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Ask a Christian Counselor

Tres Adames is a Board Certified Pastoral Counselor and the Director of Arizona Christian Counseling in Phoenix, Arizona. Tres discusses topics on growing deeper spiritually, intellectually, and emotionally, and seeks to help others grow closer in their relationship with God and other people. Visit the website at: http://www.askachristiancounselor.net

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Responding to a Narcisssist

In this episode, we discuss how those in relationships with a narcissist can respond appropriate while taking care of themselves. We explain narcissism from a biblical perspective and discuss practical ways that those in abusive relationships can move on and heal.  Resources Mentioned Narcissism from a Biblical Perspective (Blog and Podcast Episode) Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud and John Townsend The Christian's Guide to No Contact: How to End Your Relationships With Narcissistic, Psychopathic, and Abusive Family and Friends, and Still be a Good Christian by Sister Renee Pittelli When Loving Him Is Hurting You: Hope and Help for Women Dealing With Narcissism and Emotional Abuse by David Hawkins Support for our show comes from Faithful Counseling where you can talk to a Christian licensed therapist online today. Take 10% off your first month.

21mins

15 Feb 2018

Rank #1

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Dealing with Toxic People

In this episode, Tres discusses how to approach and interact with toxic people—those who are critical, manipulative, and destructive in the way they relate with others. 

31mins

21 Jul 2015

Rank #2

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Rebuilding Trust

In this episode, Tres describes how we can rebuild trust after it has been broken. He talks about how forgiveness and trust intersect, and the process a couple can take as they recover from a major breach of trust. A rundown of this episode: 0:03 - New music for the intro! 0:20 - More recordings on the field in future episodes. 2:09 - Relax to the sounds of an Arizona monsoon rainstorm.  2:56 - The 5th anniversary of the podcast is coming soon. 5:10 - How the issue of trust comes up a lot in couples counseling. 9:15 - An analogy that explains how trust grows. 13:09 - Tres gives an illustration on trust by telling the story of how he adopted his cat, Majerle. 16:10 - Surrendering to God. Resources mentioned: Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend Boundaries in Marriage by Henry Cloud and John Townsend Healing Your Marriage When Trust is Broken by Cindy Beall

20mins

24 Jul 2017

Rank #3

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Can a Narcissist Change?

On this episode, we interview Brooks Gibson, a pastoral counselor with Arizona Christian Counseling. We discuss personality disorders, with an emphasis on Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and approach the subject from a Christian perspective.

22mins

27 May 2020

Rank #4

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Recovery from Verbal and Emotional Abuse

In this episode, we discuss how survivors of abuse can find hope and healing. We focus on the effects of emotional and verbal abuse and how they can affect a person years after the abuse has ended. Faithful Counseling provides online counseling with Christian licensed therapists. For 10% off your first month, visit here: https://www.faithfulcounseling.com/acc

19mins

26 Sep 2019

Rank #5

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Wisdom for Dating

In this episode, Tres tackles some controversial opinions around Christians and dating. He provides some practical suggestions as well as a step-by-step guide for discerning what to look for in a future spouse. Resources Mentioned Wisdom for Dating Worksheet Joshua Harris' Ted Talk: Strong Enough to Be Wrong Boundaries in Dating by Henry Cloud and John Townsend

23mins

25 Jan 2018

Rank #6

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Dealing with a Dysfunctional Family

Holidays can be stressful for those with dysfunctional families. In this episode, we discuss family dynamics as well as ways to set boundaries with difficult family members. We also discuss how a family genogram can help one learn more about one's family background and dynamics. Resources Mentioned: Genograms for Beginners by Tres Adames How to Set Boundaries (article) Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend Generation to Generation by Edwin Friedman Support for our show comes from Faithful Counseling where you can talk to a Christian licensed therapist online today. Take 10% off your first month.

27mins

21 Dec 2018

Rank #7

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Boundaries in Relationships

In this episode, we discuss how to set boundaries in a romantic relationship. We talk about red flags that come up when a couple becomes too enmeshed, and how to use boundaries to strengthen relationships.

18mins

17 Nov 2016

Rank #8

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Falling in Love Again

In this episode, we discuss how married couples can rekindle the flame and feel more connected. Often it's easy to feel love when we are first in a relationship, but what to do when the feeling fades and resentment threatens to extinguish the spark? We discuss how to address negative cycles and establish more healthy ones that invite connection. Resources Mentioned: Boundaries in Marriage by Cloud/Townsend Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson For Men Only and For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn The Self-Centered Marriage by Hal Edward Runkel The Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller Interested in learning more? Check out our courses in biblical counseling.

22mins

7 Feb 2018

Rank #9

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How to Improve Self Esteem

In this episode, Tres discusses how to improve your self esteem by looking at yourself through God's eyes. He shares his own story of transformation and how he improved his physical and spiritual health. Follow Tres' health and wellness account on Instagram.

24mins

27 Sep 2018

Rank #10

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Happiness in the Here and Now

How can someone find happiness? Is it something we have to go out and attain, or is it something we can experience now? Tres answers these questions and also gives hope and practical insight for those struggling with anxiety and depression. Are you looking for a Christian counselor? Check out our Christian counseling directory. Want to learn more about training in Christian counseling? Check out the Biblical Counseling Master Course™

27mins

30 Nov 2018

Rank #11

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Hope for Depression

In this episode, we give a broad overview of depression from a Christian perspective. We discuss the physiological, emotional, and spiritual aspects of depression and ways to find hope. Resources Mentioned: -10 Days to Self Esteem by David Burns: https://amzn.to/2sEOkuA -Faithful Counseling (10% off your first month): https://www.faithfulcounseling.com/acc

23mins

19 Dec 2019

Rank #12

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What It Means to Be Happy

In this episode, we discuss what it really means to experience happiness. We look to philosophy and theology and ask: Is happiness just mere pleasure or good feeling? Or is there a deeper explanation of what it means to find lasting satisfaction and fulfillment? Bibliography Adler, Mortimer. Aristotle's Ethics - Book I: The Theory of Happiness. Encyclopaedia Britannica Films, 1962. Adler, Mortimer J. “Happiness and Contentment.” Ten Philosophical Mistakes, Touchstone, 1985. Aristotle. “Nicomachean Ethics.” The Internet Classics Archive, translated by W. D. Ross, classics.mit.edu/Aristotle/nicomachaen.1.i.html. Katz, Josh. “Drug Deaths in America Are Rising Faster Than Ever.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 5 June 2017, www.nytimes.com/interactive/2017/06/05/upshot/opioid-epidemic-drug-overdose-deaths-are-rising-faster-than-ever.html. Rothman, Lily. “American Happiness Index 2016: Exclusive Data on Mood in USA.” Time, Time, 1 July 2016, time.com/4389726/harris-poll-happiness-index-2016/. Townsend, John. “Leadership Beyond Reason: How Great Leaders Succeed by Harnessing the Power of Their Values, Feelings, and Intuition.” Leadership Beyond Reason: How Great Leaders Succeed by Harnessing the Power of Their Values, Feelings, and Intuition, Harper Collins, 2011, p. 87. Warren, Kay. Choose Joy: Because Happiness Isn't Enough. Revell, 2013.

23mins

29 Nov 2017

Rank #13

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My Story

This is a special episode where Tres gives an important update about his ministry and also tells his story.

25mins

30 Oct 2019

Rank #14

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Relationships in Conflict

In this episode, Tres discusses how to approach marital and family relationships that are in conflict. He talks about settings boundaries, communication, and the difference between forgiveness and trust.

32mins

29 Feb 2016

Rank #15

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Setting Boundaries

In this episode, we discuss how to set boundaries with those we love. We talk about the biblical foundation of boundaries and go over a step-by-step process for setting boundaries with loved ones.

19mins

3 Nov 2016

Rank #16

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Medication and Mental Illness

In this episode, we discuss how to view medication and mental illness from a holistic rather than overly-simplified perspective. We also discuss how to set boundaries with others who are invasive with opinions about your health.

18mins

31 Jul 2018

Rank #17

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Understanding Mental Illness

Many struggle with understanding how mental illness and spirituality connect. In this episode, Tres discusses how we can understand mental illness theologically and compassionately respond to those who struggle.

24mins

1 Dec 2015

Rank #18

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The Most Important Thing You Can Do for Your Marriage

In this episode, Tres shares what he's learned from working with couples in counseling. He dives deep into many elements that make a marriage work, and addresses some often overlooked factors. The online courses mentioned can be found here. 

33mins

17 Jun 2015

Rank #19

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Happy Again: Freedom from Anxiety and Depression

In this special episode, we share a free audio course on finding hope for anxiety and depression. In years past, this course was a paid resource, but in light of the COVID-19 pandemic, it has now been made available for free to our listeners. Download the notes and worksheets on our website.

1hr 26mins

2 May 2020

Rank #20