Rank #1: SWM 048 – Anonymous Questions from July & August 2019 – Squirting, Anal sex tips & Unreciprocated oral sex

July and August 2019 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page. Check out the show notes here for more details and links.
In this episode, we're tackling the subjects:
- How often do people's sex drives switch from low to high?
- How to squirt
- Wife is into whipping
- Anal sex tips
- Single and curious about erections
- Low drive wife is secretly masturbating every night
- Husband has a secret Facebook profile
- Porn addiction ruining relationships
- Wife said she could go months without sex
- Low drive husband with Asperger's Syndrome
- Sex is just another thing on my wife's checklist
- Oral sex not being reciprocated
- Husband engaging with women online
Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:
- Responsive vs Spontaneous Desire
- Women's Health Magazine - Make yourself squirt
- Boundaries In Marriage - Henry Cloud
- Covenant Eyes Web Filtering
- The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome
- 22 Thing a Woman Must Know if She Loves a Man with Asperger's Syndrome
Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter
If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.
We lost a few supporters over the slow summer and due to fincial setbacks from a couple of our supporters, but we're gaining traction again. We're 81% of the way to our next goal - weekly podcast episodes!
If you'd like weekly podcasts, check out our support page for more info. Even $5/month makes a difference.
Oct 20 2019
33mins
Rank #2: SWM 044 – Anonymous Questions from February and March 2019

Tackling February and March 2019 questions from our anonymous Have A Question page. Check out the show notes here for more details and links.
In this episode, we're tackling the subjects:
- Is doggy style demeaning?
- Does anal sex always cause bleeding?
- How to start talking about sex with a sensitive wife?
- Can you have sex with an unsaved spouse?
- How to handle a wife orgasming too quickly
- Mutual Masturbation
- Swallowing your own semen
- Can you be married to the wrong person?
- Is sexlessness being unfaithful?
- Ethical porn
Lastly, we're closing in our our next support goal! 82% of the way there!
If you'd like weekly podcasts, check out our support page for more info.
And our survey post should be up this week some time. There won't be a podcast, so make sure you subscribe to the newsletter so you don't miss it.
Jun 09 2019
42mins
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Rank #3: SWM 040 – What happens to our souls when we have sex?

I was answering questions from February and March from our Have A Question page, and the answer to this one turned into it's own blog post and podcast episode because the question showed a common misunderstanding about what a soul is. Check out the show notes here.
If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.
Some other updates:
We've added some new functionality to our supporter's forum. You can now email in topics to discuss, and can just reply to the notification emails to reply to threads. Our users are loving it and interactions are increasing, which is awesome.
Want more podcast episodes to listen to? We're 77% of the way to the next goal, which will mean weekly podcasts. Did you know most of our supporters only give $5/month. Add your pocket change to help us meet our goal. Check out our Support Us for more info.
Analysis of our latest survey has started, and should be out soon. Don't want to miss it? Be sure to join our mailing list.
Have a question, but don't want to send an email? Call 1-833-719-0228 and leave me a voicemail. If you’re in the US, you can also text me.
Apr 07 2019
22mins
Rank #4: SWM 047 – Spontaneous desire is a blessing

Spontaneous desire is a blessing. Check out the show notes here for more details and links.
In this episode, I'm talking about how spontaneous desire can actually be a blessing to both the one with spontaneous desire and the person who's spouse has it.
Links I mentioned are:
- Responsive desire is a blessing
- Our supporter forum
- What's a good first sex toy?
- All you want is sex
- Trapped Gatekeepers - Blame the guard, not the prisoner
- The dual control model - Why you sometimes can't get in the mood for sex
- Your definition of gross changes when you're aroused
- Is sex a need or a want?
- Marriage Coaching
If you have any questions, you can email me at jay@uncoveringintimacy.com.
If you'd like weekly podcasts, check out our support page for more info.
Make sure you subscribe to the newsletter so you don't miss out on everything that's going on.
Sep 26 2019
27mins
Most Popular Podcasts
Rank #5: SWM 046 – Responsive desire is a blessing

Responsive desire is a blessing. Check out the show notes here for more details and links.
In this episode, I'm talking about how responsive desire can actually be a blessing to both the one with responsive desire and the person who's spouse has it.
Links I mentioned are:
- September Kegel / Squat Challenge
- Responsive vs. spontaneous desire
- Do you control your emotions or do they control you?
- Spice Jar
- Sexy Memory
- Learn how to massage your spouse
- Sweet almond massage oil
- Our Sexploration List
- Sexual inhibitors
- Desire vs. willingness
If you have any questions, you can email me at jay@uncoveringintimacy.com.
If you'd like weekly podcasts, check out our support page for more info.
Make sure you subscribe to the newsletter so you don't miss out on everything that's going on.
Sep 06 2019
22mins
Rank #6: SWM 045 – Anonymous Questions from May and June 2019

July and August 2019 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page. Check out the show notes here for more details and links.
In this episode, we're tackling the subjects:
- How often do people's sex drives switch from low to high?
- How to squirt
- Wife is into whipping
- Anal sex tips
- Single and curious about erections
- Low drive wife is secretly masturbating every night
- Husband has a secret Facebook profile
- Porn addiction ruining relationships
- Wife said she could go months without sex
- Low drive husband with Asperger's Syndrome
- Sex is just another thing on my wife's checklist
- Oral sex not being reciprocated
- Husband engaging with women online
Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:
- Responsive vs Spontaneous Desire
- Women's Health Magazine - Make yourself squirt
- Boundaries In Marriage - Henry Cloud
- Covenant Eyes Web Filtering
- The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome
- 22 Thing a Woman Must Know if She Loves a Man with Asperger's Syndrome
Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter
If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.
We lost a few supporters over the slow summer and due to fincial setbacks from a couple of our supporters, but we're gaining traction again. We're 81% of the way to our next goal - weekly podcast episodes!
If you'd like weekly podcasts, check out our support page for more info. Even $5/month makes a difference.
Aug 19 2019
34mins
Rank #7: SWM033 – Sermon – Sex: An uncomfortable topic we need to discuss

Want more podcast episodes? Support us on Patreon and also get access to our supporter community.
Jun 20 2018
43mins
Rank #8: SWM021: Spice Jar

Mar 23 2016
4mins
Rank #9: SWM020: 7 Dirty Fighting Techniques That Should Not Exist In Your Marriage

Mar 16 2016
14mins
Rank #10: SWM 037 – Anonymous Questions from January 2019 – Part 1

This podcast episode, I'm answer our reader's questions from January 2019. I got a ton of them, so it took me a while to write answers to all of them. However, there are so many I'm having to split it up across multiple episodes.
In this first part, we're tackling the subjects:
- Should single people be reading this blog?
- Mind-Reading
- DIY Arousal Lube
- Is it wrong to masturbate to get ready for sex?
- Sex Routines
- Sex Furniture
- "Unwanted" Book
Some other updates:
I’ve changed some things around with respect to our support community. Until recently, I’d been using Patreon to handle all monthly contributions. Unfortunately, Patreon has gone and upset a fair number of people. So, I’ve changed our Support Us page to include a PayPal option - for those who would prefer not to be involved with Patreon.
Also, we have a new survey up. If you haven’t filled it out, please do so here.
Lastly, I’ve got a toll-free number! I thought it would be neat if people could leave voicemails of questions and I could include them in the podcast. That way you can listen to some other people’s lovely voices and not just mine all the time. So, if you have a question and would rather speak it than write it, call 1-833-719-0228.You can also just leave me a voicemail there too, even if it’s not a question.
If you’re in the US, you can also text 1-833-719-0228 and I’ll get it.
Mar 01 2019
27mins
Rank #11: SWM041 – How do you stay interested long term?

It happened again. I was answering questions from February and March from our Have A Question page, and the answer to this one turned into it's own blog post and podcast episode. Check out the blog post here.
If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.
Some of the links mentioned in the podcast:
- Do you control your emotions or do they control you?
- Have you broken your wedding vows?
- Attraction Survey
- Conversation Starters Book
- 37 Questions for spouses to ask each other about sex
- Why solo masturbation is a problem if you're single
- Scheduling sex
Want more podcast episodes to listen to? We're 79% of the way to the next goal, which will mean weekly podcasts. Did you know most of our supporters only give $5/month. Add your pocket change to help us meet our goal. Check out our Support Us for more info.
Analysis of our latest survey has started, and should be out soon. Don't want to miss it? Be sure to join our mailing list.
Apr 14 2019
21mins
Rank #12: SWM 049 – Focus on your spouse, not the model

Focus on your spouse, not the model. Check out the show notes here for more details and links.
In this episode, I'm talking about spontaneous and responsive desire are just a model to help educator and guide. But eventually you have to drop the model and focus on how your spouse is unique.
Listen to these two podcast episodes first:
Check out our Intimacy Advent Calendar if you're looking for a Christmas gift to help boost intimacy and keep you and your spouse focused on each other during the holidays. Visit the site to check out all the amazing reviews people shared from last year.
If you'd like weekly podcasts, check out our support page for more info. Also, supporters giving at least $5/month get our Intimacy Advent Calendar free this month.
Make sure you subscribe to the newsletter so you don't miss out on everything that's going on. Lastly, if you have any questions, you can always email me at jay@uncoveringintimacy.com.
Nov 10 2019
15mins
Rank #13: SWM 043 – Anonymous Questions from April 2019

Tackling the newest questions from our anonymous Have A Question page. Check out the show notes here.
In this third and final part, we're tackling the subjects:
- Wife looking up ex
- Wife used to be a swinger
- Is bondage okay?
- Our sex life is boring
- Wife destroying self-esteem
- Is it okay to buy my wife lingerie for my birthday?
- Wife teasing husband sexually
- Why does my husband want to lick my ass?!
- and more ...
If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.
Some other updates:
We're closing in our our next support goal! If you'd like weekly podcasts, check out our support page for more info.
And I'm done the analysis from our latest survey. I just need to post the results, so they should be up soon.
Have a question, but don't want to send an email? Call 1-833-719-0228 and leave me a voicemail. If you’re in the US, you can also text me.
May 26 2019
38mins
Rank #14: SWM 039 – Anonymous Questions from January 2019 – Part 3

This is the third and final part of our January anonymous questions from our Have A Question page. Check out the show notes here.
In this third and final part, we're tackling the subjects:
- Sex drive and pregnancy
- Can medications cause permanent sexual issues?
- Low-drive husband's affair
- Birth control options
- Resources
- Fisting
- The banana question
- Sex machines
- Sex and being overweight
- Sex in heaven
- Tantric sex
If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.
Some other updates:
We hit our first support goal! Our monthly contributions now exceed our expenses for the blog and podcast. As a thank you, I'll be doing monthly podcasts at least. Want more? Well, then you have to hit our next goal. Check out our Support Us for more info.
Our latest survey has hit 1,100 responses. I've started on the analysis and hope to have it out soon.
Have a question, but don't want to send an email? Call 1-833-719-0228 and leave me a voicemail. If you’re in the US, you can also text me.
Mar 31 2019
42mins
Rank #15: SWM035 – Anonymous Questions from December 2018

This podcast episode, I'm catching up on some listener's questions that I got back in 2018.
You can find the complete questions and answers at https://www.uncoveringintimacy.com/anonymous-questions-from-december-2018/
Topics include:
- ED due to medical problems
- Husband in erotic chatrooms
- Sex toys caused sexual awakening
- List of books for continued learning
- Double standard on the blog
- Positions
- Anal sex in Song of Solomon
- Sexy underwear for men
- Hypnosis
- Is it wrong to masturbate if you don't have an orgasm during sex?
- Why there is nothing new on the blog
- How to ask a potential spouse if they like oral sex
- Orgasming on command
If you have a question you'd like to have answered, check out our Have A Question page at UncoveringIntimacy.com
Find us on
Jan 15 2019
1hr 1min
Rank #16: SWM036 – Sexy Memory Foreplay Game

Check out our new printable: Sexy Memory - Foreplay Game
On sale now until Valentine's Day.
Download it today and have it printed and ready tonight. 60 different activities to choose from so you can play at your comfort level.
Been getting a ton of great feedback from both husbands and wives. Some like that it forces them to slow down and lets them get really aroused. Others just like that it includes sex :)
If you're already one of our monthly supporters, check your inbox for a coupon code.
Don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss out our next round of anonymous questions. If you have a question you'd like answered, you can ask it anonymously here.
Feb 12 2019
4mins
Rank #17: SWM 038 – Anonymous Questions January 2019 – Part 2

Back for part two of our anonymous reader's questions from January 2019 from our Have A Question page. Check out the show notes here.
In this second part, we're tackling the subjects:
- Is hetero anal sex new?
- Anal sex re-hash
- Too large for anal?
- Prostate massage
- Felching
- Factors in orgasm ability
- Can women learn to ejaculate?
- Can kegels lead to vaginal orgasms?
- Can men be multiorgasmic?
- How to learn to orgasm on command
- Are my PC Muscles too strong?
If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.
Links to things we discussed:
- The Key to Feminine Response in Marriage (book)
- The Act of Marriage (book)
- Edging (post)
- The Womanizer (toy)
Some other updates:
We hit our first support goal! Our monthly contributions now exceed our expenses for the blog and podcast. As a thank you, I'll be doing monthly podcasts at least. Want more? Well, then you have to hit our next goal. Check out our Support Us for more info.
Our latest survey has hit 1,000 responses, so I'll be doing the analysis as soon as I can. If you want to get your responses in before I do, fill it out here.
Have a question, but don't want to send an email? Call 1-833-719-0228 and leave me a voicemail. If you’re in the US, you can also text me.
Mar 12 2019
28mins
Rank #18: SWM042 – God will never leave you

This is a sermon I wrote and preached in my home church on Matthew 19:1-11 - Jesus responding to the Pharisees asking about divorce.
Check out the video here: https://youtu.be/XZCdnDSKO4U
Get the show notes / text of the sermon here: https://www.uncoveringintimacy.com/swm042-god-will-never-leave-you/
Apr 21 2019
32mins
Rank #19: SWM034 – Limited Time offer – Intimacy Advent Calendar

You remember having advent calendars as a kid? Every day you get a chocolate, or a toy or something. For nearly a whole month, every day there was something exciting to look forward to the next day.
Holidays don’t exactly feel that way for us adults anymore do they? Well, I wanted to try and recapture that feeling.
At the same time, I know many couples struggle to maintain intimacy during the holidays. Not just physical intimacy (but that too), but it’s also a high-point for arguments and blow-outs. So, I wanted to make something that encouraged us to draw together during this season.
So, I put together an Advent Calendar for couples. It took me a while to figure out how to manage things like visitations, big dinners, people’s differing boundaries and comfort levels around certain sexual activities, travel, and even periods. But, I think I found a fairly elegant solution.
Check out the product here for more info: https://www.uncoveringintimacy.com/shop/intimacy-advent-calendar/
Only available until Dec 2.
Nov 30 2018
7mins
Rank #20: SWM 056 – How To Feel Connected During Sex

How do you feel connected during sex? Check out the show notes here for more details and links.
In this episode, we're tackling the question of how you can feel more connected during sex.
Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:
Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter
If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.
We are 53% of the way to our next support goal! Thank you to all our faithful supporters.
If you'd like us to start hosting virtual workshops, check out our support page for more info. Even $5/month makes a difference.
And don't forget to leave us a review and share with your friends!
Jun 01 2020
16mins