Understanding Today's Narcissist

Part 3 of an interview with Dr. Nadine Macaluso, LMFT    

nmacaluso1@me.com                                  

Restoring Resilience

https://www.nadinemacaluso.com/

Part 2 of an interview with Dr. Nadine Macaluso, LMFT    

nmacaluso1@me.com                                  

Restoring Resilience

https://www.nadinemacaluso.com/

Part 1 of an interview with Dr. Nadine Macaluso, LMFT

nmacaluso1@me.com

Restoring Resilience

https://www.nadinemacaluso.com/

As sisters, Nicole and Sofi grew up in a two-parent, middle class family. From the outside looking in, things appeared normal and healthy. But for Sofi, life was very difficult. Her sister bullied her, stole prized possessions, would lie and blame Sofi for things that went wrong, physically hit her, and destroyed some of Sofi’s things. Yet, Nicole seemed to charm their parents, constantly making Sofi out to look like the dangerous one.

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It was a second marriage for Clark and Claudia so they were both prepared for a difficult first couple of years as they blended their families together. But what they did not expect was the added difficulty of Clark’s parents. He knew that they were narcissistic and even prepared Claudia for their limited encounters. However, the holidays brought out an intensity that Clark did not expect. It also was Clark’s birthday and his mother invited them by saying, “Only I know how to properly celebrate our special day.” The passive-aggressive comment was just the beginning of the strange behavior.

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Christine Hammond Interviews Chris and Lisa, Part 2

Christine Hammond Interviews Chris and Lisa, Part 1

After years of speculation, you have finally come to the realization that your boss is a narcissist.  Since this is not the type of economy where you can just leave your job and expect to get another one quickly, you find yourself stuck and miserable in a job that normally you would like except for your narcissistic boss. 

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There are bad bosses. The type that gets promoted without any managerial, interpersonal, or organizational skills. There are even scary bosses. The type that is unnecessarily threatening, overly aggressive, or ignorant to the point of causing others harm. But then there are the dark, sinister, or ominous bosses. This type is in a category all by themselves.

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Try to point out a narcissist’s mistakes and the attack is likely to be returned with force. Expect a narcissist to show understanding during a difficult time and the conversation will quickly be turned back towards the narcissist. Ask a narcissist to forgive an error in judgement and a detailed accounting of all blunders will be recounted.

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Since writing an article about parental alienation (What Parental Alienation Is and Is Not), several readers have asked for a follow-up article on how to prevent to minimize the damage of any alienation they have experienced. While others have said that parental alienation doesn’t happen, that it is pop-psychology, and it is not real.

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Katrina couldn’t believe how her friend was treating her husband at dinner. She was demanding, controlling, domineering, belittling, unrelenting, sarcastic, and unnecessarily rude. For some time now, Katrina suspected that her friend was narcissistic and after the evening they spent together, she was even more convinced.

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It was clear that after 7 years of marriage, Jack and Jill still loved each other. But they way they solved problems, or rather, the way they didn’t solve problems, was destroying their marriage. The last argument ended in a physical altercation and a wrestling match that left them ashamed and humiliated. Neither had ever engaged in this manner before so the shock of how quickly they escalated took them by surprise.

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It finally hit. After years of wondering what was wrong, who was crazy, and how this could have happened, the reality of abusive behavior hits like a ton of bricks. The insight is simultaneously overwhelming, shocking, frustrating, disgusting, and demeaning. But there it is the answer that was longed for but may never have been fully considered until this moment. Then everything became clear.

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Kathy woke-up startled to hear her phone ring so at 5 am, with COVID-19 and a stay-at-home order in place, she was immediately worried. On the line calling her was her narcissistic dad, which he hadn’t done since she left home, so she was immediately on high alert.

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Having grown up in an abusive family and now in a relationship with an abusive wife, Bradon believed the excuses constantly dished out to him by his abusive mother and wife. Beaten down, confused, hazy, and exhausted, he sought out help from a therapist. At first, he could not comprehend that he was the victim of abuse. He believed the lies that he was to blame. He thought abuse was only physical. But then Brandon learned it could also be verbal, emotional, mental, sexual, spiritual, and financial.

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Ever wondered what abuse sounds like? What do abusers say to their victims to get them to acquiesce? Some of the statements listed below might even sound acceptable in certain environments, but they are not. Abusive behavior is pervasive and without awareness, it will continue.

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As a general rule, people with personality disorders can be difficult to get along or maintain a healthy relationship with. They can be argumentative, stubborn, and frustrating if there is a lack of understanding about what a PD really means or how it manifests itself in an individual. A person with a PD has an inaccurate perception of reality which is pervasive in every environment and is not diagnosed until 18 years old. However, there always is a previous history of five years giving indications that a person has a PD before their formal diagnosis that can still help those around them identify the issue.

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Eventually, as is the case in everyone’s life, whether it be a family member, co-worker, neighbor, or friend, you will come across a person with a personality disorder (PD). Although it can usually be hard to discern if a person has a PD at the beginning of the relationship, its presence will soon come to light. Having an accurate understanding of both what a personality disorder is and where it may be coming from is essential to keep the frustration of navigating them to a minimum.

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After being married to a narcissistic wife for over 10 years and quarantined at home with her for the last several weeks, Ben had enough. His whole body started to reject his spouse’s self-centeredness by plaguing him with intense pain and repeated anxiety attacks that he could no longer ignore. He wanted to go to the doctor but his symptoms didn’t constitute an office visit. Instead via Telehealth, his doctor concluded that the pain and anxiety were psychosomatic.

This, of course, infuriated him even more.

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