About the Episode It may be the pinnacle of pleasure, but lots of women still have questions about orgasm. Julie Sibert from Intimacy in Marriage joins us as we answer many of the orgasm questions we get from our listeners and readers. Let's start with the basics. What is an orgasm? Why is orgasm important? That is, what's the big deal? Should a wife expect or want to achieve orgasm every time she and her husband make love? A lot of women struggle to reach orgasm. What advice can we give them? This last question is kind of like a lightning round. I'm gonna throw out some things we get asked about regarding orgasm, and let's see how many of them we can quickly cover: multiples, simultaneous orgasm, female ejaculation, clitoral vs vaginal orgasms, G-spot orgasm. Sponsors Use coupon code SEXCHAT10 for 10% off. Click to Learn More about EverPillow Honeycomb & Spice Community From the Bible What does God have to say about orgasms? As we say in the episode, He gave women a clitoris--and its only purpose is pleasure! Resources Peace and Fireworks – The Forgiven Wife Forget What You Look Like While Making Love – Hot, Holy & Humorous The F-Word I Don’t Like: A Rant – The Forgiven Wife These 3 Actions Could Bring You to Orgasm Birth Control and Libido – Bonny’s OysterBed7 DHEA Can Help Vaginal Dryness – Bonny’s OysterBed7 Episode 9: Listener Questions (includes question about multiple orgasms) Female Ejaculation: Is It Real? – Hot, Holy & Humorous A Different Kind of Sexual Wetness: Candid Discussion about Female Ejaculation Intimacy in Marriage Bonny Logsdon Burns on Amazon Author Central (follow her to get a heads-up when her Unlock Your Orgasm resource releases) Intimacy in Marriage – The Orgasm Page Better Sex in Your Marriage
28 May 2019
Thanks for your support! Click here for GoFundMe. We know that oral sex can be a difficult subject in plenty of marriages. Is it okay for oral sex to be part of a Christian marriage? What about germs? What if a couple disagrees, with one spouse wanting to give or receive while the other spouse doesn't want anything to do with it? In this episode, we’re going to tackle these questions. Let’s start with whether it’s okay for oral sex to be part of a Christian marriage. Ladies, what do you think? What kinds of health concerns might come into play with oral sex? If a husband and wife don’t agree about oral sex in their marriage bed, how can they work through their disagreement? More links and resources at our website: forchristianwives.com
6 Sep 2018
Today, we’ll try to provide a tutorial on what we wives need to know about our husband’s body to have quality sexual intimacy in marriage. Let’s first break down the actual makeup of male genitalia. What are the various parts down there, and what’s their purpose? How would you characterize the relationship most men have with their penises? Why is that part so important to them? We've talked about body image for women, but do men have those concerns as well? In what way? What about giving your husband pleasure? What are some of the best spots and methods for arousing and pleasuring him in the marriage bed? How can Scripture guide us in accepting, appreciating, and loving our husband’s body?
27 Feb 2018
2 Years of Our Best Sex Tips
We'd like to thank today's sponsor: Everpillow by Infinitemoon Disclaimer: We were provided with a free product. If you choose to purchase this product, Sex Chat for Christian Wives podcast will receive a small commission from Infinitemoon. All opinions are honestly given and not coerced. Click on the picture to learn more about this giving company and fabulous pillow. About this episode I'm thinking of a number! Can you guess what it is? I’m thinking of the number 2 because, it takes two baby! And, it’s Sex Chat for Christian Wives' 2nd anniversary! Today, we're going to revisit some great information and share some new about: How can you find your sexiness by managing body image issues, stress, and lack of time? What is Female Sexual Response and how do we use it to understand our sex drive for the benefit of the bedroom? How can you find fun with your husband in and out of the bedroom? From the Bible What does God have to say about our sex lives? Here are some of the verses we shared in today's episode: It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. – 1 Corinthians 13:5 Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. – 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and every creature that crawls upon the earth. – Genesis 1:27-28 and When the woman saw that the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eyes, and that it was desirable for obtaining wisdom, she took the fruit and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. – Genesis 3:6. Moral of the story: Sexual intimacy was encouraged by God and had nothing to do with "the fall." Song of Songs The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. – 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 Resources Love Like a Woman: Should Your Sexual Response Be Like Your Husband’s? – The Forgiven Wife The Macaroni and Cheese Lesson: Stepping Your Toes Outside Your Comfort Zone – The Forgiven Wife 5 Times of Day to Make Love – Hot, Holy & Humorous Are Stress & Fatigue Killing Your Sex Life? – Hot, Holy & Humorous High-Drive Wives Are Not Crockpots – Hot, Holy & Humorous Q&A with J: Why Did God Make Sex So Hard Sometimes? – Hot, Holy & Humorous Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations About Sex for Married Couples by J. Parker Why Sex Should Be Hot, Holy, and Humorous – Hot, Holy & Humorous Please visit today's sponsor: Everpillow by Infinitemoon Click on the picture to learn more about this giving company and fabulous pillow. Don't forget to use coupon code SEXCHAT10 for 10% off your order.
19 Feb 2019
Most Popular Podcasts
About the Episode Around 20% of marriages are sexless. That is, the couple has sexual activity ten or fewer times per year. About ten years ago, a New York Times study indicated that 15% of couples haven’t had sex in at least six months. Sexlessness in a marriage can be a source of deep pain—and if often reflects pain as well. Today we’re going to talk about sexless marriages and what you can do about it if you’re in one. Sponsor Click Here to Learn More From the Bible What does God have to say about sexless marriages? "The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 Song of Songs "Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2 "You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love." Galatians 5:13 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." Philippians 2:3-4 "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." Genesis 2:24 "'Haven’t you read,' he replied, 'that at the beginning the Creator "made them male and female," and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.'" Matthew 19:4-6 How beautiful you are and how pleasing, my love, with your delights! - Song of Songs 7:6 Resources Unlock Your Libido: 52-Week Sex Drive Transformation by Bonny Logsdon BurnsIntimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage by J. Parker Why Knowing Your Low Drive Spouse's Love Language Is Important - Bonny's OysterBed7 Move Mismatched Sex Drives Toward Better - Bonny's OysterBed7 Ways to Align Mismatched Sex Drives - Bonny's Oysterbed7 @Messy Marriage Helping Mismatched Sex Drives Become More Matched - Bonny's OysterBed7 Why Sex? - Bonny's OysterBed7 How to Arouse Sexual Desire Through Emotional Connection - Bonny's OysterBed7 Eliminate These to Help Grow Mismatched Sex Drives - Bonny's OysterBed7 Dear Wife, You Deserve a Great Sex Life Too - Calm.Healthy.Sexy Just Because He Stopped Asking Doesn’t Mean He Stopped Wanting - Hot, Holy & Humorous Is Refusing Sex in Marriage a Sin? - Hot, Holy & Humorous Q&A with J: “What If Neither of Us Desires Sex?” - Hot, Holy & Humorous Q&A with J: I’m in a Sexless Marriage - Hot, Holy & Humorous Q&A with J: “My Sexless Marriage Is Making Me Lose My Faith in God” - Hot, Holy & Humorous Is the Church Failing Sexless Marriages? - Hot, Holy & Humorous Q&A with J: “What Can I Do About My Sexless Marriage?” Part 1 - Hot, Holy & Humorous Q&A with J: How Do I Write a Post that Helps Sexless Marriages?Q&A with J: “What Can I Do About My Sexless Marriage?” Part 2 - Hot, Holy & Humorous A Prayer for Sexless Marriages - Hot, Holy & HumorousQ&A with J: “What Can I Do About My Sexless Marriage?” Part 3 - Hot, Holy & Humorous Q&A with J: “What Can I Do About My Sexless Marriage?” Part 4 - Hot, Holy & Humorous How the Sexually Rejected Spouse Feels - Hot, Holy & Humorous How the Sexually Disinterested Spouse Feels - Hot, Holy & Humorous A Moment of Hard Truth - The Forgiven Wife Leaving a Sexless Marriage - The Forgiven Wife Living in a Nearly Sexless Marriage - The Forgiven Wife Is a Sexless Marriage a Loveless Marriage? - The Forgiven Wife Upcoming Webinar Click Here to Learn More
30 Oct 2019
About this episode . . . Today we’re talking about marital aids, often known as sex toys. Is it okay for Christian couples to use sex toys? When we think of sex toys, the vibrator is what usually comes to mind. Most of our conversations focuses on vibrators, but there are also things like nipple clamps, penis rings, dildos, butt plugs, masturbation sleeves, and more. The Bible doesn’t say anything about sex toys. There is no “Thou shalt not use a vibrator,” nor is there a toy mentioned in the Song of Solomon. There is no specific instruction that we are to use, or not use, sex toys. Why do so many couples use sex toys in the marriage bed. What do they think it adds? There are good reasons to use sex toys, and there are good reasons to avoid them. So how can a Christian couple decide whether sex toys are acceptable for them to use? What are the questions we should be asking ourselves? If we decide to use them, is there anything we should be on the lookout for to be sure we are still using them in a way that is consistent with God’s plan for our sexual intimacy? From the Bible . . . What does God have to say about sex toys? The Bible doesn’t say anything about sex toys. There is no “Thou shalt not use a vibrator,” nor is there a toy mentioned in the Song of Solomon. There is no specific instruction that we are to use, or not use, sex toys. A Christian couple should approach this issue prayerfully, in consideration of Biblical principles and with the goal of intimacy. Resources . . . Why I Don’t Use Sex Toys - Hot, Holy & Humorous How Do I Eliminate Marital Aids and Orgasm Naturally? - Bonny’s OysterBed7 What If the Batteries Died? A Sex Toy Story - Bonny’s OysterBed7 3 Ways a Vibrator Can Help Marital Intimacy - The Forgiven Wife Batteries Included: Sex Toy Use? - Intimacy in Marriage Can Christians Use Sex Toys? - To Love, Honor & Vacuum
24 Apr 2017
The women talk about why initiation matters and share some ideas to help you get things going!
2 Oct 2017
16-Guy Talk: Men's Sexuality
J, Gaye, Chris, and Bonny talk about what marriage blogger husbands had to say about what they wish women understood about their sexuality.
14 Aug 2017
Episode 69: Shower Power About this episode Today we’re talking about bathing and showering—not just having sex in a shower or bathtub, but the whole kit-and-caboodle. You’ll see what we mean once we get started. Sponsor Click Here to Learn More From the Bible What does God have to say about sex and showers (or bathing)? Song of Songs 4:15 You are a garden fountain, a well of flowing water streaming down from Lebanon. Song of Songs 5:12-16 His eyes are like doves by the water streams, washed in milk, mounted like jewels. His cheeks are like beds of spice yielding perfume. His lips are like lilies dripping with myrrh. His arms are rods of gold set with topaz. His body is like polished ivory decorated with lapis lazuli. His legs are pillars of marble set on bases of pure gold. His appearance is like Lebanon, choice as its cedars. His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, this is my friend, daughters of Jerusalem. Resources Suave Conditioner (affiliate link) Foreplay Webinar Replay Understanding Her Sex Drive Webinar (for husbands) Married Dance shower-friendly products (affiliate link) Behind Closed Doors: 5 Marriage Stories, J. Parker Showering and Bathing Together: Why You Should Try It - Hot, Holy & Humorous 5 Tips for Shower Sex - Hot, Holy & Humorous Why She Needs Him to Shower - Hot, Holy & Humorous Feet and Sex (Pedicures can build arousal) - Bonny's OysterBed7 Episode 18: Listener Questions (includes a question about interest in feet)
15 Oct 2019
32-Advice for Our Newlywed Selves
What do we wish we'd known when we first got married? In this episode, the four wives chat about what they wish they'd understood earlier in their marriages and what they would like to advise wives now. Sex is emotional, not just physical. Assume love. Pursue happiness for yourself. Speak up. Breastfeeding dampens sex drive. Get along with your mother-in-law. Your husband is a child of God just as you are. Find more on our show notes, available at our website.
23 Apr 2018
Women's Sexual Response
Episode 6: Women's Sexual Response About this episode Today we’re talking about women’s sexuality and sexual response. Why do we have so many misconceptions about women's sexual response? What do we know about women’s sexuality that might some women might not realize is normal? How can we help ourselves (and our husbands) better understand our sexual response? From the Bible What does God have to say about women's sexuality? 1 Timothy 5:14: "So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander." 2 Samuel 12:24: "Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went to her and made love to her. She gave birth to a son, and they named him Solomon. The Lord loved him." Song of Songs 5, especially verse 5: "I arose to open for my beloved, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with flowing myrrh, on the handles of the bolt." Song of Songs 7, especially verse 10: "I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me." Resources The Forgiven Wife, Learn to Embrace Your Sexuality The Forgiven Wife, Love Like a Woman: Should Your Sexuality Be Like Your Husband's? The Generous Husband, Orgasmic Massage To see an image representing the massive real estate of the internal clitoris, follow this link to wikipedia. Visit our website.
27 Mar 2017
50 Shades of Here-We-Go-Again
About this episode Out in theaters right now is Fifty Shades Darker, the second film based on Fifty Shades series. These novels have spurred a lot of conversation and questions about erotica. And we’re going to address that topic head-on. 1. Why do you think so many wives have been drawn to erotic romance stories? What about this genre appeals to them? 2. I've had wives tell me that reading these novels awakened their sexual desire. What’s wrong with that? Isn't that ultimately good for the sexual intimacy in their marriage? 3. Some say that these erotic stories are no different from porn, and others say they’re no different from romance novels. What do you think about either or both of those charges? How are they the same or different? 4. Let’s get practical: What is okay and what’s not okay in the world of BDSM? 5. What are your own greatest concerns about the Fifty Shades phenomenon? From the Bible Galatians 5:22-23: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." Colossians 3:19: "Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them." 1 Corinthians 10:23: "'Everything is permissible,' but not everything is helpful. 'Everything is permissible,' but not everything builds up." (HSCB) Resources The Forgiven Wife: A Shaded View of Romance The Forgiven Wife: Are Romance Novels Okay for Christian Women? The Forgiven Wife: As Bad As Porn? Authentic Intimacy: The Good News about Fifty Shades of Grey OysterBed7: 50 Shades of Uncertainty? OysterBed7: Libido Boundaries? Hot Holy & Humorous: Why I Haven’t Talked about 50 Shades Hot Holy & Humorous: Has the Mainstream Embraced BDSM? Should You? Hot Holy & Humorous: Q&A with J: How about Bondage in the Bedroom?
14 Feb 2017
We’re addressing the topic of how we talk with our husbands to create a sexier and more intimate atmosphere for the bedroom. What defines “sexy talk”? What does that look like? As Christians, what kind of sexy talk is okay or not okay? How can we incorporate sexy talk into our repertoire? What are some specific ideas to get started or rev things up? Does the Bible have more to say about sexy talk? Sponsor Click Here to Learn More about Lorals This episode was also sponsored in part by the Honeycomb & Spice Community. Click Here to Check Out Honeycomb & Spice From the Bible My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely. Song of Songs 2:14 Resources Talking Flirty vs. Talking Dirty – Hot, Holy & HumorousSay What? Sexy Talk in the Bedroom – The Forgiven Wife Flirt with Your Husband (12 SFW Text Messages) – OysterBed715 Flirty, Corny, Steamy SFW Texts For Valentine’s Day – OysterBed7 Say the Magic Word! – OysterBed7 How to use Apple iPhone's Invisible Ink Bitmoji Webinars: https://forchristianwives.com/2019-webinar-series/
23 Jul 2019
12-Guy Talk: The Importance of Sex
Listen in as five marriage blogger husbands answer the question, "Why is sex important?" Paul Byerly (The Generous Husband and The XY Code), Scott Means (Heaven-Made Marriage), Brad Aldrich (One-Flesh Marriage), Tom Walter (The Romantic Vineyard), and Doug Taylor (Big Guy from The Forgiven Wife) discuss the importance of sex. After their conversation, Bonny, Gaye, J, and Chris chat about what the guys had to say.
19 Jun 2017
14-Guy Talk: A Wife's Beauty
When a woman sees her body's flaws, it can be confusing when her husband tells her that she's beautiful. She wonders how he can see past her flaws. Listen in as five marriage blogger husbands discuss a husband's perception of his wife's body. Then Gaye, Bonny, J, and Chris will weigh in.
17 Jul 2017
About this episode Merriam-Webster defines foreplay as "erotic stimulation preceding sexual intercourse." But what is erotic stimulation? And why is it important for the sexual intimacy in a marriage? How do men and women tend to think about foreplay differently? What does that word mean to husbands? What does it mean to wives? What actually constitutes foreplay? Why is foreplay important for a married couple? How can wives talk about their foreplay desires with their husbands? Is foreplay in the Bible? From the Bible What does God have to say about foreplay? Song of Songs – the whole book! "May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love" (Proverbs 5:18-19). Resources Rube Goldberg machine Freshen Up Your Foreplay – Hot, Holy & Humorous Newsflash, Hubbies! She Loves Foreplay. – Hot, Holy & Humorous The F-Word I Don’t Like: A Rant – The Forgiven Wife Love Like a Woman: Should Your Sexual Response Be Like Your Husband’s? – The Forgiven Wife Ultimate Intimacy app Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God's Design by J. Parker Visit our post for this episode.
23 Oct 2018
About This Episode Today's listener questions are: My husband is really interested in me swallowing during oral sex. I don't get it. I honestly don't want to work up to it; it's already taken a lot of effort just to give bjs and oral sex to him. But he keeps asking. I'm not sure what to do - keep saying no, or work through my gag reflex and dislike of the smell and try it? To be honest, it kind of grosses me out even thinking of swallowing. I've tried using the gag reflex sprays too and it doesn't help much. I just need some advice. I’ve read in some books and blogs God’s biblical design and purpose is that sex is a) for reproduction b) for pleasure c) creating intimacy - these three purposes are independent of each other — reproduction is possible without pleasure/intimacy or pleasure can be possible without procreation. -the maximum goal of the Lord is intimacy, for happiness of the couple and because marriage represents intimacy between church and Jesus So.. Do you think it’s possible to have real intimacy without pleasure in sex? Like saying “if sex is not really pleasurable then intimacy is not really close” or “the greatest the pleasure the stronger the intimacy” or “a marriage can’t have actual intimacy without good sex” or “no sex, no intimacy”, etc. I know is a kind of strong question but I am struggling with this thought because I’ve read the three independent purposes of sex at some blogs/books, but I feel some explanations are missing, specially for we wives striving with orgasm or painful intercourse or trouble with arousal, so “pleasurable” is hardly a way to define sex life. Sponsor Learn About Married Dance Here (affiliate link) From the Bible In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. – Ephesians 5:28 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 I have come to my garden-my sister, my bride. I gather my myrrh with my spices. I eat my honeycomb with my honey. I drink my wine with my milk. Eat, friends! Drink, be intoxicated with love! – Song of Songs 5:1 Resources What Are the Real Purposes of Sex? – Hot, Holy & Humorous Sex's Primary Job is not Lust Management - Bonny's OysterBed7 International Pelvic Pain Society National Vulvodynia Association Finding a Good Gynecologist – Hot, Holy & Humorous Do I Have To? - The Forgiven Wife Oral Sex: Spit, or Swallow? - The Forgiven Wife Enjoying Your Husband’s Semen - The Forgiven Wife Dealing with a Gag Reflex - The Forgiven Wife Goodhead Fundamentals Kit from Married Dance (affiliate link) Marital Aid Pilot Program from Married Dance (affiliate link) When It Hurts: Maintaining Sexual Intimacy While Dealing with Pain - The Forgiven Wife Maintaining Sexual Intimacy When Sex isn’t Possible - Messy Marriage Dealing with Vulvovaginal Atrophy without Hormones - The Forgiven Wife Episode 65: Female Sexual Health Q&A with J: Should You Just Swallow Already? Is Giving a “Blow Job” Enjoyable for the Wife? Upcoming Webinar Understanding Her Sex Drive (for husbands) - November 14, 2019
1 Oct 2019
UPDATED 29-Lies Women Believe, Part 1
What are the lies that affect our marriages and limit our ability to enjoy sex and intimacy? And what are the truths that we need to embrace instead? The four wives talk about two lies in this episode: Sex is for my husband, not for me. My sexuality should look like my husband's.
12 Mar 2018
13-Mismatched Sex Drives
Today we are exploring mismatched sex-drives and how your marriage can thrive in spite of it. We will be answering the questions: What are some reasons that a mismatched season can arise in a marriage? What do couples need to know about mismatched sex drives so that they work hard toward finding mutual agreement? If you are in a mismatched season, does your spouse know of your needs? Here are some ways to help you talk about this with your spouse. What are some specific things a couple can do to try to overcome the conflict of having mismatched sex drives?
4 Jul 2017
This episode features your questions about love languages, male-centered sexual expectations, sexual fantasies, and oral sex.
29 Jan 2018