Rank #1: 65: Dealing With Challenges In Relationships with Andrew
There are many common, limiting beliefs when it comes to love and romance. One belief is the success of a relationship is based on the time it lasts. So, if there is a breakup or divorce, the relationship was considered a failure. Or, if you love someone, you must love them unconditionally and stay with them, for better or for worse, no matter what. Another limiting belief is, the purpose of a romantic relationship is to find THE one who completes you.
In today’s coaching session, we bust through the limiting beliefs to get down to love and truth. Today’s caller, Andrew, finds himself at a challenging crossroads in his marriage. He would like to know how to be supportive to his wife after her recent cancer diagnosis without becoming a doormat.
Andrew shared he is working towards a growth mindset, and up until now his wife has had more of a victim mindset. While I only got to hear one side, I didn’t hear any blame or resentment from Andrew as he shared his story, so I sense his description of the situation is fairly accurate. That is why I coached him to love his wife, to support her and to hold space for her, as she and the entire family process this diagnosis. And in time, have a heart-to-heart with her about how they plan to journey through this Expectation Hangover together.
Diagnoses can be an opportunity for deep healing and transformation. Sometimes, what is for the highest good is not always the easiest or most obvious choice. I coached Andrew through the distinction of spiritual connection and spiritual bypass. It basically comes down to love and truth. Andrew loves his wife, but in truth, they may be growing in different directions. Does this mean the relationship should end? I don’t believe in shoulds. People in a relationship can be growing at different speeds, but still along the same path.
Remember, spirituality is not tolerating people treating us the way they want to treat us. Love and truth go together. Self-honoring choices are often for the highest good of all, and that is the ultimate high road. We can love, encourage, support, and be an example for people, but we can not save anyone else, that is up to them.
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And, I will be in Sydney, Australia for another amazing Mastermind, possibly a training, and half- and full-day intensives. My visit will focus on the needs of small business owners or those of you transitioning into a new career. You could benefit from a session if you are dealing with fear, are getting in your own way or are ready to take your business to the next level. Send an email to Jill@Christinehassler.com ASAP for more information.
- What soul lessons are you currently learning from your relationship or relationship status?
- Are you making your relationship with yourself or your higher power a priority?
- Are any of your relationships at a point where you are growing in a different direction from each other?
- Do you wonder if being there for someone else in a supportive way is putting your own needs at risk?
- What is the difference between having a spiritual orientation to your relationship, and doing a spiritual bypass and becoming a bit of a doormat?
Andrew’s relationship is experiencing trials and tribulations. He would like to know how to spiritually cope with his wife’s recent thyroid cancer diagnosis.
Andrew's Key Insights and Ahas:
- His wife’s hormones have been elevated due to a thyroid problem.
- He feels spirituality calling him.
- It’s not his responsibility to save his wife.
- He has recently started a spiritual practice.
- He doesn’t believe his wife is a willing participant in the relationship.
- His current lesson may not yet be resolved.
- It is now up to him to re-parent himself.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
- He should write his wife a letter to share what feels about her and how the diagnosis may be a wake up call to stay committed to working on their relationship. Also, let her know he can not do it alone.
- He should hug his wife every day.
- He needs to take 100% responsibility for his 50%.
Assignments and Takeaways:
- Look back at your romantic relationships to see what lessons you have learned. Write down how each partner has been a soul mate.
- Nurture a relationship with a higher power.
- Do something intentional and devotional every day for someone you care about.
- If there is a difficult conversation you need to have, write a letter and either read the letter to the person or give it to them.
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Dec 07 2016
Rank #2: 71: I Am Afraid of Losing What I Love! With Nicole
Today’s episode is about being confident in your current relationship. During this coaching session with Nicole, she tells me she is in her first serious romantic relationship, and she is afraid she is going to sabotage it. Nicole is to be acknowledged for her level of awareness and coachability during this call. It was fun to work with her to update her belief systems and to get her excited about learning how to be in a relationship. One thing we didn’t talk about was her possible “Upper Limits” issue. Nicole is getting more love and emotional availability than she ever has before, which is what she wants; she just doesn’t know what to do with it. I wanted to empower Nicole to enjoy the relationship she’s in, because it’s important to know the difference between when it’s time to go back into our past and chip away at something, and when it’s time to get over it and on with our lives. So, we worked on Nicole’s belief systems, and I allowed her to adopt a beginner’s mind. She didn’t have a healthy model for being in a romantic relationship, so I recommended she learn about what a healthy romantic relationship is. Get my guide, 6 Steps to Intuitive Decision Making, free when you check out my fresh and updated website. My Inner Circle membership community is growing quickly. It’s a place you can hang out with like-minded people, where you get access to one-on-one coaching calls, my customized, guided meditations and visualizations, and lifestyle practices. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com, with any questions you may have.* There are only 2 spots left for my Women’s Spring Retreat March 10-12. Sign up today, so you don’t miss out. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Is there something in your life you are afraid of losing? ● Do you feel new at something, and feel you should just know how to do it? ● Are you aware or think you have some limiting beliefs from your past that are negatively impacting your current situation? Nicole's Question: Nicole would like to know why she feels triggered to leave romantic relationships. Nicole's Key Insights and Ahas: ● She’s afraid of losing the things she cares about. ● She felt her parents were emotionally unavailable. ● She feels it’s better to be alone than to feel disconnected when she’s with someone. ● She gets panicked in the moment. ● She will try enjoying her relationship more. How to Get Over It and On With It: ● She should reprogram her brain with her new belief system. ● When she feels panicked she should place one hand on her heart and one on her belly, and ask, “What do I need, right now?” ● She should get books to help her learn about love and relationships. ● She should have patience, get excited, and have fun. Assignments: ● Are you having an Upper Limits issue? Check out The Big Leap, by
Gay Hendricks and listen to my Upper Limits Coaches Corner. Make a list of all the reasons you deserve the good things that are happening to you. ● Update and reframe your belief systems. Go to Byron Katie’s The Work for free worksheets. ● Have a beginner’s mind. Sponsor: ONNIT: Get a 10% discount on your order by using this link. Freshbooks: Get a Free 30-Day Unrestricted Trial to Online Accounting Software. Enter “Over It and On With It” in the ‘How did you hear about us?’ section. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Assist@ChristineHassler.com - Send your questions to Christine anytime. David Deida Alison Armstrong Harville Hendricks
Jan 18 2017
Rank #3: 72: How to Commit and Take Action Toward Your Passion With Emily
Today’s episode is about finding your true purpose, and how it relates to your career. Emily is longing for more confidence, and to show up more consistently in her work. She wants to feel more connected to her purpose and the people she feels called to serve. During the call, I switched roles with Emily, because when she felt like she was on the spot, her self-judgment took over, and she couldn’t get to the level of clarity she wanted to. She kept coming up with reasons why she’s not consistent and sharing scares her. Ask yourself, what are you not doing that you know you should be doing? With what are you inconsistent? Often, we are not all in, because we don’t have a big enough why. And, without a big enough why, or a big enough vision, we lack motivation and inspiration. We all have to process enough of our pain to re-orient to be pulled by a vision. If you really wanted to be doing something consistently, you would be doing it. The only true and pure purpose of life is to grow and become more aware of the love and the oneness that we are. But for most of us, that understanding is not fulfilling enough. We yearn to share and express our love in some way. And like Emily, we feel called to make a meaningful impact in the world. And, please, please, please give me some feedback. I created a special survey, just for my listeners, and I would really appreciate it if you would take 2-5 minutes to fill it out to let me know what you like about the show, and what you want to hear more of. Women with a Vision Mastermind features brilliant speakers, and will cover building a heart-based business, accessing your intuition, embracing your feminine power, and creating an action plan to drive your vision forward. May 5-8th, 2017 in N. Carolina. Early bird pricing is available until March 7th. Go here for more info: https://sacredplanet.samcart.com/referral/5ikUEXGB/739197 Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Is consistency an obstacle for you when it comes to taking action? ● Does striving for perfection stop you from taking action? ● Do you know what you should do, but just aren’t doing it? ● What is your why? Do you have a vision that pulls you forward? Emily's Question: Emily is looking for guidance on how to be more open with her clients. Emily's Key Insights and Ahas: ● She feels people won’t take her seriously. ● She is inconsistent in her business. ● She is self-absorbed and lacks a why. ● She lacks self-acceptance. ● She has unresolved pain from her past. ● She’s on a mission to figure out who she authentically is. How to Get Over It and On With It: ● She needs to write out her why. ● She should commit to a consistent social media plan. ● She needs to meditate and create her ideal client avatar. Takeaways: ● Be honest with yourself about which pains are still pushing you. ● Get clear about your why. ● Join my Inner Circle community. Sponsor: Daily Energy — Get 30% off of Daily Energy. It’s the simplest life hack you can do for your health this year. Audible — Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial. I highly recommend Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Assist@ChristineHassler.com - Send your questions to Christine anytime.
Jan 25 2017
Rank #4: CC: Get it Done! How to Stop Procrastinating and Get Over Feeling Blocked with Samantha Bennett
Originally from Chicago, Samantha Bennett is a writer, speaker, actor, teacher and creativity/productivity specialist and the author of the bestselling, "Get It Done: From Procrastination to Creative Genius in 15 Minutes a Day" (New World Library). She is the creator of the www.TheOrganizedArtistCompany.com, dedicated to helping creative people get unstuck, especially by helping them focus and move forward on their goals. Now based in a tiny beach town outside of Los Angeles, CA, Bennett offers workshops, keynotes and private consulting. She also makes a heck of a roast chicken. Her latest book is, "Start Right Where You Are: How Little Changes Can Make a Big Difference for Overwhelmed Procrastinators, Frustrated Overachievers and Recovering Perfectionists" (New World Library, Nov. 2016)
Oct 15 2016
Rank #5: 66: How to Feel More Confident and Take Action with Teisha
Confidence is not something you can develop just by sitting in your house, thinking about all the things you will do when you feel more confident. Confidence is developed by going out and doing those things. Just like we gain courage by feeling fear, and then taking action anyway. We begin to feel more confident, when we actually do things we feel insecure about. In today’s coaching session with Teisha, she would like to know how she can gain more confidence, and how she can truly believe she is a prize. We also discover why confidence has been a struggle for her up until now. She wasn’t ready to learn the lesson of confidence. Having an understanding of our past is so important to move us forward. During our session, Teisha acknowledged she is safe. That was her key elementary lesson. After recognizing it, her entire energy shifted. She was able to release the judgment of not feeling more confident. It’s hard to develop a new quality, when we are judging ourselves so harshly about not being good at it. Coaches, managers, parents, and teachers take note — I got super specific with Teisha about the action steps she was committing to. When walking someone through behavior changes, you want to help them with clear, measurable steps they feel truly committed to. Is avoiding short-term pain preventing you from long-term happiness and fulfillment? What feels worse — experiencing failure and/or rejection, or never stepping into your full potential? Failure is not bad. Failure is necessary if you want to learn, grow, change, and get the things you want from life. So is perceived rejection; if you spend your life avoiding nos, you will never get yeses. Would you like a behind the scenes look into all of my #lifehacks and to join my Inner Circle? The Inner Circle is a membership community where you get access to one-on-one coaching calls, my guided meditations and visualizations, and lifestyle practices. Also, I will be in Australia for a Business Training/Mastermind on personal and professional development. This training is perfect for you if you are a health coach, a life coach or entrepreneur. You could benefit from a session if you are dealing with fear, are getting in your own way, or are ready to take your business to the next level. Send an email to Jill@Christinehassler.com ASAP, for more information. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Would you like to have more confidence? Do you spend more time thinking about the things you would like to do, than actually doing them? ● Are you terrified of rejection and failure? ● Did you grow up not feeling safe, loved, or seen? ● How are you at keeping your word with yourself? When you commit to something, do you actually do it? Teisha's Question: Teisha is constantly doubting herself, and would like to know how she can get more self-confidence. Teisha's Key Insights and Ahas: ● Her self-doubt serves her by protecting her from the pain of failure. ● She has a lot of ‘what if’ questions. ● She didn’t feel safe growing up, but has kept herself safe as an adult. ● She will take action and go to a meetup group event, apply for employment outside of her comfort zone, and join a yoga class. ● She wants to be part of a movement to change perceptions about women and work. ● She knows she is a prize and a great person with a good heart. How to Get Over It and On With It: ● She should be curious about the people she encounters. ● She should be honest and vulnerable when she meets new people. ● She should give herself compliments and really mean them. ● She should ask herself if it serves her to believe the lies she told herself. ● She should give herself the spiritual and physical gift of yoga. Assignments and Takeaways: ● Is there something you need to feel or experience, before stepping into confidence? Can you accept you are ready to move to the next lesson? Can you see you’ve done what you needed to do, and are ready for the next step? ● Write down a list of all the unique qualities and gifts that make you, you. ● Get out of your comfort zone. Do things you may not be good at, or that may be embarrassing. ● Commit to taking action steps to create the feeling and experience of confidence. Make the steps measurable, specific, and give yourself a timeline. ● Consider joining my Inner Circle, where developing confidence will be an upcoming project. Sponsor: Audible - Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial. I’m reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. Why not make this book your first download? Resources: Christine Hassler Expectation Hangover Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com
Dec 14 2016
Rank #6: 52: Can You Change Someone? With Linsey
Today’s caller, Linsey, is concerned her boyfriend may have an addiction to alcohol. She loves him and believes that if he can change they may be able to take their relationship to the next level. She thinks her problem is in her relationship but as our coaching session shows, it has very little to do with her partner and more to do with something deep within herself. You cannot change other people. Your desire to change and heal yourself should not be attached to changing someone else. Focus only on yourself. It is important to make healthy changes, even if it feels really scary. Unhealthy lifestyles feel familiar and safe because we have been in them for so long. It is crucial to find professional support and to be held accountable when we start making changes. It is difficult for us to do this on our own. Our ego doesn’t like it when we change because it craves certainty. And, as we start to grow in consciousness, the ego starts to hold on a little tighter. If listening to this call was uncomfortable for you or if it brought up some awareness around your own addictions, consider what you may be using to avoid feeling and dealing. This is why I am creating an Over It and On With It course to give you tools and resources to feel, deal and heal. Coaches — I could have coached Linsey to get out of her relationship. Personally, I hope she does distance herself from it to focus on her own healing. But, if I coached her in that direction she may have shut down. She said she loves him even though she knows he’s an addict. She feels safe being a co-dependent in the relationship due to her relationship with her mother. I didn’t want her ego to take over and for her to get defensive. It may not have been possible for her to get to the deeper awareness she reached during the call. It’s important to give someone the dignity of their process, instead of encouraging them to make a move they may not be ready to make. Would you like to connect to who you really are and discover your Secret Sauce? There is a free video training series on my site to help you build your business or obtain your desires from the inside out. Your Secret Sauce is a unique combination of your experience, talents, life lessons and passions, which can help you to feel a sense of belonging and confidence. Go to www.christinehassler.com/ss to get the free videos. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Are you in a relationship with someone and hope they will change? ● Are you in a relationship with an addict? Are you using an external coping strategy to distract yourself from dealing with something you don’t want to face? ● Do you acknowledge that you may have tendencies towards co-dependency? ● Is your ego feeling dark, and would you like to feel more connected to your soul? Linsey's Question: Linsey is concerned her current relationship may be following the same path as her past relationships, and she is unsure about the future. Linsey's Key Insights and Aha’s: ● She realizes she has co-dependency issues ● She wants her partner to change ● She knows she has walked on eggshells around her mother ● She uses food and television as numbing agents ● She became super-independent because she doesn't believe she can count on anyone else ● She knows she should disconnect from her relationship but doesn't want to ● She can heal this issue How to get over it and on with it: ● She should be honest about who her partner really is ● She needs to deal with the hurt inside herself ● She needs professional help by way of a 12-step program or a therapist ● She should make a 1-year commitment to not take actions that can’t be done ● She should incorporate a spiritual practice into her life Assignments and Takeaways: ● Take a serious look at your coping devices. Are they addictions or in the danger zone of becoming addictions? ● Take an honest look at your relationships. Ask people close to you what they notice about your relationships. ● Write a list of the things you desire and what you think will make you feel better. ● Ask the universe to guide you to the help you need and want. Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link. Audible - Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Secret Sauce Training Series Christine Hassler Free E-book @chrishassler on Snapchat @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com
Sep 07 2016
Rank #7: 42: Dealing with Transitions and Figuring Out Next Steps
We all go through different phases in life such as graduating, finding our first job, a mid-life crisis, marriage, having a child, starting a company, retiring, etc. There are also different seasons in life to go through which come more frequently than phases. Like the times when we are busy at work, slowed down because of an illness, distracted by a relationship or just going through internal growth; and things that require us to change our pace or priorities. Consider this, life of an athlete, metaphor shared with me by my friend Lewis Howes. You are not always in the play-offs. In fact, you would burn out if you were. There is a training season, game season, the play-offs and then of course, offseason. To play at their best, players respect the season they are in. It’s important that we respect the seasons we are in to be our best in life. As I have said before, we often wear our busyness like a badge of honor. Somehow we have made doing, doing, doing greater than being, being, being. We are constantly going for things as a distraction. When we are consistently going for the next big thing we don’t have to feel the little things (that are really big things) we sweep under the rug because we just don’t want to deal with them. AND, we are addicted to control. We are great at putting time and energy into the results we want. The more effort we put into getting what we want the more we feel entitled to get the results. When we get what we go after, we win. It brings a sense of security and accomplishment. We feel safe and on track and we want more. But why do we want more? Because it gives us the feeling of control and we love control because the unknown is downright scary. The truth is we really don’t have control over our lives. And nothing illuminates that truth more brightly than an expectation hangover. Today’s caller, Lisa, relates to being a doer and an overachiever. She wants to know what her next big thing is. Even though she may not have given herself time to experience some recent transitions and expectation hangovers in her life. As our souls grow, our higher self and our inner wisdom know exactly when the right time is to process something. Sometimes we are not ready to deal with something. Sometimes we don’t remember something until later. But when it does start to come up, it is so, so crucial that we respect it and be with it. Coach’s Tip - Coaches may notice my style is a bit different in this call. I could sense Lisa is a highly, intelligent woman who likes to figure things out. And, because I knew figuring things out was of value to her, I wanted her to have the experience of figuring things out but in a different way. It was important she connected to her own inner wisdom about what she really needed. It was simply my job to hold the space for her and to ask her questions. Remember, realizations people come to on their own are profound. I have a free gift for all of my podcast listeners. Here is how to receive my free ebook and meditation downloads. I also invite you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which includes meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. There are only 3 reservations left. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join any of my events or business programs. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you going through a transition and trying to “figure out” your next steps? Do you respect the seasons of your life or are you consistently putting yourself in the play-offs? Have you ever been called or referred to yourself as a control freak? Do you relate to being more of a doer than a feeler? Lisa's Question: Several major changes in Lisa’s life have her confused about where to go and what to do next. Lisa's Key Insights and Aha’s: She identifies with being an overachiever She may be avoiding things she doesn’t want to deal with by keeping herself busy It’s uncomfortable for her to feel in a child’s role and not in control She is looking for validation She knows she needs to give her heart more space and honor her feelings How to get over it and on with it: She should create a space so her higher self can come forward and feel She should parent herself to help her to deal with her many losses She should let her heart break wide open and start feeling Allow her mind to be a servant to her heart She should have deep gratitude for where she is right now Assignments and Takeaways: Make sure you make time for yourself. The better parent you are to yourself the better parent you will be to your children. Be attuned to the triggers or memories your children may cause in you. Children are our spiritual teachers. Ask yourself if there is some healing you need to do. Don’t be scared of letting your heart break wide open. Remember that underneath anger or hurt is love. Let your mind be a servant of your heart. Don’t let your mind be your master. A meditation practice of just 5 minutes a day will help you attune to your own inner wisdom and heart. Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book Expectation Hangover @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com
Jun 29 2016
Rank #8: EP 117: Moving From Awareness About Your Issues to Actually Making Changes with Natalie
This episode is about moving from awareness to integration. Todays caller, Natalie, has been on the path of personal growth for two years but is finding it difficult to integrate her new awareness and make real change happen in her life. Awareness is great but its only a step to actually making changes in our lives. We have to take awareness and shift it into changes changes in the way we think, changes in the way we react and process our feelings
Dec 06 2017
Rank #9: CC: The Art of Letting Go
In this episode of Coaches Corner Christine teaches you how to truly let go of what you want. She explains why to get what you want, you have to not want it. Learn how attachment to results happens and why it actually sabotages what we truly desire.
Apr 14 2018
Rank #10: 46: Should You Stay or Go? When to End a Relationship with Corinna
Today’s caller, Corinna, is deciding whether or not to stay in her marriage. Many of us often struggle with whether to stay or go in a relationship. Sometimes the answer is clear, but often it is not. First, there is the love and the history of a relationship including shared assets, children and pets. Second, there is the uncertainty that goes along with making the decision. Ending any type of relationship is not easy and making the choice to do it is hard. We often look for reasons to blame the other person. We collect evidence against them so our decision to leave is easier. We want to be happy and we think leaving the relationship is the answer. But, just leaving on the energy of blame and rebellion is not enough and does not give the opportunity to learn the lessons the relationship is there to teach us. If we end something out of fear annoyance or blame, we will have to learn the same lesson over again, with someone else. I’ve heard people use the advice that the best way to get over someone is to get over someone else. That’s terrible advice. You only end up using the person you are getting over and once all the hormones wear off, you will be left with the same unresolved stuff you didn’t deal with in the previous relationship. You may then think you keep picking the wrong person, but in reality, the common denominator in the relationship is you. Don’t do a reactionary breakup. Don’t leave because you refuse to take an honest look at your side of the street. Stop resisting the learning and stop blaming the other person. When we feel blocked about making a choice, it’s often because we are not ready to make it. I invite you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which includes meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. There are only 2 reservations left. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join any of my events or business programs. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you currently in a relationship and questioning whether to stay or go? Is there a big decision you are struggling with that you want clarity on? Are there similar patterns that come up in all of your relationships? Have you done self-work that makes you an incredible partner to yourself and consequently to another? Is there something in your life you are missing or not feeling and you are blaming your partner for it? Corinna's Question: Corinna is having issues in her marriage. She feels she is isolating herself and is uncertain about her decision to stay married. Corinna's Key Insights and Aha’s: She already knows what her decision is She limits herself but blames her husband She’s gotten lost in her roles of wife and mother She is scared but relieved to start knowing herself There’s a lot she hasn’t been facing How to get over it and on with it: She should read the book Codependent No More Find a counselor or coach to look at how she can show up differently Give herself permission to not make the decision right now Invest time and energy into her own discovery Turn down the volume of the opinions of others Look at her husband through eyes of observation instead of judgment Assignments and Takeaways: If you are struggling with a decision, put it on hold. Make the choice not to choose. Stop talking about your struggles with other people. Focus on listening to your own inner knowing. If you are in a relationship, look at your partner through eyes of observation instead of judgement. Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book @chrishassler on Snapchat @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com
Jul 27 2016
Rank #11: 30: The Fear of Being Alone: How to Get Over It!
There is a difference between being alone and feeling the pain of loneliness. We do not have to suffer from the pain of loneliness if we are enjoying a connected relationship with our self and a higher power. We are never really alone, and the illusion of the separation of God, higher power source or universe, is one of the core misunderstandings we are all here to overcome. If we tell ourselves things like “I’m alone, I hate being by myself, something must be wrong with me, I really need to be with other people”, then, of course we feel the pain of loneliness. It’s very human to want to be connected and to make sure we are getting our soul food by spending time with people we love. Feeling isolated or disconnected is incredibly hard. But sometimes it is the pain of loneliness that inspires us to do the work to nurture a better relationship with our self, or to create or deepen a spiritual connection. This is exactly what is on the soul agenda for today’s caller, Christina. Her question initially is about the assumptions she’s making that are sabotaging her relationship, but her core issue is fear of being alone. She has a track record of being in toxic relationships or relationships she truly doesn’t want to be in just because it was better than being on her own. Remember you are never truly alone. You are always connected to infinite and unconditional love from God. I invite all of you to join me September 16-22 for my retreat in magical Bali which will include meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join the festivities or to join me in Los Angeles in July for my signature retreat. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Is your fear of being alone so considerable that you jump from relationship to relationship? ● Do you hesitate to do things alone? ● Are you terrified you will end up old and alone? ● Do you only feel safe when you are with another person? ● Are you longing for a deeper connection to yourself and a higher power so you do not have to experience the pain of loneliness or separation? Christina’s Question: Christina feels she is sabotaging her relationship by assuming this partner will do the same things as her previous partner. Christina’s Key Insights and Aha’s: ● She panics when she thinks of being alone ● She is trying to learn how to be in a relationship with herself ● She grew up with a fear of losing the people she loved ● She settles in relationships to keep herself from being alone How to get over it and on with it: ● Redefine what being alone is ● Create a feeling of safety without having someone else there ● Have honest communication with her partner about taking a break ● Bring a spiritual practice into her life ● Apply her own calming tactics into her own life Tools and Takeaways: ● Understand your default pattern when you feel lonely. What can you tell yourself instead of going into your default pattern? ● Think of someone you speak highly of and then talk about yourself the same way. You deserve to be the recipient of loving, self-talk. ● Cultivate a spiritual practice. ● Make connections with soul friends and your soul family. Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link (including my favorite Alpha Brain). Resources: Christine Hassler Expectation Hangover @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com
Apr 07 2016
Rank #12: EP 91: Stop Sabotaging Your Relationship with Samantha
This episode is about being able to accept love. Today’s caller, Samantha is in a new loving relationship but has anxiety about it which is causing her to push her partner away. Ultimately, she fears she will sabotage the relationship.
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode91]
When we lack self-love and acceptance we doubt our own lovability. When what we really want is coming to us we get scared and push it away, because we doubt our own lovability. When we doubt our own lovability it makes us do some sabotaging things when it comes to relationships.
I gave Samantha some practical behavioral shifts, because awareness alone does not create change. If we think our past is part of who we are, we will never be truly free of it. We need to get the point where we realize the past is the past. It happened but it doesn’t have to be who we are.
Many times when we have a difficult experience in our past, we hold on to it because having it gets us pity, love, compassion, and attention from others. On an unconscious level, we hang on to it because we think it is how we can get compassion and be connected to people. When we hold on to our story too much, it gets us in a trap of consistently attempting to heal the past, rather than make the behavioral choices that create what we want in the present and for the future.
Eventually, you have to drop the story.
You’ll notice I used a tough-love approach when coaching Samantha. To understand why I did it and the profound shifts that can occur because of it, check out my Coaches Corner — Tough Love and People who Have Helped Me in Profound Ways. In last week’s Coaches Corner, I interviewed my friend Amanda Steinberg, author of Worth It. The episode is about embracing your relationship with money. And, don’t miss this week’s Coaches Corner with thought leader Danielle Laporte.
● Do you want love, especially in the form of a romantic relationship, but it scares you?
● Are you in a romantic relationship now, and engaging in sabotaging behavior?
● Have you talked about your past and your story, but things aren’t shifting for you? Is the anxiety you feel about being in a relationship still there?
● Are you willing to get out of your comfort zone to break some patterns? Even if it’s scary?
Samantha would like to know how to be free of the fear and anxiety she is feeling in her new relationship.
Samantha’s Key Insights and Ahas:
● She’s afraid of being hurt.
● She puts up a wall and shuts down when speaking with her new partner.
● She is trying to protect herself.
● She still identifies with her story.
● She is giving the people from her past too much power in her current life.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
● She needs to go back and deal with her past.
● To move to the next phase she needs to change her behavior.
● She should do release writing when instead of zoning out.
● She needs to understand she is not alone.
● She needs to do the opposite of her current conditioned response.
● Take a look at your old story about love; write it out. What are you still carrying around from your past, you keep playing out? Make a list of the things you think are protecting you.
● It’s time to break patterns and shift your behaviors. You have to lean in and get a little uncomfortable, if you want change to happen.
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Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler
Jun 07 2017
Rank #13: EP 157: Trust Yourself, Stop Caring What Others Think and Feel Your Feelings with Steve
The heart of this coaching session is about self-compassion. Steve has been in his masculine and repressing his pain for much of his life. Another level of his pain is surfacing and that’s because his unconscious knows he is ready to deal with it. If you are at a point in your life where you feel like you have done a lot of personal growth work but pain is resurfacing in your life you do not want to miss this episode. It takes a lot of energy to
Sep 12 2018
Rank #14: EP108: Trusting Your Intuition in Love & Relationships with Sandra
This episode is about listening to your intuition and getting clear about what you want from a relationship. Todays caller, Sandra, realizes she may want to continue her current relationship due to familiarity or comfort and not because it is truly what she wants from a relationship. Be mindful of what you are scared of and what you are making your number one fear. Sandras fear of losing herself should have been the fear she is paying attention to.
Oct 04 2017
Rank #15: CC: Breakup Recovery with Chris Seiter
Chris Seiter is a professional relationship consultant specializing in breakups. He teaches men and women how to get over a breakup or even how to get back with an ex if the situation calls for it. He has been featured in publications like YourTango, Elite Daily, She Knows, Readers Digest and LifeHack. You can learn more about him at www.exboyfriendrecovery.com and www.exgirlfriendrecovery.com.
Nov 26 2016
Rank #16: 51: Dealing with FOMO and Feeling Not Enough – Especially After a Breakup with Emma
This episode is for anyone who feels like they are missing out, they are being left behind, they are not enough or they do not belong.
Today’s caller, Emma, is feeling left out and resentment towards friends who are continuing their relationships with her ex after their breakup. Her frustrations are bringing up old issues she has been carrying around for a long time. We uncover the constant moving she went through as a child is still a core issue for her.
It’s important to remember not to minimize things from your past. As a human, there are things you have gone through that are challenging. Things that happen can create certain belief systems and misunderstandings that perpetuate patterns, behaviors and reactions you don’t like.
Resentment and anger protect us from our deeper feelings. It’s easier to feel mad about something than it is to feel the hurt of being left out. We all want to feel connected and that we belong. Feeling separate in any way is painful and it reinforces the core misunderstanding we are separate from God, separate from the universe or separate from each other. Healing that wound allows us to feel we are not separate and to feel we are connected.
If you have standards or conditions about what it takes for you to be good enough, know that you are good enough just the way you are.
Connect to who you really are and discover your Secret Sauce with the 4-video training series I put on my site for you. Your secret sauce is a unique combination of your experience, talents, life lessons and passions that can help you feel a sense of belonging and confidence. Go to www.christinehassler.com/ss
I invite you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which includes meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. There are only 2 reservations left. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join any of my events or business programs.
- How often do you experience FOMO (fear of missing out)? Have you just gone through a breakup and are having a hard time with all the transitions and all the loss?
- Are you having challenges with sharing friends after a breakup? Do you want your friends to pick sides?
- Do you feel the pressure to pick sides if you ARE the friend of a couple who recently broke up?
Emma is having difficulty releasing her emotions, which are triggered by her jealousy and frustration over shared friendships after her breakup.
Emma's Key Insights and Aha’s:
- She’s got a bad case of FOMO
- She has always been hypersensitive about being left out
- She has always felt like she needed to catch up
- She feels frustration, anger and resentment
- She feels relief being able to tie this experience back to core issues
How to get over it and on with it:
- She can just be herself and be enough through self-acceptance
- Let her younger self know there is nothing she needs to do to fit in
- She should find a spiritual practice and talk to God and the Universe
- She should free herself up emotionally so new soul friends can come into her life
Assignments and Takeaways:
- Look for ways you are trying to fit in or pretend to be someone you are not, and think of how you can show up as fully yourself.
- Work with your limiting beliefs about being left out. Go back and talk to your younger self and make sure that part of you knows that you do belong.
- Consider how your spiritual practice is not just about how you connect to a higher power inside you. It’s about connection and love to the oneness we all are.
- Practice the horseback rider technique from Expectation Hangover when you experience your limiting beliefs. Re-direct your thoughts to “I belong”.
- If you are going through a breakup, don’t make your friends pick sides.
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Aug 31 2016
Rank #17: Coaches Corner: How to manifest and co-create your year
The New Year comes with the tradition of making resolutions, which are usually promises to do something “more, better, or different.” We vow to exercise more, get a better job, meditate regularly, fall in love, or find a different way to handle our stress. But does this really do us any good? Most of us start the New Year with the greatest of intentions, yet by March (or even by the second week in January) we may not find ourselves so resolved. We revert back to old patterns and beat ourselves up for not sticking to our resolutions. Could there be a way to ring in the year that serves us better? YES! And it has been my New Year ritual for the past ten years which I share in todays’ Coaching Corner. NOTE: you can do this process ANYTIME during the year because it is always a good time to consciously let go of what is not serving you so then you can intentionally co-create your dreams and desires.
Jan 09 2016
Rank #18: 78: How to Know if Leaving a Relationship is the Right Thing to Do with Anna
This episode is about being conflicted when making a choice. Today’s caller, Anna, wants to leave her marriage but is unsure as to whether or not it is “the right thing to do.” [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode78] There is no right or wrong when it comes to ending anything. Giving up or getting out of something just because it’s hard or takes work is quitting, but opting out of something because it doesn’t align with your core values is a self-honoring choice. So, how do you know if you are quitting or giving up too early, versus when something has reached its expiration date? I believe any relationship takes work, and can be transformed, but sometimes it doesn’t serve either partner to stay together just because they made a commitment, if there is a drastic difference in values and vision. And, having guilt is useless. We feel guilty when we judge ourselves for doing something “bad or wrong,” and we think to suffer through the feeling of guilt somehow makes it better. If you are not married yet, my advice is to wait to marry until you are in a place where you are not looking for someone to fill a void or to meet a need, but rather someone to share your life with. Trusting ourselves is important. If you want to live in integrity, you have to have self-trust. You can learn ways to trust yourself in my Inner Circle private membership community. Retreat Information — Bali is a place of healing. I have been visiting for 10 years, so my retreats offer an authentic Balinese experience, in addition to the retreat work. Enrollment is now open for the next Bali Retreat in September. If you have objections, but you really want to do it. Don’t let excuses stop you. Contact Jill@ChristineHassler.com to sign up. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Are you in a situation that has reached its expiration date? ● Are you paying more attention to the opinions of others, rather than your own voice? ● Have you left a situation, but feel tremendous guilt about it? ● Do you tend to jump from relationship to relationship, believing that it will be different? Anna's Question: Anna wants to be sure she is not making a decision to leave her marriage from a place of fear. Anna's Key Insights and Ahas: ● She doesn’t need someone to make her feel safe anymore. ● She doesn’t want her marriage to work out. ● She doesn’t know how to deal with the guilt of leaving. ● She needs to take ownership of her feelings. ● She felt she couldn’t trust her own voice. How to Get Over It and On With It: ● She should acknowledge and appreciate everything her husband has done for her. ● She should use listen to her inner voice and find her own truth. ● She needs to forgive herself for buying into the misunderstanding that she was a bad person. ● She should be clear about why she is leaving, and honor it by being a partner to herself. Takeaways: ● If you are trying to stick it out in a situation out of pride, fear, or worry about what others will think, be honest with yourself, and make a self-honoring choice. ● Reach out to people who support you and can give you spiritual altitude. ● Make a list of all the qualities you want in a partner, and become all of those things. ● Find yourself during my retreat in Bali. Sponsor: Freshbooks: Get a Free 30-Day Unrestricted Trial to Online Accounting Software. Enter “Over It and On With It” in the ‘How did you hear about us?’ section. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Inner Circle Membership Community Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@Christinehassler.com for Bali Retreat Information Marie Forleo’s B-School
Mar 08 2017
Rank #19: EP 195: Are You in a Relationship with a Narcissist?
This call is about being an empath, the type of people empaths attract, and about why empaths (or highly-sensitive people) attract narcissists. Today’s caller, Sara, is having trouble getting over her ex and would like guidance about whether her decision to break up with him was right for her and if she could consider going back. During our conversation, we discovered some qualities about him that make it a little easier for her to get over him.
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode195]
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Resources:Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community.To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to Youtube.com/christinehasslerChristine’s Personal Mastery CourseChristine’s Signature RetreatChristine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches CornerChristine on FacebookChristine’s Books, including Expectation Hangover@ChristinHassler on Twitter@ChristineHassler on InstagramAssist@ChristineHassler.com — To get on the waiting list for this show.
Jun 05 2019
Rank #20: CC: A conversation with my man, Stef Sifandos, about men
This is a juicy one! Meet the man in my life and listen in as we talk about what being a “conscious man” means and requires. Learn about his new program which begins August 8th that I HIGHLY endorse: Reclaim Your Kingdom. http://reclaimyourkingdom.com/ A little more about Stef Sifandos. He is a Relational Alchemist, Community Builder and Change Maker who facilitates transformational growth through neuro-empowerment practices, mindfulness, an integration of Eastern wisdom, diverse spiritual praxis and
Jul 21 2018