.

Doing one of these four things next time your loved one chooses to drink or use drugs takes back your power. And the rewards will be amazing. You will get stronger and healthier. You can do it! I am cheering you on with love and encouragement.

If you’re ever looking for support on this journey, check out the three programs we offer. They are all work-at-your-own-pace and you’ll have lifetime access, so you’re able to take as long as you need. I know these changes take time. I’m here to support you and cheer you on.

Sep 01 2015

10mins

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The Secret to Leaving vs. Staying with your alcoholic husband

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Are you feeling trapped in your marriage with an alcoholic or substance abuser?

You love him or her, so you want to stay in this relationship. But you're angry, confused, and feeling hopeless.

You don't know how much more you can take.

Have you ever threatened to leave your loved one because you want to scare him or her into getting sober? (this almost never works for long-term sobriety, so no need to try)

The idea of leaving breaks your heart and you don't see a way out.

You cling to the good person you fell in love with. You need the best version of him or her.

On the days you lose hope that your partner will ever get sober for good, you may secretly entertain the idea of leaving.

But how would you support yourself? Where would you go? Will your children blame you for breaking apart the family? What would your family think? What would God think?

It's not simple, is it? It's complicated and messy.

But I'm here to remind you sweet friend:

You don't need to make up your mind to leave or stay today.

Forgive yourself for staying and remember you reserve the right to change your mind tomorrow.

Surrender the decision and trust the process. You'll know if it's time to leave.

You're not trapped - you're just not ready to make the decision yet.

In the meantime, you need to get started working on your program.

You know I’m always going to be honest with you because I teach from experience.

And here’s the loving truth: you’re sick too. This disease has done some serious damage to you.

So, let’s focus on getting you repaired and recovered. Let’s commit to working your program.

And I used the word "work" intentionally. Feeling better takes commitment.

We need to commit to prayer, to self-care, and to being willing and open to change.

Listen to our free podcast, read our helpful tips, and join one of our programs. They are entirely online, so your confidentiality is always protected and there is no child care to line up. Plus, you have lifetime access.

No matter where you decided to get the help and answers you need, you're a loving thoughtful wife who needs to feel better about herself before she can make the decision to leave or stay.

By doing the work, you will no longer feel threatened or stuck. You can stay because you choose to stay. You can leave if you feel it’s time because you will be strong enough to make that decision.

I hope to "meet" you inside one of our programs.

Sep 26 2016

5mins

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Ask Me Anything Episode #2: About My Ex-Husband

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We’re back with another Ask Me Anything episode - all about my ex-husband. I was married to a good man that drinks too much and suffers from substance abuse disorder.

It’s a real conversation filled with tough questions, real answers, and hopefully some new insights for you.

When you're in a relationship with someone that suffers from addiction, it's hard to see the light. I felt like I was in a prison, and wasn't sure if or how to get out.  

If you have questions for me (about my ex-husband or not), send them to us at info@LoveOverAddiction.com. We might feature them on an upcoming episode. This podcast is for YOU - so we really want to hear from YOU. We hope you’ll share your feedback + send your questions to us.

Jan 13 2019

1hr 44mins

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Why Your Partner Keeps Lying to You

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Today we are going to talk about the top three ways to get your partner to stop lying to you.

Let me start off by asking you a question: Have you, my sweet listener, yelled, screamed, pleaded and begged, bargained, counseled, and done everything else you could possibly think of to get your loved one sober?

You are exhausted and resentful that you stay up late into the night worrying and trying to figure out how you can help while your partner is lying there passed out on the couch from another night of drinking or drugs.

And tomorrow he or she will probably wake up and act like nothing happened - meanwhile, you feel like your heart was just ripped out.

You try to talk to them, doing your best to let them know just how awful he or she was last night. How much they hurt you. And how they broke their promises (again) to stop drinking or using drugs. After some denial, he or she sits there and listens to you and watches you get all your feelings out.

You present a long-winded, detailed, vulnerable, honest monologue. Your loved one listens and agrees with you. And then he or she drinks again. Ugh!

Why does he or she keep lying and telling you that they're going to stop? Because they know the drill. They know that if they just nod their head and act like they're listening… eventually, you will stop talking. And then he or she can go back to drinking.

This is your routine. You react by crying, sulking, begging, yelling.  Your partner listens, says sorry, tells you how much they love you, and makes you feel special. Then drinks again. How do you get your loved one to stop lying to you and when can you trust him again?

Don’t ask him to promise you he’ll stop.

Your partner knows his or her drinking or drug use has got to stop. They might not act like it, but they know it’s killing them and your relationship. You don’t need to remind them.

Base your decisions on what your partner does - not what they say.

Does he or she tell you that their family is more important than their drinking? So how does that line up with his or her choices? Does your loved one tell you they love you and that they don't deserve you, and then a week later neglects you by going to the bar, drinking on a special occasion, or leaving you to attend an event alone? Pay attention to your partner's actions, not his words.

You can start to trust them after twelve months of sobriety. Don’t feel guilty if they've stopped drinking for three months and you still don’t trust them. Your partner has done a lot of damage and he or she needs to rebuild trust with you one choice at a time.

You’re a smart woman. Don’t let this disease fool you. The quickest way to stop feeling crazy and not be lied to is to stop believing the lies and look at the facts. Write them down if you have to.

Join us at one of our work-at-your-own-pace programs and become a member of our secret Facebook group where the doors always open to talk about these major life changes.

Nov 23 2015

6mins

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7 Most Common Mistakes You Might Be Making

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Do you feel beaten down? Like you don’t recognize yourself anymore while loving someone who drinks too much or suffers from addiction? This disease does a really good job trying to convince us that we are helpless.

But that’s a lie. There are many things you can do to help your relationship and give him a better chance of sobriety

One of the best ways to help is by learning the most common mistakes you might be making when loving an alcoholic or substance abuser.

Click here for a free training video where I walk you through each one of these steps. You don't want to miss it (and you will love the helpful - and beautiful - slides in the video). Plus, it's under five minutes - because I know you're busy.

Here are seven mistakes you may be making:

1. Keeping track of your loved one's drinking. If you tell him or her not to drink in the house, they will just find another place to drink. If you throw away the liquor, they will just spend more money replacing it. You have no control over anything your partner chooses to put into his body.

2. Lecturing your partner. No matter how much you threaten, it won't change their behavior. Set boundaries and give consequences for his or her behavior with your actions, not with words.

3. Speaking negatively about your loved one to your children. This is a major no-no. Your children need to feel safe. They deserve to form their own opinion about their parent, not inherit yours.

4. Researching recovery information. This is not your job. Your partner's sobriety will never last if the idea is coming from you. Don't drive him or her to meetings, purchase books, or set up appointments for them.

5. Placing your life on hold to focus on your loved one's issues. Don't. Your dreams are important. Focus on your purpose, not theirs.

6. Believing the hurtful lies. You are smart. You are valuable. You are beautiful and kind. Anyone that tells you anything else is not someone you need to be listening to.

7. Not forgiving yourself for staying with your partner. You know he or she can be awful, but you are smart enough to know they are sick. You love them, so you are choosing to stay. You reserve the right to change your mind tomorrow.

So, my sweet reader - what mistake do you struggle with? Or are you like me and make them all?

If you’re ready to make your healing as important as your partner’s sobriety – we are waiting for you. Our programs are online, confidential, and you have lifetime access – so you can do them at your own pace.

Dec 05 2016

8mins

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Uncovering The Truth About Enforcing Boundaries & Addiction

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On this week’s episode, Michelle shares two very personal stories about boundaries. And if you’ve been a part of our community for some time, you know boundaries are a necessary skill for every single woman on this planet, especially when you love someone suffering from any kind of addiction: alcohol, drugs (illegal or prescribed), gambling, pornography, or sex among other things.  

Here’s a sneak peek into the episode:

  • How can you appropriately enforce boundaries in any circumstance?
  • What happens when you state your boundary in a dignified manner?
  • How will sticking to your boundaries prevent unnecessary stress and anxiety?

Read our blog at https://loveoveraddiction.com/2018/08/uncovering-truth-enforcing-boundaries/

If you want to learn more about the Love Over Addiction program, visit us at https://TheLoveOverWay.com/programs/love-over-addiction

Aug 05 2018

19mins

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3 Benefits of Codependency

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I often talk about one of the ways this community is different - we believe you’re not powerless over this disease.

And for those of you who know me and have been listening to the podcast or reading our blog for a while, you might be thinking “Yeah, Michelle I know. I’ve heard you say this so many times.”

Here's another way our community is different:

We believe that codependency can be a very good thing.

Yes, it’s true. Codependency practiced with the right people at the right time can be a huge gift.

Here are three benefits of codependency.

1. When everyone else has walked away, you stay to help.

Here's an example: let’s pretend we’re running a marathon. There is a moment in the race that some runners hit where their bodies just give out and they literally collapse. It’s not an uncommon scene in the last five miles of a marathon.

But what is uncommon is the runner who stops her race and forgoes her own time to help the person next to her who is struggling. Most people train for an event like this for years, and their time matters. If they stop, they know they might not be able to continue.

So it’s totally normal for someone to just keep moving and focus on what they're there for - getting the best possible time they can.

But I know several women who stop running their race when they see someone in pain. And who will even run back to get them some water. They will come alongside of the broken runner, put their arm around them, and make sure they get medical assistance.

These are the women that have been called “codependent” in meetings. These are selfless, courageous, and thoughtful women.

If that’s called codependent, then they should wear that label proudly.

2. Codependency is a gift because it makes us good friends.

We show up. We listen when someone’s hurting. 

And when someone is sharing her pain or problems, we get busy trying to think of ways we can help.

We can be counted on. And we follow up with a text or phone call to check in and make sure that person is doing better. We arrive at doorsteps with a pot roast.

We defend and protect because we are loyal to those we have let into our little close circle.

3. Codependency is a gift is because we’re willing to say sorry.

We are usually the first ones to admit that we may have messed up and made a mistake.

In a world full of defensiveness, we are refreshingly willing to take responsibility. We're usually the first one who admits we may have messed up and didn’t get it right. Or to admit to our friends and family and even strangers that we don’t have all the answers.

There are so many more amazing qualities that come from being “codependent” and this blog is one example.

I’ve been writing here for over four years and this little community of women like you are some of the most polite, loving, and caring women I’ve ever known.

You make writing and doing this podcast a joy. You warm my heart. I love our group of codependent women.

Kindness is not normal in most online communities, unfortunately. But we have great manners. And we are here for each other.

So I for one, I am proud to be codependent. That label is fine with me.

If you’re ever looking for support on this journey, check out the three programs we offer. They are all work-at-your-own-pace and you’ll have lifetime access, so you’re able to take as long as you need. I know these changes take time. I’m here to support you and cheer you on.

Sep 15 2015

11mins

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Dropping Expectations

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When you love someone that drinks too much or suffers from addiction it's easy to be wrapped up in their disease, their actions, and their situations. 

We are high achieving women, and we can develop unrealistic expectations (yes, that means too high of expectations) for yourself and those around. These unrealistic expectations you can steal your joy and make it hard enjoy anything.  

But what if you start to make peace with who you are right now. Take some time to look around and notice all of the good things that are happening.

Listen to the podcast or read the blog to hear how to get rid of the expectations that may be holding you back.

Dec 30 2018

15mins

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The Enabling Behaviors You Need to Stop Now

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When we love someone suffering from addiction, we do our very best to help them. We try everything we can think of, read, or find on Google. We try it all. With the most pure and best intentions. We want our loved ones to get sober, and stay sober for good, right?

The reality is that all that energy we’re putting into our loved ones, we need to be putting into ourselves. Because addiction has hurt us too, and we deserve recovery. We deserve energy. We deserve grace.

Today you’ll learn about 12 behaviors you need to stop right now, today. And some of them may be harder than others, but you know that we’re honest in this community. I share loving truths with you to help your recovery and your healing, even when they may be hard to hear.

Find more: https://loveoveraddiction.com/stop-enabling-behaviors/

Join the sisterhood: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Jul 21 2019

7mins

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How To Love Yourself While Loving An Alcoholic

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I met my first husband in high school.

At the time, I was broken.

I didn't have a super traumatic childhood like some people, but I was definitely lacking love and attention and seeking approval from the wrong crowd as a result.

I also really, really cared about people. Their pain was my pain. Even if it was a conversation with a stranger sitting next to me on a train. For that hour-long ride, I would listen as they told me about their sister dying. Or the woman I just met in the waiting room telling me about her husband fighting a war in a foreign land.

My heart hurt for them. And that’s okay.

Some people believe this would be a sign of codependency. And maybe it is. But it’s nothing I would choose to change about myself. I love that God gave me the gift of empathy and compassion for others.

Listening to someone who has the courage to be vulnerable with a total stranger is a privilege that should be honored.

And my guess, sweet listener, is that you have that gift too.

You are the kind of woman who feels other people’s pain. Who is willing to really listen.

So how do we make sure this gift of compassion for others is not used in a harmful way? How do we listen and love without getting hurt?

Our gift of compassion and empathy can sometimes harm us when we get confused and think that our healing will come from healing someone else.

Trying to take away someone else's pain doesn't take away our own.

It doesn't work like that, does it? Because what happens if they never heal? Or what happens if they do?

We, the caretakers, are still left in the same empty and sometimes lonely place we started.

Because we neglected ourselves.

We use our greatest gift of empathy and compassion for everyone but ourselves.

We excuse everyone else’s mistakes and behaviors but our own.

When our friends gain weight we tell them they still look beautiful. But how often do we tell ourselves that we’re beautiful?

When other moms are upset their children made a poor choice, how often do we assure them they are doing a great job, but we beat ourselves up when our kids make mistakes?

You see where I’m going with this?

The problem can be that when we love and encourage others, we forget to love and encourage ourselves.

So, my sweet, wonderful listener, I’m here to love and encourage you by reminding you that you are precious. You are beautiful. You have gifts to offer.

And I’m also here as someone who has been very guilty of this, to remind you to be your biggest fan.

Be kind and gentle with yourself. Choose to love and nurture you.

You are not being prideful. And anyone that says that loving yourself is wrong isn’t living with addiction. This disease can bring you down. Fast. Women who love alcoholics or substance abusers don’t suffer from pride. We’re the opposite. We suffer from never feeling good enough.

Let’s make a promise to each other. Let’s sit in that waiting room or train ride and before we give away our special gift of compassion, make sure we have given it to ourselves first.

Are you being too hard on yourself? Are you beating yourself up for not being good enough?

Take a moment today to love yourself while loving an alcoholic.

If you found this helpful, we have three courses that could change your life (and your relationship) PLUS a Secret Facebook Group filled with women just like you (so you will never feel lonely again). Click here to learn more.

Sep 08 2015

11mins

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She’s Staying With Her Husband Suffering From Alcoholism

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Every woman that loves someone suffering from addiction is looking for hope. We want our loved ones to change, and we’re doing anything and everything we can to get them sober.

We are in a relationship with our loved one for our own reasons, and we never intended to leave the relationship or marriage.

I remember when I was married to a good man suffering from addiction, I tried everything to make it work. You name it, I probably tried it.

Is it possible to live a life with your partner, staying in your own lane, and living in your own happiness whether they get sober or not?

For some, that is possible. Let me lovingly remind you that we never do judgment. You reserve the right to change your mind at any time, for any reason. Let me also say that staying is not for everyone.

Today on the podcast I talk with Dana. We’ve been friends for 20 years, and she’s married to a good man that drinks too much and suffers from addiction. We met in college, and she has chosen to stay (for now), and she lives a happy life. Listen to her story today.

Find show notes and more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/staying-suffering-from-alcoholism/

If you’d like a free guidesheet on how to communicate your boundaries, we have that for you here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/boundaries132/

And if you’re ready to join our online programs and take your healing to the next level, you can find out more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/courses/

Mar 24 2019

58mins

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7 Questions You Need To Ask Yourself When You Love An Alcoholic or Substance Abuser

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Do you feel exhausted from loving someone suffering from addiction? Are you worried about the one you love so much your heart hurts? Are you wondering how to help them get them sober or convince them they have a problem and need help? Do you wonder if they will ever change?

When you love someone suffering from addiction, the list of worries goes on and on.

All that worrying can take a toll on our bodies.

Here’s what’s important to remember - allow yourself to crash. Give yourself the necessary space to take a deep breath and go back to bed if you need to. Sit on the couch and watch your favorite show. Sleep in. Take a vacation if you can.

If you’re tired and you're at the gym, walk instead of run. Read a good book in a cozy chair and skip the grocery store. Order in and don’t make dinner. Vacuuming can wait until another day. Be kind and gentle with yourself.

Put down the phone and don’t worry about being available to everyone all the time. Call in from work and take the day off. Take a mental health day.

We are known to work too hard. We have been responsible our entire lives. It’s okay to permit ourselves to take a break. Sit on the porch and watch your neighbors pass by.

Go to an easy flow yoga class. Download the free Calm app that will teach you how to breathe. For the next few days, just be kind to yourself. Take it easy. Take a break from the role of fixer, pleaser, and caregiver.

Do the minimum needed to make sure things are taken care of. Stay in your favorite pajamas. Cancel your plans.

Resting and being still is healing. Busyness can prevent us from feeling. You need to take a break from the chaos that surrounds you in order to find peace through the stillness.

Creating distance between you and the dysfunction allows you to take inventory and ask yourself some fundamental questions:

What do I want? What do I love to do that brings me joy? Am I doing what I love? If I could fill my time with anything, what would it be? Where do I want to live? What’s my dream job? What is my five-year plan?

Just take a day to imagine and get back in touch with YOUR desires. Ask yourself: WHAT DO YOU WANT? This should feel fun and indulgent. So much of your energy has been about their sobriety - it’s your turn now.

If you haven’t joined us in one of our programs and you want to find answers, hope, and happiness, what are you waiting for? Click here to check out the details. Our programs are offered for just $25.00 a month. If they are spending money on their bad habits, making an investment in your family's future is a better choice, don't you think?

Oct 15 2017

20mins

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Dealing with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? This Is a Must-Read.

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Let’s be real with each other. It’s hard to keep up with all the different ways your loved one treats you, isn’t it?

You might have a tender moment in the car and reach for their hand and you’re reminded of why you feel in love with them in the first place.

They might be funny and cracking you up when you both are standing at the kitchen counter talking about your day.

Or you might share a thoughtful and romantic moment that gives you the deep sense of connection that has been missing for awhile.

These are the moments of light in times of darkness. These are the glimmers of hope when we feel defeated.

Moments like the examples above are when their behavior comes from a place of truth. This is who God made them - a good loving person - and this is how your relationship was intended to feel like.

But then, as we are holding our heads up to the light and beginning to trust again… that hope fades and we are left in darkness.

Our broken hearts have to learn one more time how to handle heartbreak. Because the one we love is replaced with darkness. They have faded into the background and we are left loving an unwelcomed version of them.

The addiction masks them like a cloak and our happy, productive, romantic partner is replaced with a hurtful, distant, insulting, worst version of themselves.

Let’s just state the obvious: it’s not fair. But addiction never promised to be fair, did it?

Addiction doesn’t know about respect or compromising. Addiction doesn't listen - it takes. It’s selfish.

If you can untangle the person you love into two separate beings, lots of good things can happen.

You will find your power and control. Because the next time they become distant or rude, you can say to yourself, "That’s the addiction. It’s not personal. It’s a disease. I did nothing to justify this behavior."

And when you see a true glimpse of the one you love who is kind and responsible, you can enjoy and savor them with the realistic expectation that they will not stay like this forever (unless, of course, they are sober and getting weekly help).

If you choose to stay or leave them, making peace that the one you love is struggling with two versions of themselves will help you turn anger into compassion.

You will be able to reach a point of empathy because when they lash out or reject you, you’re not taking it personally.

You can say to yourself (or out loud),

“I am an intelligent, sober woman and this is just the addiction talking. I don’t listen or believe anything that comes from addiction because I know it’s a selfish liar who is out to deceive me. I am too smart and strong to fall for it.”

This is how you handle someone who is struggling with staying consistently loving and thoughtful because they are addicted to drug, alcohol, pornography, or sex.

You are a strong woman and you have found a sisterhood that believes in you. Together, we are here for one another, sharing the issues that no one talks about. We will not be ashamed and we refuse to just sit and accept that we won’t feel happiness and joy until they choose to get sober.

We are not powerless over this disease. And if you want to see real change in your life - now’s the time to join our programs. We will welcome you with open arms. Privacy is our biggest priority and no childcare is necessary. Do them online, at your own pace, and have lifetime access. We hope to meet you inside the program.

Feb 04 2018

12mins

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How To Stop Tolerating Lies From Your Partner Suffering From Addiction

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We’re a community full of women that love someone suffering from addiction. And here’s the reality: our lives and relationships are different because of that.

Have you ever had an evening like this? Let’s play this out: your partner comes home 4 hours later than expected. When you ask them where they were, they say something like, “I had to stay late at work tonight.”

And here’s the reality: they did have to stay late at work, but only an extra half an hour. The other 3.5 hours they were at the bar, or hanging out at a “friend’s” house getting high.

They left out a very critical detail about their evening. That, sister, is a form of lying: not sharing the whole truth, or being intentionally vague. And you know. You know the truth. You’re a smart woman, and chances are, you’ve been here before.

And it can be so frustrating. Enraging.

In today’s episode I’m sharing real tools on how to handle these situations. There’s no two ways about it: this is hard. But we’re here for you. You’re not alone.

Find more details here:https://loveoveraddiction.com/stop-tolerating-lies/

Find something fun and personal here: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

And join our sisterhood here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

Jun 23 2019

15mins

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Why You Might Be Staying in an Unhealthy Relationship

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This week we’re going to answer the question: why do I stay in an unhealthy relationship? 

But... before we get started, I want to make something clear.  I will never tell you to stay or leave.

There are many women in this community who choose to stay in their marriage and it works for them. And there are women who leave.

My goal for this community is to get YOU healthier and happier so you can make the decision that is best for you.  The choice is yours and we will NEVER judge you.  Ever. 

There are many reasons we decide to stay in a unhealthy relationship (we love them, we see their potential, we find self worth in helping others, fear of what others will think, fear of breaking up a family, etc).

Today we’re going to be covering a reason I’ve never discussed before.

Here’s a question I received from a wonderful and strong woman in our Secret Facebook Group that we will use as a great example (I think a lot of you will be able to relate):

Q:

I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for over two years. At first I thought he just drank a lot, then his obsession with drinking made me realize he is an alcoholic, a highly functioning one.

The whole relationship, I gave and he took. I could see that when something interfered with his drinking he would avoid it. But as soon as I began to put some demands on him, basically just asking him to treat me like I treat him, he began to talk about how our relationship wasn't working.

So now we are not together, except to go out to dinner once in awhile, which I am about to put an end to.

But why does it hurt so much to let this man go? I loved him like I never loved anyone else. I was so selfless and always thinking of him. I just can't understand why my heart hurts so much but my brain is telling me I am lucky it has ended and get on with my future without him. I still love him.

This is a question I get a lot.  Why do we know in our heads that leaving is the right thing but our hearts want to go back?

Are you ready for the truth? It might be difficult to read but if you’re honest with yourself it maybe something you need to hear.

The truth is, when we don’t completely love and accept ourselves we are always looking for people and circumstances to reinforce our negative beliefs. 

I’ll give you an example.  Let’s say he promises to come home at a certain time.  And you wait for him.  But he’s late and he doesn’t even bother calling to tell you he’s running behind schedule.  And when he does finally walk through the door he smells like alcohol or looks high.  You ask him if he'd been drinking or using and he tells you that you’re paranoid and overreacting.  In other words, he belittles you for not being cool with the situation.

What’s really going on in this scenario is that you came into this relationship feeling unimportant and not good enough.  And he is reinforcing that belief about yourself by the way he’s treating you.

When he doesn’t show up on time because he’s at the bar or out with friends after work, his ACTIONS are telling you that you're not important enough to him to choose your relationship and get sober.

And then you start to think, “What could I have done better to get him home on time? What am I doing wrong that he doesn’t love me enough?”

You take it as a personal rejection that something is wrong with YOU.  And you think that if you just “get it right” he will finally find you important enough to come home and stop choosing drugs or drinking over you.

That is the reason this disease can be so powerful over us.  Because it attracts women who already believe they are unimportant or unworthy of being cherished, and have hearts that want to help others.

Addiction can identify types of women like us a mile away.  And you want to know how it confirms we are the women who will fall for the guy who suffers from addiction? We stick around.  We are the ones who stay and try to help the ones we love get sober.

Think about it, if a really confident woman was going on a date with a man who said he was going to pick her up at 7:00 pm and then he showed up at 8:00 with alcohol on his breath or high as a kite - do you really think she would get in the car with him?  No, she would probably refuse to go out and never call him back.

Why is she so different than us?

Because she knows she’s important and she loves herself enough to not accept dysfunction into her life.

We need to starting falling in love with ourselves more than we fall in love with the alcoholic or addict.

It might be the most difficult thing we ever do, but it should be our new goal. 

Because only THEN can we walk away from disfunction without looking back. We can start to honor ourselves.  We can find the worth in who we are and were created to be.  We can look at ourselves in the mirror and believe: I am enough.

And when all our decisions and choices come from a place of self love, we can become the most powerful and attractive version of ourselves. Everything in our lives will change.

If you’re wondering how to start practicing self love, we have you covered.  The Love Over Addiction program is filled with REAL tools and techniques .  It’s a program for you (not for him) and it will help whether he gets sober or not. I hope you make your healing a priority and join us.

Aug 13 2017

15mins

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How Losing Control Can Help Your Partner Get Sober

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The more your loved one drinks, the more out of control your life becomes. And the fear of the future creates a strong desire to get him or her sober.

This week I'm going to share with you a very personal story that will help give you an example of how letting go of our plan to get your loved one get sober can help you find healing and execrate our recovery.

In this week's free download, I give you very specific examples of rescuing and surrendering your partner. I think you’ll find them super helpful.

One night I got a call at 2:30am that my husband had been arrested again for a DUI. After I hung up the phone, I quickly got dressed, woke up our three young children who were peacefully sleeping, and buckled them in the backseat of our minivan.

When I was driving to the jail (I think this was the fifth jail I had been to), I was excited.

Now, to someone who isn’t married to an alcoholic or substance abuser the idea that I was feeling excited because I received a phone call in the middle of the night from the police informing me that my husband had broken the law (he had not harmed anyone – thank God), would seem crazy.

But I was excited. I was thrilled because he got caught by someone other than me. I was so grateful that he totaled my car because there was physical proof that he had a drinking problem.

It made me joyful that someone else (law enforcement) was mad at him. That he would have to answer to the judge for his bad choices. I was excited because I thought maybe this was rock bottom for him.

I looked in the rearview mirror at my sleeping children in their pajamas and I had hope. Maybe this would be the night my children would get their father back.

I would be able to love him deeply and unconditionally with total trust and without fear that he would lie to us or hurt us again.

He would finally be the man I always knew he could be. We could have the family and marriage I craved.

Can you relate to that?

And I would love to tell you, my sweet reader, that he did get sober. That a police record, a totaled car, jail time, and a lost job would result in him finally saying “enough." But, as you know, this disease has a very firm grip on the good people that we love.

And as much as we want to help and hope the new “crisis” will be the last, we must let go and let them lose control. Because I’ve never heard of an alcoholic getting sober by being comfortable.

Lasting recovery is usually started by a crisis. So if you are going around rescuing your loved one, throwing out the bottles, reminding him or her to take their medicine, covering up the disease for them, bailing them out of jail...

Stop.

At first, you won’t feel like you can get through it. You’ll feel a strong temptation to fix, solve, and get your hands dirty with your partner's issues.

But that’s prolonging their sickness. You know what I should have done that late night? Left him in jail. Rolled over in bed and let my innocent children sleep. Let him call one of his drinking buddies to bail him out.

But instead, I “saved him.” In this week’s free download, I give you very specific examples of rescuing and surrendering. I’m being really honest and vulnerable with you by pointing out my mistakes so you can make better choices.

A week after that late night and bailing him out of jail, I had a pivotal moment that began my healing and I started refusing to rescue my husband. I go more into that in the free download, so don’t forget to grab that. But looking back, I am so grateful that he went to jail that night.

It didn’t help his recovery, but it was the beginning of mine.

If you found this helpful, we have three courses that could change your life (and your relationship) PLUS a Secret Facebook Group filled with women just like you (so you will never feel lonely again). Click here to learn more.

Nov 30 2015

6mins

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How To Let Go Of Using Addiction As An Excuse

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I love hearing stories. It’s so powerful, and these real life examples can open our eyes and hearts to our very own potential. 

Today, listen to our conversation with one of our brave Love Over Addiction sisters who shares about her relationship with a good man that drinks too much. 

She gets brutally honest with us about the baggage she brought from past relationships, how her husband has set boundaries on her, and how she’s come to a place of compassion and gratitude. 

She’s found her own happiness and continues to heal and recover, all the while she’s staying married, and her husband is still drinking. 

Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/addiction-as-excuse/

Join the sisterhood: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Oct 20 2019

43mins

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4 Helpful Boundaries

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I signed up to volunteer with the 4-year-olds at church one Sunday, and about ten minutes into the class, I started looking at the clock and wondering how much longer until the class was over.

Let’s be super clear: I love children. I have six of my own, but I am certain being a preschool teacher or working with young kids is not my gift.  

Maybe it’s because I think about germs way too much. Maybe it’s because I prefer adult talk. Maybe it’s because I always feel like I need a nap afterward. I just know that I was not the person who was made to volunteer in a class full of beautiful, precious children.

I have good friends who love serving in that position, so I am going cheer them on and I will find somewhere else to serve. Also, I don’t feel guilty about it - I just know that it's not for me.

That’s a boundary I have put in place. Anytime someone asks me to volunteer with little ones, I politely (and respectfully) decline.

Boundaries are important for every woman, but they are especially important when you love someone who struggles with addiction or who drinks too much.

Here are four helpful boundaries you should put in place:

Your words can’t change him. Surrender the desire to fix him. Change your expectations. He is sick.

Transfer all the energy you used to put into worrying or working yourself up over his bad mood and use that energy for yourself. Self-care is the best way to heal.

Be kind to yourself. Be your biggest advocate. Self-compassion allows you to be compassionate with others.

Practice good boundaries. It’s okay if he calls and you don’t want to answer. You’re not at his beck and call. You can let it go to voicemail and you can block his number.

If you’re struggling with boundaries and are not sure where to start or how to enforce them, we have a course called Love Over Boundaries created just for women who love an alcoholic or someone suffering with addiction.

Feb 26 2017

6mins

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An Expert Interview With A Child Psychologist

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As mothers, we all try to do the very best for our children. But our ‘job’ as mothers changes significantly when we love someone suffering from addiction, especially if that someone is the child’s parent.

Knowing how to protect your children in this situation is imperative to raising healthy children who are mentally and emotionally stable.

And let me share a loving truth: You have to learn the tools to know how to raise children who don’t later become addicts themselves. It’s your job. And I know you can do it.

Learn these tools and more from today’s episode: https://loveoveraddiction.com/child-psychologist-expert-interview

Apr 28 2019

52mins

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Tips From A Divorce Lawyer If You Are Leaving Or Staying With Your Partner Who Suffers From Addiction

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When you love someone suffering from addiction, any kind of addiction like alcohol, illegal drugs, prescription pills, gambling, pornography, or sex, among others, it's important to know your options. You deserve to be educated and be able to protect yourself in any situation. 

Today we interview matrimonial lawyer Kara Bellew to discuss what the divorce process looks like. Even if you’re choosing to stay and have no plans on leaving the one you love, we encourage you to listen to this episode and hear what Kara has to say.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • How to choose the right lawyer
  • What to expect in your initial consultation with a divorce lawyer
  • How to protect your children and what to expect your family dynamic to look like while going through separation or divorce

Read our blog at https://loveoveraddiction.com/tips-from-a-divorce-lawyer-if-youre-leaving-or-staying-with-your-partner-who-suffers-from-addiction/

If you want to learn more about the Love Over Addiction program, visit us at http://TheLoveOverWay.com/programs/love-over-addiction

Jul 15 2018

51mins

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A Real Life Story About Supporting Your Children Through Addiction

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Today we get to hear a real life story from a brave woman in our community. Her story is absolutely amazing, and we talk on big topics like letting go of codependent behaviors, supporting children through the chaos, and how to handle it when one child is extremely loyal to their father. Truly, she’s found peace and happiness whether he’s taking pills (and drinking) or not.  

Find more: https://loveoveraddiction.com/podcast

Join the community: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Dec 01 2019

1hr 3mins

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How Taking Care Of Your Partner Suffering From Addiction Is Actually Hurting

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When we love someone suffering from addiction, our relationships aren’t ‘normal’ by any stretch of the word. 

We can take on strange roles that we never imagined before, like taking care of our partners like they’re our children. 

Can you relate? Do you find yourself reminding them of appointments? Picking up their laundry? Cleaning up their messes? Driving them places? Making all their food? 

There’s no shame here. We’re a judgment-free community. And I found myself in this exact position when I loved a good man that suffered from addiction. 

I thought I was helping, but I was actually hurting. 

Find out how to let go of acting like their mother, and where to put that energy and effort instead. 

Learn more: https://loveoveraddiction.com/taking-care-of-your-partner/

Join your community: https://loveoveraddiction.com

Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Nov 24 2019

7mins

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What It’s Really Like To Leave Your Marriage When You Love Someone Suffering From Addiction

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Here’s the deal: today I get to share a conversation with you - one I had with a Love Over Addiction Sister in our community. 

She’s sharing her personal story about loving a good man that suffers from addiction. We cover big topics like why (and how) she ended up here in the first place. 

We talk about how her lack of self-confidence impacted her whole relationship, and where she is today with her two young children. 

As always, please welcome this brave woman with loving, judgment-free acceptance.

Find more here:https://loveoveraddiction.com/podcast/

Join your community: https://loveoveraddiction.com

Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Nov 17 2019

49mins

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Feeling Guilty Can Be A Good Sign

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Growing up, weren’t we all taught that when we feel guilty about something, that’s our conscience telling us we’ve done something ‘wrong’? 

I know I was. So when I was married to a good man suffering from addiction, dealing with feelings of guilt was hard, because I assumed I was in the wrong. 

Here’s the thing though: addiction doesn’t play by the rules. All those ‘helpful’ tips and tools out there don’t apply to us, and our relationships, because we love someone suffering from addiction. 

Addiction breaks rules, lies, manipulates, and is aggressive. 

Well, I have a different idea: feeling guilty can actually be a good sign that you’re doing the right thing, and that you’re on the right path. Don’t worry, I’ll explain everything in today’s episode.  

Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/feeling-guilty-is-a-sign/

Join your community: https://loveoveraddiction.com

Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Nov 10 2019

5mins

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Why Her Son Suffers From Addiction (And Why That Matters)

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Her son (and her husband) both suffer from addiction. She has twin sons, one suffers and one doesn’t. And she thinks she knows why… Usually we don’t get into the details of why someone may suffer, but when you’re a mother with a child suffering it can be helpful. We talk about why and much more. 

Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/podcast

Join your community: https://loveoveraddiction.com

Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Nov 03 2019

32mins

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Why Anger Is Okay (And How To Use It For Good)

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Some people try to avoid their anger. And in my experience, women especially. 

As women, we seem to be the ones that always hold it together. So getting angry makes us look bad, like we’re falling apart. 

But we’re not. 

Here’s the truth: Anger is a very real and true emotion. And when we love someone suffering from addiction, anger is completely normal. 

In fact, if you think you’re not angry, I encourage you to take a deeper look at what’s really going on.

Today we’ll explore what’s underneath that anger. We’ll look at its roots, and find out how to use the anger for good. 

Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/why-anger-is-okay-and-how-to-use-it-for-good/

Join your community: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Oct 27 2019

4mins

Play

How To Let Go Of Using Addiction As An Excuse

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I love hearing stories. It’s so powerful, and these real life examples can open our eyes and hearts to our very own potential. 

Today, listen to our conversation with one of our brave Love Over Addiction sisters who shares about her relationship with a good man that drinks too much. 

She gets brutally honest with us about the baggage she brought from past relationships, how her husband has set boundaries on her, and how she’s come to a place of compassion and gratitude. 

She’s found her own happiness and continues to heal and recover, all the while she’s staying married, and her husband is still drinking. 

Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/addiction-as-excuse/

Join the sisterhood: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Oct 20 2019

43mins

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Learning To Trust Again

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Addiction lies. It has to in order to thrive. And we, as the partners, loved ones, and spouses, we get the brunt of these lies. 

Do you feel like you’re reading into everything, questioning each detail, asking clarifying questions, or wanting them to verify their story? Do you check their phone for ‘proof’ they’re telling the truth (or not)? 

I did. There’s no shame or judgment here. My ex-husband lied to me constantly. So I was always on guard. I had a strong intuition, but it was continually being tested. 

I felt like I was going crazy. I was exhausted. Can you relate? 

So one question I hear from women in our community all the time is this: “When can I trust again?” 

And that’s the question we’ll answer today. 

Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/learning-to-trust-again/

Join the community: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Oct 13 2019

8mins

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Their Long Road To Recovery And Yours Too

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When we love someone suffering from addiction, we deeply desire for them to get sober. We dream of the day they decide to be done with alcohol, drugs, pornography, or whatever else, for good. 

Well today, we hear from a woman in our community who’s been married for over 35 years. And her husband has been in and out of recovery for years. 

She’s learned to trust her intuition, come out of denial, and discover herself, whether he’s sober or not. It’s a daily challenge for him, but she has boundaries in place to protect herself, stay in her lane, and be happy, no matter what he’s choosing that day. 

Hear her story, and how she’s found compassion for her husband today. 

Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/their-long-road-to-recovery-and-yours-too

Join the community: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Oct 06 2019

59mins

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Two Simple Lessons When Your Partner Suffers From Addiction

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When we love someone suffering from addiction, it can be hard to see the light of day. Our once very accurate judgment and perception is now being manipulated into something else. 

I remember feeling so lost, thinking, “What is actually going on?” I felt crazy. Have you ever felt like that?  

As I started my own recovery and healing, I discovered that there are little tools and tricks that I could use in those moments to find clarity. To remind myself that I’m actually not crazy.

I used these tactics day in and day out when I was married to a good man suffering from addiction. So today I share two simple lessons with you that I was reminded of when my ceiling caved in a few weeks ago. 

Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/lessons-when-your-partner-suffers-from-addiction/

Join the sisterhood: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

Connect personally (and see the ceiling): https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Sep 29 2019

18mins

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Why It’s Okay To Change Your Mind

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Here’s the deal: you reserve the right to change your mind at any time, for any reason. 

Why is that important? Because if you’re anything like me, you put a lot of pressure on yourself to make the “right” choice. 

And sometimes you may even get stuck or frozen in indecision, because you’re too afraid of getting it ‘wrong’. There’s no judgment here. I’ve struggled with this all my life. 

Whether it’s coming from your inner perfectionist, pressures from society's expectations, or even friends and family, find out why it’s okay to get it ‘wrong’. 

And why we need to allow ourselves grace and space to mess up. 

Find more: https://loveoveraddiction.com/why-its-okay-to-change-your-mind/

Join our judgment-free community: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

Connect personally and see all the ways I get it ‘wrong’: https://instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Sep 22 2019

7mins

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Why You Need To Take Care Of Yourself Every Day

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When I was healing from loving a man suffering from addiction there was one thing that was part of all of my days: self-care.

And I know, I get it, self-care is all the rage right now. 

But self-care should meet your needs, and not necessarily be ‘trendy’.

My self-care right now is a bowl of ice cream and an episode on Netflix. My self-care has been physical movement, walking with my dog and kids, taking a bath with all my favorite soaps, among other things. 

My point is that it doesn’t matter what you do, but when you can do it every single day, you’ll have a breakthrough. 

For me, it helped me feel more calm, more available to handle the chaos that did come my way, and overall, more grounded. 

Find more details here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/take-care-of-yourself/

Join our community: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Sep 15 2019

9mins

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How To Listen To Your Whisper And Let Go Of The Voice Of Addiction

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Have you ever questioned whether to stay in your relationship or leave? It’s a big question. And that’s frankly an understatement. It’s a life-changing, wildly impactful decision of a lifetime. 

And listen, we never do judgment in this community. So whether you decide to stay or leave, that’s up to you. 

Today’s episode though, it’s about a whisper. A whisper within us that we may hear, or we may not be able to yet. The voice of addiction in our own heads is loud, ugly, demanding, and full of lies. It covers up our own voice. Our whisper within is clouded by the loud ugliness of our partner’s addiction. 

Learn how to uncover your whisper, and more importantly, listen to it. 

Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/listen-to-your-whisper/

Join the sisterhood: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Sep 08 2019

12mins

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A Simple Tool To Help When You Love Someone With Addiction

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Everything in our life is a season. Some seasons are longer than others, and some may be harder than others. 

No matter what ‘season’ we may be in, we learn tips and tools to help us along the way. 

When I was married to a good man that suffered from addiction, that was one of the hardest seasons of my life. I learned all kinds of tips and tools to handle the disease, and some of these, I still use to this day. 

Today I’d love to share with you one simple tool that you can use every single day. 

I used this tool when I was married to my ex-husband, and I started using it again recently when we moved into our new (99-year-old) house, and it started falling apart. 

Find more: https://loveoveraddiction.com/simple-tool/

Join the sisterhood: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Sep 01 2019

8mins

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How To Talk to Your Kids About Addiction

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Here’s the loving truth: when you have children living in this situation, with their parent (or step-parent) suffering from addiction, you’ve got work to do. 

You must be the strong and sober parent. You’ve got to protect them, teach them how to be safe, and educate them.

You must talk to them about addiction, no matter how awkward it may feel. And I totally understand having fears around it, I did too. 

But you can learn how to talk to them about it, and I have tips for you today. 

Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/talk-to-your-children-about-addiction/

Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Join the sisterhood: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

Aug 25 2019

13mins

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How to Create A Vision For Your Future (With or Without Them)

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I believe in dream boards (or vision boards). And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, just google it. 

They sound incredibly hokey. They sound woo-woo, they sound a little like, "What?" But I stand by them. In my life, I’ve always had at least one vision board. And I’ve got crazy stories about these vision boards throughout my life, which I share in the Love Over Addiction program. 

So today is all about your future. Why it’s important to dream, envision, imagine, and how to actually do that. It’s actually really hard for a lot of people, and it was at first for me too. 

Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/create-a-vision/

Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Join the sisterhood: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

Aug 18 2019

17mins

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How to Practice Self-Care During a Crisis

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Stick with me here, because I know self-care is a buzzword right now. I’m not about buzzwords, but I am all about you learning the tools you need to handle this disease. 

When we love someone suffering from addiction, our lives become chaotic and out of control. That’s just the way addiction works.  

So on today’s episode, we’ll dive deep into your self-care, and how to maintain it during a crisis. It’s an important skill, and worth having these tools in your back pocket for the next time there’s an especially chaotic time. Because addiction gets crazy, and our lives can get completely out of control. 

These are helpful tips for everyday life and during a crisis. 

Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/self-care-during-a-crisis/

Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Join the sisterhood: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

Aug 11 2019

19mins

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How To Choose Friends When You Love An Addict

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When we love someone suffering from addiction, we will eventually become completely isolated if we’re not already. That’s what addiction wants, and frankly, what it needs to thrive. 

As you know, we believe that we’re not powerless over this disease. There are things you can do to take your power back from addiction, and today is all about finding connection. 

Today I share tips on what kind of friends to look for (and what kind of people you want to avoid), so that you can create friendships and share your story (what’s really going on), with that special person, or two (three at most). 

Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/how-to-choose-friends/

Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Join the sisterhood: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

Aug 04 2019

14mins

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How To Create Your Team Of Experts

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Sometimes when we love someone suffering from addiction we can get into the mindset that it’s all on us. Everything falls on our shoulders, and we’re responsible for it all. 

And let’s be honest: many, many times, that is the case. We’re not in a ‘normal’ relationship. Our partners are suffering from addiction, which means that our lives are different. 

And here’s the deal: it can be really daunting to think about making all these changes and shifts to make a better life, so let’s break it down into bite-sized pieces. Those are the best, aren’t they? Pretzel bites? Anyone? 

Okay, moving on: this week I have one tip for you. It’s super simple, broken down with examples and stories so you can take it and implement it into your life this week. Enjoy!

Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/create-your-team-of-experts/

Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Join the sisterhood: https://loveoveraddiction.com/love-over-addiction/

Jul 28 2019

14mins

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The Enabling Behaviors You Need to Stop Now

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When we love someone suffering from addiction, we do our very best to help them. We try everything we can think of, read, or find on Google. We try it all. With the most pure and best intentions. We want our loved ones to get sober, and stay sober for good, right?

The reality is that all that energy we’re putting into our loved ones, we need to be putting into ourselves. Because addiction has hurt us too, and we deserve recovery. We deserve energy. We deserve grace.

Today you’ll learn about 12 behaviors you need to stop right now, today. And some of them may be harder than others, but you know that we’re honest in this community. I share loving truths with you to help your recovery and your healing, even when they may be hard to hear.

Find more: https://loveoveraddiction.com/stop-enabling-behaviors/

Join the sisterhood: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Jul 21 2019

7mins

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